Chris Hardwick's Blog, page 2201

How Crackle’s SNATCH Compares to Guy Ritchie’s Iconic Film

There’s something sacred about cult classic movies—you don’t want to mess with the lightning in a bottle magic that a film captured decades prior. But in this era of reboots, remakes and film-to-TV adaptations, Hollywood has become emboldened to take fan-favorite, iconic films and retool them for the modern era. Sometimes, it actually works and a network makes a hit out of a beloved property, striking gold in the Peak TV age. But most of the time, the original should have been left well enough alone.

Crackle’s TV adaptation of the popular 2000 film Snatch is of the former party.

Now a high-stakes, high-octane 10-episode series on the streaming site, the action, gangster mentality, heists and rapid-fire dialogue that earned the original movie a global fame over the past 17 years has been updated with an all-new cast of characters but still captures the feeling and tone of the original movie. Inspired by a real life heist in London, the new original series centers on a group of twenty-something, up and coming hustlers who stumble upon a truck load of stolen gold bullion and are suddenly thrust into the high-stakes world of organized crime. They must quickly learn to navigate the treacherous waters of London’s underworld as rogue cops, gypsy fighters, international mobsters and local villains descend.

“I’ve known [original Snatch film director] Guy [Ritchie] for a long time so when I was approached by Crackle to look at this I went to him and said, ‘How do you feel about it? Do I do it?’ And he said, ‘Yeah, if it’s f–king good,'” showrunner Alex De Rakoff said at the 2017 Winter Television Critics Association press tour panel. “And that was the end of it. I took that on and worked tirelessly ever since to try and do something that in some way holds up to the standard of the original film.”

The series is “loosely based on” the movie, and De Rakoff never wanted to simply redo the movie as a TV show. “You look at the original film and it’s irreverent, it’s ballsy, it’s stylistic and it is real iconic in the U.K.,” he said. “We wanted to take the spirit of the show and evoke that same stylistic feeling but obviously as long form television we get to deliver that in our own way. We created our own world of it. It has a very English spirit, the way they approach the hustles and the heist and the weapons that they use are very East London.”

The cast is comprised of a new generation of actors, ranging from Harry Potter star Rupert Grint to Gossip Girl star Ed Westwick, and they all knew how big the project’s history was when they signed on.

“Huge fan of the film. From scene to scene, it was iconic for me,” Westwick said. “There was such big talk in the playground, big talk in the office, amongst my friends, throughout life it’s always been iconic. I think that stretches not just for the UK but around the globe. It’s Snatch, you know? It’s a privilege to have had that, take it and create our own new Snatch, if you will.”

“It was this iconic cult classic,” Grint added.

Becoming these East London wannabe gangsters was something that excited Grint because of how different it was from the role that catapulted him to fame. But these young men aren’t bad guys.

“They’re all trying to escape something, particularly from their home life,” Grint said. “They all have quite complicated home foundations. Charlie has these bohemian hippie parents that have these weird sex parties and grow weed so he’s always trying to escape that. We’ll see where it goes. We get completely out of our depth. We’re just small time scammers and suddenly we find ourselves deep, deep trouble with lethal consequences. Its’ interesting how each of our characters deal with it in different ways.”

Grint not only stars but he also executive produces Snatch, and the television medium was something he looked forward to tackling. “It’s something I really relish and it’s something that I haven’t really had the opportunity to do, have a character and really develop it further and really carve out a journey,” Grint said. “I think that’s great of the long format of Snatch and not something the film could really touch on. I find it very exciting.”

And he isn’t afraid of alienating his younger fans who might only know him from Harry Potter. “The nature of [Snatch] is a much more adult project,” he said. “But I think that’s just a natural progression. As I’ve gotten older things get more dark, more grown up and a bit more edgy. But I would still say it’s got some family elements to it as well. There’s something for everyone in it. There’s a lot of comedy in it.”

As for Westwick, his character Sonny Castillo is a complete departure from what Gossip Girl fans are used to seeing from him. “I play a Cuban born Miami gangster,” he said with a laugh. “Obviously I’m not from that part of the world, surprise surprise. I spent a lot of time finding who to base it on. I settled on Pitbull the rapper. I don’t know if I actually end up sounding like him but it felt like a good fit. And guess what, even if you don’t like it I do.”

While he starred on Gossip Girl for six seasons, Westwick doesn’t believe any of his previous roles influence his current or future ones.

“I don’t really approach work by looking backwards,” Westwick said. “What I’ve done is what I’ve done and what’s in front of me is what’s in front of me. So with this, I got a script and I was a big fan of the script instantly. Then of course when you take into consideration the title and the history that comes with that, as a big fan of the original piece, so then it was just a match made in heaven. I was like, ‘Sign me up. Let’s do it.’ I can’t wait to see where it all goes.”

