Gail Vaz-Oxlade's Blog, page 14

Poetry: Margaret Gibson

A friend of mine on FB posted this poem by Margaret Gibson and it sent me off to find more and more. Her poetry is autobiographical and sublime. Here is:

 

“Solitudes”

For today, I will memorize

the two trees now in end-of-summer light

and the drifts of wood asters as the yard

slopes away toward the black pond, blue

dragonflies

in the clouds that shine and float there, as if risen

from the bottom, unbidden. Now, just over the fern—

quick—a glimpse of it,

the plume, a fox-tail’s copper,

as the dog runs in ovals and eights,

chasing scent.

The yard is a waiting room. I have my chair. You, yours.

The hawk has its branch in the pine.

White petals ripple in the quiet light.

 

Margaret Gibson was born in 1944 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and grew up in Richmond, Virginia. She is the author of nine books of poetry and one prose memoir. She has been awarded two Pushcart Prizes and the James Boatright Poetry Prize. She is Professor Emerita, University of Connecticut.

 

Summer Birds and Flowers

Unrolling?the coiled scroll

enacts the momentary

sweeping down the midday sky?of small birds

on a draft from the distant ?blue ravines

and mountain ridges

into the windy clearing?of summer’s

middle distance, so luminous?and near

it’s easy to ignore

given the distraction?of hollyhocks

and the stalks of amber iris?that steeply

lean into the emptiness

that borders ?the tended garden path

Any fear of what imperils?and impends

is thereby tempered—

the tidal and jagged line?of the far mountains

merely an artful?mapping of the birds’

arc of flight

And such a glimmer of gaiety?as they dip and swoop

with unguarded ease?into the inseparable

immensity

my heart stops now ?as I think of it

 

Gibson herself has said, “Writing poetry is an act of attention and receptivity.  You study whatever it is that strikes your attention. Everything is ultimately connected; everything, therefore, is both personal and impersonal. We’re part of an enormous, sometimes painful, sometimes joyful experience of unfolding Consciousness.”

 

Autumn Grasses

In fields of bush clover and hay-scent grass

the autumn moon takes refuge

The cricket’s song is gold

Zeshin’s loneliness taught him this

Who is coming?

What will come to pass, and pass?

Neither bruise nor sweetness nor cool air

not-knowing

knows the way

And the moon?

Who among us does not wander, and flare

and bow to the ground?

Who does not savor, and stand open

if only in secret

taking heart in the ripening of the moon?

 

 

Jet Lag

I hate jet lag. It’s one of the things I truly dislike about travelling. I love to see new places and experience new things, but that extreme tiredness that comes after crossing several time zones makes me yearn for the day they can just beam me across space.

Jet lag – also referred to as time zone change syndrome or desynchronosis – happens when a body’s circadian rhythms are disrupted. Your circadian rhythm is the 24-hour cycle your body operates through – or your body clock. When you move across time zones, eat at a different time, sleep at a different time, you screw up that clock.

Typical symptoms of jetlag include headaches, insomnia, loss of appetite, confusion, and even diarrhea or constipation. And, of course, the irritability and fatigue that comes from having to deal with all that.

There is hope. Scientists have created a pill that will reset your body clock and end the sleepless misery of frequent fliers, millions of nightshift workers, and chronic insomniacs.

So when researchers created a pill designed to synchronize blood cells in the body to effectively fool the body into thinking day is night, you betcha that caught some buzz.

And do you know where these clever little pills were devised? Right here in Canada by scientists McGill University and the Douglas Mental Health University.

Sixteen healthy volunteers were put into isolation chambers to have their circadian rhythms disrupted. Studies show that desynchronised circadian clocks disrupt sleep, performance and cardiac performance in night-shift workers. And according to Dr. Nicolas Cermakian, co-author of the report, “Animal studies have shown that our central clock (in the brain) sends signals to the clocks in our other organs.”

So how do these little pills work? Well it seems that our white blood cells have biological clocks controlled by a switch deep within the brain. They are synchronized to control the body’s reaction to day and night. The tablets, which contain c the steroid-based compound glucocorticoid, can reset those settings.

The pills aren’t ready for general consumption just yet. But if you’ve been suffering with disrupted sleep patterns because of your travel schedule or your night shift, hey, there’s hope just around the corner.

Parenting on a Budget

Kids are expensive. Never mind what some people are prepared to spend to get them here, getting them to “independent” can cost a small fortune. You may need a bigger car. You may need a bigger home. And then there are all the costs of keeping your mini-me fed and clothed: dental bills, school supplies, hockey, ballet, soccer, karate… the list can seem endless.

The first year of a child’s life is often pretty expensive. Not surprising really when you think of all the gear we have to get to bring baby home. And the cost of diapers!

