Michael Joe Armijo's Blog, page 109

See a Counselor

Always there was the sky and the clouds and my shadow, and in the evening the moon walked with me, and when I stopped it stopped, too.
-Janet Frame
An Autobiography

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 10, 1986
Wednesday

I am to meet Anne Alberti at the gym tonight. I'm looking forward to it.

Work flew by.  Margaret Lai and I ate at The Pizza Boat.
Steph, my boss, said, "Michael, you're exempt from any observations this week because of that one-hundred percent score on that test call."
That was great news.

I received a phone call from Pac Bell Directory-Yellow Pages in Los Angeles! My heart skipped a beat when I saw the pink WHILE YOU WERE OUT message written at my desk. I'm worried that they'll ask if I speak Spanish. It's probably about Spanish Yellow Pages as they're hiring for that like there's no tomorrow. Maybe I should attempt a job in Spanish Yellow Pages after all. If I fail the Spanish Assessment, then I fail. My conscience will be soothed.

I keep thinking about going back to school. The applying to Stanford or some other University tempts me. I hope all goes well. There would be decision time. For instance, do I want to get my teaching credentials to teach English? Do I want a Masters in Business Administration? Shall I focus on Advertising and Marketing once again? I think the answer is to 'see a Counselor'.

I slept easily as soon as I arrived home. My mind needed to rest. I did make it to the gym; however, a tad later than usual. I did not see Anne Alberti after all.

Mark Landreth was at the gym. He was wearing his half-cut SUNKIST t-shirt. Stu Western was at the gym, too. Stu is a QBL (Questionable). He's a very nice guy towards me. He works in construction. He's in such good shape—not like other 'beer belly' construction workers.

Through the window of the train he watched the passing landscape of the central valley.
"My life is changing," he said softly.
-Isabel Allende
"The House Of The Spirits"

She's A-1

The world can judge me by my actions.  But, he added, taking her hand, you cannot conceive how attached I am to you, and how great a joy it is to me.
-Stendahl
"The Red and The Black"

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 9, 1986
Tuesday

I brought my big box of RICE CHEX cereal to work today for breakfast.

I prepared the schedules for the week. Steph thinks I short-changed myself a bit with how I scheduled myself. Oh well, I probably did but I wanted the section to appreciate me.

I had another test call. I achieved one-hundred percent on the call for the required objectives. Steph was pleased with my performance. Larry (Steph's boss) shook my hand today in appreciation of my test call results (GMAB-Give Me a Break).  So what…I know I do very well for my customers.

I telephoned Anne Alberti.
Anne asked, "Why don't you come over to my house to watch 'A Little Sex'."
I laughed. It's something I would have said.

I rode my bike for an hour and then I did go to Anne's place. I brought my 'A Little Sex' video and we watched it together. Her mom actually dropped by as we were watching the romantic-comedy. We drank wine-coolers, ate seedless grapes and munched on popcorn. I had a wonderful evening. There's something about Anne that turns me on. She's A-1 in my book.

It was a beautiful day today.

Anne and I shared some good kisses before I left her house.

I received a phone call at 2:15AM from some jerk named Robert (in Concord, CA). He wanted Data Works Telecommunications. His telephone number is 680-0101. He spoke to me until 4:45AM about a bunch of gibberish. He just went on and on in flirtatious ways.  He did have a nice sounding voice.  It seemed like a 'Dale Orlando' sort of hoax call to entice me.
I finally said, "I have to go."
I was sure that this mysterious Robert was an OBV (Obviously gay guy). I tried to sleep. I had an hour until I had to get up to be at work.

What inhibited him was the difficulty of phrasing politely something he wanted to say, but for which he could not really summon the wit.-Stendhal
"The Red and The Black"

Red and Black

PHOTO: My Cousin, Robbie Barnabee
Alone in my bedroom, I studied pictures of intelligent men and searched for a common denominator.  There was a definite Smart Guy look, but it was difficult to get just right.
-David Sedaris
"Me Talk Pretty One Day"

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 8, 1986
Monday

It was another San Francisco work day. I think I will buy some postcards at noon.

Anne said, "After my aerobics class at eight-thirty tonight, Patty is willing to give 'us' massages."
"Isn't that a little late?" I asked.
"Not really."
I really don't think this offer will actually transpire (tonight anyway).

My postcards cost me a good $13.85. I bought some great ones though. No more impulse buying on my part though. I want to invest, invest, and invest.

