Sherry Ellis's Blog, page 107
August 1, 2012
Birthday Celebration
Guess what? It's my birthday. And to celebrate, I'm giving away free downloads to my book, That Mama is a Grouch. Why? Because you guys rock! Just visit my page on Smashwords and use coupon code DK23B. It's good until August 7th, so hurry!
One more surprise for you: Since I always write about my nutcase German Shepherd, I thought I'd show you what he looks like:
Schultz
Now I'm off to eat cake and ice cream! Catch you later.
One more surprise for you: Since I always write about my nutcase German Shepherd, I thought I'd show you what he looks like:
Schultz
Now I'm off to eat cake and ice cream! Catch you later.
July 31, 2012
Bushwacked
I have a special talent. Do you know what it is? I have the uncanny ability to booby trap refrigerators. Yep. I stack things into little itty bitty spaces, so that if you aren't careful, you might have food topple out when you open my refrigerator.
Usually it's everyone else who gets bushwacked by my precarious piles. Not today. Today it was my turn. First thing this morning, I opened the refrigerator to get some milk for my kids' cereal. I reached for the milk, without taking out what was in front of it. Big mistake. Because what was in front of it was a bowl of chicken noodle soup, and that bowl of chicken noodle soup flipped right out of there, onto the floor.
My feet were covered with broth and noodles. "Dang it!" I yelled. I had been bushwacked!
Our German Shepherd, Schultz, heard my cries of distress. He gallopped over. He knew just what to do. He whipped out his big pink tongue and slurped the noodles off my feet. Then he cleaned the floor and the walls. By the time he was done, everything was sparkly clean (sort of).
It's nice to have a furry friend when you need one!
Usually it's everyone else who gets bushwacked by my precarious piles. Not today. Today it was my turn. First thing this morning, I opened the refrigerator to get some milk for my kids' cereal. I reached for the milk, without taking out what was in front of it. Big mistake. Because what was in front of it was a bowl of chicken noodle soup, and that bowl of chicken noodle soup flipped right out of there, onto the floor.
My feet were covered with broth and noodles. "Dang it!" I yelled. I had been bushwacked!
Our German Shepherd, Schultz, heard my cries of distress. He gallopped over. He knew just what to do. He whipped out his big pink tongue and slurped the noodles off my feet. Then he cleaned the floor and the walls. By the time he was done, everything was sparkly clean (sort of).
It's nice to have a furry friend when you need one!
July 30, 2012
Turtle Lake
Today I decided to take my son to playground we had never visited. (It's my goal this summer to see all of the playgrounds in my general area.) As soon as we got there, my son noticed a lovely lake.
"Mama, do you think there are turtles in there?"
Before I could say, "I don't know," I group of kids shouted, "Look, a turtle!"
I guess that answered that question.
My son made a beeline for the lake. He didn't even care about the playground equipment. "Mama, look at all the turtles!"
There were no less than seven swimming around.
Apparently we had arrived at Turtle Lake, which was as close to heaven as you could get for my boy. "Mama, we have to come back here every day!"
So much for visiting the rest of the playgrounds.
"Mama, do you think there are turtles in there?"
Before I could say, "I don't know," I group of kids shouted, "Look, a turtle!"
I guess that answered that question.
My son made a beeline for the lake. He didn't even care about the playground equipment. "Mama, look at all the turtles!"
There were no less than seven swimming around.
Apparently we had arrived at Turtle Lake, which was as close to heaven as you could get for my boy. "Mama, we have to come back here every day!"
So much for visiting the rest of the playgrounds.
July 29, 2012
Shop and Eat
My eight-year-old son has been eating me out of house and home. Apparently he's growing.
"Mama," he said today, "I'm starving!"
"You just ate an hour ago," I replied.
"Yeah, I know. But I'm starving!"
I looked in the refrigerator and noticed that our food supply was on low. "Okay. Time to restock. Let's take a little trip to COSTCO."
