Chris Hardwick's Blog, page 2199

Scream at a Wall: Rock Hard to New Tracks From WELTESSER and IRON REAGAN

Wipe the blood from your teeth and get in the pit: it’s time for a recap of this week’s best hardcore, metal, and punk rock. It’s a new year and the perfect time to get amped up on some new heavy tunes. Looking for some new death metal to bring into your life? Got you covered. Need some grindcore to get your wedding reception off on the right foot? Say no more. Strap in, kiddies; it’s time to rock.

 

Weltesser is about to unleash one hell of a debut album. These guys came out of nowhere (Florida, actually) and put together one of the heaviest, bleakest records we’ve ever heard. Crestfallen is a raw and bitter experience, a violent beast of an album that can sonically pummel listeners into submission. It’s oozing feedback and darkness. Weltesser might be flying under your radar right now, but that needs to change. This band deserves your attention. They demand it. Crestfallen certainly proves they are a force to be reckoned with. Pre-order this monster now.

Crestfallen by Weltesser

Nobody sings sorrow quite like The Menzingers. Their new album, After the Party, is shaping up to be one of the band’s best. We’ve heard a couple tracks so far and they are all great; now the fine folks at Stereogum have shared the album’s title track and it’s probably the best Menzingers song we’ve ever heard. Okay, maybe that’s taking it a bit far, but it’s really, really good. Melodic, sad, and catchy, it’s everything we love about the band. We’re pumped for After the Party, no doubt.

(Stereogum)

 

As the release of Crossover Ministry inches closer, more and more Iron Reagan tracks trickle into our earholes. Case in point, “Bleed the Fifth,” which you can watch the music video for below. The song is classic Iron Reagan; tons of thrash mixed with a shout-along chorus. The video is a strange little tale of a corrupt cop and his partner. It’s got guns, drugs, and strippers, so it fits with Iron Reagan’s general themes just fine, even if it’s a bit more cinematic than you’d expect from this band. Crossover Ministry is a kickass album and “Bleed the Fifth” is a kickass song and Iron Reagan is a band that kicks so much ass. Asses will be kicked.

 

If nothing else, Rebel Wizard wins points for their awesome name. Just say it out loud. “Rebel Wizard.” So weird and wonderful. As luck would have it, this band with an awesome name also makes awesome music. Take a listen to “Trampled by Wolves and Sheep” below; it’s a laser-fast number filled with blazing riffs and intense screeching. Just listening to this song will make your brain fry and your blood boil. It’s so fast and so good, like injecting caffeine straight into your veins. Rebel Wizard, we like you. We like your name and we like your ripping tunes.

 

Career Suicide make mean, hardcore punk. They make the good stuff; the sort of stuff we want to drizzle on our pancakes and eat in the morning. They make rapid-fire punk that hits you like broken glass. Some bands slow down as they age, but after a decade and a half, Career Suicide is still whipping up circle pits and knocking out teeth. This stuff is just good ol’ fashion hardcore punk and that is exactly what America needs right now. We could all use a little time in the pit.

(NPR)

 

We’ll finish off this week by getting weird with some animals. Horseneck just released a video for their song “Michael Caine” and it’s a banger. The song is freaking great, a mix of ’90s grunge, stoner metal, post-hardcore, and noise, Horseneck rock and rock hard. Think Whores. mixed with Kyuss meets Soundgarden and Unsane. The actual video is just the band dressed like animals while they party hard. It’s basically nightmare fuel. Wonderfully bizarre, it’s the exact opposite of the hardcore track it’s paired with. But hey, opposites attract and everything about this pairing works for us. We like to get weird and we like hard rocking bands, so Horseneck is an A+ in our book.

(CLRVYNT)

 

Okay, that’s it for us this week. 2017 is shaping up nicely in the music department, right? Let us know what metal, hardcore, and/or punk you’re thrashing to in the comments below.

Image: Prosthetic Records/Weltesser

Gif: Cartoon Network

Benjamin Bailey writes for the Nerdist and can be found on Twitter talking about Godzilla, comic books, and hardcore music.

