Gail Vaz-Oxlade's Blog, page 12

The Poetry of Ogden Nash

I love Ogden Nash. Born in 1902 in Rye, New York, he is descended from a general – Francis Nash – who gave his name to Nashville Tennessee. It’s fitting that Ogden Nash was born in Rye as is made clear in his poetry.

A Lady Who Thinks she is 30

Unwillingly Miranda wakes,

Feels the sun with terror,

One unwilling step she takes,

Shuddering to the mirror.

Miranda in Miranda’s sight

Is old and gray and dirty;

Twenty-nine she was last night;

This morning she is thirty.

Shining like the morning star,

Like the twilight shining,

Haunted by a calendar,

Miranda is a-pining.

Silly girl, silver girl,

Draw the mirror toward you;

Time who makes the years to whirl

Adorned as he adored you.

Time is timelessness for you;

Calendars for the human;

What’s a year, or thirty, to

Loveliness made woman?

Oh, Night will not see thirty again,

Yet soft her wing, Miranda;

Pick up your glass and tell me, then–

How old is Spring, Miranda?

 

He wasn’t above mocking his own gender either. He married at 31 and clearly had a handle on what it took to stay married.

 

A Word to Husbands

To keep your marriage brimming

With love in the loving cup,

Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;

Whenever you’re right, shut up.

 

Ogden Nash published 19 books of poetry before he died at the age of 69. My children grew up with Ogden Nash, listening to stories like The Tale of Custard The Dragon, which is a delightful children’s book. I highly recommend it for parents and grands who love to read to their kids. 

Common Cold

Go hang yourself, you old M.D.!

You shall not sneer at me.

Pick up your hat and stethoscope,

Go wash your mouth with laundry soap;

I contemplate a joy exquisite

I’m not paying you for your visit.

I did not call you to be told

My malady is a common cold.

By pounding brow and swollen lip;

By fever’s hot and scaly grip;

By those two red redundant eyes

That weep like woeful April skies;

By racking snuffle, snort, and sniff;

By handkerchief after handkerchief;

This cold you wave away as naught

Is the damnedest cold man ever caught!

Give ear, you scientific fossil!

Here is the genuine Cold Colossal;

The Cold of which researchers dream,

The Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme.

This honored system humbly holds

The Super-cold to end all colds;

The Cold Crusading for Democracy;

The Führer of the Streptococcracy.

Bacilli swarm within my portals

Such as were ne’er conceived by mortals,

But bred by scientists wise and hoary

In some Olympic laboratory;

Bacteria as large as mice,

With feet of fire and heads of ice

Who never interrupt for slumber

Their stamping elephantine rumba.

A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth!

Ah, yes. And Lincoln was jostled by Booth;

Don Juan was a budding gallant,

And Shakespeare’s plays show signs of talent;

The Arctic winter is fairly coolish,

And your diagnosis is fairly foolish.

Oh what a derision history holds

For the man who belittled the Cold of Colds!

 

Sneezing

Did you know that sneezes sometimes erupt at 30-35 miles per hour and spray up to 15 feet away? That’s some serious power, right? Apparently, according to sneeze studies – yes, we even study sneezes – our expulsion is designed to reset our noses, much like a computer reboot.

Whenever I choke on something I end up also sneezing. And when I sneeze, I sneeze seven times. When I was making TV, people would count. They didn’t necessarily come rapid fire, though sometimes they were so huge I thought I’d blow my brains out. Anyhoo, everyone would just wait for the seven, I’d dry my eyes, Tash would fix my makeup and then we’d roll.

I’m weird, right? Maybe not so weird. Are your sneezes lonely. Or as you expel your first mighty “achoo,” is there usually another sneeze lurking right behind? Is it two, three, or even 6 that come after that original sneeze?

If you’re wondering why sneezes seem to come in multi-packs, it has to do with the power behind your nose’s blows. An external stimulant triggers a release of histamines, which irritate nerve cells in the nose, which results in the sneeze. But if your nose thinks the irritant is still lingering it’ll give it another go. So a second sneeze means that the first didn’t do its job.

It doesn’t also require a foreign irritant to trigger a snoot full of sneezes. Since sneezes start in your nerves, plucking your eyebrows may set off a sneeze. Some people sneeze when they exercise because their noses and mouths dry up and their nose reacts by starting to drip, creating a sneeze. And some people sneeze when they have sex. About 20% of the population will sneeze after staring at bright lights. It’s a genetic condition called a photic sneeze reflex, and its mechanisms aren’t very well understood.

