Gail Vaz-Oxlade's Blog, page 13

Books, Books & More Books

The 100 Foot Journey by Richard C Morais was an absolute delight. I know they’ve made it into a movie, but the writing is terrific so don’t skip the book. It’s Hassan’s story of being born in Mumbai, immigrating first to England and then to France. The thread throughout is food: Hassan has the equivalent of perfect pitch when it comes to untangling flavours and, as a result, has the potential to become a great chef. Born above his grandfather’s modest restaurant in Mumbai, Hassan first experienced life through intoxicating whiffs of spicy fish curry, trips to the local markets, and gourmet outings with his mother. It culminates with Hassan finding the truth about what makes for exquisite food. Along the way, I was delighted by charming characters and even more delicious writing.

 

The Long Way Home by Louise Penny is book #10 in the Inspector Gamache series. The good inspector is retired in his beloved Three Pines. But he’s not done finding his man just yet. When Clara Morrow asks him to help her find her husband, Peter, Armand Gamache can’t say no. Together with his former second-in-command, Jean-Guy Beauvoir, and once-upon-a-time psychologist Myrna Landers, Gamache and Clara journey deeper and deeper into Québec, to the very mouth of the great St. Lawrence River. It’s an area so remote the first mariners called it The land God gave to Cain. There they discover the terrible damage done by jealousy and hatred.

 

Heros are my Weakness by Susan Elizabeth Phillips is romance and a mystery tied together. Susan Elizabeth Phillips is my weakness, I think I’ve read everything she’s written. This one’s a little different since some of the characters are puppets – yes puppets. Annie Hewitt is a down-on-her-luck ventriloquist who returns to Peregrine Island broke and desperate to find the treasure her dying mom promised she had left her there. She runs into the boy she used to suck face with as a teenager, and who she believes betrayed her in the worst possible way: he tried to kill her. Not the typically light, humorous romance I’ve grown used to, but I did enjoy it.

 

We are all Completely Beside Ourselves by Karen Joy Fowler was a delight. Rosemary tells the story of life before and after her sister Fern disappears from her life. Fern’s leaving affects everyone in the family in significant ways. Mom never quite recovered, Dad was resolved, and her brother Lowell took off to become an animal activist. Rosemary recovers lost memories as she tells the story. You’ll be surprised.

 

30 Postcards Away by Sara Ventas and translated by Erica Mena was lovely. It tells the story of Sofia, who isn’t running away from love… well, maybe she is. She’s a little cynical after her last breakup. So when she meets Jamie, she thinks he’s way too serious. Handsome and well-dressed he also smells delicious so he keeps playing on her mind. Through a series of miss-communications and over thinking, Erica and Jamie end up in a dance as they try to come to terms with their feelings. Then, just as things are coming together, Jamie and Sofia find themselves in an even more precarious situation that just may keep them apart for good.

 

600 Hours of Edward by Craig Lancaster was another book that made me laugh out loud. So much so when I was finished it, Alex immediately got into to and also enjoyed it thoroughly. It tells the story of 39-year old Edward Stanton, who has both Asperger’s syndrome and OCD. He lives alone because his father couldn’t stand to have him at home any more. His schedule is ridged and constructed around such activities as tracking his wake-up time and his tv watching: he loves the 1960s show Dragnet and watches it every night at 10:00 p.m.

 

Flat out Love by Jessica Park. Julie Seagles moves in with her mom’s old roommate from university while she’s in Boston. The Watkins are happy to include her in the family, but Julie soon realizes she’s walked into something a little odd. Yes, her mom’s old roommate is a little eccentric. And yes, the youngest daughter seems to have some serious social anxiety problems. But then there’s Matt, with is oddball T-shirts. And there’s Finn, with home Julie flat-out falls in love via Facebook. Everything blows up in Julie’s face.

 

The Chaperone by Laura Moriarty is set in 1922 New York, and is the story of how Cora Carlisle becomes the chaperone for a famous actress who will be an icon for her generation. Louise Brooks is only 15 when she heads to NYC to spend 5 weeks at a special arts school to discover her inner actress. Cora is on a quest to discover the truth about her parentage. This is the dawning of the 20th century where rules are broken and anything is possible.

 

How Well Do You Sleep?

I have friends who complain about not being able to get “a good night’s sleep.” I usually laugh and say, “It’s cos we’re old now and we need less sleep.” That’s what I was always told about getting older: we would sleep less just when we had the time to sleep more. Personally I’ve been on a journey to increase my sleep. After more than 2 decades of getting between four and six hours sleep a night, starting when I had kids, I’m embracing sleep in its every form.

On Mondays, because I do my radio show from 10-midnight when I’d normally be asleep, I take a nap in the afternoon after lunch so my brain is still working later. Sometimes when I’m writing and I hit a wall, I take a short kip – maybe 20 or 30 minutes – and when I wake up I’m ready to go again. Overall I’m aiming for about 8 hours of sleep in total, but I don’t much care how many times I have to turn my brain off to get it.

Most folks think that if they don’t sleep for 8 hours a night, they’re sleep deprived. This is what the experts call a monophasic sleep cycle, which turns out to be only one of five different ways to get your battery recharged.

