Sherry Ellis's Blog, page 121
February 17, 2012
Little Miss Lucky
My daughter and I walked into the grocery store today. In the lobby, was one of those machines with a bunch of stuffed animals inside. You put in some money, operated the claw, and snag a toy. Or something like that. My daughter saw this thing and immediately wanted to give it a try.
"Mama, I have money," she said. "Can I try....please?"
"That's a total waste. You'll never get a toy."
"I get a toy almost everytime. Remember, I got one at the skating rink?"
Oh yeah, she did. And then a little kid promptly yanked it out of the machine and took it from her.
"Okay. It's your money. Do what you want with it."
She put fifty cents in the slot. She operated the hook. She lowered it over a cute little red mouse with a heart on its foot. The hook grabbed it.
"It's going to drop it," I said, not convinced that she'd actually get the thing.
"No it's not."
And do you know what? She was right. It dropped into the slot, where she reached in and got it out. Now she is now the proud owner of a red fluffy mouse.
Lucky girl!
"Mama, I have money," she said. "Can I try....please?"
"That's a total waste. You'll never get a toy."
"I get a toy almost everytime. Remember, I got one at the skating rink?"
Oh yeah, she did. And then a little kid promptly yanked it out of the machine and took it from her.
"Okay. It's your money. Do what you want with it."
She put fifty cents in the slot. She operated the hook. She lowered it over a cute little red mouse with a heart on its foot. The hook grabbed it.
"It's going to drop it," I said, not convinced that she'd actually get the thing.
"No it's not."
And do you know what? She was right. It dropped into the slot, where she reached in and got it out. Now she is now the proud owner of a red fluffy mouse.
Lucky girl!
February 16, 2012
Fun at the Orthodontist Office
It was time for my son to pay a visit to the orthodontist. He's not one to sit quietly in a chair and wait his turn. He always has to find or provide some type of entertainment.
"Mama," he said. "Hold these cups." He grabbed a few cups from the sink and put them up to his ears.
I held the cups on his ears. Then he put one over his nose, and a few on top of his head.
"How do I look?' he asked.
"Ridiculous."
The next source of entertainment involved karate. He imagined he was a black belt karate master. He ran around the office doing karate moves in front of the other patients.
"Dude, get over here," I said. "You're going to hurt someone!"
The last form of entertainment involved a couple of tropical plants. They were very pretty bush-like flowering things. My boy crawled under one and disappeared.
"Bubba, get out of the jungle," I said.
"Yeah, Tarzan," joked a nurse. "I've had that plant ten years. If you hurt my baby, I'm going to hurt you!"
Uh oh. And that was the end of the fun.
"Mama," he said. "Hold these cups." He grabbed a few cups from the sink and put them up to his ears.
I held the cups on his ears. Then he put one over his nose, and a few on top of his head.
"How do I look?' he asked.
"Ridiculous."
The next source of entertainment involved karate. He imagined he was a black belt karate master. He ran around the office doing karate moves in front of the other patients.
"Dude, get over here," I said. "You're going to hurt someone!"
The last form of entertainment involved a couple of tropical plants. They were very pretty bush-like flowering things. My boy crawled under one and disappeared.
"Bubba, get out of the jungle," I said.
"Yeah, Tarzan," joked a nurse. "I've had that plant ten years. If you hurt my baby, I'm going to hurt you!"
Uh oh. And that was the end of the fun.
February 15, 2012
The Magic Grip
My son does not have the best penmanship. I think he takes after me. It's not because he can't make perfectly-shaped letters, it's because he has better things to do than sit there and painstakingly draw them. I totally understand. The teachers don't. They want him to make perfect letters.
The solution? The Magic Grip. My son invented it himself.
"Mama, look," he said showing me a rubber thing wrapped around his pencil.
"What's that?" I asked.
"It's magic. It makes you write perfectly. Look." He demonstrated a well-formed lower case "a."
"Well, that's really good," I said.