Some researchers believe that rapid pupil constriction may trigger the nerves related to sneezing, but no one knows for sure. I’m in this group of sneezers and I think it’s also the reason why when I cough I follow up with a whole bunch of sneezes. My histamine response goes into overdrive and I have to wait for it to play out.

Despite the urban legend, your heart doesn’t stop – it doesn’t even skip a beat – when you sneeze. But your eyes do close. It’s an involuntary reflex, much like how your leg swings when the doctor taps your knee with that little hammer.

If you get the urge to sneeze at a most inopportune time, you may be able to stem the explosion by rubbing your nose or by applying pressure the area above your upper lip just beneath your nose. Push hard. Or take deep breaths and exhale through your nose.

If the sneeze must come, it must come. Holding it in can rupture your eardrums, bust blood vessels or create problems with your diaphragm.

The Lunch Box Saver

Over and over I meet families who are spending thousands of dollars a year eating out. And over and over I challenge them to give up buying lunches and coffees, and substitute food made at home. It’s often a hard sell. I’m not sure why since I love my own cooking much more than the food I can buy in a fast-food joint. There are times when I have a hankering for something I don’t make particularly well (like Chinese hot and sour soup that I’m still trying to master). But, on a day-to-day basis, my food is way better than what one of my fams referred to as, “outside” food.

On one episode of Til Debt Do Us Part, I handed a chick a lunch box with my face on it and told her to use it. While her hubby was the primary cook in the family and would often make her lunch, she’d leave it behind. She didn’t want to give up eating out with her co-workers so she’d end up spending between $8 and $12 a day on food at work. Hello! $12 a day, multiplied by 5 days a week, multiplied by 50 weeks a year equals $3,000 a year. That’s right, THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS. (And those are after-tax dollars!)

Creating a lunch for work does take some time and planning. The first thing out of most people’s mouth is, “I don’t have time in the mornings!” Really? Then get up earlier lazybones! Are you telling me it’s not worth $3,000 a year to you (in after-tax dollars) to get up 15 minutes earlier in the morning? Give your head a shake.

Another great reason for bringing your own lunch to work is so that you get to make healthier choices about what you eat. You control the ingredients. You control the freshness. You control the portions. And you can be as creative as you want to be.

One of our household’s favorite salads is lettuce, red pepper, watermelon, and feta cheese. No dressing needed because the watermelon is so juicy. Yum! You’d be hard-pressed to find a healthier, more delicious salad. And it’s dead easy to pack ahead and eat on the go.

Then, of course, there’s always the sandwich. Loads of people hate the idea of sandwiches because they have a tendency to get soggy. Easy solution: pack each ingredient separately and assemble it at lunchtime. Need to keep the ingredients cold? Freeze a juice box or half-bottle of water to pack with your cold ingredients. You can do this with homemade ice tea or iced-coffee too.

Salads and sandwiches, of course, are easy. But what if you want a hot lunch? It’s easy if you have a microwave at work. But if you don’t or are on the road, consider this marvelous invention called a thermos. It’s brilliant. Soups, fried rice, chili, lasagna, just about anything can go into a thermos. You can make extra for dinner and pack the leftovers for your next day’s lunch. To keep the food hot pre-heat the thermos by pouring boiling water in first for a few minutes, then dumping the water out and adding the reheated food.

Some people say they buy lunch because they love the social aspect of eating out. But being social and going broke is dumb. So pick one day of the week when you’ll eat out with friends and give yourself something to look forward to. Maybe you’ll choose Wednesday (hump day), or Friday to celebrate the end of the week. Whatever day you choose, lunching out once a week instead of five will cut your spending by 80%.

Better yet, start a Lunch Club at work and pick one day a week when you each bring something to contribute to a group lunch. Or challenge each other to find the cheapest good food in your area, and take advantage of the lunch special. All-day breakfasts at $2.99 can’t be beat for value.

Be creative. The idea is to have a great life and save some money, at least until you’re debt free. Hey, if you don’t owe nobody nuttin’, then you can swallow your money to your heart’s desire. But if you’re in hock, or haven’t been saving two red cents for the future, then you owe it to yourself to use all the tricks at your disposal to make your money work as hard as you do.

