Tia Silverthorne Bach's Blog, page 88
January 28, 2012
A Month of Letters Challenge
When I was a kid, my sisters and I fought over running to the mailbox. Whoever got there first was privy to the contents and could hand out the letters and look at the magazines and catalogues first. My kids don't run, to them it is a chore.
Few people send letters anymore. The only time my kids run to the mailbox is the few days before and after their birthdays. They can't wait to see who sends a card or a present. My mother is great about sending them mail for every occasion and sometimes out of the blue. Their faces always light up when they receive something just for them.
When I was a kid, I had pen pals assigned through school and Girl Scouts. It was so fun to find out about someone through letters. Sadly, it's a dying art.
I still love to get a letter, but it happens less and less. In the last few years, I've even noticed fewer people send Christmas cards. It's a shame. There's something so personal about a letter and knowing someone took the time to think of you. An email is just not the same.
So, when I heard about the A Month of Letters Challenge, I knew I had to participate. The rules are simple:
* In the month of February, mail at least one item through the post every day it runs. Write a postcard, a letter, send a picture, or a cutting from a newspaper, or a fabric swatch.
* Write back to everyone who writes to you. This can count as one of your mailed items.
I hope you'll consider joining me. And if you love letters as much as I do, please leave a comment with a way to contact you and we'll exchange addresses. Who knows what we might discover about one another. Do you love to get a letter? When is the last time you got one unexpectedly?
Few people send letters anymore. The only time my kids run to the mailbox is the few days before and after their birthdays. They can't wait to see who sends a card or a present. My mother is great about sending them mail for every occasion and sometimes out of the blue. Their faces always light up when they receive something just for them.
When I was a kid, I had pen pals assigned through school and Girl Scouts. It was so fun to find out about someone through letters. Sadly, it's a dying art.
I still love to get a letter, but it happens less and less. In the last few years, I've even noticed fewer people send Christmas cards. It's a shame. There's something so personal about a letter and knowing someone took the time to think of you. An email is just not the same.
So, when I heard about the A Month of Letters Challenge, I knew I had to participate. The rules are simple:
* In the month of February, mail at least one item through the post every day it runs. Write a postcard, a letter, send a picture, or a cutting from a newspaper, or a fabric swatch.
* Write back to everyone who writes to you. This can count as one of your mailed items.
I hope you'll consider joining me. And if you love letters as much as I do, please leave a comment with a way to contact you and we'll exchange addresses. Who knows what we might discover about one another. Do you love to get a letter? When is the last time you got one unexpectedly?
January 27, 2012
Free EBook Fridays: WoMen's Literary Cafe
What could be better than free eBooks? How about free eBooks every Friday?
Simply join WoMen's Literary Cafe, and each Friday you will be treated to a couple of free eBooks. The kicker... you will also be joining an amazing group of readers and authors. And don't worry my male writer friends, it is a site for men and women.
The site's founder is Melissa Foster, author of several bestsellers including Come Back to Me which I recently featured here. She is not only a talented author, but she is committed to sharing her knowledge with the writing and reading communities.
If you click on the banner above, it will take you directly to the Free eBook page. But remember, you need to become a member.
Make sure and check the site often. There's always something interesting going on over there, whether you are a writer or reader... or like me, BOTH.
Happy eBook Friday!
Note: A little birdie told me the site will be changing it's name soon to clear up any misconceptions about men joining. But it'll still be the same great site!
Simply join WoMen's Literary Cafe, and each Friday you will be treated to a couple of free eBooks. The kicker... you will also be joining an amazing group of readers and authors. And don't worry my male writer friends, it is a site for men and women.
The site's founder is Melissa Foster, author of several bestsellers including Come Back to Me which I recently featured here. She is not only a talented author, but she is committed to sharing her knowledge with the writing and reading communities.
If you click on the banner above, it will take you directly to the Free eBook page. But remember, you need to become a member.
Make sure and check the site often. There's always something interesting going on over there, whether you are a writer or reader... or like me, BOTH.
Happy eBook Friday!
Note: A little birdie told me the site will be changing it's name soon to clear up any misconceptions about men joining. But it'll still be the same great site!
January 26, 2012
You Had Me at Goodbye: Movies I Should Have Quit
So far this month I have not used any of the BlogHer NaBloPoMo prompts because my brain has been overflowing with post ideas. Today, I jumped over to take a look and had to answer this one: What movies have you turned off in the middle, and why?
Previously, I've discussed the three books I put down without finishing: Books I Quit and Why. Only three to date. But I'm much more willing to quit a movie than a book.
Why? First of all, my commitment to a movie is less. I haven't spent hours reading and trying to identify. I'm not someone who can put a book down in the first 50 pages... the three books I quit, I was halfway through.