Are you excited to see a whole new generation take on Snatch? Tweet me your thoughts and opinions at @SydneyBucksbaum!

Images: Crackle

Snatch begins streaming for free on March 16 on Crackle.

Hear a New Film Score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross

A brand new Nine Inch Nails album one day, a film score the next: Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross never sleep. Yet while they were busy creating new music, so were some other bands. Liz Phair is recording a double LP with Ryan Adams, Jimmy Fallon and Kevin Bacon pretended to be The Kinks, Slowdive dropped their first single in 22 years, and Phantogram laid down a beautiful cover of Radiohead.

Shortly after releasing brand new Nine Inch Nails music, Trent Reznor is back with more new tunes. This time around, it’s just him and Atticus Ross. The two scored new music for Peter Berg’s newest film, Patriots Day, starring Mark Wahlberg, which you can stream in full above. The film news doesn’t stop there. Reznor and Atticus are teaming up once more to score Ken Burns’ new documentary, The Vietnam War, due this September on PBS. In other news, these two never sleep. I guess that’s the price to pay when you had a hand that feeds as much as Reznor’s does. [Pitchfork]

Unreal. 5 songs in 1 day. All analog.

Back to those sounds & that rawness I first heard on Exile. @PhizLair is an American treasure pic.twitter.com/TcY5Snu0Rv

— Ryan Adams (@TheRyanAdams) January 13, 2017

It’s been seven years since Liz Phair‘s last album, but the alt-rock queen hasn’t really surfaced in the public’s eye since the album before that one, 2005’s Somebody’s Miracle. Now she’s back in the studio with some majorly cool people. Phair is recording her new double (!) album with Ryan Adams in PaxAM Studio along with Don Was. Adams revealed this himself via Twitter after tweeting pictures on Thursday, January 12. It’s all analog. It brings back the rawness of Exile in Guyville. Best of all, they ran through five songs in one day, which means the vibe is quite good. Underdog album of the year? This may actually be. Stay tuned. [Consequence of Sound]

Jimmy Fallon loves his gag jokes and so do his viewers. Case and point: the latest episode of The Tonight Show which saw Fallon and Kevin Bacon impersonate The Kinks 1970 performance of “Lola.” Of course, the two dress up as Ray and Dave Davies, complete with wigs and ’70s garments, and fumble their way through bad rhymes and major spelling errors. Maybe this is why the two brothers got in a huge fight and don’t speak anymore. Creative differences, man. [Rolling Stone]

British shoegaze act Slowdive made a triumphant return in 2014 and 2015 when they toured old material to old fans and new, many of whom never got to see the band during their shoegaze heyday. Turns out that wasn’t a cash grab. Slowdive just unveiled their first new song in over 20 years, “Star Roving,” and it’s a beautiful burst of guitars, hushed vocals, and upbeat drumming that straps you in for a reunion that still sounds too good to be true. Their comeback LP has no title yet, but Dead Oceans will release it hopefully later this year. Check out the track above, turn up the volume, and float off in bliss. [Rolling Stone]

Radiohead have written countless songs that bring fans to tears, but there’s something about “Weird Fishes/Arpeggi” that punches me in the heart every time I hear it. Maybe it’s the way they toy with dynamics. Maybe it’s the transition between the first half of the song to the second where the volume drops super low. Maybe it’s the way Jonny Greenwood plucks his guitar. It’s hard to pick a reason, but it’s clear Phantogram, who have expressed their love for Radiohead several times in the past, are drawn to the song’s cushioned dynamics and Thom Yorke’s impressive crooning. The duo ditched their synth-heavy sound for a cover on Triple J’s “Live A Version” series that sees Sarah Barthel and Josh Carter drawing up a beautiful, intimate, faithful cover of the original that makes us emotional listening to it once again. [Consequence of Sound]

Today is the final installment of Music Dispatch, but come back to Nerdist next week for more music news under a different name. We’ll se you on the other side!

Image: Costa Communications

You Think You Know Albert Einstein? NatGeo’s GENIUS Begs to Differ

You think you know Albert Einsten? NatGeo’s first scripted series, Genius, wants you to know that you have no idea. The new anthology series—which will focus on one world-famous genius each year—begins with a first season that will tell the story of the theoretical physicist’s life from his teen years through his 70s.

And what super-producers Ron Howard, Brian Grazer and Gigi Pritzker, who tried to adapt Walter Isaacson’s biography Einstein: His Life and Universe for the big screen for years before bringing it to TV, want you to know is that there’s way more to the man than the few facts you might be able to rattle off. “I just thought of the brilliant old guy sticking his tongue out and the Theory of Relativity and that’s about it,” admitted Howard on a Television Critics Association 2017 winter press tour panel about the series.

