Jeff Kay's Blog, page 16

What Was Your Grand Achievement Of The Weekend? Also, What Method Do You Use To Play Your Music These Days?

That’s a rare peek inside The Bunker, right there. As you can see, I successfully set up my new stereo. It was my grand achievement of the weekend. Hey, it’s more than I usually get done… The hardest part was clearing out the hundreds of CDs that were previously stacked on that table. The actual setting up o’ the stereo took roughly one minute. The moving o’ the CDs took a lot longer.

It sounds great, by the way. I’m no audiophile and don’t require a $5000 setup. This is a small room, and that thing hits the sweet, sweet “most bang for the buck” spot I’m always looking for. I know what cheap and shitty sounds like, and this ain’t it. As usual, I played the traditional Steely Dan CD to test it out. It passed. Sounded full and rich, to my ears anyway. I’m pleased with the purchase.

What was your grand achievement of the weekend? Tell us about it, won’t you?

As you can see, I have the walls covered. That’s a signed and framed Replacements poster. Paul Westerberg signed it while I hobnobbed with him in an Atlanta bowling alley years ago. I have a feeling I enjoyed the experience MUCH more than he did. He seemed like he was ready to crawl out of his skin. But he was reasonably friendly, just attempting to endure the dreaded record label-sponsored meet ‘n’ greet.

And there’s a big metal Yuengling sign I bought at the brewery in Pottsville. I love that thing. Looks fantastic. Also, a 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers pennant,  purchased from a shop in Cooperstown, NY. And a framed advertising piece for a notorious movie called Mr. Mike’s Mondo Video. It was supposed to be shown during the summer hiatus of Saturday Night Live, during the late 1970s. It features many of the original SNL cast, and after NBC saw the finished product… they refused to air it. So, it was shown in theaters instead. It was written and directed by Michael O’Donoghue, a full-blown maniac comedy pirate. I remember Siskel & Ebert just completely trashing it, and being almost offended that it was allowed to exist in this world. Heh.

And there’s a phony-baloney Topps baseball card ad. Hey, it’s also cool looking, and I was OBSESSED with baseball cards at one point. So, there’s some relevance there. I think a Surf Reporter sent me that Samuel Adams bar towel. And those two autographed baseballs are signed by Johnny Bench and Hank Aaron.

Anyway, I hate to admit this but so far I’ve mostly been Bluetoothing music to that stereo. It’s just so easy. Everything’s at my fingertips. In fact, I have a supplementary app on my phone where I can access the rare items not on Spotify. So, between the two… I have nearly every album ever recorded. It’s great! …And I feel dirty admitting it.

How do you listen to music these days? I still listen to CDs, especially in my car. And I’m sure I’ll listen to them at home, as well. But that streaming stuff… man, that’s not bad at all.

I need to call it a day here. Apparently, I need to get into work. I’m being peppered by texts, and I’m not sure what’s happening.

I released a new podcast episode around midnight last night. Here’s the summary:

In this one I tell you about some electrifying news I received and a related plan, a friend who’s an extreme eater and his various adventures, my hatred of bells going off all willy-nilly, underwear night at a minor league baseball stadium, an amputee convention on an island off the coast of Georgia, the mystery of “the insurance man,” mediocre beer from a growler, and the Whistle Dick of the Week! Also stick around for a very cool trailer for a forthcoming project after the show. Thanks for listening!

And, as usual, I want to remind you about using our Amazon links while doing your holiday shopping. It’s getting down to the wire, but there’s still time. Please just pass through one of our links, and shop as normal. It’s a big help to me.

Thank you, guys. I’ll be back on Thursday.

See you then!

Now playing in the bunker

Support us by doing your shopping on Amazon! In Canada? Here’s your link. Thank you, guys!

The List Of New Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Inductees Has Been Released!! …Hello?

The window of opportunity to write and post this update is more along the lines of a porthole, really. Meaning it’s very small indeed. I have no time, my friends. So, I thought I’d just post my quick thoughts on the 2019 list of Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame inductees, which was announced today. How’s that sound? …Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of. Onward!

First of all, have you ever been to the so-called Rock Hall? I have, and it’s good, I guess. I wasn’t completely blown away, but it was certainly well-done. I remember there was almost nothing about Bob Dylan in there, which seemed weird to me. And I remember some drawings of football players by a very young Jimi Hendrix, which kinda blew my mind. You almost forget that the mythological rock gods were actually, you know, regular people at some point. The drawings were not very good, just typical kid stuff. But those kinds of things stick with me more than just guitar after guitar after glittery jacket after high-rise boot. Ya know?

Anyway. I have no idea what criteria is used during the selection process. But I can tell you one thing… it’s a true basket of turds. I mean, it feels 100% arbitrary. There are BAFFLING choices, both in the list of people who get in, and the list of people who do not. I don’t want to be totally dismissive, but it doesn’t seem to have an enormous amount of integrity. Am I wrong?

In any case, here’s the Class of 2019 and my quick thoughts on each:

Stevie Nicks  Uh, no. I can take her in the context of Fleetwood Mac, but undiluted? What possible reason would there be to do such a thing? There’s so much good, challenging music out there. But, on the other hand… she’s very mysterious, like a gypsy witch, and has a lot of scarves and spins round and round on stage, etc. And she does sing like an agitated pygmy goat. So, perhaps I’m wrong?

