Richard Raley's Blog, page 12

Heaps of Bull****

So my doctor got fired/quit/leg-go/whatever-the-fuck.  Which explains the sudden "vacation" and why I couldn't get an early appointment while the new doctor found her footing.  Not sure if it's kosher of the medical office to not tell me this or to just spring the new doctor on me when I stepped in the door, but...

Am loving the new doctor, she immediately did what I'd been expecting to be done a year ago and hooked me up with both pain management (appointment scheduled in November) and a neurosurgeon (appointment scheduled in December).

Writing has been extremely limited to once a week max for a couple hours tops.  It's not just the act of typing, it's that I know I'm going to pay for it the next couple days and Tylenol just is not working any more, maybe never did.  I look back on what I pushed myself through to finish EVERCHANGING and it's just...what a mad bastard!  Did make the exhausted/beatdown Evelyn scenes pretty method though...

So anyway, hopefully the hook me up with a steady supply tramadol next month.  I have some I've taken during the worst days and it does a wonderful job taking the edge off, as one would expect.  Also blew through one a day for a test run a few weeks back for like...four days?  And I felt a ton better and was able to write for four hours a day every other day and that's actual progress I'd be happy with at this point!

After that...surgery of some sort, we can hope.  At least a huge steroid needle maybe.  Mmmm...spine needle.  Kinky.

Speaking of "paying for it", I'm gonna stop typing now and watch some TI 2022.

The Greatest FM Newgen I've Ever Seen

 More like Lapmygaud!!!

Quick Summary of September

Last Two Weeks Super Ungodly Melt Electronics Hot = No Write.

Next Two Weeks Not Hot Actually Nice and Pleasant = Hoping To Write.*

*Depending On How Much of An Asshole My Spine Wants to Be

Proof of Life August

Still limping around.

Working on new stuff when I can, but hurt the back again and have needed the last two weeks to recover, should be writing again next week.  I suppose I should be happy we've progressed to two steps forward/one step back as opposed to step forward/step back/stuck in place I dealt with from Feb to June, but annoying that I'm getting occasionally sidelined still.  Biggest annoyance is that obviously there's some things I CAN'T do, like picking up heavy objects, using a controller, etc, without hurting it and so I know to be very careful but sometimes...it just gets hurt and I'm not sure what caused it.  Was it sneezing?  Was it writing every other day instead of every three days?  Was it that I stayed up later than usual or didn't get enough sleep to rest the muscles?  Was it the hardcore bondage orgies?  So frustrating... 

Super miserably hot in Fresno even for Fresno.

Tried multiple times to get a quicker appointment at my doctor's but they're booked like crazy so I'm waiting another month to hopefully finally get hooked up with some specialists that can finally figure this out.

Another RR movie rec:  Thirteen Lives.  Fan-freaking-tastic movie making from Ron Howard.  About the Thai cave rescue a few years back.  Very understated and just let's the situation play itself out without any extra frills.  You just don't really need the extra tension when the fear of drowning and the weight of all that rock and just how tight those spaces are does all the work for you

Tease: Guess the Speaker Edition #5

 “Faced with any possible use of its newly acquired free time, the mongoloid rushes across the campus just so it can ruin my breakfast, why am I not surprised?”

Still Circling the Runway

Really starting to feel like the Universe is conspiring against me at this point.  Had to wait to see my doctor to go over the MRI results as is and now she's gone for vacation for three weeks and I don't even get a reschedule call until Aug 8th at the earliest.  After all the other delays and insurance bullshit it just feels cruel.  Not that the woman isn't super overworked and overloaded and doesn't deserve her time off, but...feels like the office staff bungled everything yet again.

July WAS better than June which was better than May, but I'm still extremely limited writing-wise and just about anything wise.  Tell me, what's it like sitting in a chair?  Is it fun?  I've forgotten by this point...

