Roxanne Roberts's Blog, page 9
September 13, 2012
Pour out your heart
The act of catharsis, of pouring out your pain, your joys, your woes, your hurts, your loves, your disappointments...everything... is a really helpful, healing and cleansing process. It is a great way to empty the vessel that is you of all the experiences that may prevent you moving forward or create road blocks, and leaving the door wide open for the next adventure.
Of course, best case scenario is having an amazing human being that will listen (without judgement or buying into those situations...and therefore putting fuel on the fire), yet sometimes this is either not possible, or not advisable. Keep in mind that it will HELP you to be SELECTIVE about the people you pour your heart out to, some people (unfortunately for them) really only desire something to gossip about, your heart is not safe with them.
There is another solution though...
Pour your heart out to your divine team, express yourself freely; you KNOW the divine is not collecting delicious bits of gossip to pass on. Naturally, nothing is a secret from the divine anyway, so they already know what's happening in your life, the benefit is for you.
Alternatively, pour out your heart on paper, write it all out until it's gone, then burn or bury the paper after wards.
The best thing about pouring your heart out to your divine team is that they support you in everything you do and in any choice that you make. Their love is without condition.
With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxox
Of course, best case scenario is having an amazing human being that will listen (without judgement or buying into those situations...and therefore putting fuel on the fire), yet sometimes this is either not possible, or not advisable. Keep in mind that it will HELP you to be SELECTIVE about the people you pour your heart out to, some people (unfortunately for them) really only desire something to gossip about, your heart is not safe with them.
There is another solution though...
Pour your heart out to your divine team, express yourself freely; you KNOW the divine is not collecting delicious bits of gossip to pass on. Naturally, nothing is a secret from the divine anyway, so they already know what's happening in your life, the benefit is for you.
Alternatively, pour out your heart on paper, write it all out until it's gone, then burn or bury the paper after wards.
The best thing about pouring your heart out to your divine team is that they support you in everything you do and in any choice that you make. Their love is without condition.
With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxox
September 11, 2012
Downloads
I have these moments sometimes, moments when I just seem to know exactly what is going to transpire, the exact right thing to say or do, the correct direction to take and all of the consequences that go with all of the possible options. I call these moments downloads ever since a beautiful friend of mine first mentioned the term. It really seemed to fit the circumstances. One moment I'm standing there (or whatever *smile*) and the next moment I am in the middle of actions or words I didn't even know were there or didn't know were needed.
These moments are the moments in time when I feel the closest to my divine team; so close that they are almost a tangible presence by my side. When I was just a bit younger, I was always at a loss to explain what was going on and some times, as a result, I did not act on the information I had because I didn't know or acknowledge where the information came from. I also faced a great deal of frustration at times because I KNEW exactly what would work or the right information, residing in a child's body and knowing answers you had no "tangible" way of knowing comes with some downfalls when you are trying to tell the adults around you what they need to know to "fix" the problem *laugh* I am sure you can imagine.
I am sure there have been moments in time where you have felt a similar experience. Sometimes we call it precognition, prescience, clairvoyance (really don't like that word), psychic....whatever... the important thing is not the name we give these moments, but allowing ourselves to trust this information as having a divine source.
These are the moments in time where everything is working perfectly, and like all skills, once practised, it gets easier and easier. Being able to listen to intuitive sparks and trust that the information you are receiving is genuine and guidance is a beautiful moment that helps the journey become smoother.
With love and light
(and an amazing sense of peace)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoox
These moments are the moments in time when I feel the closest to my divine team; so close that they are almost a tangible presence by my side. When I was just a bit younger, I was always at a loss to explain what was going on and some times, as a result, I did not act on the information I had because I didn't know or acknowledge where the information came from. I also faced a great deal of frustration at times because I KNEW exactly what would work or the right information, residing in a child's body and knowing answers you had no "tangible" way of knowing comes with some downfalls when you are trying to tell the adults around you what they need to know to "fix" the problem *laugh* I am sure you can imagine.
I am sure there have been moments in time where you have felt a similar experience. Sometimes we call it precognition, prescience, clairvoyance (really don't like that word), psychic....whatever... the important thing is not the name we give these moments, but allowing ourselves to trust this information as having a divine source.
These are the moments in time where everything is working perfectly, and like all skills, once practised, it gets easier and easier. Being able to listen to intuitive sparks and trust that the information you are receiving is genuine and guidance is a beautiful moment that helps the journey become smoother.