Second, I don't need to turn off a movie. My body turns off on its own. I've rarely gotten off the couch, gone to the DVD, and physically turned off a movie. I simply fall asleep from lack of interest. However, if it's a horrible TV movie and it's on a Saturday afternoon, I have no qualms about grabbing the clicker and finding something else. The choices are too vast to stick with a movie that's not catching my fancy.
But, no matter how bad the train wreck, I will watch theater movies until the very end. I have never walked out of a theater before a movie ended. If I paid my nearly $10, I'm staying. I'm hoping it gets better, or at the very least, I'm enjoying my $10 popcorn until the very last kernel.
The movies I WISH I would have walked out on (and my reasons might surprise you):
Legends of the Fall - Could a writer try and top the level of depression in this movie? It was brutal, yet I couldn't look away. I don't care how beautiful the actors and scenery were, I wish I didn't have that movie in my head. Scene after scene of watching characters find new sources of misery.
New Year's Eve - I wanted light, I usually do. A sweet movie about love and starting a new year. This was one of the rare movie watching experiences where the writer in me took over. I spent two hours rewriting the script in my head: if only this couple was written out, that couple was beefed up, this storyline was trashed, this actor was replaced. On and on. I wanted to leave there and write a romantic comedy. One that was smart and engaging. I didn't, but I sure as hell wanted to.
Get Him to the Greek - First of all, I find Russell Brand less and less attractive every time I see him. But, I don't need to be attracted to an actor to enjoy a movie. Actually, a well-told story can make a previously unattractive actor quite charming. Alas, this was not a well-told story. It seemed like a one-liner that some idiot movie executive turned into an entire movie. It was not funny, instead it was offensive and off-putting. I'm fine if you offend me and make me laugh (hello, South Park), but not if you are just offensive.
Shutter Island - I blame my sister. I don't like stuff like this. I go to the movies to be entertained, not to have nightmares for a week. To this day, I cannot shake the image of those children in the water. I could tell in the first 30 minutes that I should have left. Actually, I should have never walked into the theater in the first place.
There are more, but these are the ones that pushed to the front of my brain. Funny, I can take disturbing and deep in a book any day. Prefer it, in fact. But I can protect myself by creating my own images. I can't do that with a movie. The producer, director, movie executive, and actor/actresses have taken that power away from me.
I think that's why I don't like a lot of books turned into movies. My own version is special, and the movies don't usually live up to it. But that's subjective. I could be wrong. (Don't tell my husband I said that!).
What movie did you quit recently? And why?
Previously, I've discussed the three books I put down without finishing: Books I Quit and Why. Only three to date. But I'm much more willing to quit a movie than a book.
Why? First of all, my commitment to a movie is less. I haven't spent hours reading and trying to identify. I'm not someone who can put a book down in the first 50 pages... the three books I quit, I was halfway through.
Second, I don't need to turn off a movie. My body turns off on its own. I've rarely gotten off the couch, gone to the DVD, and physically turned off a movie. I simply fall asleep from lack of interest. However, if it's a horrible TV movie and it's on a Saturday afternoon, I have no qualms about grabbing the clicker and finding something else. The choices are too vast to stick with a movie that's not catching my fancy.
But, no matter how bad the train wreck, I will watch theater movies until the very end. I have never walked out of a theater before a movie ended. If I paid my nearly $10, I'm staying. I'm hoping it gets better, or at the very least, I'm enjoying my $10 popcorn until the very last kernel.The movies I WISH I would have walked out on (and my reasons might surprise you):
Legends of the Fall - Could a writer try and top the level of depression in this movie? It was brutal, yet I couldn't look away. I don't care how beautiful the actors and scenery were, I wish I didn't have that movie in my head. Scene after scene of watching characters find new sources of misery.
New Year's Eve - I wanted light, I usually do. A sweet movie about love and starting a new year. This was one of the rare movie watching experiences where the writer in me took over. I spent two hours rewriting the script in my head: if only this couple was written out, that couple was beefed up, this storyline was trashed, this actor was replaced. On and on. I wanted to leave there and write a romantic comedy. One that was smart and engaging. I didn't, but I sure as hell wanted to.
Get Him to the Greek - First of all, I find Russell Brand less and less attractive every time I see him. But, I don't need to be attracted to an actor to enjoy a movie. Actually, a well-told story can make a previously unattractive actor quite charming. Alas, this was not a well-told story. It seemed like a one-liner that some idiot movie executive turned into an entire movie. It was not funny, instead it was offensive and off-putting. I'm fine if you offend me and make me laugh (hello, South Park), but not if you are just offensive.