Instead of 1-2 hours every three days call it 2-3 hours every other day with the occasional extra break day thrown in.  Tried buying a mini-keyboard controller I could just text-type slowly with and see if that was better, but pretty sure it was actually worse and I've tweaked something, so back to the normal laptop keyboard as able.

Progress wise I'm down to just 3 pages needing to be typed in and then we'll be onto new material.  This should be easier since I'll just have my eyes on the screen instead of twisting back and forth to read and then type and think and edit-as-I-go and all that.

Even at 2-3 hours every other day I figure I can manage 10k words a month, not fast, quite the malaise actually, but...do that ten months in a row and you do have a novel.  A normal novel.  Not the ever monstrosity WAR TO END ALL WARS is turning into.  So...the possibility of progress exists when it seemed very impossible just a few months ago.  Consider that a bright spot.

I like what I've written, so...that's also going well.  At least the scenes as they are.  The novel...I've extended the estimate out to 180k and even then I'm not sure 95k is enough to wrap everything up I've set into motion.  This shouldn't be this complicated...it's just a school story.  But then...it's capping six novels and dozens of shorts and references on a whole timeline while introducing a whole new generation which will have active roles in our mainline, so...

I think my biggest WTF RALEY is that I'm 85k into this monster and there's an argument to make we're just getting to the real story starting.  Which even for me is super slow rolling things...so I wonder if I should cut off parts of the beginning and yet they set other beats up that I need later in the novel and... well, this writing gig is hard if you want to do even a passible job of it...

And it's FRESNO SUMMER HELL, so my brain is generally just overheated mush and my laptop's fan is threatening to strike unless it gets overtime pay.  I hear some of our European brethren are getting to share our misery this year, so cheers, mates!

Anyway, the ellipses are breeding rapidly at this point, so let's call this your proof of life for the next month or so.   

MRI Day

Down to about 8 hw pages left to type/edit in, then new stuff for War to End All Wars.  Was writing every third day pretty much before this, but the spine DOES NOT like it when I lie flat on my back and having to do it for 90 minutes on a hard slab is probably going to temporally ruin my semi-crippled ass, so might need a week or two off after this.

Car rides also aren't high on my list...so that won't help either...

But at least we'll finally know what's going on in there and hopefully develop a game-plan towards fixing the problem.  Surgery of some sort, I imagine.  Since I've very done with this half-life shit.

Wish me luck!

We All Deserve a Tease

First good, painless night writing/editing I've had in over six months.  Progress being made again, MRI next week.  Literal first draft, so everything will change and typos and yada yada, but...enjoy!  Who knows how long the spine will hold out for me to keep going, but here's hoping!

***

Camping Test weekend.

Here at last.

One month down, ten more to go.

Only ten more to go…

Not a single dead body, but a few epic anima discharges along the way.

Max won the prize for the Most Embarrassing.  Never seen anyone shoot piss across a bathroom like that, much less all the way to the ceiling, and sure as fuck not for almost ninety seconds straight.  Like the poor kid was trying to control a fire-hose, but he only had a few inches to grab on.  Damn near lifted him off the ground at one point.  Not that I saw it all, took me a minute to run into the communal bathroom and…thought someone maybe tripped and busted a knee, but…even after it was over, poor Max looked like wanted to die.  Now I’m worried he’s gonna shotgun a hole through someone every time he whacks off!

Most Dangerous went to the Kanes.  Starting their usual sibling argument shit—so fucking happy JoJo wasn’t a mancer at this school or things would’ve gotten bloody!—over which was better and then suddenly they ain’t glaring eyeballs, they’re both glaring big spouts of flame at one another.  They didn’t smolder themselves, but their colors caught on fire.  Had them rolling on the ground, blasting them with an extinguisher and whatever dirt my geo-anima pool could add to the mix.  Was plenty embarrassing too, being they had to walk half-naked into the Infirmary and stay the night for observation…

And yes, I noped out like a pussy before Miss Strange started blaming me for any of it!