TNT’s WILL Wants to Be Your Rock and Roll Shakespeare

What was William Shakespeare like before he became a famous playwright? According to the producers of Will, TNT’s new drama about the Bard’s life in his 20s, he was essentially a punk rocker.

Not what you probably expected, huh?

The 10-episode series chronicles the life of a young Will (Laurie Davidson) as he enters the wild theater scene of 16th century London, and uses modern music and contemporary style to tell his story. “Back then, [theater] was like rock and roll or puck rock, this completely revolutionary [form of] entertainment, creator Craig Pearce explained to reporters at a Television Critics Association 2017 winter press tour panel for the new series. “It wasn’t something for the intellectuals, it wasn’t something up on a pedestal, it was something for the masses.”

Not much is known about Shakespeare’s early life, which the producers believe is an advantage for them. “He’s the most famous person in the world that people don’t really know anything about, except for a few facts and then beyond that there’s a lot of speculation,” Pearce said.

Added executive producer Shekhar Kapur, “History is interpretation. …We’ve taken Shakespeare, whatever we know, and interpreted it for us, for this generation and now.”

In fact, they hope Will will be viewed in the spirit of Shakespeare’s original audience. “I have to admit, I grew up hating Shakespeare. I thought he was someone for the intellectuals,” Kapur confessed. But after reading Pearce’s script, he reconsidered. He remembers asking Pearce, “How the f— did the intellectuals usurp Shakespeare?”

Shakespeare’s contemporaries today would be rock stars or rappers. “If today Shakespeare was around he would’ve been a rapper on the streets,” Kapur said. “He would be writing that sort of thing. So we have to make a [show] that represents the kind of thing he would make for the people at that time.”

Will premieres in 2017 on TNT.

Will you watch sexy young Shakespeare? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Images: TNT

Louis C.K. and Albert Brooks Will Star in THE COPS Animated Series on TBS

Louis C.K.‘s Louie may still be on an extended hiatus, but he won’t be gone from television for much longer. C.K. is teaming up with Albert Brooks for a new animated series on TBS that will cast both comedians as a pair of policemen.

C.K. and Brooks have co-created The Cops, which will receive a 10-episode first season from TBS in 2018. Within the show, C.K. will voice a cop named Lou, while Brooks will portray his partner, Al. The official description from the network calls them “two Los Angeles patrolmen trying their best to protect and serve, sometimes failing at both. Ride with them as they patrol one of the biggest cities in the world, then go home with them and be glad you’re not married to either.”

Both C.K. and Brooks have previous voiceover experience. Brooks has made many guest appearances on The Simpsons, in addition to voicing Marlin in Finding Nemo and Finding Dory, and his most recent turn as Tiberius in The Secret Life of Pets. C.K. also had a leading role in The Secret Life of Pets as Max, and he’s lent his voice to two episodes of Gravity Falls.

The Cops is being produced by FX Productions, with animation veterans Greg Daniels, Dino Stamatopoulos, Dave Becky, and Howard Klein attached as executive producers. The series doesn’t have a premiere date yet, but it will likely begin production soon.

Are you excited to see C.K. and Brooks team up in The Cops? Pull over to the side and share your thoughts in the comment section below!

Image: FX

How the Creator of Mario Makes His Games Come Together

It’s entirely possible that Shigeru Miyamoto has influenced how we spend our free time more than any other person in the world. His video game creations made us spend countless hours parked in front of a screen and breathed new life into gaming that has grown into a multi-million dollar industry. What’s truly impressive is how his designs (and one red-jumpsuited guy in particular) are still able to capture an audience to this day.

