Sherry Ellis's Blog, page 101
October 9, 2012
Stink Bug Invasion
We have an interesting phenomenon going on over here in Cincinnati. They're called stink bugs. These little critters are oddly shaped gray bugs that emit a putrid odor when disturbed. They seem to be popping up everywhere.
Apparently, they popped up on the bus. As the bus pulled up to drop off the kids, I noticed a bit of mayhem going on. Kids were up, out of their seats, yelling and carrying on. The bus driver looked like she was about to blow a gasket.
After the kids unloaded, I asked what was going on.
"Stink bugs," said my son. "They stunk up the whole bus!"
"Seriously?" I couldn't believe a tiny little bug could cause that much trouble.
"Yeah, Mama. I'm going to catch some so you can smell how stinky they are."
We went home, and my son found a jar. He also found some stink bugs. He put them inside and shut the lid. A little while later, he called me over to have a sniff.
Let me just say, it was pretty awful. Something like rotten eggs, and an overly-ripe outhouse. Yuck!
"Can we keep them?" asked my son.
"Absolutely not!" I said. "We are not having any pets that smell like that!"
Apparently, they popped up on the bus. As the bus pulled up to drop off the kids, I noticed a bit of mayhem going on. Kids were up, out of their seats, yelling and carrying on. The bus driver looked like she was about to blow a gasket.
After the kids unloaded, I asked what was going on.
"Stink bugs," said my son. "They stunk up the whole bus!"
"Seriously?" I couldn't believe a tiny little bug could cause that much trouble.
"Yeah, Mama. I'm going to catch some so you can smell how stinky they are."
We went home, and my son found a jar. He also found some stink bugs. He put them inside and shut the lid. A little while later, he called me over to have a sniff.
Let me just say, it was pretty awful. Something like rotten eggs, and an overly-ripe outhouse. Yuck!
"Can we keep them?" asked my son.
"Absolutely not!" I said. "We are not having any pets that smell like that!"
October 8, 2012
Duct Tape Flowers
One of the presents my daughter had received for her birthday was a bag full of duct tape. Now you may ask why in the world would anybody give somebody a bag of duct tape for a present. Apparently tweens and teens think that stuff is great. In fact, my daughter said it was her favorite present. Duct tape these days, comes in an assortment of colors and patterns - perfect for crafty kids. And my daughter is crafty!
"Mama," she said. "I made something for you."
"What is it?" I asked.
"Come and see!"
She led me into the family room and handed me a bouquet of flowers. They weren't ordinary flowers. They were duct tape flowers, with green stems and leaves, and pretty multi-colored petals.
"Wow! They're beautiful!" I said. "How did you make them?"
She demonstrated how she carefully folded pieces of duct tape into triangles and formed the petals.
"That's really good! Did you read a book to figure out how to do it?"
"No," she said. "I just figured it out." Then she added, "Sniff them."
I did. And do you know what? They smelled just like her perfume.
Amazing!
October 7, 2012
The Birthday Bash
I have finally finished digging myself out from under the mounds of chocolate and piles of candy wrappers. Let me just say, it was quite a party! For those of you who may just be tuning in, we had a chocolate-themed birthday party for my eleven-year-old daughter. You can see from the pictures, that there was quite a lot of chocolate! In fact, when the parents showed up to drop off their kids, they couldn't believe their eyes. "It really is a chocolate party!" they said.
A couple of parents actually looked a little concerned about it, so I had to show them the vegetable tray. "See," I said. "We even have some healthy stuff."
They looked at me skeptically.
Needless to say, not one vegetable got eaten, but the girls had a great time. I found out that they are all experts at the blindfolded candy guessing contest. The girls had to identify the candy just by taste, and not one girl made a mistake. Unbelievable!
The next morning when I came downstairs, I found five girls stuffing their faces with candy.
"Hi, Mom!" they said.
"Nice breakfast," I said.
"This is the best!" one girl said. "Can we live here?"
Yeah. Just what I need. Five more daughters!
October 5, 2012
Birthday Celebrations!
Hey everybody, it's party time at my pad! My daughter turns eleven today. I can't believe how fast the time has flown! Anyway, I'm getting ready for the big chocolate-themed birthday party, so I don't have a lot of time to write.
