Sherry Ellis's Blog, page 90
February 6, 2013
Preserved by Ice Cream
Last night after dinner, I scooped some ice cream into a bowl and sat down to eat it.
"Mom," my eleven-year-old daughter said. "You're the only person on the planet who can eat ice cream every day and not get fat."
My husband added his two cents. "Yeah, and she could probably eat a whole pie and cake everyday and not gain a single pound."
I shook my head and laughed. "No. If I ate cookies, cake, and pie every day, I'd be a five hundred pound blimp. I can only do it with ice cream."
"How come, Mama?" my eight-year-old son asked.
"Because I'm an ice cream vampire."
His eyes got real big. "You are?"
"Yep. Don't I look like a vampire?"
"Yeah, Mom," my daughter said. "With your pale skin and dark hair you totally look like a vampire!"
"Do you drink blood?" asked my son, totally believing it.
"No. I eat ice cream. It keeps me cold and preserves my youthful appearance."
So now you know the secret to staying young: Eat ice cream every day!
Before I go, several of you have asked me to post a recording of myself playing the viola. A few days ago, I recorded the Preludio from Bach's Partita No. 3 for solo viola. I'm teaching it to a couple of my students, so I did it for them. Anyway, if you'd like to listen, go here.
"Mom," my eleven-year-old daughter said. "You're the only person on the planet who can eat ice cream every day and not get fat."
My husband added his two cents. "Yeah, and she could probably eat a whole pie and cake everyday and not gain a single pound."
I shook my head and laughed. "No. If I ate cookies, cake, and pie every day, I'd be a five hundred pound blimp. I can only do it with ice cream."
"How come, Mama?" my eight-year-old son asked.
"Because I'm an ice cream vampire."
His eyes got real big. "You are?"
"Yep. Don't I look like a vampire?"
"Yeah, Mom," my daughter said. "With your pale skin and dark hair you totally look like a vampire!"
"Do you drink blood?" asked my son, totally believing it.
"No. I eat ice cream. It keeps me cold and preserves my youthful appearance."
So now you know the secret to staying young: Eat ice cream every day!
Before I go, several of you have asked me to post a recording of myself playing the viola. A few days ago, I recorded the Preludio from Bach's Partita No. 3 for solo viola. I'm teaching it to a couple of my students, so I did it for them. Anyway, if you'd like to listen, go here.
February 5, 2013
How to Publish and Promote Your Book
One of my blogger buddies, L. Diane Wolfe, AKA Spunk on a Stick, has a new book that has just been released, today. I'm helping her get the word out. How to Publish and Promote Your Book Now! is a perfect book for writers! Here's all the info on it. Please check it out! HOW TO PUBLISH AND PROMOTE YOUR BOOK NOW!
By L. Diane Wolfe
Publishing and promoting made simple!
Have you always dreamed of publishing a book but didn’t know where to begin? This book walks you through the steps of identifying markets, budgeting, building an online presence, and generating publicity. Get the whole story on:
· Traditional publishing
· Self-publishing
· Print and e-book setup, formatting, and distribution
· Finding your target audience
· Generating reviews and media interest
· Networking and developing an online presence
· Promotional materials and appearances
Uncover your ideal publishing path and numerous marketing options before you begin. Writing is your dream. Give it the best chance for success!
Available February 5, 2012
Publishing/Marketing, 214 pages, Dancing Lemur Press LLC
$14.95 Trade paperback ISBN 978-0-9827139-5-2
$4.99 Ebook ISBN 978-0-9827139-9-0
Barnes and Noble - http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-publish-and-promote-your-book-now-l-diane-wolfe/1113516811
Amazon - http://www.amazon.com/How-Publish-Promote-Your-Book/dp/0982713959/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1359139094&sr=1-1&keywords=9780982713952
Amazon Kindle - http://www.amazon.com/Publish-Promote-Your-Book-ebook/dp/B00B8X5WEM/ref=sr_1_8?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1359715649&sr=1-8
“She gives an unbiased take on the advantages and disadvantages of traditional publishing and self-publishing and publishing paths that combine the two… It's the perfect book for those who want an overview to begin the decision-making process.”