Shutter Island - I blame my sister. I don't like stuff like this. I go to the movies to be entertained, not to have nightmares for a week. To this day, I cannot shake the image of those children in the water. I could tell in the first 30 minutes that I should have left. Actually, I should have never walked into the theater in the first place.
There are more, but these are the ones that pushed to the front of my brain. Funny, I can take disturbing and deep in a book any day. Prefer it, in fact. But I can protect myself by creating my own images. I can't do that with a movie. The producer, director, movie executive, and actor/actresses have taken that power away from me.
I think that's why I don't like a lot of books turned into movies. My own version is special, and the movies don't usually live up to it. But that's subjective. I could be wrong. (Don't tell my husband I said that!).
What movie did you quit recently? And why?
January 25, 2012
Making Better Choices: ROW80 Check In
"Using the power of decision gives you the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every part of your life in an instant." Anthony Robbins
ROW80 Update
Writing: Have you joined a #ROW80 wordsprint? If not, try it out on Twitter. Weekdays starting at 2pm EST, ROW80 participants gather to write for a solid hour. Yesterday, I joined in late (2:40pm) and still managed to write 325 words, bringing my Sunday through Wednesday total wordcount to 1,436. Still below my 500 words a day goal, but I didn't write at all on Monday because my kids were home from school.
Blogging: Daily here and one post since Sunday on Mom in Love with Fiction. I love blogging and keeping the creative writing juices flowing, but I'm finding daily blogging stressful. I'm not one to shy away from a challenge, and I accepted two in January requiring daily posts.
In February, I'm going to give myself permission to post 4 times a week here. It's a less stressful goal for me, and I'm working on the Art of No per yesterday's post. A huge thanks to Charlie Damonsing who commented on my No post: When you say "No" to something you are saying "Yes" to something else. Amen! I may be saying No to daily blogging, but it's only because I want to say Yes to writing more on my WIP.
Reading: Finally back to it! I'm shooting for reading 50 pages a night until Sunday to see if it works to have a specific reading goal.
Editing: Behind on several projects, but it's my own fault. I set unrealistic expectations of myself. You know you are over-reaching when even the client is suggesting pushing deadlines off. Note to self: it's better to give realistic deadlines than to think you are impressing someone by giving a hurried date.
Exercise: Nothing Sunday, Zumba (with my six-year-old, too cute!) on Monday, and 3.5 miles yesterday. Not too bad. Finally reached my goal weight. Now comes the task of maintaining and not letting bad habits creep back in.
How's everyone doing with their goals so far?
If you haven't read Gene Lempp's ROW80 post this week, Harvesting Our Creative Potential, please do. It's a great reminder that forward progress is the goal. We, as writers, need to define what that means. It's not always about how many words we've logged in a week.
ROW80 Update
Writing: Have you joined a #ROW80 wordsprint? If not, try it out on Twitter. Weekdays starting at 2pm EST, ROW80 participants gather to write for a solid hour. Yesterday, I joined in late (2:40pm) and still managed to write 325 words, bringing my Sunday through Wednesday total wordcount to 1,436. Still below my 500 words a day goal, but I didn't write at all on Monday because my kids were home from school.
Blogging: Daily here and one post since Sunday on Mom in Love with Fiction. I love blogging and keeping the creative writing juices flowing, but I'm finding daily blogging stressful. I'm not one to shy away from a challenge, and I accepted two in January requiring daily posts.
In February, I'm going to give myself permission to post 4 times a week here. It's a less stressful goal for me, and I'm working on the Art of No per yesterday's post. A huge thanks to Charlie Damonsing who commented on my No post: When you say "No" to something you are saying "Yes" to something else. Amen! I may be saying No to daily blogging, but it's only because I want to say Yes to writing more on my WIP.
Reading: Finally back to it! I'm shooting for reading 50 pages a night until Sunday to see if it works to have a specific reading goal.
Editing: Behind on several projects, but it's my own fault. I set unrealistic expectations of myself. You know you are over-reaching when even the client is suggesting pushing deadlines off. Note to self: it's better to give realistic deadlines than to think you are impressing someone by giving a hurried date.
Exercise: Nothing Sunday, Zumba (with my six-year-old, too cute!) on Monday, and 3.5 miles yesterday. Not too bad. Finally reached my goal weight. Now comes the task of maintaining and not letting bad habits creep back in.
How's everyone doing with their goals so far?
If you haven't read Gene Lempp's ROW80 post this week, Harvesting Our Creative Potential, please do. It's a great reminder that forward progress is the goal. We, as writers, need to define what that means. It's not always about how many words we've logged in a week.