But, as Pritzker said, “the biggest thing that has been so well done by Ron and Brian and the team is to understand that he’s just not about the math and the physics.”

The series stars Johnny Flynn (Netflix’s Lovesick) as the younger Einstein and Geoffrey Rush as the older version of the character. The series will span most of Einstein’s life, and show not just his contributions to science but the turmoil of his personal life—broken relationships, surviving two world wars, and escaping Adolf Hitler’s reign in his homeland of Germany.

“We had a lot of chats about being doppelgängers. [Flynn] plays—believe it or not—16 quite convincingly up until about the mid 30s, and then I very dangerously take over from my mid 40s until Einstein was in his early 70s,” Rush explained.

And while there’s plenty of drama, the series does have plenty of moments that showcase Einstein’s wit. “Yes, I think he did have that comedic and slightly twinkly, lunar sense of the world and rhythm but to see some of the things in his personal life as a young man and the tragedies that he went through…[being able] to see the humor in the context of that is really important and that’s not what you know of him as a layman.”

Genius premieres in April on Nat Geo.

Are you excited to see Einstein’s life story on screen? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Images: National Geographic/Dusan Martincek; General Photographic Agency via NatGeo

The Internet’s Funniest Reactions to the Nintendo Switch

There is much rejoicing in the Mushroom Kingdom of this morning, as last night’s big Nintendo Switch event brought merry tidings, and long-awaited news of the console’s release date (March 3), price point ($300), and what games will launch with it. We learned more about how the console works, and even speculated on whether or not it will have a successful launch.

While we wrapped our heads around all the new information, we had yet to take a look at what you, the internet, was saying about all this. We forget it sometime, but dang, you guys can be hilarious. A significant cultural event happened, so naturally you got the memes going strong. On today’s episode of Nerdist News, our intrepid host Jessica Chobot rounded up some of our favorites. You can see even more below because memes are the pulse of the people, and it’s nice to remember that we’re doing just fine (and just hilarious).

People joked about the presentation itself:

BOY IF THAT AIN’T ME ON A DAILY BASIS #NintendoSwitch pic.twitter.com/iDs5B3nTFj

— Glitch (@GlitchxCity) January 13, 2017

i love them more than i love my family #NintendoSwitch pic.twitter.com/zxB3LV8NCX

— your friend miles (@MilesExpress999) January 13, 2017

RUMOR: Obama to present Reggie Fils-Aime with a surprise Medal of Freedom at the #NintendoSwitch presentation.

— Jim Sterling (@JimSterling) January 13, 2017

MILK for the Nintendo Switch is your killer app #NintendoSwitch pic.twitter.com/ou4DZCj8r9

— RPG Site (@RPGSite) January 13, 2017

They shared some questionable information:

A very legit looking leak. Interesting. #NintendoSwitch pic.twitter.com/Lo4VlPBORX

— JPRPokeTrainer98 (@JPRPT98) January 11, 2017

A photo posted by Ronnie Panda (@thepandajam) on Jan 13, 2017 at 10:51am PST

Wow the new #nintendoswitch looks great! pic.twitter.com/uS59ZNidH7

— NoahJ456 (@NoahJ456) January 13, 2017

They had some fun at the expense of Arms, the upcoming fighting game for the Switch:

Arms. Finally a fighting game where everyone is Dhalsim! #nintendoswitch pic.twitter.com/0ExHqOUCMc

— The Great Clement (@ClementJ64) January 13, 2017

Before I hug people I’m gonna say “I’d like to introduce you… to arms.” #NintendoSwitch

— LittleKuriboh (@yugiohtas) January 13, 2017

BRO! THIS IS EXTREME SOCK’EM BOPPERS! #NintendoSwitch pic.twitter.com/friEYJD8BN

— Glitch (@GlitchxCity) January 13, 2017

They poked fun at the amazing-looking game Super Mario Odyssey, which puts the rounded plumber in the real world:

A photo posted by Random Textposting Asshole (@mystery_ghost_man) on Jan 13, 2017 at 10:55am PST

Excited for the new #SuperMarioOdyssey!!! #NintendoSwitchPresentation pic.twitter.com/2KkjyLjm5X

— ChunksTheMighty (@ChunksTheMighty) January 13, 2017

And for good measure, they got a Splatoon 2 meme in there:

A photo posted by @lifeispokemon on Jan 12, 2017 at 11:38pm PST

That’s what we saw, but what did we miss? Get at us on Twitter and let us know what you’re seeing out there!