We didn’t always sleep a full eight hours of uninterrupted sleep at night. If you wake for a couple hours in the middle of the night and you’re anxious that you’re going to suffer for it the next day, take heart. Midnight wakefulness was normal a couple of centuries ago.

While many experts recommend an uninterrupted night’s sleep, this suggestion hasn’t done our stress levels any good, especially if we’re not natural through-the-night sleepers.

Instead of fighting your middle-of-the-night wakings, consider this: the most important of any sleep cycle is the Stage 4 REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep. This is when your brain truly benefits the most. If you go by a monophasic sleep cycle, you’ll fall into REM about 45-75 minutes after you clock out. But when you change to a polyphasic cycle, you’ll actually go into REM sleep immediately. You’ll get the benefits of monophasic sleep without having to wait all that time for your REM cycle.

Here are some examples of polyphasic sleep cycles:

The Uberman Cycle in which you sleep for 20 to 30 minutes every 4 hours; yup, that’s 6 naps a day.


The Everyman Cycle in which you sleep for 3-4 hours but then nap for 20-30 minutes three times a day. I expect this is the only way for some new parents to make it through with their sanity.


The Dymaxion Cycle in which you sleep for 30 minutes every 6 hours. I know that only adds up to 2 hours of sleep but proponents say it’s great. May, can you imagine how much you could get done with 22 working hours a day!


The Biphasic/Siesta Cycle in which you sleep for about 5 hours at night, and take a 90 minute kip around noon. Whole cultures embrace this sleep pattern.


The Triphasic in which you take 3 naps a day that line up with your circadian rhythm: the first is taken an hour or two after dusk, another is taken just before dawn so you’re waking up after the sun rises and the third is sometime between 1 and 4 pm when your alertness naturally drops off.

The toughest part of changing your sleep cycle is that everyone else will be awake when you’re asleep and vice versa. That can be a bummer and has made more than one polyphasic sleeper give up no matter how great they feel with their unusual approach to sleep. Being separated from their mates, their kids, their business associates by their unusual sleep pattern takes its toll eventually.

All this is to say that finding the sleep pattern that works best for you is up to you. If you lie awake at night wondering how you will ever make it through the next day, if you toss and turn trying to fall asleep, you’re not doing yourself any good. Maybe there’s a way for you to rearrange your day so you can take a restorative nap mid afternoon to make up for the sleep you lost at night. Right after lunch when digestion compounds with time of the day is the point at which your circadian cycle (your body natural sleep regulation rhythm) will help you fall asleep quickly.

 

For most people 20 minutes of sleep is perfect. If you wake up from a nap feeling groggy and worse off for having slept, you likely slept too long. Some people recommend having a cup of coffee before the nap because the caffeine will kick in just as you’re supposed to wake up.

 

 

9 Money Mistakes

It’s easy to make mistakes with your money, particularly when so many other people are doing exactly the same thing you are. How bad can it be if everyone is doing it? So how many of these money mistakes are you making?

1. Carrying a balance on credit cards or on a line of credit. Sadly, many people don’t even know how much they owe. They keep their debt in little piles, never adding it up so they don’t have to face the truth. They say things like, “My debt isn’t anywhere near as bad as my sister-in-law’s” and then pat themselves on the back. If you’re carrying a balance it means you’re spending more money than you make. Stop.

2. Letting expenses get out of control. Expenses have a tendency to creep up, Up, UP. And if you aren’t paying close attention, they can eventually exceed your income. When was the last time you look over your bills to see how much they’ve gone up since you signed up? Has your income gone up as much as your hydro, cable, and gas bill? That’s why a spending journal is so important. Writing it down consistently keeps you paying attention to the details. What a concept!

3. Taking payday loans. What the hell are ya thinking? If you can’t afford to live on what you’re making now, how are you going to make it through next week when you have to repay the loan, plus the interest (upwards of 700%, when you include the fees). If you need money that badly, sell something or get another job.

4. Having no emergency fund. Experts have been touting the importance of having an emergency fund since Betty White was a lass. So why is it that so many people still don’t have enough (or any) money set aside, just in case? The rule of thumb is that you should have enough cash to cover six months’ worth of essential expenses. Cash in the bank means you have options so you can deal with whatever life throws at you. No cash, no options!

5. Buying a house that’s too expensive. Little money down, amortized forever has led people to believe they can afford houses that are more expensive than they can actually manage. If you had to save 20% of a $400,000 house – that’s $80,000 – you might think twice about buying such an expensive house. I know real estate values have gone through the roof, but that’s no excuse for strapping your cash flow to the point where you’re living on the edge all the time. That’s a sure way to destroy your relationship.

6. Paying only the minimum amount on debt. So you really don’t want to be out of debt then, right? And you don’t much care how much it costs you? If you haven’t made a debt repayment plan that has a specific end-date, you’re spinning your wheels. The only way to get to debt free is to do the math. Divide what you owe by the number of months until you want to be out of the red. Add your monthly interest costs. THAT’s how much you have to pay to be done with debt.

7. Using debt to repay debt. If you’re using balance transfers or cash advances on credit cards to make minimum payments, or using your line of credit to pay your minimum on your credit card, you’re a full-fledged money moron. This used to be illegal, but in the name of marketing and selling more credit, the balance transfer (using credit to pay credit) was created and now the line is so blurred that people think it’s fine. It’s not. And it’s going to catch up with you eventually.

