M.L. Kennedy's Blog, page 4
November 5, 2020
Staycation Story 233
Crinkle
PJ was laying on the couch with a tiny bag of Fritos on his chest attempting to finish watching a movie on cable. Commercials had somehow extended this 100-minute affair into a three-hour block, and he now found himself drifting. He took off his glasses and turned away from the television, just to rest his eyes.
He felt a tiny tickle on his leg. PJ was wearing his basketball shorts and was underneath the living room’s ceiling fan, so he figured it was just the fan blowing some of his le...
PJ was laying on the couch with a tiny bag of Fritos on his chest attempting to finish watching a movie on cable. Commercials had somehow extended this 100-minute affair into a three-hour block, and he now found himself drifting. He took off his glasses and turned away from the television, just to rest his eyes.
He felt a tiny tickle on his leg. PJ was wearing his basketball shorts and was underneath the living room’s ceiling fan, so he figured it was just the fan blowing some of his le...
November 4, 2020
Staycation Story 232
Fatigue
Catherine waved goodbye to her family and watched them pull out of the driveway. She locked the front door, microwaved a cup of hot chocolate, and changed into her comfiest pajamas. She grabbed the television remote and her fluffiest blanket and plopped onto the couch.
Catherine went through the list of all the things she could do. She could order a smelly and funny-looking dinner full of vegetables and “weird” sauces. She could watch that movie she DVRed last week. She would finally ha...
Catherine waved goodbye to her family and watched them pull out of the driveway. She locked the front door, microwaved a cup of hot chocolate, and changed into her comfiest pajamas. She grabbed the television remote and her fluffiest blanket and plopped onto the couch.
Catherine went through the list of all the things she could do. She could order a smelly and funny-looking dinner full of vegetables and “weird” sauces. She could watch that movie she DVRed last week. She would finally ha...
November 3, 2020
Staycation Story 231
Rifts
“Hey, uh, since I have you on the phone, uh, can I ask you something a little weird?” Corey said, holding his cellphone against his ear with his right shoulder.
“That’s fine, man,” the landlord said. “You’ve been a good tenant, and I don’t mind you knowing this: I’d like to keep you happy and paying rent for as long as I can.”
“Awesome,” Corey responded, happy to be good at something even if it was merely occupancy.
“Well?”
“Okay, now, this might sound crazy.”
“Sure.”
“So, we have the sun...
“Hey, uh, since I have you on the phone, uh, can I ask you something a little weird?” Corey said, holding his cellphone against his ear with his right shoulder.
“That’s fine, man,” the landlord said. “You’ve been a good tenant, and I don’t mind you knowing this: I’d like to keep you happy and paying rent for as long as I can.”
“Awesome,” Corey responded, happy to be good at something even if it was merely occupancy.
“Well?”
“Okay, now, this might sound crazy.”
“Sure.”
“So, we have the sun...
November 2, 2020
Staycation Story 230
Phil
To whom it may concern,
I am writing in regards to your posting on Indeed concerning the gadget maker/mission control position. I am quite excited about the possibility of this position. I’m a lifelong supporter of Dr. Horror M.D. and have been a huge fan of the Coalition of Tyranny since their inception. Nothing would suit me better than this job.
On my attached resume you will find that, in addition to my extensive work in super-villainous engineering, I have graduated from Cornell uni...
To whom it may concern,
I am writing in regards to your posting on Indeed concerning the gadget maker/mission control position. I am quite excited about the possibility of this position. I’m a lifelong supporter of Dr. Horror M.D. and have been a huge fan of the Coalition of Tyranny since their inception. Nothing would suit me better than this job.
On my attached resume you will find that, in addition to my extensive work in super-villainous engineering, I have graduated from Cornell uni...
November 1, 2020
Staycation Story 229
Walking Around in Flat Circles
“Well, there’s one thing.”
“Okay.”
“You know there’s Groundhog Day and Happy Death Day and Edge of Tomorrow-slash-Live, Die, Repeat and that new one with ‘Brooklyn 99’ in it?”
“You are talking about time loop movies?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you trying to tell me that you have been in a time loop?”
“Oh gosh, no.”
“What are you trying tell me?”
“Well, sometimes, when I screw up something really bad, I try to remember exactly when it happened. So, like, just in case today is t...
“Well, there’s one thing.”
“Okay.”
“You know there’s Groundhog Day and Happy Death Day and Edge of Tomorrow-slash-Live, Die, Repeat and that new one with ‘Brooklyn 99’ in it?”
“You are talking about time loop movies?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you trying to tell me that you have been in a time loop?”
“Oh gosh, no.”
“What are you trying tell me?”
“Well, sometimes, when I screw up something really bad, I try to remember exactly when it happened. So, like, just in case today is t...
October 31, 2020
Staycation Story 228
The Collection
Kendra sat down with her coffee, opened her laptop, and clicked on the Zoom link. She found the editor waiting for her.