A recent video on the Vox YouTube channel gives us an closer look at how Miyamoto’s game designs transformed a failing industry into a flourishing one, and did so by usually marching to the beat of the creator’s own drum, never succumbing to fads and trends. In an interview with Miyamoto, he explains that his approach to game design is thinking about how he can convey to the player what it is they’re supposed to do. This is evident in both Mario and Donkey Kong, as he explains “In Mario you keep moving to the right to reach the end goal. In Donkey Kong you keep climbing up…”

That general simplicity of what the player’s goals are makes up a major part of Miyamoto’s lasting impression on the gaming world. Even with the latest iteration of Super Mario Run for mobile devices, the goal is still the same and universally understood: move to the right to reach your goal. The Vox video even goes so far as to explain the genius behind the first screens of Super Mario Bros. and how it teaches you how to play the game without a single word, instruction book, or walk through (something modern gaming often fails at).

What are some of your favorite Mario games? Let’s discuss in the comments below!

TANGLED: BEFORE EVER AFTER Trailer Shows the Return Of Rapunzel’s Hair

Many may have wondered how Disney was going to do a Tangled sequel (and series) if, by the end of the 2010 film, Rapunzel had lost her magical flowing locks. Well, in a world where magical hair can exist, it can also grow back in an instant.

A recent post on Entertainment Weekly brought us the new trailer for the upcoming Disney Channel movie Tangled: Before Ever After, and it looks delightful. Catching up sometime after the events of the first film (but before those of the short film sequel Tangled Ever After hence the “before” in the title) something happens which causes Rapunzel’s long golden hair to return. For someone who spent most of her life a prisoner by Mother Gothel who took advantage of its magic, this is clearly something that worries the young princess. Thankfully, she’s got Eugene, Pascal, Maximus, and a new character named Cassandra (voiced by Wicked‘s Eden Espinosa) to help her deal with it.

Although lacking the 3D CGI animation we saw in the first film, the stylized flatter art style in this new iteration seems to still work. We suppose that’s a great thing with Disney animation in that we’re given such recognizable characters that they’ll often work in all sorts of other mediums. And speaking of recognizable characters, you may have noticed the original voice cast of Mandy Moore and Zachary Levi return as the voices of Rapunzel and Eugene which will also continue on into the Disney Channel series.

What are your thoughts on this first look at Tangled: Before Ever After? Are you excited for the Tangled  series that will follow? Let’s discuss in the comments below!

Image: Disney Channel

The Night is Dark and Full of Liquor at New GAME OF THRONES Pop-Up Bar

We would never encourage anyone to drink like a Lannister, but winter is coming, and there’s nothing quite like hunkering down at your favorite bar or pub on a cold winter’s night, since we all know “everything’s better with some wine in the belly.” So when the Long Night descends what could be better than popping into this new Game of Thrones-inspired bar.

We first learned about this Edinburgh, Scotland establishment, perfectly named Blood and Wine, over at Buzzfeed, and it could just as easily be found in Westeros. It is the latest creation from The Pop Up Geeks, who say they their “Maesters have sifted through scrolls, trawled through parchments and painstakingly sampled the many wines, ales, spirits and infusions found within the pages of George R.R Martin’s epic A Song of Ice and Fire series to source only the finest that the Seven Kingdoms have to offer.”

A photo posted by The Pop up Geeks (@thepopupgeeks) on Dec 18, 2016 at 3:04am PST

While not officially affiliated with HBO, Game of Thrones, or George R.R. Martin, their large drink menu is inspired by actual beverages enjoyed by (or used to poison) characters in A Song of Ice and Fire, including a flight of wines ranging from Arbor Gold to a Dornish sour red. They also serve food, including “Frey Pies” (we assume/hope they aren’t completely authentic), and of course Sansa’s favorite, lemon cakes.

A photo posted by The Pop up Geeks (@thepopupgeeks) on Jan 12, 2017 at 5:39am PST

The bar, located in the cellar of Daylight Robbery, is adorned with Game of Thrones props and decorations, though we suggest you not handle Longclaw after you’ve been drinking all night, otherwise you could end up with a gold hand like Jaime. However, it’s open only on Wednesday and Thursday nights through the end of February, so jump on your dragon’s back and head over there before it disappears like a White Walker stabbed by some dragonglass.

