Tia Silverthorne Bach's Blog, page 92

One Day Only, Just in Time for the Holidays!

My email box is full of amazing deals and bargains. Subject lines tempting me to buy one more gift at incredible prices. I don't need a new purse or sweater, but maybe I should just click the deal and find out. Right? So savvy.

But today I wanted to pass along a really great holiday treat. Today only, December 20, you can visit Nadja Notariani's An Author's Adventures blog and enter to win a signed copy of our novel, Depression Cookies . Our book is the Day 11 feature of the 12 Days of Christmas Reading List promotion. Leave a comment and you are entered. It's that simple.

If you already have a copy of our book, please feel free to enter for a gift copy. I'm sure there's a mother or daughter in your life who would enjoy the book.

About Depression Cookies:



2011 Readers Favorite Book Awards, Silver for Realistic Fiction & Finalist Chick Lit2011 Next Generation Indie Book Awards, Finalist Chick Lit
Depression Cookies is a coming of age story woven around the heart of family triumph. It is told from two distinct vantage points, middle-aged mother, Abby, and her teenage daughter, Krista.

Abby is buckling under the weight of a husband who is climbing the corporate ladder, three daughters each with their own unique needs, a mother who is going off the deep end and family health issues. As she is meeting everyone else's needs, her own keep surfacing. She feels she is losing parts of herself daily and doesn't know how to handle the stress and conflict. All she truly wants is a little magic in her life.

Krista is thirteen, battling acne and low self-esteem, when her father waltzes in and announces the family is moving again. Instead of letting fear and anxiety rule her life, she is determined to survive the trenches of teenage cruelty and family issues without completely losing herself in the process.

*****
Good luck. Mom and I wish you and yours the best this holiday season and into the new year!

Gifts: Waiting and Willpower Not my Strong Suit

I'm a kid at heart, and nothing brings that out in me as much as the holidays. I don't like surprises and have no willpower, so it should not come as a shock that waiting until Christmas day to open presents is difficult for me.

This has only become worse as an adult. I know, I'm supposed to be more mature. Problem with getting older . . . I have gained the knowledge necessary to justify my impatient actions. Each time I was pregnant, I was chomping at the bit to know the sex of my baby. My husband could have waited until the birth, but not me. I had to know. It was still a surprise, just a quicker one.

My family has learned not to send my Christmas gifts early. Instead of just shaking the package or ripping a small corner to figure out my gift, sometimes I'll just open it. I'm an adult. Who says I have to wait until Christmas or my birthday? It makes my family crazy, so they cut it so close with my presents now that sometimes they are late.

Don't worry. I don't let my kids peek. But I do peek at gifts people send my kids. I don't know why. It's a bit of a sickness.

For our 15th wedding anniversary, my husband wanted to surprise me with a trip. After I asked a zillion questions, he finally told me. It was a wonderful trip to Costa Rica, made no less special because I knew in advance.

My sister, Dana, even holds birthday cards to open on her birthday. Forget it. I'd walk by those cards a couple of times and it'd be all over. So I just open them as they come in. This way I spread the pleasure over several days.

Do you like surprises? Does it bother you to have gifts sitting around for weeks? For the moms out there, did you find out the sex of your baby before delivery?

Please tell me I'm not the only grown woman who can't bear to wait for fun stuff!

Tis the Season: ROW 80 Check In

Tis the season to make lists, check them twice, try to figure out who's been naughty and nice, decorate the house, wrap the presents, make many sweets, and spend time with family. What it has clearly NOT been the season for . . . getting writing done.

I have good intentions and lofty ambitions. Maybe it's all the sparkling lights around me. I'm just too easily distracted. My parents came in this week to celebrate an early Christmas and my dad's 62nd birthday. If you missed yesterday's post from him, please check it out here. He passes on some wonderful wisdom.