8. Not saving for retirement. If you think social security will be enough for retirement, imagine what your life will be like if you retire with only $20,000 a year to live on. You know what you make now. You know what you spend. What will you be able to do if your income is only about $1,667 a month or $385 a week? Where will you live? What will you eat? How will you get around? The next time you’re contemplating dropping money on some non-essential item, ask yourself how many weeks of improved living you could have if you saved even a portion of what you plan to spend.

9. Not having a budget. I don’t care who said you didn’t need a budget they were a) uninformed, b) hoping you’d pick up the tab c) lying to you. If you don’t have a budget you have no plan for how you’ll spend your hard-earned money. Seriously? You drag your sorry butt out of bed through sickness and bad weather to go to work and then you don’t have a plan for what you’ll do with the money? Geeze.

Balancing It All

You’ve probably heard people talking about work/life balance. Makes it sound like work isn’t part of life, doesn’t it? Sets things up as kind of a struggle between what you do to make a living and life itself. I have a problem with that.

I know that there are people who don’t like their jobs. That’s a sad thing when you think of how much of your life’s energy you put into your work. And when people continue to do work that saps their life’s energy leaving little for the other parts of their lives, well, that’s just beyond sad.

But it is also a choice. Nobody is making you do a job you hate, or making you hate the job that you do. That’s your choice.

As for the work-life balance thing, I’d like you to consider that your life isn’t just “work” and “life”. Really your life is “work or school,” “home and family,” “the community in which you live,” and “the private you.” That private you is the time you spend with yourself, thinking, reflecting on what you believe, tending to your own well-being. This is often the part of the equation that get whittled away as the other parts of our lives shout loudly, demanding more and more attention.

Harmoniously integrating the four aspects of life doesn’t mean every quadrant will always get its equal share. Some give and take will always be called for so that whatever needs the most attention at a given moment gets the attention needed. Even so, you must always be vigilant so that you’re not pushed away from what is most important to you.

You’ve likely heard me tell the story of how I initially wasn’t going to get involved in TV because the time demand was greater than I was prepared to give. With a ten- and twelve-year-old, I knew exactly how much time I was prepared to be away from home. So when the first schedule came, I declined the offer to participate. We’re talking good money here… and an opportunity to make a huge difference. But the kids came first, so I said, “No thanks.” It wasn’t until we made the schedule fit my criteria that I said yes.

No, I wasn’t rich. I wasn’t famous. I just knew what I could and could not live with, and I stayed true to my beliefs. And that’s one of the most important parts of balancing it all: you must stay true to yourself no matter how tempted you are to “give a little.” If you heard the number of times I was told I would just have to compromise! Turns out I didn’t have to compromise at all. And when the pressure to compromise grew to the point where I hated going to work, I gave up the job rather than giving up my values.

Harmonious integration also means seeing how the four aspects of your life are connected. Keeping each aspect in its own room doesn’t allow you to learn the lessons across the whole YOU. And that’s what you want… to be able to apply the knowledge and skills gained in one arena to another.

I once knew a woman who was fabulous at managing her company’s finances. Her personal finances were a hot mess; she was always stealing from Peter to pay Paul. The same skill sets were required for both and yet she was incapable of integrating her skills.

Sometimes what’s required to integrate your aspects is that you get creative. Think outside the box. Change up times, change up ingredients, change up how others interact with you.

When I had my daughter my whole sleep schedule changed. Alex didn’t sleep through the night for three years. When I found myself lying in bed at 4 a.m. trying fruitlessly to get back to sleep I realized how ridiculous that was. And thus began my 4 a.m. writing schedule. After settling Baby Girl back down, I’d head to my computer to write. I’d get a solid 3 hours in before I had to get the kids up. Morning is still my most creative writing time, but I don’t get up at 4 a.m. anymore because, yet again, my life has changed and I now have more time to sleep.

How you integrate the aspects of your life will change as your life changes. You can’t ever set it and forget it. But if you develop the skill of keeping it in perspective, you’ll be healthier and happier for it.

This & That: Mish Mash Edition

S Wrote: In speaking with my mortgage broker this week, she suggested that I roll my LOC debt into my mortgage when it comes time for renewal (next year). The LOC (racked up paying my family lawyer), is at about $40K. The mortgage will be at about $190K when I renew. Unless the ex decides to take me to court again, which is entirely possible, I don’t anticipate dipping into the LOC as I have my budget fully under control. I’m chipping away at my debts and building an Emergency Fund slowly but surely. The problem is that I am making lower payments than I’d like to be making on this LOC debt (interest +$100 per month), because I am also paying off my student loan (about $5000 left) and a car loan ($12,000). However, the student and car loans will be done with a few months before I renew my mortgage and I will be able to snowball that money ($238 + 572) into the LOC payments, bringing them up to about $1100. Still, with the LOC barely moving right now it will still be very high when I have to renew my mortgage. So my question is, is it advisable to put the LOC into my mortgage? At this rate I won’t be debt free in three years from today, but once my student loan and car loan are gone, I will be able to pay the LOC in three years. So won’t I end up paying much more interest on the LOC in the long run if I put it into my mortgage? I wasn’t sure if my broker was saying that I should do this to eliminate the LOC payment, or if she was saying I have to do this because nobody will renew my mortgage with such a big debt on my credit bureau report. I know sometimes you advise this sort of refinancing but I’m confused as to whether it is advisable in this situation. What are your thoughts?