January 24, 2012
The Art of No
The economy has touched so many people's lives. Many families have been forced to make hard decisions. Many moms have gone back to work to help out. In our school, volunteer positions are not getting filled.
My life is full of many blessings, one of which is working from home. My husband shoulders the responsibility of our financial well being. Although I'm constantly busy, I feel guilty. Guilty that I don't have to juggle a full time job and children.
That guilt propels me to say Yes, to try and make up for all the missing volunteers at school and to ease my own guilt for being luckier than others. I also want my children to get a top notch education, and part of that falls on me.
The other day I complained out loud, "Why can't I ever say No?" My middle daughter overheard me. Not one to hold back her opinion, she said, "Just pretend everyone else is one of your kids. You say No to us all the time."
"Come on, I don't say No all the time," I said, emphasis on all.
"Yes, you do," she replied. I should have noticed the evil gleam in her eye as she continued, "Can we stop and have McDonald's after swim practice?"
Little pistol had me over a barrel. She knew I had chili in the crock pot at home, but I wasn't going down without a fight. "Yes," I said. Ha, ha. Take that.
www.wigflip.comShe smiled. After swim, I bought McDonald's for the girls. Even though my daughter was just playing me, she taught me a lesson. My dinner was put off a night, and I spent unnecessary money buying food I didn't need. All because I said yes. I didn't take the time to think about how that yes would affect my evening.
There is a lot of power in two simple words: yes or no. I need to use one of my favorite parenting stall techniques on adults. The next time someone asks me to volunteer or give of myself, I should say, "We'll see." Then go home and weigh my options, see how my answer will truly affect me (and my family).
I wonder if that phrase will upset adults as much as it always does my children!
What are your best techniques for not overcommitting?
My life is full of many blessings, one of which is working from home. My husband shoulders the responsibility of our financial well being. Although I'm constantly busy, I feel guilty. Guilty that I don't have to juggle a full time job and children.
That guilt propels me to say Yes, to try and make up for all the missing volunteers at school and to ease my own guilt for being luckier than others. I also want my children to get a top notch education, and part of that falls on me.
The other day I complained out loud, "Why can't I ever say No?" My middle daughter overheard me. Not one to hold back her opinion, she said, "Just pretend everyone else is one of your kids. You say No to us all the time."
"Come on, I don't say No all the time," I said, emphasis on all.
"Yes, you do," she replied. I should have noticed the evil gleam in her eye as she continued, "Can we stop and have McDonald's after swim practice?"
Little pistol had me over a barrel. She knew I had chili in the crock pot at home, but I wasn't going down without a fight. "Yes," I said. Ha, ha. Take that.
www.wigflip.comShe smiled. After swim, I bought McDonald's for the girls. Even though my daughter was just playing me, she taught me a lesson. My dinner was put off a night, and I spent unnecessary money buying food I didn't need. All because I said yes. I didn't take the time to think about how that yes would affect my evening.There is a lot of power in two simple words: yes or no. I need to use one of my favorite parenting stall techniques on adults. The next time someone asks me to volunteer or give of myself, I should say, "We'll see." Then go home and weigh my options, see how my answer will truly affect me (and my family).
I wonder if that phrase will upset adults as much as it always does my children!
What are your best techniques for not overcommitting?
January 23, 2012
Search 'N Find: Spot the Similarities
What's the best part about a vacation with girlfriends? Freedom. Now I know what you're thinking... freedom from children. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a break from kids' activities, homework, and fighting. But I mean freedom to be myself.
During my getaway, my girlfriends and I shared everything from silly kid stories to our hopes and fears about what's around the corner to our childhoods. It was a writer's dream. I'm convinced everyone has a story to tell. As I sat around listening to people spin tales, I wanted to record it. There were interesting pieces I knew would tie together into an amazing piece of fiction.
What I love about women is that we can be different and appreciate each other. We can play board games, hike, watch Denver get their butts handed to them by the Patriots, drink wine, and laugh until our sides hurt. All in a matter of three hours.
One of the reasons Mom and I wrote Depression Cookies was to showcase how differently two women could view the same events and still come together in the end. There are paths in life, and choosing to focus on people's differences is the easy one.
Still focusing on the beginnings of a new year, I want to spend each day on this planet finding what I have in common with people, what can bring us together. Every time I meet a new person, I want to walk away with something we share.
I don't care where you come from or what you want out of life, there's something to tie you to any stranger on the street. I truly believe that. Spend enough time talking to anyone, and you can find a commonality.
I've lived in many states and different communities, and I have known women and men from all walks of life. But, at the end of the day, we are all trying to figure it out. We all have a purpose and a focus. Who knows what we could accomplish if we put our energies into coming together instead of tearing each other down.