Featured image: Nintendo

RIP William Peter Blatty, the Man Behind THE EXORCIST

This morning I learned of the passing of author, Academy Award winning screenwriter, and director William Peter Blatty from probably the most fitting source for the millions of fans who knew him best for telling the story of Regan and Chris MacNeil, Father Damien Karras, Father Lankester Merrin, and Lieutenant William Kinderman: director William Friedkin. “William Peter Blatty,” he wrote, “dear friend and brother who created The Exorcist passed away yesterday.” Blatty was 89 years old.

Blatty had numerous accomplishments as an artist outside of creating The Exorcist: he co-wrote the screenplay for the classic Peter Sellers comedy A Shot in the Dark, and wrote and directed the film adaptation of his novel The Ninth Configuration, for which he won a Golden Globe for his screenplay. But for me, the world of The Exorcist proved to be one that I have not been able to get out of my head since I saw it at a sleepover when I was twelve years old and it scared me so badly that I couldn’t sleep for a year. The Exorcist and Wes Craven‘s Scream were probably the two movies that allowed me to understand as a fan and a student of film that horror could be something that was studied and often had something much deeper going on beneath the surface than the scares alone.

I’ve read Blatty’s novel many times and seen the film adaptation more times than I can count. For those of you who perhaps have never picked up the book, but like the movie — or even if you don’t like the movie — I would recommend giving the novel a try. It’s an incredible piece of literature, so much so that upon hearing the news of Blatty’s passing, literary icon Stephen King Tweeted, “RIP William Peter Blatty, who wrote the great horror novel of our time. So long, Old Bill.” As I am currently finishing up King’s book It for the first time, I can say that is high praise.

But King is not wrong, The Exorcist is a remarkable piece of fiction. If you know anything about me then you know that I love horror movies both on an intellectual and visceral level while most people regard them as a genre one step above pornography. And yet, every now and again, there is a movie or book classified as horror that transcends genre prejudice and reaches people so deeply that it becomes a pop culture phenomenon. The Exorcist was both that book and that film. The movie was both critically acclaimed and a box office smash, nominated for ten Oscars and it grossed hundreds of millions of dollars world wide, producing a legacy that spawned sequels on film, on television, and even a follow up book written by Blatty himself called Legion that was adapted by the author into a screenplay and a film, The Exorcist III, re-released in director’s cut format just last year.

What’s so interesting about the novel The Exorcist as compared to the movie is that it is very much a mystery: is Regan MacNeil actually possessed or does she have some form of mental disorder? This is a question that, if you ask me, is stripped from the iconic film; there is no doubt that there is a demon inside Linda Blair’s Regan and only divine intervention will be able to save her. In the decades that have gone by since The Exorcist first horrified audiences around the world, the movie is still remembered by many to be the scariest movie of all time and most of that cultural impact could be attributed to the graphic nature of the imagery. Make no mistake, these horrific things were all present in Blatty’s novel, but once again, some form of mystery was also present: so much more was hinted at and alluded to that it was up to the reader to imagine what was going on inside that little girl’s bedroom. “Wait, does that line mean what I think it means?!” There was no such mystery in Friedkin’s film, a well-documented source of contention between the writer and director throughout the production of the movie.

Now, I want to be very clear, I love every minute of Friedkin’s classic. Forget “horror movies,” I think it is one of the greatest American dramas of all time, but there is no such mystery going on here, the violent terror is all up on the screen. And yet, underneath all of that, I believe that what allowed the imagery to be so affective, what I believe resonated with audiences the most over what’s now just shy of forty-five years, is the emotional horror lurking through the action. What must it be like for a mother to watch her daughter suffer and spin out of control, leaving her completely helpless? To feel like a failure and a “bad mom” for subjecting her daughter to a failed marriage and her desire to have a fully realized career? Meanwhile, Damien Karras must endure the agony of watching his beloved mother disintegrate before his very eyes and process the guilt of pondering, Could I have done more for her? Was I a good son? Is my faith as sound as it could be? These are beautifully haunting questions that every human being asks at one point or another in their life, and if you ask me, the themes that rise above the salacious images that have become synonymous and allowed generation after generation of readers and viewers to connect with the material, and will allow countless others to connect as time, technology, and special effects advance. Friedkin and Blatty, while they didn’t see eye to eye on everything, proved to be a perfect team.

In 1990, Blatty’s adaptation of his novel Legion, a sequel to The Exorcist, made its way to the big screen. While upon its initial release the film wasn’t quite the critical or commercial success that Hollywood was looking for, it has won favor with fans over time. As I revisited the movie this morning, I noticed many things, specifically that Legion, as the film has come to be called in it’s director’s cut format, is all about the power of suggestion. Throughout the entire thing, the horrific acts that are taking place as a result of the Gemini Killer are mostly implied and it felt, at least to me, a fan who has probably read far more than any normal person should have about the legacy of The Exorcist, that Blatty finally got to make his own Exorcist movie. One that is subtle and has a creep factor that pulses through the entire thing, and puts the mystery that only Kinderman could solve that was mostly stripped from the 1973 film’s screenplay, front and center. Even the iconic scare that most people know, even if they haven’t seen the movie, circulated in GIF form since GIFs have become a thing, is so much more than that one and a half second climax. The sequence is long and it is deliberately paced. It makes use of the long and stationary hallway shots that Blatty has been using thorough the whole movie, and even throws a red herring scare in there before the big, scream-out-loud moment. But the key to it all working is patience.

