K.C. Lauer's Blog, page 18

Looking for Advertisers

Hi folks,

I started my blog over a year ago. Initially I tried to add advertisements to gain some revenue, however the ads were all over my content and I felt that they detracted from the message. I am currently looking for advertisers who are interested in sponsorship and affiliate opportunities. I am also looking for cross networking and back linking benefits.

According to Alexa, the following is a snapshot of my site and readership:

Audience Snapshot – Alexa

Based on internet averages, kbalbify.com is visited more frequently by females who are in the age range 45-54, have no children, are graduate school educated and browse this site from home. There are 343,951 sites with a better three-month global Alexa traffic rank than Kbalbify.com, and about 20% of visits to the site are bounces (one pageview only).

Almost all visitors to it come from the US, where it has attained a traffic rank of 57,371. The time spent in a typical visit to Kbalbify.com is approximately fourteen minutes, with 89 seconds spent on each pageview. It has a relatively good traffic rank in the city of Hartford (#476).

If you are interested, please leave me a comment or send me an email at KayWontTell@aol.com

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The Guitar Player Feature Film

Occasionally I write blog posts for a fee. This posting is a paid one.  Today I am writing to you about a new movie entitled the Guitar Player.

Support Indie Artists

This is an independent film and as you may know, I support indie musicians and indie writers.  This film is about a homeless street performer who is given a second chance in life but struggles with his painful past.

A portion of the profits of this film will be going toward homeless causes. People can make a pledge to fund the film and get awards for their pledges. If you also like to support independent artists, please go to their film website, make a pledge and share this info with your friends.

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What Comes First After 9/11: The Nest or the Nest Egg? – Yahoo! News

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Comes First After 9/11: The Nest or the Nest Egg? – Yahoo! News.

The week after the twin towers, the pentagon and a remote place in Pennsylvania was struck by terrorism, life in America became very quiet. For a record three days, planes were kept out of the sky and only military and a few select private planes were permitted to fly.  One of those planes took Osama Bin Laden's family out of the US. The news showed constant footage of the tradegy and American's were warned that terrorism works when people stay home and become fearful.

My husband and I went to a rock and roll concert that Friday night and were subjected to detailed search and seizure before we were permitted inside. Lighters, key chains, and other terroristic-like paraphernalia like water bottles were confiscated.  Government agencies had warned that civic events and public locations might be targeted.  We thought the concert might be cancelled but we needed a break from the news. We were on brain drain and fortunately, the band rocked the house in an otherwise uneventful evening.

A few months later, there was an anthrax scare,. Then a shoe bomber and on Christmas Eve we had an underwear bomb scare but for the most part, American's have largely been secure and insulated from this war on terrorism.

One time right after the event I was traveling and the emergency codes went from yellow to orange. No one could really verbalize what this meant, but I know it added about three hours of time to my processing in and out of O'Hare International Airport and I almost missed my flight.

What have been the high and low points  in your life since 9/11?  Are you like me, wishing that we would end the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq? Wondering where those evil doer's might be? Wondering where those Weapons of Mass Destruction are? Do you wonder what unemployment numbers might look like if we included those in the military, those that were semi-retired and only working part time, those that are taking less hours now, those that owned small businesses that are now belly up?  My guess is it is closer to 50% unemployment. But what do I know. I'm just a hen focused on her nest.  If I was worried about my nest egg, I would be really depressed.

 

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Surviving without power after Irene

We were one of the fortunate ones. We only lost power for about a day and a half.

Preparing ahead of the storm

The news reports indicated that this could be worse than the worst Nor'Easter we had ever faced. Remembering back to 1996, we had a blizzard that shut down the state in Connecticut and caused my home to be without power for three days. During winter, having no power in the northeast is critical and potentially life threatening. Fortunately, this storm came through in the summer so although flooding and downed power lines could be ominous, at least we would not have to worry about freezing to death.

My husband and daughter laughed at me, but remembering back to those 3 days of no heat, no lights and no way to cook indoors, I set about preparing for hurricane Irene.

My husband is a contractor and because occasionally he works on a job site where there is no power, we own a small generator. With about a half a gallon of gas, you can get about three hours of limited power

Before the hurricane, I bought.a gas-can full of gas, some bread, water, gatorade, and a bag of ice. I also got some cash from the ATM in case we lost power for longer or needed to travel. I also filled up the truck with gas in case we needed to leave the area.

The day before the storm, I made two crock pots of prepared meals. One was cock and bull stew, a mixture of beef, chicken, vegetables and steak sauce. The other was sausage and spaghetti sauce. I cooked up a box of spaghetti, and put it in a plastic bag in the refrigerator after it had cooled.