I wrote posts ahead of their visit and edited once everyone went to bed and into the wee hours of the morning. But I did all of this so I could enjoy my family time. Mom and Dad left this morning, after we made many wonderful memories and way too many sweets. Today was going to be my catch up day.

Someone please remind me weekly . . . I should never bank on Sundays for catching up, because clearly my children have the same plan. Today, I helped catch up my sixth grader on unknown equations, my fourth grader on a surprise teepee building expedition ("I forgot" is how that started), and my first grader with the three books she needed to read. By the time all of this catching up was done, good old Mom was left sitting at her computer at 8:30pm writing this post.


Guess who is catching up tomorrow, and Tuesday, and Wednesday, and . . .

*****
So, really this is my ROW80 update. Little else to say. I did finish the initial edit of my nonfiction editing job. It was a huge challenge, but I'm happy with my work. It is now back in the author's hand. Now I need to turn my attention to two other editing jobs and my own writing.

Reading was pathetic this week. I didn't even get around to many ROW80 updates. Something I'm going to remedy tonight. This Wednesday, the last ROW80 check in for this year!, I'm going to respond to all the linkys. I like to do that at the end of each round. I did post daily here, but only due to sheer determination and my NaBloPoMo commitment. Mom in Love with Fiction only saw two posts this week.

Exercise and sugar . . . dare I even mention those? Mom made Oreo truffles, cake, Ritz crackers covered in chocolate, chocolate dipped pretzels, and I made sugar cookies for neighbors. Let's just say I licked my fingers way too much. I'll get back on the wagon this week, and then fall off Christmas Eve and Christmas day.

I hope my ROW80 writer friends have been able to look past the sugar and twinkling lights better than I have. I still have until Wednesday to show some progress . . . that's my goal. Some editing and writing progress. It's vague, but it is year-end.

Watch out for me in Round 1 2012. I plan to start strong out of the gate and sprint to the finish!

Triple Whammy Gifting: Guest Post by My Dad, Dallas Silverthorne

Today is my Dad's 62nd birthday. To celebrate the occasion, I asked him to write a blog post about his most memorable gift. I know, I'm a sweet daughter... what can I say?

Enjoy!
*****
Tia asked me if I'd send her a blog post based on what Ithought was one of the many gifts I had ever received that stood out asimpressionable. Admittedly, she had to explain what a blog post was. But Iagreed.
The list was numerous, from childhood memories of simple,country Christmases, where my favorite gift was contained in a penny candy bagfilled with nuts, an orange, an apple, and two chocolate covered cherries; tocountless ones spent with my daughters.
But I decided to write the one I felt has impacted my wife,children and me more than any other.
For months, I had beendreading my 50th birthday. 50? And on top of it, my daughter hadjust announced I was going to be a grandfather. Grandfather? What happened tothe debonair young man who could fly a Frisbee halfway across a football fieldand do kip-ups to impress his adoring daughters? Gray hairs were sprouting. Iwas falling asleep at the drop of a hat . . . no, before the hat fell! What washappening to me?
Two weeks before that dreaded day, I had a physical. I leftmore dejected. High cholesterol. Zocor prescription in hand. I jumped into myred corvette and stomped on the gas petal, spinning clear of the doctor'soffice. Heading back to work, I vowed I would get to my 50th, tellinganyone who would listen that I had gone 50 years without meds. I would remainin control as long as possible.
On the Friday before my birthday, my wife and youngestdaughter announced they were taking me to dinner. Frankly, I wanted to go home,settle in my easy chair and be alone. But how do you tell two excited womenthat you wish they'd go alone? So I went.
They took me to a nice restaurant. It was way too crowded.Too many people dropped by with greetings. A lot of them worked for me, so I feignedwarm greetings. Couldn't they all see the sign on my forehead, "Middle agedcrisis brewing! Beware!"
Halfway through dinner, I happened to look across the roomand almost fell out of my chair. It was my two brothers and their wives.  My head couldn't spin fast enough. I lookeddead-on at my wife. "Tell me you haven't planned anything for my birthday."
From their adoring, excited looks I knew something wascoming. And for one moment, I was furious. I felt deceived. Hadn't I told themnot to do this? Before I could chew into them, I saw my family moving my way,smiling broadly.
Everything I had been feeling brewed sour. The next day, thedoorbell kept ringing. One daughter arrived from New York. The other from Chicago. My brothers called and asked me tomeet them for lunch. I wanted to run, but instead, I acquiesced and went.
Finally my wife confessed there would be a small gathering.Small?  By 7pm, 125 guests had arrived.Despite how I was feeling, the evening proved wonderful. The roasting was kind,and I poured my humor out in rare form.
Afterwards, I realized how special the celebration had been:1. Turning 50 didn't hurt. In fact it was a blessing of lovethat still humbles me.
2. GE stock split 3 for 1, first time in my 27 yearemployment.
3. I made it to 50 without taking one ongoing medication.

