Sherry Ellis's Blog, page 89
February 18, 2013
Mister Picasso
Before I start my story, I'd just like to say that pizza is a good invention! The kids have been out of school since Friday, and they've had friends over for sleepovers and playdates almost every day. It's been a little chaotic!
Anyway, yesterday, I took my boy to the pottery store to do some painting. "What should I paint, Mama?" he asked.
"I don't know, Bubba. How about this frog?"
"No. I want something I can use."
"A cup?" I suggested.
He thought about it. "No. I think I'll paint a tea pot."
"A tea pot?" I asked. "What are you going to do with a tea pot?"
"Drink my tea out of it."
"Dude," I said. "Since when do you drink tea?"
"Since Christmas when Santa gave me some in my stocking."
Huh? I didn't recall Santa leaving any tea for anyone.
Nevertheless, I let him select a tea pot while I selected a couple of wine bottle stoppers to paint. We went to work.
A short while later, I looked at Bubba's tea pot. It was covered in pink paint with brown splotches dripping off the side. (He's colorblind, so I'm sure he thought the pink color was blue.)
"This is a nightmare!" he said.
Everyone cracked up who was sitting next to us.
"But I'm an artist," he said. "And this is part of my artistic expression!"
Anyway, yesterday, I took my boy to the pottery store to do some painting. "What should I paint, Mama?" he asked.
"I don't know, Bubba. How about this frog?"
"No. I want something I can use."
"A cup?" I suggested.
He thought about it. "No. I think I'll paint a tea pot."
"A tea pot?" I asked. "What are you going to do with a tea pot?"
"Drink my tea out of it."
"Dude," I said. "Since when do you drink tea?"
"Since Christmas when Santa gave me some in my stocking."
Huh? I didn't recall Santa leaving any tea for anyone.
Nevertheless, I let him select a tea pot while I selected a couple of wine bottle stoppers to paint. We went to work.
A short while later, I looked at Bubba's tea pot. It was covered in pink paint with brown splotches dripping off the side. (He's colorblind, so I'm sure he thought the pink color was blue.)
"This is a nightmare!" he said.
Everyone cracked up who was sitting next to us.
"But I'm an artist," he said. "And this is part of my artistic expression!"
February 16, 2013
Neglectful Mama
"Woman!" my husband yelled. "We have no food in this house!"
I looked at that guy. "We have food. Look. Cereal, soup, fruit, milk, cookies, chocolate, and ice cream."
He looked at me. "Maybe you can live on a diet of cereal and ice cream, but I need meat! Stop your blogging and go to the store. You are neglecting us!"
"Okay, wait a minute," I said. "First of all, I'm not just blogging. I'm writing a book, and I'm on the last chapter. I want to finish it. Second, aren't you a guy? Guys are supposed to be hunters. If you want meat, go hunt for some!"
He didn't like that. "You don't care if we starve! We're going to die, and you're just going to keep blogging."
I walked over to the cupboard and pulled out the box of cereal. I shook it. It was half full. "Okay," I said. "I'll go to the store, but only because we need more cereal!"
I looked at that guy. "We have food. Look. Cereal, soup, fruit, milk, cookies, chocolate, and ice cream."
He looked at me. "Maybe you can live on a diet of cereal and ice cream, but I need meat! Stop your blogging and go to the store. You are neglecting us!"
"Okay, wait a minute," I said. "First of all, I'm not just blogging. I'm writing a book, and I'm on the last chapter. I want to finish it. Second, aren't you a guy? Guys are supposed to be hunters. If you want meat, go hunt for some!"
He didn't like that. "You don't care if we starve! We're going to die, and you're just going to keep blogging."
I walked over to the cupboard and pulled out the box of cereal. I shook it. It was half full. "Okay," I said. "I'll go to the store, but only because we need more cereal!"
February 15, 2013
Belly Button Research
My daughter had to do a presentation on sea turtles for school.
"Mom," she said. "Come and see my power point slide show."
I stood behind her and watched. It was really good. But on one of the screens, it said that turtles had belly buttons. "Are you sure about that?" I asked.
"Yeah, mom, look!" She pointed at a little spot on the underside of a baby sea turtle's shell.
"But sea turtles don't have umbilical cords like mammals," I said.
"Yes, they do," she retorted.
"You'd better do a little research on that," I said.
She googled, "Do turtles have belly buttons?"
The answer was, "no."
"See, I told you," I said.