I received a bundle of mail today about all sorts of mutual funds. Times are tough. I just need to pay off those few credit card bills. One day…and 'never again'.

I filled out the necessary forms to open my Capital Asset Account with CITICORP. My goal is to deposit $250 each time I receive my monthly statement. That will---at least—get me rolling off to a good start.

I managed to make it to the gym for Anne Alberti's aerobics class. It was semi-rough. I managed beautifully.
I said to Anne, "I'll go to your six o'clock class at the Harbor Bay Isle club on Friday."
"Oh great," she said.
That ought to be fun (and a different scene, too).

Work actually flew by. I received a Verification Status Form for a transfer to San Ramon for a Service Representative position with a Qualification I (which is the best rating I can get). I also submitted a transfer for the Staff Representative position in San Leandro. That one should be arriving in the Master File soon. The only problem is that I forged my boss' name. She doesn't know about that transfer. Oh well---she has signed so many she probably won't know the difference. What she doesn't know won't hurt her.

Mark Landreth really doesn't care for Patty. I do care for Anne, so what a predicament. Mark, I can tell, is trying to shy away from this 'Patty Predicament'. I guess I can relate. I like Anne a lot, so I'm going to continue where we left off and see where it goes.

Johnny Schaefer sent me a lengthy statement of "114 Non-Sexual" reasons he likes me. It was entertaining to say the least. It made me learn a bit more about myself—in a way. It made me feel good. I let Johnny know by calling him.
Johnny asked, "How is your current book going?"
"Well, at least it's going—I'll say that much."
Johnny laughed.
"I have an idea for a futuristic novel and I want to title it 'In the Year 2541'."
"That sounds great," Johnny said.
I liked how he encouraged me by simply using the word 'great'.

I 'porked-out' on leftover goodies from the Barbeque yesterday. Anne did apologize again for not attending.
Anne said, "I slept for eleven hours straight!"
I guess that was supposed to be the proof in the pudding of her being tired defense. I noticed that both Anne and I wore red and black during the aerobics class tonight. Red is excitement. Black is depression. I suppose we're both 'a little of both': excited and depressed.

I am forced to render some order to the events of my life, to say it began here, and then because of this, that happened, and this is how the end connects to the beginning, and so here I am.
-Abraham Verghese
"Cutting For Stone"

In the Year 2541

"You see--I'm the one that sees the whole picture. That's what they mean by genius."
-Whatever Works
2009 Woody Allen film

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 7, 1986
Sunday

I was dreaming of Anne Alberti when my mother telephoned me at 8:20AM.
Mom said, "I just wanted to remind you to defrost the meat from the freezer for the Barbeque today."
"Oh, okay—I will."

I telephoned Anne while she was at work.
"I just wanted to make sure you made it in to work after last night," I laughed.
She laughed in return.
"Yes, I'm here."
"Okay, well don't forget to come by for the Barbeque tonight—if you want."
"Okay, Thanks."
I detected a smile and happiness in her tone because I had taken the time to call her.

I planned on a bike ride but settled for a half an hour of aerobics exercise via my video. I slept some more, too.

Helen, Tony, Lauren and my grandmother all came over. The Barbeque had started. Mom and Dad arrived. Then Sherri and Ashley appeared. John was the last to arrive.
Anne called to say, "I'm sorry—I can't make it. I'm so tired and I had such a rough day."
"Okay, no problem…another time," I said as I thought 'What a bitch!'

My brother, Tony, did all of the Barbeque work. Helen marinated the meat, etc. I was happy for this as I don't have a lot of experience doing the Barbeque tasks. By 7PM "Winnie the Pooh" had started on Walt Disney and everyone started to leave. Everyone was very helpful in cleaning up. We were all quite full.

I ate a lot this weekend. I slept some more and then I ate some leftovers (which I probably should not have done). I think I turned to food in my depression because Anne didn't show up. I watched a bit of TV, showered and slept more. I intended on being at work at 7AM the next day. Sleeping longer was my only wish.

I had a brainstorm idea of writing a futuristic novel called "In the Year 2541". I have ideas already. I will write a new life for myself during this futuristic year. I need to commit myself and make time to work on it extensively. One of my ideas is to focus on a shortage of land and have many people living under water in beautiful homes underneath the sea.  It will be excellent reading.

"I know you think she was THE ONE but I really don't."
-500 Days of Summer
2009 motion-picture

V.C.O.