With love and light
(and an amazing sense of peace)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoox
September 10, 2012
Riding the whirlwind
This moment in time for me is a really dynamic, exciting and frenzied time. It is a moment where a million things and nothing are happening all at once. It is an awakening, a creative frenzy, a hypersensitive, emotive, uncontrolled delightful, scary whirlwind of energy...that's just how it is right now *smile*
Please don't think I have abandoned my writing or that my irregularity means anything other than the fact that I am really and truly just going where the wind takes me in this moment and loving every minute of it.
This is a time of immense growth and transition and development, a moment where my whole perception of reality is shifting and changing to meet the needs of the new me that is emerging; so please be patient with me as I, at times, shelter in the cocoon.
I have found the times when I a the most productive and where the perfect flow of events occurs when I am not trying to control, think about or give direction to anything going on around me. The creative explosions that happen every now again, like now, are times where all of those intentions sent out to the universe collide and manifest. The only way to get it all done is for me to just go with it, and abandon myself to the joy and every thing else that goes with it.
I am in love with this moment and all else has to stand by the wayside at times for me to move through *laugh* did that even make sense?
The secret, I think, to getting everything done that I plan to get done is to just step on into the whirlwind and follow my heart.
With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Please don't think I have abandoned my writing or that my irregularity means anything other than the fact that I am really and truly just going where the wind takes me in this moment and loving every minute of it.
This is a time of immense growth and transition and development, a moment where my whole perception of reality is shifting and changing to meet the needs of the new me that is emerging; so please be patient with me as I, at times, shelter in the cocoon.
I have found the times when I a the most productive and where the perfect flow of events occurs when I am not trying to control, think about or give direction to anything going on around me. The creative explosions that happen every now again, like now, are times where all of those intentions sent out to the universe collide and manifest. The only way to get it all done is for me to just go with it, and abandon myself to the joy and every thing else that goes with it.
I am in love with this moment and all else has to stand by the wayside at times for me to move through *laugh* did that even make sense?
The secret, I think, to getting everything done that I plan to get done is to just step on into the whirlwind and follow my heart.
With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
September 8, 2012
The Power to move on
Have you ever felt that you were a bit stuck where you are? That there is something holding you back from moving on or moving forward? That everywhere you turn there are road blocks?
I have SO been in this space, many, many, many (OK you get the message *smile*) times. It's not a particularly nice place to be actually.
There is one method I have found work EVERY time to help propel me forward again; not slowly creeping, or barely moving, but propels me at a run into the next stage of this magnificent journey.
I'm not sure you're going to like it, I know I didn't the first, second, third and possibly even fourth and fifth time I heard it *laugh* however, I will pass it on to you and let you be the judge.
We all know by now that the only REAL obstacle in our path is ourselves (damn it all) and so then, to get past a blockage, we need to look within.
I was looking back at myself just recently, I took a peek into my memories and dredged up the 15 year old me. Essentially, the same girl; MAJOR difference being that my temper was on a far shorter fuse, and the results spectacular!!!!! and NOT in a good way. I used my knowledge of words to systematically cut down any one I thought of as threatening, which is to say getting to close to me, and I was ruthless in my determination to remove any "threat". I was sorry afterwards of course, but that sorrow turned rather quickly to self pity. I held a grudge against anyone I thought had wronged me, and once my enmity was gained, there was never any forgiveness or compassion ever again. Nice piece of work huh? I really was a nice girl and I did love and care for my friends and strive to be good, it wasn't all bad *wry grin* Unless of course you were on the receiving end of some of that other stuff....*cringe*
So what's my point; the purpose for bringing 15 year old Roxanne out for introductions?
In order to move forward from this point and to grow and mature, the very first thing I had to do was look myself in the eye and take ownership of the person I was at current. Without rancour, without sorrow and most DEFINITELY without judgement, I looked at myself and decided I did not like the person I was currently showing to the outside world.
Having taken responsibility for the person I was, and acknowledging that I had a choice about the behaviours I showed and the actions I took, I was then free to forgive myself and start to make changes.
When I feel as though I am stuck, when the "I'm a little hard done by" moments emerge, when I think there are "things" holding me back, the FIRST thing I do now is look myself in the eye!
As hard as it may be to hear and to accept, we are the creators of our current situation, and only we have the power to transform ourselves and our lives in order to propel us into a new future.
