Michael Joe Armijo's Blog, page 113

He Suspects

"The greatest fear is fear itself."
-Apartment Zero, 1988 Film

Twenty-five years ago today:

August 1, 1986
Friday

August 1986 has arrived. I am ready to take on a new month.

While speaking to Mark Landreth last night I cannot help but feel that he suspects how I feel about him. I need to write him a lengthy, revealing letter soon...or eventually.

I went home and worked out a little on my new barbell from INTERNATIONAL MALE. Then I JO'd a lot. Then I went bicycling, too.

As far as I can recount the events of today I believe I went to bed fairly early (10:30PM). I knew I had a hard time falling asleep.

Mike Miller and Greg Manachevitz telephoned.
Mike said, "You know…I called that Amy girl and her birthday is on August 6th! I think she kind of wanted to get-together."
"Oh wow, you should," I said, realizing that Amy never really calls me anymore.
Why should I call her? She's pale and overweight—or at least O.O.S. (Out of Shape).

I watched a bit of THE TONIGHT SHOW and then I went to bed.

"You need more men in your life.   And more life in your men!"
-Tallulah Bankhead

Making Arrangements

"Does the idea of change alarm you?"
-"Don't Look Back" (Ne Te Retourne Pas)
2009 French film

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 31, 1986
Thursday

I hope I am accepted at Stanford. That would be ideal. It's just such a long process that it's kind of a drag. The forms and waiting is nerve racking.

Some fat elderly lady I'd never noticed complimented me yesterday morning in the cafeteria.
She said, "I like your hair better that way."
I had used a blow dryer and added mousse to make it stay in place. That was all I did.

I had Jeff (a new guy in the office) sit with me today. He's pretty nice. He grew up in San Diego. He's kind of geeky looking though. He has a Bachelor's degree in Psychology and a minor in Creative Writing. We got to talking about Creative Writing. That was interesting.
It was one hell of a busy day today. The phone was ringing off the hook.

I called Rosalyn from TEL-PLUS. They have a position for me in Field Sales. Now that it has been presented to me I am not so sure I am interested. She didn't even mention salary. Perhaps I am better off waiting patiently for Pac Bell DIRECTORY Sales positions. She gave me a telephone number to call in Foster City, CA on Monday. I may not call. I may just try to invest in myself with more education.

Margaret was resting today after her car accident ordeal.

I went home and saw Sherri and Ashley after my one-hour bike ride. Ash was happy to see me.
"Uncle Mike, I want to go bye-bye with you," Ashley said clearly.
That was so cute to hear her call me Uncle Mike on the phone earlier today, too.

Ron Leoni telephoned.
"You know, Ron, we arrive in New York on August 16th at 4:30PM."
"Okay, I'm making arrangements for us."
It sounds like we'll have a lot of fun.

The INTERNATIONAL MALE guy telephoned me to say he was going to order another dumbbell weight for me. I still need to call him today to find out why mine doesn't have the black rubber molding. Why do I order things by catalog and have to deal with a mess like this?

Sherri informed me of an Alameda for the Parks RUNNING Event on August 10th. I telephoned Mark Landreth about it. We're going to do it since it's only a 10K run. It'll be a breeze for the two of us.

It looks like our strike may last for a good month. This will be fine with me. I don't mind that time span at all. In fact—in a strange way--I'm looking forward to it.

I have decided to not follow-up and call TEL-PLUS in Foster City. If they really want me they'll call me again.

I made arrangements to pick-up Margaret Lai and her son, Lance, on Saturday morning. We are going on a picnic to ANGEL ISLAND.

"How are you going to improve things in the future?"
-COMING OUT,
1989 German film

A Car Accident

"There's never a right time here."
-His Secret Life
2001 Italian Film

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 30, 1986
Wednesday

I decided to give dad his new electric lawn mower gift for his birthday (August 8th) instead of waiting until Christmas. I figured it would be nice for him to enjoy it now.

I also called Stanford University to inquire about available programs and admissions documents. I think I want to seriously apply for admission. If I am accepted it could be worthwhile.

Work has been busy. Margaret Lai and I walked to her travel agent. She decided to cancel her trip to New Orleans, Louisiana. We ran into Mark (another guy from my gym). He's kind of a geek. I know he's OBV (Obviously gay).

I received a rejection letter from TRIAD SYSTEMS in Sunnyvale, CA. My resume shall remain in their files for a suitable position at a later date though. I also received a phone call from a lady named Rosalyn who represented TEL-PLUS. I'll have to give her a return phone call tomorrow. I am hesitant to call her because I confirmed that Pac Bell will pay one-hundred percent of my college tuition and books if I decide to go back to school for continued education.