As a writer, I find people fascinating. Trying to find what can bring the most unlikely characters together puts a huge grin on my face. Even the villains in a story are more interesting if they have ties to the heroes.
The longer we listen to one another - with real attention - the more commonality we will find in all our lives. That is, if we are careful to exchange with one another life stories and not simply opinions. Barbara Deming
Why are differences so much easier to spot?
During my getaway, my girlfriends and I shared everything from silly kid stories to our hopes and fears about what's around the corner to our childhoods. It was a writer's dream. I'm convinced everyone has a story to tell. As I sat around listening to people spin tales, I wanted to record it. There were interesting pieces I knew would tie together into an amazing piece of fiction.
What I love about women is that we can be different and appreciate each other. We can play board games, hike, watch Denver get their butts handed to them by the Patriots, drink wine, and laugh until our sides hurt. All in a matter of three hours.One of the reasons Mom and I wrote Depression Cookies was to showcase how differently two women could view the same events and still come together in the end. There are paths in life, and choosing to focus on people's differences is the easy one.
Still focusing on the beginnings of a new year, I want to spend each day on this planet finding what I have in common with people, what can bring us together. Every time I meet a new person, I want to walk away with something we share.
I don't care where you come from or what you want out of life, there's something to tie you to any stranger on the street. I truly believe that. Spend enough time talking to anyone, and you can find a commonality.
I've lived in many states and different communities, and I have known women and men from all walks of life. But, at the end of the day, we are all trying to figure it out. We all have a purpose and a focus. Who knows what we could accomplish if we put our energies into coming together instead of tearing each other down.
As a writer, I find people fascinating. Trying to find what can bring the most unlikely characters together puts a huge grin on my face. Even the villains in a story are more interesting if they have ties to the heroes.
The longer we listen to one another - with real attention - the more commonality we will find in all our lives. That is, if we are careful to exchange with one another life stories and not simply opinions. Barbara Deming
Why are differences so much easier to spot?
January 22, 2012
Hello, Life: ROW80 Check In
Hello, Life. I knew you were lurking around the corner, but I was so busy and so motivated I thought I could outpace you. I thought wrong.
After five days away, I was rejuvenated and ready to hit the ground running. No task was too big. Unfortunately, Life had other plans. I came home to three kids with Strep. If that wasn't enough, we also found out my baby girl has Lyme's Disease. We think we caught it pretty early, but she's on antibiotics for 21 days. We'll retest then and see if she has to continue with another round.
Fortunately for me, insert sarcastic tone here, my kids' energy levels are never affected by sickness. They were home all day Wednesday and some of Thursday, but they were running around like crazy people. Sickness wipes me out, but they take one pill and magically rebound.
Speaking of wiping me out, my husband and I both succumbed to Strep. It was, quite frankly, stronger than our will to avoid it. I hope with five bottles of antibiotics floating around our house, we'll all be back to normal soon.
In addition to Strep, I have a head cold. Nothing is worse than trying to sit at my computer and type while my head is throbbing and my nose constantly dripping. I spent way too long trying to invent a laptop that could be used while I was flat on my back. Didn't come up with anything!
I'd like to take this moment to thank Life for humbling me once again. Every time I think I can't be stopped, get a little too smug, Life makes sure to step in and teach me a lesson. I hear you, loud and clear. *whispers while looking around nervously * But, I plan to make up for lost time this week.
Hopefully, Life didn't just hear that!
Do you ever feel like Life lurks, waiting to humble you as soon as you get in a good groove?
ROW80 Update
A huge thanks to A Round of Words in 80 Days for being the "writing challenge that knows you have a life." Another thanks to the medical world for antibiotics.
Writing: I did some mental planning and note taking for my WIP. But not much in the way of words. I'm looking forward to getting back to regular writing this week. Maybe joining in some #ROW80 wordsprints for motivation.
Blogging: Thanks to a guest post from Mom, I posted every day for a total of 1,017 words. I also posted in Mom in Love with Fiction, although I'm behind on posting reviews. Planning to post several over the next two weeks, so stop by and check them out. Managed to keep up with blog reading and commenting, though.
Note: Thanks to everyone for their suggestions on reviewing books you don't like. It helped so much!
Reading: Little to none. Head hurt too bad. ;-(
Editing: Finished a major editing project and on time. *woot*
Exercise: Ran for 4 miles and thought I'd die, so I took a few days off. Hoping to head back to the gym tomorrow. Thanks to ice and now, I have to bid adieu to outdoor exercise for awhile. *sniff, sniff*
Want to find out what I love so much about the ROW80 community? Check out the ROW80 participants here.
