Patrick Rhone's Blog, page 9

Things I Love — Patagonia Houdini Jacket

We’ve been having some strange weather this year. One minute it is partly cloudy with lots of sun, and just a few minutes later it is a pouring deluge. Lots of very windy days too. You just never know what the weather is going to hold.

Thankfully, this spring I bought a Patagonia Houdini Jacket. It has really been nice to have. It’s super lightweight and breathable. When on, it feels like you are wearing nothing extra but it does a great job protecting one against a chilly wind or most light drizzles. And, thanks to its light and breathable nature, a good run or other athletic activity is not out of the question (in fact, it is designed for such).

But perhaps the best part is that it packs into its own chest pocket resulting in a package about the size of a frozen burrito. Easy to throw into a bag or even a side pocket of your chinos. Mine pretty much stays with me in recent days. You just don’t know what surprises the weather now holds.

Your Independence Day

When the American Revolutionaries gathered to declare their Independence from Great Britain, it was really just the beginning of a hard fought war to actually achieve that goal. It was not until the Treaty of Paris, signed on September 3, 1783 that this freedom was secured.

It is because of this that one might find it a good day for personal reflection. One to seek, discover, and declare those the things in life we want to declare our own independence from.

Is there is an unhealthy relationship in your life you know it’s time to be free of? Maybe, there is a task or project that hangs over you. One you need to either complete or walk away from. Or, a habit or addiction that is time to break free of. Then, there is freedom from debt or financial freedom. Freedom from having to worry. All of us have something we wish we could be free of.

Perhaps, this is a good day to declare your independence from something. Sit down, grab a paper and pen, date it, write it out, and sign your name. Tack it up in a prominent place so that you are forced to remember this day — your independence day.

Freedom from anything that takes away value from our lives is, like those brave revolutionaries discovered, worth fighting for. And, stating definitively what you are fighting for is a reminder of what makes the time, effort, blood, tears, wins, losses, and every thing else it takes worth it.

Items of Interest #16

Here are some things. Things you might enjoy. Things that may inform. Things that may entertain.

Lexicon by Max Barry is a thrilling and action packed novel about the power of words and love. I can’t give away much more than that or it will spoil it. Could not put this down. Seriously, if you want to spend two days completely wrapped up in a book, you should get it.

I really enjoyed the video of this talk by Tina Roth Eisenberg (SwissMiss). Inspired by Mike Rohde’s upcoming Sketchnote Workbook, I decided to try my hand at sketchnoting the video. Turned out well I think.

Sprechen Sie Deutsch? Even if you don’t speak German, you can still read this interview with me by Kevin Wammer of Apfeltech. The English version is included at the bottom. We cover a wide range of questions including using the iPhone as a primary writing device, balancing the analog and digital, and finding “enough” when it comes to technology. It came out well and I think you’ll enjoy it.

I’m not a huge John Mayer fan but I generally find him very talented and an underrated blues guitarist. That said, I did really enjoy this indie-made documentary about his career so far.

Why, of course, you don’t want to miss me explaining why Jesus Christ Superstar might be the greatest musical ever made.

David Sparks has a new edition of his excellent Field Guides series all about presentations. Can’t wait.

My friend Garrick’s Expand newsletter continues to delight and inform every week. May be a bit pricey for some but, to me, it has been been worth every penny.

That should keep you busy for a while. It’s a short week so I know you weren’t planning on getting any work done anyway.

I’m a writer. Writing is how I make this world a better, friendlier, stronger place. If these words improved your day, please let me know by contributing here.

The Fucks and How We Give Them (A Manifesto)

The older I get, the fewer fucks I’m willing to give.

The fucks I have to give are few, finite, and often fleeting. Therefore, I’m careful about those that I give.

There are only so many fucks one can give in a lifetime anyway.

I only want to give my fucks where they can make a difference.

I am strategic with the fucks I give.

I am intentional with the fucks I give.

Most things we encounter in life are not worth our fucks.

Most “news” is designed to trick us into giving our fucks to things that don’t deserve them or where they have no value.

Most “stuff” is designed to trick us into giving a fuck about things that have no true utility.