Janet Jackson  Seriously? Why?? She had some poppy radio hits. But so did a lot of people. Apparently having Jackson as a last name goes a long way. Next year they’ll probably induct Reggie Jackson.

Radiohead  I believe their first two albums featured actual music. Then it just turned into caterwauling and various sound effects. Years ago stores that sold stereos would have demonstration tapes you could play to test out speakers before you bought ’em. It was all just random sounds, like dogs barking and ambulance sirens and that kind of thing. I think that if we unearthed one of those recordings today, and put Radiohead’s name on it, Rolling Stone would give it five stars and call it brilliant and revolutionary.

The Cure  I’m down with that. They’ve been around since the late 1970s and have been very consistent. Lots of great songs, and several great albums. I have no issue with this pick.

Def Leppard  I don’t know… When the list of possible inductees was released I knew they’d be a slam-dunk. It just feels very Rock n Roll Hall of Fame, right? And I don’t have a problem with the band. Their albums are fun and sound great in a car. But are they innovative and especially important? Have they moved the ball forward in any way? I don’t know about that.

Roxy Music  To tell you the truth, I’m no expert. I’m very familiar with their album Avalon, which is excellent. And I’ve heard some of their earlier work, but not enough to offer an educated opinion. However, as a young hillbilly child, I did appreciate their Country Life album cover. Oh, I appreciated that one real good. And for that alone, they belong.

The Zombies  Hell yeah! This choice made me the happiest. I’m a big fan of the band and believe their final album, Odessey and Oracle, is one of the best of all time. I saw them about a year ago, with all the original surviving members. And they sounded fantastic. A great, somewhat surprising choice!

Folks who didn’t make the cut: Devo, John Prine, Kraftwerk, LL Cool J, MC5, Rage Against the Machine, Rufus featuring Chaka Khan and Todd Rundgren. Yeah, I know… a lot of it doesn’t make any sense. Janet and Stevie, but not John Prine? Whatever, man. Pass the beer nuts.

I have to go now. Please remember to use our Amazon links! Even if I’ve insulted one of your favorite artists above. Just click through, buy a lot of high ticket items, and that’s that. It’ll cost you zero extra dollars, and only about three or four extra seconds of time. But it makes a big difference, so please try to remember.

Also, I posted a new podcast episode for patrons today. Right here.

And I’ll see you guys again on Monday

Have a great weekend!

Now playing in the bunker

Support us by doing your shopping on Amazon! In Canada? Here’s your link. Thank you, guys!

What Are The All-Time Best Inexpensive Holiday Gifts You’ve Ever Given Or Received?

OK, I think I’m all better now. Well, not all better. That’ll never happen. But I’m over my temper tantrum about WordPress completely and utterly changing everything, creating a steep learning curve, and triggering a goddamn emotional crisis here in the House of Half-Ass. I apologize for my outburst on Thursday.

Sheesh. It’s like if you went out to your car, running late for work, and the dashboard suddenly looked like the control panel of a Boeing 737. What the?? Where’s the steering wheel? Where does the key go?? But you better get going! You’ve got that important meeting at 2:00. That’s about what it felt like. But anyway, enough o’ dat.

On a more positive note, I bought an inexpensive “stereo system” for the bunker, finally. I put it in quotes, ’cause a true audiophile would likely weep at the mere suggestion. But it’s good enough for me, maybe. Here it is. As I mentioned, there are no simple stereos anymore, and I’m not interested in buying used gear and refurbishing it, etc. I like that kind of stuff, but don’t have the room here in the walk-in closet, and I also don’t have the know-how, the bank account, or the patience.

I did a lot of research, as usual, and this thing apparently provides a lot of bang for the buck. It’s almost unanimous praise at both the Best Buy site and at Amazon, too. The price has fluctuated more than the height, width, and depth of Oprah’s ass-hams, and I bought low, baby. I had to drive down to Wilkes-Barre to get it, ’cause the Scranton Best Buy was sold out. But that’s alright.

And it’s currently still in the box, sitting in the living room floor. I have to figure out a few logistical things before I can set it up. It’s like freaking Tetris in here. But I’ll let you guys know if it was money well spent or a waste. Stay tuned.

Once again, I successfully posted a new podcast episode at 12:01 AM this morning. I get a little animated and shouty in this one. Heh. It’s episode 45 already, and available wherever you get podcasts. Or right here. Here’s the summary:

In this one I tell you about an encounter I had with a woman at the grocery store which made me crazy for a couple of hours, a conversation about sauerkraut that’s been weighing heavily on my mind, the disturbing ease with which an entire generation was brainwashed into sneezing and coughing into the crooks of their arms, some thoughts on Alexa devices, Liberty Mutual commercials, and the Whistle Dick of the Week. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for listening!

Check out the fancy new production element too! Good stuff.

And please don’t forget about using one of our Amazon links during this season of conspicuous consumerism, or whatever. There’s always a big ‘un in the right sidebar, and a couple underneath each individual update. Just pass through one, and shop as you normally would. It’ll cost you nothing extra but makes a big difference to me. So, thanks in advance! It’s much appreciated.