With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
I have SO been in this space, many, many, many (OK you get the message *smile*) times. It's not a particularly nice place to be actually.
There is one method I have found work EVERY time to help propel me forward again; not slowly creeping, or barely moving, but propels me at a run into the next stage of this magnificent journey.
I'm not sure you're going to like it, I know I didn't the first, second, third and possibly even fourth and fifth time I heard it *laugh* however, I will pass it on to you and let you be the judge.
We all know by now that the only REAL obstacle in our path is ourselves (damn it all) and so then, to get past a blockage, we need to look within.
I was looking back at myself just recently, I took a peek into my memories and dredged up the 15 year old me. Essentially, the same girl; MAJOR difference being that my temper was on a far shorter fuse, and the results spectacular!!!!! and NOT in a good way. I used my knowledge of words to systematically cut down any one I thought of as threatening, which is to say getting to close to me, and I was ruthless in my determination to remove any "threat". I was sorry afterwards of course, but that sorrow turned rather quickly to self pity. I held a grudge against anyone I thought had wronged me, and once my enmity was gained, there was never any forgiveness or compassion ever again. Nice piece of work huh? I really was a nice girl and I did love and care for my friends and strive to be good, it wasn't all bad *wry grin* Unless of course you were on the receiving end of some of that other stuff....*cringe*
So what's my point; the purpose for bringing 15 year old Roxanne out for introductions?
In order to move forward from this point and to grow and mature, the very first thing I had to do was look myself in the eye and take ownership of the person I was at current. Without rancour, without sorrow and most DEFINITELY without judgement, I looked at myself and decided I did not like the person I was currently showing to the outside world.
Having taken responsibility for the person I was, and acknowledging that I had a choice about the behaviours I showed and the actions I took, I was then free to forgive myself and start to make changes.
When I feel as though I am stuck, when the "I'm a little hard done by" moments emerge, when I think there are "things" holding me back, the FIRST thing I do now is look myself in the eye!
As hard as it may be to hear and to accept, we are the creators of our current situation, and only we have the power to transform ourselves and our lives in order to propel us into a new future.
With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
September 6, 2012
Meditation tip
Tonight/today (depending in which time zone you happen to be in *smile*) I thought I might take you through one of my favourite visualisations for relaxing and healing. Meditation (like all things spiritual) is a really personal thing, so I really am not going to be offended if you are not partial to this one, however, it helps me immensely in times of difficulty, so I thought it might be helpful.
When I have had a particularly, shall we say "challenging"?, day I lay flat on my back to help me breathe deeply into my belly. I close my eyes and imagine a soft wave flowing up from my toes. I see myself lying on a white sandy beach with my feet in the water as the tide gently comes in. The water laps at my toes, the next wave comes to my knees and so on right up to my chin. As each wave rolls out again, it takes from me all the troubles and cares that have built up in my body throughout the day.
With each breath out, I release the need to hold on to experiences that have caused me hurt or sadness. With each breath in, in inhale the love of the divine and the wisdom to know that my purpose is to be happy.
With this visualisation and through the power of these words I reconfirm my commitment to a loving and forgiving life filled with the purpose of being happy.
Take a moment and, in whichever way suits you best, reconfirm your love and commitment for yourself and your belief that you are amazing.
With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
When I have had a particularly, shall we say "challenging"?, day I lay flat on my back to help me breathe deeply into my belly. I close my eyes and imagine a soft wave flowing up from my toes. I see myself lying on a white sandy beach with my feet in the water as the tide gently comes in. The water laps at my toes, the next wave comes to my knees and so on right up to my chin. As each wave rolls out again, it takes from me all the troubles and cares that have built up in my body throughout the day.
With each breath out, I release the need to hold on to experiences that have caused me hurt or sadness. With each breath in, in inhale the love of the divine and the wisdom to know that my purpose is to be happy.
With this visualisation and through the power of these words I reconfirm my commitment to a loving and forgiving life filled with the purpose of being happy.
Take a moment and, in whichever way suits you best, reconfirm your love and commitment for yourself and your belief that you are amazing.
With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
September 5, 2012
Heal insecurities
It seems there is a bit of a theme to the last few posts...*laugh* not really all that surprising, because when I look back on the things I have been asked to type, they all point to a very similar message over all...
love yourself as you are loved by the divine, then love others in the same way!
