M.L. Kennedy's Blog, page 3
November 15, 2020
Staycation 243
Popcorn Ceiling
Alan climbed into the top bunk, careful not to bump his head. He stretched out onto the bed, and stacked his pillows beneath his shoulders. He had grown just enough in the past month that if he reached out his right arm, he could touch the ceiling.
And so, Alan picked the popcorn off the popcorn ceiling as he lulled himself to sleep.
After a few minutes of this, Alan looked at the tiny white pieces of powdery who-knows-what that surrounded him and the uneven patch he created. He...
Alan climbed into the top bunk, careful not to bump his head. He stretched out onto the bed, and stacked his pillows beneath his shoulders. He had grown just enough in the past month that if he reached out his right arm, he could touch the ceiling.
And so, Alan picked the popcorn off the popcorn ceiling as he lulled himself to sleep.
After a few minutes of this, Alan looked at the tiny white pieces of powdery who-knows-what that surrounded him and the uneven patch he created. He...
November 14, 2020
Staycation Story 242
Patch
The massive android shot its eye-beams at the team leader. The leader was able to dodge at the last possible moment.
And, because his reaction was so perfectly timed, he received a boost of intrinsic energy, whatever that was.
The team surrounded the android and attacked all at once. The beefy one charged the automaton, but was caught by the neck. As he was lifted by his throat, his teammates pounced. The agile one fired projectiles at the android’s back, the team leader attacked its legs...
The massive android shot its eye-beams at the team leader. The leader was able to dodge at the last possible moment.
And, because his reaction was so perfectly timed, he received a boost of intrinsic energy, whatever that was.
The team surrounded the android and attacked all at once. The beefy one charged the automaton, but was caught by the neck. As he was lifted by his throat, his teammates pounced. The agile one fired projectiles at the android’s back, the team leader attacked its legs...
November 13, 2020
Staycation Story 241
On Functional Families
“Oh shit,” said the Human Stain as he stared at his laptop.
“What’s going on?” Lara asked, eating a spoon of Nutella while leaning in the doorway.
“I got an email from the Justice Squadron,” the super-hero replied. “Oh, I don’t know if I want to open it.”
“Open it, you chicken,” Lara said. “It could be a yes, or it could just be that they need your mother’s maiden name or something to run a background check.”
“Rejection,” he announced.
“Sorry, man.”
“We had a record number...
“Oh shit,” said the Human Stain as he stared at his laptop.
“What’s going on?” Lara asked, eating a spoon of Nutella while leaning in the doorway.
“I got an email from the Justice Squadron,” the super-hero replied. “Oh, I don’t know if I want to open it.”
“Open it, you chicken,” Lara said. “It could be a yes, or it could just be that they need your mother’s maiden name or something to run a background check.”
“Rejection,” he announced.
“Sorry, man.”
“We had a record number...
November 12, 2020
Staycation Story 240
Ghosted
“So, this might sound a little crazy, but I swear that it’s true. A few months ago, my great uncle died. We weren’t particularly close or anything, but I guess I was the nearest thing he had to an heir. He ended up leaving me his entire estate. Most of it was the usual stuff: a few bank accounts, his house, his car, but one oddity jumped out at me. He had, apparently, in a game of chance, won the deed to an old bed and breakfast out on the East coast.
“The place hadn’t been operational i...
“So, this might sound a little crazy, but I swear that it’s true. A few months ago, my great uncle died. We weren’t particularly close or anything, but I guess I was the nearest thing he had to an heir. He ended up leaving me his entire estate. Most of it was the usual stuff: a few bank accounts, his house, his car, but one oddity jumped out at me. He had, apparently, in a game of chance, won the deed to an old bed and breakfast out on the East coast.
“The place hadn’t been operational i...
November 11, 2020
Staycation Story 239
Evidently
“And we’re back!” the voice on the television blared. “So far, Perry has won $857. And I’ve got good news for him! For the next round, he can choose his fate!”
“What on Earth are you watching?” Ann asked, walking into the room.
“It’s some kind of poor man’s ‘Fear Factor’ on one of those high numbered cable channels we never make it up to,” Aubrey answered.
“Your first option is to enter this tank filled with centipedes,” the TV continued. “Inside you will find $500 worth of singles.”
...
“And we’re back!” the voice on the television blared. “So far, Perry has won $857. And I’ve got good news for him! For the next round, he can choose his fate!”
“What on Earth are you watching?” Ann asked, walking into the room.
“It’s some kind of poor man’s ‘Fear Factor’ on one of those high numbered cable channels we never make it up to,” Aubrey answered.
“Your first option is to enter this tank filled with centipedes,” the TV continued. “Inside you will find $500 worth of singles.”
...
November 10, 2020
Staycation Story 238
Celebrity and Immortality
“So, here’s the pitch,” the waiter said to the notoriously nice actor sitting in his section.