After five days away, I was rejuvenated and ready to hit the ground running. No task was too big. Unfortunately, Life had other plans. I came home to three kids with Strep. If that wasn't enough, we also found out my baby girl has Lyme's Disease. We think we caught it pretty early, but she's on antibiotics for 21 days. We'll retest then and see if she has to continue with another round.
Fortunately for me, insert sarcastic tone here, my kids' energy levels are never affected by sickness. They were home all day Wednesday and some of Thursday, but they were running around like crazy people. Sickness wipes me out, but they take one pill and magically rebound. Speaking of wiping me out, my husband and I both succumbed to Strep. It was, quite frankly, stronger than our will to avoid it. I hope with five bottles of antibiotics floating around our house, we'll all be back to normal soon.
In addition to Strep, I have a head cold. Nothing is worse than trying to sit at my computer and type while my head is throbbing and my nose constantly dripping. I spent way too long trying to invent a laptop that could be used while I was flat on my back. Didn't come up with anything!
I'd like to take this moment to thank Life for humbling me once again. Every time I think I can't be stopped, get a little too smug, Life makes sure to step in and teach me a lesson. I hear you, loud and clear. *whispers while looking around nervously * But, I plan to make up for lost time this week.
Hopefully, Life didn't just hear that!
Do you ever feel like Life lurks, waiting to humble you as soon as you get in a good groove?
ROW80 Update
A huge thanks to A Round of Words in 80 Days for being the "writing challenge that knows you have a life." Another thanks to the medical world for antibiotics.
Writing: I did some mental planning and note taking for my WIP. But not much in the way of words. I'm looking forward to getting back to regular writing this week. Maybe joining in some #ROW80 wordsprints for motivation.
Blogging: Thanks to a guest post from Mom, I posted every day for a total of 1,017 words. I also posted in Mom in Love with Fiction, although I'm behind on posting reviews. Planning to post several over the next two weeks, so stop by and check them out. Managed to keep up with blog reading and commenting, though.
Note: Thanks to everyone for their suggestions on reviewing books you don't like. It helped so much!
Reading: Little to none. Head hurt too bad. ;-(
Editing: Finished a major editing project and on time. *woot*
Exercise: Ran for 4 miles and thought I'd die, so I took a few days off. Hoping to head back to the gym tomorrow. Thanks to ice and now, I have to bid adieu to outdoor exercise for awhile. *sniff, sniff*
Want to find out what I love so much about the ROW80 community? Check out the ROW80 participants here.
January 21, 2012
FOMO: A Curable Condition
When I lived in Colorado, I was surrounded by a wonderful community. I moved there with three girls ages 6, 4 and 1. I needed to surround myself with moms and friends, and I'm so glad I did. I made lifelong friends during my four year stint there, and now consider it my home away from home.
I was quite young when I developed FOMO or Fear of Missing Out. I didn't know what it was called until Word Spy sent me an email. (If you love finding out new and interesting words, check them out.)
I believe FOMO is a predominately female issue. My husband never thinks twice about missing guy events, and there are even fewer of those.
The longer I stayed in Colorado, the worse the condition became. My wonderful friends were good about getting out. We all encouraged each other to remember to feed our own souls, and not just those of our families. Still, I became overwhelmed at times with social options.
My oldest daughter has a tendency toward FOMO problems. She would go to an event just to make sure she wouldn't be left out of future invitations. She's so her mother's daughter. A tendency toward guilt and insecurity are leading indicators of being susceptible to FOMO.
Constantly relocating during my teen years set me on the path to FOMO. I wanted to fit into each location so badly, I would accept any invitation. This wasn't necessarily the best way to fit in. Desperation can be a turnoff.
But once I left a location, I left. It's easier that way. The fear of missing out was then displaced to the new location. That is, before Colorado. I knew I could never make the easy, clean break with my Colorado friends, and I'm glad I didn't. I still refuse to drive by my house when I'm in town, it's just too strange, but I love the feeling of coming home. In some ways, it's like I never left.
This experience is finally curing some of my FOMO tendencies. I realize my girlfriends still take me right back in, even though I can't be at every event and we don't get to talk all the time. It's a lesson I hope my daughter learns by watching me. After all, they say they do what we do and not what we say.
It's a simple idea that took me thirty some odd year to figure out... your true friends won't stop caring about you just because you don't always say yes.
Do you suffer from bouts of FOMO?
I was quite young when I developed FOMO or Fear of Missing Out. I didn't know what it was called until Word Spy sent me an email. (If you love finding out new and interesting words, check them out.)
I believe FOMO is a predominately female issue. My husband never thinks twice about missing guy events, and there are even fewer of those.
The longer I stayed in Colorado, the worse the condition became. My wonderful friends were good about getting out. We all encouraged each other to remember to feed our own souls, and not just those of our families. Still, I became overwhelmed at times with social options.