Finally, I have a quick Question for you. It’s mostly for fun, but could also prove to be useful. I’d like to know what were the best inexpensive gifts you’ve ever received. Say… twenty bucks or less. Basically, a stocking stuffer type of thing that really hit the mark. Several years ago my parents gave me some normal things for Christmas, along with a reissued version of the classic Mattel football game above. I had the original during the 1970s and loved it. At some point they reissued it, and my folks picked it up somewhere for me. Which kinda blows my mind, if you want to know the truth… But I still use the thing. It’s fantastic! Also, somebody at work gave me some cheap ballpoint pens from Staples several years ago, and I’m still using them too. Here they are. I’ve had to add ink a time or two, but they’re both still in heavy rotation. A great gift that probably cost less than ten dollars! What do you have on this? Help me out, won’t you? What’re your all-time favorite inexpensive gifts that you’ve received. Or given, even. Whatever you have.

And I’ll be back on Thursday.

You guys have yourselves a stellar week, and I’ll try to do the same.

Now playing in the bunker

Support us by doing your shopping on Amazon! In Canada? Here’s your link. Thank you, guys!

Blame WordPress For This Update! I Wash My Hands Of It

I am, at this moment, very confused. When I logged into WordPress this morning everything was different. And I’m not talking about a handful of small enhancements. I mean it’s like I’m using a brand new program that I’ve never seen before. What in the ass-wiping hell is going on?!

Apparently, it’s something called Gutenberg that, to be fair, WordPress has been warning us is coming. But, after a bout of initial concern, I just forgot about it. I’ll burn that bridge when I get to it, I mumbled down my shirt collar.

Well, I’m there, my friends. I attempted to go back to the “classic” set-up, to avoid discomfort for a little while longer, but it would not allow it. Now it’s Gutenberg or nothing, losers. And what kind of stupid name is that, anyway? It adds insult to injury.

At this point, I’m typing in the editor, but have no idea how to add a photo to the top of the page. This is bullshit. I’m very close to just throwing in the towel on this crap. Wow.

I’ll tell you about the podcast episode, for patrons, which I successfully released at or near 12:01 AM. The title is ‘Put On Your Cans And I’ll Pot You Up!’ Here’s the link. And here’s the summary:

In this exclusive episode for the Delta Force of Podcast Listeners I go on and on about a recent episode of 20/20, discuss the history of The $64 Question, describe the coffee mug I’m using, tell you about a grocery store conversation I had about Christmas music, the sad status of my current to-do list, a puzzling loaf of bread pricing scheme, the $6 Buck Meal, and the way people react to homicide detectives on TV shows. I hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks for the support!

I thought this episode was somewhat of a turd, but I re-listened and now feel differently. It definitely has some laughs. Check it out if you’re so inclined.

Now I have a photo inserted, but it’s at the bottom of the page. I resized it, but it’s still showing as the original dimensions. Whatever. I also don’t know how to move it. It feels like you should be able to drag and drop the thing, but it doesn’t work. I’m losing my mind. I’m doing Google searches and reading sketchy websites with so many popups I feel like my junk computer might burst into flames. You guys should thank me for not having popups and garbage like that on The Surf Report. Videos don’t start playing… the site doesn’t jerk and shift as nonsense loads… there are no popups… Oh well.

OK. I moved the photo to the top. Turns out if you put the cursor on the image, a tiny and almost translucent “arrow up” icon appears and you can click it and move the photograph wherever you need it. However, I’m now adding a title and it repeatedly disappears. I don’t know why. Why?? Have I mentioned that this is bullshit?

Every new paragraph creates a block. And each block has its own settings and navigation. I didn’t realize I needed a degree in engineering to run a dick ‘n’ poop joke website. I have to go. Blame WordPress for this update. Sweet sainted mother of Rodney Allen Rippy!

Please remember to use our Amazon links, and all that stuff. It’ll eat up maybe three extra seconds of your time, and will cost you nothing extra. But it’s a big deal to me. So, thanks for remembering.

I need to go to work now. I promise to have this thing halfway mastered by next time. At least enough to do a real update.

Have a great weekend, my friends!

Now playing in the bunker
Support us by doing your shopping on Amazon! In Canada? Here’s your link. Thank you, guys!

I Entered To Win A Spectacular Prize! Have You Ever Actually Won Anything?

Before we get started with this one, let’s get the formalities out of the way. First of all, I posted a new podcast episode — available to everyone! — at 12:01 AM on Monday. That’s going to be the goal from now on… new episodes will be posted at 12:01. It’s not always possible, but I’m gonna try. Here’s your link, and here’s the summary:

In this one, I share my feelings about adults who insist on making a big deal out of their birthdays, a memorable visit to a Sheetz convenience store, and a cautionary tale I told one of my kids that featured a strange man I worked with years ago. And etc. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for listening!

It’s available wherever you get podcasts. Oh, there’s wide distribution… So, give it a listen if you’re so inclined. I think I’m making good progress with eradicating “ya know?” from my speech. It’s both harder and easier than I thought it would be. I know that doesn’t seem to make sense, but it’s the truth.

Also, since we’re in the midst of Consumer Season ’18 I need to remind you to please use one of our Amazon links while doing your holiday shopping. There’s one at the bottom of every update, as well as a big ‘un in the right sidebar. Just click through one, and shop as normal. That’s all there is to it. It’ll cost you nothing extra, but a small percentage of whatever you spend will be sent my way. It helps me a great deal, so thank you guys for remembering!