I planned on taping a movie starring Leslie Warren and Chet Atkins for mom but I got a surprise phone call from KAISER HOSPITAL. I had already decided against going to the gym tonight. As it turned out—Margaret Lai was in a car accident!

I went to KAISER HOSPITAL. She was okay but it was a four-car big rig accident. She was pretty shaken up though. I drove her and Lance home to El Sobrante, CA.

I was home by 10:15PM. I watched a bit of TV. I lounged around and suddenly felt very horny.

I saw a cute blond walk in front of me…as I am writing this on Thursday morning—Oh well.

"Be careful, carnal desire is cause for our undoing."
-Kilometer Zero,
2001 Madrid, SPAIN film

She's Available

"I had only met her once before, but she took it into her head to lionise me."
-Oscar Wilde
"The Picture of Dorian Gray"

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 29, 1986
Tuesday

I did my duty and arrived at 7AM.

I telephoned United Parcel Service about the interview process.

I am now considering a return to school. There's UC Berkeley and/or Stanford. A Masters Degree wouldn't hurt. There are so many ideas running through my mind these days.

I enjoyed an 'after work' happy hour drink with Mark Landreth and Kathy Ortega (a gal from the gym). This was a spontaneous event. I ended up getting home at 11:15PM.

We started speaking of Anne Alberti, the aerobics instructor at our gym.
Kathy said, "You know…she's available. She broke up with Jeff."
I wondered if Anne was really my type. I wondered if Kathy was sent to drop this information to me 'by Anne'. I didn't like knowing that Anne was 'with' Jeff. Jeff is the other aerobics instructor who wears these tight pants and you can see every bulge imaginable. How embarrassing.

I was pulled over last night on the way to the gym by a San Leandro cop. Luckily for me, he didn't give me a ticket. It seems that I cut in front of a red Volkswagen instead of stopping to yield first. The officer was nice for a change.
The police officer asked, "So, where did you get that globe?"
I answered, "It was a gift from a friend."
He said, "I should get one for my kids."

"True love doesn't grow with a number of lovers. It wastes away."
-CASANOVA,
2005 motion-picture

The Flirting Game

"ART is like LOVE, it's always hungry."
-Remember Me, My Love
2003 Italian Film

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 28, 1986
Monday

The word is spreading like wildfire that we will likely be going ON STRIKE. This will mean a lack of funds for me. Ouch. I was thinking of looking into employment elsewhere (part-time at the very least). There's always United Parcel Service or the trying out of that new Employment Temporary/Permanent Service on Harbor Bay Parkway in Alameda.

It was busy at work today. Margaret's having second thoughts about transferring to the TAS group. Could she be fearful of the unknown?

I went bicycling after work. There were three young gals who swooped on me near South Shore Beach. Their names were Monica, Glenda and Julie. All three of them were from San Leandro. I played the flirting game and then I went to the gym.

Patty and Anne were both working out when I arrived.

Mark did the aerobics class.

David Trapp spotted me on the free weights and we exchanged a few words. He's really nice.

I keep having these ideal thoughts about working a late night shift at United Parcel Service. There are dollar signs in my eyes. I plan to arrive at work at 7AM for the rest of this week. I could use the overtime if we do happen to go ON STRIKE.  I have to realize that I have a trip to New York planned next month, too.  Ouch.

"True happiness requires some level of self-awareness."
-DOLLHOUSE, Season I
Episode 5: True Believer

An Uncomfortable Time

"And so it hurts a bit, doesn't it? But the hurt isn't because you actually have had your heart broken. It's more because you feel that you engaged in a lie. And now you've had your sense of trust staggered."
-John Katzenbach
THE ANALYST

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 27, 1986
Sunday

I telephoned Mark Landreth when I got home at the wee hours of the night.

"Hello."
"Hey Mark, I just wanted to make sure you got home okay."
"Oh, you caught me at...uh...an uncomfortable time."
He was pretending that some girl was there with him and then he confessed and told me the truth. He was alone, watching some movie called "LIFEGUARD".
I said, "The only ones here are me and Rodney."
I had previously told him about Rachelle naming my 'you-know-what' Rodney, so he knew what I meant.
Mark laughed.
We both went to bed.

In the early hours (7:45AM) I received a phone call from Julie Waller, the cute Vietnamese girl that always had a crush on me in high-school. She could tell I was asleep.
"Oh, I'll call you back."

