Richard Raley's Blog, page 16

Everchanging Dilemma Tease #2022

 Last one before release?

*crosses fingers*

---------------

“Now’s the time to use the restroom if you need it,” Ceinwyn might be enjoying herself too much.

No one moved.

“Or change your clothes…”

“I don’t have any other suitable wardrobe to change into,” Evelyn hissed, “I haven’t had time to wash my work clothes with the sedative sucker over there going into overdrive.  So unless you think me doing this in a dusty maid of honor gown from the back of the closet or one of my As-Slutty-As-Evelyn-Strange-Gets-Just-For-Vegas dresses is a good idea, you’ll have to keep smelling me.”

Ceinwyn was quite mystified by this.  “We have laundresses, don’t we?  And tailors…my laundry always does itself so we must…”

 “They’re mostly on vacation during the summer, Miss Dale,” Eva supplied without judgment.

“They are?”

Typing-As-Fast-As-I-Can-Before-Back-Rebels 2022 Update

So...
2nd draft is done except for the ending rewrite, of which I've got one hand-written page and some sparse ideas and outlining.  I know the last line...so...there!  VERY IMPORTANT!
3rd draft is 90/160 for the printed pages so far and 10 of those have been entered into the computer.  10 point font, wide margins explains the number difference from the 2nd draft by the way.  Very happy with this novel.  Should start hating it next draft, good sign!
4th draft will take place on the kindle after I format and do all the typing, etc.  That will probably be the last one and mostly be copy-editing and hate-filled cutting.
I'm finding that maybe I don't need as many edits as I used to, because I'm so aware of my first draft bad habits (you get an ellipsis and you get an ellipsis and everyone gets an ellipsis!), because the 2nd draft is so complete, and because the 3rd draft is so cut throat with cutting material.  I've already cut over 5 pages worth of stuff here or there, including some damn fine jokes you'll never get to hear, but they got in the way of the action, how dare they!
So, we make progress, release somewhere post Super Bowl in Feb seems possible.
Back is "better" but I still have a lot of trouble sitting or standing for long periods and reaching or lifting the arms up.  But the pain is tolerable with Tylenol and my trusty Biofreeze, especially if I take a day off once a week and get a solid 8 hours sleep every night to let it rest.
They want me to do physical therapy before any MRI gets done, so that's going to be some hours out of my schedule and I have 4 other appointments/procedures following up from the stomach surgery since we're hitting the 18 month mark.
As far as that goes, I'm down to 212 pounds and I'm no longer considered obese, just a normal fattie, so...yay?
After all that's done and EVERCHANGING DILEMMA gets out to you lot, I'll start hitting up the next couple books and if things go well you'll get one of those before the end of the year.  Or if I go goldfish brain you'll get both of them next year followed by FM7...finally...shut up!!!
Speaking about FM7, a while back I had a bit of an epiphany (which I casually mentioned) and it will no longer be "Runaway Rumble" which is now FM8 and "The Last True Dale" or FM10 will be moving up and also be renamed "The Most Obvious Trap".  I'll go into more detail on why later, but it's really smart stuff and also...you should B happy about it.
And that's my back's limit still, love ya'll, let's have a great year and fuck Covid!!! 
Again...
Last time?
Please, 2022?

Everchanging Dilemma: First Draft Page One VS Second Draft

Still a work-in-progress (please let it stop!!!) but if you're interested in the behind-the-scenes sausage making then here is what it looks like.  Also I suppose it sort of works as a sneak peek/peak of the book.  Also shows why it's a book and not a novella any longer since that first page grew 3x what it began as.  Of course it will change more in drafts 3 and 4, so...

Also for those of you that ARE aspiring writers...FIRST DRAFTS SUCK, keep working on it!  Granted you probably shouldn't show your first draft to people like this, since it does feel a lot like walking around with your fly open...actually that might be the second draft, the first draft is probably butt naked with a zit on your cheek...

Please don't copy and paste, link back here, all rights reserved by me, Richard Raley, yada yada.

First Draft Page One:

For the Institution of Elements, Learning Academy and Nature Camp, there were few greater failures in its illustrious one-hundred year history than Isabel Soto.

Evelyn Strange had hardened her heart year after year for her whole life and yet seeing one of her kids in such a sad, deplorable state still somehow touched the empathy she’d buried deep in its own ocean trench.  Empathy mixed with rage.  Rage at what this child had done to her many brothers and sisters in Elementalism over the years.

Rage at myself, for not pushing harder when we might have done something to prevent all this murder and mayhem, the violence and betrayal.