One thing never changed: the brilliant charge of their infrequent couplings was darkened by the sense of time flying, never enough time, never enough.
-Annie Proulx
"Brokeback Mountain"

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 6, 1986
Saturday

I woke up and went straight over to mom's house. I did my Happy Birthday sing-a-long for her. Then we went to SAFEWAY to stock up on the goods for the afternoon barbeque tomorrow.

I had intentions of bike riding but I slept instead. You see—I do love to sleep.

By 6PM I had collected more postcards that my mom had stored away. I had fun decorating my wall full of postcards galore.

It was 7PM when Mark Landreth finally telephoned.
"I was wind surfing," Mark disclosed.
"I figured you were out and about. How about I pick you up at about quarter passed eight?"
"Okay, see you then."

After driving to San Lorenzo to pick up Mark I drove to Anne Alberti's apartment in San Leandro, arriving at approximately 8:45PM. We sipped a little champagne and made small talk. Patty was already there.
I said, "You wouldn't believe how I found my bike chain necklace today after it had disappeared two years ago!"
They laughed about that escapade.
Then Mark added, "That's like my dog tag being returned after three years!"
Like I said, it was 'small talk' as we sipped champagne.

Before I knew it the four of us were in North Oakland on College Avenue at ZACHARY's Pizza.
I made a comment to Mark about someone by saying, "V.C.O."
It's another one of my acronym codes that I'd made up.
Mark laughed, realizing the code.
Of course, Anne and Patty kept prying as they were dying to learn what V.C.O. meant. We didn't tell them, keeping it our secret.  It means "Vision the Clothes Off".  That's a major secret code we could not reveal.

By midnight we were in Berkeley (on University Avenue) watching the ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW. It was quite an experience. The blond muscle hunk (Peter Hinwood) in the movie reminded me of 'Mark' a little bit.  We all had such a good time.

After we dropped the girls off at Anne's place Mark confided in me by saying, "I really don't want to go out with Patty again—but you should continue to pursue Anne."
"You think so?" I asked.
He just sort of nodded or shook his head in a 'maybe' mode.

I dropped Mark off at his house and we awkwardly--but politely--shook hands goodnight.

"Oh, he's not unbalanced...he's just suffered a severe disappointment."
-J.K. Rowling
"Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban"

Lowenbrau

"As a betting man you must concede there is a certain thrill to it."
-An Ideal Husband
1999 motion-picture

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 5, 1986
Friday

"I love to sleep."
I remember Salima Nasardeen-Hamilton, a dear, former coworker, saying those exact words. I hate waking-up in the morning.

There are Spanish Telephone Premise Directory Sales positions opened in Los Angeles but it's not worth it. Besides that—my Spanish language skills need vast improvement. I understand that the most vacation time I would ever get is three weeks with only two paid floating holidays. That's 'the shits', considering next May 3rd I will have four weeks of paid vacation time with two paid floating holidays (not to mention the additional week I'd likely take off as sick time). It's not worth the transfer and expense to relocate to Los Angeles either.

After work I went to my gym in San Leandro. The nautilus equipment was slightly easier this time around. It's important to be consistent in my gym-going.

Once I returned home I received a call from Mike Miller.
"Hey Mike, what are you up to?"
"Oh well…I'm invited to a party tonight."
That ended that phone call. I wish I could have invited Mike but it wasn't my party.

Mark telephoned and arrived at my place at around 10PM. His brother, Phil, was with him. We all went to Cindy Ostegren's party. There were seventy percent "guys" at this party! We had a good time anyway. It's clear that Cindy only attracts guys and 'the girls' steer away from her. I enjoyed myself. We drank Lowenbrau beers. I had three of them under the stairwell. I did meet a girl named---'I forgot'. Oh well—she was a Computer Programmer for Hewlett-Packard.
Cindy peeped in on us and said, "I'll arrange a date for you provided I can accompany Mark."

I thought, "Oh boy—another double-date."

I wondered how tomorrow night's double-date turns out with Anne and Patty.

"To love one's self is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
-An Ideal Husband
1999 motion-picture

It's A Story

"I was beginning to contrive a dream of "us" being together."
-SOLDIERS GIRL
2002 motion-picture

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 4, 1986
Thursday

Frank, at The Placement Center, claims that the San Leandro Staff Representative position has been offered to someone.
He kept my hopes up by saying, "You still may have a chance at it though."
So, who knows?

I didn't bother to go to the gym today. Instead I evaluated my move to open a Capital Asset Account at CITICORP.

Mark Landreth telephoned. He was in good spirits as we made arrangements to go to Cindy Ostegren's party tomorrow (Friday) night.

