Richard Raley's Blog, page 10

It's Hot

Just still slowly experimenting and doing what work I can, resting the back and wrists as I need to.  Tramadol finally got approved and its helping a lot with me getting around and not being in PAIN pain so much as SORE pain for huge chunks of the day.  Fresno summer is here, looks like 100+ for the rest of July.

Started the last scene of this session.  This is pretty much the midway part of the novel.  So...if you remember the way the school stories worked in FM5 and FM6 as a kind of double feature, this is similar.  First part takes place at the beginning of the school year and has lots of set up and then we rush forward and the second half takes place later in the year (this time around the Winter War) as everything wraps up.

Don't have to see the spine doctors again until the end of August, so more info then on Burnination #2 hopefully.

Outside of that, everyone enjoy your summer!

Early Experiment Results

Still feeling generally better than I have been over the last couple years, if a sore and beat up generally better.  My first attempt at typing was on my back in bed with a detachable keyboard, first completely horizontal and then on my left side.  Managed 1000 words that way and finally finished a scene that had remained in statis for over a year, but I was very uncomfortable the whole time and couldn't walk at all the next day.  Well...I could stagger to the bathroom and the microwave, nothing else.  Followed by zombie shuffling the day after that and my 80-year-old-man impersonation the day after that.  Spiked my pain like 4 points at least.
Experiment #1:  Failure!
1k every five days while I'm in tons of pain in-between just isn't going to cut it or is a situation I'm willing to enter into.
So last Friday when I no longer felt like one of the walking dead, I tried another idea I'd had, which was to lounge in bed and just text everything out on my smart phone's note app.  It's slower than the real deal, obviously, its going to take more editing once it hits the word processor, but...it seems to be sustainable pain wise.  I've written 4000 words this way in the last week, Ceinwyn and Plutarch are currently having quite the conversation with King Henry Jerry Spingering on the sidelines...is this the first time they've really had a scene together?  Can't remember, might have to look it up.
It's not 100% (and Mad Scientist Mode is impossible), but it's closer than anything I've felt since before I hurt my back.  I'm rusty and my writer's mind is struggling to return and War to End All Wars is still an indulgent monster, but...
Experiment #2:  Progress!
Going to keep with this for now and see how it goes.  Been staying away from the computer (either reddit scrolling or card gaming) and just reading a ton of books in bed as my main form of entertainment just to save my back. (btw totally recommend Naomi Novik's Scholomance Trilogy, especially for fans of the magic school aspect in the KHT.  One warning I would give is that the inner monologuing is A LOT...and that's coming from ME.  But I'm loving it so far halfway through the last novel, does a lot of the same things I'm trying to accomplish theme-wise with the KHT, granted in a very different way, also the main character El has aspects of KH and Val thrown together into one person that makes me smile for...reasons...)
Tramadol order is still fubar and still weeks until we know about when the next burnination can take place, so that's where we are for now.  But, ya know...4k words a week or more as I get back into what groove I can manage...that's something.  Still have the dictating setup to try out too and I want to give a go at rigging the detachable keyboard up so it's almost like a vertical triangle where I don't have to turn my shoulders and wrists to type and see how that works.  That's really one of the main differences between texting and typing outside of finger-usage, so it's an idea...
But for now, going with what we got and finally some progress!*
*remember that progress can implode along with my spine at any moment and temper your expectations accordingly!

Edit Pass Done

325 pages down.  Pain has been up and down, but down is miles better than it used to be.  Feeling a bit better for the first time in two years I didn't quite realize just how much pain I was in until now.  The pain I'm in typing this would make most whimper their way into bed for the day and I'm just...well, could be a billion times worse, so grin and bear it!  You don't understand spinal pain until you've experienced spinal pain and you might not realize how much pain you're in until it's let up...probably why when I always tell doctors I'm at is probably just a 7 or an 8 they just look at me like I'm a fucktard.

