Joshua Becker's Blog, page 75

Becoming Minimalist’s Top Posts of 2018

A special thanks to each of you for making 2018 such an enjoyable year at Becoming Minimalist. It was my tenth.

This website continues to reach people beyond my wildest dreams as we grow every year in new and unbelievable ways. As before, this growth has occurred because of the support from readers like you—thank you for helping to spread the inspiration.

Thank you for sharing this website. But even more, thank you for sharing the life-giving message of owning less.

Here are some numeric representations of our growth:

Becoming Minimalist reaches 1.2M unique visitors/month.Our Facebook group grew from 855,000 to 1,300,000 followers.Twitter followers increased from 56,000 to 65,000.190,000 people currently receive Becoming Minimalist posts via email. Sign-up here to do the same. Simplify Magazine, our digital, quarterly magazine grew from 27,000 to 113,000 subscribers.10,100 new people went through our Uncluttered Course last year.

But some of our most significant successes this past year are not found in the numbers above:

The Minimalist Home was released on December 18. It is the most practical and comprehensive room-by-room guide to a decluttered, refocused life. And it sold out in hours—almost everybody misjudged how large this movement towards minimalism had become.I launched a magazine called  Simple Money Magazine . It is a quarterly, digital publication designed to help families become more intentional with their finances—a subject I am passionate about. Each issue gathers experts to tackle complex money issues in a simple way. The magazine is ad-free and entirely reader-supported.The Hope Effect, our non-profit continued to change how the world cares for orphans by focusing on new initiatives in Honduras and fully funding our project in San Luis Río Colorado, Mexico. To date, we have raised almost $600,000 for family-based orphan care around the world.Launched a YouTube Channel.

In case you missed any, here are the top posts on Becoming Minimalist from 2018.

Most Popular Posts from 2018 (as determined by readers):

7 Life-Changing Perspectives To Overcome Your Family’s Obsession with Stuff. If your family struggles with owning too much, consider these seven life-changing perspectives to help overcome your family’s obsession with stuff.

How to Craft A Life You Don’t Need to Escape From. Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.

12 Reasons I Like Owning Less. There are many reasons people live a minimalist life. Sometimes it is forced upon them. But that is not my story. I live a minimalist life because I like owning fewer things.

How to Handle Sentimental Clutter. What to do with the sentimental things you’ve collected over the years.

20 Places to Donate Used Books. Books are an important part of our lives. When we decide it’s time to part with them, we want to know they are going to a nice home where they can continue to enrich and improve other people’s lives.

My Personal Favorite Posts from the past year:

Jump While You Can. Jump while you can. Because life changes quickly. And there may come a day soon when you are not able to jump. 

Focus on the Reasons You Can. It is vitally important to discipline ourselves to focus our thoughts on the reasons we can, rather than the reasons we can’t.

THAT Person is More Important Than Your Phone. There’s nothing wrong with phones. I appreciate all the positive changes they have brought into my life. But too often, they distract us from the people around us—both friends and strangers.

Still the Most Important Piece of Financial Advice You’ll Ever Receive. There’s a reason ten out of ten financial advisors recommend it.

Most Popular Guest Posts in 2018:

Want to Lead a Happy Life? Science Says to Focus on These 10 Things by Jay Harrington. It’s clear from the science that the acquisition of bigger and better things won’t make us more happy. So what will?

The Endowment Effect: Why You Can’t Let Go Of Your Possessions by Louis Chew. The Endowment Effect is the tendency for us to overvalue things we own. It explains why we are so unwilling to give something up once we have ownership of it.

I Joyfully Decluttered These 5 Things to Boost Happiness by Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui. It is neither the pursuit of simplicity nor absence of stuff alone that determines my happiness.

What I’ve Learned From Not Buying Anything For the Past 6 Months by Britt. After six months on the no-buy train, I’ve learned a thing or two about myself, my consumption habits, and the process of shopping bans themselves.

Most Popular Outgoing Links from the past year:

Extreme Frugality Allowed Me to Retire at 32 – and Regain Control of My Life by Elizabeth Willard Thames. Elizabeth abandoned a successful career in the city and embraced frugality to create a more meaningful life. It enabled her to retire at 32 with her family to a homestead in the Vermont woods.