It’s also comes as no surprise that costs go up when kids hit their teenaged years. So how do you get your kids to self-sufficiency without going broke? You make a budget!

While many of the hard costs of kids – food, the roof over their heads, their transportation – naturally fall into your budget, there are costs that are uniquely associated with the children themselves. One kid is happy to live in jeans and T-shirts, while another won’t wear anything but American Eagle. If Junior is a sports maniac there are league fees, equipment costs, and transportation costs for getting them to the next game. Never mind all the eating out the family seems to do on the road.

The trick to not letting kids’ expenses get way out of hand is to allocate a specific amount to each child’s activities and needs, and stick with the plan. Start by listing all the things your children do for which you must lay out some of your hard-earned bucks.

Your children’s needs won’t be the same, and spending equally on them won’t be more “fair.” Giving them what they need when they need it is the goal. Over time, as the children’s needs shift, so too should how you allocate the money. And over time, it should all come out even. So if in the early years one child gobbles up far more resources, then in the later years the other might receive more help with post-secondary education.

Some parents struggle with meeting their kids’ needs while staying afloat financially. If you’re a single parent or your family is living on one income make darn sure you’re claiming the eligible dependent amount on your tax return.

There are lots of other expenses that may be claimed on your tax return to mitigate your costs. Paying for a babysitter? Sending your kid to camp? Claim child-care expenses on the lower net income to get the biggest benefit. Get and keep your receipts to make your claim stick if it’s challenged. And don’t forget about the child fitness amount of up to $500 per year per child 16 and under for everything from soccer to gymnastics. The activity has to be ongoing for a minimum of eight weeks or a camp that is a minimum of five consecutive days.

Your kids’ budget should include a regular amount set aside for educational savings. If you start early, you don’t have to set aside a lot, and each dollar you put into an RESP can help your child earn up to $500 a year in FREE grant money.

Don’t make enough money to save for school? If you receive the National Child Benefit Supplement, and Kiddo was born in 2004 or later, you can get up to $2,000 in free money. Get a Social Insurance Number for your kid, open up an RESP and apply for the Canada Learning Bond. You’ll get $500 in the first year and up to $1,500 more by the time Kiddo turns 15. When shopping for an RESP, make sure you stick with an individual or family plan offered by most financial institutions. Steer clear of the group plans or “scholarship trusts”, which have come under fire for being both expensive and inflexible.

Kids are expensive, no question. We sacrificed fancy furniture and vacations in the early years. And my entertainment was sitting and watching my kids as they learned about the world.  Those were some of my happiest years. We had a ball. I shopped garage sales and second-hand stores, shared what I had with friends, and chose one activity at a time for my kids so they weren’t overwhelmed and I didn’t go broke.

It’s all about the choices we make and about figuring out what’s most important so we can prioritize those choices. Kids don’t arrive in designer labels, and they don’t much care about stuff until someone teaches them to be concerned about what other people think. Dodge that bullet and you can save yourself a fortune!

Are You Living a Worthwhile Life?

So many people want to live a life that they can’t afford. Having grown up with privileges you can no longer afford, do you actually perceive privileges as needs? Are you really willing to sacrifice your peace of mind to keep doing what you’ve always done? Having watched friends (or entertainment personalities) sporting this fine something or ‘nother, do you feel equally entitled?

I’m going to tell you what you need to hear: It’s a false life. Desperately attempting to be something or to have something that you cannot, in fact, afford is not a real life. You won’t be able to sustain it. And in the end you’ll not only hurt, you’ll be broke to boot.

I’ve blathered on about money for a long, long, long time — more than half my life. I sometimes become a little sad that there are still people who seem oblivious to all my pleas to get real and live within their means. Seriously, if you can’t afford to pay for that whatever-it-is with money you have already earned, why do you think that whatever-it-is should be yours?

If it’s such common sense to only spend what you have, why do so many people spend money they don’t have – using credit – to buy things they want but don’t NEED? Think about it for a minute. Why did you whip out your credit card and pay for that meal in a restaurant, pair of new shoes, or cell phone when you knew you were carrying a balance on the card? Why did you buy that big screen TV or snazzy new couch on a buy-now-pay-later program? Why did you use your line of credit to pay off your credit card? Be honest. Why?

It is as if people are afraid to just be. They have to drive the right car, renovate their kitchens, consume store-bought coffee every day, and have the latest electronic device as soon as it comes to market to be living a good life. Why are you willing to exchange hours, days, months, years of peace of mind for the momentary high that comes with the new acquisition and the occasional look of envy.

Want to gain some perspective?  Find some time today to sit quietly and think about what it is you really want in life.

Happiest are the people who are living a worthwhile life: A life that brings challenge and love, that allows you to share, to laugh, and to be happy.