For those of you who may not have a COSTCO in your neighborhood, it's a, 80,000 square foot warehouse building that sells bulk everything - food, medicine, furniture, TVs - you name it, it has it. The nice thing about COSTCO is that there are always employees giving free food samples. You can actually get enough food to equal an entire meal. It was the perfect place to take my famished son. While I shopped, he snacked.
When we were done, he gave me a satisfied smile. "Mama, I wish we lived here."
"Why?"
"Because then I'd never have to starve."
"Mama," he said today, "I'm starving!"
"You just ate an hour ago," I replied.
"Yeah, I know. But I'm starving!"
I looked in the refrigerator and noticed that our food supply was on low. "Okay. Time to restock. Let's take a little trip to COSTCO."
For those of you who may not have a COSTCO in your neighborhood, it's a, 80,000 square foot warehouse building that sells bulk everything - food, medicine, furniture, TVs - you name it, it has it. The nice thing about COSTCO is that there are always employees giving free food samples. You can actually get enough food to equal an entire meal. It was the perfect place to take my famished son. While I shopped, he snacked.
When we were done, he gave me a satisfied smile. "Mama, I wish we lived here."
"Why?"
"Because then I'd never have to starve."
July 28, 2012
Another Shedder in the House
No, we didn't get another dog at my pad. (I know that's what you're thinking, because my German Shepherd is a real shedder!) We have a new shedder, and it isn't who you might think it is.
This morning, I went over to the hermit crabs' tank. It was the usual ritual - clean, feed, and wet their sponges. But as I looked in the tank, I noticed something a little peculiar. It looked like a dead hermit crab out of its shell. Uh oh, I thought. A hermit crab bit the dust.
I picked that thing out of there and tossed it into the garbage. "Hey, Bubba," I said. "One of your sister's crabs died."
He came running over. "Which one?"
"I don't know. Let's see." I turned over the shell of the first crab. I could see the little claws in there, so it wasn't him. I turned over another one. Claws in that one too. I continued with the other hermit crabs. They were all in there. "That's weird," I said. "Apparently, nobody died. Do hermit crabs shed?"
My boy and I did some research. Guess what we found out? Hermit crabs do indeed shed. Apparently one of those crustaceans had plans to do some growing.
Bubba immediately went to the garbage and pulled out the exoskeleton. "Wow, this is cool," he said. "Can I put it on my shelf?"
Um, no!
So, how many of you knew that hermit crabs shed?
This morning, I went over to the hermit crabs' tank. It was the usual ritual - clean, feed, and wet their sponges. But as I looked in the tank, I noticed something a little peculiar. It looked like a dead hermit crab out of its shell. Uh oh, I thought. A hermit crab bit the dust.
I picked that thing out of there and tossed it into the garbage. "Hey, Bubba," I said. "One of your sister's crabs died."
He came running over. "Which one?"
"I don't know. Let's see." I turned over the shell of the first crab. I could see the little claws in there, so it wasn't him. I turned over another one. Claws in that one too. I continued with the other hermit crabs. They were all in there. "That's weird," I said. "Apparently, nobody died. Do hermit crabs shed?"
My boy and I did some research. Guess what we found out? Hermit crabs do indeed shed. Apparently one of those crustaceans had plans to do some growing.
Bubba immediately went to the garbage and pulled out the exoskeleton. "Wow, this is cool," he said. "Can I put it on my shelf?"
Um, no!
So, how many of you knew that hermit crabs shed?
July 27, 2012
Running in the Dark
First of all, I want to let you all know why I think my son wanted to stay home and not go to his grandparents' house yesterday. He came down with a nice case of poison ivy. I guess it was only a matter of time before that happened. He spends a lot of time in the woods. So I had to deal with that today.
Anyway, my story here doesn't have anything to do with that. It has to do with the power outages we've been experiencing due to the massive thunderstorms that have been rumbling through my neck of the woods. This evening the power went out yet again. It was pretty dark outside. My son and our wonderful German Shepherd, Schultz, decided it would be a good time to have a berserk and run around the house.