Here are some things I’m enjoying at the moment:

Bosch A show on Amazon Prime. It feels like I mentioned it last time, as well. Oh well. It’s a solid old-fashioned police series with great acting and writing. I’m loving it. Last night I watched the first two shows of Season 3. There’s one more season to go, and Season 5 is supposed to be released in the spring. So, I’m good for a while. They recently committed to a Season 6 too. Good stuff. I also have several of the Bosch books on my Kindle but haven’t gotten around to reading any of them.

Bad Move: A Novel I’ve read a lot of books by Linwood Barclay, and most are probably better than this one. But I like it. He’s become a consistent and accomplished writer of thrillers that remind me of Dean Koontz. You know? Ordinary people suddenly plunged into extraordinary circumstances? But this was Barclay’s first book, and it’s a humor novel. I had no idea. Oh, it features murder and a mystery, and all the normal stuff. But it’s built for laughs. Apparently, he wrote four novels featuring the same main character, and I’ll have to read them all. This one feels like a first novel, which isn’t really a compliment. But it’s certainly not bad. And it’s legitimately funny. I’m a sucker for this kind of thing.

Katrina & The Waves I was, of course, familiar with their big ’80s hit “Walking on Sunshine.” I mean, who isn’t? And I also knew that one of the main guys from The Soft Boys was a member of the band, and actually wrote their big hit. The Soft Boys was Robyn Hitchcock’s band, but Kimberly Rew (a dude, btw), the guitarist, went on to Katrina & The Waves after The Soft Boys broke up. I didn’t know much beyond that. It felt really bizarre to me, though. The Soft Boys were eccentric and weird, and Katrina was so… sunny and upbeat. Anyway, Hitchcock wished Rew a happy birthday yesterday on Instagram and called him one of the greatest songwriters, etc. So, I did some additional investigating, and it turns out Katrina & The Waves were way more interesting than I knew. It was Kimberly Rew’s band, and he wrote most of the songs, including “Going Down To Liverpool” which was covered by the Bangles. I always thought it was a Bangles original. Also, before they were signed to Capitol Records and became one-hit wonders, they recorded two albums for a small independent label. Both are on Spotify and I can’t stop listening to ’em. They’re rocking and fun. Really good stuff. And, once again, I had no idea.

Devil Anse IPA You’ll notice that Beer Advocate rates this beer as “exceptional.” I agree wholeheartedly. My friend Steve goes to West Virginia (the Motherland) frequently, and sometimes brings me gifts. A while back he brought me several single beers that were brewed in West Virginia. Huh, I thought, that’s interesting. But, to tell you the truth, I didn’t have high hopes. I don’t know why, but I didn’t. And my suspicions were right on the money with all but one. None were horrible, they just fell into that giant blobby “eh, it’s alright” category. That’s one big-ass category. But when I tried the Devil Anse I was blown away. Holy shitballs, that thing was fantastic. And it’s only available in West Virginia, and right over the border in Virginia. So, it’s a true regional beer. I have no easy access to it. But… I had lunch with Steve yesterday and he gave me a full case as a birthday present! So I’m back in business for a while. I’m gonna savor and pace myself. I have to make this thing last. Oh yeah.

What are you enjoying right now? If you’ve got something, please share. Use the comments.

And speaking of going down to Liverpool, I entered a contest yesterday that I’d LOVE to win. Check it out. Man, that would be truly kickass. I mean, I occasionally buy a lottery ticket (it’s rare, though) and I’d love to win that, as well. But I know I won’t. You’d have to be an idiot to believe you might actually win the lottery. But I could possibly win this Beatles thing, right? …Hello? Anyway, I got excited when I heard about it, and I’m planning to walk away with the grand prize. Just so you know.

Have you ever won anything? I won a 105-second “record run” back in the 1980s, where I was given 105 seconds to run around a record store and grab as many albums as I could. There were many restrictions, but I still ended up with a large number of free LPs. And I won a $5 gift certificate from McDonald’s when I was in 4th grade or something like that. I called into WKAZ, the local Top 40 station, and recited the “Two all beef patties, special sauce…” thing within five seconds or somesuch. The thing is… that five dollars fed our entire family. All four of us. Ha! Burgers were something like 35 cents back then. Crazy. And I recently won a Replacements promo pack from Rhino Records. The Replacements are one of my favorite bands, and the label gave away a bunch of rare promo-only items. And they drew my name! Hell to the yes.

But I believe that’s been the extent of my “winning.” What about you? Have you ever won anything substantial? Please tell us about it, won’t you?

And I’m calling it a day, my friends. I’ll be returning to work tomorrow, after five days off. Oh, my nipples are exploding with delight.

I’ll see you guys again on Thursday, with a new update and a new podcast episode.

Have a great one!

Now playing in the bunker

Support us by doing your shopping on Amazon! In Canada? Here’s your link. Thank you, guys!

I’m In The Midst Of A Severe Jean Crisis! Also, The Most Money We’ve Ever Spent On Something We Never Really Used

I’m having a jeans crisis. As you guys know, I regularly blow the full ass out of them and need to keep purchasing more. But the ones I like are becoming more and more difficult to find. So, I’m always behind the denim eight ball, forced to buy mysterious brands and unknown styles. And I can’t have that. The ones I like have a specific feel, and a specific fit. But if I buy something else — even if it’s expensive Levi’s or whatever — they’re odd, and I end up walking around adjusting and tugging. Just like when I was going through a horrible underwear crisis a few years back.