My oldest daughter has a tendency toward FOMO problems. She would go to an event just to make sure she wouldn't be left out of future invitations. She's so her mother's daughter. A tendency toward guilt and insecurity are leading indicators of being susceptible to FOMO.
Constantly relocating during my teen years set me on the path to FOMO. I wanted to fit into each location so badly, I would accept any invitation. This wasn't necessarily the best way to fit in. Desperation can be a turnoff. But once I left a location, I left. It's easier that way. The fear of missing out was then displaced to the new location. That is, before Colorado. I knew I could never make the easy, clean break with my Colorado friends, and I'm glad I didn't. I still refuse to drive by my house when I'm in town, it's just too strange, but I love the feeling of coming home. In some ways, it's like I never left.
This experience is finally curing some of my FOMO tendencies. I realize my girlfriends still take me right back in, even though I can't be at every event and we don't get to talk all the time. It's a lesson I hope my daughter learns by watching me. After all, they say they do what we do and not what we say.
It's a simple idea that took me thirty some odd year to figure out... your true friends won't stop caring about you just because you don't always say yes.
Do you suffer from bouts of FOMO?
January 20, 2012
Honest and Respecful Reviews
I'm passionate about books and writing. I love all aspects of creating a story, from the initial idea spark to capturing the words and finally editing them. I'm accepting of wandering muses and sentences that take weeks to get right. I don't know which came first, my love of reading or writing. They are so intertwined.
One of the many things I gained through publishing my own novel was an immense appreciation for writers. It's not easy to stay with that creative spark and see it all the way to a published novel. I have great admiration and respect for the hard work and determination required to see a book through to the end.
All of that being said, some books are not successful. There are many reasons: the story is weak or ill paced, the characters are one-dimensional and lack rooting value, there's such an extreme need for editing I can't get to the meat of the story, etc.
As a reader, I also take responsibility. Sometimes a book just doesn't speak to me. Is it my frame of mind? Would I like it if I put it aside and read it years later? Did it come with such a high set of expectations (thanks to other critics or friend recommendations) that it couldn't possibly deliver?
I review books here and on my Mom in Love with Fiction blog. I pride myself on finding the positive in most every book. I truly believe every book teaches us something, even if it's just teaching us what we do NOT like.
I recently joined WoMen's Literary Cafe Review team. As an independently published author myself, I want to give back to my writing community and review independent and small press books. Plus, there are some great gems to be mined in these books.
Unfortunately, one of the books I just read for them underwhelmed me. I am struggling with writing a review that will point out the positive while also being honest and forthright with readers. I want to honor the author's efforts while also providing input that might help them succeed with future efforts.
Ultimately, I want readers to respect my reviews and know I will be honest and fair. Not all books are four and five star efforts.
To be fair, there are many books (and movies) I end up loving that were panned by critics. I hope all readers will remember that reviews are opinions. Reviewers can be wrong, and I'm more than happy to be wrong when I give a one or two star review. I hope there are readers out there that will appreciate something in the piece that I missed.
How much does a review sway your decision to buy a book?
When I review, I like to err on the side of positive feedback. I give many more five star reviews than one star reviews. But, I don't pad it. If a book really deserves a more critical review, I feel responsible to be honest. If I read a review blog that only gives high ratings, I don't trust them as much.
Nobody loves all books equally. I try to save my five stars for the truly stellar books. I like to average in the three to four range.
Which do you respect more, a reviewer who gives more five or one star reviews?
One of the many things I gained through publishing my own novel was an immense appreciation for writers. It's not easy to stay with that creative spark and see it all the way to a published novel. I have great admiration and respect for the hard work and determination required to see a book through to the end.
All of that being said, some books are not successful. There are many reasons: the story is weak or ill paced, the characters are one-dimensional and lack rooting value, there's such an extreme need for editing I can't get to the meat of the story, etc.
As a reader, I also take responsibility. Sometimes a book just doesn't speak to me. Is it my frame of mind? Would I like it if I put it aside and read it years later? Did it come with such a high set of expectations (thanks to other critics or friend recommendations) that it couldn't possibly deliver?
I review books here and on my Mom in Love with Fiction blog. I pride myself on finding the positive in most every book. I truly believe every book teaches us something, even if it's just teaching us what we do NOT like.
I recently joined WoMen's Literary Cafe Review team. As an independently published author myself, I want to give back to my writing community and review independent and small press books. Plus, there are some great gems to be mined in these books.Unfortunately, one of the books I just read for them underwhelmed me. I am struggling with writing a review that will point out the positive while also being honest and forthright with readers. I want to honor the author's efforts while also providing input that might help them succeed with future efforts.