Bruce Goree called in the mid afternoon. He's the one I met 'way back when' during Traffic School. I was napping. I had just returned from a visit to mom's house (breakfast and playing with my niece, Ashley).
Bruce asked, "What are you up to the rest of this week?"
"The usual…work and more work. I think I'm going to take a nap now though."
I tried to not be rude. I think he got the message that I didn't want to schedule a meeting.

I washed clothes. I showered and cleaned house. I washed my car. The only thing I failed to clean was my bike.

I went to visit mom and dad's house just as Tony and Helen were leaving. I love Lauren Michael's smile. She is so CUTE. I ate dinner at mom's house and ended up staying there until 9:30PM.
I reviewed by stock holding positions and contemplated becoming a millionaire by saving $100,000 in ten different banking institutions. It's a new goal: $$$

I went home and Johnny Schaefer called me from Los Angeles.
"I might be going on strike on August 9th, so I may drive down there to visit."
Johnny said, "Great. You should see the movie ALIENS. It's really good. It's so intense."
"I don't think I'm in the mood for an alien flick. I like more serious, comical or happy movies."
"Well, I saw RUTHLESS PEOPLE and that made me laugh because that's really happy."
I laughed, "Well, the title doesn't sound too happy.
He laughed.

I had a dream about stock investments. I thought of buying SONY, SAFEWAY and UNITED AIRLINES stock. I'm yearning for more money, aren't I?  One day my day will come.

"I love solitude.  It doesn't scare me."
-Walk On Water, 2004 French Film

Letting the Air Out

"It turns out all I needed was an attitude change."
-GLEE, Season I
Episode 17 'Bad Reputation'

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 26, 1986
Saturday

Since I woke up so early I decided to go to work and put in some extra hours. I worked from 8AM until noon and then went home to nap for a bit. It was easy money.

I drove up to Antioch at around 2:30PM. I arrived by 3PM or so. It was an easy drive. I headed for Bobby McGee's and Patty and Ann Alberti were the first to arrive. I like Anne. She's an aerobics teacher. I learned that she's also a nurse (her day job). She's Italian and pretty. Time---as usual---will tell where she and I are concerned. She graduated from high-school in 1975, so she's at least twenty-seven (going on 28 or 29). Mark Landreth showed up eventually. We had fun. I gave them each a Pacific Bell balloon.

We all had a good time blowing the balloons and letting the air out. The odd sound made other people think that someone had farted. It made us all laugh. I drank down three CORONA beers. Anne had to work the next day. Patty left with Anne at around 12:30AM. Mark and I stayed around. A couple of girls asked us to dance. By 2AM we left the place, too. I saw a couple of QBL guys there (interesting). It was fun.

"Do you know who's real?"
-DOLLHOUSE, Season II
Episode I, VOWS

Her Mind Was Drifting

[image error] "My father often said that when I played chess, my strategy was indifferent but my tactics were good."
-Edward Rutherford
LONDON, the novel

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 25, 1986
Friday

I arrived at work at 7AM once again. More overtime means more cash.

I blurted the fact that I was working at the Pac Bell booth at the Contra Costa County Fair while Helen, Margaret and I were out in Chinatown for lunch. Margaret was disturbed by this news.
"No one mentioned this to me," Margaret said with a tight lip.
Oh well…

I drove to Sue Croce's house in Fremont. I actually called Mark before I left, telling him to meet us at Black Angus later. He has an interview in the morning, so I doubt he'll show up.

It's a good thing he didn't show up because Sue and I never did go to Black Angus.

We had a late night munchies at LYON's and discussed the disappointing movie called "HAUNTED HONEYMOON". The opening scenes were pretty good but it wasn't so great overall. I took Sue home. She gave me some folders that were especially made for my stocks that I was planning to invest with. That was sweet of her.
[image error] Sue made me feel kind of distant. There was something going on in the back of her mind. I am not so sure what. She didn't really confide in me about what might be troubling her. I guess I won't know for a while at least. Maybe it's because of the way I was dressed (better than her). Or maybe it's because I played Johnny Schaefer's song called ALWAYS. I don't know where her mind was drifting at times. Cest la vie. I went straight to bed by midnight. Yawn.

"Even in our darkest hour we must remember to never despair."
-The Greatest Game Ever Played
2005 motion-picture

I Have The Whole World

[image error] "I never seek to defeat the man I am fighting," he explained. "I seek to defeat his confidence. A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory. Two men are equals—only when they both have equal confidence."
-Arthur Golden
"Memoirs of a Geisha"

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 24, 1986
Thursday

Steph had a talk with Dale Orlando, Margaret Lai and I about our working overtime. Apparently, Betsy (another middle manager) was spying and felt that we weren't working during our reported overtime hours, so she reported this to Steph's attention. Oh well, we all defended and vouched for one another. This is not going to stop me from working overtime.