Are you doing the things that make life worthwhile? Or have you filled your life with up a sense of “must have” and “entitled?” Think about the last thing you acquired and how quickly the shine went off your new toy only to be replaced by a rabid desire to acquire anew.

It’s your life so you get to do whatever you want with it. What will you do with your life today?

 

This & That: Jeeze Lousie Edition

L Wrote: I am 3 years away from wanting to retire and my financial planner has me invested solely in mutual funds. This makes me very nervous both in part because I do not understand this way of investing and because of having to deal with the markets. She says that I am in the best place to be. What do you think?

Also I am living in geared to income housing and must not cross over a yearly total income threshold. This is happening however due to the investments and I live in fear constantly of losing my current home. She says that she cannot control the markets and their performance, thus exonerating herself. I just don’t know what to do. I work part-time and need income but investing seems to be ruining both my health and financial well-being.

Gail Says: It’s rude for your planner to ignore your concerns and keep you invested in something that is not working to your purposes. This is a prime example of planners doing what their companies want, not what their clients want. But you have some responsibility in this too. It. Is. Your. Money. You get to decide what happens with it and your planner MUST follow your instructions. If you want to reduce your exposure to a) too much income and b) risks associated with being in the market, then you’ll have to decide how much of your portfolio you will sell and put into more conservative investments. As for living in a geared to income housing, your mutual funds’ return would not affect that unless there were income distributions (as in dividends) that were paid out to you (instead of being reinvested which they usually are.)

Your advisor isn’t exonerating herself… she speaks the truth. She has no control over the markets and their performance whether they go UP or DOWN. But if being in the markets is hurting you — as you say, “ruining both my health and financial well-being” — then you need to make it clear to her that you want to change things. And if she won’t listen, you need to find another advisor who will.

Be very careful as you sell those investments. It is the selling that will trigger the “gains” that will affect your income threshold. You must get very good, clearly calculated advice as you do this to no impact on your housing issue.

 

R Wrote: We have accumulated approximately $100 000.00 debt outside of our $270 000.00 mortgage. We are maxed out with our bank, our Line of Credit and credit cards are well over their limits and we have been struggling for a number of years to keep our heads above water to make minimum payments which we know will not get us ahead but it’s all we can manage. We have sold the majority of our household items to get by. Luckily enough we do not have vehicle payments however carpooling is not an option for us. We are over 40, earn a combined income of $100 000.00 annually and I do not have a pension and no longer have anything set aside for retirement.

I have looked at the numbers and we would have about $50 000 remaining if we were to sell our home and pay off our entire debt. I have suggested this option to my wife indicating that the family would have to rent for a year to be able to save enough to purchase another home however my wife does not want to sell the house.

Gail Says: Sadly I receive several letters like yours every week: people who have been given too much credit and can now only meet the minimum payments. This is one of the reasons why I warn so loudly about the dangers of lines of credit and credit cards. You should be able to have a good life making $100K a year. But if you now have so much debt — for stuff you thought you should have that you couldn’t pay for — that your income is being gobbled by interest costs, it’s a hard pill to swallow.

You’re going to have to do the math and show it to your mate since you can do as you suggest or just wait for your ship to sink completely, at which point instead of having $50K to start off with, you’ll have nothing. This likely means making a budget and showing her where every penny goes, creating a debt repayment plan to show how much you’re spending in interest every month, and the house-sale numbers to show what you will actually end up with (don’t forget the costs of selling!)

Then show her the new budget living in a rental, and how much you will save every month towards a new home. Remind her that if the home is not paid off and you have no money set aside for retirement, you’ll likely have to sell then anyway, and it might be a down time in the market affecting what you end up taking out of the transaction.

 

D Wrote: Both of our parents were admitted to a care home for advanced Alzheimer’s. While sorting out our parent’s finances we came across a loan agreement of $100, 000 to one of our sisters and another $96, 000 to the youngest sister. My parents wanted the five kids to divide evenly the proceeds of their house sale which was approximately $625, 000.

Both sisters refuse to acknowledge their outstanding loans.
How do we divide these funds to have our parent’s wish of equality settled?

Gail Says: If your sisters signed the documents, they can stick their heads as far into the sand as they wish, but you’ve got a document that says what’s what. Unless, they can demonstrate repayment (cancelled cheques that total the loan amounts) too bad. If there are no signatures, the loan agreements won’t stand up in court if that’s where you end up.

If you sell the house and clear $625K and divide that by 5 it works out to $125K each. Take off the $100K to sister #1 and give her $25K. Take of $96,000 to sister #2 and give her $29,000. Pool the $100,000 and $96,000 and divide by 3, so the remaining sibs would each get $125K + $65,333 for a total of $190,333.