She wouldn't take "no" for an answer. "Chickens have belly buttons!" She pulled up a screen of an embryo in an egg, and it looked like it was attached to the yolk via a belly button. "Turtles are the same!"
Long story short, after additional research we have concluded that turtles really do have belly buttons. Looks like Mama was wrong again. Apparently my daughter knows more than me!
[image error]
Turtle Belly Button!
"Mom," she said. "Come and see my power point slide show."
I stood behind her and watched. It was really good. But on one of the screens, it said that turtles had belly buttons. "Are you sure about that?" I asked.
"Yeah, mom, look!" She pointed at a little spot on the underside of a baby sea turtle's shell.
"But sea turtles don't have umbilical cords like mammals," I said.
"Yes, they do," she retorted.
"You'd better do a little research on that," I said.
She googled, "Do turtles have belly buttons?"
The answer was, "no."
"See, I told you," I said.
She wouldn't take "no" for an answer. "Chickens have belly buttons!" She pulled up a screen of an embryo in an egg, and it looked like it was attached to the yolk via a belly button. "Turtles are the same!"
Long story short, after additional research we have concluded that turtles really do have belly buttons. Looks like Mama was wrong again. Apparently my daughter knows more than me!
[image error]
Turtle Belly Button!
February 14, 2013
Feeling the Love
Happy Valentine's Day!
I just came back from my son's school Valentine party. I knew it was going to be crazy when I stepped out of my car and a bunch of kids on the playground yelled, "Hi, Mrs. Ellis!"
My job at the party was to help the kids make frames for their cute little Valentine pictures. They were supposed to decorate the frames with stickers. But they were more interested in decorating me. A bunch of little boys attached heart stickers to my nose, my forehead, and my cheeks.
"We love you, Mrs. Ellis!" they said.
Then there was my boy. He was like cling wrap. "Mama, I want to hug and kiss you!"
"Fine. One hug. One kiss," I said.
But that didn't seem to be enough.
"Can I come home with you?" he asked.
I guess he loves me!
Here's another funny story: My husband had given me a Valentine's Day card. It was really sweet. I set it down next to the flowers and went about my business.
My son picked it up and started reading. "Daddy says you're cute, and smart, and..."
He stopped with a big grin on his face. "I'm not allowed to say this word, but Daddy says you're the "S" word!"
I just came back from my son's school Valentine party. I knew it was going to be crazy when I stepped out of my car and a bunch of kids on the playground yelled, "Hi, Mrs. Ellis!"
My job at the party was to help the kids make frames for their cute little Valentine pictures. They were supposed to decorate the frames with stickers. But they were more interested in decorating me. A bunch of little boys attached heart stickers to my nose, my forehead, and my cheeks.
"We love you, Mrs. Ellis!" they said.
Then there was my boy. He was like cling wrap. "Mama, I want to hug and kiss you!"
"Fine. One hug. One kiss," I said.
But that didn't seem to be enough.
"Can I come home with you?" he asked.
I guess he loves me!
Here's another funny story: My husband had given me a Valentine's Day card. It was really sweet. I set it down next to the flowers and went about my business.
My son picked it up and started reading. "Daddy says you're cute, and smart, and..."
He stopped with a big grin on his face. "I'm not allowed to say this word, but Daddy says you're the "S" word!"
February 13, 2013
Schultz's New Trick
"Mom," my eleven-year-old daughter said. "We have to teach Schultz (our German Shepherd) how to drive a car."
"What?" I asked. I wondered where this came from.
"Schultz is almost 16 years old," she explained.
"He's two and a half," I said.
"Yeah, that's equivalent to 16 in human years. It's time for him to learn how to drive!"
I shook my head. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! He's a dog. And dogs don't drive cars!"
"Wrong, Mom! It's on Youtube!"
She dragged me to the computer and showed me a video:
Seriously? So now, I not only have to worry about teaching my kids to drive, I have to worry about teaching the dog! Oy!
"What?" I asked. I wondered where this came from.
"Schultz is almost 16 years old," she explained.
"He's two and a half," I said.
"Yeah, that's equivalent to 16 in human years. It's time for him to learn how to drive!"
I shook my head. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! He's a dog. And dogs don't drive cars!"
"Wrong, Mom! It's on Youtube!"
She dragged me to the computer and showed me a video:
Seriously? So now, I not only have to worry about teaching my kids to drive, I have to worry about teaching the dog! Oy!
February 12, 2013
The Wishing Well
Yesterday in Cincinnati, it was a balmy 60 degrees. (Sorry for all of you folks in the Northeast who got pounded by the snow!) The neighborhood kids were outside - in my backyard - with picks and shovels.
