Sherry Ellis's Blog, page 57

Restroom, please?

My husband and son went to a store called H Mart.  It's a place that sells Asian cuisine.  If you've been following me a while, you may recall that it was the place we had our octopus balls adventure.  Anyway, nobody speaks English there, and all the signs are written in some kind of Asian language.

During this trip to H Mart, my husband decided that he needed to use the restroom.  He went to one of the workers and asked where the restroom was.  The worker led him down some aisles, over to the produce section . . .  right where the mushrooms were.   "Restrooms," he said with a smile on his face.

Bubba cracked up.  "Yeah, Daddy.  They look a little like what you might find in a restroom.  Maybe you should just do your business here!"

Five Second Rule

Yesterday, as my husband opened the refrigerator, the key lime pie that was inside, fell out. It flipped out of the pie dish and splattered on the floor.

"Bushwhacked!" he hollered.

"I guess you won't be eating key lime pie," I said, looking at the mess.

"Bologna!" he said.  "I'm eating it anyway. Five second rule."

He scooped up the pie, put it back in the dish, and grabbed a fork.  And do you know what he did?  He ate almost the whole thing!

Oy gewalt!

Schultz and the Spider

For those of you who don't know Schultz, he is our hundred-pound German Shepherd.  And he likes to cause trouble.  Yesterday's trouble involved a spider.

I was typing at the computer, when I noticed the beast lying on the ground looking very alert.  His satellite ears were straight up, and he was staring at something in front of him, between his paws.  I had to investigate.

What I found was an itsy bitsy spider, all curled up.  It appeared to be rather distressed.

"Schultz, leave the spider alone!" I said.

But Schultz didn't want to leave the spider alone.  He wanted to give it a good sniff.

For a minute, I thought the spider was dead.  But then its legs moved.  It looked like it was trying to curl itself into a tighter ball.

I knew I had to get the beast out of there.  "Come, Schultz!"

Schultz came, but not before having a little spider snack.  He cleaned the itsy bitsy spider right off the floor with his big pink tongue.

So much for the itsy bitsy spider!

 

The Obstacle Course

When I walked into the living room yesterday, I found piles of pillows stacked in random places.  I knew my son was behind this.  Sure enough, I caught the boy bringing a few more pillows to add to the collection.

"Bubba," I asked.  "What exactly are you doing?"

"Making an obstacle course for you."

"For me?  Why do I need an obstacle course?"

"Because it's good exercise."  He put the finishing touches on the course and stood back to inspect his work.  "Okay, Mama.  Go ahead."

I scanned the array of pillow piles and wondered exactly how I should approach this.  Weave in and out?  Jump on top?  Jump over?  I opted for the weave in and out.  Which was apparently wrong.

"No, Mama.  You have to jump over them!"

I sighed.  "Dude.  Some of those pillow piles are almost as tall as me.  I can't jump over those!"

"Sure you can.  Watch and learn!"  The boy took a flying leap and knocked over the entire pile.  "See?" he said after picking himself up.  That's how you do it."  He replaced the pile of eight pillows.  "Now you do it."

I made a face at that kid and took a flying leap. I almost made it over the pile.  Almost.   My foot caught the top pillow and knocked the rest of them down.

Bubba grinned.  "That's okay, Mama.  Practice makes perfect!"

(Nobody ever told me doing obstacle courses was part of the mom job!)

Shaving Cream Clouds

After my son got done with his bath last night, I noticed an unusual, but slightly familiar smell.  I wondered what it could be.  I went into the bathroom to investigate.  What I found was most interesting.  Globs of white, foamy stuff covered the sink, the counters, and the bathtub.  An empty can of shaving cream was on the floor - telltale evidence identifying the strange white foam.

"Bubba," I called.  "Come here."

He came.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Shaving cream clouds," he answered.

"Yes.  Shaving cream clouds," I repeated. "Why exactly would you use an entire can of shaving cream to decorate the bathroom this way?"

"Because having a bath in the clouds is fun!"

Of course.

My Writing Process

I was tagged by Stephanie Faris.  Now that I have this badge with the glowing green light sabers, I have to explain my writing process.  So here goes.

What am I working on now?  Well, let's see.  All kinds of stuff, since I can never seem to manage one project at a time.  Too boring!  I'm still working on my Bubba and Squirt series for young readers.  For those of you who haven't heard about it, the concept is that the protagonists, Bubba and Squirt, travel through a vortex that goes through the Earth.  They arrive in different countries, have adventures, and learn about the language, culture and history of the country.  My agent is trying to find a publisher.  I'm working on the first draft of book seven in the series, and also revising book three.  I have a couple of picture books I'm working on, too.  A new one, Ten Zany Birds,  will be out later this year.  It's being illustrated right now.