One of the things I have learnt over quite a few years of teaching (possibly more than I am willing to commit to *smile*) is that all learning and growing comes down to one thing...confidence. It is the willingness to try coupled with confidence in your own ability to make the best of a situation that leads ultimately to success. At times, we are our own worst enemy in this respect.
Healing insecurities (and make no mistake, these are NOT of divine origin, are NOT real, and most definitely are NOT helpful to you in anyway) is a process that is unique to you. I can offer some suggestions based on how I look my insecurities in the face and tell them to "get lost" but ultimately, this one is totally and completely down to each person individually.
Initially, as I began the journey of loving myself enough to live my divine life, this was my biggest hurdle. I lacked confidence in nearly everything. My first step was to write out the person I wanted to be. I wrote a list of criteria that described the perfect me. In reality, this person, this perfect me already existed because it is the real me, the one that did not learn fear and other human constructs. Each time I thought less of myself about something I would go to my list and remind myself of who I AM and I would mentally give myself a shake. It might be something as simple as, "Those people are not laughing at the way I am dressed, or walk or talk, they are best friends who just shared a loving joke and funny story."
By doing this, I began (slowly) to change the filter through which I viewed the actions of others.
When I was a bit braver *smile* I asked some people I trusted to write me a list of my best qualities and the things they thought I was great at. I still have these lists. This was an amazing exercise, I had NO IDEA people thought I was so fabulous and talented?????
By doing this, I began (slowly) to see myself as the people who love me see me, and I began to change the filter through which I viewed myself.
I went back in time in my imagination and had a conversation with the primary school me. This is where I learnt insecurity from. I spoke to her at length and offered her the wisdom and courage of more years, and told her she was/is amazing and special and loved.
By doing this, I began to heal the hurts that made me feel less than.
Now, I make the decision that people will judge me no matter what I do, so I may as well be me, get on with living my life and ignore the perception of others.
With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxo
love yourself as you are loved by the divine, then love others in the same way!
One of the things I have learnt over quite a few years of teaching (possibly more than I am willing to commit to *smile*) is that all learning and growing comes down to one thing...confidence. It is the willingness to try coupled with confidence in your own ability to make the best of a situation that leads ultimately to success. At times, we are our own worst enemy in this respect.
Healing insecurities (and make no mistake, these are NOT of divine origin, are NOT real, and most definitely are NOT helpful to you in anyway) is a process that is unique to you. I can offer some suggestions based on how I look my insecurities in the face and tell them to "get lost" but ultimately, this one is totally and completely down to each person individually.
Initially, as I began the journey of loving myself enough to live my divine life, this was my biggest hurdle. I lacked confidence in nearly everything. My first step was to write out the person I wanted to be. I wrote a list of criteria that described the perfect me. In reality, this person, this perfect me already existed because it is the real me, the one that did not learn fear and other human constructs. Each time I thought less of myself about something I would go to my list and remind myself of who I AM and I would mentally give myself a shake. It might be something as simple as, "Those people are not laughing at the way I am dressed, or walk or talk, they are best friends who just shared a loving joke and funny story."
By doing this, I began (slowly) to change the filter through which I viewed the actions of others.
When I was a bit braver *smile* I asked some people I trusted to write me a list of my best qualities and the things they thought I was great at. I still have these lists. This was an amazing exercise, I had NO IDEA people thought I was so fabulous and talented?????
By doing this, I began (slowly) to see myself as the people who love me see me, and I began to change the filter through which I viewed myself.
I went back in time in my imagination and had a conversation with the primary school me. This is where I learnt insecurity from. I spoke to her at length and offered her the wisdom and courage of more years, and told her she was/is amazing and special and loved.
By doing this, I began to heal the hurts that made me feel less than.
Now, I make the decision that people will judge me no matter what I do, so I may as well be me, get on with living my life and ignore the perception of others.
With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxo
September 4, 2012
Why would you care?????
I down loaded this photo today from a facebook page called Lessons Learnt in Life and was really inspired by the message. It got me to thinking again about the attraction principle.
Spending time on the negative things, negative people or their actions, only puts the intent out to the universe that you would like to receive more of the same. The universe only provides, or you only attract, more of what you think the most about.
I was thinking also of all the time and energy I have consciously invested in dwelling on an aspect of my day which may have involved people being mean, nasty and downright horrible either to me or to someone else. These actions make me a little mad, they definitely make me feel sad and heart weary and also tend to give me a feeling of helplessness to help another see that their actions only cause hurt.