Seven Things I’d Do Differently If I Got A Minimalist Do-Over by Britt. Now that I’m five years in, I’ve had the chance to reflect. If I became a minimalist today, there are a few things I would do differently.

4 Things We Think We Need Today that Won’t Matter at All in the Long Run by Marc and Angel Chernoff. Most of us suffer from a severe misalignment of our priorities, even though, deep down, we know our lives are quickly passing us by.

9 Hard Truths About Clutter You Need to Hear by Erica Layne. Once we’ve decided we’re done owning belongings, they don’t magically cease to exist. 

Whether you have been reading Becoming Minimalist for one week, one month, one year or longer, thank you. This blog owes its success to the support of its readers. Thank you for reading. And thank you for sharing these posts with others.

We look forward to an exciting 2019. 

I am excited about the early popularity of The Minimalist Home and the opportunities that might arise from it. Uncluttered will be launched three times this year. The first edition of 2019 begins on January 15th. You can sign-up now to receive an email notification when we open registration on January 1st.

No doubt, in the coming year, Becoming Minimalist will continue to evolve and be redefined. But it will always stay true to its core message that there is more joy to be found in owning less than can be found in pursuing more.

We will continue to invite as many as possible to discover this truth in their lives. And I hope you will join us.

The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life

My new book, The Minimalist Home, is now available! I’ve been working on this book for 2+ years and I’m glad it is finally available.

The Minimalist Home is the most practical and comprehensive room-by-room guide to a decluttered, refocused life. 

In it, I’ve brought together all my key teachings on minimalism. Addressing all the usual concerns, I’m also covering the whole house—every space you’ll find in a typical home—in methodical fashion. I loaded the book with handy lists, inspiring testimonials, special topics that will help you form your own strategies for minimizing, and other tools to make it valuable for you to turn to again and again. 

If you’re going to own only one book on minimalism to make a lasting change in your home and life, this is it!

What People Are Saying

“Like a lighthouse on a stormy sea, The Minimalist Home appeared.”  —USA Today

“Joshua Becker takes you through all the benefits and strategies for creating your minimalist home, and he includes practical step-by-step tactics and checklists to create and maintain your spaces. Most importantly, you will gain a complete understanding of the value that minimalism brings to you and your family.” —Ellen R. Delap, President of the National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals

“It’s a bit ironic that I’m recommending you acquire one more thing to explore living more fully by owning less: Joshua Becker’s book The Minimalist Home. But I am. It’s exactly what we all need—a slim read that’s packed with all-new information, authentic stories, and tried-and-true solutions to life’s relentless clutter. “—Mary Kay Buysse, Executive Director of National Association of Senior Move Managers

I’m proud of the book. If you have found benefit from my writing here on Becoming Minimalist, you will enjoy and appreciate The Minimalist Home.

Where to Find The Minimalist Home

The book is available in three formats:

—Physical / Hardcover

You can support your community by purchasing The Minimalist Home at your local bookstore. It’s available everywhere. 

The hardcover book is also available through every online bookseller:

Amazon Barnes & Noble Books-a-MillionCBD IndieboundTarget WalMart Book Depository (for Int’l readers)

The book contains checklists, room review questions, and a Minimalist Maintenance Guide. It is written to be a reference book for you on your journey. For that reason, I recommend the hardcover edition to people. But let’s be honest, the best format is the one you will finish.

—Ebook

The Minimalist Home can be found for any mobile device:

Kindle Nook iBooks Kobo

—Audiobook

I personally narrated The Minimalist Home audiobook. Find it here:

Audible 

—International

If you are outside the USA, check your regional Amazon site for pricing and release dates (the regions vary significantly). If you are not satisfied with the offer or a delayed release date, Book Depository is currently offering free worldwide shipping for The Minimalist Home.

Helpful Bonus Resources

If you purchase The Minimalist Home before Friday, December 21, I’ll throw in some helpful bonus resources for your journey: 

Access to a private webinar and Q&A with me.Companion Reading Guide: 21-Day Minimalism Motivation Guide (PDF). Printable: Minimalist Home Room Guide. Printable: Minimalist Home Review Guide. 33% discount to the Uncluttered Course. 

To claim the bonuses, complete this form using your receipt/order number from an online or in-store purchase.

Who Says We Need Changing Fashion, Anyway?

This article is an excerpt from The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life. My new book releases tomorrow.