- Carolyn Howard-Johnson, author of the multi award-winning series of how-to books for writers http://howtodoitfrugally.com/
“A must-read for writers planning on self-publishing or any writer who wants the ultimate how-to on promoting. Tons of links, advice, and how-to, whether you're going for print or e-publication.”
- Helen Ginger, author of Angel Sometimes http://helenginger.com/
L. Diane Wolfe's sites:
Blog - Spunk On A Stick’s Tips - http://circleoffriendsbooks.blogspot.com/
Website - Spunk On A Stick - http://www.spunkonastick.net/
Twitter - https://twitter.com/SpunkOnAStick
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/l.diane.wolfe
Short Bio-
Known as “Spunk On A Stick,” Wolfe is a member of the National Speakers Association and a motivational speaker. She’s conducted seminars on book publishing and promoting for five years and assisted writers through several author services. Her other titles include “Overcoming Obstacles With SPUNK!” which ties her goal-setting and leadership seminar’s information together, and a YA series, “The Circle of Friends.”Wolfe travels extensively for media interviews and speaking engagements, maintains a dozen websites & blogs, and contributes to several other sites and newsletters.
Best of luck with your new book, Spunk On A Stick!
February 4, 2013
Sticks
Last night, when the power went out at the Superbowl, my kids got a little ansty waiting for the game to resume. Bubba put a sleeping bag over his head and bounced around the room.
"Bubba," I said. "Take that thing off of your head, or you're going to bump into something and hurt yourself."
"I'll take it off, only if you play a game of sticks with me."
I had no idea what that was, but I agreed to do it.
"Stick out your fingers like this," he said. He pointed two index fingers at me.
I did as he demonstrated.
"Now tap my two fingers."
Huh? I was confused, but I tapped his fingers.
"Now put up three fingers."
"Why do I have to put up three fingers?" I asked.
"Because you're supposed to."
"You're out!" he announced.
"Wait a minute," I said. "I have no idea what just happened, but this game makes no sense!"
My daughter jumped into the scene. "Watch, Mom."
She and my son played a game of sticks. I watched as they stuck their fingers out and tapped each others hands. "Do you get it?" she asked when they were done.
"Um, no." I said.
"Mom, you're so slow!"
Great. Not only am I old (see previous post), but now I'm stupid. Oy!
"Bubba," I said. "Take that thing off of your head, or you're going to bump into something and hurt yourself."
"I'll take it off, only if you play a game of sticks with me."
I had no idea what that was, but I agreed to do it.
"Stick out your fingers like this," he said. He pointed two index fingers at me.
I did as he demonstrated.
"Now tap my two fingers."
Huh? I was confused, but I tapped his fingers.
"Now put up three fingers."
"Why do I have to put up three fingers?" I asked.
"Because you're supposed to."
"You're out!" he announced.
"Wait a minute," I said. "I have no idea what just happened, but this game makes no sense!"
My daughter jumped into the scene. "Watch, Mom."
She and my son played a game of sticks. I watched as they stuck their fingers out and tapped each others hands. "Do you get it?" she asked when they were done.
"Um, no." I said.
"Mom, you're so slow!"
Great. Not only am I old (see previous post), but now I'm stupid. Oy!
February 2, 2013
Officially Old
My eleven year old daughter has been growing a lot. (She's only one inch shorter than me now, which means she'll soon pass me.) With growth spurts, comes the need to buy new clothes. I've been going nuts trying to keep up. Believe me, with a girl, it's hard to find things that both fit and are fashionable. (Boys are much easier!)
My mother-in-law decided to help. Unfortunately, she lives quite a distance away, so she couldn't bring my daughter to find the clothes. The only option was to choose some she thought would work, and then mail them.
Today the box arrived at the doorstep. My daughter opened it. Immediately she stuck her nose up at everything that was inside. "Mom, these are old people clothes."
"What?" I said. I pulled out several sweaters and tops. "These are really nice!"
"They're things old people would wear to orchestra concerts."