This image was/is a perfect divine reminder that while people may choose their actions to be hurtful and negative, that does not mean it has to be their impact.
Letting go of the actions of others, taking on board only those things that make you feel joyful and full of light, and spending time and energy only on those who share that joy is an amazing way to turn your life to the path you choose for yourself.
With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
September 2, 2012
It's not my story
One of the things I have remembered lately (and have to be reminded of frequently) is the concept, "It's not my story." Usually this remembering comes on the back of me attempting to make someone elses story mine *wry grin*
By this I mean buying into the story of others as they tell it to me, getting emotionally involved, when really, the best thing I could do for them is to be a good listener and that's it. As an indigo warrior, I am easily riled at times by things that are unjust, dishonest or mean. It makes me want to take my sword from the scabbard and leap to the defence...*laugh* In reality? This is not my story, and I am not required to change it, nor to do anything about it unless prompted (and that's rare) other than listen and offer comfort.
When I buy into the pain of someone else and become emotionally involved, I am actually NOT helping. It took me a long time to remember this. It is through seeing objectively and offering solace without judgement that I can actually help in the healing process. It feels like I am helping sometimes to be horrified at an injustice, to voice my outrage at a situation, to leap immediately to the defence...all I am really doing though, is feeding fuel to the fire...this is never helpful.
I coach myself to not give energy to perceived negative experiences by going on about them and yet, in the guise of "helping" I have encouraged others at times to rehash and allowed them to continue to feed energy into a situation. This is not intentional, but this is what is actually happening.
By reminding myself, "This is not my story" I am able to step away from judgement and from adding energy into an already negative situation. I am less likely t carry this away with me too.
By listening to someone who is hurting, but making no comment that is a judgement or condemnation, I am helping the other person to move on and past their situation as well.
In anyone's life, no matter what is happening, I find I need to remind myself that I don't know the whole story, I cannot change their circumstances even though I can see clearly what would help at times, The ONLY person who can change a life story is the person who's story it is. "It's not my story" doesn't mean I don't care about the plight of others, it doesn't mean I won't help or can't help, it doesn't mean the same thing as "It's not my problem...good luck with that" it means that I acknowledge that the person who is hurting has the power and knowledge inside of them to change their own story. My role is to listen, and to be compassionate and loving...that is more than enough.
With love and light (and the knowledge that you are all powerful)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo
By this I mean buying into the story of others as they tell it to me, getting emotionally involved, when really, the best thing I could do for them is to be a good listener and that's it. As an indigo warrior, I am easily riled at times by things that are unjust, dishonest or mean. It makes me want to take my sword from the scabbard and leap to the defence...*laugh* In reality? This is not my story, and I am not required to change it, nor to do anything about it unless prompted (and that's rare) other than listen and offer comfort.
When I buy into the pain of someone else and become emotionally involved, I am actually NOT helping. It took me a long time to remember this. It is through seeing objectively and offering solace without judgement that I can actually help in the healing process. It feels like I am helping sometimes to be horrified at an injustice, to voice my outrage at a situation, to leap immediately to the defence...all I am really doing though, is feeding fuel to the fire...this is never helpful.
I coach myself to not give energy to perceived negative experiences by going on about them and yet, in the guise of "helping" I have encouraged others at times to rehash and allowed them to continue to feed energy into a situation. This is not intentional, but this is what is actually happening.
By reminding myself, "This is not my story" I am able to step away from judgement and from adding energy into an already negative situation. I am less likely t carry this away with me too.
By listening to someone who is hurting, but making no comment that is a judgement or condemnation, I am helping the other person to move on and past their situation as well.
In anyone's life, no matter what is happening, I find I need to remind myself that I don't know the whole story, I cannot change their circumstances even though I can see clearly what would help at times, The ONLY person who can change a life story is the person who's story it is. "It's not my story" doesn't mean I don't care about the plight of others, it doesn't mean I won't help or can't help, it doesn't mean the same thing as "It's not my problem...good luck with that" it means that I acknowledge that the person who is hurting has the power and knowledge inside of them to change their own story. My role is to listen, and to be compassionate and loving...that is more than enough.