 

T Wrote: I am at a cross roads. I am 39 years old, live in a condo and my mortgage renewal is fast approaching. I also have a line of credit that is approx. $20 000. I am not incurring any debt now but am struggling to pay this one off. I was referred to a mortgage broker who then put me onto a financial advisor who is her partner in a small company they have started. This advisor came up with good plan in terms of monthly budget however is beginning to advise me on something which I have no knowledge of. I have equity in my condo and my condo is now worth much more. I do not have very much saved for retirement, just a small amount in my RRSP. She is advising me to take out a large chunk, if not my maximum amount and use this to buy life insurance to use as a tax shelter and as an investment vehicle which would generate its own income. I would take out the maximum from my mortgage and use it towards this life insurance for its investment advantages, thereby taking out a much larger mortgage than I had before. This would presumably give me more money to live on, allow me to save for my future and more recent future goals easier.

I need to speak with a financial advisor but I’m having a hard time finding one as I don’t make very much. I am just not sure if this is a good idea. I work for a not-for-profit and my income is modest as well.

Gail Says:   I cannot for the life of me see how borrowing more money at this point is a good idea. I don’t care what you’re putting it into. And if you don’t understand the investment you’re making… and I don’t think you do… how can you be sure you aren’t being fleeced? Why wouldn’t you simply add the $20K in debt to your mortgage at renewal time to give yourself that breathing room you’re looking for? Since you’re living within your means and you have equity that would be the simplest answer, no?

 

S Wrote: I am in my late 20’s. I am seeking your advice on paying my student loan vs saving for down payment. Currently, I have a student loan of $15k at prime +1%, no consumer debt. I have savings of 15k in RRSP and 53K in TSFA. Should I pay off my student loan or use the low interest rate to build down payment and use the tax credit.

Gail Says: These are the kinds of questions I get when people don’t want to do the math for themselves. I want you to do the work because it makes the decision more real, and you have full ownership of it. First calculate (or use the calculator at the student loan website) how much interest you’ll pay on your student loan. Second calculate what the tax credit is actually worth to you. Now you have your answer. So clear, right?

 

M Wrote: I’m drowning. I’m continually lying to my husband about bills I’ve “paid” I’m always making payment arrangements with bills. Utilities, taxes, mortgage etc. it’s gotten so bad that I’ve lost track of what’s owed. I’m so far in debt I can’t sleep, eat or even have a normal day. I have collections call me. I’ve been taken to small claims a few times now. I have no idea what to do or where to begin. I feel helpless. I feel lost in my own head. It’s ridiculous. I owe a lot of money and I keep it hidden from my husband, which I hate more than anything. I hate lying to him and hiding things. He works very hard everyday, he even got approved in December for a credit card of $10,000 and I’ve already managed to go into debt with it by $12,000. I’m lost. I find my self searching day after day for ways to get money to get out of debt and not tell him. I post ads on Kijiji for lenders. The worst part is that I spend money on absolutely nothing. I don’t even have a habit to supply. It’s like money evaporates right out of my hands.

Gail Says: While people tell me they’re in debt but spending money on nothing, that’s just part of their delusion. Clearly if you’re spending money you’re spending it on something. Maybe not something worthy of the hard work you expended earning the money, but something. And with all the debt you have, clearly a large portion of what you’re spending is going to interest — the rent you pay for using someone else’s money. So if you’re serious about fixing the problem, your first job will be to figure out where your money is going by doing a six month spending analysis. You’ll also have to make a debt repayment plan and calculate what you’re currently spending in interest.

As for keeping this from your husband, are you afraid that if he finds out he’ll kick you to the curb? Because this kind of secret can’t be kept forever. You had best figure out a plan and do whatever it takes to fix this mess — get another job or three. At the very least when he finds out (accidentally or on purpose) you best have a solid plan in pal to show him you’re serious about fixing what you broke.

Coconut Lemongrass Noodle Soup

Lemongrass is a main ingredient in Asian cooking and I love it. The stalks are somewhat woody so you have to smash them or slice through them to allow the lemony flavour to seep into whatever you’re cooking. I don’t often see lemon grass in my neck of the woods so when I do I buy it and build a recipe around it, like the one below. You can keep it in the fridge for a couple of weeks if you wrap it up so it doesn’t dry out. Use it in stews and curries, fishing it out before you serve.

When I created this pot of soup I was suffering from a wicked cold and my body just ached for the lemongrass and ginger. Lemongrass is widely used to alleviate sore throats and laryngitis. It’s also purported to help with pain, alleviating spasms by relaxing muscles. And it’s an anti fungal and anti bacterial. It’s also chock a block full of vitamins including A, most of the Bs, and vitamin C. It’s also full of minerals like potassium, magnesium, phosphorous, zinc and copper. Studies have also shown that consuming lemongrass regularly reduces LDL cholesterol levels. If you have trouble sleeping, try a little lemongrass tea, which may help increase the duration and quality of your sleep.