In fact, many things in our society are purpose build to trick us into giving a fuck where it matters least and serves us even less.

Just because someone tells me I should give a fuck does not mean I should give a fuck.

Just because you give a fuck does not mean I should give a fuck.

Our fucks are our fucks alone to give.

It’s OK for you to give a fuck about something that I don’t give a fuck about.

Where we give our fucks is our own business.

I judge no one based upon where they choose to give their fucks. Frankly, I don’t give a fuck.

Unless, you give a fuck about something that directly harms me. In which case, I will likely give a fuck.

In order to expect anyone to give a fuck about you, you must first give a fuck about yourself.

My giving a fuck about what you think of me is directly connected to how much of a fuck I give about you.

Most ideas we encounter are worth listening to but, then, quickly deciding if they are worth a fuck.

The really important things are worth at least two fucks.

Any time given to whether or not one should give a fuck about something is time well spent. Except, where not giving a fuck should be obvious.

Always appreciate when someone gives a fuck about you. Make sure to thank them for giving a fuck.

The next time you feel yourself getting outraged, stop to ask yourself if you should really, truly, give a fuck about it. You will find that most of the time the answer will be, “No. I don’t give a fuck.”

Our enjoyment of life increases with the less fucks we give.

Giving a fuck about things that are worth it are what make life meaningful.

I do give a fuck about offending people with this message through the profanity with which I’ve chosen to deliver it. But I give more of a fuck about calling it like I see it, telling it straight, and not fucking around.

I give more than a few fucks about the truth (as I see it).

Truth is the perspective you choose to give a fuck about.

And, I give a fuck about sharing this one with you.

Make It Real

When I come up with a new idea or a new project, I find that simply writing it down amongst the daily scribbling in my journal is nice but no guarantee of it ever becoming anything more than that. Instead, I find that if it is something I’m really serious about, I need to take a small step towards making that idea real.

For instance, Twyla Tharp notes in her wonderful book, The Creative Habit, that every new project for her starts with a box. She notes:

Everyone has his or her own organizational system. Mine is a box, the kind you can buy at Office Depot for transferring files. I start every dance with a box. I write the project name on the box, and as the piece progresses I fill it up with every item that went into the making of the dance. This means notebooks, news clippings, CDs, videotapes of me working alone in my studio, videos of the dancers rehearsing, books and photographs and pieces of art that may have inspired me.

As you can see, it’s nothing big. It’s just some words on a box. But it is about everything that box now represents. It is a simple start, a promise to fill it, and a goal to finish the project. The box is a commitment.

It doesn’t have to be anything special — or even a box. Make a folder for your idea or write the project name and date at the top of a fresh notebook page. The point is to do something. To take the first step. To own it.

Getting Started (After Only Twenty Years)

There is a science fiction story I have had brewing in my head now for over twenty years. It started as just a very simple idea. A “what if” question. A spark of something. For years and years I brushed it aside whenever it popped into view. I always had, what I felt, were valid excuses for writing it off. Here’s how the dialog would most often happen inside my head…

“I’m not a fiction writer.”

“I’m certainly not a science fiction writer.”

“But, it’s a really good idea.”

“Maybe, it would be good to give to one of my friends that are, accomplished, science fiction writers.”

I would act on this. I would tell it to my sci-fi writer friends in passing. They would kindly hear me out, but express no real interest in stealing it from me. “It’s a good idea.”, they would say. “You should write it.”

“But I don’t know how?”, I would resign.

And, so, back into the the bin it would go. Only to pop back up next week/month/year. But, each time a little bit closer — more fully formed each time it returned. Closer to a real story.

The excuses to avoid it, therefore, had to become even more deft…

“I can see the story but I have no idea who would tell it.”

“Where is the voice of the story coming from?”

“Without a voice, you can’t tell a story.”

I would shove it into the bin again — with force and prudence. Convinced that this idea was beyond my reach creatively. It was not my genre. I had no voice. I only had rough ideas and sketches and major details. But, I had not the talent nor skill to weave together into a coherent narrative.

But the idea keeps coming back. It haunts me. It now wakes me up in the middle of the night. It keeps me from being able to rest. Each time getting closer. Showing me a little bit more of itself.

