Joshilyn Jackson's Blog, page 21

That Lemon in the Red Lipstick Is So So Out

It's the day of my last post over on The Lipstick Chronicles, and I squandered it on existential blog angst and French jokes. Come play!

Below is my favorite post I ever did on TLC, moved over here, since TLC will cease to exist at some point in a POOFING "no one is paying for this" way… ALAS! ALAS!

An Open Letter to the Fat Girl I Saw at Hot Yoga in New York City

Dear Fat Girl I Saw at Hot Yoga in New York City,

Perhaps I should call you OTHER fat girl at Hot Yoga, as I was there too, easing back into my Fat Down Dog, forward to Fat Plank, then melting and pushing up to Fat Cobra, etc etc, all the way through my big fat hot Vinyasa flow. (This should be a movie title—my Big Fat Hot Vinyasa Flow—I would SO go to see that.)

Is it wrong that I am half in love with you? For being fat and at Hot Yoga? For shaving your legs and getting a GOOD pedicure and...

The Incredibly Disappointing Movie Ballerina Sex-Love Playa Fallacy Comparison

So I noticed that the two main ballerinas in BLACK SWAN had made almost exactly the same movie, FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS and NO STRINGS ATTACHED in which Natalie Portman OR Mila Kunis, but not respectively, has convenient but contractually loveless sex with Justin Timberlake or Ashton Kutcher, but not respectively, and they all four OF COURSE fall for each other, but in PAIRS, not a Big Love way, because while that is a near-perfect example of exactly how love does not work, it IS how chick...

AFK BRB HAVING CHRISTMAS

Consider this my Holiday Greetings and Christmas Cards to all the people I did not mail Christmas cards to, which includes…everyone on the planet. Yes. I suck. BUT!

I used to BUY Christmas cards and not send them, so now I just skip right to not sending them, so at least I suck in an ecologically responsible tree saving manner. And I got you the above pic. It's from the shadow-play nativity—that's Maisy Jane as a Wise Man, kneeling to present gifts to Joseph, Mary, and what looks like a...

New Things and the VBS! (No, not that kind)

FIRST, an abject apology for the VIDEO I posted in the entry below. I did not realize it WAS a video of graphically horrible deaths. The website made it look like I was going embed a CREEPY GAME in which a raccoon chases Mario through a mushroom-laden abattoir. I took the video down and replaced it with a link to the game. SO SORRY.

Look, as an apology, I present you with a charming picture of a giraffe about to do a shot of tequila that you can put in the brain cell that is currently...

Things That Are Awful

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW. The way he looks up at his person and makes lip-smackies. As if he is saying, "MMMM THANKS FOR THE DELCICIOUS….NOTHING." And yet he keeps trying. He is Sisyphus Lizard. It is awful.

And yet I laugh and laugh.

Look, this is awful, too:

Our across the street neighbors have a Santa wonderland thing going, and at night this fellow inflates and lights up, filling our cul-de-sac with a cheery kitschy glow. However, all day long, he looks like Dead Melted Santa Puddle. Santa as...

His Favorite Physicist

The blog entry after this will be titled The Movie Ballerina Sex-Love Playa Fallacy Comparison. Which sounds like an episode title for The Big Bang Theory. Which relates because the title of this entry is…see above.

First, some context. And a wee bit of name dropping…

Best Beloveds of course remember that Stephen Colbert and I are like, SUPER TIGHT BEST FRIENDIES? By which I mean ONCE I was at a party my publishing house threw and his book had just come out and I got to meet him and he was...

The Other Ear Drops

So I put the kindly, warm-hearted, touching-ish, coming of age half of the ear piercing story over on The Lipstick Chronicles. And yes, it was all true. But…

I may have left some things out.

One was, I was taking a lot of FLACK for not re-piercing mine when she pierced hers. I was being asked, in arch tones, by more than one person *cough Maisy cough Sam cough EVEN MY HUSBAND cough* if I was scared to do it. Worse, when the boys ragged on me too hard, I was being told, in a SUPER...

The Right Rites

I JUST jumped back into the blog with all my many feet (Don't judge me! I need all these feet!) and WHAT THE WHAT!?

The first thing I do is run off to my group blog and not EVEN post here? FOR REALS?

Yes, for reals, I am at TLC today talking puncture wounds and rites of passage. Come play? All you have to do is click this BOLDED text (apparently we do not have the link colors working yet. Ahem!)

YES, Virginia, for the record, I AM as disgusted with my freewheeling blog-slut post-anywhere...

The Blog Shies

There's are couple of weird things that happen when you stop blogging for a little—or a lot.

1) First, you HATE to read those "why I have not been blogging" entries by other people, because they are not very interesting, and they seem to imply a certain HOW HAVE YOU MANAGED WITHOUT ME POOR YOU-ness, when really it is just a blog and the answer is, Fine, thanks.

Also, they usually boil down to "OH EM GEE, you guys, I was so super busy." And who isn't? Especially this time of year.

BUT…at...