Lela Davidson's Blog, page 23

Sh*t Moms Do… When Kids Are at School

I had so much fun making this video, and fun as it would have been to surprise my kids with it, I had to do it with them. How else was I going to learn to say “Mortar strike!” and “Noobs” with authority?

As kids across the country head back to school, the iVoices on iVillage reveal what moms really do while the kids are gone all day.

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Published on September 07, 2012 04:08

Summer Was HOT at My House!

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I worked hard this summer. Really very hard. I did not spend any of it on a beach. I’m not proud of that, but at least I was productive. Here are the highlights

For the entire month of July I hosted a great big birthday party for Blacklisted from the PTA , which was fun and enlightening. And tiring. No one can party that hard for that long.
Had 15 different essays and articles appear in 24 magazines around the country.
Attended BlogHer in New York City.
Contributed to iVillage videos about “having it all,” back-to-school money saving advice, and Sh*t Moms Do When Kids Go Back to School.
Contributed a slide show of sleep tips from real moms and contributed to another slide show for iVillage. Both were featured with Michelle Obama’s curated content during the First Lady’s week as Guest Editor!
Tackled spoiled American children, Nipplegate, imaginary Olympic events for moms, a couple of Oklahoma education debacles, and whether or not it’s okay to pay someone to teach your kid to ride a bike for NBC News/TODAY Moms.
Gave the keynote address at the Arkansas Women Bloggers Unplugged retreat in Mountain View, Arkansas.

Image: mdanys, Flickr

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Published on September 06, 2012 05:05

Should We Teach Children to Follow Their Passions?

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At book club last month, we started talking about careers, tough choices, and “following your passion.” As a former CPA making not much money, turned freelance writer and author making not much money, I fought the good fight for figuring out what the hell you love to do and going after it like a woman crazed. Especially because in the context of this conversation, we weren’t just talking about ourselves, but also about how to advise our children.

Should they follow their passions, or remain content to chase cash and illusive “certainty” at the risk of hating their jobs?

Don’t get me wrong, I like money. I’ve also seen too many people who tip over the line from maintaining a comfortable life to chasing contentment through stuff and a false sense of security that money can buy. That said, I’m not living within the means I bring into the bank account. If my situation suddenly changed, if I could no longer count on another household income, I would likely sign up for the nearest steady paycheck and subsidized medical insurance. But everyone’s situation is different. And we’re talking about the next generation, how we guide them into the many decisions of their working lives. I think we need to encourage them in their “passions,” their natural abilities, the things that hold their interest.

A friend of mine disagreed, based on watching too many people in her graduate program rack up six-figure debt in the pursuit of passion. She would probably agree with Cal Newport, who wrote in a recent CNN post:

If you believe that we all have a pre-existing passion, and that matching this to a job will lead to instant workplace bliss, then reality will always pale in comparison. Work is hard. Not every day is fun. Building the skills that ultimately lead to a compelling career can take years of effort. If you’re seeking a dream job, you’ll end up disappointed, again and again.

I agree with Newport, too, to a point. Who said anything about instant bliss? Why does it have to be one way or the other?

I believe in nurturing the idea that there is something each of us is born to do, and that discovering that thing is valuable–whether or not our special something can be translated into food on the table. Maybe your passion is not a career, but you pursue it anyway, and that gives you something to look forward to during less-than-fulfilling workdays, and that makes you a more positive person, and opens up opportunities you never could have imagined.

Or maybe it’s just fun.

I also want to teach my children that a satisfying day at work, followed by beans and cornbread can beat years of bad days that end in filet mignon.

I like to talk. Who knew I could get paid for it?

Well, I did, in a way. Even way back when I was even more pragmatic than I am today–when I chose the tangible skill of accounting versus some amorphous marketing degree, I sort of knew. I recall an interview with a partner at Arthur Andersen where I ended up interning and working after I graduated. He wanted to know what I saw myself doing, you know, eventually. (They valued ambition, before the fall.) Somewhere I had read that executives spent something like 80% of their work day communicating, so I told this partner that’s what I wanted to do–to take over his office and spend all day talking on the phone and going to lunch. This was 1996. Mark Zuckerberg was only 12, or else I’m sure I would have thrown in something about Facebook.

I got the job. I was good at it, in part because I talked too much. And I developed skills that I draw on today. Skill building, Newport believes, is a key to developing passion for your work. He also says that clearly identified pre-existing passions are rare, that people derive work satisfaction from a combination of autonomy, respect, competence, creativity, and/or a sense of impact.