“Write.”, it says.

A few weeks back it gave me it’s voice. I now know who is telling the story and why. And, last night, It came to me in a dream. The opening scene at least. It was lucid while I was barely so. I saw our protagonist. I knew his motivations. It was a start. It was not the whole story. But, it was enough for me to get the opening lines down first thing this morning.

Y’weh sits on the bench with his face in his hands. He’s tired. Lately, he sits here in much the same position before the work day begins. Exhausted before he has even started. His lab coat feeling like a burial shroud. He’s been at this job for a very long time. And, if he could find another — if he had a choice — he would. But, once you start The Process, you can’t stop the stars. You have to see them through.

It may take me another twenty years to finish. But, today, I finally exhausted all of my excuses — I started.

About My Personal Brand…

Over the ten-plus years of this blog, I have had many people comment on the look and feel of the site. They like my “logo” or the “clean and minimal look and feel”1. They like the consistency of my “branding” across all of my sites2. Or, any number of things along these same stylistic lines.

They think, that in order to be even moderately successful one needs this sort of “personal brand strategy” to be taken seriously. That, they can’t get started doing what it is they want to do without figuring such things out first.

The problem is that what they see as my personal brand is not, in fact, my personal brand. How my site or logo or business cards or the fact that they are all nicely matchy-matchy have nothing to do with my personal brand.

Because, I now know that worrying about “personal branding” and “social media strategy” and the rest of that silliness has ZERO to do with success. You know what that stuff is?

1) An excuse to cover up the fear of not getting started doing what you say you want to do by telling yourself you need all of that stuff to start or be successful.

2) Something for people who wish to capitalize on that fear to tell you need to get so they can sell it to you and make themselves successful.

Here are two examples of people far more successful than me who care nothing about their “personal brand”. Both of these people started in exactly the same place we all have and are huge successes with ZERO attention paid to what most people think is personal branding:

Seth Godin — Seth doesn’t even host a blog on his own domain name. He uses TypePad for gosh sake! The only personal brand he has is this: He shows up, every day, with helpful advice about (mostly) marketing and life. He shows up with a desire and willingness to create things that help people be better at sales and marketing.

Alan Weiss — Look at that website? It’s like an assault on your eyes! And, his Twitter handle isn’t even his name. It’s the damn car he drives. Yet, he makes millions in consulting fees every year and has written some of the most sought after, expensive, and hard to find (because they are always out of stock) books on the subject of consulting and life-balance. He shares his knowledge and tough love. He shows up with a desire and willingness to create things that help people be better and more successful consultants.

The desire and willingness to create things that genuinely help people is the only business plan and personal brand you need. With this, you can get started today. No fancy website or business cards needed.

Do you or do you not want to help people? If so, then do so. Don’t wait until you come up with a “personal brand”. Because, what you call my “personal brand” is not, in fact, my personal brand.

You know what my personal brand really is? I’ll give you a hint: It has nothing to do with my “simple, minimal, and unique branding”. It is the ONLY thing that has made me as moderately successful as I am…

The only personal brand I strive to develop is genuine kindness and a desire to help others.

That is my personal brand.

If you want to copy something, copy that. If you want to have any chance of being successful, start there. And, when you do, measure your success not in money, but in the number or people you genuinely and selflessly help.

You don’t need to pay me, hire me, have my consultation, ask my permission, or anyone else’s for that matter. You don’t even need a domain name for now if you don’t have one — Just ask Seth. In the words of Steve Jobs, “Design is not just what it looks like and feels like. Design is how it works.”

Are you willing to do the work? Do you, or do you not, want to help people?

You need to stop stalling, get out there, and have a willingness and desire to create something that helps people right now — Today.

I hope this helped. I really do.

Here’s a little secret I’m going to tell you… It’s simple because I don’t have the skills to do more than that. I’m a writer, not a designer. I use this weakness to my advantage. ↩

I like black, grey, and red as a color combination. It’s not a strategy, it’s a preference. ↩

Some Things I’ve Been Up To…

I’ve been a bit busy and all over the place lately. Thought I would do a quick post to share few things I have been up to lately:

Since my own long lived podcast came to an end, I have been missing having a place in that medium. Therefore, I’m always happy when someone asks me to be a guest on theirs. So, when Levi Weinhagen approached me to be a guest on his Pratfalls of Parenting podcast I jumped at the chance. I had hoped to talk a lot more about parenting but, instead, we discussed many of my thoughts about the intersections of humanity and technology and finding a balance there. It still turned out really well.