Gail Says: Your mortgage should carry a lower interest rate than the LOC, leaving more of your payment to go to the principal. So as long as you commit to following through with rolling the car and student loan payment money towards your mortgage, consolidation makes sense. Don’t raise your mortgage payment amount beyond the normal calculation; instead make sure you have a good prepayment option and stick the money into the mortgage that way so you don’t strap your cash flow too tight.

 

S Wrote: I followed a tip from your Money Rules book and sought out a free credit rating report from Equifax. However, they are refusing to process my request until I provide a copy of my SIN #. I checked with my local Service Canada office, which issues these numbers and they advised me not to provide a SIN number for a credit check. They provided me with a written statement of when a SIN # should be released (employment, mortgage etc), and I forwarded this onto Equifax, but they are still refusing to complete the credit check.

So, I’m at an impasse. What to do? Should I give out my SIN #, which I guard obsessively to minimize the risk of identity theft? Or, just give up as I know I have excellent credit?

Gail Says: The credit bureau wants your SIN to ensure that you are YOU. They need as much identifying criteria as they can get to make sure they don’t mess up and mix you up with someone else. It’s fine for Service Canada to say not to give them your SIN, but then you won’t get a copy of your credit report. You have to decide if you trust the credit bureau enough to provide this information or are prepared to not get your credit bureau report.

 

J Wrote: I have three credit cards. I’ve had two for almost a decade, and I got the third less than 2 years ago when Target opened in Canada to take advantage of the discount that came with it. I pay the cards off in full when I use them. However, I don’t need this third card now that Target is leaving Canada. There’s no monthly fee associated with the card, but I’m wondering should I cancel it anyway? Will my credit score be affected if I do?

Gail Says: You’ll likely take a small down-tick on your score for cancelling the card, but do you really care? If you’re not carrying balances, you’re not paying interest. And if you’re not applying for credit anytime soon, the score will correct itself in a couple or three months.

 

G Wrote: Why do you reward people who have gotten themselves into debt? I think people who do not get themselves into debt in first place should be rewarded. I could use $5000.00 for not getting myself into debt in the first place.

Gail Says: And the premise of your TV show would be what? Look at this interesting guy who lives within his means. You do realize that the network has the say as to what shows get made and what shows don’t, right?

 

L Wrote: I am 65, working, and collecting CPP and Old Age in order to pay lawyers for a seemingly never ending divorce. I have few savings due to this and have had conflicting advice on RRSP vs TFSA. Would I be better to take money out of my TFSA and put into my RRSP for the upcoming tax period or just leave the TFSA and try to put more money there? I have not been contributing to RRSP’s for the past 3 years as any extra money needed to be allotted to my lawyer. I have only been collecting CPP & OA since November and have a small amount of debt I have been paying off with it, but need to be sure I am getting the most value I can so I can hopefully look forward to retirement without worry within the next few years. You have been a huge inspiration to me since leaving a relationship full of debt and a spouse that refused to acknowledge the problem.

Gail Says: Unless you are in a high tax bracket where the RSP contribution will save you a whack of tax (which you can then plow back into the TFSA) I would simply put any extra money into the TFSA. Once the debt is paid off, put as much of those government benefits away as possible for the future.

 

D Wrote: I thought I was a financial guru, until now. I read the books, watched your show, minimized my expenses and still managed to drop the ball. I had a small Emergency Fund and used it very quick. I have been putting everything I could towards my mortgage. I have $69,000 in available funds that I could borrow from but it would be slowing me down from my goal to pay it completely. I had taken a 3 year term at a rate of 2.78 per cent and said to myself and my wife, the bank didn’t want to give us as good a rate for a 5 year term, we will pay it off in 3. So far so good, I am 18 months away from my goal but didn’t have enough of an emergency fund to get by with my wife losing her job. Actually my mortgage is up February 2017 but my pace to pay it is August 2016. It is wrong to use my mortgage as an emergency fund although I felt that holding extra in the mortgage would save me interest in the long term. The good news is my car, boat and motorcycle are all paid and I have no credit card or any other debt besides the mortgage. The job loss slows me down from my goal but I am not out of the game yet. Is it wrong to use my mortgage as an Emergency Fund although I felt that holding extra in the mortgage would save me interest in the long term? $48,000 to go on the mortgage and counting.

Gail Says: Now you know why the Emergency Fund is so important. As for whether it is wrong to have put the money into your mortgage, that depends on whether you can get at the money now, or must take a loan (and pay interest, higher than your mortgage) until your mortgage comes up for renewal (at which point you should be able to do an equity take-out to boost your emergency fund.) Everyone has different ways of doing things. If you can get access to credit and are willing to eat the interest costs, hey, then you can make it work.

 

N Wrote: My husband and I are both 53 years of age and both work full-time with a combined gross income of approximately $110,000/year. We have paid out our mortgage and have no credit cards. We do have a car payment and also a line of credit, which concerns me the most. The balance we owe on the line of credit is roughly $90,000. We are making regular payments and extra payments with my husband’s overtime, income tax refunds, etc. but I’m not sure what it’s going to take to get this paid off. Any suggestions?