A couple of weeks ago I thought I’d found a pair of my old faves at Target, and they were my size. So, I snapped them up, but there’s something off about them. It’s the material. It seemed like the regular stuff, but when I put them on it felt like I was wearing sweatpants. And after about an hour the waist felt like it had increased in size by a full two inches. WTF? I needed suspenders. They’re weird, man.

Like I say, I’ve dabbled with many brands, and none are quite right. Often it’s the location of the crotch nexus. Do you know what I’m talking about? I’m not sure if that’s the actual name of it, but it’s where everything comes together… down in the crotch area. It forms a knot where all the fabric overlaps.  And that thing is sometimes too far back. Or at least it feels like it is to me. A properly located crotch nexus is very important. Also, the sizes are completely wacky from brand to brand. I know what size I wear, at least with the old standbys. But when I buy that same size from a different manufacturer, it’s off the wall.

I don’t need this aggravation. I might have to look into buying jeans by mail, which seems ludicrous to me. Hell, it would be such large amounts of fabric God only knows what the shipping would cost. They might have to send them in by rail. It’s something I’d have to look into. And I don’t know the model number, or whatever. Who knows the model number of their favorite pants?? This is bullshit. I’ve been buying the same jeans for 20 years, now they’re nowhere. I’m getting pissed just writing about it. I’m thinking about seeing a counselor.

I was in the bunker last night, moving some shit around, and I spotted something that made me feel a little ashamed. Or sad, maybe. It’s a digital camera I bought, maybe ten years ago. And that bastard was expensive. For me, anyway. My inner-sensors are saying $500. Something in that neighborhood. I also sprang for a fancy-ass bag to carry it in, which was another $70 or somesuch. I mean, this was a significant purchase. I don’t drop that kind of money very often, mostly because I don’t have it. I never have it. But anyway, when I bought this camera I did months of research, and read everything there was to read on the subject. And I finally pulled the trigger on it. …And never really used the thing. I mean, I probably snapped less than 100 photos with it. I had a little $99 Nikon that I was upgrading from, but continued to use. Due to the fact that it was much more convenient and easy, and took fantastic pictures. So, I basically wasted almost $600.

And I’d like to turn that into today’s Question: What’s the most money you’ve ever spent on something that you almost never used? Or the most you spent on something that today feels like a complete waste of money? You know, something along those lines? Please tell us about it in the comments, won’t you?

And I’m off from work for five days in a row after today. There’s also an option on the table to turn it into six days. Oh, I’m toying with that option, my friends. In any case, I just have to complete my day today, and I’m free! For a little while, at least.

Before I say farewell here, I need to remind you about the Amazon links. Please don’t forget to pass through one of our links, any of them, before doing your holiday shopping. Or your personal shopping… whatever. Just click through, and shop as normal. It’s very easy, and it’ll cost you nothing extra. But it helps me a great deal. Thank you guys!

Also, I posted a new podcast episode at 12:01 am today. It was one of the more difficult episodes for me to record, ’cause I was going against my hardwired instincts during the whole thing. It’s available to patrons right here. And here’s your summary:

I’ve been getting feedback from listeners who tell me I use the phrase “ya know?” way too often in the podcast episodes. I was skeptical, so I listened to a couple of recent installments. And sweet Maria! You guys are right. So, I’m attempting to rid myself of that phrase. I tell you all about it in this one, and struggle to refrain from using the words. Needless to say, there are plenty of barely-related jags as well, and all the normal nonsense. Thank you guys for the support, and thanks for listening!

I’ll be back on Monday, my friends.

Have yourselves a great weekend!

Now playing in the bunker

Support us by doing your shopping on Amazon! In Canada? Here’s your link. Thank you, guys!

Our Favorite Movies About Real Musicians, And Some Other Non-Related Items

How goes it? It goes well here, thanks for asking. I’m looking down the barrel of a four-day work week, then I’m off for several, some might even say many, days. So, I’m preparing to embark on a lame duck session between the just-expired weekend, and a wonderful vacation. Not really a fan of the lame duck session… but I’m sure I’ll endure it. Maybe.

How’d your Black Friday go? Get any good bargains? I didn’t personally buy anything, but I did sign-off on an unusual purchase that Toney initiated. I talk about it in the new episode of The Jeff Kay Show, available wherever you get podcasts. Basically, we booked a week in an unusual motel. …We’ll see how it goes. I’m sure it’ll be fine. And fun. By the way, here’s the summary of the just-released Episode 41 of the podcast:

In this one I tell you about the apparent Mother Of All Parties that took place on our block over the weekend, a couple of things I’m in the market for, an unusual Black Friday purchase, and the circumstances that led to our move from Atlanta to Los Angeles in 1996. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for listening!

One thing I’m in the market for is a stereo, just a normal shelf stereo that plays CDs and has detached speakers. Apparently, those are not available anymore? Now it’s just weird tubes that pulsate and light up. What the hell is that?? Mister, when I want to crank up the first Montrose album, or perhaps Dream Police, I want to do it on a real stereo. Not a cock-shaped flickering cylinder sitting in the middle of a table. What the hell’s going on? I feel like a man living in the wrong era. So, that’s my current shopping quest. Stay tuned.