My mind has been spending a lot of time processing what it's been through now that it has the extra emotional space to decompress and I know others have it far FAR worse, but I've been fighting serious feelings of frustration and also...I guess...betrayal.  By who?  I don't know.  My body?  The Universe?  Who knows, but it's been a battle to shake.  We're also coming up on the three year anniversary of my Grandfather's death and the anxiety and dread and general melancholy seems to rise for June every year since.  It helped a bit to suddenly realize that's why my mood has been so sour (it always sneaks up on me somehow!), but it also hasn't completely been conquered.  It's better than it was last year and the year before that, so...that's another type of healing I'm going through, I suppose.

Still not sure how my spine will react to prolonged typing, so the next week will be very experimental as I figure this out.  Maybe the next two weeks even.

Pain doctors are also up and down on whether I can get the burnination done six months after the last instead of waiting until next year, since it's on a different level (Cervical vs Thoracic), so might get that relief sooner rather than later, depending on how the insurance has it all worded.  Won't know more until next month, but we're talking October instead of January if it does go through.  They've also put me on low dose tramadol for the pain finally, just to cover all the spots they aren't burning, but insurance is making that extra difficult too and I've been waiting six weeks now for all the authorization to get finalized.  The one week I was able to really write decently in 2022 was when I said 'fuck it' and popped those one day right in a row, so...that could be another tool towards productivity.  Obviously I don't want to, but...God it would be nice to be able to sit in a chair again!  Much less get out of this house for something other than a doctor appointment...

To summarize:  doing better, actually got some work done, might get some NEW work done, but it could all implode at any moment if a few nerves decide they're not going to be team players, so...day at a time!  Huzzah!

Hey, look at all that I typed!!!

Cut This, Might Be Worth a Laugh

 It would be impossibly hard.

Mostly because Class 2015 respected and admired meand sought my praise.  They’re teenagers,they’re supposed to be antisocial and shit, what the fuck is wrong with thisupcoming generation?

Always being connected to society for everywaking moment, constantly being judged for every action by every person they’veever come into contact with and millions upon millions of strangers, with theSword of Damocles hanging over their head if they make the slightest, littlemistake they’ll be digital stoned and left as a pariah?

Nope, it has to be porn!

Or the existential threat of Climate Changemaking existence largely pointless and procreation a recipe for theirgrandchild starving to death once all the crops wither and fail and…the dolphinscommit mass seppuku with severed swordfish heads or some shit?

No! No!  It has to be the video games!

Video games and porn!  Especially videogame porn!  They make that, right?  You…do you know any good ones?  A…a friend was asking about it, ya know?

Second/Right Side Procedure Tomorrow

 C7-C8, T1-2 is what they settled to work on.  Pain in the left side has been far less since last week, but I don't think it's ever going to be quite as complete as what the burnination provided in my mid back.  Still, it is an improvement and I've managed to edit 40 pages so far this week.  40 is a lot more than zero, obviously!

Still not sure how much actual full on typing I can do, probably be a couple weeks before I know for sure.  Going to be a lot of experimentation with positions and different keyboards and dictation and all of the above to figure out what works and what kind of pace I can keep at without exploding all my other problem areas.  Who knows if they might want to do another procedure lower down to help him my spasms and cramps or maybe put me on another medication, we'll see!

But, yeah, 40 pages isn't nothing.  280 to go and then we'll see about getting into new material again!

On Demand Printing Price Increase INCOMING

Just wanted everyone to know that Amazon is rising the print prices come June 20, so they've set up an option for authors to automatically keep the same royalty rates with a single button press and I'll be doing so.  Which means if you ever wanted to grab the printed version of the series (expensive vanity decorations that they already are!) now would be the cheapest time to pick them up.  Cheap being relative...especially Pit of No Return...you read Kindle Unlimited I make 7 bucks, you buy $20 print version I make 1 buck!  Does it make any sense whatsoever?  NO!!!

Anyway, if you need some really expensive doorstoppers, they'll be even more expensive next month, so plan accordingly.

Another Step On the Road

Got through post-op.