Looking back, I realized that was a pivotal time, not just ahalf century birthday. It reminded me:1. Life is short.
Dad and his first grand-daughter, Jackie2. A grandchild was on the way. My legacy would go on.
3. The added stock value beefed up my savings to finalize mydream. Retirement.

And for the first time in my life, I embraced the fact thatI had:1. Missed the mark—leading an unbalanced life.
2. Missed out—not being available for precious moments.
3. Missed life—no time for anything beyond 7 to 7 work days.

More than anything in my life, I wanted to:1. Spend more time with God.
2. Enjoy my family.
3. Give to others.

So in the end, and reflecting back today, I realize that my 50th birthday began a new venture in my life. A new beginning. A lot of blessings.One of the biggest gifts I've ever received. A triple whammy multiplied manytimes over because I've been present in love rather than being absent in guilt.

*****
As you age, what is your greatest gift?

The Gift of Yummy

Earlier this month I shared my great-grandmother's amazing banana bread recipe. Today, I want to share another yummy recipe from my mother, a 16 layer cake.

I've yet to try this recipe without Mom around, because it requires both skill and patience. When it comes to cooking, I'm a devoted recipe follower. I measure and re-measure, check and recheck. My mom is a "throw it in" lady. Sometimes trying to get a recipe out of her is madness. I have to watch, take careful notes, and try to ascertain what a "dollop" is.

This cake is delicious, gorgeous, and most importantly... equal parts cake and icing. Once you try it, you won't go back to regular cake. It's addictive.



Mom has gotten as many as 16 layers. I feel happy to get 12 to 13. My family is evenly split between chocolate and vanilla lovers, so we always have what I affectionately call the Jekyll and Hyde version to make everyone happy.

Since I've only made this with Mom, it's as much about the memories as the cake.

16 layer Cake
Preheat over to 375 degrees

Duncan Hines Butter Recipe Cake Mix
6 large eggs
1 cup sour cream
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup sugar

Mix all ingredients until well blended. Grease and flour cake pans. Use only enough batter, about 1/4 cup, to spread across pan. It will barely cover it!

Bake cake layers approximately 3 minutes. You want them to be shiny and not brown around the edges. Invert layers immediately onto wax paper. Continue baking layers until batter is used. you should get 14-16 layers from one box of cake mix.

Place cake layer on plate and spread approximately 1 tbsp of icing on a layer (you want it to be a thin coating), keep repeating until last layer is used. Use rest of icing to ice the sides and top of the cake.

Bonus: Mom's Icing
1 stick butter, melted
1/2 cup cocoa, sifted
1 box confectionery sugar, sifted
6 tbsp milk (scant more if icing becomes too dry)
sprinkle of salt
1 tsp vanilla extract

Mix in a glass bowl and microwave for two minutes. Stir.

If too thick, thin it with a bit more milk. Mom usually uses two batches of this icing recipe to ice her cake. I use store bought icing, so I'm fine. ;-)

Enjoy! Happy Holidays!