A photo posted by The Pop up Geeks (@thepopupgeeks) on Jan 8, 2017 at 12:51pm PST

And obviously while there, answer any and all questions one way: “That’s what I do; I drink and I know things.”

What drink from Game of Thrones would you most like to try? The night is dark and full of liquor, so tell us which one you’d like to enjoy in our comments section below.

Featured Image: HBO

Fan Art Friday #101 – WESTWORLD, GAME OF THRONES, and More Art by Hailey Jensen

An aspect about fan art that appeals to and inspires me to put together a gallery almost every week is seeing an artist reimagine a character I know. I’m absolutely impressed by the work and craft that goes into making photo-realistic likenesses of pop culture figures, but I’m more drawn to pieces that showcase an artist’s distinct vision. I want to look at a character through fresh eyes, and I can do so through Hailey Jensen’s work.

She told me she draws “way too much fan art,” and I count the activity as a positive. The pieces she shared with me show strong and moody depictions of some of the most interesting female characters in current fandoms—characters like Dolores from Westworld.

Dolores (Westworld)

The Dolores painting is Hailey’s second time experimenting with gouache paint. Watch the process in this video:

See a few more kick-ass ladies in the gallery below, including a Lannister and some Starks from Game of Thrones. You’ll also find a Star Wars mural (watch a process video for that one here). You can keep up Hailey’s latest and greatest on DeviantArt and Instagram.

Do you create any sort of fan art? If so, I want to see it. Whether you focus on a specific fandom or pull inspiration from multiple stories and mediums, I’d like to highlight what you do. If you’re interested in being featured in a future edition of Fan Art Friday, get in touch with me at alratcliffe@yahoo.com with examples of your work.

Images: Hailey Jensen

Cosplay Friday #195 – EmBelievable Cosplay Combines Rey with Han Solo and BB-8 with Chewbacca

I do not have the power to resist a clever mash-up, and Emily, a.k.a. EmBelievable Cosplay caught my attention with her creations of Rey Solo and BB-bacca. To sum up, she took Rey and BB-8 from The Force Awakens and squished them together with Han Solo and Chewbacca, respectively. For the droid-Wookiee hybrid, she crafted the rolling carpet from what looks like a beach ball before carefully laying on fur and making a bandolier. The result is kinda magical–I want to hug the stuffing out of BB-bacca.

Rey Solo (The Force Awakens) | Photo by The Will Box

View more of Emily’s costumes in the gallery below. She submitted another Rey for me to share, along with Velma from Scooby-Doo, Ramona Flowers from Scott Pilgrim, and Belle from Beauty and the Beast. You can find more of EmBelievable’s designs and ensembles by following her on Facebook and Instagram.

Do you cosplay or take photographs of cosplayers? Then I want to see your work so we can talk about highlighting what you do in a future Cosplay Friday gallery. If you’re interested, please go ahead and email me at alratcliffe@yahoo.com with hi-res photos you’d like me to feature. Be sure to provide credits for the cosplayers or photographers for each image because giving credit is good manners–bonus points if you include links to relevant Facebook pages or websites. Though I wish I knew all the geek franchises, I don’t, so please let me know who or what is being cosplayed–I can usually figure it out, but I’ll take all the help I can get.

Images: Courtesy of EmBelievable Cosplay

SUPERMAN Goes Old-School With His Newest Costume

Welcome comics fans, to your weekend edition of Comics Relief! In today’s edition, we celebrate the Man of Steel going back to a more classic look after several years of experimenting with his look. Read on for all the details.

Superman goes classic for his new costume

We reported a few weeks back that the current Superman would be learning the truth about himself in the new DC Rebirth world, as well as that of the now-dead New 52 Man of Steel in the upcoming “Superman Reborn” storyline, which begins in Action Comics and Superman in March. As a result of said storyline, Superman will be getting a new costume, the second since Rebirth began.