 

Gail’s Coconut Lemongrass Noodle Soup

1 tbs coconut oil
6 cups chicken stock*
2 tbs fish sauce
4 large shallots, chopped fine
2 cups carrots, chopped fine
2 stalks lemongrass
½ cup fresh chopped ginger
1 heaping tbs Malasian curry
2 tbs salt
1 can coconut milk (400-425 ml)
1 lemon, juiced
1 can water chestnuts
2 cups broccoli
2 cups bok choy or napa cabbage
Chinese egg noodles
1 cup chopped cilantro

*I make my own stock and it is salt-free so if you use salted stock, adjust the salt in the recipe

Put the chicken stock to a large pot, add the fish sauce and bring to a gentle simmer.
Put 1 tsp of coconut oil in a frying pan over medium heat. Add shallots and cook very lightly (about 3 minutes). Add them to the soup pot, along with the carrots and ginger.
 Time to add the lemongrass. Slice off the very bottom of the stalk, peel off dried-out layers, smash or slice the stalk to release the aromatic oils. Add to the pot and cover.
In the same frying pan you used for the shallots, add remaining coconut oil and warm over a low heat. Add curry, being careful not to burn the curry. The heat opens up the flavours so you want to heat the curry but not so much that it burns. Add 1 tsp salt. When the curry is ready (about 30-45 seconds) add a little coconut milk and stir. Then put it all in the soup pot being careful to scrape in all the goodness.

 

Add remaining coconut milk to the soup. Stir.
Add the lemon juice and the water chestnuts and cook on a gentle boil for about an hour. Add remaining salt to taste. (At this point, you can freeze the soup, adding the remaining ingredients when you reheat.)
 Add broccoli, bok choy or napa cabbage, egg noodles and 2/3s of the cilantro.
If you want to add bits of chicken thigh (cut into 1 inch pieces) or shrimp to this recipe for variety, this is when you do it.


When the noodles and meat/shrimp are cooked through and the veggies are just becoming tender, sprinkle the remaining cilantro and serve.

Chewing Gum

When you fly, do your ears pop? Do they hurt? I hate when I’m flying and I hear the cries of all those babies whom I know are in agony. I feel their pain. Sometimes chewing gum helps. Most times not. But I chew anyway.

Chewing gum in various forms has been around since days of yore. Ancient Greeks chewed sap from the mastic tree, while Mayans favored the sap of the sapodilla tree. Native Americans chewed spruce sap, which is where European settlers learned all about chomping relentlessly.

I didn’t grow up chewing gum. I went to a very strict Catholic school, which wouldn’t tolerate gum chewing at all. And the odd bubblegum indulgence was tolerated at home, but my mother referred to people chewing gum as cows chewing their cud. Hey, not really a positive message there. Yet after all these years of disdain for those who chew methodically, new evidence suggests that chewing gum will actually improve your concentration.

A study published in the British Journal of Psychology reports that when chewing gym people complete memory exercises more quickly and accurately. And the longer the laborious task, the more people benefitted. Apparently, masticating improves the blood flow to your brain with up to 8 areas of your brain being affected, and can increase your alertness by 10%.

Psychologists also believe that rhythmic motion of gum chewing can reduce tension and release nervous energy. I could have used some of that when I was writing my exams at school. I was a wreck, and if all it would have taken was a piece or two of gum, I say, bring it on.

Add this to the fact that chewing sugarless gum can help keep your teeth healthier and the gum industry is doing their advertising all wrong! It’s not double your pleasure; it’s double the benefits for you both mentally and physically. It seems the act of chewing gum increases the flow of saliva which washes away food debris and neutralizes acids I the mouth. Just 20 minutes of grinding on gum can help prevent tooth decay.

Of course you can take any good thing too far, and so it is with gum chewing. If you have a problem with pain in your jaw, you might have a TMJ disorder. Your temporomandibular joint, just in front of your ear, is where your bottom jaw connects to your skull. Overuse of any muscle can lead to problems, so don’t irritate this problem with non-stop gum chewing.

The Bottomless Cookie Jar

People stop me on the street, in the mall, at the supermarket to ask me if the people who appeared on my TV shows were real and, by the way, how could they ever get themselves into so much debt.

It’s easier than most people think.

A credit card is kind of like a bottomless cookie jar. With easy access to credit, there’s no reason to wonder when the treats will run out, and you are never disappointed. Want a new outfit? Just stick it on a credit card. Want to have dinner with a bunch of friends? Ka-chunk, ka-chunk. Desperately in need of a sunny vacation to beat the winter blues? There’s room on the card and that’s just what it’s for, right?