 

 

It’s a Beautiful Day

Today (I am writing this from afar) the temperature is about 60 degrees (I do heat in Fahrenheit and cold in Celsius… it’s an immigrant thing). The skies are overcast, the air gentle. It could be warmer, it could be sunnier. I don’t care. It’s a beautiful day.

Imagine that every day when you awoke you saw the beauty of the day. Snow falling gently or blowing in great swaths across the sky. Rain pattering or pounding on your windows. Sunshine glowing around you or beating down relentlessly. It’s all beautiful it’s just a matter of perspective. (I’ll give you that driving in blowing snow is challenging, but if you take away the dread you’re feeling and really look, I promise, it’s a beautiful day.)

Each morning we are gifted with so much beauty: dew glistening on warm green leaves, frost sparkling in the sunshine. Last winter when I was out on a very cold morning taking Tabitha for a walk, I remember looking at the road in front of me and seeing all the diamonds glistening back. It was gorgeous. I was lucky to have seen it and appreciated it, instead of rushing to get the damn dog back inside where it was warm.

One of the biggest gifts I’ve been given is the time to wonder at the beauty around me. Whether I’m walking Tabi, sitting in my backyard, or visiting with friends, I take the time to stop and smell the air. I take in huge lungsful of the stuff and smile. It isn’t always apple blossoms where I live; sometimes they’re spreading the fields with manure, and it’s a little stinky. But it is still beautiful.

Lights reflected on a rainy city street are beautiful. Mist rolling across the roads or fields is beautiful. Oh, I get crotchety sometimes: damn and blast it’s cold and wet. But that grouchy doesn’t bring me any joy. So then I look for something lovely to focus on, something delightful to fill my eyes, so I can smile and say, “What a beautiful day.”

We sing songs about beautiful days because we consider them to be magical. We write stories and make movies about beautiful days. But can YOU make a beautiful day? Can you?

I think photographers may have more beautiful days because they have trained their eyes to seek out the magic. Maybe visual artists, too, since they’re so attuned to texture and colour. They also look at things slowly. And maybe that’s the key: to look slowly and observe deeply so you can relish what you’re seeing. They are patient. They seek out the beauty.

Remember the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day off? If you haven’t seen it you should. It’s a classic. Watch for the moment when Ferris says, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and take a look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

Children know this intuitively. They can watch the ants for hours. They take huge delight in the flutter of a butterfly’s wings. They see the rain puddles as things to be joyfully jumped in. They love to try and catch snowflakes on the tips of their tongues. I remember watching my children watch the world, delighting in what they helped me to see.

Maybe if we all looked more slowly, we could all find he beauty in the day, and that would make the day more beautiful all day long.

 

This & That: Reality Check Edition

S Wrote: I’m 23 years old and still live at home… Culturally Punjabi girls stay at home until they are married. It has been tough finding a full-time regular employment but I have had great experience with different government agencies as a casual for the last 4 years making decent money. I’ve worked since I was 16 and I took care of all my personal needs as my mom provides me with shelter, food and payment of my education. I’m still attending university in the evenings and during the day I work (I got a temporary full time position until March 2015)

Anyways, there is my history… my concerns are….

1) I’ve worked for 7 years and don’t have much of a savings. Although I am not in debt, I am not saving nearly enough.

2) I have a lot of discretionary income because I live at home and now that I want to get married soon or move on in my life I’m scared of the reality of going into the real world and trying to take care of my self. How can I transition my self to be financially stable on my own?

3) I want to save for a condo or a house…but I don’t know how to make my money grow.

Gail Says: Making your money grow (investing) isn’t your problem right now, not spending money (saving) is. If you’re living at home with no financial responsibilities, you should have a whack of cash piled up somewhere. The fact that you don’t means you’re cash flow management and your priorities aren’t lined up. So, step one is to decide how much you want to save each month. Step two is to set up a high interest savings account and have that money moved automatically so you don’t spend it. Get a move on.

 

W Wrote: My husband works full time and I work part time. We have a toddler son and another child on the way. Though I work part time, I pay for the mortgage & child care, debt repayment, and my husband picks up the rest of the bills, though with lots of protest. He doesn’t believe in budgeting, believes the money he makes is HIS money to spend as he wants and I’m not left with much to put towards savings, debt repayment or fun. Can you please give me some advice about how to get through to him on the importance of budgeting together, and that it is a good thing. ANY advice would be greatly appreciated!