So how new is it? Actually, it’s the closest to Supe’s classic duds we’ve had since the end of the old DCU in Flashpoint 2011. Although Superman’s Rebirth costume hued closer to his original look than the armor and high collar of the New 52 Kal-El, he still had blue boots and a darker blue color. Now, it’s the entire classic look restored, except for a red belt instead of red underwear. I think I can live with that one change. The full costume premieres on the cover of Superman #20 from artist Patrick Gleason in April. You can see a preview of the cover above. [Comic Book]

John Cassaday draws new Secret Empire teaser

Last week we teased the Marvel’s new event series for 2017, The Secret Empire. All we knew from the image previously released was that Secret Empire would be a Captain America-centric event, one that would probably expose the Hydra agents living in plain sight across the Marvel Universe.

Now, based on their latest teaser, which features not only Cap, but also Old Man Logan, Black Widow, Black Panther, Deadpool, Rocket Raccoon, Captain Marvel, Black Bolt, and Spider-Man, this indicates that this will definitely be a Marvel Universe encompassing event, and not just within the Cap titles. Will Cassaday draw it? Too soon to say. In the meantime, you check out the teaser image above. [Newsarama]

Topps returns to comic book publishing with Garbage Pail Kids

Back in the early ’90s, Topps Trading Cards company ventured into publishing comic books as well (as it seemed everyone did back then) as making titles for Jack Kirby and Frank Miller among others. Now it seems they are dipping their toes into that well once more, as Topps has just announced a new Garbage Pail Kids comic, based on their classic ’80s trading card sensations, called “The Worst Of 2016”, which seems aimed straight at GPK collectors.

The story, by Pat Barrett and Brent Engstrom, is a only 6 pages long, with a cover bringing it up to 8 pages. there are 2 exclusive stickers from GPK characters Grim Jim and Nervous Rex that are also included. The comic humorously waves goodbye to the last year while dreading 2017 at the same time. You can see the cover from the new Garbage Pail Kids comic above. [Bleeding Cool]

Batman and the Flash have Watchmen-centric crossover

The mystery of the Comedian’s bloody pin from Watchmen showing up in the Batcave in DC Universe: Rebirth #1 has been ongoing since April of last year. Now DC Comics has announced that the two greatest detectives in the Justice League, Bruce Wayne and Barry Allen, are teaming up together to solve the Watchmen-centric mystery.

The four-part crossover storyline in April and is called “The Button.” According to DC’s description, “the two greatest detectives in the DC Universe unite to unravel the mystery behind a certain blood-stained smiley face button stuck in the Batcave wall. However, what begins as a simple investigation soon turns deadly when the secrets of the button prove irresistible to an unwelcome third party, and it’s not who anyone suspects. This is a mystery woven throughout time, and the countdown starts here!”

“The Button” will run through Batman #21 & #22 and The Flash #21 & #22. Tom King and artist Jason Fabok will handle the Batman issues, while Joshua Williamson and artist Howard Porter will be the creative team on The Flash‘s contribution to the crossover. Each issue of the crossover will also have “special lenticular covers.” For more on this event, please check out our full story by clicking the following link: [Nerdist]

Aftershock announces new Garth Ennis title

Comics legend Garth Ennis is creating a new title for indie publisher Aftershock Comics, which has just been announced. Called Jimmy’s Bastards, the new title debuts this summer, with an artistic team to be announced soon. You can read After Shock’s full description of the series down below:

Jimmy Regent is Britain’s number one super spy, a devastatingly handsome secret agent with a license to kill and style to match. Sailing effortlessly through mission after mission with wit and panache, defying danger again and again, Jimmy always triumphs and always gets the girl- gets rather a lot of girls, actually. But now a new and particularly dangerous secret organization has arisen, their sights fixed firmly on Jimmy’s head. Two hundred young men and women in ultimate physical condition, trained in all the arts of deception and death, each bearing a curious facial resemblance to… Jimmy? Every one united with one terrible aim: Get Daddy.