Mom was so sweet. She went out to buy a baby gift for me on behalf of my coworker, Sue Fischer.

Johnny Schaefer was cool to send me a tape with such cool songs (especially 'Forever Change' and 'Thief of Hearts'). He is very infatuated with me. He is also a very sensitive fellow. I think he's a bit more sensitive than I am these days. I can relate to how he is feeling. I like him. And I do always want to remain a friend…regardless.

I ended up eating salad and other goodies for Leland's pot luck luncheon. I didn't even leave the building today except to deposit my paycheck (which was a slim $635). It would have been $635 + $135 = $770 if I didn't have the $135 deducted for SAVINGS.

I love to look at the inflatable globe in my car. That was cool of Ron to replace the one that flew out of the window. It reminds me that I have the whole world 'to make decisions upon'.

I received a letter from El Camino Hospital about my application for the Telecommunications Director position. They may be contacting me within a few weeks for an interview. We'll see.

I went to the gym. Stuart Western came in and I think he is QBL (Questionable on the gay side). I can't be sure, of course. He's a nice guy. I like him. I admire his bicep muscles.

Terry (if that's her name) at the gym sure talks a lot.
[image error]
Mark said, "I'll go to the County Fair with you in Antioch and then after that we can go to Bobby McGee's on Saturday."
"Great, that'll be fun," I answered.

My mom was very moody today because Dad was all uptight about getting his old job title back.  His current machinist job at Del Monte Corporation is too physically stressful on his elbows and arms.

I received a rejection slip about the Staff Clerk job in San Francisco.  The job was cancelled by the originator.  Oh well…maybe I'll have a chance with the other two I submitted in Los Angeles.  If it happens it was 'meant to be'.

I wore my black leather jacket this Friday morning.  It reminds me of the one worn by the star of the film THIEF OF HEARTS (Steven Bauer).  That song really got to me from that THIEF OF HEARTS film after Johnny Schaefer had taped it for me. I never really concentrated on the lyrics before.   And I never realized that Melissa Manchester sang the title theme song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXd1wJmW2Jo

I decided to send Johnny my original pictures that he had liked.  I also wrote to Paloma.  I sent her a special card and a photo of me in my undershorts by the Cliffside views of San Francisco.

Debra Neal called me the day before yesterday.  She is going to arrange a lunch date with me and Patrick Brent, the big wheel of LAURA TODD and Co.  The only other response I've received is from that El Camino Hospital.  We shall see.

Steph made a comment today that I won't forget: "You have a lot going for you, Michael."
I replied, "Yeah, for the most part…"

"Those pages you wrote," Tom said, "they ought to be destroyed, you know…"
"If anyone found them, you couldn't say it's a short story, with all those names in it."
-Patricia Highsmith
"The Boy Who Followed Ripley"

We Should Go...

[image error] "I don't do it like everyone else…remember?"
-TAP, 1989 motion-picture

Twenty-five years ago today:

July 23, 1986
Wednesday

Janette (one of the gals at my gym) is going to San Diego tomorrow to look for an apartment since she is planning to go to school down there.
"Be sure you give me your telephone number once you get settled in there," I stated flirtatiously.
As I was telling her this I noticed a faint "hickie" on her neck. Alas, she's only eighteen and that's life at that age.
My work day was okay. I left the office at 1PM for a dentist appointment. All was good at the dentist's office. I slept at mom's house thereafter. Then I went to the gym, of course.

Terry, Stuart, Dave, Mark I, and Mark II were all there as well as a few OBV's (Obviously gay ones) and QBL's (Questionably gay ones). I have fun at my gym. I was on my Life Cycle for twenty-four minutes despite my agonizing toes.

I went to SAFEWAY and bought goodies for Leland's pot luck lunch at the office.

I telephoned Mark Landreth.
I said, "You know, Mark, that girl at the gym and Anne, the aerobics instructor, may go to Bobby McGee's on Saturday night. We should go and meet them there!"
"You think so?" He asked.
"Yeah, why not…I also have a date this Friday night with Sue," I revealed.
"Oh," Mark said with a sly little laugh.
I wasn't sure if he was approving or disapproving.

"You have to take initiative in life."
-"The 400 Blows", 1959 French film