With love and light (and the knowledge that you are all powerful)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo
September 1, 2012
Decisions based on fear
Today I was once again reminded of the result of making decisions based on a fearful way of looking. I am not talking about our body's finely tuned mechanism that intuitively warns us that we are about to embark on something that is physically harmful...that is a safety mechanism and one we would all do well to heed. I am talking about the little voice in my head that starts throwing up objections every time I am thinking about making massive (or sometimes even small) changes to my life or way of being.
For instance, there was a time not long ago when I felt the desire/need to step away from classroom teaching. It is a very full on job and the work done with these amazing souls is best done when feeling fully refreshed and resilient. At this particular time, I was feeling neither of those things and I really wanted to step away and just be me for a bit. The first thing that popped into my mind was thoughts like, "You can't give up a well paying job that is consistent and reliable just to "fluff" around and draw pictures and write stories all day. What will your family do for food? How will you pay the rent? That's really selfish, your children will suffer." This thought pattern kept me working in the job for several more months, meanwhile, I was getting more and more depleted, the students were noticing I lacked the verve they were used to, and honestly, it would have been better for all involved had I not been there. I sat down again with some quiet space to "think" this through (I know right? THINK!!!!! I needed to FEEL) and my brain, based in a position of fear, came up with the same objections. I mulled over this for a little bit and then I distinctly heard the voice of my team assuring me that I was always looked after, that I had nothing to fear, that I could make the decision that felt right and not concern myself with the details. "Yeah right," I heard myself replying wryly, "Easy for you guys to say, you don't have kids to feed or any other human obligation." I pouted for a bit and I am certain I heard a soft sigh on the wind. I went back to work for another week but by the end of that week I knew I would possibly be doing more harm than good if I stayed. As much as it pained me to leave the beautiful students I was working with, I took leave from the following week.
My heart was pounding in my chest, all of those "fears" popped up in my head over and over again. Each time one surfaced, I asked Raphael to take it away, I just kept offering all of those fears and worries to the universe and hoping for the best possible outcome. I spent the first week in silence with me (I LOVE silence *smile) not trying to do, think or be anything. I ate veggies from my garden, prepared food for my kids, avoided speaking to anyone outside of my sacred space (home) and just took time to stop. The money concerns returned and I did my level best to keep handing all of these situations over to the divine and follow my instinct and intuition. Into the second week, out of the blue, and earth angel from the insurance company for my superannuation called me. She had found out I was not at work, and was wondering if I needed to access my income protection insurance!!!!!!!!! HOLY COW, since when do insurance companies ring and ask if you want to make a claim? She walked me through the process and then made monthly phone calls to check and see if there wasn't anything else the company could do for me. Money problem sorted! Thank you divine team.
If I had listened to the fear based perception, and not stepped away, there is a REALLY good chance that I would have completely burned out and could not have entered a classroom again.
All those fears? All those things I worried and stressed about? They weren't real! There was nothing to suggest that they would happen, only my brain believing and trying to convince my heart that they would happen. I heard this saying once that I really love, F.E.A.R. is really False Evidence Appearing Real! My family and I were fine, there was nothing to worry about, I took the time I needed, wrote two more stories, spent quality time with my kids, healed, refreshed and restored and then launched back into the classroom to have done some of my best work yet!
Fear will only serve to hold you where you are, safe in your comfort zone. Be brave, believe and take a running jump to meet fear head on.
You are loved, protected and always safe.
With love and light
xoxoxooooooo
For instance, there was a time not long ago when I felt the desire/need to step away from classroom teaching. It is a very full on job and the work done with these amazing souls is best done when feeling fully refreshed and resilient. At this particular time, I was feeling neither of those things and I really wanted to step away and just be me for a bit. The first thing that popped into my mind was thoughts like, "You can't give up a well paying job that is consistent and reliable just to "fluff" around and draw pictures and write stories all day. What will your family do for food? How will you pay the rent? That's really selfish, your children will suffer." This thought pattern kept me working in the job for several more months, meanwhile, I was getting more and more depleted, the students were noticing I lacked the verve they were used to, and honestly, it would have been better for all involved had I not been there. I sat down again with some quiet space to "think" this through (I know right? THINK!!!!! I needed to FEEL) and my brain, based in a position of fear, came up with the same objections. I mulled over this for a little bit and then I distinctly heard the voice of my team assuring me that I was always looked after, that I had nothing to fear, that I could make the decision that felt right and not concern myself with the details. "Yeah right," I heard myself replying wryly, "Easy for you guys to say, you don't have kids to feed or any other human obligation." I pouted for a bit and I am certain I heard a soft sigh on the wind. I went back to work for another week but by the end of that week I knew I would possibly be doing more harm than good if I stayed. As much as it pained me to leave the beautiful students I was working with, I took leave from the following week.