Evelyn knew all the symptoms and signs, had seenthe signs of that great enemy many times in the nearly two decades she’d served as Head of the Infirmary.

Anima Madness.  And all its recognized stages.  Dormant.  Progressive.  Dominant-Subverting.  Converted.

She had recorded them dutifully into her student medical database, forwarding all information to Administration just as the school bylaws ordered, where the Testing and Mental Wellness departments had sole dominion over that particular malady.  Keep them healthy and happy, Evelyn, that’s your job.

She’d petitioned for classes on the signs and symptoms, for pamphlets, even for a club where the students could understand and freely talk about their particular anima personalized issues.  We have therapists for just that reason, Evelyn, and we wouldn’t want to unduly scare the children, would we?

Her hands balled up into fists at her side.  Evelyn knew she was…grouchy…on her best days.  Angry on her worst.  Winter War when they let her kids hurt each other just for tradition and entertainment, so parents could beam over victories and crow during the Old Mancy Party Circuits.  But this rage…

Ever since that battlefield…

Eureka.

Victory.

Second Draft:

In the illustrious one-hundred year history of the Institution of Elements, Learning Academy and Nature Camp, there were few greater failures than Isabel Soto.

Failure to stop her.

And, yes, failure to save her.

Not one single failure either.

Many failures.

Failures of such weight and magnitude that they could not be claimed as a simple mistake.  Nor could they be easily brushed aside or ignored.  Nevertheless, they had tried that too, placing her in the same lockbox where all the other misshapen and ill-fitting broken citizens from the many prominent nations of elemental mankind resided.  It had a name that place:  the Cleansing Sphere of Reform.

But Isabel Soto escaped.

And her misery grew, still as dirty as gutter water, unreformed and unrepentant, worse than ever before.  It multiplied and festered.  Isabel Soto walked a twisted, gnarled path where blood splattered at every curve.  Her life and choices growing darker and more desperate until…what now could be done to rectify that cemetery of wrongs?  To heal those wounds that ran soul deep?

And what hope was there for ethos, pathos, or logos to bridge a divide created by such frighteningly overpowering magic?

Evelyn Strange, Head of the Infirmary, didn’t have the answer.  All she could do for now was to maintain her always strain composure and carry on in her most unusual task.  Even that was difficult.  Frustrating too.  Extra frustrating for a woman well familiar with the emotion.  Her mind was sharp and her skills, both mundane and elemental, were honed and yet…it all eluded her.  She was not one to leave such answers to others.  One could say her whole life wasabout finding answers, specifically to questions teenagers constantly asked of the world about how they could possibly make their lives more difficult by inflicting injuries upon themselves and their peers.  When Evelyn answered those questions, the kids stayed safe.  They healed.  They grew.  They learned.  They…turned into slightly less idiotic adults.

An improvement, if a small one!

(only now getting to the original second paragraph) Evelyn had hardened her heart year after year for her whole life preparing to answer those many questions, equally standing at the ready for the next instant crisis of blood and bone or a lazy malaise of runny noses and sour stomachs.  Few situations at the Institution surprised her at this point—seven years keeping King Henry Price in check will do that for a person—yet seeing one of her kids in such a sad, deplorable state still somehow touched the empathy she’d buried deep.

Empathy mixed with rage.

Rage built along the same dual line as those twin failures.

Rage at what this child had done to her many brothers and sisters in Elementalism over the years.

Rage at Evelyn herself, for not pushing harder when they might have done something to prevent all that murder and mayhem.

Strange knew all the symptoms and signs, had seenthe signs of that great enemy many times in the nearly two decades she’d served as Head of the Infirmary.

Anima Madness.  And all its recognized stages.  Dormant.  Progressive.  Dominant-Subverting.  Converted.

She had recorded them dutifully into her student medical database, forwarding all information to Administration just as the school bylaws ordered, but nothing more.  Keep them healthy and happy, Evelyn dear, that’s the job I place at your feet! the Lady had said upon Evelyn accepting her position all those years ago. 

Happy?  Me?

A cackle sounded.  Point made, point well made!  Can you at least restrain your natural inclinations and not make them feel too guilty while you stitch them back together?  For me?  And so I don’t have to deal with letters from their parents?

Evelyn had…mostly.  For whole days.  Maybe a week here or there.

Okay, so she hadn’t strangled any of them yet…that qualified as restraint, didn’t it?

Anima Madness might not have been in her purview, but it was inescapable.  Question without an answer though it might be, even worse than Isabel Soto’s dilemma.  She’d petitioned for classes on the signs and symptoms, for pamphlets, even for a club where the students could educate themselves and freely talk about their particular anima personalized issues.  We have therapists for just that reason, Evelyn dear, and we wouldn’t want to unduly scare the children, would we?