Gail Says: So let me get this straight, your part-time income is the family money covering the big expenses and his money is his money? Are you frickin’ kidding me? Why would you allow this dynamic to be established? The first thing you should do is a spending analysis to show where your money and his money have been going and figure out what your needs and wants are. If he is unwilling to show you his bank statements/credit card statements and talk about the money then you need to make it clear that if you’re a team working together, you both need to know what’s going on. If he still continues to obfuscate, I suggest you tell him that you don’t intend to pay for anything anymore. You may very well need a big fat emergency fund and now is the time to start building it so all your money will go into a savings account in your name. I know this sounds drastic, but if you’re already into child #2 with this man and he’s not acting like a partner, tough steps must be taken.

If he is willing to sit down and discuss the money, then it’s time to create a budget where you contribute proportionate to your income. If you make 70% of the income, you pay 70% of the family bills. This includes the mortgage, childcare, utilities, all kid-related expenses, food; anything the “family” NEEDS. Wants are a whole different matter.

 

T Wrote: Had a question regarding negotiating a mortgage renewal. My mortgage term comes due December 1, 2014. I have begun shopping around with all banks and lenders, as any good consumer should do. For the record, I never pay “Sticker Price” and I enjoy the art of haggling and negotiating. That said, I figure, all the big lenders want my business badly. Am I crazy to think I can use this as leverage? Many see mortgage renewal time as a pain; I see it as an incredible opportunity! My tactic would be to offer my mortgage business ($220,000), and in exchange, they would write off the balance of my Line of Credit ($15,000). In the long run, they are going to make more than $15,000 from my mortgage, and I will be funnelling more business their way (will also need a car loan soon).

I think of this as “Win-Win” as the big banks can afford to write-off old “smaller” business for new “larger” business. I think of this as my own personal “Bail-Out”. I also realize that they might say “If we do it for you, we have to do it for everyone” but I don’t care about “everyone”, I care about “Me” and my finances. Will this idea get me laughed out the door? Or does this idea have any merit at all?

Gail Says: I don’t know how much luck you’re going to have with your strategy m’love. Asking a bank to eat $15K up front isn’t going to win you any friends. You’d be better off figuring out what reduction in interest rate would garner you the same $15K in savings, shopping the market place to find something that matches (or as close as possible) and presenting that as your strategy. Then you could consolidate the debt to your mortgage and come out even.

 

 

B Wrote: First, thank you for the inspiration, and motivation you provide!!! I’ve watched every episode, every series, and have just finished reading “It’s Your Money” and have just one outstanding question…is there a percentage you suggest to save for a downpayment towards a house? OR should I pay off all my student loan debt before I think about saving?

The Facts:

graduated with an MBA last year
working full time for a year
consolidated my huge student loan debts under a line of credit at a lower interest rate
….zero
every spare dollar….towards paying off debt
renting a condo

Is it smarter to get out of the renting game or the debt repayment game first?

Gail Says: Owning comes with so many more responsibilities financially that being in debt just makes it so much harder. Why not do this? First, figure out what you’d likely spend to buy a place of your own. Calculate the mortgage payment. Add in the property taxes (monthly), utilities, property insurance (I pay about $120/month) and maintenance (estimate $400/month for now, it probably needs to be more, but that’s a start). That’s what it’ll cost you to carry your new home. Subtract the rent you’re currently paying. Put the difference towards getting your school debt paid off. When that’s done, take your full debt repayment amount and use it to save your downpayment.

 

D Wrote: I’m having a hard time making a budget. I suppose my question is, what exactly are the percentages of my income that I should be spending in what category, ie. Rent, food, etc.

 

 

M & TJ Wrote: I just returned to work from maternity leave. While on leave we had the landscaping/deck done and paid with this on our line of credit. We are finding funds very tight now. We both each have two student loans (total of 4 payments per month), a joint line of credit ($32,000), one vehicle loan, and a mortgage. We desperately need to find a way to free up some money and pay some of our debts off. Is it worth it to consolidate student loan debt? What is the best way to begin digging out of this mess?