New Darth Maul variant coming from the late Michael Turner

The late Michael Turner, creator of Fathom and publisher of Aspen comics, did many, many convention sketches. Now, one of those sketches is becoming a cover for Marvel’s upcoming Darth Maul mini-series. Turner, who passed away from cancer in 2008, didn’t do very much Star Wars-related art, so this is a rare chance to see Turner’s take on one of the characters from the galaxy far, far away.

The Darth Maul #1 exclusive cover will be available for pre-order starting on Saturday, January 14th at noon (PST)/3:00 PM (EST) and will feature a color variant (limited to 3,000 copies) in addition to a special black and white sketch variant (limited to 2,000 copies and available only in the online set). Darth Maul #1 will be released February 1st. [Newsarama]

Monsters Unleashed gets retro variant covers

Marvel Comics announced this week that artist Francesco Francavilla will provide variant covers for all five issues of their upcoming Monsters Unleashed miniseries. Each of the five covers features a different and long-lost giant monster from Marvel’s early, pre-Fantastic Four years, drawn in the style of ’50s monster movie posters. Arriving in stores on January 18, Cullen Bunn’s Monsters Unleashed will also feature an all-star team of artists. You can see the variant covers down below in our gallery. [CBR]

Images: DC Comics / Marvel Comics / Topps / Aftershock Comics / Aspen 

A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS Recap: End of the “Beginning”

I am sorry to tell you, dear reader, that this recap of the A Series of Unfortunate Events episode “A Bad Beginning: Part Two,” has spoilers in the beginning, spoilers at the end, and very few moments of non-spoilage in between. Should you prefer to be surprised, it is suggested that you abscond–which in this case means “navigate away”–from this page, until such time as your constitution is capable of absorbing what ensues.

If you saw the 2004 movie version of A Series of Unfortunate Events, you’ll remember its climactic plot when it resurfaces again here. Unable to wait four years for Violet to turn 18, Olaf conspired to marry her and thereby control her fortune under a legal loophole that allows a child’s guardian (him, in this case) to give permission for her to marry underage. Flattering Justice Strauss’ ego, he would convince her she was just acting in a play when she signed the actual legal document to make it official. Note to real life conspirators: this will probably not hold up in actual courts of the real world. But for a fictional children’s literature universe, it works well enough as a dastardly scheme.

Violet, of course, figured it out in advance, which is why Olaf had to threaten baby Sunny’s life to force her to go through with it. And things worked out a little differently than they did in the film….

The episode kicked off with the distinct coughing of Mr. Poe, and a gradual reveal of his sterile, bluish-white bank office, surrounded by walls of cabinets and a giant safe behind. Pulling all the way forward, the camera revealed Lemony Snicket, who once again apologized for the “alleged entertainment” (good thing the show doesn’t suck, or critics could totally use all his lines as ammunition). Behind him, Poe kept trying to buzz in somebody named Jacqueline, to bring in the Baudelaire file.

Then came a redundant recap of the previous episode, something Lemony fortunately does not make a habit of moving forward, all to take us back to Poe’s office again, prior to many of the events of the last episode, but just after the fire that claimed the parents’ lives (or, ahem, not, if that surprise scene with the parents can be believed). Now we would get to see how exactly the obviously dubious Count Olaf became the legal guardian of the Baudelaires.

“Do you know what the question I’m asked most is?” inquired Olaf, rhetorically.

“Will you please leave the premises?” responded his hook-handed henchman (Usman Ally), without missing a beat. Gold. And Olaf’s snit-ft upon finding none of his minions had brought costumes was hilarious, as was his subsequent deft theft of various items from pedestrian passers by, including a blind man.

Jacqueline the secretary appeared to be having a revealing conversation, hinting that she knew more than one might suspect, but before that could play out, in came Olaf in his brand new guise of…”Yessica Haircut,” a name he improvises based upon the first word he sees and the first word that comes to mind. ACTING! The genius of Neil Patrick Harris‘ Count Olaf is that he’s what NPH might be if he had no talent and grew old and bitter.