A few months after I started my minimalism journey, a headline on my computer caught my attention: “Top 10 Colors Define a Season of Change.”

According to the article, “the Fall ’08 palette is best described as a season of change and is defined by rich, elegant hues that offer a vibrant selection. New York’s fashion designers emphasize cooler blues, greens and purples in the top five tones used in their collections, followed by variations of warm red, orange and yellow.”

I wondered, Who gets to decide what the must-have colors are going to be for fall 2008? I mean, is there a committee somewhere that makes these kinds of decisions? Does it just so happen that a large number of people are enthusiastically drawn to the same colors at the same time? Or is there something else happening here? Is this an orchestrated effort?

It occurred to me that, if I were running the fashion industry, it would be helpful for me to change the in-fashion colors and styles often. This way, people would have to buy new clothes to keep up with the trends, which would result in more money flowing into my industry. All parts of the supply chain would benefit: designers, manufacturers, retailers, and anyone else who makes a living off the selling of clothes.

This is just what’s happening. If the fashion industry wasn’t intentionally telling us that our old clothes were out of style, we’d probably stop buying their product. After all, we already have enough clothes in our closet to last quite some time.

The US apparel industry today is a $12 billion business, and the average American family spends $1,700 on clothes annually. On average, that’s 3.5 percent of a family’s expenses—arguably not much—but what’s more significant is whether that money is spent on need or waste. The answer, largely, is waste. Americans throw away 13 million tons of textiles each year, accounting for 9 percent of total nonrecycled waste.

It hasn’t always been like that. Our appetite for clothing is demonstrably growing. According to Forbes, “In 1930, the average American woman owned nine outfits. In 2015 that figure was 30 outfits—one for every day of the month.” The same trend is occurring in Britain, where in 2006 “women bought twice as many clothes as they had just ten years earlier.” The Daily Mail reports that the average woman in the United Kingdom has twenty-two items in her closet that she will never wear but refuses to throw out.

Among its other drawbacks, the practice of overbuying clothes is expensive. About half of US women have between $1,000 and $5,000 worth of clothing and shoes in their closets. The fashion magazine that reported these numbers also said, “A lucky 9 percent report having apparel and accessories that total over $10,000.” Lucky? Well, that’s one way to look at it. These same women also have over $10,000 less in their savings accounts.

Incredibly to me, one study revealed “women have fashion on the brain 91 times in a given day—that’s more than four times the amount that men think about sex.”

I don’t mean to pick on women. Men make too much of fashion and hang on to too many clothes as well. (I should know, because when I became a minimalist, I got rid of an embarrassing number of my own items of clothing.) Ties dating back to the previous decade, if not century. Dress clothes that we might wear if we have the right sort of business meeting. Shoes for more occasions than we’ll ever actually encounter. Men can be clothes hoarders just as much as women.

So I have to ask:

“Is all this clothes buying and storing benefiting our lives in any way?”

In his well-known book The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz argued that it is not. He said, “Freedom and autonomy are critical to our well-being, and choice is critical to freedom and autonomy. Nonetheless, though modern Americans have more choice than any group of people ever has had before, and thus, presumably, more freedom and autonomy, we don’t seem to be benefiting from it psychologically.”

His argument, stated throughout the book and reproduced in studies, is that more choice does not mean better living.

As choice increases, so does paralysis of decision. Ever stare into a full closet of clothes and still have no idea what to wear? As options increase, so does the sense of bewilderment and frustration. Additionally, an abundance of choice often results in less satisfaction and sometimes poorer decisions.

It would seem from everything we’ve been told that more clothes hanging in our closets would lead to a happier life. But psychologically and scientifically, that is simply not the case. In fact, often, more choice leads to less happiness—the paradox of choice. Not to mention the unending frustration of having to keep up with ever-changing trends.

Maybe getting our money makes the leaders of the fashion industry happy. But buying excessive quantities of their products isn’t doing the same for us.

—

This article is an excerpt from Chapter 5 of my new book, The Minimalist Home. Read more here. 

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Never underestimate the importance of removing stuff you don’t need.

Encouragement provides us with motivation to persevere. It invites us to dream dreams of significance for our lives. And it begs us to work diligently with optimism and promise.

Overcoming the pull of consumerism is a difficult challenge regardless of our stage in life. Simplicity requires encouragement. To that end, I hope you will find motivation in these articles below.