Gail Says: What in heaven’s name made you take on debt while you were on mat leave? For a deck and landscaping? Really? Didn’t it occur to you BEFORE you took on this debt that it would be a good idea to see how much it would end up costing you once you had factored in the interest? And why would you think your cash flow wouldn’t also have to be affected. Sure you can consolidate your student loans IF you get a lower interest rate and IF someone will give you the credit to cover them. But what you really need to do is stop spending money. Since you’ve had your fun and spent money you haven’t yet earned, now is the time to cut back to the bone so you have the money to pay back your loans. It doesn’t matter what ‘want’ you must go without — coffee, eating out, cable, cell phone data plans, clothes, and the like — you dug this hole and now you must dig yourself out.

Cheesy Potato Soup with Truffle Oil

Who doesn’t love a bowl of soup on a cold day? And nothing beats soup for stretching a budget, right? (If you choose to leave the truffle oil out, I completely understand.) You can fancy it up, shove heaps of veggies in it to get a blast of nutrients or keep it simple, all depending on what you’re feeling for that day. Talk about versatile. So the day I made this soup I was clearly feeling the need for stick-to-my-bones food. I love how it came out. Serve it with a salad or nice crunchy bread. Happy sipping.

 

½ pack of bacon, chopped very small
6 large baking potatoes peeled and cut into chunks
3 cups sweet onion chopped medium
3 cloves garlic, chopped fine
7 cups chicken broth
3/4 cup heavy cream
2 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese
1 ½ tsp truffle oil

Fry bacon in a dutch oven over medium-high heat until crispy. Remove bacon and pour out all but about 2 tbs of the bacon fat.

Add the onion and saute for 5 minutes.

Add the garlic and cook for an additional 1-2 minutes.

Add the chicken broth and potatoes. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low, cover and simmer for 30-40 minutes until potatoes are tender.

Use a potato masher or immersion blender (which is what I use) to cream the soup to your desired level of smoothness. I like to keep some small chunks of potato.

Add the heavy cream, cheddar, truffle oil, cooked bacon pieces, and stir to combine.

This gave me about 8 servings, 4 of which went into the freezer for a day I don’t feel like cooking. You can top with chopped green onion, cheesy croutons, sour cream, chopped red pepper, or whatever else your little heart desires.

Staying Connected

One of the biggest regrets among those who are dying is not staying in closer contact with the important people in their lives. Yup, life gets busy and people slide off our lists! Damn, right?

Some of us think the reason we choose to stay out of reach is because it’s in our natures. But research indicates that connecting can make you happier right now, even if you’re an introvert. Several studies show that the time we spend with friends and family makes a difference to how happy we feel.

According to Daniel Gilbert a professor of psychology at Harvard University and author of Stumbling on Happiness:

We are happy when we have family, we are happy when we have friends and almost all the other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more family and friends.

George Vaillant also of Harvard University is the director of a 75-year longitudinal study of 268 men, the point of which was to identify predictors of healthy aging. He’s been quoted as saying, “…that the only things that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.”

While the old idea that more money will make you happier seems to still have a firm foothold in our psyches, changes in income buy very little happiness. Money definitely doesn’t make us as happy as increasing the strength of our relationships.

Those of us with people to count on when we’re going through times are generally healthier. And while you might think that those folks who feel loved and cared for live would live longest, you’d be wrong. It is the people who help their friends and neighbors, advising and caring for others, who tend to live the longest.

This week, reach out and connect with the people you love whom you just never see. Make time for visiting. And if anyone needs a little help, give it. You’ll be happier for it.

Are YOU Ready to Be an Investor?

Much of the personal finance media is given over to the world of investing. It’s sexy. A lot sexier than telling people to live within their means (geeze!), get their debt paid off (ugh!) or make a will (sigh). One of the questions I get all the time relates to how to step into the world of investing. I’m an investor. You should be too. But not until:

1. All your consumer debt is gone. If you’re carrying consumer debt it’s because you’re spending more money than you make, plain and simple. Job one is to plug the holes and get the debt paid off. No investment is going to return you more money than eliminating your expensive consumer debt.

2. You’re living within your means. That means knowing the difference between wants and needs. And it means prioritizing what’s really important over the desire to consume. If investing is important, you’ll need money to do it. So what are you not going to buy so you have the money to invest? Investing also takes discipline. Go screaming from the investment world at exactly the wrong time and you’ll make paper losses into real losses. Fail to set your sell-point and greed may take over where common sense should rule. Want to know if you’ve got the discipline to be an investor? If you’re not living on a budget you’re not ready.