Camping Test weekend.

The first day in a month where I get to be meagain.  Think for me.  Not think for thirty fucktards.  And a dog.  Can’t forget the dog.  Or his ass.

First day where I get just a little bit of my Asylum life back.

Didn’t think I’d miss it, but I did.

Wasn’t even day yet.

Earlier.

Super fucking early.

Had-A-Coke-Binge-And-Woke-Up-In-A-Whorehouse-Bathtub kind of early.

Everyone else got to sleep in cuz…weekend…but notthe Foul Mouth.

I was in charge of the Singles.

I had duties.

I didn’t get to dream about sunshine and rainbows and…mountainsides that won’t shut up about weird anima shit.

Not everyone.  Mr. Gullick is leading the test this year and Wolfgang von Welf has to run his pack out to the camp site and there’s the bus driver and…and you!  King Henry Price!  Special purple penis butterfly, just like you always wanted!

Technically I was only supposed to head downstairs and wake up Class 2015, but if I have to be awake and it’s a holiday and all that, why should I put a cap on my joy-o-meter?

Joy-o-meter should go all the way to the fucking moon!

Also…I might have double dosed some special dark sin death-god European style Espresso something or other coffee that I pilfered from Welf a while back and…it hadn’t fixed everything in my life—still very horny—but the rest?  Felt really fucking awake right now.  Like…my eyeballs had eyeballs and they were wide open too.  And I might not like waking up in the pre-morning-even-roosters-still-sleeping of a holiday weekend, but…waking up otherpeople in the pre-morning-even-roosters-still-sleeping of a holiday weekend?

All those dorm doors!

All those sleeping friends just wasting the day away!

Double Sin Eater Cat Scratch Fever Coffee said:  of course you should, King Henry, of course you fucking should!

Geo-anima just bubbled on up as rebellion and havoc raced through my veins right beside all that caffeine.  Slammed my fist into Jesus’ door right next to mine.  His fault for not moving away yet.  Not that anyone would have traded , but with Athir dead and Isabel imprisoned there were open spots.

.

.

.

Yeah, that joke is a little fucked up even for me.

But…Midnight Demon Razor Blowpop Coffee said:  you’re so funny, King Henry!

I slammed my fist like five more times in quick succession.

Ain’t a tall man, won’t ever be, but I inherited my father’s massive hands and knuckles.  Made for some explosive raps and some solid thuds.

Door opened just a sliver.

Dark inside.  Only light was from a television in the bedroom, playing static insanity.  Even the LED lights in the hallway were still stuck in power-saver mode, little embers of orange uselessness.  Might not trip and break your neck, but couldn’t read any graffiti painted across the walls.  Got to use glow-in-the-dark stuff…if you like…wanted to write ‘Welf likes being pegged’ for any reason whatsoever…

Jesus met my eye.  Just the one, rest of him hidden behind the door.

Eye promised pain.

So much pain.

Stray dogs pissing on my porch, gnawing on my ankle, eating my cat, shit like that.

Returned him something that could vaguely be described as a smile.  “Mornin’, Lord and Savior, have you heard the good word?”

He took in my colors, fully dressed for my day.  “You’re a pendejo, El Rey.”

“Camping Test weekend, ol’ buddy, knew you wouldn’t want to miss any minute of it.  It being your first truly big Book Keeper event and all that, bets coming in from every angle, side bets on top of that, teachings wanting in on the action.  Really don’t want to fuck it up…especially after all the arguments got started about whether lesbians counted for your first bet given the wording you used and then the way—like by magic more powerful than the Mancy itself—there was this totallyorganic extra argument about how it was sexist and bigoted if they didn’tcount…on some thin ice, ol’ buddy, on some very thin ice…”

Jesus’ eye got across that it might not be a stray dog doing the pissing on my porch.  “How long are you going to keep punishing us, El Rey?”