Each post was intentionally chosen to inspire simplicity in your life. For maximum effect, find a quiet moment this weekend and enjoy them with a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

Declutter Your Life: Why Becoming a Minimalist is a Win-Win For Your Finances | USA Today by Peter Dunn. It’s hard not to think of a journey toward minimalism as a win-win. You get rid of junk, live a cleaner, more organized life and potentially end up with more money and nicer possessions. Sign. Me. Up.

The Joy of No-Gift Christmas | The Atlantic by Joe Pinsker. Many families who opt out of buying stuff are coming up with creative alternatives and new traditions.

10 Clutter-Clearing Strategies that Will Gradually Make Your Life 100 Times Easier | The Life on Purpose Movement by Erica Layne. How do we create the clutter-free homes we’re dreaming of?

The Reason Many Ultrarich People Aren’t Satisfied With Their Wealth | The Atlantic by Joe Pinsker. At a certain point, another million dollars doesn’t make anything newly affordable. That’s when other motivations take over.

To The Mom Who Struggles To Afford Christmas | Karen Sincerely by Karen Sincerely. Look at those little ones, see the joy and sparkle in their eyes. What matters to them is the magic of it all and you mama, you matter to them.

The Empty Christmas Box

Christmas is for love. It is for joy, for giving and sharing, for laughter, for faith, and for reuniting with family and friends. But, mostly Christmas is for love. I had not believed this until a small elfin like pupil with wide innocent eyes and soft rosy cheeks gave me a wondrous gift one Christmas.

Matthew was a 10 year old orphan who lived with his aunt, a bitter, middle aged woman greatly annoyed with the burden of caring for her dead sister’s son. She never failed to remind young Matthew, if it hadn’t been for her generosity, he would be a vagrant, homeless stray. Still, with all the scolding and chilliness at home, he was a sweet and gentle child.

I had not noticed Matthew particularly until he began staying after class each day [at the risk of arousing his aunt’s anger so I learned later] to help me straighten up the room. We did this quietly and comfortably, not speaking much, but enjoying the solitude of that hour of the day. When we did talk, Matthew spoke mostly of his mother. Though he was quite young when she died, he remembered a kind, gentle, loving woman who always spent time with him.

As Christmas drew near however, Matthew failed to stay after school each day. I looked forward to his coming, and when the days passed and he continued to scamper hurriedly from the room after class, I stopped him one afternoon and asked him why he no longer helped me in the room. I told him how I had missed him, and his large brown eyes lit up eagerly as he replied, “Did you really miss me?”

I explained how he had been my best helper, “I was making you a surprise,” he whispered confidentially. “It’s for Christmas.” With that, he became embarrassed and dashed from the room. He didn’t stay after school any more after that.

Finally came the last school day before Christmas. Matthew crept slowly into the room late that afternoon with his hands concealing something behind his back. “I have your present,” he said timidly when I looked up. I hope you like it.” He held out his hands, and there lying in his small palms was a tiny wooden box.

“It’s beautiful, Matthew. Is there something in it?” I asked opening the top to look inside. “Oh you can’t see what’s in it,” he replied, “and you can’t touch it, or taste it or feel it, but mother always said it makes you feel good all the time, warm on cold nights and safe when you’re all alone.”

I gazed into the empty box. “What is it, Matthew” I asked gently, “that will make me feel so good?”

“It’s love,” he whispered softly, “and mother always said it’s best when you give it away. So I am giving you mine.” He turned and quietly left the room.

So now I keep a small box crudely made of scraps of wood on the piano in my living room and only smile when inquiring friends raise quizzical eyebrows when I explain to them there is love in it.

—Author Unknown

THAT Person is More Important Than Your Phone

I took my kids to the eye doctor earlier this week—optometrist is the word if I wanted to sound smart.

While in the waiting room, I watched an event unfold. I thought I’d share it with you.

A young child emerged from the examination room followed by the doctor and I assume, the child’s mother. On the other side of the waiting room, sat the child’s father and older brother, I’m guessing somewhere in his early teens.

The older brother, as is typically the case these days, was playing on his phone while awaiting his turn with the doctor. The father flipped through a magazine. Pretty standard stuff.

As the doctor walked toward the father and son, mom and daughter headed off into the showroom to pick out new frames (that’s always the hardest part—picking out new glasses).