"Now watch," he said. "I'm going to take it off and you'll see what my writing looks like." He removed the rubber contraption and made another "a." It was terrible. Just like I'm accustomed to seeing.
"Hmmm," I said. "It really is magic. Maybe you should take that thing to school with you."
He shook his head. "No, it only works at home."
The solution? The Magic Grip. My son invented it himself.
"Mama, look," he said showing me a rubber thing wrapped around his pencil.
"What's that?" I asked.
"It's magic. It makes you write perfectly. Look." He demonstrated a well-formed lower case "a."
"Well, that's really good," I said.
"Now watch," he said. "I'm going to take it off and you'll see what my writing looks like." He removed the rubber contraption and made another "a." It was terrible. Just like I'm accustomed to seeing.
"Hmmm," I said. "It really is magic. Maybe you should take that thing to school with you."
He shook his head. "No, it only works at home."
February 14, 2012
Valentines and Tatoos
Last night was the night before my kids' Valentines Day party at school. Do you know what that meant? It meant writing out fifty six Valentines. And this year, I got those ridiculous tatoo thingies that go inside. Do you know how hard it is to slide those little buggers in the itty bitty slots on the cards? Let's just say I had a migraine headache when I was done with it.
"Hey, kids," I said. "Do you want to help me out with this? I could sure use some assistance!"
They came over. "Oh, cool," they said. "Can we have some of these Phineas and Ferb tatoos?"
"We have to get them in these cards first," I said. "If there are any left over, you can have some."
They started helping.
"This is boring," my son said. He promptly took off to play his DS. I think he did one. Maybe.
My daughter was better. She finished hers.
Then I had to put the heart stickers on to seal them. I did that all by myself.
"Okay, kids," I said when I finished. "They're in your school bags."
My son reemerged from his DS cave and grabbed a sheet of tatoos.. "Can you put these on me?"
Seriously? I mean, why couldn't he give me a break!
Grrr. I love Valentine's Day!
"Hey, kids," I said. "Do you want to help me out with this? I could sure use some assistance!"
They came over. "Oh, cool," they said. "Can we have some of these Phineas and Ferb tatoos?"
"We have to get them in these cards first," I said. "If there are any left over, you can have some."
They started helping.
"This is boring," my son said. He promptly took off to play his DS. I think he did one. Maybe.
My daughter was better. She finished hers.
Then I had to put the heart stickers on to seal them. I did that all by myself.
"Okay, kids," I said when I finished. "They're in your school bags."
My son reemerged from his DS cave and grabbed a sheet of tatoos.. "Can you put these on me?"
Seriously? I mean, why couldn't he give me a break!
Grrr. I love Valentine's Day!
February 13, 2012
Ancient One
Usually I get heckled by my kids for being so old. Now my students are doing it. I made the mistake of commenting on a piece of music from the musical, Oklahoma.
"This song has been around a bazillion years," I said.
My student looked at me funny. "You've been around a bazillion years?"
"No, not me - the song."
It didn't register. "That means, you're like immortal," the student said. Then she flipped through the rest of the book. "Do you know all of these songs, too?"
I nodded.
"Wow, you are ancient!"
So I guess I'm ancient and immortal. That makes me feel so good. Not!
"This song has been around a bazillion years," I said.
My student looked at me funny. "You've been around a bazillion years?"
"No, not me - the song."
It didn't register. "That means, you're like immortal," the student said. Then she flipped through the rest of the book. "Do you know all of these songs, too?"
I nodded.
"Wow, you are ancient!"
So I guess I'm ancient and immortal. That makes me feel so good. Not!
February 12, 2012
Underwater Beach Instrument
A jar filled with a strange liquid was sitting on my kitchen table.
"What's this?' I asked my son.
"An underwater beach instrument," he replied.
"Huh?'
"It works like this." He picked up the jar and swished the liquid around. Then he banged on the top like he was playing a bongo.
"Hey, that actually sounds pretty good," I said. "What's in it?"
"Two flavors of Capri Sun juice pouches." He opened up the jar and took a swig. "It tastes pretty good, too!"