I looked out my window and watched them dig a hole in the middle of my yard while Schultz supervised. What the heck are those kids up to? I thought.
I had to find out.
"Excuse me," I said. "What are you guys doing?"
"Digging a hole," one of the kids answered.
Well, that was pretty obvious. "Okay," I said. "Let me rephrase this. Why are you digging a hole in the middle of my backyard?"
My daughter spoke up. "We were going to make a lake, but we figured that would be too big."
Um, yeah.
She continued. "So then we thought we'd make a creek, but the hill is kind of in the way."
Oh.
"We finally decided to make a wishing well so we could make some money for our fundraiser."
Well, that's just brilliant. So, ladies and gentlemen, if you'd like to stop by my pad and throw some coins in the new wishing well in the middle of my yard, please feel free to do so. I'm sure it would be greatly appreciated!
I looked out my window and watched them dig a hole in the middle of my yard while Schultz supervised. What the heck are those kids up to? I thought.
I had to find out.
"Excuse me," I said. "What are you guys doing?"
"Digging a hole," one of the kids answered.
Well, that was pretty obvious. "Okay," I said. "Let me rephrase this. Why are you digging a hole in the middle of my backyard?"
My daughter spoke up. "We were going to make a lake, but we figured that would be too big."
Um, yeah.
She continued. "So then we thought we'd make a creek, but the hill is kind of in the way."
Oh.
"We finally decided to make a wishing well so we could make some money for our fundraiser."
Well, that's just brilliant. So, ladies and gentlemen, if you'd like to stop by my pad and throw some coins in the new wishing well in the middle of my yard, please feel free to do so. I'm sure it would be greatly appreciated!
February 11, 2013
Train-eating Dog
My eight-year-old son wanted to play with his electric train set. "Mama, will you help me set it up?"
"Sure, Bubba."
We got the thing put together and ran the train. It went around and around and around. We were mesmerized by it. But then something happened. A certain 100 pound beast named Schultz, tore into the room. (He's our German Shepherd, in case you didn't know.) He skidded to a stop in front of the tracks.
"Don't even think about it, Schultz!" I said.
He lay down and watched the train go in circles. I thought he might actually behave.
I thought wrong. Two seconds later, he pounced - right on the train.
"Schultz!" I yelled.
And then do you know what he did? He grabbed that train in his big old mouth and took off.
"Drop it!" I hollared.
He did, but not before covering it with a nice coat of doggy slime!
"Sure, Bubba."
We got the thing put together and ran the train. It went around and around and around. We were mesmerized by it. But then something happened. A certain 100 pound beast named Schultz, tore into the room. (He's our German Shepherd, in case you didn't know.) He skidded to a stop in front of the tracks.
"Don't even think about it, Schultz!" I said.
He lay down and watched the train go in circles. I thought he might actually behave.
I thought wrong. Two seconds later, he pounced - right on the train.
"Schultz!" I yelled.
And then do you know what he did? He grabbed that train in his big old mouth and took off.
"Drop it!" I hollared.
He did, but not before covering it with a nice coat of doggy slime!
February 10, 2013
Bubba's Battleship
"Mama," my eight-year-old son said. "Will you play a game of Battleship with me?"
"Sure, Bubba," I said. "Go get the game."
He did, and we set it up. "Do you remember how to play?" I asked.
"Yep."
I gave him a quick reminder of how the game was played, just in case. And then we started playing.
He hit my ships several times, but I couldn't seem to find any of his. "Bubba, why am I not finding your ships? There aren't too many other places they can be!"
"You'll never find them, Mama!"
A few turns later, I finally had a hit. I called other locations after that, which resulted in hits. Then, suddenly, the ship "disappeared."
"Bubba," I said. "That ship should be sunk! Why are you saying it's not there when the grid locations say it should be there?"
"Mama, it dropped off the radar screen."
"What are you talking about?"
He turned his game board around so I could see it. And do you know what? All of his ships were on the upper board, where he was supposed to be keeping track of his calls to me.
"Bubba, that's not how to play the game! I'll never get your ships up there!"
"Mama," he said. "That's the point!"
"Sure, Bubba," I said. "Go get the game."
He did, and we set it up. "Do you remember how to play?" I asked.
"Yep."
I gave him a quick reminder of how the game was played, just in case. And then we started playing.