When the doctor arrived, the father put down his magazine and turned his attention toward the optometrist to get a summary of the appointment: Nothing to worry about, everything was fine. A slight increase in prescription was recommended, but nothing out of the ordinary.

The father asked a few follow-up questions. His eyes were locked in on the doctor absorbing as much of the conversation as he could.

His son, on the other hand, took a different posture. Throughout the entire interaction, the son continued on his phone—focused on whatever might be drawing the attention of teenage boys these days. He did look up briefly, but I assume only at points in the game that were not important. For the most part, he was involved with his phone.

I wanted to nudge him. I wanted to lean over to the young boy and whisper, “Put down your phone for a second. I know you don’t know the doctor, and the conversation taking place may not affect you, but that is a human being standing right in front of you. And THAT person, whether you know him or not, is more important than your phone.”

It was a memorable moment—the words I wanted to say—not because I blamed the child, or the father, or the doctor, or anyone else. It was memorable because the statement I wanted to whisper wasn’t just about the young boy. The statement was about me—about all of us really.

When my wife walks into the room, do I stop what I’m doing on my phone or computer? I should. Because she is more important than my phone.

When my kids walk into the room, do I stop what I’m doing on my phone? I should. Because they are more important than my phone.

While spending time with my extended family and loved ones over the Christmas season, together in the same living room, will I stop what I’m doing on my phone and be present with them? I should. Those people, after all, are more important than my phone.

But this extends beyond our closest family and friends, this same courtesy should be extended to every human being. A human being does not receive their worth on whether I know them or not. They are valuable, they are important, they are worthy of my attention—whether I’ve ever met them before or not.

I think that’s what struck so deep about the events in the waiting room that day. The young man did not know the doctor, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is more important than a game on a phone.

When I order my coffee, do I stop everything else I’m doing, put down my phone, look the barista in the eye, and offer a smile? I should. Because THAT person is more important than my phone.

So is the bank teller, the gas station attendant, and the bell ringer sitting outside the doors at Wal-Mart collecting money for the poor. THAT person is more important than my phone.

The waitress, the cashier, the stock boy, the young child in front of me at McDonalds, the UPS man, the gentleman pumping gas next to me, the doctor, the attorney, the co-worker (even the annoying one)… they are all more important than my phone.

There’s nothing wrong with phones. I appreciate all the positive changes they have brought into my life. But too often, they distract us from the people around us—both friends and strangers.

This holiday season, let’s adopt an approach to life (and our phones) that directs value where it belongs.

The next time you have opportunity to direct attention toward another human being, keep this reminder in mind: THAT person is more important than my phone.

Want to Enjoy More of Your Holiday Season? Remove These 10 Things.

I love the holiday season. It’s one of the most memorable times of the year and a reminder for all of us to focus life on important things.

But it can often become a season of hurry, rush, and stress. We add commitments and events and consumerism to our already-crowded lives during the holidays. In our desire to make the most of it, we begin to lose sight of the true joy of the season.

Unfortunately, busy and “rushed” rarely leads to a merry holiday. If you want to enjoy more of your holiday season this year, identify what to remove.

Start with These Ten:
1. Excessive Gift-Giving.

Giving gifts is just fine, but excessive gift giving benefits no one. It adds debt, obligation, and financial burden to the life of the gift-giver and clutter to the home of the gift-receiver. Over half of us will receive an unwanted gift this holiday season. Make sure you’re not the one giving it.

2. Overspending.

Half of shoppers will overspend their holiday budget. To enjoy your season, stay within the financial limitations you have set yourself. Here are some helpful ideas to accomplish that. You can’t spend your way into a merrier season anyway.

3. Traditions that Don’t Serve You.

Holidays are holidays and traditions are traditions. But traditions are not the holiday. Maybe Rachel Jonat said it best, “We don’t have to continue holiday traditions that leave us broke, overwhelmed, and tired.” If a specific holiday tradition is not adding value to your season, end it.

4. Unnecessary Commitments.

The holiday season is known for its heightened sense of obligation. Work parties, neighborhood parties, club parties, holiday festivities… and the list goes on and on. Quick reminder: You are in charge of your holiday calendar and you do not need to appear everywhere you are invited. Lighten your schedule. If a commitment is unnecessary and not helping you make the most of your holiday season, cancel it.