Lemony again explained that this scene was a flashback, and TV executives need to get off his back about it. And armed with a spyglass emblazoned with the now-familiar eye logo, Jacqueline sussed out Count Olaf’s entourage, but too late—they kidnapped her and tied her to a tree elsewhere in the city, in a park. Downstairs, “Yessica Haircut” made the dubious case to Poe that “closest living relative” must mean geographically nearest, a pitch poor naive Poe bought immediately. And his naivete continued when the Baudelaires risked everything to come and try to tell him the truth about Count Olaf; he dismissed their concerns as generic ones most kids have about most adults, and played into many a child’s greatest fear–that they aren’t thought of as important and their problems don’t matter. K. Todd Freeman really was deliciously dense here, and his coughing alarmingly convincing.

“I think we need to call the IT guy.” Okay, so this is the present day, I guess. Sort of. The hypothetical IT guy in question would be required to fix a manual typewriter, so…split-difference, time period-wise?

Count Olaf was uncharacteristically nice when the children got back, offering cupcakes, and gliding across a long table as only NPH can. Of course it was a ruse to get them on board with his play, “The Marvelous Marriage,” that would serve as the cover for his actual intended nuptials. And Olaf wound up chewing hard on those cupcakes, almost as heartily as the scenery. Harris’ eating face rules.

The entire plot prompted Lemony to reveal he had never been married, though he had been in love. The plot thickens surrounding his “Beatrice.”

Ohhhh hell no. Did Justice Strauss, after complaining about being single forever, just diss adult men who play with toys? We’re the ones who appreciate smart and talented women the most, your honor! Ah well, my wife knows it even if you don’t.

“You will suddenly find yourself in the enviable position of being a struggling actress in middle age!”

“It’s almost too good to be true.”

LOL. Later, Hook Hands provided Olaf with wedding cake samples, and the Count was severely upset when he heard one was “a little lemony.” Something has to come of this. Aside from the second amazing scene this episode of NPH eating cake.

And then a fun interjection about the difference between “figuratively” and “literally.” As a grammar-happy editor, I applaud Mr. Snicket’s attempts to educate. As a realist, however, I am aware that the battle has been lost.

Meanwhile, Jacqueline uprooted the tree she was tied to, and met a fellow operative named Gustav in the sewers. They mention that the Baudelaires’ actual guardian was supposed to be one Dr. Montgomery, and headed to the theater to try and thwart the wedding/play. And Violet tried to rescue Sunny with a homemade grappling hook, but that didn’t go too well.

Count Olaf modeling a wedding dress, though? That worked out just fine.

Lemony’s apartment, which looks like a serial killer den, even though he seems too depressed to actually be one, turned out to be right across from the theater where the wedding as to happen…but some years too late, of course.

NETFLIX REFERENCE! “As an ac-TOR, I think live theater is a more powerful medium than, say, streaming television.”

Am I a bad person for laughing at the hook-handed man trying to play poker with a baby, and losing? Probably, right?

The wedding was foiled when Violet signed the document with her left hand rather than her right, making her signature not properly and legally “in her hand”–once again, kids, don’t try this in an actual court, but feel free to accept it in a stylized universe. Count Olaf’s treachery was exposed and he escaped, while Jacqueline and Gustav persuaded Poe that Dr. Montgomery was the real intended guardian.

In the future, someone is banging on Lemony’s door, so he departs out the window. Back in Baudelaire time, Jacqueline says she has a lead on the parents, who are alive, and Gustav drowned in a pond when a tranquiliser dart hit him in the neck. And that half-pulled-out book on Strauss’ shelf? The Incomplete History of Secret Organizations.

The final scene showed the parents again, this time in a jail cell, reading about the marriage/play in the newspaper. The eye symbol was carved in the floor, and mom had made a grappling hook, just like Violet.

As the plot thickens, how do you think secret organizations will play into the storyline? Is Olaf not just the ultimate Neil Patrick Harris role? Leave a series of fortunate comments below!

Images: Netflix