Amber L. Carter's Blog, page 33

"Objects in window are farther away than they appear."

Today I noticed that we either have really odd magnifying windows in the Penthouse, or there's an optical illusion that I've never noticed before. But every morning, I wake up to the view of this HUGE ball of golden leaves that takes up almost the entire southern view of our apartment window (because of the sun, I couldn't get a photo of what it looks like from my bedroom door). When I stepped outside to the deck to take a photo of it to share on here, I was mystified and dismayed by the fact that the tree is actually pretty tiny. But from my bedroom, this mass of gold looks HUMUNGOUS.

Then I noticed that when I'm walking toward the northern row of windows, the gingerbread eaves of the storefronts on Main Street that faces our building? Looks big and super close to our windows. The closer I get, though, the smaller and farther away it gets. Is this normal? Or is this just something that I've never really noticed before? In logic, I always thought that the farther away you get from an object, the smaller it appears, not the other way around? Or is this something that's offset by a certain type of glass used in windows?

Regardless: I get to see this huge pop of golden color every time I look or walk towards the southern part of the Penthouse. And I care less about why that is than about the fact that it's lovely and amazing and the most perfect view for fall.

I feel like my relationship with Spotify Radio has developed a whole bunch of passive-aggressive land mines I didn't account for when I signed up.

Spotify playing 20 Death Cab for Cutie songs on my Spotify Radio today despite no "thumbs up" from me is like the tech version of the "you'll really like this one, then, I promise, I'll just play this one and if you don't like it, then we can stop listening to them, but just this one last one, I PROMISE you'll like it" musically-earnest-but-misguided ex-boyfriend.

It's like the music version of "just the tip, just to see how it feels, and if you don't like it, we can stop."

But you know what? We never stop when we do that. Maybe not because it feels awesome...maybe not because it's the right thing to do...but because you're there, and it's just happening, and even though it's not particularly great, it's also not particularly awful, so we might as well just "listen to that one last song."

And then we'll break up with you and never tell you why!

I guess what I'm trying to say is: I don't really hate Death Cab, but I don't so much like them, either. And I definitely don't want to have sex with them, Spotify, so I really wish you would stop trying to make that happen. It's not going to. And the more you try to make it happen, the less I'm going to want to give in.

(Unless, you know, we're just lying in bed together, naked, taking a "nap" on some lazy Saturday afternoon while they're spending the weekend at my house. Then it's just doing what nature intended and seeing where this crazy ride takes us, yeah? You get it.)

IT'S A WORLD OF BEGINNINGS, EVERYBODY!

Today I took this photo for Keri, my Girly-Girl Spirit Animal: For as long as I've known her (and it's been a while) she has always been rocking the most perfect, feminine, stylish ensembles, complete with fantastic heels, coordinated accessories, and flawless makeup.

And yes, she's also the type of girl who also has a different hairstyle every day.

Compared to her, I'm kind of like the tomboy sister who is only now learning to master the art of eyeliner. I have my own style, which mainly consists of knee-high boots, slim jeans, and off-the-shoulder sweaters. I rarely wear any jewelry, unless it's a wrist cuff or chandelier earrings when I'm going out. I've gotten better with switching it up when it comes to my hair, but mostly I let it hang loose and long.

And all of that is totally fine - I'm ready to ride a horse or hike through a sun-dappled field at any time, you guys! - but a few weeks ago, I decided that I wanted to try changing things up a bit.

Like, maybe try wearing more high heels.

Before, whenever I would don a pair of heels, I always felt a little bit like a 6 year old stomping around in her mom's shoes - they just didn't feel me. Lately, though, I realized that, hey, I'm 34 and it might be time to own a pair or two. Maybe even learn how to walk in them. And if those things go well, maybe I would start wearing them out in public, on a regular basis, to places and events that aren't just weddings and/or funerals!

So I've started doing this thing where I get up in the morning, put on a cute outfit, and slip on some heels. At first, wearing high heels around The Penthouse when I was just at home, working and writing, felt a little silly...until I remembered that Serena Van Der Woodson wore high heels around her home all the time, even when she was doing nothing else than having conversations with her ex-boyfriend-turned-stepbrother Dan.

And you know how they say that you should dress for the job that you want, not the job you have? Well, I want the job where I stand around in my penthouse apartment all day, looking awesome while having conversations with a man who looks like Penn Badgley.

So I'm going to keep rocking out this heels thing. I promise not to take a photo of every outfit I wear with heels, though. I got a little carried away with the selfies already today, as evidenced by this gem:



Whatever. Some of you guys have been doing the duckface selfie shit for years, so I get at least ONE.

It could end up being one of the best mistakes I've ever made, or one of the best mistakes I've ever made.