My heart was pounding in my chest, all of those "fears" popped up in my head over and over again. Each time one surfaced, I asked Raphael to take it away, I just kept offering all of those fears and worries to the universe and hoping for the best possible outcome. I spent the first week in silence with me (I LOVE silence *smile) not trying to do, think or be anything. I ate veggies from my garden, prepared food for my kids, avoided speaking to anyone outside of my sacred space (home) and just took time to stop. The money concerns returned and I did my level best to keep handing all of these situations over to the divine and follow my instinct and intuition. Into the second week, out of the blue, and earth angel from the insurance company for my superannuation called me. She had found out I was not at work, and was wondering if I needed to access my income protection insurance!!!!!!!!! HOLY COW, since when do insurance companies ring and ask if you want to make a claim? She walked me through the process and then made monthly phone calls to check and see if there wasn't anything else the company could do for me. Money problem sorted! Thank you divine team.
If I had listened to the fear based perception, and not stepped away, there is a REALLY good chance that I would have completely burned out and could not have entered a classroom again.
All those fears? All those things I worried and stressed about? They weren't real! There was nothing to suggest that they would happen, only my brain believing and trying to convince my heart that they would happen. I heard this saying once that I really love, F.E.A.R. is really False Evidence Appearing Real! My family and I were fine, there was nothing to worry about, I took the time I needed, wrote two more stories, spent quality time with my kids, healed, refreshed and restored and then launched back into the classroom to have done some of my best work yet!
Fear will only serve to hold you where you are, safe in your comfort zone. Be brave, believe and take a running jump to meet fear head on.
You are loved, protected and always safe.
With love and light
xoxoxooooooo
August 28, 2012
Clearing can be uncomfortable
For my body and self, as a full moon approaches, I seem to begin a clearing process. I don't know exactly why this happens this way or why, but never-the-less, it does happen *smile*
This process is somewhat uncomfortable at times and the worst part of it is that I am totally NOT in control of the situation *wry grin*
As I lay down to sleep, all manner of past experiences start to filter through my head, as I attempt to drift off to sleep, up they come...these could be things as long ago as 20 years (damn this wise one memory at times *laugh*) I call on Archangel Michael to cut all ties and cords to these situations and immediately they are gone, never to be revisited, however, at this particular time, one situation is replaced by another, and still another and I find I am spending several days feeling the emotion of past embarrassments, situations where I didn't do my best, where I was harmed or where I caused harm and the like. Truly uncomfortable.
As I cut the ties, with the help of my divine team of course, I am uncomfortable for a few moments at a time (I haven't always been very nice *sad face*) but then I move on. At the end of these very uncomfortable few days, I feel much better. I consciously let go of all these situations and forgive myself my mistakes and others their mistakes. When the full moon arrives, I feel fresh and ready for a new start.
While forgiving yourself and clearing the path of past experiences may be uncomfortable for a few moments, it means we are getting ready to move forward...definitely worth it.
With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
This process is somewhat uncomfortable at times and the worst part of it is that I am totally NOT in control of the situation *wry grin*
As I lay down to sleep, all manner of past experiences start to filter through my head, as I attempt to drift off to sleep, up they come...these could be things as long ago as 20 years (damn this wise one memory at times *laugh*) I call on Archangel Michael to cut all ties and cords to these situations and immediately they are gone, never to be revisited, however, at this particular time, one situation is replaced by another, and still another and I find I am spending several days feeling the emotion of past embarrassments, situations where I didn't do my best, where I was harmed or where I caused harm and the like. Truly uncomfortable.
As I cut the ties, with the help of my divine team of course, I am uncomfortable for a few moments at a time (I haven't always been very nice *sad face*) but then I move on. At the end of these very uncomfortable few days, I feel much better. I consciously let go of all these situations and forgive myself my mistakes and others their mistakes. When the full moon arrives, I feel fresh and ready for a new start.
While forgiving yourself and clearing the path of past experiences may be uncomfortable for a few moments, it means we are getting ready to move forward...definitely worth it.
With love and light
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