Ultimately, I want readers to respect my reviews and know I will be honest and fair. Not all books are four and five star efforts.
To be fair, there are many books (and movies) I end up loving that were panned by critics. I hope all readers will remember that reviews are opinions. Reviewers can be wrong, and I'm more than happy to be wrong when I give a one or two star review. I hope there are readers out there that will appreciate something in the piece that I missed.
How much does a review sway your decision to buy a book?
When I review, I like to err on the side of positive feedback. I give many more five star reviews than one star reviews. But, I don't pad it. If a book really deserves a more critical review, I feel responsible to be honest. If I read a review blog that only gives high ratings, I don't trust them as much.
Nobody loves all books equally. I try to save my five stars for the truly stellar books. I like to average in the three to four range.
Which do you respect more, a reviewer who gives more five or one star reviews?
January 19, 2012
Bulging Belly Buttons: Guest Post by Angela Silverthorne
It's always fun when Mom stops by, and today is certainly no exception. Take a moment to read her post, and enjoy the often humorous difference between the generations.
*****
Belly Button Bulging Banner
On a recent visit to see Tia, Icommented on a pregnant lady whose belly button bulged like a balloon. I said,"I can remember being so embarrassed of my bulging belly button I put duck tapeover it and wore two pair of panties." Tia chuckled and said, "Mom, you need towrite about it."
Well, honestly what's there to writeabout? It must be the new fashion to showcase the button. But I wonder? Are thesame women who wouldn't show their non-pregnant abdomen in the dark to theirhusband now getting rather bold? There's no doubt I was excited and happyabout my pregnancies; I wanted to tell everyone. I would have consideredwearing a banner on my forehead. I might have considered a shirt slogan. Butbelly button exposure?
I'm the one who grew up with the I Love Lucy show. When Lucy was pregnant,she wore a tent. Her attentive husbanddidn't see her bulging belly button; he couldn't. And her demure nature causedhim to be so gracious. He wouldn't even allow Lucy the uncomfortableness ofhaving to sit or disgrace herself by having him take her bag to the hospital,giving the impression she might be an invalid. Character was on the line.Protocol was sacred.
Have weturned an era curve? Something like the 1960s? Those brazen hussies hadlove-ins, sit-ins and sex anywhere. Skirts rose up to heights of noimagination. Bras were burned. Is this the new feminine badge of honor, thebelly button bulging banner? I've noticeda few proud women sporting the ultimate banner, displaying a stripe of brownpigment drawn straight down to the exit sign which could serve as further proofof brashness or braveness. Now the idea is taking on a new meaning.
Maybe it'sa new form of freedom? Bare bellies are shining proudly in Zumba classes,beaches, and on the red carpet by some of our favorite stars. All of this makesme wonder... if I were young today, would I? Could I?
What'snext? Bare Breasts Bouncing Bodaciously?
*****
Belly Button Bulging Banner
On a recent visit to see Tia, Icommented on a pregnant lady whose belly button bulged like a balloon. I said,"I can remember being so embarrassed of my bulging belly button I put duck tapeover it and wore two pair of panties." Tia chuckled and said, "Mom, you need towrite about it."
Well, honestly what's there to writeabout? It must be the new fashion to showcase the button. But I wonder? Are thesame women who wouldn't show their non-pregnant abdomen in the dark to theirhusband now getting rather bold? There's no doubt I was excited and happyabout my pregnancies; I wanted to tell everyone. I would have consideredwearing a banner on my forehead. I might have considered a shirt slogan. Butbelly button exposure?
I'm the one who grew up with the I Love Lucy show. When Lucy was pregnant,she wore a tent. Her attentive husbanddidn't see her bulging belly button; he couldn't. And her demure nature causedhim to be so gracious. He wouldn't even allow Lucy the uncomfortableness ofhaving to sit or disgrace herself by having him take her bag to the hospital,giving the impression she might be an invalid. Character was on the line.Protocol was sacred.
Have weturned an era curve? Something like the 1960s? Those brazen hussies hadlove-ins, sit-ins and sex anywhere. Skirts rose up to heights of noimagination. Bras were burned. Is this the new feminine badge of honor, thebelly button bulging banner? I've noticeda few proud women sporting the ultimate banner, displaying a stripe of brownpigment drawn straight down to the exit sign which could serve as further proofof brashness or braveness. Now the idea is taking on a new meaning. Maybe it'sa new form of freedom? Bare bellies are shining proudly in Zumba classes,beaches, and on the red carpet by some of our favorite stars. All of this makesme wonder... if I were young today, would I? Could I?
What'snext? Bare Breasts Bouncing Bodaciously?