When credit became a commodity and lenders started hiking limits and offering incentives to take on more cards, people started behaving like greedy children, gobbling cookies without a thought to the tummy ache that would eventually follow. Now Canadians think nothing of spending more than they make every year. Hey there grown-ups, before you think to chastise a child for anything, think about your own lack of self-control!

Equifax Canada is predicting that our consumer debt levels will hit $1.4 trillion in 2014. Here’s why:

People are paying only the minimum required on their credit cards. Those tiny payments are easy to work into their cash flow and, since people are loathe to add up what they actually owe, make people feel their debt is manageable. Ditto the debt on their lines of credit.
We simply don’t understand or won’t accept the fact that all that consumer debt is “callable.” That means, at the bank’s whim, you can be asked to repay what you owe in it’s totality and if you can’t you’ll be sent to collections tout de suite. When my girlfriend, Victoria, and I talk about this we scratch our heads. A stockbroker back in the day, Victoria tries her best to enlighten her friends and acquaintances. In response they say things like, “Oh, the bank would never do that.” Yah, they would.
Folks won’t live within their means. All that keep up is going to end up costing a lot of folks their financial security – something far more important that snappy shoes or the latest electronic toy. For the people who would rather have granite countertops than a six-month emergency fund, it is only a matter of time before all that debt catches up with them.
Our net worth has grown and we keep being told that all the debt we have is okay because, hey, look at how much we have in assets. Here’s the problem with this argument. Let the stock market change direction or let the real estate market see a correction and you’ll watch your net worth plummet. The debt? Well, it’s here to stay. As solid as concrete tied around your neck, that debt is going no where unless you’re prepared to declare bankruptcy. And even then, you’ll live a very frugal life for the time it takes to get back to even.

How did we get so much credit? All you needed was a nice, shiny credit score and you could have all the credit you wanted. Do you know that people who make only the minimum payment on their credit cards have a better credit score than those who pay off their balances in full every month? Why? Because they’re more profitable customers, so they score higher. Do you want to be some company’s dream customer, paying gobs of interest and twisting in the wind when the company decides to change the rules of the game? Or do you want to be in charge of your money and your life?

Focusing on your credit score is a trick, a distraction from the real issue: You have to learn to live within your means. Credit cards only serve YOU when YOU have the power. Give the power to the creditor and you’re a puppet, jumping and twitching. So, do you want to be some credit card company’s puppet? Like the feeling of twitching when collectors call? No? Okay then, it’s time to retake control.

Being in charge means being out of debt. It means paying off your balance in full every single month. It means having only as much credit available as suits YOUR needs.

Living within your means isn’t as hard as some people think. Yes, you have to make choices. And yes, you may have to wait a while before you can take that vacation. But when you stop treating your cookie jar like it has no bottom and start living within your means, you’ll be in charge. Sometimes there are cookies, and sometimes not. And if there are no cookies for a while, that’s not the end of the world. You just have to get busy baking!

Past Me, Future Me

Have you ever noticed how it’s so easy to set a goal. You think to yourself, “Hey, I should…” and then you think to yourself, “That’s a good idea because…” When it comes to executing the goal — doing the steps it takes to get from where you are now to where you want to be — Present Me says, “I’ll just check my messages first,” or “I’m tired, so I’m not going to give it my best shot, better I wait until…” or “I really should do this other thing first, the goal is important but I HAVE to do this…”

Present Me loves to be satisfied right now. Sure, you planned to eat a healthy dinner, but when Present Me gets noshy at 3 p.m., that cinnamon bun is just too delish to pass up. Gobble, gobble, gobble. Then Past Me says, “You know we had a plan, right?” and Future Me sighs.

Recent research shows that when you are able to put yourself in the feet of Future Me, picturing what life will be like in all it’s glorious, gory detail, you have more of a chance of quashing Present Me’s constant demands for attention. If Present Me thinks she MUST have that new phone, asking Future Me’s opinion can help. “Sure, that phone is swell, girlio,” Future Me pipes up. “But we had such hopes of being able to travel and here we are with barely enough money to make ends meet.” Or in desperation, Future Me might say, “Are you a lunatic! You just got a phone a year ago; I’m pushing 68 and I still can’t retire!”

I’ve always been one to keep an eye firmly on the future. When I was younger I was obsessed with being secure. With a couple of marriages under my belt and my mother’s voice in my brain saying, “You can only count on yourself,” I was so future focused that it was ridiculous. But then my best friend died. We were only in our 40s. I watched her battle cancer, win, and then get overtaken by a brain tumour and the whole future thing seemed to dim. You could die at any time. The time was NOW.