Remember I told you guys about a close-call I had at the gym recently? I can’t remember if I talked about it here or in the podcast… it all runs together on me now. But last week, or the week before, I had lunch at Dairy Queen. I ordered the six dollar double-cheeseburger lunch special, and the seasoned citizen who rang me up said, “OK, that’ll be $5.30.” For the six dollar meal? Hey, whatever. Needless to say, the order was wrong. But close enough. Just roll with it. Who cares?

So, I polished off that tasty delight and drove straight to the gym, where I did an hour on the treadmill. And I struggled, my friends. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to maintain the integrity of my sphincter. That, or I thought there was a very good chance I might upchuck on the treadmill belt. But I took the speed down a notch and powered through without incident.

Of course, I said never again, and that proclamation stood for… a few days. Yesterday I had four(!) hot dogs from Sheetz. Two with sauerkraut, and two with chili. Then I went straight to the gym. Ha! I was talking with my brother while driving, and he couldn’t believe it. Four kraut dogs?! Why are you doing this? Why?? I told him I’d let him know if I let loose with a brown rainbow, and he seemed incredulous about the whole thing. But nothing happened. I had no issues whatsoever. Pass the beer nuts.

In case you’re keeping score, my current TV obsession is Bosch on Amazon Prime. It’s just a good old-fashioned cop show, with great characters and solid writing. No annoying artsiness, no preaching… Just good stuff. Highly recommended.

And finally, last time I mentioned how we were going to see “the Queen movie” as it’s known here at our house. Yeah, I know it’s actually called Bohemian Rhapsody, but we’re going with Queen movie. You can file a lawsuit if you’d like.

Anyway, it was very entertaining. A good film. The guy who played Freddie Mercury did a great job, especially considering the fact he had to wear a set of hilarious Party City novelty teeth in every scene. That dude should be commended for his performance. I have no idea who he is because I have no idea who anybody is. But he did a fantastic job with it.

And it was very funny, too. My favorite line: “Get out of the car, you treacherous piss flap!” I was howling with laughter, while everybody else simply chuckled. I don’t understand a mere chuckle in that situation. It’s hilarious.

In any case, we all enjoyed the movie and can certainly recommend it. It did feel a little bit like a collection of short stories that featured the same characters, instead of one big novel. If you know what I mean. More like a collection of scenes than one cohesive tale. But it was over two hours, and never felt overlong. It was good. Highly entertaining.

And it got me to thinking about other such films. When you do biopics about real musicians, it’s an iffy proposition. In fact, I think it fails most of the time. Am I wrong about that? During the coming attractions on Thursday, they showed a preview for a movie about Elton John. Will it be good too, like the Queen movie? Maybe, but probably not. Is that too cynical?

But when I think about scripted (non-documentary) movies about real musicians, one immediately jumps to mind: The Buddy Holly Story, with Gary Busey. Have you seen this? It’s great! I know Busey is a complete nut, but I love that movie. One of my favorites.

What are your favorite musician biopics? Tell us about it in the comments. You can include documentaries if you’d like. The Surf Report is not a police state. But I’m mostly talking about scripted dramas. Bring us up to date on it, won’t you?

If we are going into documentaries, a couple jump immediately to my mind: About the Young Idea, the story of The Jam, and We Jam Econo, about The Minutemen. I don’t even really like The Minutemen, but the documentary is great. I also recall one about Killer Kane, former bassist of The New York Dolls. That thing was a gut-punch, a really good movie. I think it was called New York Doll. Saw it on Netflix several years ago.

What do you have on this? Also, who would you like to see a movie about? A scripted biopic? Tom Cruise as GG Allin? Ha! That would be interesting. Tell us about it in the comments.

And don’t forget to click through one of our Amazon links prior to purchasing many high-ticket items, or whatever. Pass through any of them, shop as normal, and that’s all there is to it. They’ll peel off a very small percentage of whatever you spend, and send it my way. It’s an easy and painless way to support my efforts here. Thank you guys in advance.

I’ll be back on Thursday

Have a great week!

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Support us by doing your shopping on Amazon! In Canada? Here’s your link. Thank you, guys!

Ads vs. Reality: Thanksgiving Edition: Cracker Barrel Dinner For Six

I probably could’ve done a better job with the presentation of the turkey and stuffing. I just left it in the aluminum tray, which doesn’t look too inviting in the photo. But everything was good, and there are tons of leftovers. Next year we’ll pick it up later in the day because we were forced to reheat everything and that wasn’t an exact science. And I still think mac and cheese was a dubious choice, but whatever. Those two small containers in the middle are cranberry sauce (didn’t taste it) and gravy (salty!). The turkey and ham were fantastic, the green beans were smoky and delicious, and everything else was damn good as well. It was a 100% success, as far as I’m concerned. And everybody else seemed to enjoy it, as well.

I’ve just been informed that I will be going to a movie in an hour or so, the “Queen movie” I’m told. Hey, whatever. I just do as I’m told. How long is that thing? Is it one of those three-hour deals? Why are movies so long now? Poor storytelling ability? I’m just not sure. I’ll have an update on that experience, ASAP. Have you seen it? What did you think?