"What's this?' I asked my son.
"An underwater beach instrument," he replied.
"Huh?'
"It works like this." He picked up the jar and swished the liquid around. Then he banged on the top like he was playing a bongo.
"Hey, that actually sounds pretty good," I said. "What's in it?"
"Two flavors of Capri Sun juice pouches." He opened up the jar and took a swig. "It tastes pretty good, too!"
February 11, 2012
Dancing with the Boys
Last night there was a mother-son dance at our elementary school. All of the young men got spruced up in their suits and ties. The moms put away their t-shirts and sweatpants, and got out their fancy dresses. Everyone looked mighty fine.
My little man, a first-grader, escorted me to the ball. When we got there, hip-hop music was blaring from the auditorium. I knew this would be good. As we checked in, my little guy got a cool pair of sunglasses. I got a carnation wrist bracelet. Very nice.
"Come on, mom, let's go rock this place." My little man didn't stay with me for long. He joined his buddies for a wild romp on the floor. They were busting some serious hip-hop moves - spinning around, dusting the floor with their fine suits.
The DJ attempted to slow things down a bit for a mother-son dance. Let's just say my son only knows one speed -fast. He was spinning me around, dragging me down.
"Dude, this is a slow dance," I said.
"I am going slow!" he replied.
Okay. Maybe he was a little slower than before.
Next was a trip to the chocolate fountain. My son grabbed some fruit and dipped it into the chocolate. When he was done, he had chocolate all over his face, and all over his suit.
Finally, we rejoined the fun. A human train was chugging along the dance floor. My son hopped on. Not to be outdone, we moms did our own human chain. It was a blast.
By the time we were done, the boys were covered in dirt, sweat, and chocolate. My son summed it up best when we returned home: "Mama, that was the best time of my life!" I'd have to agree. It was pretty fun!
My little man, a first-grader, escorted me to the ball. When we got there, hip-hop music was blaring from the auditorium. I knew this would be good. As we checked in, my little guy got a cool pair of sunglasses. I got a carnation wrist bracelet. Very nice.
"Come on, mom, let's go rock this place." My little man didn't stay with me for long. He joined his buddies for a wild romp on the floor. They were busting some serious hip-hop moves - spinning around, dusting the floor with their fine suits.
The DJ attempted to slow things down a bit for a mother-son dance. Let's just say my son only knows one speed -fast. He was spinning me around, dragging me down.
"Dude, this is a slow dance," I said.
"I am going slow!" he replied.
Okay. Maybe he was a little slower than before.
Next was a trip to the chocolate fountain. My son grabbed some fruit and dipped it into the chocolate. When he was done, he had chocolate all over his face, and all over his suit.
Finally, we rejoined the fun. A human train was chugging along the dance floor. My son hopped on. Not to be outdone, we moms did our own human chain. It was a blast.
By the time we were done, the boys were covered in dirt, sweat, and chocolate. My son summed it up best when we returned home: "Mama, that was the best time of my life!" I'd have to agree. It was pretty fun!
February 9, 2012
Daily Food Poisoning
"Mama," my ten-year-old daughter said, "We have a new news show at school!"
"Oh, yeah?" I said. "Tell me about it."
"It's called, 'Daily Food Poisoning.'"
"What?" I asked, making a funny face. "What kind of show is that?"
"My friends and I do it at lunch time. We take stuff from our lunch boxes and mix them together. Today I mixed the strawberries and applesauce you gave me with some fruit/vegetable juice stuff my friend's mom made. Then I eat it."
"Seriously?" I couldn't believe it.
"Then what? Do you vomit?"
She giggled. "No, I report on it."
"Report on what? How your parents are trying to kill you by packing healthy food in your lunch boxes?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
Unbelievable. Who wouldn've thought healthy food could get so twisted!
"Oh, yeah?" I said. "Tell me about it."
"It's called, 'Daily Food Poisoning.'"
"What?" I asked, making a funny face. "What kind of show is that?"