3. You understanding what you’re thinking of buying. There’s an investment option for every kind of investor, but you must know what you’re buying before you buy. Would you buy a car without knowing how to drive? So why would you buy an investment without knowing how that investment makes money, or how it can lose money? If I had a nickel for every time someone told me they’d bought a “mutual fund” but couldn’t tell me what was in that mutual fund I’d be able to buy myself a bank! Knowing what you’re buying is step one in making good buying decisions. If you can’t explain it to a twelve-year-old, you don’t know it well enough to buy it.

4. You match your investment and your time horizon. Short-term money – money you’ll need in less than 5 years – needs to stay liquid since you don’t have enough time to wait for markets to recover should they dipsidoodle about. Long-term investing means being prepared to leave the money invested for more than a decade. Should markets take a turn, you have the time to ride out the ups and downs. Choosing an investment that matches your investment time horizon is important. And adjusting your investments as your time horizon changes is too. Kids going off to university in five years? Have you changed the investment mix in their RESPs to reflect a shorter time horizon?

5. You understand that all investing has risk and that the greater the potential return, the higher the risk you’ll be taking. If you aren’t comfortable taking risk – if the idea of watching 30% of your investment portfolio evaporate overnight makes you crazy – then you need to choose investments that will let you sleep at night. No, you won’t have the spectacular returns of those who fear nothing and take a leap into speculative investments. But you won’t have the losses either. If you’ve got the stomach – and the money – to go big or go home, the world of investing is huge and you’re limited only by your knowledge. If you’re a more conservative investor, don’t apologize or feel embarrassed for being a chicken. Stay true to your risk profile and you’ll be happy watching your eggs pile up slowly.

Want a great way to dip your toes into the world of investing without taking any risk so you can learn without any pain? Build a practice portfolio and watch what the investments do and how you react. Choose 10 investments you’d consider buying and track how they perform. Watch what happens and how you feel about the changes as your practice portfolio fluctuates in value. When you’re comfortable, you can put some money into the mix.

If the whole investment thang just seems too overwhelming to even bother, don’t give up. You can buy investments that reflect what the market as a whole, or particular sectors of the market, are doing.  Do some research on index mutual funds or exchange-traded funds (ETFs).  The idea is to eliminate having to make individual investment choices by mirroring what’s happening overall.

Some people see the stock market as a game. Some people see it as gambling. It’s neither. Nor is it for everyone. You’ll know you’re ready to be an investor when you’ve got a solid financial foundation (no debt, an emergency fund, a spending plan) and you understand the options you’re considering well enough to feel completely comfortable buying them. Even a twinge of doubt means you’re not yet ready.

 

Enough is Enough

What do you think about when you hear the word “enough?” Minimalists want consumers to think about whether they have enough stuff. Economists want workers to think about whether they’ll have enough for retirement. Dieticians want eaters to think about if they’re getting enough nutrients. Parents (and bosses) want kids (and workers) to think about if they’re putting in enough effort. Investment advisors want investors to think about if they’re getting enough return.

So how much is “enough?” You would think with the amount of focus placed on it, we’d have an answer. Is 2% enough return? How about 6%? 12%? Who decides? And when do you move from “enough” to “greedy?” Should you eat more than five fruits and veggies a day, or is that just enough? How about the vegetarians who eat more than five servings? And what happens if you abhor fruit?

In a world where there is plenty — like the world so many of us live in — figuring out “enough” can be tough. I remember getting a letter from a woman in her seventies who had a crap-load of money and was bemoaning the pathetic interest rates currently available. She wanted to know if she should “give those mutual funds a try.” I wrote back and asked, “How rich do you want to be when you die?”

Sometimes our sense of enough is skewed by the abundance we see around us. If my next-door neighbour, my best friend, and my sister all have newly renovated kitchens with sparkling appliances, fresh cupboards and granite counter-tops, can my twenty-year-old (perfectly functional) kitchen be enough?

I remember going into my cousin’s closet, oh, three decades ago, back when Candies were a shoe. She had every frickin’ colour of Candies! There must have been 30 pairs. They weren’t expensive shoes but just how many pairs would have been “enough?”

I’m a tea drinker, and sometimes it seems that the honey nut must have done a tango with the green tea because I have so many versions of nutty green tea it makes it hard to decide what to choose. The first time I get that feeling of “too much,” I put a moratorium on shopping until I’ve used up a specific percentage of my “stock.” When I left TV I said no new clothes until I’d worn out 30% of my wearables. I ended up giving away a large percentage because so many of those TV outfits didn’t suit my personal style. But I didn’t count those giveaways.