Again, I agree. But here’s the thing–aren’t we naturally more competent and more creative when our work is aligned with our natural interests and abilities? And yes, those are present very early on. Ask any mother. Call them passions, or not, but when we’re better, we earn more respect and autonomy, and make a greater impact on others.

Passion for the work you do in the world is a worthy goal. It’s the reason I let my kids make a mess and figure out how to solve their own problems. It’s the reason I step in when they need help. It’s the reason I watch to see what makes their eyes narrow in concentration and sparkle in excitement.

Following Your Passion: Maybe it’s corny as the stuff of daytime TV, but until we have a better phrase, it’s all we’ve got.

What do you think? Should we teach our kids to find the unique purpose, or strive for financial comfort and security?

Image: rolands.lakis, Flickr

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Published on September 05, 2012 05:50

Would You Hire Someone to Teach Your Kid to Ride?

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Teaching your child to ride a bike is so passé. You may think it’s your job to teach balancing, pedaling, and braking, but busy parents now have options.

Canadian writer Rebecca Eckler recently confessed to hiring a professional bike-riding counselor toschool her daughter in the ways of training wheels and banana seats. Oh, the horror, right? What’s next — a professional Tooth Fairy and an after-school nurse to kiss boo-boos?

The future of parenting is outsourcing!

Nick Pavlakis from Vancouver, B.C.-based Pedalheads says the bicycle instruction business is booming because parents don’t have time and they lack skills. “A lot of parents come to us and they’ve tried on their own and found it to be quite a struggle.”

In Eckler’s case, squeamishness drove her to seek help.

Read the rest of this post on TODAY Moms

Image: Richo.Fan, Flickr

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Published on September 04, 2012 05:47

Is Your Minivan Bleeding You Dry?

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Here’s something I wrote for Chicago Parent. There are some good tips here, though none as good as finding a magical credit card you never have to pay off. It’s the one with unicorn on it. Until you find that, walk, carpool and use these tips to cut costs on daily travel now and you may just bank enough for a road trip next summer.

1 Lay off the oil

Unless you’re driving in extreme conditions, you’re fine to go a little longer between oil changes than your father might have you believe. What’s extreme? Consumer Reports defines it as stop-and-go driving, frequent towing, mountainous terrain or dusty conditions. According to the experts, modern engines require oil changes only every 7,500 miles or so.

Read the rest of this post on Chicago Parent

Image: Images_of_Money, Flickr

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Published on August 31, 2012 15:07

Arkansas Women Bloggers Badassery

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This is what #badassery looks like. I’m not even kidding.

I spent last weekend with some amazing women. I’m always amazed when a plan comes together, and especially so when those who organize it are so laid back as to trick me into thinking that pulling it together was hardly any work at all. I can tell you everyone involved with the Arkansas Women Bloggers Unplugged retreat was a total pro. Stephanie, Julie, and Beth just know how to get things done. And I hate to single them out because I think just about every woman at the retreat — and that one guy, who was that guy, my husband really wants to know — everyone contributed.

I had to miss the inaugural event last year, and I don’t know why, but it won’t happen again. It was great to get the Northwest Arkansas girls together with the Central Arkansas girls, and everyone in between. It even made me feel a little like a local, and not just some Benton County transient–even though I know fully that’s what I am.

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Ziplock? Oh, yeah, kids– that’s blogger swag.

I brought them all. Yes, this was a family affair. My family was especially impressed when they found the Ziplock swag waiting in our room. “Is this FREE?”

“Baby, that’s swag.”

“But it’s free, right? We get to keep it?”

And I kid you not, this enthusiasm was over Ziplock containers. My husband got especially giddy over the glass ones.

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Just some of the girls from the #479.

I love hanging out with these girls. They keep teaching me new things every day. Plus, they make me laugh, and they humor me when I ask them to tweet me some #badassery.

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How cute is Paige?

Here is Paige fulfilling her life-long dream to get her picture taken with lips. I did not, could not, make that up.

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Baby got boots.

This was the very exciting part of the evening when Country Outfitters hooked all the blogger babes up with boots. I’m pretty sure I’m not getting these back. But stay tuned because they are letting me give away a pair right here. I’ll post the details in a couple of weeks, but it’s a sweet deal for one of y’all. (Yes, you will have to enter the giveaway with an accent.)