Now that Blatty has passed, he leaves behind a legacy that will, without a doubt, live on for many lifetimes to come through film, television, and literature. He won accolades and admiration for a work that scared generations around the globe, one that was heavily researched and incredibly personal. And while The Exorcist is remembered for its unabashed terror, it also offered a complexity, a subtlety, and a humanity that is a one-in-a-million feat to accomplish. I can say with complete sincerity that Blatty’s work changed my life, encouraged me to ask questions and face fears that I may not have otherwise. I will forever be a grateful fan.

Featured Image: Warner Bros

Images: Warner Bros, Morgan Creek Productions

Here’s more of how much The Exorcist

New SLEIGHT Trailer Asks If Magic Is Really Just a Trick

In the world of Sleight, the magic certainly does look real. But for one street magician, it may not be quite enough to save the life of his sister, or even his own life. The film stars Jacob Latimore as Bo, a magician whose talent for simple illusions may be more than it initially seems. As we see in the latest trailer for Sleight, it isn’t quite clear what’s really going on when Bo pulls off a trick. Are there hidden devices in his arsenal, or has his so-called magic truly become a reality? Whatever , Bo is going to need everything he’s got tucked up his sleeve when he finds out he has to rescue his kidnapped sister.

The new trailer establishes some of Bo’s backstory as a young man who was forced to raise his sister after the deaths of their parents. Unfortunately for Bo, his ties to local criminals have attracted some unwanted attention from a few dangerous individuals. Now, they’ve taken Bo’s younger sister as a hostage, and Bo isn’t coming home without her. Of course, there’s also the possibility that Bo isn’t coming home at all.

In addition to Latimore, the film stars Seychelle Gabriel, Dulé Hill, Sasheer Zamata, and Storm Reid. J.D. Dillard directed Sleight, and he also co-wrote the script with Alex Theurer. The film hits theaters on Friday, April 7.

What did you think about the new trailer for Sleight?  Do a magic trick and share your secrets in the comment section below!

Image: WWE Studios/BH Tilt

Fully Automatic Crossbow is Totally Unnecessary and Completely Brilliant

Lots of questions may pop into mind when gazing at the glorious contraption that is Jörg Sprave’s fully automatic drill-powered crossbow: Is Sprave’s fully automatic crossbow even legal? (In Germany, yes it is.) Is Sprave going to try to build a bigger version with a bigger power drill, or maybe even a John Deere motor? (Also yes.) And finally, does Sprave need to laugh like a giant, muscular German baby every time he fires this thing?

What do you think?

Sprave, the YouTuber responsible for the ridiculous “Bowling Ball Launcher” and even more ridiculous “Airzooka,” calls the fully automatic crossbow a “Dream [that] came true,” and demonstrates how the behemoth bolt-blaster utilizes a drill that has 50 Newton Meters (1.3 lb-ft) of torque, and a 32-bolt magazine, to absolutely shred whatever is in front of it. Note how the fully automatic crossbow makes Sprave look like he hunts T-1000s professionally.

At around 3:40 in the video, Sprave puts on a little Q&A for anybody who is interested in learning more about the crossbow’s build. He also provides some more slow-mo footage, in case you want to witness the seductive allure of a power tool firing deadly projectiles at an alarming rate.

What are your thoughts on Sprave’s fully automatic drill-powered crossbow? Do you want to hold it in your hands and feel its power flow through you? Could Chewbacca have saved some crucial lives in Episode VII if he had a laser version of this? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

Images: JoergSprave

A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS Premiere Is Good to Be “Bad” (Recap)

I am sorry to tell you, dear reader, that this recap of the A Series of Unfortunate Events episode “A Bad Beginning: Part One,” has spoilers in the beginning, spoilers at the end, and very few moments of non-spoilage in between. Should you prefer to be surprised, it is suggested that you abscond–which in this case means “navigate away”–from this page, until such time as your constitution is capable of absorbing what ensues.

Netflix‘s take on the Lemony Snicket stories of the Baudelaire orphans wasted no time in setting the tone, with a theme song (which you can watch above) by Neil Patrick Harris (of course!), warning the viewer to look away, while engaging in humorous word play that’s ear-candy enough to ensure we do not, in fact, tune out…all atop some Weird Al-like accordion work. “This show will wreck your evening, your home life and your day/every single episode is nothing but dismay!” That’s one hell of a promise–the only show that usually does that to me is the evening news. It’s also a more creative choice than, say, Danny Elfman.