We have freezers and cupboards full of food, closets full of clothes and shoes, cupboards full of dishes and glasses, pots and pans, knives and forks. How can we not know we have enough?

The thing most people would agree they are short on is time. If only I had more time. I just don’t have time! Boy, if I had time…

What would you do with more time? Read more books, listen to music, garden, knit, cook, think? If I could wave a magic wand and give you eight more hours in your week just for you, what would you do with them?

You can give yourself that time.

Think of all the time you give over to making money to buy stuff that’s extraneous to your needs. Even to your wants. You can’t complain about not enough time if you willingly chose to swap it form MORE STUFF.

When will you have enough stuff? How will you make sure you have enough time?

If you’re thinking, “Well Gail, I need to make enough money now so I can afford to retire. I’ll have plenty of time then,” ask yourself this: How much of what I am making goes to taking care of my future self and how much goes to rewarding my present self for working by shopping? (You work hard, you deserve…)

The woman who wrote me had enough money. One of the reasons she felt the need to try and make more was because all her friends had been talked into mutual funds and she felt she might be missing out on something.

When I asked my blunt question, she wrote back, “Ha Ha, I take your point. Thanks. It’s a relief.”

Knowing you have enough — of anything — is a relief. But you have to keep that sense of relief front and centre in your mind for when the Gimmies come to get you. They will. You’ll be watching some decor-porn on television, flipping though some magazine, listening to someone talk about their new whatever, and the Gimmies will try to reach into your brain and say, “There must be more.”

You can choose to say right back, “No thanks, I have enough.”

 

This & That: Practical Solutions Edition

M & D Wrote: 7 years ago my husband & I were newlyweds with about $65,000 in debt. The majority of it being student loans. We decided to consolidate our debts into 1 monthly payment. On this orderly payment of debt program we were not allowed to have credit cards or loans of any kind. It changed our credit score dramatically to the point that the banks, electricity bill companies & even cell phone providers saw us as being in bankruptcy. Today we sent in our very last payment!! Our question is what is the best way to rebuild our credit now that we’re debt free? We haven’t had credit cards in 7 years & have gotten used to & enjoy paying all in cash. However, now we’re at a point where we would like to buy our first home. Any suggestions would be helpful.

Gail Says: A credit card is a great way to build your credit history. You use it (instead of cash or debit) and pay it off in full to demonstrate your ability to manage credit. Over time your credit history gets stronger. Another good way to rebuild a credit history is to use a loan for an RSP contribution. Let’s say you decided to save $2400 to make an RSP contribution, you would go to the bank and ask for a loan for that $2,400 and then use your cash saved to pay off the loan after about 90 days. For about $50 in interest you’d be “buying” a credit history. A couple of different sources of credit are needed to re-build your credit history/score.

 

A Wrote: My fiancé and I will be getting married next spring, and we’re working on how best to manage our finances as a married couple. One sticking point has come up, and I’d like your advice. I have had a credit card for many years, and have used it regularly but always pay off the full balance every month. This has resulted in an excellent credit score which I’m quite proud of. My fiancé has been advised to use his credit card and always carry a balance month to month, never fully paying it off, in order to improve his credit score. What concerns me is that he was given this advice by a financial advisor associated with the bank at which his credit card is held. Which is the way to go in building credit? Is carrying a balance beneficial to the process?

Gail Says: One should never do something dumb to get a result. Carrying a balance means you’re paying interest (dumb). Yes, it may give you more credit score points but it is still dumb. And it was self-serving of the banker to suggest this to your mate. The difference (if you’re doing everything else right) is negligible. Please, pay off the credit card and stop helping the bank by hurting yourself.

 

J Wrote: We both have RRSP contributions that are matched by our work but we just put them in medium risk. (Not knowing where to put them this was recommended.) We get our statements and watch it grow but not sure if we are putting enough away for retirement. We have 2 girls (5 and 11) and we put money into a RESP every month as well. We have a savings account for emergencies, vacations, etc.

Do you recommend using a financial planner? How do we know how much to save and they best way to get a good return on our investment. We have not opened TFSA yet. I don’t really understand how they work. Can you help us as we are not in debt but need help planning for the future?