“Oh, I don’t know…not that much longer…you are awake for the day, right?  You ain’t gonna go back to sleep when I leave, are you?  Anyone at all could stop by, banging on the door, since some totally random person might spread the word that you’re already open for business…”

Jesus’ eye got across that it would neither be a dog nor would it be piss, but from the other end.  “You haven’t made a wager, I noticed.”

“Insider trading, ain’t it?” I swapped from smile to canine grin.

“Bet on Leah, didn’t you?”

“Well…given the boys in Class 2015, it was pretty obvious she was the only one ever seen someone else's vagina before.”

“Or maybe it’s harder for you to rig the Camping Test.”

“Nah, obviously about how honorable and noble I am.”

Bed squeaked behind Jesus like someone had gotten out of it.

We stared at each other for a spare moment.

“Hope she’s prettier than a goat,” I forced myself to tease.

“Pretty enough I don’t mind their being no hooves,” Jesus quipped back.

“Also hope she ain’t Hope…”

He grunted, subconsciously sliding the door ever slightly towards closing.  “Least I have something to do now you woke me up.”

“You didn’t kidnap Tossy for the night, did you?  I’d have to report that shit…”

“El Rey, how much caffeine did you gulp down?”

“Wasn’t the size so much as the fact it was less liquid and more coffee-flavored syrup that I'm pretty sure made my pubes vibrate Thunderstruck all the way through the first chorus.”

“El Rey…promise me you’ll never do cocaine, okay?”

“Sure.  Good advice, Jesus, good advice.”

May Sucked, June Might Not

Kind of figured you lot are as tied of these depressing whiny updates as much as I am of typing them, so I haven't bothered.
Back went crazy again to start the month, spent 2 weeks horizontal in bed and not the fun kind of horizontal.  Also kept up the knife fighting with my insurance and just generally hating all of existence but bureaucracy more than anything else...
Then, about a week ago things FINALLY started turning around.  I don't know if reinjuring the back kickstarted another go of the healing process or what, but the pain shifted from purely muscle and spinal and fuck-you-you-can't-sit-up to being more nerve based, especially in my arm/leg/foot.  That's still very bad, obviously, and I'm still hobbling around, but...you can ignore your foot screaming and still kind of function, plus its been getting better day to day, so...getting back in the saddle writing wise seems like a possibility if nothing else goes wrong or I regress back to how the pain presented before.
Cross those fingers and toes!  If you can feel your toes...
Also, the insurance has FINALLY granted approval for the lumbar and thoracic MRIs I need and looks like those could be done this month, maybe soonish, so we'll FINALLY know what's actually wrong up in that curved mess I've got going on in my spine.
So as the title says:  May Sucked, June Might Not.
Author still alive.
Not promising anything because at this point tempting Fate seems like a bad idea, but...June Might Not Suck As Much.

Nothing Happening

Dealing with doctors and referral departments STILL MRI-less as the bureaucratic and administrative mistakes pile up on all sides, trying not to hurt my back so bad I have to lie in bed all day, editing for a few hours occasionally when able a couple times a week...

Playing Hearthstone again...Duels is fun...

Madrid vs City was crazy awesome...

Two thumbs up to The Batman...

50 pages left to edit + the handwritten stuff.  Yeah, super slow progress.  Do like what I've written.  Start of the book is kind of...a mess, but I'm not sure if I want to cut or where and if I can bring myself to kill so many jokes and great character moments just for pacing...especially since the point of WTEAWs is to BE indulgent and extra jokey and extra character based and plot be damned..."This is filler!" whiners will be out in force though...

Just never been this frustrated in my entire life.  I feel like my time is being stolen from me.  

Sherburt's still adorable, so there's that!

Though I could do without the 3AM surprise shoulder kneading sessions...

Sorry for the blah update!  Here's hoping next month we've seen some spine progress and that I can at least get those last 50 pages and the handwrittens typed in.

Take care of yourself, you only get one body!