Gail Says: Have you figured out how much to pay in order to get it paid off by a specific date. This is the step people seem to skip. If you decide you want to take 5 years to get it paid off, you take the principle and divide it by 60 (months). That would = $1,500/month to the principal. Then you have to calculate the interest. Take the principal, multiply by the interest rate, divide by 100 and then again by 12. So if your interest rate were 5%, it would be $90,000 x 5 ÷ 100 ÷ 12 = $375, which is what you’d have to pay in interest, for a total of $1,875 a month. Now you plug in your numbers and make your plan.

 

A Wrote: I had a question for you that I hope you could help me answer, or at least give me your input on. I’ve paid off $22k in debt, with $11k remaining. My debt free date was anticipated to be July 2015, but I don’t see that happening anymore.

I fleshed out my taxes and I owe $3k. I don’t have that set aside to pay the CRA, so I started looking at RRSP Loans. Tangerine has loans for 1.5%, but I’d have to borrow around $7,500 to get me to zero taxes owed (my highest marginal tax rate is 39%). That means the $1,000 I have for debt repayment on my $11k debt (at 0%) would be chopped down to about $350 per month because of the RRSP instalment loan.

The trouble I’m coming up against us that it would just be a starting a double-edged sword/cycle. Through work I am saving 14% of my gross salary for retirement (tax adjusted by payroll); even while paying 30% (ish) to debt. But if I’m taking the next 12 months paying off this RRSP Loan, I won’t be able to get ahead for next year at tax time when I will again owe about $3k – the $3k in taxes comes from a property that wouldn’t sell and isn’t quite cash flow positive when taxes are involved.

So I guess what I’m asking is, am I better to get debt free this year and pay the $3k in taxes, letting me still be debt free by the end of 2015, thereby getting in front of the taxes for next year? Otherwise I feel like it’ll be a cycle of RRSP loans for indefinite future.

Gail Says: You are absolutely right about the fact that the RSP loan, although considered “good debt” would in fact still be debt and would put you on a cycle of borrowing and paying back RSP loans. You are better off paying the taxes and then saving the money for future RSP contributions. In the meantime make sure you’re claiming for everything you can on your taxes. And figure out why you underpaid this year so it doesn’t happen to you again.

Keep in mind that if you’re already contributing 14% of your gross income to savings for retirement, depending on your age (if I remember correctly you’re in your 30s right?) this is probably enough. Make sure you have a rock-solid emergency fund and have put your disability insurance in place before you save more for retirement.

 

D Wrote: I was wondering if you had an opinion on the trade-off for young folks like myself between maximizing RRSP contributions (at least up to $25,000) now for the tax return to build a down payment faster, or saving the RRSP contribution room for later on when you are in a higher tax bracket to get more out of the contribution room? I know a lot of it would be subjective around how eager you are to buy a house, but I am curious in terms of the math of the relative value of purchasing a home to grow in value for a little longer or hanging onto the contribution room.

Gail Says: Just because you make the contribution to the RRSP doesn’t mean you have to claim the deduction. You can hold that deduction until a year in which your tax bracket is higher before you claim. Yes, I know most people don’t realize this, but it is true. So go ahead and make your RSP contributions to build up your home down payment, but don’t claim the deductions until you get the tax-bang you’re looking for.

 

 

 

 

 

Gail’s Best Steak Sandwich Ev-ah!

This sandwich has a lot of steps, I’ll warn you now. But the separate pieces can be used for other things too. The mushrooms can go into pasta, the onions/peppers can go on fish. Both can go in an omelet or quiche.

I make this sammie all the time. It’s a standard in my house, despite all the steps involved. And it is totally worth the time and effort. Rewarms like a dream too.

Mushrooms:

2 cups mushrooms: Portobello and white, sliced
2 tbs olive oil
2 clove garlic, chopped fine
2 tsp salt
1/3 cup white or red wine

Warm the olive oil and garlic together until the oil is fragrant. Add mushrooms and cook on medium for about 15 minutes. Sprinkle with salt. Continue to cook. Add the wine, and cook for another 10 minutes.

 

Onions/Peppers:

1 large sweet onion, halved and cut into thin lengths
1 red pepper, cut into thin strips
½ lime
½ tsp scotch bonnet pepper
½ tsp olive oil

Add the olive oil to the pan and warm. Add the onions and cook for about 7 minutes. Then add red peppers and cook for another 4 minutes. Squeeze the lime juice onto the veggies in the pan. Add the scotch bonnet pepper sauce and continue to cook for another 5 minutes until the onions are soft.

 

Steak:

12 oz of steak
1 tsp olive oil
1 tsp Montreal steak spice
½ tsp Wooster sauce
1 tbs butter

Mix olive oil, seasoning and wostershire sauce. Pour over steak and marinate for up to a day.

Put the steak under the broiler (or on the BBQ) and cook steak to medium-rare (or medium). Then cut steak into strips.

Alternatively, heat a pan to sizzling, put the steak in the pan, turn at about the 2 minute mark. Repeat once. Then add a tab off butter to the pan to finish. (You can slice the steak and add it back to the pan with the butter if you like.)