Smurfette and a Gold Frame

"Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed." Alexander Pope
At first this quote seems depressing. Who wants to go through life expecting nothing? After all, it's the Christmas season. I spend months in preparation just so December 25 is full of special memories and happy children and family. And, to quote Shakespeare, therein lies the rub.

I build up the holidays and birthdays so much in my mind, I'm often left with a lingering sense of disappointment. It's slight, but nagging. My children constantly hand me altered and re-prioritized lists, and I run around trying to make them happy. I send out 150 Christmas cards, bake cookies for neighbors, and give gifts to everyone from the mailman to the office staff at school.

One of my dearest friends shocked me in college... her parents didn't make a big deal out of birthdays. What? I was floored. Not make a big deal out of birthdays. I'd never heard of such a thing. But she always seemed happy on her birthday anyway. To this day, I try to do special things for her birthday.

I'll never forget one of my birthdays. We had just relocated to Wilmington, NC. As usual, we moved during the summer close to my August birthday. I remember sitting on some boxes opening gifts. Later that night, I cried in my room. My presents: a Smurfette and a gold frame. Mom consoled me, and reminded me I had asked for both of them.

For years, I used the Smurfette and gold frame as a tale of parents being out of touch and not caring about their teenager. Later it become a running joke in our family. Any bad gift was compared to my teenage travesty.

Now, as a mother myself, I realize my poor mom was in the middle of yet another move and probably went out of her way to find two of the items I had mentioned. In her stress and chaos, did she mistake a one-time statement about liking Smurfette as a gift request? Maybe. But now the Smurfette and gold frame no longer represent a bad gift. They represent a mom who loved me and was trying her best.

In the spirit of the perfect Christmas or birthday, I often create high expectations for my children and myself. Expectations none of us can live up to. It's virtually impossible to expect nothing from big events, but I am learning to downplay the idea of perfection and highlight the fun in trying my best.

Just the other day, we made a batch of cookies. They came out looking pathetic and flat, more like cookie pancakes. We laughed it off, got out every color sprinkle we could fun, beautified those babies, and ate them. Each of my girls said they were the best cookies ever. Were they? No, but the laughter sure did make them sweeter.

Wishing everyone a beautifully messy holiday, full of endearing mistakes and memories!
Funny aside: Sure enough my middle daughter asked for a Smurfette and frame for her birthday, so the picture is from her set. I got quite the chuckle out of buying it for her!

Better to Give or Receive: ROW80 Check In

Yesterday, BlogHer's NaBloPoMo asked:

Which do you enjoy more: receiving or giving?
Each time I give a gift, I receive a special reward. I receive that warm, fuzzy feeling of making someone happy. When I receive a gift, I give thanks. The two go hand in hand.

I won't lie. I love the anticipation of opening a package. Your senses take in all the data first. Package size, weight, who it's from. Then there's the shake test. Does something rattle? Sometimes the anticipation is as much or more fun than the gift itself.

On the flip side, the giver gets to enjoy someone opening a special gift. I appreciate when people call me to thank me for gifts received, but it's not the same as watching someone open a present. I really should get my children to open presents on Skype for our friends and family who can't be with us on Christmas.

The most special gift I've ever received (and I received it three times) required a lot of giving on my part. I've never anticipated a gift more than the births of my three beautiful daughters. Admittedly, the receiving was more enjoyable than the giving. Still, as soon as the doctor put my daughter in my arms, the labor was washed away. Or, maybe just dulled. When my preteen daughter gives me flak, I can remember the labor pretty intensely.

As an avid reader and writer, I love reading books as much as I love writing books. It's the same concept. With a book, the anticipation is examining the cover and reading the back summary. The story is a gift from the author. I equally enjoy being on the receiving and gifting end of books. Hearing a reader loved my book is as big a thrill as someone enjoying the sweater I gave them. And a handmade sweater at that.