Really sucky news:  the insurance only allows one burnination a year, since most people generally only have one spot on their spine that's problematic, but for me with Question Mark Corkscrew Rattlesnake monstrosity...it's a pretty shitty policy.  Instead I'll be getting spinal steroid shots every three or so months going forward in that upper bad spot (C7-T1) until they can refocus the burnination up there.  It's become very clear with the mid back pain removed (T6-T9) that it's the upper spot of my not-so-hunchback that's pushing all the rest of the pain and not that peak part of the scoliosis curve in the mid back, so we have a much clearer picture...it's just the "best shot" wasn't actually the best shot and they're stop-gaping until they can take another.

Slightly Iffy News:  So...my dance card is very full again for May with the possibility of eight different appointments since for some stupid reason I also scheduled my yearly physical, dental cleaning, and EOE endoscopy for now too...so...just...fuck Past Me!

Good News:  even though the shot missed the big bad, it still killed a henchman.  My pain is a lot better in that spot.  So we know burnination works.  Don't know how much straight typing I can do, but editing and learning how to dictate is in the wheelhouse now that my general pain isn't just making me miserable all day long and I'm in no mood to be creative.  I know it's not what you fans wanted to hear and I know it's not what I hoped for, but after years of this lingering and then exploding we are fighting back, it's just a slog until we turn the tide and hold the nerve-hordes at bay.

May my next post after the injections have nothing but the good news!

Another Step In the Road

Got through post-op.

Really sucky news:  the insurance only allows one burnination a year, since most people generally only have one spot on their spine that's problematic, but for me with Question Mark Corkscrew Rattlesnake monstrosity...it's a pretty shitty policy.  Instead I'll be getting spinal steroid shots every three or so months going forward in that upper bad spot (C7-T1) until they can refocus the burnination up there.  It's become very clear with the mid back pain removed (T6-T9) that it's the upper spot of my not-so-hunchback that's pushing all the rest of the pain and not that peak part of the scoliosis curve in the mid back, so we have a much clearer picture...it's just the "best shot" wasn't actually the best shot and they're stop-gaping until they can take another.

Slightly Iffy News:  So...my dance card is very full again for May with the possibility of eight different appointments since for some stupid reason I also scheduled my yearly physical, dental cleaning, and EOE endoscopy for now too...so...just...fuck Past Me!

Good News:  even though the shot missed the big bad, it still killed a henchman.  My pain is a lot better in that spot.  So we know burnination works.  Don't know how much straight typing I can do, but editing and learning how to dictate is in the wheelhouse now that my general pain isn't just making me miserable all day long and I'm in no mood to be creative.  I know it's not what you fans wanted to hear and I know it's not what I hoped for, but after years of this lingering and then exploding we are fighting back, it's just a slog until we turn the tide and hold the nerve-hordes at bay.

May my next post after the injections have nothing but the good news!

Burnination #2

Miserable today afterwards, but if it's like the left side the discomfort should plateau about five days in and then I'll get some serious improvement around day 10.  Been sleeping really good, able to stand up straighter, able to sit up on the bed/couch much straighter with barely any pain in the section they worked on.  Shoulders/arms/wrist/fingers and lower back are still problems.  Sitting in a chair, riding in the car, and typing too much...also still problems.

Realistically, I might be able to manage some editing of what I already have in May followed by some dictation of new material.  Hopefully...more, but...realistically...

I'm sure I'll be having a post op pretty soon.  Yet again hopefully about what part of my spine they want to target next.  Higher up would be my preference, since that's where all the important bits are...not that walking without cramps and spasms in my legs isn't, but...the hands let me write and that's what I'll always put first.

I've found a sliver of relief and I'm greedy for more!

Nerves Burninated

In quite a bit of pain as the suckers die off and the poor confused muscles spasm over the mixed signals.  Recovery can take up to a couple weeks (usually doesn't, but it can).  Then we're directly into the right side of the spine and we start the clock all over again.  But yeah, can type this, so there's that!  Tired and thirsty and hungry and...

Anyone else always make these plans where they're like "oh I'll watch that amazing thing I haven't gotten to yet, that's such a good time to have nothing to do!" and then you remember "but...I'm miserable and I like that thing and I don't want to chance my current shittiness dragging it down."  So basically I'm currently surfing every channel/service for shows/movies I think I probably won't like too much but might entertain just a little bit instead of something I know I'll like but am in no mode to enjoy...

Tis quite the conundrum...