I did my aerobics tape at home for a good hour. Then I decided to 'hit the hay'.

I wrote Mark Landreth a letter (See BLOG dated 07-14-2011, "The Guy"):
http://007gentleman.blogspot.com/2011/07/guy.html

I don't know if I'd ever give it to him though.
It's a story—a relatively true one.

"I have my music to warm my heart."
-Together,
2003 film from CHINA

Two Of Hearts

How much does a man live, afer all?
Does he live a thousand days, or one only?
For a week, or for several centuries?
How long does a man spend dying?
What does it mean to say "for ever"?
-Pablo Neruda

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 3, 1986
Wednesday

I cannot believe I arrived in San Francisco so early this morning. It's 6:30AM. One just never knows how the traffic conditions will be on a given day. The 6:30AM time is the usual time that I'd be waking-up. Oh well-I'm getting paid a bit extra for this 7AM overtime. Is it worth my NOT getting a worthwhile amount of sleep? I feel a trite fat this morning. I had intended on doing some aerobics last night. I didn't even get to do that.

That's quite complimentary (as I recall) when Johnny Schaefer said, "You are out of my league."
Perhaps I am out of a number of people's leagues (even so-called millionaires) like Leonard and Chad (a kid that has doctors as parents). I am happy with myself right now. That's of primary importance.

Ashley is with her other grandmother, Janet Lewis, until Thursday or Friday. I miss her already.
My mom said, "You know, I asked Ashley about her Uncle Mike going on the airplane."
"You did?" I asked.
"Yes, and she started to cry!"
"That's so sweet. It makes me feel so loved by her. She probably thought I was going far, far away and not coming back."

You know—I keep hearing this song by Stacey Q called TWO OF HEARTS. It heaps my desire and drive. I just LOVE this tune. The other one by The Human League called HUMAN is a good one, too.
TWO OF HEARTS music video:

Emmy Pena, a fat, jolly and friendly man in my office has just returned from a vacation in Hawaii. He is very, very dark from being in the sun for so long. It's unbelievable. He's so dark!

Margaret Lai and I ate lunch at B and M Chinese today. Yummy.

Mark Landreth didn't make it to the gym today. He couldn't locate his gym ID card.

Anne Alberti was at the gym. We will all likely go out this Saturday night to HORATIO's in Berkeley.

I was invited to Cindy Ostegren's party in Alameda (as Mark Landreth had said I might). I had called Mark about it; thereafter, Cindy called me. Mark's cool.

I decided to telephone Annabelle Montero and her brother, Mike, in Downey, CA once again. They both got on the phone and were happy to hear from me.
Annabelle said, "We may come up to San Francisco again in October."
"That's so funny. Mark and I were thinking of coming down to L.A. in October, for Halloween."
I have to tell Mark about the conversation. He'll be thrilled.

Kathy Ortega and Stu Western were at the gym. I rapped with them for a while. I feel OOS (Out Of Shape). The nautilus weight-training was hard for me tonight.
PHOTO: Fire Island

Paul Dean called me from New York. He's the aspiring actor I met on Fire Island. I had written him a card. I was surprised to hear from him.
I said, "You know, Paul, you're welcome to visit here in the Bay Area sometime…anytime."
He thanked me. I wonder if I'll ever hear from him again.

I also wrote a nice card to Jeanette Melcher in San Diego. I have yet to hear from her again.

I spoke to Suzy Miller today.
"You know, Suzy, you can move-in with me for three hundred dollars a month."
She seemed stunned and made me feel like it was too hefty a sum for her. It's a deal. Oh well, now I'm unsure about that one. She will likely not take me up on the offer.

I have to call Frank. He's a friend of Margaret Lai's that works at the Placement Center. He may be able to pull some strings for me on that Staff Representative position in San Leandro. We shall see.

Something new, a silent time of deeper thinking, had entered my life, and I associate it with those afternoons of silent reading.
-Janet Frame,
An Autobiography

Yearning for Help

I stood in the light of my desk lamp staring at the half dozen or so unanswered letters that lay in an untidy pile, and felt reassured by them. I was trying to soothe myself by remaining busy.
-Ian McEwan
"Enduring Love"

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 2, 1986
Tuesday

I called the JOBS HOTLINE telephone number today only to learn that there is a Staff Representative position available in San Leandro on Doolittle Drive (just minutes from my home). I immediately submitted for this job with my fingers tightly crossed. I have also decided to send my 'yearning for help' letters to the bigwigs at Pac Bell Directory. It's not always 'what you know' but 'who you know'. Maybe someone there can pull a few strings for me.