This is just a small percentage of the chocolate-covered candy that now resides in The Penthouse.Today I accidentally bought $45 worth of chocolate-covered candy, because apparently my arms and hands have no concept of what "four pounds" feels like. 
I thought about all the ways that I could share this embarrassment of riches/chocolate with others, but then I realized...I have FOUR POUNDS OF CHOCOLATE in my house now. 
Along with my complete collection of the Anne of Green Gables book series, I have practically accomplished all of the dreams that I ever dreamed between the ages of 6 and 10. 
(The only one left is having a constant supply of Snickers Ice Cream bars waiting for me in my freezer whenever I feel like eating one or two or three)
To all the little girls out there whose parents never let you stockpile your own delicious treats so that you could make your Facts of Life or Family Ties TV-watching schedule that much more satisfying...it gets better. 
Someday, when you grow up, you'll realize...it gets better. 

Deep Thoughts on Singlehood.

I like being single, but sometimes I feel sad when I wake up with perfect bedhead hair and there's no one around to appreciate it.
— Amber L. Carter (@ambercolorlife) September 14, 2013

Please Minneapolis. Please elect this man. He promised not to go to strip clubs! He's totally fine with making $100,000 a year! WHAT ELSE DO YOU PEOPLE WANT?!

How things come.

It's always strange - and amazing, and crazy, and just outright rad - how some things come to pass.

I kind of like to think of 2011 as one of the most formative years of my life. A lot of pretty spectacular shiz went down that year: I spent most of it striking out on my own as a writer, an online dating consultant (Cyber Dating Sidekick, you are gone but not forgotten), and the online media manager and partner of a start-up. I sold most of my stuff and went to New Orleans to train for the Disaster Corps. I came back to Minneapolis and then moved to a cabin in the woods near Hayward, WI. I spent the summer at that cabin, listening to Nerdist podcasts during long walks in the woods and clearing out my heart during long sessions of meditation and study. I spent the fall and most of the winter living in Hayward, in one of my favorite apartments that I have ever lived in. I dated a Handsome Rugged Outdoorsman, and I dated a Pretty Boy With A Lot of Potential, and finally, I met Chris. And I wrote, and I wrote, and I wrote, and most of that writing can now be found in certain things you ought to know .

And always somewhere, lingering just in the background there, was Ben Weaver.

I wrote a lot about him in my second/third book...or more to the point, about my wonderment of him. I first met him the night I went to The Tramping With Pioneers show with Erica, and then ran into him again the week after. There's a lot of other stuff that goes in there that's kind of private and that wouldn't make much sense if I tried to explain it, anyway, but it led me to sitting cross-legged on a couch in a hotel lobby in New Orleans, staring up at the glass ceiling that rose up 10 more stories, and then beginning an email correspondence with him that would crash in like waves and slip away again with the tide throughout the next two years.

Sometimes we meet people who simply call to the parts of ourselves who long to be more of who we are. Sometimes it's better, if we don't always share everything that happens, if we just keep some things private because the details are too precious to us to be spilled out onto the table.

But the thing of it was this: During that summer and fall, it became a little dream of mine to figure out a way to get Ben up to Hayward to play a show. A lot of it was that his music was exactly the kind that I always think of when I tried to train my ear to hear a deeper existence in the woods, and I wanted to be able to share that, with people up here. A little was that, in the way that I struggle sometimes with my sense of place and then I always try to think of the person who would embrace it, I knew Ben would like Hayward in ways that I sometimes missed.

Fast forward to fall two years later. Standing in the kitchen of the Penthouse during a party that Adam and I were throwing, I found myself deep in conversation with Jeff Jones of WOJB and the Park Theater. Jeff is the man who is responsible for getting the Hold Steady up to Hayward (yes, I still hate the Hold Steady, but even I have to admit that booking a show of them in Hayward is a serious fucking accomplishment), and he's since booked some fantastic freaking shows at the Park Theater. I mentioned  to him my little wish to have Ben Weaver play at the Park Theater. Jeff relayed that not only did he know of Ben Weaver, but he was a fan. So I connected the two via email a few days later, and boom. Less than a year later, a small wish, a favorite idea of mine is now a solid date on the Park Theater schedule. He will be staying at the Penthouse with us on Friday, though due to circumstances beyond my control, I don't even know if I'll get to see him play at the Park. It's enough, though, that he will be here and that others will get to hear his music. It's enough that he will be here, in Hayward, the place that I've told him about so many times and have talked about in so many ways. It's enough that this tiny little thing, this lovely little hope, was thrown out in the universe a few falls ago and has finally come back, solid and true.

It's always strange - and amazing, and crazy, and just outright rad - how some things come to pass.

"It's like hot pumpkin renewal for your soul."

This is why I love +Kevin Watterson / @kwatt. 

Forever Friends: Katykins, Kimmy, and me. (KKA 4EVA!)

Thursday Throwback 9.5.13

When I was little, I used to always try to "pose" for pictures like this because I somehow thought that if I did, someday someone would see those pictures and realize that I was obviously meant to be a child model/ actor, and that I needed to be put in their next Oreo cookie commercial, STAT. 
Yeah. Imagine having to live with a kid like that full-time.
I should probably start stepping it up a notch when it comes to my mom and dad's Christmas presents, right...