Gail Says: Okay, so you’re saving but you’re not sure you’re saving enough or how to make those savings work as hard for you as you want them to. I’m going to suggest you go get a copy of “Never Too Late,” which is my book on this topic. It should be at your library. While you’re there pick up a copy of “Saving for School” which will explain the ins and outs of RESP’s in detail.

How much you need to save depends on a) how much you’ve already saved, b) how much you want to have, c) your rate of return. Typically we say things like “save 10%.” The end game should be to have about 11x your income socked away by the time you’re in your 60s. I go over all of this in great detail in the book.

 

C Wrote: If we buy a home for $200,000, we have $110,000 saved, $67,000 of that money is in RRSP’s. We are first time home owners. What is the best route to go, as I’m not sure what to do?

Gail Says: Under the RSP Home Buyers’ Plan you can each withdraw up to $25,000 from your RRSP, and that amount must be repaid (interest free) over 15 years or the money not repaid is included in your income in the year it should have gone back into the plan. So that’s $50K. You have another $43K saved, giving you $93,000 to work with. You should set aside money for the closing costs (land transfer tax, legal fees, pre-paid property taxes, etc.) and for whatever you think you may have to buy (window coverings, appliances) when you first move in. If you put $40,000 down on the house that’s 20% and will take you out of mortgage insurance (CMHC) territory. If it were my money I’d put the $50K from the RRSPs down, pay the closing costs out of the $43K and keep the rest as an emergency fund.

 

G Wrote: Regarding withdrawals from a RRSP. The amount of tax withheld is based on the amount withdrawn. Up to $5,000. 10%, $5,001 – $15,000. 20% Over $15,000, 30%. Some authors and some financial advisers say to save tax you have to do the following, cash $5,000 this week you pay only 10% after two weeks cash another $5,000 you pay 10% within the same year instead of cashing at once $10,000 you pay 20%. This is not true. I did that procedure and the bank told me for the second withdrawal I would be charged 20% tax not 10%. I wonder where this information is researched because it was incorrect?

Gail Says: Each withdrawal of $5k or less should have withholding tax of only 10% withheld, but perhaps different banks have different timeframes for resetting the withdrawal limit: since you made 2 within the same month they treated it as one. The important thing to note is that the withholding tax may not be all the tax you will owe. That will be determined by your income for the year so be careful about not having enough set aside to pay the taxes that will come due.

 

P Wrote: My husband and I have a differing view about liquidity of funds. We have no outstanding debts aside from $2-300 on a single, joint credit card. My husband has been aggressively putting funds into our savings accounts in order to pay off our final student debts (which he did earlier than we had planned, and wiped out a bunch of savings in doing so, against my wishes). We have continued to put away large sums every week into our savings to replace what was spent and to build up a down payment. However, this is at the cost of our main joint checking account – we used to keep a balance of $3500 after the rent, and today, before the rent, it’s at $1500. Every time I say I’m uncomfortable with the lack of liquidity we have (any transfers from savings to checking have a 24 hour mandatory delay), he argues that we have the same total balance among the accounts, and if a big emergency comes up, we will have time to move the funds to make payment, as our debit cards only allow a $500 withdrawal per card anyways. What is your opinion on the level of liquid funds a household (apartment, no kids, 1 car) should have access to on am immediate basis?

Gail Says: This is a purely personal matter, but I’m concerned that your mate isn’t really taking your needs into account before doing things. From a strictly black and white point of view, if you’re earning 1.3% on your money, and you moved $2,000 to your checking account, you’d be losing out on $26 a year in interest. Is your peace of mind worth $26. A couple of other things:

You know you can increase the debit card limit, right?

You should NOT have a joint CC. You should each have your own credit card so that you are both building a credit history. In all likelihood, the credit history on the joint card is only being reported on one person’s name so someone isn’t building a credit history.

 

S Wrote: If I do not find employment fast should I withdrawal from my RRSP since I would be in the lowest tax bracket if I have the EI for the full 46 weeks? I usually make $52K gross. My RRSP is approx $467,000. Or am I ruining my retirement by doing this. I was thinking of a withdrawal between $5-$8k. Can you please send me advice? Love all your shows and advice you give – super woman.

Gail Says: Yes, if you’re going to be in the lowest tax bracket, taking money from your RSP shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Just know that you’ll end up paying more than the 10-15% the bank will withhold, so be prepared to set aside money to cover the rest of the taxes you will owe, k?