Presley Smith–a baby–is getting co-star billing in this, which is unusual, and possibly very cool, depending on whether the kid actually wants to act later in life. But who is the person making John Nash-like yarn lines between photos on a wall, like every obsessed detective and/or serial killer in movies, and nobody in actual real life? Lemony Snicket (Patrick Warburton), of course. “There’s nothing but horror and inconvenience on the way!” continued the theme. Well, I like horror, and having every episode on Netflix is, in fact, convenient. This was your first sign of many that the narrator may be unreliable.

“To Beatrice–darling, dearest, dead” began the episode proper, in typed letters on black. Beatrice, we will learn, is Snicket’s deceased love, and possibly more significant than that, if there are future seasons of the show. This faded into our first good look at Lemony himself, telling us the story happened many years ago, and giving us a chance to stop watching and pick something with a happy ending instead. Notably, he mentioned it’s his “solemn duty” to bring this story to light…but duty to whom? Or what? This isn’t just an errant question; it will become more nagging as the series progresses. “This story will be dreadful, melancholy, and calamitous: a word which here means dreadful and melancholy.” The first of many word definitions to come was an exercise in humorous redundancy.

Violet (Malina Weissman), Klaus (Louis Hynes), and Sunny were then introduced to us, riding in the back of a speeding, Wes Andesron-esque trolley first through cheerful, affluent neighborhoods, but then all the way to a post-apocalyptic hellscape of a beach that looks like the movie The Road. “Festive means fun!” said the cheerful conductor, prompting the first of many similar responses from the children; “We know what festive means.” They pointedly avoided entreaties to go to the fun fair, choosing the gloom of Briny Beach instead, setting a tone for what’s to come. They were sent to said beach, unaccompanied, by their parents, which is as suspicious as the fire truck that was briefly driving parallel to their trolley.

Snicket may have been narrating from the future of the story we’re seeing, but director Barry Sonnenfeld wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to throw Warburton into an old-timey bathing suit and have him sit in the beach lifeguard chair to comment on the action. Good for him. Anyway, this part was where we learned about the respective talents of the Baudelaire children: Violet likes to invent and fix things, Klaus is intelligent and loves to read, and baby Sunny can understand English (though she cannot speak it yet, but fortunately her siblings understand “Baby”) and use her freakishly sharp teeth to perform superhuman tasks like chewing a rock into a smooth skipping stone.

A point was also made of Violet being right-handed. This will come up again. James Brown lyrics were dropped just so we know this is supposed to be reasonably present-day, despite the elaborate, retro-style clockwork grappling hook the kids just deployed to retrieve their skipping stone. And now I wish Warburton would do a whole Shatner-style spoken-word album of James Brown covers.

Anyway, along came Mr. Poe (K. Todd Freeman), who was most definitely not Timothy Spall-like this time around. It’s not just that the character is now black, but he’s also thin and way more socially awkward, with a supremely dorky lack of tact and a never-ending cough. “It IS a nice day. I have some very bad news for you children. Your parents have perished in a terrible fire.” I mean, it’s not like he was being mean, per se, just that he had absolutely no idea that his joy in a message well-conveyed wouldn’t outweigh the awfulness of said message. But even casual cruelty has a disproportionate effect on children. As we shall see, repeatedly.

Lemony climbed through a manhole with what looked like Dr. Strange’s Eye of Agamotto on it to segue back into the Baudelaire home as the fire which killed the parents was starting. He told us neither he nor his mysterious “associates” (who?) could ascertain the cause of the fire, but you may, if you look closely. Notice how bright spots appeared on the wall and curtains shortly before they burst into flame, as if from a magnifying glass burning ants.

Back in the Baudelaire orphans’ timeline, they wandered the charred ruins of their house as Sunny found a spyglass that seems significant, especially since it to had that Eye of Agamotto-like symbol on it. We also learned the key detail from Poe that the siblings have inherited a substantial fortune, only accessible when Violet “comes of age” (she’s described as 14, so that probably means in four years, but who knows what rules this alternate reality plays by?). And until they could find a new guardian, they would come and stay with Poe, whose wife just so happens to be the Rita Skeeter of the Snicket-verse. Also, damn, that baby is really calm.

Snicket’s throwaway line about what Poe’s two sons are doing today is priceless: one is a banker, and the other lives in a cave and talks to sheep. “They each think the other has it better.”

Poe’s house being the only normal-sized house in a row of much taller ones–and the subsequent appearance of Count Olaf’s castle in an otherwise happy neighborhood–may remind you just how much the original Despicable Me “borrowed” from Lemony Snicket. I’m sure its just coincidence that Olaf’s henchpersons are also bumbling goofs who wear bad disguises.