 

Balsamic vinegar reduction:

Add about a cup of balsamic vinegar to a small pot. Simmer until reduced by ¾. You can season your reduction with rosemary or add a little red wine for extra flavor. In the end you want a sticky but runny reduction that will blow your mind!

 

Garlic bread:

French stick or Italian break, sliced
3 tbs butter
1 clove garlic

 

Soften the butter and add the garlic. If you make this a couple of days ahead, it’s even better. Butter slices of break and put in the oven and toast until crisp.

 

To assemble sandwich:

Garlic toast on the bottom, then the steak, then the onions/peppers, then the mushrooms. Drizzle with balsamic vinegar reduction.

 

 

Superstitions

We are a superstitious lot. Spill salt and you’ll have to toss some over your shoulder to avoid bad luck. And, for heaven’s sake, don’t break a mirror or open an umbrella indoors. Some of our superstitious are about making wishes come true. You know the one that says, “It’s 11:11, make a wish!” My friend Tina seems to hit the 11:11 wish-making pool a lot if her FB page is anything to go by. But do you know where the superstition comes from? Is it based on anything or just a nod to the symmetry of the numbers? And does sit even matter? Would you pass up an opportunity to make a wish?

We certainly wouldn’t on our birthdays. We cover our cakes with candles, light ‘em up and blow ‘em out. That wishing tradition goes back to the ancient Greeks who put candles on the baked goods they took as offerings to the temple of Artemis, goddess of hunt and the moon. They believed the smoke would carry their prayers to the gods.

Then there’s the wishbone. This used to be a thing when my family had a roast chicken on Sunday. My dad would hold one side and I the other and we’d snap the wishbone. The person with the longer end would get their wish. This dates back to the Etruscans who believed that chickens held prophetic powers and used the bits of bone like an ancient Ouija board.

Back in the 1800 girls began blowing on dandelions to see if true loves would return our feelings. The Greco-Egyptian writer and astronomer Ptolemy believed that shooting stars were a sign that the gods were listening to wishes. And most of us know the rhyme: Star light, star bright, First star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, Have the wish I wish tonight” which dates back to the late 19th century and was turned into a song when Disney made the movie Pinocchio in 1940: When you wish upon a star.

But why the dickens do we wish on eyelashes? When I was growing up, if you found an eyelash you’d put it on the back of your hand and blow it away as you made a wish. If it went, you’d get your wish. If not…. LOSER!

Are ladybugs really lucky? According to farmers, if one lands on you make and wish and it’ll come true. These little red gems have long been a symbol of a good harvest. And I’ve been told that they also represent the Virgin Mary.

The one “make a wish” I won’t participate in is throwing money into a well – or today’s idea of a well, the MALL FOUNTAIN. Nope, I just can’t do it. And now with the demise of the penny, those wishes have escalated in price to a nickel so there’s even less chance of me changing my mind.

Do you have things in your culture that you consider to be particularly lucky? Do you think of yourself as superstitious?

I’ve always considered myself a lucky girl. And whenever I get a chance to make a wish I take it, as long as it doesn’t cost me money. I don’t count on those wishes to make me happy though. To be happy I know I have to work hard and be determined to make my own good luck.

What’s Your Unconscious Spending Costing You?

When everything’s rolling along hunky-dory, it’s easy to get into the habit of spending money. The full-on cable package with a side order of sports or movies is an easy buy when money is aplenty. The extra-large latte as you’re rolling into work becomes a must-have. And lunches are a well-deserved reward for all the extra hours you put in. Thousands of bucks out the window without a second thought. Unconscious, habitual spending with only a momentary payback. Instant gratification at its finest.

If you’re buying coffee a couple times a day and dropping $4.75 a pop, that’s $2,280 a year. No, I’m not suggesting you give up your fix completely. Switch your caffeine dealer or sip smaller and send the rest to your emergency fund or your long-term savings. It’s not about going without; it’s about loving every sip even as you limit your indulgence so you have some money for other important things.

Lunches out are another way unconscious spending gobbles up money. An entrée can run to $15. Add a beverage or a cup of tea with the caramel praline cheesecake for dessert and you’re shelling out $35 with tax and tip. Do that three times a week and watch $5,360 a year go down the toilet, literally.

Grocery shopping is a completely different experience than it was when our parents were raising us. We buy cherries off-season for $10 a kilo. A single dragon fruit can run to $4. We buy mangos, star fruit and avocados in the depths of winter. We buy organic and we pay a pretty penny for the option. How much of what you buy is purchased on impulse? Boy, those hothouse tomatoes smell great, don’t they? Do you end up using it all, or do you throw out those impulse purchases because you never get around to using it all up?

If you don’t shop with a list, you’re leaving yourself susceptible to all the contrivances retailers have come up with to separate you from your money. Become conscious of what you’re buying and you can cut your grocery bill by 30%. If you’re currently averaging $1200 a month for food, that’ll save you over $4,300 a year.

Most people spend more on their insurance than they should. Insurance is yucky, after all, and having put it in place it’s easier to just keep paying whatever you agreed to and not think about it too much. Want to save some money? Most insurers offer a multi-vehicle discount, which can add up to 10% off both cars. ?Switch your home policy to the same insurer and save another 5%. Ask about age, low mileage, anti-theft, occupational and auto club discounts, all of which could save you money. And raise your deductibles to $1,000. Potential overall savings? About 35%, which could translate into $1,260 a year.