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Stephanie McCratic, Director of Social Media for Acumen Brands, rockstar, potty training expert.

She’s not just an Evolved Mommy, she’s also the Oprah of boots! #oobs

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Here’s Paige, the new brand ambassador for Country Outfitters. How cute is she?

See that smile? That’s what Approaching Joy looks like. Beautiful and stylish.

There were old friends–too many to mention, and new–I’ll be in touch, eventually.

You can read everyone’s impressions here. And then cry from jealously and shame that you were somewhere else instead.

If you’ve heard about #AWBU the last couple of years but didn’t quite make it, keep a look out for next year. Save me a clear SOLO cup and a seat on the bale of hay.

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Published on August 30, 2012 14:36

Back to School Savings [in] Sanity

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Here I am with my iVoices peeps Beth Engelman, Amanda Rodriguez, Marie Stroughter and Stephanie Dulli sharing our best tips for saving time, money and back-to-school sanity. Mine’s all about procrastination. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

How do you save money this time of year? Because I just replaced an A/C unit, so I can use all the advice you have!

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Published on August 30, 2012 12:00

Michelle Obama, Girlfriend Time, and Back-to-School Awesomeness

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First Lady Michelle Obama is guest editor this week on iVillage. I had no ideas when the editors asked for my thoughts on nurturing and protecting girlfriend time, that they would be included along with advice from Michelle Obama and her friends. Naturally, I’m a little excited about that!

But also guilty.

You see, I had all kinds of good intentions to post and cross post and promote the goodness on iVillage this week. But then it suddenly got all hot newsy around here. Oklahoma was the center of the parenting news universe when a high school denied its valedictorian her diploma and I had to go and advocate the minority view that she should have apologized. Then a Kindergartner had to change his offensive Michigan shirt and I could not help but offer some measured opinion on that.

Serious happenings here in the heartland.

Yesterday I realized the real mom sleep advice piece I contributed had been published and was also part of the First Lady’s editorial curated content. How cool is that? So much fun for me and all my friends and acquaintances who contributed their personal stories to that.

Contributing to this weird and fun week is that it’s the first week back for my youngest, meaning I have been working on all cylinders amid the child-free days. And I’m speaking tomorrow at the Arkansas Women Bloggers Unplugged Conference tomorrow. (Which also means I have to find my way through the Ozarks to a place called Mountain View tonight. Could be interesting.) If ever I needed to unplug, it’s this weekend.

Did I mention this is my favorite season? Early fall–not later when all the holidays accumulate and clog my brain like too much eggnog–but right now, while everything is first-day-of-school new. It’s the season of possibility and I plan to milk it for all I can before the dark post-holiday winter begins. You with me?

I hope you’ll join me in celebrating this very fun season. Check out some of the special back to school stories on iVillage. Kelly Wallace’s video interviews with Mrs. Obama are warm and chatty, and they reinforced for me that no matter what you’re doing or where you are, we’re all in this together.

Image: screenshot from iVillage.com

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Published on August 24, 2012 10:47

Real Moms Share Bedtime Tricks That Really Work

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My children have always been good sleepers. When I took my first baby home he would have been happy to sleep through the night. I had to wake him up to feed him, and then do all kinds of maternal tricks to keep him from falling asleep mid-nurse. I know I’m wildly fortunate, and to be honest, other than my bordering-on-obsessive love of routine, I haven’t had to employ any tricks to get my kids to sleep. I realize not everyone has it so easy. That’s why I was happy to pull some wisdom together for a post on iVillage this week. If you have a reluctant sleeper at home, check the real moms I talked to might have something that works for you. Check it out.

Read Kids Bedtime Routines That Really Work on iVillage

Image: Lars Plougmann, Flickr

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Published on August 23, 2012 08:17

Oklahoma Kindergartner Violates Dress Code with Football Jersey

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While parents of middle school and high school students struggle to find appropriate and affordable school clothes, one Kindergartner in Oklahoma got in trouble for wearing a modest football jersey. Five-year-old Cooper Barton showed up to his very first week of school in his Michigan Wolverines shirt. Not so fast, little guy. Non-Oklahoma team gear is prohibited in Oklahoma City public schools. So instead of getting friendly with glue sticks and safety scissors, Barton was asked to turn his shirt inside out. Apparently Kindergarten in Oklahoma is rife with gang violence and this boy was showing his colors.

Read the rest of this post on TODAY Moms

Image: Screenshot from WXYZ News