What's more fun... watching people open gifts from you or opening your own gifts?
*****
A Round of Words in 80 Days Update

First of all, I'm truly grateful for the gift of ROW80. I am a better writer with all of your support and guidance.
Writing: More like brainstorming. Some writing (1,500 words), but more hours (5 hours). Switching between projects is still proving daunting for me. Hoping to get the hang of it soon. One novel is about to get to the meaty parts, so I think that's be easier. Two books in the beginning stages is draining.

Blogging: I'm having fun with blogging. Posting daily here and averaging at least three times a week on Mom in Love with Fiction.

Miscellaneous: There are so many great blogs and so little time. Still, I try to keep up. I'm looking forward to some down time over the holidays (I'm going to pretend I didn't hear sarcastic laughter. There has to be some down time coming soon!), and catching up.

Exercise: Much better. I actually ran one of my three miles yesterday while talking on the phone with my sister. I was pretty proud of my multitasking, until my breathing got a little heavier. All of the sudden my sister starts laughing and says, "Oh my God. Are you running?"

With the craziness of year-end and the season, how are my writer friends holding up?

The Gift of a Good Book: Shades of Gray, Alan Holloman

Today I'm passing on the gift of a good book and a great deal. As a mom, this book was particularly haunting, because it made me consider how far I would go for one of my children. It's a strong and believable motivator.

I hope you enjoy the review and book event information.

Happy Holidays!
*****
From Amazon:  How far would you go to save yourchild's life? Could you break the law? What if your travel business wassuddenly in danger of going under because of 9/11? A single father decides topartner up with woman from the opposite side of the tracks. Can theirpartnership deliver the cash they BOTH desperately need? Could they fall inlove? And will they survive to see the Summer of 2002?
Shades of Gray, the debut novel from Andy Holloman, examines the depths of a father'slove and the ramifications of desperate choices. John Manning and his daughter,Lucy, are driving home from a nice evening out when their car's brakesmalfunction. What initially seems like bad luck turns into a much darker story.
John hasn't had it easy.When his wife leaves, his whole world revolves around Lucy. His successfulbusiness, a travel agency, is hit hard by the events of September 11, 2001. Then,he finds out his daughter has a rare kidney disease and will need a kidneytransplant.
Desperation and feardrive John to extreme limits to save his daughter, especially after a fatefulmeeting with a former client, Wanda. Wanda loves her daughter and has found away out of her own personal hell, a way paved with good intentions but criminalactions.
Every action draws thepair deeper into an intricate web of deceit and danger. The reader is compelledto turn each page, but not just to find out what happens next. There's also anemotional connection to the characters. The twists and turns lead to anunexpected and heartbreaking conclusion.

Shades of a Gray is a must read for anyone who enjoys a captivating thrill ride withemotional investment.
Fun note: I'm from NorthCarolina, so I thoroughly enjoyed the North Carolina references throughout.
Rating: A very enthusiastic 5 stars.
For more information,please visit the author'swebsite.
Disclaimer: I received this novel as an ARC inexchange for an honest review. A good review was not guaranteed or asked for.My opinions are my own.
*****
What's even better than a5-star book? A 5-star book for 99 cents. December 13 through December 15, theWoMen's Literary Café is hosting a Mystery & Christian Fiction Book Launch and 99 Cent Book Eventfeaturing this novel and many others.  

For more information, pleaseclick the picture below.

My Mind: The Gift I Lost

Today's NaBloPoMo prompt: What gift do you regret losing?

My mind. What a wonderful gift each of us is given. Yet, I lost mine. I know I had it before the first child, but my job was hiding it from me on occasion. By the second child, 20 months after the first, I was losing it for days at a time but usually found it before much damage was done.

My third child was born in April 2005. Three weeks later, my oldest child turned five. I'm pretty sure I still had my wits about me then. The rest is a fog. A fog of happiness, sleep deprivation, limited shower time, way too much McDonalds, liquids I don't care to ever experience again, etc.