Happily, decades of being in touch with Future Me stopped me from going completely off the rails. But the experience with my girlfriend tempered me. Yes, I needed to focused on the future, on keeping myself safe, but I also had to be enjoying my life in the NOW.

Past Me, Present Me, Future Me, all deserve to have what will keep us safe and make us happy. When Present Me hogs too much of the attention, of the resources (like our money), of our time (we don’t think about the future AT ALL), Future Me gets the short straw.

So the question today is this: Are you prepared to help Present Me see from Future Me’s perspective? Or will you let Past Me’s desperate attempts to set some goals get shunted aside?

 

This & That: Happy, Happy Edition

M Wrote: I would like to first say I am a huge fan of your show Prince$$ and from getting some of your tips for girls (such as myself) most in their early 20’s, I have successfully landed a fulltime job as a field support representative.

I am 20 years old and I am looking to make a long term plan to move out and pay off my debt and also take a vacation. I get paid $420 every week with tax reductions made. I have started putting $200 per week to pay off my $10,000 dollar student loan. Is this a good percentage to put towards my debt?

I also read your article in the Metro the other day about putting 6% towards your retirement. I plan on doing this after I pay off the $10,000.

How much should I save up before I get a bachelor apartment? What would a good realistic time line be for this process??

I look forward to hearing from you Gail. As you always say, “If you don’t have a time line, it’s a fantasy”. You are right.

Thank you for everything you have taught me. I used to be a very bad shopaholic but now that I’ve started budgeting I want to get an air miles credit card. What do you think?

Gail Says: I love, Love, LOVE getting letters like these. What a very smart girl you are to focus on getting that student debt gone. I’m very pleased to see your focus. You’ll be debt free in less than a year and can start life fully focused on what you want to achieve next. If you want to step off into independence with a solid footing, figure out not only how much your apartment will cost, but all the other costs associated with living on your own: transportation, internet, cell phone, and the like. Aim to have six months’ worth of those expenses tucked away. You’ll need to use some for first/last months’ rent, but can rebuild your emergency fund from there. Also make a list of the things you’ll need for your new place: at the very minimum a place to sleep, some pots and pans, maybe a chair and table, and your first big grocery shop so you can set up home. Have that saved too.

 

H Wrote: Can you recommend children’s books on financial literacy? Especially for very little kids – toddlers – to get them familiar with the concept of money?

Gail Says: What a great question. Here are some ideas for kids aged 4-8. Toddling is a bit young yet. Enjoy:

Jenny Found a Penny by Trudy Harris
Sheep in a Shop by Nancy Shaw
Benny’s Pennies by Pat Brisson
One Cent, Two Cents, Old Cent, New Cent by Bonnie Worth
A Chair for My Mother by Vera Williams
The Money We’ll Save by Brock Cole
Alexander, Who Used to Be Rich Last Sunday by Judith Viorst
My Rows and Piles of Coins by Tololwa Mollel

 

C Wrote: Firstly, thank you for all of your assistance to this point. I am a devoted blog follower and although my hubby is reluctant to read the blog he has been influenced by your messages because I’ve been instituting some of your rules and he’s come along and been awesome!!

That being said, we’re just in the last few months of our debt repayment plan. We will be debt free with the exception of our mortgage by May!! Yahoo!!! That means that in 3 years we’ve taken 18 months off the one car loan (8.5%), paid the other off on schedule (1.9%), paid off our credit card – $25K at 12.2% and managed to increase our mortgage payments to the point of taking another 6 years off our mortgage span. All the while still contributing to our Emergency Fund which is at about $8k right now and continuing to add to my RSPs and his pension plan.

In May we will be left with only our mortgage and our regular life bills. I have conquered some significant health issues which had me not well from 2011 to early 2014 and that had me face 2 major surgeries. For the last year my focus has been on getting myself into a physical condition that I am happy with (the bonus of this has been less time for frivolous spending). Since we will be able to live very well on my husband’s income we plan to save my income for the remainder of 2015 so I can take up to a year off of work and enjoy life and conquer some of my bucket list items before any more of my body parts need revamping.

My question is this: What sort of financial vehicle could we use to save these funds so that they are accessible during 2016 for items (travel, classes, equipment) that are outside the scope of our regular day to day items? If we portion a bit out of the ‘savings’ fund to do some home improvement ($5K) that should leave us with $32K to invest.

Personal stats for consideration: Both mid 40’s, currently each have about $120k towards retirement savings and building, home value of $620k will be mortgage free by 50, 2 relatively new vehicles and only the daily driver may need replacing in 7-10yrs. The other is a truck that will likely last another 20 since it’s a highway driver of great quality.