5. Shopping “Sales.”

Retail stores are full of tricks to get you separated from your money. Sales racks are one of their methods. Most often, shopping the “sales” (whether they be in-store, online, or printed on mailers) results in buying things we never intended to purchase. Keep in mind, if you didn’t know you needed it until you saw it on sale, you don’t need it! Rather than shopping the sales rack, keep to your list instead.

6. Overeating.

Eating delicious food with family and friends is an enjoyable part of our holiday season. So, please enjoy. But do it responsibly. Emergency room visits increases 25 percent to 50 percent after the holidays because of overeating, over-drinking, and people not following their diets. Here’s your recipe for a more enjoyable holiday season: Enjoy yourself, but don’t overdo it. Your January you will thank you as well.

7. Trying to Create the “Perfect Holiday.”

’Tis the season for unreasonable expectations. We often get so frustrated and weary chasing the perfect holiday that we never take time to enjoy the one right in front of us. But once we slow down enough to notice our blessings, we begin to see that we already have everything we need for a perfect holiday season.

8. Holding Long-Held Grudges.

The holiday season is to be a celebration of peace, goodwill, and reconciliation. Yet, for many families, thoughts of peace rarely accompany the holidays. Instead, the exact opposite is all too common. Years of bitterness, resentment, and depression have been piled on top of misconceptions, misunderstandings, and misbehavior. This year, give the gift of overdue peace.

9. Envy.

Envy and jealousy foster discontent and distress. They bind our freedom, lead to resentment, cause us to do things we wouldn’t normally do, and can spiral into depression. But during the holiday season, people are prone to them. We compare our decorated homes, our holiday meals, the money we have to spend, and the amount of wrapped boxes under a plastic tree. Comparing yourself to others is no way to enjoy your holiday season. Appreciating what you have and not expecting more is the best way to enjoy your holiday. Actually, it’s the only way.

10. Your Home’s Clutter.

Excess possessions add burden onto our lives. They make entertaining more difficult and increase the weight of ordinary chores. Because the holiday season often means more possessions entering our home, our existing clutter adds to the frustration. And nobody likes piling clutter on top of clutter. Remove the unneeded possessions from your home. You’ll love a more relaxed, clutterfree holiday season.

The old adage is true: Less is more. Removing the items above from your holiday season will not cause you to sacrifice joy this holiday season—it will bring more of it.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Every two weeks, I post a list of inspiring articles to help you on your journey to own less.

I do this for two reasons. First, the journey toward owning less is countercultural and encouragement is helpful. Second, I think it is important to draw attention to other writers, journalists, and creators promoting the benefits of minimalism. The increased exposure is an encouragement to them and important for their publishers to see the interest people have in articles that promote simplicity.

This week, maybe more than any other, I had a hard time narrowing down the articles to share. There were so many good ones! So I’ve expanded the list beyond the usual four articles to six. I hope you don’t mind:

Dying in Style | Simplify Magazine by Audrey Parker. This moving piece was written by Audrey during the final week of her life. The focus is on dying well, by learning to live well. It was written for the December 1 issue of the magazine. Because of the nature of the piece, we have made it available to everyone, with or without a subscription.

Here’s why a New Jersey middle school teacher is wearing the same dress for 100 days | Good Morning America by Hayley FitzPatrick. She started the project in early September to show that people shouldn’t be defined or labeled by the clothing they wear.

10 Situations When We Lose Our Common Sense and Buy Useless Stuff | Bright Side. All of us have probably experienced situations where we’ve entered a grocery store to buy bread and left with bags full of different foods. Why does this happen?

An Inventory of All My Possessions, Before and After I Moved Apartments | The New Yorker by Nicole Boyce. I thought I had a decent grasp on the number of things that I owned. But then I moved, and it became clear that I did not.

Stores Use These Tricks to Get You to Spend Money. Don’t Fall For It. | Vox by Chavie Lieber. Two experts explain the psychology of sales, coupons, and gifting.

Why We Buy More Than We Need | Forbes by Joshua Becker. When you stop to think about it, it becomes a very fascinating question. What thinking would compel somebody to spend money on things they didn’t actually need in the first place?

—

The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life. My new book will be released on Tuesday, December 18. If you order the book now, you can receive exclusive bonuses to help you minimize your home. Info.