Funny, I thought if I survived the crazy baby years I'd find my mind again. I'm constantly putting things in the spot that seems most logical at the time. Later, after lots of searching, I find it and remember my reasoning for placing it there. Surely, the same would be true of my mind.

Slight problem. Parenting only gets harder. Anything worth doing, and I truly believe this, is worth doing well. Same is true for parenting. In some ways, my children's needs have become more manageable. In other ways, my role has become harder. The mistakes I make are more glaring. They are old enough to see what I do, and not just do what I say. Darn it. It's so much easier to know what other people should be doing than yourself.

But, maybe it's all good. If I had too much of my mind firmly in place, I might be in a constant state of panic and terror. That wouldn't help anyone. Or, maybe I lost my pre-kid mind. The one that could only handle one task at a time and needed peace and quiet to do that. My new mind is one that functions even when pushed beyond all reason and sanity. One that deals with the person on the phone while pouring drinks and checking homework.

Still, if you find a mind that isn't yours, please let me know. It might be mine.

*****
Don't forget to visit the 12 Days of Christmas Reading Gift List. Today is Day 3. Find out more about today's giveaway, Open Me by Reina Stone, here.

Left and Right Distractions: ROW80 Check In

I think my work has to dowith a sense that we are attempting, all the time, to create a logical,rational path through the day. To the left and right there are an amazing setof distractions that we usually can't afford to follow. But the poet is will tostop anywhere . . . And it's that willingness to slow down and examine themysterious bits of fluff in our lives that is the poet's interest. WilliamCollins

Distractions can be fun,and the fun ones do make me a better person as well as a better writer. It'sthe other distractions that overload my brain and put a stranglehold on mycreativity.

Decorating the Christmastree, watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and making cookies for mydaughters cookie swim meet are the wonderful distractions. I enjoyed each one,and never thought for a moment that I should be anywhere else.

The evil dust bunnieshiding in all areas of my house, laundry that comes keep coming back like a baddream, and monitoring homework for three kids are the distractions I could do without. And that's just the tip of theiceberg. Seriously, I do much more homework now than I ever did when I wasactually in school.

My older girls have hadseveral papers due lately, and they know Mom's a sucker for taking their sweetthoughts and making them purr. I don't rewrite them, but I show them the way…little Mommy nudges in the right direction.

As the craziness of theholidays intensifies, the distractions will only get more and more tempting. Ihave no intention of turning away from the special moments, memories and familyare too important. But I might have to let some dust bunnies live to seeanother day.

*****ROW80 update

Writing: The distractions have simply beentoo great. Plus, I have some end of year editing deadlines I need to meet. WhenI wear my editing hat too much, I find it hard to write because I edit thewhole time I'm writing. It doesn't flow, constantly stunted by my need to fixit. My goal this week is to write a chapter on our Depression Cookies follow up. Just one chapter. I'm challenging myself to write until it's done without one single edit.

Blogging: I'm so enjoying writing about gifts, this month's NaBloPoMo theme. It'sa nice reminder what this time of year is really about. And I have two reviewsfor Mom in Love with Fiction coming up. One 4 star and one 5 star. Not a badreading week.

Miscellaneous: Editing is going well and leading tomore freelance jobs. I've been wanting to get into this for years, so it'sexciting. Now I'm really considering looking into a MFA in Creative Writingprogram. Thoughts?

Exercise: Doing great. I'm hoping if I keep itamped up, I can indulge a bit over the holidays.

*****

Don't forget... from December 10 through December 22, fellow ROW80-ers J.R. Pearse Nelson and Nadja Notariani are hosting the 12 Days of Christmas Reading Gift List onher blog, An Author's Adventures. A new title will be featured each day, so be sureto visit all twelve days.

Our novel, Depression Cookies , will be the featured book giveaway on December 20th.