Carrying a balance on your credit cards? About half of us do. And, sadly, many of us are unconscious enough not to know what it’s costing us. (Or maybe we don’t what to know!) Time to get those statements out to see what you’re paying. More than 9.9%? With your terrific credit history, you should be getting a better deal. Throw your weight around to have your interest rate lowered. Failing that, get a cheaper card and transfer your balance. A $5,000 balance at 18.9% costs $945 a year in interest. Get the rate down to 9.9% and cut costs by almost half. Better yet, get a teaser rate of 2.5%, and save $820 a year. That’s got to be worth a call or two.

On average we spend about four hours a day watching TV. If you’re not a couch potato then the $100 a month you’re spending on The Ultimate Cable Package is a waste. Never mind having the whole world at your clicker-tips. Buy only what you watch. Spend half as much and you’ll have another $600 in savings.

Federal and provincial governments see cigarettes as a major source of income. Are you STILL smoking? Seriously? Smoking a pack a day eats up almost $4,500 a year. Sipping three bottles of moderately priced wine a week swallows $2,500 of your hard-earned money. Ordering in pizza a couple of times a week so you don’t have to cook after you finally get home from hockey or dance or karate with the kids will nibble another $1,700 of your income. It’s easy to spend money without giving it a second thought. It’s also very expensive.

We’ve watch all the essentials of life go up in price – gasoline, hydro, heating and food have jumped in cost in the past year. As we head into what promises to be another cold winter, this is a good time to take a second look at the where your money is going? If you’re unconsciously spending money on things that aren’t adding any real value to your life, maybe it’s time to re-think that unconscious spending so you can save some money.

Make Happiness Your Purpose

Have you ever had the sense that you’ve been put on this earth for a purpose? Ever wondered what your purpose is? I believe that the purpose of my life is to be happy and to make as many other people as I can happy.

I smile a lot. I laugh out loud. I hug at the drop of a hat. I am happy. And I try to help other people find their happy. When I see someone struggling, I lend a hand. If I hear worry or heartbreak in a voice, I offer an ear. I reach out and touch to let others know I am willing to share my happy with them.

I’m not always happy. I have my days when I fall out of happy. I don’t so much rush to get back in as try to figure out what happened and what I can do to alleviate the not-happy. Everyone gets angry. Everyone feels sad. Life can be a bitch. But if you stay in the nasty zone, you’re doing yourself more harm, so I find a way to kick my ass back into happy.  That’s because I know my happiness is my responsibility.

I am far more productive when I’m happy. I’m also healthier. And happy is great relationship cement.

Research shows that fear – in which almost all negative emotion is rooted – has been designed to make us heal past wounds and strengthen our capacity to cope. The fear response (whether it’s anger, sadness, or scared-silly-ness) is supposed to make us THINK. It’s designed to help us integrate our experiences to create understanding so we grow.

Handling fear – dealing with the crap life throws at you – is a learned experience. So when I find myself panicking, boiling, cowering, crying, I don’t hide from the experience. When my life sucks, I get mad. Sometimes I cry. But then I figure out what I’m going to do to get back to happy.

Martin Seligman describes a formula for enduring happiness in his book in Authentic Happiness. He says it’s equal to your happiness set point (which is different for all of us) plus your life circumstances, plus your individual habit patterns, which include happy thoughts and happy activities. While you may have been born with a low set point, and your circumstances may suck, if you establish the right habits, you can raise your level of happiness.

Gandhi said, “As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world…as in being able to remake ourselves.” If you’re not happy, what are you going to do about it?

 

This & That: Life Happens Edition

T & A Wrote: We are AVID followers of you and your methods. After 4 years of serious belt buckling… we are 22 months away from being DF (woot woot!). Just as we are planning future contributions to our retirement fund (we are childless in our 40s)…’Life’ happens.

We were approached to obtain legal guardianship of my husband’s 11 year old nephew from out of province. Without question, this bend in the road is a welcome one but also makes us nervous from a financial perspective. As this is an entirely new dimension to our budget/lifestyle, do you have any recommendations for us as we readjust the numbers? Rest assured… a copy of Money-Smart Kids will ready and waiting for him :).

Gail Says: Yes, life just does happen. So you’ll want to take a look at your budget and make a section for your new family member. (I often tell parents they should have a Kids section on their budget to keep track of what they’re spending on things like activities, gifts, allowances, education, clothes and the like.) You’ll need to outfit a room, but don’t go nuts on the “wants”… those can be useful to have in your back pocket down the road. In fact, I’d do the bare minimum to start and then let the young lad have some say in how his room shapes up. While your instinct may be to make everything perfect for him, his idea of perfect and yours will differ. Be prepared for the challenges of a Tweenie. My then 12-year-old kept me hoppin’ I’ll tell ya. Breathe. And if you need to blow off some steam without it ever being held against you, you know where to find me.

 

D & C Wrote: We were wondering about the selection process or criteria you use to pick guests/situations for your television episodes. Most appear to have similar situations – reasonable income, bad spending habits, room for savings, and need for behavioural modification.