I looked at that girl. "Hey, I think they're quite fashionable. I'd wear them."
"Yeah, Mom. That's because you're old!"
My mother-in-law decided to help. Unfortunately, she lives quite a distance away, so she couldn't bring my daughter to find the clothes. The only option was to choose some she thought would work, and then mail them.
Today the box arrived at the doorstep. My daughter opened it. Immediately she stuck her nose up at everything that was inside. "Mom, these are old people clothes."
"What?" I said. I pulled out several sweaters and tops. "These are really nice!"
"They're things old people would wear to orchestra concerts."
I looked at that girl. "Hey, I think they're quite fashionable. I'd wear them."
"Yeah, Mom. That's because you're old!"
February 1, 2013
What Conference?
I believe I am developing a severe case of Alzheimers. Either that or my brain has tripped out to some tropical location and left me here alone, floundering in the cold.
At approximately 4:15 yesterday, my son snuck up behind me while I was brushing my teeth. He tapped me on the shoulder. "Mama," he said. "Aren't we supposed to go to parent teacher conferences today?"
I nearly gagged on my toothpaste. Oh, shoot. Another mama messup! Yes, we did indeed have a conference to attend - at 3:30. I missed that on my calendar because I had already flipped to February. Silly me!
"Sorry, buddy," I said. "I'll have to call your teacher and see if we can reschedule. I have to teach in fifteen minutes."
"But Mama, we have to go!"
"But..."
The kid wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. He dragged me to the school, where the teacher was in conference with another parent. I stood there, waiting, watching the clock, praying she'd finish in time for me to talk to her and get back home to teach.
Finally, she came out. She was surprised to see me, but very understanding. (It's good when a teacher is a parent, too!) We rescheduled and I rushed home, where my violin student was standing at my front door, probably wondering where the heck I was.
Yeah, I know. I'm a seriously messed up Mama. Maybe I should start tying strings around my fingers. But then I'd probably forget why I had strings on my fingers. And then they'd probably get tangled playing the violin and piano. I'm guess I'm doomed!
At approximately 4:15 yesterday, my son snuck up behind me while I was brushing my teeth. He tapped me on the shoulder. "Mama," he said. "Aren't we supposed to go to parent teacher conferences today?"
I nearly gagged on my toothpaste. Oh, shoot. Another mama messup! Yes, we did indeed have a conference to attend - at 3:30. I missed that on my calendar because I had already flipped to February. Silly me!
"Sorry, buddy," I said. "I'll have to call your teacher and see if we can reschedule. I have to teach in fifteen minutes."
"But Mama, we have to go!"
"But..."
The kid wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. He dragged me to the school, where the teacher was in conference with another parent. I stood there, waiting, watching the clock, praying she'd finish in time for me to talk to her and get back home to teach.
Finally, she came out. She was surprised to see me, but very understanding. (It's good when a teacher is a parent, too!) We rescheduled and I rushed home, where my violin student was standing at my front door, probably wondering where the heck I was.
Yeah, I know. I'm a seriously messed up Mama. Maybe I should start tying strings around my fingers. But then I'd probably forget why I had strings on my fingers. And then they'd probably get tangled playing the violin and piano. I'm guess I'm doomed!
January 31, 2013
The Pitch Contest
My daughter got off the school bus and hopped into my car. "Mom, guess what?"
"What?" I asked.
"We had a pitch contest in school, today."
"A pitch contest?" I imagined the class writing query letters to agents, trying to convince them to represent their manuscripts. That wasn't it.
"Yeah. We're learning about sound waves in school, so we had a contest to see who could produce the biggest sound waves. We had to scream as loud as we could. Like this." My daughter let out an ear-piercing scream.
"Oh my gosh!" I said, quickly covering my ears. "Did you have to do that in the car?"
She grinned.
My son thought that was hilarious. So guess what he did? He screamed.
Then they both screamed at the same time.
"ENOUGH!!!" I bellowed.
It got quiet.
"Wow, Mom," my daughter said. "I think you just won the pitch contest!"
"What?" I asked.
"We had a pitch contest in school, today."