They started running like complete manaics, bumping into furniture and making lots of noise. Of course they could barely see anything.
"Hey, knock it off," I said. "You're going to get hurt!"
But they were too riled up. Around and around they went, giggling and barking like a couple of idiots.
Mother Nature helped me out a bit, because suddenly there was a huge clap of thunder right above our house. Those boys stopped in their tracks. They both came and sat down next to me.
"Mama, is Mother Nature angry?" my son asked.
"Yeah. She doesn't like when you don't listen to your Mama."
"Okay," said my son. "I'll listen to you, because I don't want you or Mother Nature mad. You guys are scary!"
Hee Hee.
Anyway, my story here doesn't have anything to do with that. It has to do with the power outages we've been experiencing due to the massive thunderstorms that have been rumbling through my neck of the woods. This evening the power went out yet again. It was pretty dark outside. My son and our wonderful German Shepherd, Schultz, decided it would be a good time to have a berserk and run around the house.
They started running like complete manaics, bumping into furniture and making lots of noise. Of course they could barely see anything.
"Hey, knock it off," I said. "You're going to get hurt!"
But they were too riled up. Around and around they went, giggling and barking like a couple of idiots.
Mother Nature helped me out a bit, because suddenly there was a huge clap of thunder right above our house. Those boys stopped in their tracks. They both came and sat down next to me.
"Mama, is Mother Nature angry?" my son asked.
"Yeah. She doesn't like when you don't listen to your Mama."
"Okay," said my son. "I'll listen to you, because I don't want you or Mother Nature mad. You guys are scary!"
Hee Hee.
July 26, 2012
Home Body
My in-laws had been planning to spend a few days with my kids at their place, which is about four hours from where I live. They were all excited about seeing their grandkids. Today was the day. Well, my son had other ideas. He simply refused to go.
"I don't want to go. I'll miss my home, and I'll miss Mama," he told them.
My mother-in-law spent a lot of time trying to convince him to go. He wouldn't budge. We decided not to force the issue. They got my daughter, but not my son.
Now, I was expecting that boy to take off for the pond. I figured the whole thing was a ploy to go turtle hunting. But do you know what? The kid surprised me. He stayed home all day and played with me. He didn't even go running off to his friends's house.
What's up with that? Does this mean I might actually still be wanted? I think I'm in shock!
"I don't want to go. I'll miss my home, and I'll miss Mama," he told them.
My mother-in-law spent a lot of time trying to convince him to go. He wouldn't budge. We decided not to force the issue. They got my daughter, but not my son.
Now, I was expecting that boy to take off for the pond. I figured the whole thing was a ploy to go turtle hunting. But do you know what? The kid surprised me. He stayed home all day and played with me. He didn't even go running off to his friends's house.
What's up with that? Does this mean I might actually still be wanted? I think I'm in shock!
July 25, 2012
Death of the Monkey Spoon
My kids have had this monkey spoon since they were babies, and for some reason, they still like to use it. It's this itty bitty thing with a brown plastic monkey on the handle. Well, today it met its demise.
There was a pile of dirty dishes in my sink this afternoon. (Imagine that!) I cleared those out of there and loaded the dishwasher. Then I ran the garbage disposal to get rid of the remaining crud that was in the sink. Let me tell you, the noise when I turned it on was something horrendous. What the heck? I thought.
I quickly turned that thing off and waited for the the little cutter things to stop spinning. Then I carefully reached down to see what could possibly be stuck in there. That's when I pulled out a little monkey. Let's just say, it wasn't looking too good. The spoon part was missing, so I knew there were pieces and parts still left in the disposal.
To make a long story short, it took me about twenty minutes to clear that thing out. I tried the garbage disposal when I was done. It sounded better, but not perfect. I'm still not sure if my garbage disposal died after trying to eat that monkey spoon.
Later I told my son about the spoon.
"Awww," he said. "That was my favorite spoon."
Yeah. And that was my favorite garbage disposal.