I was bummed out that it was so busy at work today. I didn't want to be there. I made the best of it.

Margaret Lai and I walked to Chinatown. It was fun and a nice afternoon diversion. While Margaret has transferred out of the SDC-Sales Development Center we are still buddies. Luckily, she is working in the same building.

I was truly lazy last night. I had intentions of bicycling but I chose to take a nap instead. I didn't even go to the gym. I ended up lounging, watching television and wrote out a few liability checks. I also wrote cover letters to the bigwigs I 'sort of know' at Pac Bell Directory. Then I simply went to bed.

We are having a Barbeque on Sunday at my house. Plans for Friday include a possible dinner or birthday party for Mark's friend (who lives in Alameda). Saturday night still holds true for that possible foursome dinner with me, Mark, Patty and Anne.

I am ready for a change somewhere in my life. I hope I get this San Leandro position. It would save time in commuting. Time is money, too. The Directory Sales Position would be better; however, one day it will come. I am sure of it.

I will make some phone calls tomorrow for information on Mutual Funds. I want to review the prospectus on many that have interested me.

I still never did return Johnny Schaefer's phone call. I must do that. I feel a tad guilty since he slipped this card in my luggage. The cover of the card had a quote from Oscar Wilde: "Life is too important to be taken seriously." Inside the card was imprinted 'Live it up!'
Then Johnny wrote:
Well, I think "live it up" is what we did this weekend, Mike.
Thanks for everything—I had a great time. I'm gonna miss you more than you know.
Come back whenever you want.
Always,
Johnny

Maybe we'll meet up for afternoon tea one day soon.

"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
-Henry James (1843-1916)

Art Deco Postings

"It's amazing what can be achieved with charm and a tight butt!
One flash--and even the waiters are friendly!"
-William Corlett
"Two Gentleman Sharing"

Twenty-five years ago today:

September 1, 1986
Monday

While at DENNY's I explained to Johnny Schaefer that I had no real commitments to anyone 'at this time'.
He nodded with interest.

I think his roommate, Jeff, might like me. He seemed to carry a slight attraction towards me. He's a blond, blue-eyed graphic artist.

Johnny asked, "How do you meet people?"
I laughed and explained, "I don't know. It just happens. I don't go out in search of people."
I could tell that he seemed a bit disturbed because I didn't comply with sensual suggestions that he made 'under pressure' tactics a la my leg on top of his. Ha-ha.
I explained, "I don't want to rush into anything."
I couldn't hear myself saying, "I'm really not attracted enough."
I had to be nice. In hindsight I now know that he was a mishap fling of initial excitement when we'd first met. There's no more to it except friendship (if he wants it).

I am on my way back home now. All in all my Labor Day Weekend in Los Angeles was fun and eventful. The moral of my 'trip' story is 'Have friends in every port…but leave limits where they belong and/or are appropriate'.

My AIR CAL flight got me in to Oakland International Airport in a timely manner. It was scary when I considered an Aero México flight that had crashed into a charter flight on Sunday. There were sixty-seven people on board. All of them were killed. How terrible to be wiped-out 'just like that'. Yikes.

Ma and Pa picked me up at the airport. I tagged along with mom and Sherri to South Shore Shopping Center. Mom bought me a thermal shirt and two t-shirts. She's a sweetheart. Why did she make these purchases for me? It's because she loves me…I guess.

I ate at mom's house and started to watch TV. It wasn't long when I decided to go home where I spent most of the night attaching all of my postcards together into some sort of art form in the spare room wall where I do all of my ironing.

I spoke to Frank Vaconcellos today (886-0700). He is still living in Hayward. His mom was very nice to me over the phone. Frank and I haven't seen or spoken to one another in months. We made a promise to get-together sometime soon.

Johnny Schaefer telephoned and left me a message on my recorder. I didn't return his call yet. I believe he just wanted to be sure I made it home okay.  That was very kind of him.

My postcard art deco postings were inspired by Jeff (Johnny's roommate) because he had done something similar to his room.

I don't feel like going to work.  My car is acting up.  It won't start-up smoothly—like it used to do. I am crossing my fingers that I won't have trouble until the end of the week.  I will most likely take the car in for servicing on Saturday at some Auto Repair Shop.


We lived in a mist of half-shared, unreliable perception, and our sense data came warped by prise of desire and belief, which tilted our memories, too.
-William Golding
"Lord of the Flies"