Should We Teach Children to Follow Their Passions?
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At book club last month, we started talking about careers, tough choices, and “following your passion.” As a former CPA making not much money, turned freelance writer and author making not much money, I fought the good fight for figuring out what the hell you love to do and going after it like a woman crazed. Especially because in the context of this conversation, we weren’t just talking about ourselves, but also about how to advise our children.
Should they follow their passions, or remain content to chase cash and illusive “certainty” at the risk of hating their jobs?
Don’t get me wrong, I like money. I’ve also seen too many people who tip over the line from maintaining a comfortable life to chasing contentment through stuff and a false sense of security that money can buy. That said, I’m not living within the means I bring into the bank account. If my situation suddenly changed, if I could no longer count on another household income, I would likely sign up for the nearest steady paycheck and subsidized medical insurance. But everyone’s situation is different. And we’re talking about the next generation, how we guide them into the many decisions of their working lives. I think we need to encourage them in their “passions,” their natural abilities, the things that hold their interest.
A friend of mine disagreed, based on watching too many people in her graduate program rack up six-figure debt in the pursuit of passion. She would probably agree with Cal Newport, who wrote in a recent CNN post:
If you believe that we all have a pre-existing passion, and that matching this to a job will lead to instant workplace bliss, then reality will always pale in comparison. Work is hard. Not every day is fun. Building the skills that ultimately lead to a compelling career can take years of effort. If you’re seeking a dream job, you’ll end up disappointed, again and again.
I agree with Newport, too, to a point. Who said anything about instant bliss? Why does it have to be one way or the other?
I believe in nurturing the idea that there is something each of us is born to do, and that discovering that thing is valuable–whether or not our special something can be translated into food on the table. Maybe your passion is not a career, but you pursue it anyway, and that gives you something to look forward to during less-than-fulfilling workdays, and that makes you a more positive person, and opens up opportunities you never could have imagined.
Or maybe it’s just fun.
I also want to teach my children that a satisfying day at work, followed by beans and cornbread can beat years of bad days that end in filet mignon.
I like to talk. Who knew I could get paid for it?
Well, I did, in a way. Even way back when I was even more pragmatic than I am today–when I chose the tangible skill of accounting versus some amorphous marketing degree, I sort of knew. I recall an interview with a partner at Arthur Andersen where I ended up interning and working after I graduated. He wanted to know what I saw myself doing, you know, eventually. (They valued ambition, before the fall.) Somewhere I had read that executives spent something like 80% of their work day communicating, so I told this partner that’s what I wanted to do–to take over his office and spend all day talking on the phone and going to lunch. This was 1996. Mark Zuckerberg was only 12, or else I’m sure I would have thrown in something about Facebook.
I got the job. I was good at it, in part because I talked too much. And I developed skills that I draw on today. Skill building, Newport believes, is a key to developing passion for your work. He also says that clearly identified pre-existing passions are rare, that people derive work satisfaction from a combination of autonomy, respect, competence, creativity, and/or a sense of impact.
Again, I agree. But here’s the thing–aren’t we naturally more competent and more creative when our work is aligned with our natural interests and abilities? And yes, those are present very early on. Ask any mother. Call them passions, or not, but when we’re better, we earn more respect and autonomy, and make a greater impact on others.
Passion for the work you do in the world is a worthy goal. It’s the reason I let my kids make a mess and figure out how to solve their own problems. It’s the reason I step in when they need help. It’s the reason I watch to see what makes their eyes narrow in concentration and sparkle in excitement.
Following Your Passion: Maybe it’s corny as the stuff of daytime TV, but until we have a better phrase, it’s all we’ve got.
What do you think? Should we teach our kids to find the unique purpose, or strive for financial comfort and security?
Image: rolands.lakis, Flickr
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