Thank you for any direction you can give on this. I do plan to speak with my usual investment advisor on this matter, but I do value going into those discussions with plenty of research.

Gail Says: Congrats on so many fronts. It’s great to hear how well you are doing. You do me proud. And continued success with your physical recovery.

Since you have a very short-term investment horizon, you must stick with something that keeps your money very liquid (so it’s not in a down market just when you want to use it.) search around for a high interest savings account that pays a decent return. Some like Achieve offer a good rate all year round (1.8% last time I looked) while others like Tangerine offer bonus interest for specific periods (2.5% right now on new deposits). You can always move it electronically later when the best rate expires.

 

T Wrote: I have read many of your posts, your books and have been using jars and your budget sheet for a few years now. I have a question and I did search and don’t think it has been asked before, if so I apologize for my oversight.

As I write this note, I am still in shock from being laid off from work. After 25 years with the same company and working since I was 16 I have a journey ahead of me. The good news is my husband is still employed and he and I own (ok the bank owns most of it) our own home with our 12 year old son.

I am fortunate to have been offered a salary continuation severance package for the next year and a half. Given our current economy and job market where we live it is realistic to assume I will not find a new job that replaces my current income within that time frame. So I am wondering financially, what is the best course of action? I am thinking that I should save as much money as possible over the year and a half. In other words start living now as if all we have is my husband’s salary. Emotionally that may take off some of the possible future stress if I am unable to secure similar income. Would you recommend that or would you have other suggestions? I realize it is difficult without a complete picture. We do have healthy RRSP savings as well as I anticipate to soon have information on my pension funds that will be transferred to me. We do not have credit card debt, only our mortgage and our vehicles have outstanding balances. We also have an RESP on the go for our son. Any recommendations or considerations you have would be very much appreciated.

Gail Says: Given the stress you must be under I am happy to see you thinking so clearly. Yes, you are absolutely right, you should now learn to live on one income, banking as much of your salary continuation as you can which you can a) use to build up your emergency fund, b) pay down your mortgage principal and c) fund your transition to your next income. You will likely be entitled to EI after your salary continuation ends, so you’re looking at about 2 years to plan and execute your next transition. So think about it. What would you like to do next? Start a small business (not one you have to spend heaps of money setting up, but one based on services you can render, perhaps)? Retrain to a field for which there is demand in your area? You are in a unique position in having time and money to make some decisions. Good luck.

 

A Wrote: I am hoping you can help me figure out why it seems like paying off debt faster is actually less effective—doesn’t make any sense right? Can you please help me?

My situation: I’m a new grad who recently started a good job grossing $63K a year. I have no debts outside of my $24245 federal student loan at a floating interest of 5.5%. I am looking at repayment options and drafting up budgets; my grace period ends at the end of this month. I can afford $1300/pay towards the student loan. I have $5070 savings (outside a 6 month emergency fund) that I can put towards the student loan as a lump sum.

Using the methodology for calculating payments on the website, I have done the following comparisons. As paying on a bi-weekly basis fits better with my cash flow, speeds up and reduces interest costs, I have modified the calculations for bi-weekly payments.

Tables don’t display well in the web form so please refer to the link below (I’ve left the link out to protect A’s privacy).

Gail Says: Good to see such a thoughtful plan. The thing you have not considered, which will work to your advantage, is that you’re paying interest on a declining balance. This means that as your balance goes down the amount of each payment going to interest also goes down, leaving more to pay principal. That means the sooner you make the payment, the more you save in interest and the faster you get to debt free. I also noticed that you have a savings account with an interest rate that you can better. Check out Tangerine, Manulife Bank and Achieva for better returns. Every mickle makes a muckle!

 

K Wrote: I’m 25 and have been out of school for a couple of years. I will soon be receiving an inheritance totalling a little over $60,000 and have been mulling over how wisely allocate this money. I have 5k in remaining student loans and a car loan totalling 22k to which I want to put 5k towards (I’m going to be moving soon and plan on selling the car and using public transit instead – I’m hoping that I can recoup close to the remaining 17k owed). I want to max out my RRSP room with 13k (currently at $600), and put 25k into my TFSA (currently at $2,100). I want to put aside around 6k for my moving expenses, including first/last, furniture, and anything else I’ll need (a few months of hydro/internet). I want a pool of 2k just in case some of my numbers don’t add up, and I want to leave myself 5k to have fun with and put together the beginnings of a travel fund. Any remaining amount will be lumped into my TFSA.

 

I’ve been putting a lot of thought into this, and am wondering if you think that this is a wise way to allocate this money! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Gail Says: What a delight it is to get your letter. I can see you have put a lot of thought into how you will best use this money and I think you’ve made a great plan. Go girl! Have fun on your travels and good luck with the big move.