But I wanted to also let you know that my daughter is not the only one celebrating a birthday, today. Author, Christine Rains, is celebrating, too, and she's giving away free copies of her book. Be sure to stop by her blog and wish her Happy Birthday!
So, Christine, this is for you - a pretty cool rendition of Happy Birthday, by a talented violinist, Rachel Barton Pine. Have a fabulous day! (And if you want to stop by for the party, come on over - you're only a couple of hours down the road from me!)
Now I'm going to go bake cake. Chocolate of course!
But I wanted to also let you know that my daughter is not the only one celebrating a birthday, today. Author, Christine Rains, is celebrating, too, and she's giving away free copies of her book. Be sure to stop by her blog and wish her Happy Birthday!
So, Christine, this is for you - a pretty cool rendition of Happy Birthday, by a talented violinist, Rachel Barton Pine. Have a fabulous day! (And if you want to stop by for the party, come on over - you're only a couple of hours down the road from me!)
Now I'm going to go bake cake. Chocolate of course!
October 4, 2012
Creating a New Life Form
My eight-year-old son came home from school today, all excited. "Mama! We're doing science in school!"
"Cool," I said. "Science is fun!"
"Guess what?" he continued. "I'm going to do a science experiment."
"Oh yeah? What kind?" I asked.
He thought about that. "I'm going to create a new life form!"
"Well, that sounds like a pretty good trick," I said. "Exactly how are you going to do that?"
He was quiet for a second. "I'll have to do some research, but I think I'm going to make a Bowser."
(Bowser, in case you don't know, is a character from the Mario video games.)
My daughter, who had been listening to this conversation put her two cents in. "I know how you can make a Bowser."
"How?" I asked.
"Find the world's largest turtle and cross it with the world's largest chicken."
"Brilliant!" I said.
So now we're on the lookout for the world's largest turtle and chicken. If you happen to find them, please let us know!
"Cool," I said. "Science is fun!"
"Guess what?" he continued. "I'm going to do a science experiment."
"Oh yeah? What kind?" I asked.
He thought about that. "I'm going to create a new life form!"
"Well, that sounds like a pretty good trick," I said. "Exactly how are you going to do that?"
He was quiet for a second. "I'll have to do some research, but I think I'm going to make a Bowser."
(Bowser, in case you don't know, is a character from the Mario video games.)
My daughter, who had been listening to this conversation put her two cents in. "I know how you can make a Bowser."
"How?" I asked.
"Find the world's largest turtle and cross it with the world's largest chicken."
"Brilliant!" I said.
So now we're on the lookout for the world's largest turtle and chicken. If you happen to find them, please let us know!
October 3, 2012
Scary Spider
Halloween is right around the corner, and in my neighborhood, things are looking pretty scary. There are ghosts and skeletons in just about every yard.
So, this morning I took Schultz, our big German Shepherd, for a walk. Things were pretty normal. Then out of the blue, Schultz got all crazy on me. His hair stood up on his back, and he started growling.
"Hey, boy," I said. "What's the matter?"
He stopped walking by my side and tried to cut in front of me, tugging hard on the leash.
"Heel!" I commanded.
He wouldn't.
I wondered what the heck had made him so agitated. I didn't hear any dogs barking. Usually that's what sets him off.
He continued growling and acting crazy. I thought the hundred pound beast was going to bolt.
That's when I looked over my shoulder. On somebody's lawn, was a huge inflatable spider. That thing was pretty ugly! Schultz was growling at the spider.
"It's okay, Schultz," I said. "It's just a spider. And don't worry. It won't bite! (At least I hoped it wouldn't!)
Note to self: Keep Schultz away from the spider, because things won't go well for that thing if Schultz sinks his pearly white fangs into it!
So, this morning I took Schultz, our big German Shepherd, for a walk. Things were pretty normal. Then out of the blue, Schultz got all crazy on me. His hair stood up on his back, and he started growling.
"Hey, boy," I said. "What's the matter?"
He stopped walking by my side and tried to cut in front of me, tugging hard on the leash.
"Heel!" I commanded.
He wouldn't.
I wondered what the heck had made him so agitated. I didn't hear any dogs barking. Usually that's what sets him off.
He continued growling and acting crazy. I thought the hundred pound beast was going to bolt.
That's when I looked over my shoulder. On somebody's lawn, was a huge inflatable spider. That thing was pretty ugly! Schultz was growling at the spider.