I saw the real Freddie Mercury once, in Charleston, WV. He asked the audience what they thought of his mustache and they booed. He said something like, “Oh yeah, like I’m going to take fashion advice from West Virginia.” Something along those lines. Needless to say, I was howling with laughter. As with many things, I don’t remember the show in great detail, but remember how I felt about it: a rockin’ good time. Are you familiar with that phenomenon? You just recall the emotions surrounding an event, and that’s about it?

I posted a new episode of the world famous podcast today, for patrons. I just re-listened to it, and it’s funny (I think). Check it out if you’re so inclined. Episode 40 already! Crazy. Here’s the summary:

In this one, I give you an update on my new gym membership and our Thanksgiving plans, along with many barely-related jags. Here at the home of the barely-related jag! Thank you guys for the support, and thanks for listening. And happy Thanksgiving!

This is a short one, but I’ve got the meat sweats. And God knows I won’t need any sodium for the next several months. Maybe I’ll attach a flask full of turkey gravy to my leg, for the movie? Not a bad idea!

Have a great holiday, my friends.

I’ll be back on Monday.

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Support us by doing your shopping on Amazon! In Canada? Here’s your link. Thank you, guys!

Updating An Earlier Story… Actually Three Of Them, Along With A Celebration Of Today’s Lunch!

Last time I mentioned how Thanksgiving dinner prep was already underway and my dream of a full-blown Cracker Barrel holiday would have to be put off for another year. Or at least until Christmas. Remember that? Well… I planted the seed and it’s already bearing fruit. Or something. A few days ago Toney said, “Hey, maybe we should just do that Cracker Barrel thing…” Completely unprompted.

Yes! So, it’s already ordered and scheduled for pick-up on Thursday. For our three additional sides (it comes with stuffing and gravy), we went with mashed potatoes, green beans, and macaroni & cheese. The last one is controversial in my mind, but the kids requested it. And we went with a 50/50 mix of biscuits and cornbread. I guess I’m good with that.

So, it’s going to be a Cracker Barrel Thanksgiving at Chez Kay. Just like I envisioned it in my fantasies! …I’m sorry, I’m getting a little emotional. In addition, I’ve been told that we’re having pumpkin pie (blecch) and apple pie (OK). I might have to go rogue and buy an additional pie. I’m not really a fan of the gourd-based desserts, and apple is good… but fairly predictable. I might have to shake things up in the pie realm. Sam’s Club always has delicious manhole cover-sized pies for sale. Maybe I’ll check that shit out? Stay tuned for additional updates on this important matter.

Also, I’ve been to the gym two days in a row, and plan to go again today. The first day was touch and go. I didn’t really understand how to program the treadmill, and it was semi-ridiculous for the first ten minutes or so. But I got the hang of it and walked for an hour, plus cool-down (ha!).  And yesterday I went in there like some grizzled pro and took care of business with purpose and confidence.

However… I have some observations. My welcome email said I’d receive the warmest greeting ever during my first visit, followed by a tour of the facility. But the greeting was lukewarm at best. The dude was fine, but fairly uninterested and just going through the motions. And I got no tour whatsoever. He just said, “Feel free to look around…” I have no problem with any of this, not really. I don’t need a tour, and certainly don’t require a warm greeting. But I was promised both. Ya know?

Also, they make a big show of offering free Tootsie Rolls to the members. Yeah, it’s weird… But it flashes on the TVs all the time: Help yourself to a handful of complimentary Tootsie Rolls after your workout. And they have a giant bucket of the things at the front desk. So… I grabbed three or four (they’re small), and all but one were grape flavored! What in the open and shut hell?? What kind of maniac eats grape Tootsie Rolls? Why are they even in production? I’m getting angry just thinking about it.

But, so far, it’s been pleasant. It’s never been super-busy in there, but not empty either. Just right in the zone where it doesn’t feel awkward or cause my blood pressure to spike out. And the machines are modern and clean, and seemingly all in operation. And there’s a shitload of ’em. It’s good. Yesterday I was sweating and hoping my underwear wasn’t made of some kind of flammable material. Oh, around the 45-minute mark it was a like a smelting furnace in there. Pass the beer nuts.

I’m off today, just burning that PTO… So, I’ll go over and do my 60-minute walk in a little while. Then immediately go somewhere and replace 150% of the calories burned. It’s the way I roll. But I just want the exercise. At this point, that’s the goal: daily exercise. Once that’s in place, I’ll look at other things. But people tend to get carried away and attempt too much too soon. I just want to walk every day. That’s the entire goal.

And finally, remember how I was scoffing at the idea of a major snowstorm in mid-November? Well… there are updates on that story as well. In fact, I did a full 30-minute Jeff Kay Show on the subject. You can check it out here, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can see that the episode has already received a rating of 8 out of 10 by Mike L. who offers up the world’s most uncomplicated podcast reviews. …He’s tough. He gave one episode a 6. It nearly ruined my day. But I’m happy with an 8. It gives me room for growth but isn’t low enough to crush me.

In any case, Thursday was The Longest Day. As one of the great philosophers once said, it sucked all the dicks. Check out Episode 39 of the podcast for the gory details. Episode 39! How’s that possible? Anyway…

I’ll leave you now with the simplest of Questions. What did you have for lunch today? Or what are you planning to have? I have a mid-level hankering for Chipotle (chicken bowl with white rice, black beans, mild salsa, corn salsa, sour cream, and shredded cheese). What do you have on this? Bring us up to date, won’t you?