“Hey Lilla!” Kendra said. “It’s nice to finally put a face to the email address.”
“Hey Kendra,” the editor said. “So, all of us here really loved your story.”
“That’s great!”
“So, I do have a few notes, though.” A cat jumped on Lilla’s shoulder and attempted to perch there like a parrot.
“Sure,” Kendra said. “Let me have it.”
“All right, so you did a good job se...
Kendra sat down with her coffee, opened her laptop, and clicked on the Zoom link. She found the editor waiting for her.
“Hey Lilla!” Kendra said. “It’s nice to finally put a face to the email address.”
“Hey Kendra,” the editor said. “So, all of us here really loved your story.”
“That’s great!”
“So, I do have a few notes, though.” A cat jumped on Lilla’s shoulder and attempted to perch there like a parrot.
“Sure,” Kendra said. “Let me have it.”
“All right, so you did a good job se...
October 30, 2020
Staycation Story 227
Spooky
“I’m scared, Bert,” Francis said.
“We’re fine, Francis,” Bert replied.
“It doesn’t feel fine,” Francis said nailing a plank across the doorway.
“Listen,” Bert responded while arranging holy items on a hastily built altar. “We’ve got all our bases covered.”
“It’s a full moon on Halloween!” Francis pulled a nail out from between his lips. “Who knows what 2020 is going to throw at us!?”
“Let’s go over the caches again,” Bert said. “We’ve got a shotgun and a crowbar in that corner for zombie...
“I’m scared, Bert,” Francis said.
“We’re fine, Francis,” Bert replied.
“It doesn’t feel fine,” Francis said nailing a plank across the doorway.
“Listen,” Bert responded while arranging holy items on a hastily built altar. “We’ve got all our bases covered.”
“It’s a full moon on Halloween!” Francis pulled a nail out from between his lips. “Who knows what 2020 is going to throw at us!?”
“Let’s go over the caches again,” Bert said. “We’ve got a shotgun and a crowbar in that corner for zombie...
October 29, 2020
Staycation Story 226
Fanny-Pack at the Cemetery
“Welcome everyone to tonight’s haunted cemetery tour!” the man in the long black raincoat said with a flourish. “I am Salochin. I will be your host tonight. Questions are, of course, allowed. However, Grand Ghost Touring LLC asks that you save all your queries until the designated times.”
“When’s that?” asked a chubby man with a fanny-pack.
“After my monologues, or whilst we traverse from tomb to tomb.”
“Okay!” Fanny-Pack responded.
“Thank you. This gravesite is the h...
“Welcome everyone to tonight’s haunted cemetery tour!” the man in the long black raincoat said with a flourish. “I am Salochin. I will be your host tonight. Questions are, of course, allowed. However, Grand Ghost Touring LLC asks that you save all your queries until the designated times.”
“When’s that?” asked a chubby man with a fanny-pack.
“After my monologues, or whilst we traverse from tomb to tomb.”
“Okay!” Fanny-Pack responded.
“Thank you. This gravesite is the h...
October 28, 2020
Staycation Story 225
Interstellar Messages
Declassified Transcription
General Gripe to [Redacted]
Hey. I hate to be the one to tell you this thing, but do you remember last year’s incident?
[Redacted] to General Gripe
Are you referring to the terrorist attack on our super-weapon that annihilated one million of our loyal subjects? Because, yes, I do recall that “incident.”
General Gripe to [Redacted]
The good news is that have discovered the name of the terrorist responsible.
[Redacted] to General Gripe
We shall strike ...
Declassified Transcription
General Gripe to [Redacted]
Hey. I hate to be the one to tell you this thing, but do you remember last year’s incident?
[Redacted] to General Gripe
Are you referring to the terrorist attack on our super-weapon that annihilated one million of our loyal subjects? Because, yes, I do recall that “incident.”
General Gripe to [Redacted]
The good news is that have discovered the name of the terrorist responsible.
[Redacted] to General Gripe
We shall strike ...
October 27, 2020
Staycation Story 224
Confined Spaces
Seeing no choice in the matter, Marsha crawled into the tunnel. Once inside, she had just enough room to awkwardly slither forward on her hands and knees. About five feet into the tube, she regretted her decision. She didn’t have nearly enough room to turn around. She could possibly skuttle backwards, now merely a few yards from freedom. She could, were that path not already blocked.
Marsha had to press on.
Thirty seconds later, the tunnel bent upward ninety degrees. Briefly, sh...
Seeing no choice in the matter, Marsha crawled into the tunnel. Once inside, she had just enough room to awkwardly slither forward on her hands and knees. About five feet into the tube, she regretted her decision. She didn’t have nearly enough room to turn around. She could possibly skuttle backwards, now merely a few yards from freedom. She could, were that path not already blocked.
Marsha had to press on.
Thirty seconds later, the tunnel bent upward ninety degrees. Briefly, sh...