We have watched your show and wondered if your approach could be applied to people who live on minimum wage or social assistance? As volunteers for the Peterborough Society of St. Vincent de Paul we regularly see people at our food bank struggling to make ends meet. These are people with very limited financial means – ergo the need for the food bank. This made us wonder if your approach could be applied successfully to people in these types of situations – to improve money management skills to the point that they no longer need support from such services as the food bank? If so, then would you be interested in devoting a TV episode to people in such circumstance, if we could find a volunteer to participate?

 

Gail Says: First off, I’m no longer making TV. As to the question could my approach be used to people who live on minimum wage or social assistance, it depends. If the issue is not enough money — like the people who are on odsp and only have $1,080 a mo — nothing I tell them will help much. I can’t perform magic. And if 50% or more of their income must cover rent, it’s not surprising they are in need of the food bank.

An improvement in money management skills might help manage limited resources, but it won’t fix the problem of not having enough money — or barely having enough money — to make ends meet. You can’t build an emergency fund or long-term savings if you need every red cent to cover basic needs.

It is very sad that though we live in a very affluent country, so many of our people lead lives of quiet desperation. Is $1080 a month really enough to live? I don’t believe it is and I have no answers for all the people making this small an income who write to me for help. It just makes me sad.

 

S Wrote: I made the mistake 30 years ago of letting my husband run the finances. I never had my own bank account. Due to a fidelity issue 5 years ago and a mid-life crisis that followed, his not mine, I made the bold step and opened up my own bank account.

I sat in the parking lot for 1/2 an hour to afraid to go in. I was retired by this time so arranged to have my pension and CPP directly deposited. After deciding not to blow my life up at 60 and stay in the marriage my husband thought everything would go back to the way it was. Newsflash, never again! So at this point he is telling me how much money he needs and demanding I write him a check. I no longer trust much of what he says about anything and I feel I should be paying bills proportionately from my reduced income, not 50/50 like I did our entire married life.

Gail you are about the only person all four of the house members have faith in. My son has his PHD in economics and is forever touting your advice. Can you help me with this? I tried talking to him yesterday about looking at our monthly expenses. He stormed out of the lazy boy and said he had to look after his health and out the door he went. Very mature. I have offered a third party meeting with a therapist, which he refuses.

Gail Says: I am so sorry to hear that you are living through such a tough thing right now. It sounds like you’re hanging on to your sense of humour, which you will need. You should be paying proportionate to your income, that’s fair, as long as that means the bills get paid. Perhaps if he won’t talk about the money (old dogs find it hard to learn new tricks), then at the very least you want to see all the bills being paid so you know what’s what. If he were to turn up his toes tomorrow, that would not be the time to be trying to find out what’s what financially. So, give him not a cent until he presents you with three months’ worth of bills that you can average to see where you stand. Then make your decisions about how you’ll proceed.

 

S Wrote: Recently I received a new card in the mail for a credit card account which I have had for many years but do not use – The letter said I requested the card (which I did not) so I called to inquire as to why they were sending me a new card. At first the person I spoke with said it was because my card expired – Which is incorrect, I know the card doesn’t expire until 2017. Once I stated that they then told me it was because I closed my student account with the bank the credit card was through and it was previously a student credit card so that’s what triggered the new card. That made sense since I had closed a student account recently so I was satisfied with that answer. A couple weeks down the road I received a letter from the same company stating as per my request they had raised my limit from $2500 to $5000! It’s a card I NEVER use, and absolutely would not raise the limit on. When I called them they said it was in their records that the last time I called (which was for the previous inquiry as to why they sent me a new card) I requested the increase. They never once asked me about increasing the card. Which I said but it didn’t really seem to matter to them, it was “in there records”. Needless to say I told them I was unhappy with the service I had received and wanted the account closed. Which it has been, I received the letter confirming it. But it still just doesn’t sit right with me that they did that. Is there anyone I can file a complaint with? Or should I just let it go? I care very much about my credit history as I’ve had a mistake show up before which was a major hassle to get off my report because of the incorrect information that was “in the companies records” so it really bothers me that this major credit card company (VISA) feels they can just do whatever they want with my credit card account.

Gail Says: You can file a complaint with the Financial Consumer Agency of Canada. According to their website, “Federally regulated financial institutions have certain legal obligations to consumers, ranging from account-opening requirements to information they must provide you. At FCAC, we investigate complaints that relate to a possible violation of these legal obligations.” You can make a complaint here.

 

B Wrote: I like your realistic approach to financial matters. I will be coming into an inheritance of over $300,000 dollars (may sound great, but am not happy about it). I need to know how to go about handling this amount. What would you recommend? What would you do if you were in my situation? Any help in this matter would be greatly appreciated by me.

Gail Says: I’m very sorry for your loss. No amount of money makes up for the person who we can’t hug anymore.

What you do with your money depends on:

a) your current financial circumstances,
b) your goals for the future.

If you have consumer debt, pay it off. If you haven’t started saving for retirement, it’s time to catch up. If you’ve got all your i’s dotted and your t’s crossed, then it’s time to turn to your goals.

What have you always wanted to do? What will this money help you accomplish? I know this is rather vague at this point, but I don’t have a lot to work with, so if you want to write again, please do.