He hit my ships several times, but I couldn't seem to find any of his. "Bubba, why am I not finding your ships? There aren't too many other places they can be!"
"You'll never find them, Mama!"
A few turns later, I finally had a hit. I called other locations after that, which resulted in hits. Then, suddenly, the ship "disappeared."
"Bubba," I said. "That ship should be sunk! Why are you saying it's not there when the grid locations say it should be there?"
"Mama, it dropped off the radar screen."
"What are you talking about?"
He turned his game board around so I could see it. And do you know what? All of his ships were on the upper board, where he was supposed to be keeping track of his calls to me.
"Bubba, that's not how to play the game! I'll never get your ships up there!"
"Mama," he said. "That's the point!"
February 9, 2013
Mama's Date
Last night, I had a big date.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
I looked at the guy. His pants were two inches too short, his suit coat was buttoned wrong, and his tie was sticking out the bottom. "Bubba," I said. "We can't go to the red carpet ball with you looking like that!"
(Yes, my date was none other than my eight-year-old son, Bubba. He was taking me to the Mother-Son dance at the school.)
"But Mama," he said. "I don't have another suit."
"You don't?" I couldn't believe it. "What happened to the suit you wore a few months ago?"
"This is it!"
I sighed. Apparently the kid has done some growing.
I fixed his button job and told him to forget about the tie (which he greatly appreciated), and we headed off to the ball.
I needn't have worried about the suit, because after all of the break dancing on the floor, the running around, and the chocolate from the chocolate fountain, the suit was toast! But we had an absolutely marvelous time!
Before I go, I want to let you all know that Schultz, our enormous German Shepherd, is a guest over at Tracy Campbell's blog. (I think he's getting more popular than me!) If you'd like to see pictures and learn more about him, please stop by!
"Are you ready?" he asked.
I looked at the guy. His pants were two inches too short, his suit coat was buttoned wrong, and his tie was sticking out the bottom. "Bubba," I said. "We can't go to the red carpet ball with you looking like that!"
(Yes, my date was none other than my eight-year-old son, Bubba. He was taking me to the Mother-Son dance at the school.)
"But Mama," he said. "I don't have another suit."
"You don't?" I couldn't believe it. "What happened to the suit you wore a few months ago?"
"This is it!"
I sighed. Apparently the kid has done some growing.
I fixed his button job and told him to forget about the tie (which he greatly appreciated), and we headed off to the ball.
I needn't have worried about the suit, because after all of the break dancing on the floor, the running around, and the chocolate from the chocolate fountain, the suit was toast! But we had an absolutely marvelous time!
Before I go, I want to let you all know that Schultz, our enormous German Shepherd, is a guest over at Tracy Campbell's blog. (I think he's getting more popular than me!) If you'd like to see pictures and learn more about him, please stop by!
February 8, 2013
Abe on the Bus
Okay. I'm back. I was at a music educators conference for a couple of days, which meant my husband had to babysit the kids and creatures. (I think he did a good job, because everybody and everything is still alive.)
He told me a funny story though, that I have to share. Today was the day that my son presented his Abe Lincoln report to parents. (Yes, I'm bummed because I had to miss it!) My husband said Bubba got out of bed right away, dressed in his tight black suit, put on his Abe Lincoln beard, and donned a black top hat.
"You sent him to school like that?" I asked.
"Yeah, why not?" my husband said.
"Well, he was supposed to change at school, not run around all day dressed as Abraham Lincoln!"
"Oh," my husband said. "But he looked so cute, I didn't have the heart to tell him to change. You should've seen him on the bus. He was a mini-Abe grinning from ear to ear, looking out the window."
I'm sure it was quite a sight - a boy with a beard! Let's just hope that Bubba's not going to want to go to school in his Luigi Halloween costume!
He told me a funny story though, that I have to share. Today was the day that my son presented his Abe Lincoln report to parents. (Yes, I'm bummed because I had to miss it!) My husband said Bubba got out of bed right away, dressed in his tight black suit, put on his Abe Lincoln beard, and donned a black top hat.
"You sent him to school like that?" I asked.
"Yeah, why not?" my husband said.
"Well, he was supposed to change at school, not run around all day dressed as Abraham Lincoln!"
"Oh," my husband said. "But he looked so cute, I didn't have the heart to tell him to change. You should've seen him on the bus. He was a mini-Abe grinning from ear to ear, looking out the window."
I'm sure it was quite a sight - a boy with a beard! Let's just hope that Bubba's not going to want to go to school in his Luigi Halloween costume!