When we got hungry, we simply plugged in the crock pot and within about an hour, our dinner was ready. We didn't have to fuss with the grill or worry about opening our freezer. It was easy, simple and tasty, even though we were eating by candle light. We were able to charge our cell phones, and remain in contact with most of our family this way, even though we had no cable or television.

Throughout the day we listened to the news are discovered that half the state was without power. I kept asking my husband where all the rain went as they had originally predicted 6-12 inches of rain that would accompany the storm.

Since we were listing to the local radio station, we got local news and had no idea that Vermont, upper New York and New Hampshire were experiencing the drenching that was originally slated for us.

After getting power on after a day and a half, we watched the news and were saddened to see homes floating by in the rivers north of us. I wondered if those folks had been prepared as we had been. I hoped so, but when water floods your home and moves it, there is not much you can do but abandon it.

Being prepared versus not being prepared is simply thinking about what you might need, and planning for it. Sometimes during natural disasters, that means you have to move, and you have to do it quickly.

While I am grateful our power was only off for a day and a half, my sister in law in the next town over, was out for two days. Others are still waiting and are being told it might be weeks rather than days. Planning for a week is one thing, planning for multiple weeks is another.

Thankfully, it is warm out still and no one should freeze from the devastating effects of Hurricane Irene. How did you fare this storm? Do you have power back? Water in the basement? Trouble getting to work because roads are closed? Please comment and let me know how you are doing after the storm.

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Hurricane Irene

Here in Connecticut, the news is reporting that hurricane Irene is going to be extreme for our state. This morning I went around outside and picked up my patio furniture and potted plants and stashed them against my shed. Still debating whether to take the screen house down. I'm thinking yes, but it is a two person job and I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work to help.

Yesterday afternoon I went to the store and Job Lot, Walmart and the Dairy Mart were out of D batteries. I was able to pick up some gatorade and 1 package of bottled water bottles.

We've got propane for the grill, charcoal for the other grill and I picked up some candles and bleach, and non-perishable food.

We may have a power outage for 3-5 day, and they are expecting between 6 – 12 inches of rain. Hopefully the Windsor Locks canal that is about half a mile away doesn't flood. If it does, hopefully we are on high enough ground to be safe.

Good luck to all who are impacted and stay safe.

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How to Create a Career without a Full-Time Job – US News and World Report

 

 

 

 

How to Create a Career without a Full-Time Job – US News and World Report.

I didn't know it, but there is name for what I do. It is called slashing.  Apparently it is the new wave rave.  When someone gets laid off from a job, and they can't find another job that meets their requirements, they may decide to freelance and do a number of things to generate an income stream.  That would be me. I started my band in 1996, and I began co-ownership of Balbi Painting LLC in 1999.

In April of 2011 I began another adventure and created Kay Won't Tell, a professional writing and consulting firm.  Today I went to the bank with three checks. One was from the direct revenue of book sales, one was from my publishing company in the form of royalties and one was from my freelancing consulting business association with Win Enterprises LLC.  In addition, earlier this week I made some money writing a few articles – one on women and fertility issues and the other on child rearing and braces.

Just like this website suggests, I cannot nor do I desire to separate the person that I am. I have a lot of knowledge about various things, and my experiences are what make me who I am today.  A slasher.  Yeah, I'm a slasher.

 

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Feeling alone – how to get out of a slump…

Recently I had a friend of mine send me a message.

She told me she felt all alone and I knew what she was saying. I remember very distinctly the time that I realized I was also alone in this world.

I was sitting on the floor in my best friend's bed room. I was 19 years old. She had given me a choice. Were we going to go to Cape Cod and see the sunrise or not.

The circumstances leading up to that question were anything but normal, and sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing by replying yes, but I didn't want to reject her. I knew she was fragile as was I. (More about this in my memoir, Bad Girl Gone Mom.)

That was the day I realized I was all alone in this world. She and I had been really close or so I thought, but she had crossed a boundary, and broken a trust. I still loved her but was hurt by her actions. Life is complicated and simple decisions can become complex when friendship, and sometimes even a person's life was at stake.

The reality is we are all alone in this world. Each of us has to make our own decisions, our own liaisons, and have our own experiences.

The choices we make today lead us to develop relationships that make us fulfilled today and tomorrow, if we so choose.

It is important when feeling alone to choose a path that you are passionate about. Find ways to meet other like minded people whether it is chat rooms, publications, live events, social functions, or seminars.

Donate your time or participate in an activity that uses one of your skills. There are always people who need help. Contact your town, your school, the hospital, church, visiting nurse's association for some ideas.