"My friends and I do it at lunch time. We take stuff from our lunch boxes and mix them together. Today I mixed the strawberries and applesauce you gave me with some fruit/vegetable juice stuff my friend's mom made. Then I eat it."
"Seriously?" I couldn't believe it.
"Then what? Do you vomit?"
She giggled. "No, I report on it."
"Report on what? How your parents are trying to kill you by packing healthy food in your lunch boxes?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
Unbelievable. Who wouldn've thought healthy food could get so twisted!
February 8, 2012
Marble Art
I like going in to my son's classroom to help out. It's always fun to see what kind of projects first graders do. Today's project was an art experiment with marbles, paint, and magnets.
"You don't mind working with paint, do you?" the teacher asked.
I shook my head. "No, I like working with paint," Then I thought about it for a second and added, "As long as there are plenty of hand wipes!"
The teacher grinned. She gave me plenty of hand wipes.
The kids marched out to where I had everything set up. I explained how to move the marbles with the magnets through the paint, to create gorgeous masterpieces.
They had a great time making splat marks and squiggly lines on the paper. After talking about magnets, and colors, I asked the kids what they thought they created.
"A mess," said one kid.
"A blob," said another.
My kid? "A blazing red sunset with a Pokemon ball."
Wow. Does he have an imagination, or what?
(And yes, I used almost the entire container of hand wipes - on myself!)
"You don't mind working with paint, do you?" the teacher asked.
I shook my head. "No, I like working with paint," Then I thought about it for a second and added, "As long as there are plenty of hand wipes!"
The teacher grinned. She gave me plenty of hand wipes.
The kids marched out to where I had everything set up. I explained how to move the marbles with the magnets through the paint, to create gorgeous masterpieces.
They had a great time making splat marks and squiggly lines on the paper. After talking about magnets, and colors, I asked the kids what they thought they created.
"A mess," said one kid.
"A blob," said another.
My kid? "A blazing red sunset with a Pokemon ball."
Wow. Does he have an imagination, or what?
(And yes, I used almost the entire container of hand wipes - on myself!)
February 7, 2012
Bean Juice
Sounds appetizing doesn't it? It's what I made in the kitchen today. My husband had brought home a canister of gourmet beans from Costco.
"Woman, do something with these," he said.
"Um, okay."
I looked at the recipe on the canister. Bean chili. It sounded good. I soaked the beans overnight, and then boiled them for two hours. They were all ready.
Unfortunately, my husband got sick. When anybody gets sick in my family, I give them good old fashioned Matzah Ball Soup. It does the trick every time. So anyway, I had this chili to make in addition to the Matzah Ball Soup. I decided to cook them simultaneously, because I was short on time. (What else is new?)
Two big pots boiled away on the stove. I worked on finishing the chili. The recipe said to pour a cup of reserved bean juice into the mix. I did. Except it wasn't the chili mix. It was the Matzah Ball Soup mix. Oops.
Now my Matzah Ball Soup had a strange gray tinge to it. "Oh well," I thought. "A little bean juice never hurt anyone."
I dished it into the bowls. And do you know what? My family liked it!
"Woman, do something with these," he said.
"Um, okay."
I looked at the recipe on the canister. Bean chili. It sounded good. I soaked the beans overnight, and then boiled them for two hours. They were all ready.
Unfortunately, my husband got sick. When anybody gets sick in my family, I give them good old fashioned Matzah Ball Soup. It does the trick every time. So anyway, I had this chili to make in addition to the Matzah Ball Soup. I decided to cook them simultaneously, because I was short on time. (What else is new?)
Two big pots boiled away on the stove. I worked on finishing the chili. The recipe said to pour a cup of reserved bean juice into the mix. I did. Except it wasn't the chili mix. It was the Matzah Ball Soup mix. Oops.
Now my Matzah Ball Soup had a strange gray tinge to it. "Oh well," I thought. "A little bean juice never hurt anyone."
I dished it into the bowls. And do you know what? My family liked it!
