Joshilyn Jackson's Blog, page 17
June 11, 2012
Summer Educational Opportunities
Maisy: MOM! MOM! GAHHHHHHH!!!! There is an ENORMOUS BUG IN THE HOUSE!
Me: What kind of bug?
Maisy: THE ENORMOUS KIND.
*I go into the kitchen, and there he is, floating around the trash can*
Me: Oh Maisy Jane! This is a WONDERFUL Bug! SAM SAM SAM! COME QUICK!
*Sam tears his face away from some screen or other and appears.*
Sam: UGH!
Me: Do not UGH! This is such a FANTASTIC BUG to have. Grab me that Tupperware so we can capture him and put him safely outside. Do you know what kind of bug this is?
*Sam...
June 7, 2012
The Vocabulary of Sass
The man, now that he is all DECATURRED UP, is getting back-chatty. He loves it here. He is blooming.
Like, you know my friend Susan Rebecca White? SRW is a wonderful writer and a known foody. Every restaurant we love best, she has told us about it or taken us there.
SO this week, I don’t know if you know, Venus transponded the sun! Next time this happens, it will be 2117, and you and I will be dead. *Cheery thought for day? ACCOMPLISHED!*
In honor of this momentous transpond that Venus was d...
May 29, 2012
Maisy Says The B Word
Maisy on the Stairs, photographed by Erin Virginia Jackson
The Cast: The neighbors across the street have a teenager boy named Trey, and then a couple-three younger kids who are in the HERD of neighborhood children that Maisy plays with. One night, the neighbors had friends over, and the friends had two kids: Teenager Jacob, who hung out with Trey, and a younger boy, Josiah, who joined the pack of Cul-De-Sac Littlies.
Necessary Exposition: A lot of these kids (but not all of them) have Razor R...
May 28, 2012
18 or 19 Reasons Why I Love My Husband
He speaks my shorthand. He knows what “Let’s be mice ladies” means. He understands me when I say AH BLAH BLAH HELICOPTOR! AH BLAH BLAH SPAN! He can navigate the convoluted rules governing whether or not a person should be given a Cathead; he has never wrongfully Catheaded me, and he has never protested being given a richly deserved one.
He is a pool shark. Do NOT play him for money.
He genetically caused half of the two most excellent children in the universe. I am pretty sure he spawned the...
May 23, 2012
My Beautiful Midlife Crisis (MBMC)
I forgot to show you the keeping room last time. PEEP THE BEAMS. Heartheartheart
We SO TOTALLY OWN this now! And by “SO TOTALLY OWN” I mean, “We own 37.5% of it.”
The rest a bank owns and we have to hurl large scoops of money toward them at regular intervals for about thirty years, and THEN we will even more totally own it except for property taxes which we have to pay forever or lose the place, so technically I should have said, EVENTUALLY WE WILL BEEN IN AN OWNERSHIP LIKE RELATIONSHIP WITH T...
May 21, 2012
MOVING PICTURES (No part 2! No cliff hangers! Absolutely whole and complete!)
I KNOW I AM BAD AND A PINK SOCKER OF THE LOWEST VARIETY. In my defense I am stuffing everything I own into boxes. WE CLOSE ON THE NEW HOUSE TOMORROW.
Here are two SLIPS, like a bookie would hold, and if I do not make good on these you can print them out, wad them up in your mouth, get some sort of tube and then SPIT them at me at Decatur Book Fest.
I.O.U. Cussing, Part 2, Maisy Says the B Word.
I.O.U. Sloughing Part 2, When Your Dogs Will Not STOP Being Metaphors.
I must go throw most of what I...
May 18, 2012
Cussing, part one
We RE-interrupt the second part of SLOUGHING because it requires some photos I cannot get off my phone. FOR SOME REASON.
Until I can figure out HOW TO GET THOSE PICTURES, I offer you two stories about bad words. The first comes with a random picture of a duck who joined my husband for dinner last night.
Scott had to work late and was eating a burrito alone on a patio, and this handsome fellow came and loudly demanded chips. I include him here because ducks—mallards in particular—are famous fo...
May 17, 2012
Marriage Winners
Yes Virginia-of-the-Pink-Socks, there will be a Sloughing, part, two.
The RANDOM has Spoken, as you can see, and it chose the following peeps to win the new Anthology I am in, WEDDING CAKE FOR BREAKFAST:
Sarah of Blue in the Stream and Roxanne. WHOOP on you two.
As for the third copy….Here were my three favorite marriage advices
First runner up: From LA: The best tip I have, from personal experience, is to marry a man who has your back when it comes to lizards.
Scott and I heartily concur. Exce...
May 15, 2012
Sloughing, Part 1
I AM BAGEL! Please remit a Beggin Strip. I promise I will not know it is not bacon. In fact, I can safely promise not to know anything. EVER.
Last day to enter the contest to win a copy of the anthology that contains a goodly portion of the real for true love story of me and my favorite husband, WEDDING CAKE FOR BREAKFAST. You can find out how to enter in at least 4 ways by clicking HERE.I have lost the knack of blogging. I can’t find my FTK voice. I am having seismic heavings and all kinds...
May 10, 2012
CONTESTICA!
THANK YOU for the movetastic advice. I have actually cut and pasted bits into a list TO DO. Also thank you for the reassurance and cavalcade of voices shouting at me to drink liquor. You are wise! I bourbonically concur!
YAY
So the publicist in charge of WEDDING CAKE FOR BREAKFAST has ponied up two copies of this smart anthology.YOU WANT THIS – Shelf Awareness says, “Wedding Cake for Breakfast proves a delight to read, whether you are newly engaged, newlywed or just celebrated your 50th anniv...