The point is that when you are feeling alone, you tend to isolate even more. You sometimes have to consciously break this pattern by finding a way to give something of yourself to someone else. Seek not to be understood but to understand. In that, you will find connectivity, and connectivity will replace the feelings of being alone.

Publisher's Weekly Listing for Bad Girl Gone Mom

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The Big E – and Connecticut Authors (CAPA) in CT Building

CAPA and the Big E

I am pleased to share that the Connecticut Authors & Publishers Association (CAPA) will again be supporting CT authors in the Connecticut Building at the Big E this year.

Big E dates are from Friday September 16th through Sunday October 2nd.  The booth will be open from 10 am to 9 pm daily.

Please stop by and say hello to me.

I will be there the following hours:

Sunday September 25th, from 10 – 1; and 4pm – 7pm

Monday, September 26th from 10 -4pm;

Sunday, October 2nd, from 10  – 4pm

Bad Girl Gone Mom, author K.C. Lauer to attend Big E

Please stop by [image error]ask me for an autographed copy of Bad Girl Gone Mom (paperback, $15.00)

For more on the Big E

Last years attendence!

2010 Big E – 1,228,418

M.R.K.H. Sisters

One year of meeting others with MRKH

It is the beginning of August 2011, and I cannot believe how much my life has changed in a year.

Last year at this time, I was laid off, and waiting for my Cobra medical insurance to end. I had scheduled a hysterectomy and vaginal reconstruction, and I was researching female reproductive health on the internet and I came across something that changed my life.

I ran across Esther Morris and The Missing Vagina Monologue. I learned about M.R.K.H. and I found one person in the world, that understood what a diagnosis of congenital vaginal agenesis meant, not just physically, but emotionally. As I read her history, it resonated with me, because it was very similar to mine. When I heard the questions she came to ask of herself as she aged with this syndrome, I realized I had similar, and even more questions. But I struggled to find answers. I knew from reading on the website she created, (http://mrkh.org), that there were other women out there that also knew the fears and depression that I knew.

I decided to write a book about my experiences to possibly help another girl going through gender or sexual identity. During this process, I found myself sobbing and writing, and reliving some of those memories that I had buried so long ago. Then I began looking at my current life, and seeing how I had progressed. In some cases, very well, and in others, I was surprised to see how much pain and anger I still harbor. I remembered well the days I thought out how I would try and kill myself. I remembered thinking my family would be grateful if they just didn't have to deal with me anymore. I was an anomaly, a rarity, and a freak.

I also continued writing, and as I got into my adult years, I realized there were some pivotal moments that changed who I was, and who I would become. I also realized that if I shared some of the things that helped me, maybe other girls would realize that there is hope. Then Tyler Clementi killed himself on the George Washington Bridge, after telling his friends and family on Facebook that was what he was going to do. He was disturbed by the fact that a roomate had outed his homosexuality on YouTube. God, I knew that battle. I had felt torn between female and male genders all my life. I was born as a girl, I was built mostly as a girl, and I was raised as a girl, but I thought more like a guy. I was more competitive on some levels as a guy would be, and my sexual experiences and desires were more typical of a man than a woman.

Through Esther's words, I realized that the struggle I had with gender identity and sexual orientation was shared by others. Some born with syndromes such as M.R.K.H, A.I.S. Klinefelters, and M.U.R.C.s knew what it was like to be born with physical differences. Others, had thought and soul conflicts with their physical bodies compared to their gender spirits. Some choose to ignore or avoid these feelings, others elect for cross-dressing or transgender surgery. Whatever their choice is, society impacts them on some level, no matter what they do.

For a little while, I blamed God, my parents, the doctors, and then for the rest of the time, I have been taking the anger out at myself, although much less these days.

This week marks the oneyear anniversary when I stumbled upon the Missing Vagina Monologues and I just want to thank Esther for sharing her story, her feelings and her ideas for the future. I also want to thank her for creating the organization and other gender/mrkh/intersex resources for those of us born with no vagina to get help and support.

Here is a link to Esther reading a portion of her Missing Vagina Monologue

On October 22, 2011, there is a planned M.R.K.H. Conference for Teens and Their Parents in Boston. See MRKH conference for more details.

If I can get support, I will attempt to host a similar gathering for ladies with MRKH who are older than 22 with their families around the same time frame next year.

I wrote my memoir Bad Girl Gone Mom, with the hope of helping other girls, and not only has it done that I've been told, but it has also helped every day people recognize that gender is not strictly black and white. Gender is a rainbow of colors and we are each beautiful in our own way.

I'm happy to be doing what I am doing. Writing my story has been cathartic and meeting other girls who understand has been better than I ever dreamed possible.

PS. Thank you Esther for linking my story to mrkh.org.