“Thanks, but I’m just an actor,” he said. “I don’t have a production company or anything.” The actor shifted uncomfortably in his chair, suddenly even more aware of how crowded the restaurant was.
“You got a producer credit on the show you just made for HBO,” the waiter countered.
“My agent negotiated that,” the actor explained. “I don’t actually do any producing.”
“No, no, it...
“So, here’s the pitch,” the waiter said to the notoriously nice actor sitting in his section.
“Thanks, but I’m just an actor,” he said. “I don’t have a production company or anything.” The actor shifted uncomfortably in his chair, suddenly even more aware of how crowded the restaurant was.
“You got a producer credit on the show you just made for HBO,” the waiter countered.
“My agent negotiated that,” the actor explained. “I don’t actually do any producing.”
“No, no, it...
November 9, 2020
Staycation Story 237
Grim and Gritty Lemur-man
Lemur-man arrived at the scene of the crime and saw the forensic photographer taking photos of two headless corpses.
“G’morning, Sam.”
“Morning, Lemur,” the photographer responded.
“Woof, this is grisly,” the super-hero said.
“The Grizzley?” Sam snapped another photo. “I thought he was locked up in the Iron Cage?”
“No, I meant grisly,” the hero corrected, “like gruesome.” Lemur-man scanned for evidence with his enhanced Lemur-senses.
“You’re telling me,” the photograph...
Lemur-man arrived at the scene of the crime and saw the forensic photographer taking photos of two headless corpses.
“G’morning, Sam.”
“Morning, Lemur,” the photographer responded.
“Woof, this is grisly,” the super-hero said.
“The Grizzley?” Sam snapped another photo. “I thought he was locked up in the Iron Cage?”
“No, I meant grisly,” the hero corrected, “like gruesome.” Lemur-man scanned for evidence with his enhanced Lemur-senses.
“You’re telling me,” the photograph...
November 8, 2020
Staycation Story 236
Dynamics
“Yo, this date isn’t going very well, huh?”
“Umm. I suppose if it were, you wouldn’t be asking me that question.”
“Word.”
“It’s just like, ya know, I’m Ohio State, and you’re the Michigan Wolverines. Just incompatible, ya feel me?”
“I went to Wellesley.”
“Word.”
“Are you asking me for permission to go? Because we are both adults, you can just walk away whenever. I can tell Katie about the whole Bit Ten compatibility thing.”
“Naw, naw. I was just wondering, since this isn’t going anywhe...
“Yo, this date isn’t going very well, huh?”
“Umm. I suppose if it were, you wouldn’t be asking me that question.”
“Word.”
“It’s just like, ya know, I’m Ohio State, and you’re the Michigan Wolverines. Just incompatible, ya feel me?”
“I went to Wellesley.”
“Word.”
“Are you asking me for permission to go? Because we are both adults, you can just walk away whenever. I can tell Katie about the whole Bit Ten compatibility thing.”
“Naw, naw. I was just wondering, since this isn’t going anywhe...
November 7, 2020
Staycation Story 235
Well, What Then?
The young woman with the camera behind her approached George’s booth. She smiled and asked, “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”
“That is a question, doll,” he responded, looking her up and down in that common, yet unsettling, manner that men in camouflage have when they look at women half their age.
“Well did you mind it?” she asked playfully tilting her head.
“I suppose not,” George said, setting a pair of night-vision goggle down on his table.
“So, I’m Stacy, this is Ned,”...
The young woman with the camera behind her approached George’s booth. She smiled and asked, “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”
“That is a question, doll,” he responded, looking her up and down in that common, yet unsettling, manner that men in camouflage have when they look at women half their age.
“Well did you mind it?” she asked playfully tilting her head.
“I suppose not,” George said, setting a pair of night-vision goggle down on his table.
“So, I’m Stacy, this is Ned,”...
November 6, 2020
Staycation Story 234
Other People’s Nightmares
Wanda turned to her partner and said, “I just had a horrible dream.”
“Really?”
Wanda glared at her.
“I mean, ‘oh that’s horrible. Tell me about it.’”
“Thank you,” Wanda said. “I was hiking through the woods. It was a sunny day, but I was beneath a canopy of trees. Off in the distance, I see a clearing. I suddenly get very tired. I lay down on the ground, take off my backpack, and use it for a pillow. I can’t clear my head, though.
“All of the sudden, I feel my watch ti...
Wanda turned to her partner and said, “I just had a horrible dream.”
“Really?”
Wanda glared at her.
“I mean, ‘oh that’s horrible. Tell me about it.’”
“Thank you,” Wanda said. “I was hiking through the woods. It was a sunny day, but I was beneath a canopy of trees. Off in the distance, I see a clearing. I suddenly get very tired. I lay down on the ground, take off my backpack, and use it for a pillow. I can’t clear my head, though.
“All of the sudden, I feel my watch ti...