Her hands balled up into fists at her side.  Evelyn knew she was…grouchy…on her best days.  Angry on her worst.  Winter War especially, when they let her kids hurt each other just for tradition and entertainment, so parents could beam over victories and crow during the Old Mancy party circuits.  But this rage…

Evelyn felt reversed.

Inverted.

Not with days and weeks of peace either, but merely hours and spare minutes at best.

The why frustrated as much as all the rest, but she knew exactly when it happened.

That battlefield.

Eureka.

A victory, they all crowed, as loud as those parents after Winter War. 

Minor Pre Holiday Work-a-thon

230/242
Now the only question before me is do I rewrite the ending or not...
And how, I suppose...

King Henry Tapes Quiz (No Whiners Edition)

You asked for it, so here's 20 BAMF Quality King Henry Tapes quiz challenges!  Frankly...you'll probably have to work together and search through the books to double check the answers since I don't even know all of them off the top of my head.

How many Vicky Welf Sparkle Princess Rainbow Points can you win?

1. We Start Easy (for No Whiners Level): Who gave King Henry an Elven Blade?

2. Name King Henry’s four student advisors.

3. What is King Henry’s Guild number?

4. Jethro Smith often wins this award at the Asylum.

5. What is Christmas Ward’s Fairy Name?

6. What is Heinrich Welf’s Construct called?

7. Who was King Henry’s first "girlfriend"?

8. Have you figured out King Henry's birthday?

9. This is the last known Alpha of the Wolf Nation.

10. Horatio Vega’s “majordomo” is a Vega family member, what is her name?

11. The Divine Eresha wore many shells, which one was she wearing when King Henry first met her?

12. This vampire royal was never seen but ran the San Francisco Vampire Embassy when King Henry first visited.

13. This Intra team was set to play against Class 2009 at the BI Winter War before someone intervened.

14. Mrs. Dingle keeps this type of animal in her classroom.

15. Victim Number Splat, Victim Number Yank, Victim Number Crush.

16. What is the motto of the Guild of Artificers?

17. The Winterwarden teacher at the Asylum is often mentioned by Raj Malik with awe, what is their name?

18. How many faces did Isabel wear during “The Mancy Martial Artist”?

19. Moira von Welf’s maiden name infuriates her, what is it?

20. This rival and ruler of the Jaguar Nation represents the biggest challenge to Horatio Vega for Shifter domination.

BONUS ROUND (2 Points!!!)

What is the most horrific vampire sexual position as yet conceived?

DOUBLE BONUS ROUND (3 Points!!!)

King Henry knows Tad Code 12, so should you!

Stay On Target

212/234.

And the back has had it again, need a few more days off.

Good thing season 2 of the Witcher is coming out to keep me entertained right?  And all the other TV I need to watch like Wheel of Rand's Nightmare Jumper-Sweater-Thing-That-Eats-Souls Episodes 2 through 8.  And Squid Game.  And Arcane.  And the Great.  And Succession.  And...pfft...

For as difficult as this has physically been I really have spent all of my brain juice on this edit, without doing much else besides the occasional foot-soccer-ball game or Hearthstone video...haven't even been playing Football Manager, which is like...a miracle...

You guys didn't like do some group séance dark ritual shit to cure me of my Football Manager addiction and then accidentally give me a herniated disc did you?  Cuz...dude...not cool...

Anyway, very close to done with this Longest Round and moving on to the 3rd draft, which is already 1/3 done because of the Do What You Can When You Can mindset we're working with this go around.

Though I DO think I'm going to rewrite the last scene so its different characters instead of what I have now...which could take a few extra days and might add...who knows how many pages...but I think the new plan is a lot better and will be much more fulfilling for you readers.

I'm still trying to figure out how what was supposed to be a prologue to FM7 (oh, spoiler alert, post school story wrapping up, the books are going to have prologues and epilogues from the wider world, typically of a more antagonistic nature) has turned into a 240ish page novel...a really fucking awesome 240ish page novel, but still...

My name is Richard Raley and I might have a world-building, secondary-character motivation problem...

Pretty Useless Again

Can't type a lot.  Just...FYI.  Back is fucked again and stuck in bed.

Second draft of Everchanging Dilemma is also stuck at 2/3rds finished.  Have to be able to sit to work on that last third, so no bueno.  What I have done is print out the 2/3rds I have and I'm doing the third draft on that with my trusty red pen Cart Before the Horse Style.  Once I finish that, if I still can't sit for long, I suppose I'll change things up further and hand write the last School Story again just to keep busy on the idea that eventually all of this WILL get out to you guys.