Practice Generosity with The Hope Effect on Giving Tuesday

If you’ve spent much time reading Becoming Minimalist, you know generosity is a recurring theme.

My life improved dramatically when I stopped accumulating possessions. As a result of that important decision, I discovered greater opportunity to practice generosity—with my money, my time, and my energy. When the pursuit of material possessions is removed, it’s easier to focus on others.

This is a story I’ve heard countless times from people around the world. When people discover minimalism, they also find contentment and generosity. There is a powerful rhythm between the two.

And over the last few years, I’ve seen that generosity from the Becoming Minimalist community. This month marks the three-year anniversary of The Hope Effect—the nonprofit organization we launched in November 2015. This community has supported us from the beginning, and I’m so grateful. The advance from my book contract for The More of Less and The Minimalist Home funded the administrative costs and this community has provided most of the finances needed for the work we are accomplishing.

The Hope Effect’s mission is to change how the world cares for orphans. In developing countries, orphans are frequently placed in institutional care, which can have damaging effects on children. Children raised in institutions often have stunted development and delayed learning abilities.

We know there’s a better way. We know that every child deserves a family.

That’s why we are working to implement family-based orphan care solutions that provide opportunities for children to flourish and thrive. Our model of care is based on smaller homes made up of two parents and 6-8 children. This allows children to receive more individual attention and care while growing up in a stable, family environment.

In 2018, much of our work has been in San Luis Río Colorado, Mexico, a small town located on the U.S.-Mexico border.

The Hope Effect is the first to seek government approval to provide family-based care in the State of Sonora, Mexico. Because we are pioneering this new model of orphan care, it’s been a lengthy process. But once we have approval from the Mexican government, the benefits will extend far beyond SLRC. We are beginning our work in that city, but we look forward to bringing family-style solutions to additional locations in Sonora. And by breaking new ground, we’ll pave the way for other organizations to provide family-based care in Mexico as well.

As we go through the process of obtaining government approval, we’ve been building relationships and forming connections in San Luis. One of our first actions was to partner with the city’s DIF (Mexico’s version of Child Protective Services), which has allowed us to work with the children currently in government care.

It’s clear these children are desperately in need of families. Over the last several months, we’ve learned their stories and we can see the impact that institutional care is having on them.

One of the little girls in the orphanage, Rosa*, has a story that illustrates this urgency and the importance of the work we are bringing. Rosa came to the DIF facility shortly after she was born, and she’s now almost four years old. At first, Rosa’s aunt would visit her a few times a year, but for whatever reason, her aunt wasn’t able to adopt her. Over the last several months, her aunt has stopped coming. Now, we are Rosa’s only visitors.

This young girl has never known life outside the orphanage. She’s never had parental interaction. She’s never known the love of a family. The orphanage staff does the best it can, but the institution cannot possibly replace a family.

Rosa belongs in a family. She deserves a family. And she needs to get out of the orphanage. The sad truth is that as she gets older, she is statistically less and less likely to be adopted. But because of legal issues and paperwork delays, Rosa is currently not even eligible to be adopted.

Children like Rosa need us to change how the world cares for orphans. Rosa needs us to stand up for her, communicate her story, and work to find better solutions for her… and the countless other orphaned children around the world.

If you want to make a difference in the lives of children like Rosa, we invite you to join us in this important work of providing families for orphans. Today is Giving Tuesday, an international day celebrating generosity. If you partner with us today, your donation will go toward our work in San Luis Río Colorado.

Even better—one of The Hope Effect’s generous supporters has offered to match every donation made today…up to $20,000! Your gift will be doubled. As always, because our US-based administrative costs are covered by private donors, we commit to you that 100% of your donation will be used directly for orphan care work—every single penny. And if we reach the entire match amount, our project in San Luis Río Colorado will be fully funded!

The Hope Effect is a 501(c)(3) organization, so your donation is tax-deductible within the U.S. If you have additional questions about The Hope Effect, send us an email. We’d love to hear from you and answer any questions you might have. We are passionate about the work we are doing and love interacting with others who want to hear more.

I am so grateful that the Becoming Minimalist community has embraced this mission over the last few years. Every gift has such an impact in the lives of children around the world.

Together, we are changing how the world cares for orphans.

*Name has been changed to protect the privacy of the child.