“He’s employed as an actor, so you know his excitement is genuine.” Depends how method he is, I suppose.

In wordplay typical of the series, we learned that Count Olaf got custody because Poe doesn’t understand what “closest living relative” means–three miles away, Olaf is merely geographically closest. Meanwhile, if you want to make this a drinking game, drink every time a character defines a word they’ve just used in a sentence, whether they did so correctly or not.

Justice Strauss (Joan Cusack) was presented as a potentially perfect guardian for the kids, needing some help with gadgets, her library, and cutting things…so of course, this being a series of unfortunate events, there’s no chance she’ll ever be granted that role. Count Olaf lives right across the street, of course, in the Edward Scissorhands castle. And the first thing we noticed about him is he has that same eye logo tattooed on his left ankle. Neil Patrick Harris’ innate likability actually made Olaf’s initial fakeout as a nice guy semi-believable…at least, until he realized the fortune would not be his for years under the terms of the will. Them the passive aggressive seething began, and after Poe left, all-out tyranny. Anyone who has ever worked as an actor’s assistant (or been babysat by the wrong person) will relate. Snicket’s subsequent monologue about Olaf’s villainy was straight-up Adam West Batman.

So Olaf’s house is like the Addams Family mansion, only inhabited by people who don’t actually like torture and despair. Yes, Barry Sonnenfeld’s the right guy for this.

“The most important substance on earth, besides applause and lip balm” – Count Olaf, describing money.

So, the children were free to go to Strauss’ house to see her library, yet never told her how terrible Count Olaf is? Granted, he poisoned the well by lying to her about their behavior, but still…Anyway, in a neat sight gag, Strauss only partially pulled out a book entitled “An Incomplete History of Secre…” and we didn’t see the full title.

Back at the castle, we got a self-promoting musical number from Olaf and his “thee-AT-ter” troupe. It was everything we hoped.

Wonder orphan powers, combine! Pasta puttanesca was made for dinner, though Olaf retconned his request and demanded roast beef. When they tried to stand up for themselves, Klaus got a slap and a big bruise.

AWW SNAP HOLY PLOT TWIST! The parents are alive? In a prison car? And they’re played by Will Arnett and Cobie Smulders? This is new. But how will it play out in an adaptation that (I assume, because the original author wrote it) still intends to stay reasonably faithful?

Let us know your thoughts on the unfolding Series of Unfortunate Events in comments below!

Images: Netflix

Here’s Every Game Announced for the Nintendo Switch [Updated Live]

If you’ve been following along with our live blog, you know that the Nintendo Switch Presentation 2017 finally announced the price, release date, and details for the Nintendo Switch this evening! Though things started off a bit slow with the announcement of some more waggle-tastic games that made the new console seem more like a Wii successor, things quickly picked up once our favorite platforming plumber made a glorious appearance.

From Mario’s new look to a fan-favorite sequel to everything in between, here are all the games Nintendo revealed for the Nintendo Switch.

Super Mario Odyssey

There’s no game that can single handedly sell a console, but Super Mario Odyssey sure does come close to being a system-seller. The Nintendo mascot is back in a brand new 3D adventure that goes to some colorful new locations, as well as the real world. You read that right, it looks like Mario will be interacting with our world in some manner. Trust us, it looks as strange as it sounds. Nintendo also mentioned that Odyssey will feature more sandbox-style levels a-la Super Mario Sunshine. Oh, his iconic red hat is also a character now. Take a gander at the clip above.

You can expect this game to hit the Nintendo Switch later in 2017 during the holiday season.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2

Monolith’s Xenoblade Chronicles was easily one of the best games on the Wii. The same can be said about Xenoblade Chronicles X on the Wii U, so forgive me for squealing when Xenoblade Chronicles 2 was announced during this presentation. The title suggests this is a direct sequel to the Wii game, but there haven’t been any specifics shared yet. All we have is the above trailer that features some very Xenoblade-like characters and worlds. Consume the clip from Monolith’s game above.

Hopefully we’ll get to see this game by the end of the year.

Fire Emblem Warriors

The Fire Emblem franchise has been getting a lot of love from Nintendo in recent years, and it doesn’t appear to be ending any time soon. Fire Emblem Warriors was announced during the stream with no gameplay footage and no real concrete details, other than Koei Tecmo is involved in the game. That probably means this will be a hack-and-slash title in the vein of Hyrule Warriors. There’s no release date tied to the project yet, but expect gameplay footage before a launch date. Chances are we’ll learn more during E3 2017.