"It's okay, Schultz," I said. "It's just a spider. And don't worry. It won't bite! (At least I hoped it wouldn't!)
Note to self: Keep Schultz away from the spider, because things won't go well for that thing if Schultz sinks his pearly white fangs into it!
October 2, 2012
Mama Can't Write
My son had a school project to do - something about "The History of Me." He was to compile a bunch of pictures from each year of his life, and then write a sentence or two about them.
Parents had an assignment, too. They had to write a few special things that happened during each year. This had to be completed on a worksheet.
Okay, fine, so the teacher gave me homework. Not that I had time to do this, but I managed to squeeze it in. I turned in my homework and patted myself on the back.
Today, that paper came home in my son's homework folder.
"Bubba," I said. "Do you still need this?"
"Yeah, Mama," he said. "The teacher says you need to do it again."
"What?"
"She says it's sloppy, and I can't read it. Plus you need to use complete sentences."
Seriously?
So, ladies and gentleman, here I am, the writer who just failed second grade penmanship and English. Is that pathetic, or what?
Parents had an assignment, too. They had to write a few special things that happened during each year. This had to be completed on a worksheet.
Okay, fine, so the teacher gave me homework. Not that I had time to do this, but I managed to squeeze it in. I turned in my homework and patted myself on the back.
Today, that paper came home in my son's homework folder.
"Bubba," I said. "Do you still need this?"
"Yeah, Mama," he said. "The teacher says you need to do it again."
"What?"
"She says it's sloppy, and I can't read it. Plus you need to use complete sentences."
Seriously?
So, ladies and gentleman, here I am, the writer who just failed second grade penmanship and English. Is that pathetic, or what?
October 1, 2012
The Chocolate Haul
My daughter's chocolate-themed birthday party is this Saturday. So naturally, we had to take a little trip to the grocery store to get some chocolate.
We walked into the candy aisle. "Okay kid, pick some candy," I said.
Well, that was a mistake. She grabbed a bag of Kit Kats, and Hershey bars, and Reese Peanut Butter cups.
"That's enough," I said.
She gave me a look. "Mom, this is no way enough!" Then she grabbed some York peppermint patties, and M & Ms, and Twix bars."
I shook my head. "Is that enough?"
"No, Mom, it's not enough."
Then she went for some non chocolate items - nerds, black Twizzlers, and Sourpatch kids.
"Wait a minute," I said. "Something's not right, here! This is a chocolate party, not a candy party!"
"But Mom," she said. "One of my friends who's coming doesn't like chocolate. She needs something to eat, too."
"Yeah, how about pizza, and veggies, and fruit? That's something else."
"Mom!"
To make a long story short, we ended up buying $65.00 worth of candy. The moral of the story is this: Never let a kid loose in a candy aisle!
We walked into the candy aisle. "Okay kid, pick some candy," I said.
Well, that was a mistake. She grabbed a bag of Kit Kats, and Hershey bars, and Reese Peanut Butter cups.
"That's enough," I said.
She gave me a look. "Mom, this is no way enough!" Then she grabbed some York peppermint patties, and M & Ms, and Twix bars."
I shook my head. "Is that enough?"
"No, Mom, it's not enough."
Then she went for some non chocolate items - nerds, black Twizzlers, and Sourpatch kids.
"Wait a minute," I said. "Something's not right, here! This is a chocolate party, not a candy party!"
"But Mom," she said. "One of my friends who's coming doesn't like chocolate. She needs something to eat, too."
"Yeah, how about pizza, and veggies, and fruit? That's something else."
"Mom!"
To make a long story short, we ended up buying $65.00 worth of candy. The moral of the story is this: Never let a kid loose in a candy aisle!
September 30, 2012
Crashing Through the Road Blocks
Today, I decided to infuse my frog-loving son with some culture. I took him to a theater to see a production of Annie. The show was great, but the trip getting there was an epic adventure.
The theater was pretty much in Timbuktu. It was about an hour away from where I live, in a place that I was completely unfamiliar with. As luck would have it, our way was blocked. The sign read: "Road closed one mile ahead." A detour sign pointed toward an alternate route.
Okay, I thought. No problem. I'll just follow the signs, and I'm sure I'll figure it out.
Ha!