Is It Time for Us to Rethink How We Give Gifts?

“Twenty-five years ago, Christmas was not the burden that it is now. There was less haggling and weighing, less quid pro quo, less fatigue of body, less wearing of soul; and, most of all, there was less loading up with trash.” —Meredith Deland in Harper’s Bazaar, 1904

Giving gifts is an expression of love, and it has been for thousands of years. Well before our consumer-driven society, people offered gifts as a sign of respect and admiration. Kings, peasants, and everyone in-between.

This is not an argument for no longer giving gifts to people we love. I think giving gifts is great. But I do think it would be wise for us to rethink how we give them.

And the sooner, the better:

28% of shoppers are entering the holiday season still paying off debt from last year’s gift shopping!

Over 50% of holiday shoppers either overspend their holiday budget or do not set one at all.

Consumers who went into debt over the holiday season racked up an average of $1,054 in new debt over the timeframe.

I suppose this might be okay if our gifts were legitimately enriching the lives of other people. But the statistics say otherwise:

53.1% of people report to receiving unwanted gifts during Christmas.

$16 billion is wasted on unwanted gifts every year.

Some reports indicate up to 18% of gifts are never used by the person who receives them. 4% are immediately thrown into the trash.

Whenever I speak on minimalism and take questions afterward, the two most common questions are 1) How do I implement minimalism in a family? And 2) How do I handle and/or tell loved ones to stop giving me so many gifts?

And none of this even begins to mention the amount of stress and worry piled on to the holiday season with our attitudes toward gift-giving.

As someone recently said to me, “Thanksgiving may be my favorite holiday season. It’s got family and food and tradition. It’s just like Christmas, but without the gift-giving expectations and stress.”

I think it’s time we rethought how we approached the act of gifting gifts during the holiday season. Our current approach is not benefiting the people we love, nor is it adding to the joy of the season.

Times have changed.

For one, material goods exist in far greater excess than ever before. Consider this, human beings own more “things” today than at any point in human history. In America, the average home has tripled in size in the last 50 years. And still 10% of Americans rent offsite storage to house their stuff… and an even higher percentage can’t park their car in the garage because it’s too full. We’ve reached peak-stuff. People don’t want more, they want less (the growth of this blog and the minimalist movement over the years since it began stand as proof).

Additionally, and probably more important, very few people wait for the holidays to receive what they want anymore. Because goods have become so accessible and inexpensive, a high percentage of people just go buy whatever they want, whenever they want. This leads to countless moments of saying, “I don’t know what to get __________, he already has everything.” I can remember that phrase being said 30 years ago. But nowadays, it’s true about far more people than ever before.

I honestly think it’s time for us as a society to start rethinking our holiday gift-giving attitudes.

This has happened before. Most historians trace our current attitude toward Christmas shopping back to the 1850’s. This may seem like a long time ago. But 150 years, compared to the timeline of human history, is not all that long.

Our thinking as a society toward gift giving has changed in the past, and it can do so again.

How do we bring about this change?

1. We keep the conversation alive. Share this article. Or share others that are similar. Start the conversation among your friends and family members.

2. Control what you can. Request a change in what you personally receive. Ask for no gifts this year or ask that the money be donated to a charity rather than spent on clutter.

3. Look for buy-in among like-minded people.

Before buying a whole bunch of stuff for your loved ones this holiday season, ask if your loved ones even want a whole bunch of stuff this holiday season. (tweet that)

Or look for new traditions in your family. Maybe you only buy gifts for people under the age of 18. Or decide to limit the amount of gift-giving stress by drawing names, rather than everyone buying gifts for everyone else.

Approach the conversation with your family. Many families have changed how they give gifts, and most people are thankful for the change. It usually just takes one person to approach the others with a new idea. But now is the time to have that conversation.

4. Find new ways to give gifts. Look to consumables, experiences, or pooling money for one significant gift rather than piles under the tree.

5. Find new ways to make the season memorable. Holidays are important. They establish tradition, stability, and shared experiences among family members. Look for new ways to promote memories (time together, meals together, religious experiences together) that do not center around stuffing used wrapping paper into a trash bag.

It will take effort to change societal expectations around our current gift-giving habits—especially with the amount of money being spent to encourage it. But we can start with our families, and allow them to enjoy the freedom of new expectations first.