Splatoon 2

Nintendo’s everyone-friendly shooter is making an appearance on the Switch, as many had already suspected. Splatoon 2, which is set to launch Summer 2017, will feature the same squid-like Inklings with new weapons, new stages, and even new special weapons. One of the new weapons revealed is called the Splat-Duallies, which gives your character dual-pistols that can both wreck your opponent, and propel you in different directions. The game can also be played in several configurations including the Joy-con controllers or the Pro controller. And all the inputs that once required the touchscreen have been mapped to the controller. All-in-all this looks like more of the same–which is pretty damn great.

1-2-Switch

This is the Wii-waggle stuff I was talking about. The first game revealed during the presentation was 1-2-Switch, where you and a friend grab one of the Joy-Con controllers to face each other in what appears to be several mini-games. This is the party game that is set to launch with the console. Nintendo made sure to point out that the games were designed so that players face each other. One of the games shown off was a Western shootout where the Joy-Con mimics a gun. Leave it to Nintendo to try and get people to actually interact when playing games. I’m not so sure hardcore gamers will care about this, but it was designed as a game that could be used as an “ice-breaker” at parties. “Here nerds, you’re too awkward. Show up to parties with this game an you’ll be the cool kid.”

Arms

And, here’s the other motion control game. Arms is a multi-player boxing game that utilizes the Joy-Con controllers by having the player use the detachable controllers as boxing gloves. What makes it so unique is the ability for characters to jump around and punch each other from far distances using stringy arms. It’s rather strange looking, but fun if you’re into motion controls. It’s not clear whether you’ll be able to use this with a standard controller. Here’s hoping you can.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Okay, guys. This is not a drill, a brand-spanking new trailer for Breath of the Wild dropped during the presentation and it’s utterly brilliant. I mean good lord it looks epic. We got to check out some epic new battles and even got a taste of some story elements. And now there’s voice acting in the game! I kid you not. I’m sure purists won’t be too happy about that, but this looks super crisp, and I can’t contain myself, y’all. Most importantly, however, we now know this beauty will be launching alongside the Nintendo Switch on March 3. If you’re still not down to invest the funds on new hardware, Breath of the Wild will be launching the same day on the Wii U.

What do you think about these games? I can’t say this was the strongest presentation ever, but it sure had a lot of good games. The real issue is that most of these are not launch games, and that might be a problem for some. But then again, does the lack of titles matter when Breath of the Wild, one of the most anticipated titles in the past few years, is a launch game? Let us know what you thought about the presentation in the comments section below.

Images: Nintendo

Nintendo Reveals Release Date, Price, and Details for Nintendo Switch

Finally! After months of waiting, we finally know how much Nintendo’s highly anticipated hybrid console is going to cost us, as well as when it will finally land on shelves around the globe. During the official Nintendo Switch Presentation this evening, the Japanese conglomerate revealed that the Nintendo Switch will launch worldwide on March 3, 2017 for $299–which lands on the higher end of the rumored $250-$300 price range we discussed this morning. The company is also tossing aside region locking, which means games from any region will work on any console. Rejoice! Letsa get to the details, shall we?

#NintendoSwitch arrives on March 3. Here’s what’s in the box. pic.twitter.com/ZGiz0y5QKd

— Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) January 13, 2017

Towards the end of the keynote address, the company announced the following components would come in the box: the console, two Joy-Con controllers (in either gray, or Neon Red and Neon Blue), the Joy-Con grip, the console doc, an HDMI cable, and an AC adapter. The pro-controller shown off during the show will be available separately. Before diving into the games that are headed to the Switch, the publisher spent a lot of time explaining the mysterious Joy-Con controllers, and how they work. Check out the detailed image below for a closer look:

Take a closer look at the features of each Joy-Con controller. #NintendoSwitch pic.twitter.com/JuHBvoWRXI

— Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) January 13, 2017

Once detached from the console, the Joy-Con controllers function on their own as individual controllers. They support motion controls as well as HD rumble, and can be used without a television screen. To demonstrate the features, Nintendo showed off a mini-game collection called 1-2 Switch. Instead of looking at a screen, players are encouraged to look at each other.

Nintendo also shared a few details about the online service that will be available with the Switch. According to the presentation, a limited version of the service will be available for via a free trial on launch, but will require a paid subscription starting in fall 2017. While they did not reveal how much the subscription will cost, they did detail a few of the features. During Summer 2017, a compatible smartphone app will allow players to connect to the online service, invite friends for play sessions, and chat with friends using the app. Additionally, subscribers will reportedly score free games each month.

Stay tuned for additional updates about the Nintendo Switch!

Will you be grabbing the Nintendo Switch when it launches on March 3? What do you think of the Joy-Con controllers? Let us know in the comments below, join the conversation on Facebook, or start one with me on Twitter: @Samantha_Sofka.

Images: Nintendo