How does my writing process work?    It rolls however it rolls.  Here's the normal process:  I have an idea that may be brilliant.  Or not.  I write it down and think about it for a few days.  If it sounds like a good idea after a few days, I start figuring out the plot.  I'm a plotter.  I can't randomly do the pantser thing.  (Not plot, for those unfamiliar with writer jargon.)  Every time I try to be random, I get sidetracked and don't finish the thing.  I come up with an outline, chapter by chapter, after doing a serious amount of research. (Obviously, this is for chapter books.)  I figure out the characters, their personalities, and obstacles that must be overcome.  Then I write.  I actually have a notebook, and I use an old-fashioned pencil.  It's crazy, but doing it this way, helps me see if the flow is good, and make multiple revisions before I enter it into the computer.  I work chapter by chapter until the manuscript is finished.  After that, I let it sit before I begin the revision process, which could mean rewriting it a hundred times until it's right.  I wish I could say I have a set writing time.  I don't.  Sometimes I write at night.  Sometimes I write at the dance studio or Krav studio while I wait for my children to finish with their classes.  Once in a while, I find time during the day.  It's all rather random.

Why do I write what I do?  Because I'm crazy, and I hear voices in my head.  What?  You don't believe me?  Seriously, though, I'm a kid at heart, and I just like children's books.  I like picture books, I like chapter books and I like middle grade readers.  I don't know if I'll ever write for adults.  It's too much fun thinking like a kid.


Here are a few others I'm tagging for the saber sword badge:  Christine Rains, Medeia Sharif and C. Lee McKenzie.  They're all great writers, and it would probably be fun to hear about their writing process.

Before I go, I'd like to let you  know that ePublishing eXperts put out a little blurb about my book, That Mama is a Grouch, on their blog.  It's going to be turned into an animated ebook.  I'll let you know when that happens.    

Top Ten Reasons Why Mama is Loved

My son surprised me this morning with a very cute book he made especially for Mother's Day.  In it were the "Top 10 Reasons I Love Mom."  Here they are:

10.  She makes embarrassing mistakes.

9. She is funny.

8. She is smart.

7. She never burps.

6. She never farts.

5. She is smarter than almost everyone.

4. She is special.

3. She is cool.

2. She is a good chef.

And the #1 reason I love mom is....

1.  She is sweet.



Hope all you moms out there have a wonderful Mother's Day!




  

Mama's Cake Pop Shop

I love school projects.  Especially ones where Mama has to do a lot of the work. Which is pretty much how all of them are.  Last night's great project was making cake pops for my daughter's Market Day, which was today.  I made the cake, crumbled it up, added frosting, and then rolled the mixture up into cute little golf-ball sized concoctions.  Then I put them in the refrigerator for four hours.  They were ready to go when I came back from my son's Krav class.

"Come on, girlfriend," I called to my daughter. "It's time to finish these cake pops."

She wandered down the stairs.  "What do I do?"

"How about read the directions and figure out how to melt the chocolate."

"Okay," she said, and went to work.  Two minutes later, she looked at the melted chocolate that she had pulled out of the microwave.  "Mom.  What's wrong with this?"

I looked at it. It was a sticky mess.  "I'd guess it was nuked a little long."

"Mom, I can't do this!" She complained. "Can you do it?"

I agreed to do one batch and show her how it was done, but she had to do the rest.  Which she did.

Then she had this brilliant idea to make them look like the French flag.  This wasn't easy, because almost half of the cake pops fell off the stick as they were dipped into the chocolate. She had to dip those things three times - in blue, white, and red chocolate.  To her credit, she did this herself.

Then it was time to package them.  "Mom," my daughter said, after trying to do it herself.  "I'm going to break these things.  Can you do it?"

So at 10:30 at night, I was painstakingly packaging cake pops.  When I was done, I asked my daughter how she planned to transport them to school.

"I don't know," she said.  "Do you have anything?"

I looked around and spied the cat litter box.  Fortunately, it wasn't in use.  So I cleaned it up and used it as a cake pop transporter.  My daughter was not exactly thrilled about transporting her cake pop project in a kitty liter box.  But hey, this is how I roll at Mama's Cake Pop Shop. Only the best!

Don't Wake the Cat!

Schultz is on a roll.  If you're new here, Schultz is our hundred pound German Shepherd.  And this week, he's been bad to the bone!  Today's episode involves the cat.

Bootsy (the cat) was lying on the back deck, sound asleep.  What did Schultz do?  He went up to the cat, very quietly, and stood over him.  The cat was somehow unaware that Schultz was there.  Schultz stared at him for at least three minutes.  Then he decided the cat should get up.  So he barked.  Loudly.

Let's just say, the cat was not pleased.  He did exactly what I would have done if I were him.  He gave Schultz a good swipe on the nose with his claws.  So now the dumb dog has a huge scratch on his snout.

I hope Schultz has learned his lesson about not waking the cat!  (Now if I can only get him to stop sniffing the cat's butt when he's eating!)  

Fan Dog

You may recall that I took my son to a baseball game a few days ago.  While we were there, we got one of those foam hands with the finger pointing up that says, "Number One Fan."  My son loved this thing.  Apparently, our hundred pound German Shepherd, Schultz, loved it, too.  Because yesterday we found it on the ground, looking a little chewed up.

 

"Schultz!" my son yelled.  "Bad dog!"

Schultz gave Bubba a melancholy look and slinked off to the corner where he plopped down on the ground for a self-imposed time out.

I guess he just couldn't resist the smell of barbecue chicken wings and cotton candy!  (See previous post regarding Mister Sticky Fingers for that story.)