Mike Dariano asked me to contribute to his Three Things To Read, Watch, and Use series at 27goodthings.com. I’m still trying to figure out how 9 adds up to 27. I’m bad at math. It doesn’t matter. You should still check out what I had to recommend anyway. It was a lot of fun to do.

Oh, I also have started a new project about my obsession with analog writing tools (pens, paper, typewriters, etc.). As I was describing it to a friend, I said, “Think MinimalMac… But with pencils and paper…. Except the opposite of minimal. ” It’s called — The Cramped

A Brief Review — Choose Yourself by James Altucher

Choose Yourself, the latest book by James Altucher is a straight forward kick in the pants to anyone who needs it. It makes a very strong case for what many of us already know (and many others suspect) — that everything we used to rely on for safety (College, Employment, Retirement, etc) no longer can be relied on. No longer can we wait for someone to hire us, invest in us, or pick us. Now is the time we must choose ourselves and, thus, control our own destiny.

He makes his case using straight talk and a no-nonsense style. To do so, he uses facts, reason, numerous case studies, and his own personal failures and successes. But, I think even more important is that this is the first book of this type I have read that stresses personal health and well being as essential tools for choosing oneself. Things like proper sleep, a healthy diet, and daily exercise are requirements for doing your best work. Choosing yourself begins with making these sorts of investments in ones overall well being.

As someone who has “chosen himself” already, I’m often asked by those interested in doing so for books, resources, and my own writings on the subject that I recommend. I can confidently say that this book will now be at the top of that list. Mainly because the author pulls no punches about the whats, hows, and whys of what he believes we all should do. He gets to the point fast and never couches or waivers from it. In fact, he believes so strongly in the ideas he is expressing that he will gladly give you your money back. He just wants to get this message out to as many people as possible.

Do yourself a favor and choose to get it for yourself. What do you have to lose? Especially those who have lost so much already.

P.S. I just noticed that, as I write this, the Kindle version is only $.99 cents but is available on loan for free to Amazon Prime members via the Kindle Lending Library program.

DFQ

The hardest part? Signing up. — GORUCK Challenge Event Overview

I’m signed up for another GORUCK Challenge event this year — June 20th in Minneapolis. This will be my second. My friend Rodney was interested in doing his first and, for motivation, I said I would be happy to be a part of his team. He was nice enough to let me use his buddy pass to get in for free. Last week, we went on a good training ruck together. I’m looking forward to doing it again. It will be fun. That is, if anyone can call this brand of self-punishment fun.

Now that I have one under my belt, have shadowed several others, and have gotten others to commit to the crazy, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about that quote above. If you see the videos, read the after action reports of past participants, or even have done a GORUCK event yourself, you know that the statement above is true. Once you commit and show up, to finish a Challenge is easy.

Easy? Sure. I mean, it will likely be one of the the hardest physical tests you will ever put yourself through. Your inner-individual will be broken down to the point where it can be rebuilt to be part of your team. You will wonder every minute or two why the heck you ever signed up in the first place. That is, until you are so exhausted that your thinking just turns off and the strength to feel any emotion is lost (this happens about an hour in). And, when the sun comes up after a long night and you think it is almost over, you know that hope is simply a tool to make it sting more when you realize you’re only about half-way to whatever you think “over” means.

But, when you do finish, it will be one of the best feelings you can imagine. You got to push yourself beyond every physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual limit you thought you had. You are now a new version of you. A better version. One that just did that. Something that most people would never in a million years sign up and pay for. But you did. And, once you did, the rest was easy because all you had to do to finish was one simple thing.

So, the next time someone asks me about why I’m crazy enough to do another one of these, I’ll tell them what I know now. Signing up is the hardest part, finishing is easy — just don’t fucking quit.

P.S. The real take-away is that this same philosophy applies to finishing anything one starts.