There was a pile of dirty dishes in my sink this afternoon. (Imagine that!) I cleared those out of there and loaded the dishwasher. Then I ran the garbage disposal to get rid of the remaining crud that was in the sink. Let me tell you, the noise when I turned it on was something horrendous. What the heck? I thought.
I quickly turned that thing off and waited for the the little cutter things to stop spinning. Then I carefully reached down to see what could possibly be stuck in there. That's when I pulled out a little monkey. Let's just say, it wasn't looking too good. The spoon part was missing, so I knew there were pieces and parts still left in the disposal.
To make a long story short, it took me about twenty minutes to clear that thing out. I tried the garbage disposal when I was done. It sounded better, but not perfect. I'm still not sure if my garbage disposal died after trying to eat that monkey spoon.
Later I told my son about the spoon.
"Awww," he said. "That was my favorite spoon."
Yeah. And that was my favorite garbage disposal.
July 24, 2012
Riding in the Rain
"Mama, can I go to the lake?" my son asked.
"Sure," I said, not bothering to look out the window to see if any precipitation might be heading our way. "Be back in an hour."
The boy hopped on his bike and took off. I went about my business. Soon, I heard the rumble of thunder. I looked outside. The sky was getting mighty dark. I hope the boy has sense to come home now, I thought.
The boy didn't have the sense to come home. Raindrops started to fall. What began as a trickle, turned into a major downpour. Thunder boomed. Hail crashed onto the house. Oh brother, I thought.
After about ten minutes of that, my son stumbled into the house. He was soaked from head to toe, and he wasn't very happy.
"Mama, that was scary!" he said. "I need a snuggle."
So he put his wet little body against me and I held him while the storm raged.
Of course, I was soaked by the time it was done, but hey, I guess that's what moms are for.
"Sure," I said, not bothering to look out the window to see if any precipitation might be heading our way. "Be back in an hour."
The boy hopped on his bike and took off. I went about my business. Soon, I heard the rumble of thunder. I looked outside. The sky was getting mighty dark. I hope the boy has sense to come home now, I thought.
The boy didn't have the sense to come home. Raindrops started to fall. What began as a trickle, turned into a major downpour. Thunder boomed. Hail crashed onto the house. Oh brother, I thought.
After about ten minutes of that, my son stumbled into the house. He was soaked from head to toe, and he wasn't very happy.
"Mama, that was scary!" he said. "I need a snuggle."
So he put his wet little body against me and I held him while the storm raged.
Of course, I was soaked by the time it was done, but hey, I guess that's what moms are for.
July 23, 2012
Turtle Catchers
Those of you who have been following this blog a while know that my son really wants a pet turtle. He begged me. He begged his dad. He begged his grandparents. His grandpa was going to get him a turtle for his birthday, but my husband vetoed that. "No way!" he said.
Well, my son's buddies came to the rescue. They knew it was his birthday, so they wanted to get him an extra special birthday present. Four of his buddies got up bright and early to go turtle hunting. They must've known that the turtles would be out at that time.
They were armed with fishing poles, hooks, and salami. They marched to the lake and cast their lines, determined to catch a turtle for my boy.
And do you know what? They caught not one, but two turtles - a red eared slider and a painted turtle. The boys marched to our house and delivered the special birthday presents.
You should've seen my son. He was beside himself. He couldn't believe that his buddies caught him a turtle.
I guess that's what friends are for.
(Now what the heck are we going to do with those things?)
Well, my son's buddies came to the rescue. They knew it was his birthday, so they wanted to get him an extra special birthday present. Four of his buddies got up bright and early to go turtle hunting. They must've known that the turtles would be out at that time.
They were armed with fishing poles, hooks, and salami. They marched to the lake and cast their lines, determined to catch a turtle for my boy.
And do you know what? They caught not one, but two turtles - a red eared slider and a painted turtle. The boys marched to our house and delivered the special birthday presents.
You should've seen my son. He was beside himself. He couldn't believe that his buddies caught him a turtle.
I guess that's what friends are for.
(Now what the heck are we going to do with those things?)