And I’ll be back on Thursday, before the feast. Or maybe Friday. We’ll see how it goes. I might be too excited to type!

Please don’t forget to pass through one of our Amazon links if you’re planning to do some online shopping over the next few days. Just click through any of them, like the one at the bottom of this update, and shop as normal. It’ll cost you nothing extra but will help me a great deal. It’s much appreciated.

Have a great one, my friends!

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Support us by doing your shopping on Amazon! In Canada? Here’s your link. Thank you, guys!

Snow! Pies! Outsourcing Thanksgiving To The Professionals! Drug Kingpins! Black Friday!

Snow is on the way, apparently. Fantastic. Isn’t it a bit early in the season for this kind of madness? If it starts getting crazy out there, I might be taking another day off. Know what I’m saying? I have a 36-mile ride and am in no mood for “adventure.” We’ll see how it goes.

A couple of night ago I joined Planet Fitness, through their website. Ironically I was eating a delicious apple cider donut while doing it. However, as I type this, I still haven’t actually set foot inside the building, and don’t really know where it is. Feel the burn!

Also online, I was reading about the various offerings for pre-cooked and ready-for-pickup Thanksgiving dinners at Cracker Barrel. They have one that is extremely tempting.  It feeds six and features all the must-haves: turkey, ham, cornbread dressing, turkey gravy, cranberry relish, choice of three additional sides, choice of bread. Feeds six, for $68. I mean… that sounds almost too good to be true. No ripping apart the kitchen… no arguing… everything’s super-good…

Have you ever gone that route? Not necessarily Cracker Barrel, but just farmed out most of the cooking to a third party? How’d it work out for you? I don’t think it’s going to happen for us this year, ’cause Toney already has plans in motion. But I’d be willing to go all-in on it after Thanksgiving 2018. The picture at the top is directly from the Cracker Barrel site. Man, that’s good stuff.

Of course, you’d have to supplement with a lineup of pies. I’m not really a fan of pumpkin pie, and I’m definitely not a fan of “punkin'” pie. But I like many other pies, including apple, cherry, lemon meringue, blueberry (yum!), chocolate cream, and (controversial!) coconut cream.

On my “no thanks” pie list you’d find pumpkin, pecan, sweet potato (blecch), and peanut butter.

What do you have on this? And I’m talking about dessert pies… not chicken pot pie or those Euro meat pies. Sheesh. You know what I’m talking about. What goes on your Yes! list, and what goes on your No Thanks list? Specifically in the realm of pies.

What are your Thanksgiving plans? Do you travel? Do you do all the cooking? My parents are in Florida already, and Toney doesn’t talk to ol’ Sunny anymore. In fact, it’s been seven or eight years, I think. So, it’ll just be the four of us, and everything will be cooked in our kitchen, which might lead to arguments and all manner of unpleasantness. Or maybe not. We’ll see.

I couldn’t get Black Friday off, and more importantly… the easy creation of a big-honkin’ four-day weekend. Wotta ripoff. So, I’ll be back in there on Friday. My birthday is coming up though, and I took some time off around that. Not sure why, ’cause I don’t generally participate. But I’ve got time to burn before 12/31 and figured it made sense. Right? …Hello?

Speaking of “home” I saw this article yesterday about some fugitive drug kingpin from Detroit being captured in my hometown. WTF? Another article I read about it said he was part of some kind of gang called the Detroit Boys and was mistakenly released from prison about four years ago due to a clerical error. A clerical error?! And he was barricaded inside a house on 16th Street in Dunbar, WV?? I grew up on 17th Street, and my paper route included 16th Street. I don’t care for any of it. Is it turning into The Wire down there? And by the way… that guy has to have a street name, right? No way he’s walking around with that name. Am I wrong?

And speaking of Black Friday, is there anything you’re hoping to buy this year? Not necessarily as a gift, but just for yourself? But gifts too, if you want to share. I have two items: a new desktop computer (maybe just a tower, but I’m open to a whole new setup if feasible) and some kind of stereo (not a boombox) with which to play CDs. Remember those? My computer is fairly new, but it’s a lemon. Full-blown piece of shit. It needs to be hurled deep into a landfill. And home stereos are rare these days. I’m not talking about some pulsating Bluetooth nonsense. I mean an actual home stereo. Even on Amazon, there aren’t many of them. But I’ll be keeping my eyes open. Probably won’t buy anything, but I’ll be on high-alert. What about you.

Not sure what’s going on with the podcast. I don’t have it back yet and haven’t heard from the producer dude. I assume he’ll get it to me shortly, and I’ll post it ASAP. UPDATE: It’s up!

You guys have yourselves a great weekend!

Please don’t forget to use our Amazon links if you’re planning to do any semi-drunken shopping, or otherwise. Just click through, shop as normal, and they’ll peel off a tiny percentage of whatever you spend and send it my way. It’ll cost you nothing extra and helps me a great deal. Thanks in advance!

I’ll be back on Monday.

Now playing in the bunker

Support us by doing your shopping on Amazon! In Canada? Here’s your link. Thank you, guys!