So...everything is awful.

But I'm doing what I can!

Sorry I'm getting slapped around again, trust me, I'm 10x more frustrated by it than you are.

Now I need to go lie down.

Quick Notes Pre Thankgiving Edition

1.  Fuck turkey!  That's right, I said it!  Fajitas for Thanksgiving, woohoo!

2.  After doctor + groceries/pharmacy I am beat to hell again backwise and will be struggling to sit in a chair for the next week so expect more limited progress on the edit.

3.  That said, do feel like it's shaping up nicely and we're about 1/3 of the way through it.  Actually, it's such a comprehensive edit this time around that I don't think I need my "character" edit and will be skipping it.  Also as stated before Evelyn POV does not bleed into everything as much as KH, so easier that way.  I actually find writing Miss Strange easier than either Tyson (who makes my anxiety flare) or Vicky (way way too happy, plus EVERYTHING with Welfs is like fifty layers of politics deep so every comment or line of dialogue is this massive minefield).  Maybe even Darth Eva too.  Evelyn is...done with this shit and YOUR shit and ALL the shit, especially as we find her in this novel-lite.  Which nicely matches my mood at the moment...

3.  Better second X-Ray found thoracic scoliosis with 20% curvature in my spine.  Don't know the cause yet.  Wasn't there when I was a kid.  Could just be the weight for so long.  Also had a nasty fall in the bathroom 6 to 8 years ago.  Of course there's also the Betrothal story about me falling out of the car (oh yeah, true story!) only like I said, not there in childhood so doubt it was that.  Could be the weight loss not helping, since the bones and muscles and ligaments are getting all moved about and really sensitive, but...

4.  So...MRI, CT Scan, and an Orthopedic consultation are in my near future as long as insurance agrees.  Doc is worried about possible nerve damage and the like, herniated discs and all that.  Joy!  Guess I'll keep downing Tylenol and bathing in Biofreeze for awhile yet.

5.  But at least I don't feel as crazy as I did having these symptoms no one seemed to know why I had, so that's good.

6.  3 books came out yesterday I want to read, like my To Be Read pile isn't big enough already!  Granted the one plus of not being able to use a gaming controller is that I spend a lot more time reading and AM actually finishing a book a week once again, miracle of miracles!  Granted the new Outlander novel is probably 20,000 pages so...might take longer.

7.  Finally did some movie watching.  Shang Chi was great.  Raya and the Last Dragon was...weirdly similar and worse for the comparison.  Also made for 12 year old girls who read nothing but YA novels.  Which...fine if you're a 12 year old girl, they should have things they like, but...I am not one, so...that with the comparison made Raya a pretty poor two hours of my time.

Was thinking about it and the best way to describe Shang Chi is to call it the best Star Wars since Force Awakens (which had world-building problems, but we had hope in those days, before the dark days, before the Subverted Expectations Crisis).  Anyway, family saga, mom believing in the light, father pulled toward the dark, Father vs Son, Brother and Sister reuniting, great evil that wants to be released and suck people's soul/force out...totally works as a Star Wars movie.  With some amazingly shot fight scenes.

8.  Okay, back has had enough, going to lie down and read.  Enjoy your family and friends, eat up, and dodge the Rona!

Everchanging Dilemma Mini Tease #1

“She’s not showing yet,” Eva commented. “Her belly at least, everything else…would it have been that difficult to give her some panties?”

“Well established fact that the medical community does not believe in underwear, Reti.”
Eva blinked. “For the patients...right?”

We Continue Gingerly

Not stupido but arm is dead.  Back is...well, I'm figuring out how to cope better.  Using a portable keyboard helps.  Finally have my doctor appointment for more news on Monday.  Probably need a couple days at least to recover from more waiting room chairs.  Did do some editing today, 45/186.  One forth of the way, basically.  Then we move on to the next stage and start cutting.  Then formatting.  Then copyedit and...yeah.  Should be able to do a lot of that on my Kindle in bed at least...

That's all for later though.

Now I'm going to watch Wheel of Time and probably cry over how they've mangled my absolute favorite fantasy series from when I was a teenager (I imagine if you've read Wheel of Time and the King Henry Tapes that you might have put many of the influences it has on this series together by now...).

Well...at least we got Dune!

And here's hoping its not TOO bad...if they just managed like...Witcher quality...I suppose I'd take that...

Also season 2 of The Great to watch.

Huzzah!

Update:  First episode was rough, with some questionable changes, but not unwatchable.  Rand's ?wool? sweater, however, will haunt my dreams for the rest of my days.