"A pitch contest?" I imagined the class writing query letters to agents, trying to convince them to represent their manuscripts. That wasn't it.
"Yeah. We're learning about sound waves in school, so we had a contest to see who could produce the biggest sound waves. We had to scream as loud as we could. Like this." My daughter let out an ear-piercing scream.
"Oh my gosh!" I said, quickly covering my ears. "Did you have to do that in the car?"
She grinned.
My son thought that was hilarious. So guess what he did? He screamed.
Then they both screamed at the same time.
"ENOUGH!!!" I bellowed.
It got quiet.
"Wow, Mom," my daughter said. "I think you just won the pitch contest!"
January 30, 2013
Abe Lincoln Costume
My son, who's in the second grade, has a school project: write a report on a famous person and then present it to the class. But here's the catch - he has to dress up like the person, and he has to do it this week. Not a lot of time to come up with a costume!
"Who did you pick?" I asked after he announced this little assignment.
"Abraham Lincoln."
Well, at least he was somebody we could find a lot of information about, and the costume shouldn't be too tough to handle - a suit, a top hat, and a beard. I started scrounging around the house to see what I could come up with. I found a suit, a sparkly gold top hat, brown felt, and black spray paint.
"Okay, Bubba," I said. "Here's the plan: You'll wear this suit. I'll make a beard with this felt, and you can tape it to your face. Then I'll spray paint this hat, and that'll be your top hat."
He looked at me like I was nuts. "Mama, I am not taping one of your felt creations to my face! And you had better not do anything with that gold hat! It's my special hat!"
"Okay," I said. "What if I just cover the the gold with black foamy stuff that can be removed?"
"Mama!"
"What?"
"Just go to the costume store and buy a top hat and beard."
The kid obviously has no confidence in my creative abilities!
"Who did you pick?" I asked after he announced this little assignment.
"Abraham Lincoln."
Well, at least he was somebody we could find a lot of information about, and the costume shouldn't be too tough to handle - a suit, a top hat, and a beard. I started scrounging around the house to see what I could come up with. I found a suit, a sparkly gold top hat, brown felt, and black spray paint.
"Okay, Bubba," I said. "Here's the plan: You'll wear this suit. I'll make a beard with this felt, and you can tape it to your face. Then I'll spray paint this hat, and that'll be your top hat."
He looked at me like I was nuts. "Mama, I am not taping one of your felt creations to my face! And you had better not do anything with that gold hat! It's my special hat!"
"Okay," I said. "What if I just cover the the gold with black foamy stuff that can be removed?"
"Mama!"
"What?"
"Just go to the costume store and buy a top hat and beard."
The kid obviously has no confidence in my creative abilities!
January 29, 2013
The Meatloaf War
My husband decided that he wanted to cook dinner. "I'm making meatloaf," he announced.
That was fine with me, because you all know how much I love cooking!
A short while later, we all sat down and began eating. "This is the best meatloaf I've ever had," said my husband. "Even better than Mama's meatloaf!"
"Hey, wait a minute," I said. "I make a pretty darn good meatloaf!"
"Yeah, right," he said. "A slab of meat with a little ketsup drizzled on it?"
"Excuse me?" The man was starting to push my buttons.
"I know how to make meatloaf," my husband continued. "I used two types of meat."
"I use three," I rebuttled.
"And I put peppers and onions in the meat, too."
My son, Bubba, spoke up. "But Dad, I don't like peppers!"
I grinned. "I put in onions, and a lot of seasonings."
Then my daughter commented. "Mom's has a lot of flavor," she said.
"Mine is still better," insisted my husband. "Isn't it?" He gave my kids the look telling them they had better agree.
They looked at each other.
"Tie!" they announced.
Aren't they just so diplomatic?
That was fine with me, because you all know how much I love cooking!
A short while later, we all sat down and began eating. "This is the best meatloaf I've ever had," said my husband. "Even better than Mama's meatloaf!"
"Hey, wait a minute," I said. "I make a pretty darn good meatloaf!"
"Yeah, right," he said. "A slab of meat with a little ketsup drizzled on it?"