I followed the signs down one road, and then down another. Finally, the detour sign pointed down a road that clearly looked like it was closed. Typical Cincinnati signage. But I followed it anyway.
"Mama," my son said. "I don't think you're supposed to go down here."
"Sure I am," I said as I passed by the road baracades. "The sign said I should go this way."
I weaved in and out through orange barrels and pylons, bumping along the dirt road. Nobody else was on it, so I really didn't care.
"Mama," my son said, sounding real nervous. "This isn't right. I don't want to be here."
I looked in the rear view mirror. "Okay, buddy, I'll turn around."
So I did. And I double checked to make sure the detour sign was pointing down the road I had just been on. It was.
I went back to the original road and decided to try my luck going down it. All was well for about two miles. Then the barriers were up, and the road became a dirt path.
"Oh good," I said. "Another off road experience."
I plowed through that thing, hoping to find a side street to turn off.
"Mama!" my son said. "What are you doing?"
"Going to the theater. What does it look like I'm doing?"
The poor kid was ready to have a heart attack.
To make a long story short, I did manage to get to the theater by finding a side street and zig zagging through the town. And I did it with two minutes to spare. Am I good, or what?
(Note to self: I need to get a smart phone or GPS system!)
The theater was pretty much in Timbuktu. It was about an hour away from where I live, in a place that I was completely unfamiliar with. As luck would have it, our way was blocked. The sign read: "Road closed one mile ahead." A detour sign pointed toward an alternate route.
Okay, I thought. No problem. I'll just follow the signs, and I'm sure I'll figure it out.
Ha!
I followed the signs down one road, and then down another. Finally, the detour sign pointed down a road that clearly looked like it was closed. Typical Cincinnati signage. But I followed it anyway.
"Mama," my son said. "I don't think you're supposed to go down here."
"Sure I am," I said as I passed by the road baracades. "The sign said I should go this way."
I weaved in and out through orange barrels and pylons, bumping along the dirt road. Nobody else was on it, so I really didn't care.
"Mama," my son said, sounding real nervous. "This isn't right. I don't want to be here."
I looked in the rear view mirror. "Okay, buddy, I'll turn around."
So I did. And I double checked to make sure the detour sign was pointing down the road I had just been on. It was.
I went back to the original road and decided to try my luck going down it. All was well for about two miles. Then the barriers were up, and the road became a dirt path.
"Oh good," I said. "Another off road experience."
I plowed through that thing, hoping to find a side street to turn off.
"Mama!" my son said. "What are you doing?"
"Going to the theater. What does it look like I'm doing?"
The poor kid was ready to have a heart attack.
To make a long story short, I did manage to get to the theater by finding a side street and zig zagging through the town. And I did it with two minutes to spare. Am I good, or what?
(Note to self: I need to get a smart phone or GPS system!)
September 29, 2012
Old Cheese
Before I tell my story, I have to take care of some unfinished business. A couple of you asked to see a picture of Evelyn, our new pet tree. Here she is:
Isn't she pretty?
Now for the story. This morning, I took our big German Shepherd, Schultz, for a walk. He likes to sniff around and munch on whatever he may find. This usually does not amount to much. Today, however, was a different story. His big old snoot landed on a pile of white stuff. Apparently he thought it smelled pretty good because he started munching.
"Schultz, drop it," I said.
He didn't listen. He kept munching.
I listened to the crunching sounds as he chewed whatever he had found. I couldn't imagine what on earth it was.
Finally, I pulled Schultz away from the pile and inspected it. Do you know what it was? Dried string cheese. Disgusting!
I don't know how he managed to eat that stuff without vomitting, but let me just say, I'm kind of nervous about what's going to come out the other end!
Isn't she pretty?
Now for the story. This morning, I took our big German Shepherd, Schultz, for a walk. He likes to sniff around and munch on whatever he may find. This usually does not amount to much. Today, however, was a different story. His big old snoot landed on a pile of white stuff. Apparently he thought it smelled pretty good because he started munching.
"Schultz, drop it," I said.
He didn't listen. He kept munching.
I listened to the crunching sounds as he chewed whatever he had found. I couldn't imagine what on earth it was.
Finally, I pulled Schultz away from the pile and inspected it. Do you know what it was? Dried string cheese. Disgusting!
I don't know how he managed to eat that stuff without vomitting, but let me just say, I'm kind of nervous about what's going to come out the other end!