"Excuse me?" The man was starting to push my buttons.
"I know how to make meatloaf," my husband continued. "I used two types of meat."
"I use three," I rebuttled.
"And I put peppers and onions in the meat, too."
My son, Bubba, spoke up. "But Dad, I don't like peppers!"
I grinned. "I put in onions, and a lot of seasonings."
Then my daughter commented. "Mom's has a lot of flavor," she said.
"Mine is still better," insisted my husband. "Isn't it?" He gave my kids the look telling them they had better agree.
They looked at each other.
"Tie!" they announced.
Aren't they just so diplomatic?
January 28, 2013
Please Allow Me to Re-Introduce Myself
[image error] This is totally last minute. I was just perusing the blogosphere, when I saw this neat little blog hop going on. One of the hosts is Stephen Tremp. If you want to participate, go see him and sign up.
So, for those of you who don't know me, let me introduce myself with this official bio from my webpage:
Official Bio
Sherry Ellis is a freelance writer and children's author. Her book, That Mama is a Grouch, was honored as a finalist in the Parenting/Family category of the 2010 USA Book News Awards and as a finalist in the Parenting/General category of the 2011 International Book Awards. It was also awarded first place in the Parenting category of the 2011 Pinnacle Book Awards.
Sherry is also a professional musician who plays and teaches violin, viola, and piano. She has appeared as a soloist in Germany, and was a semi-finalist in the 2004 International Viola Competition held in Paris, France.
Sherry is a lifetime member of Cambridge Who's Who and was honored as a 2010 VIP of the year. In 2012, she was honored as a Woman of the Year by the American Biographical Institute for her contributions in the field of music education.
Blah, blah, blah. Now for the interesting stuff: I'm a mom, of course. I have two lovely kids and 26 pets. (Don't ask!) I like SCUBA diving (I was a PADI Scuba instructor in my past life AKA before kids), I enjoy hiking, biking, travelling, gardening, writing, and playing and teaching my instruments. I used to do arts and crafty things, too, like scrapbooking and crossstitching, but honestly, I just don't have time to do that stuff anymore.
What about you? Who are you, and what do you like?
January 27, 2013
A Cow in Toilet Land
My son, Bubba, was on a roll today. He was spinning all kinds of stories. Here's one that came out of the anals of his mind: (Caution: If you don't like potty talk, you may want to skip this post and come back tomorrow!)
There was once a cow who got flushed down the toilet. (Insert sound effects here!)
He found himself in Toilet Land. There, the trees were made of turds. The houses were made of turds. Even the beds were made of turds. (Except for Bubba's which was made of fabric.)
One day, a giant poopsteroid from outer space crashed into Toilet Land. It left a giant trail of turds.
Not to worry, though, because an alien spaceship arrived with a giant toilet. The aliens scooped up the turds and flushed them down the toilet. Except the toilet got blocked.
Fortunately, there was another alien spaceship in the area. This one had a giant plunger. The aliens plunged the toilet, and all the turds went down.
The End.
Hmmm. What do you think? I'm personally wondering what happened to the cow. Did it get flushed down the toilet, or is it happily living its life in Toilet Land, producing chocolate milk? (Note: I'd advise not consuming anything that was produced in Toilet Land!)
There was once a cow who got flushed down the toilet. (Insert sound effects here!)
He found himself in Toilet Land. There, the trees were made of turds. The houses were made of turds. Even the beds were made of turds. (Except for Bubba's which was made of fabric.)
One day, a giant poopsteroid from outer space crashed into Toilet Land. It left a giant trail of turds.
Not to worry, though, because an alien spaceship arrived with a giant toilet. The aliens scooped up the turds and flushed them down the toilet. Except the toilet got blocked.
Fortunately, there was another alien spaceship in the area. This one had a giant plunger. The aliens plunged the toilet, and all the turds went down.
The End.
Hmmm. What do you think? I'm personally wondering what happened to the cow. Did it get flushed down the toilet, or is it happily living its life in Toilet Land, producing chocolate milk? (Note: I'd advise not consuming anything that was produced in Toilet Land!)
