Joshua Becker's Blog, page 123

12 Simple Ideas to Spread Holiday Cheer This Week

“In every encounter we either give life or we drain it; there is no neutral exchange.” —Brennan Manning

A popular Christmas song boldly declares, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year.”

Yet, for many this is rarely the case. Some will be celebrating the holidays for the first time without a loved one. Feelings of isolation, loneliness, or betrayal will be multiplied over the coming weeks. Often times unmet expectations of the holiday season mix with the grey and gloom of winter to bring deep levels of depression. And for most people, the hustle and bustle of extra shopping, extra parties, crowded parking lots and check-out lines lead to greater stress than other times of the year.

Yes, indeed, the most wonderful time of the year is too often felt as the most difficult.

But we can change that.

Well, we probably can’t change it for everybody. But we can intentionally spread some holiday cheer this week and make it a little more wonderful for somebody. And if we can brighten one person’s day, maybe their smile can brighten one more.

Plus, given the fact the quickest way to find happiness is to help someone else find theirs, intentionally spreading holiday cheer is the best way to find it ourselves. Consider this list of simple ideas you could complete this week. Most of them cost less than $20 and will take less than 10 minutes.

12 Uniquely Simple Ideas to Spread Some Holiday Cheer

1. Handwrite a letter. The handwritten letter has become a lost art in our world. During the holiday season, the handwritten letter has been replaced by the mass produced-family-photo-card-purchased-on-Shutterfly. And in a world where handwritten letters have been forgotten, their uniqueness and value increases dramatically. So find yourself 10 minutes, a stamp, and an envelope. Choose an old friend with a current street address and put some of your thoughts of appreciation on paper. You’ll be glad you did. And it will be the best piece of mail your friend receives this holiday season.

2. FaceTime/Skype an old friend. Technology has entirely changed our lives. In my lifetime alone, the idea of video conferencing with a friend has gone from far-fetched science fiction to cultural norm. Use it to your advantage by connecting face-to-face with an old friend or a friend halfway around the world. It doesn’t need to be too long, just lengthy enough to wish them a happy holiday and maybe compare how much the children have grown.

3. Buy coffee for a stranger. Next time you roll through the drive-thru of your local coffee shop, offer to pay for yourself and the person behind you (if they have already ordered, the cashier should have their bill handy). Or better yet, a little trick I learned from a friend is to leave a $20 bill with the cashier after you pay and ask him/her to pay for the following customers until the $20 runs out. Either way, coupled with their favorite beverage, this pleasant surprise is guaranteed to brighten someone’s day.

4. Smile and joke with your next cashier. The hustle and bustle and stress-filled shopping days leading up to Christmas results in plenty of customer-frustration. Parking lots are crowded, shelves are empty, aisles are full, and check-out lines are long. During these days in retail, even the simplest of smiles from a customer is too rare and fleeting. Next time you reach the front of the check-out line, make the most of your interaction by smiling, engaging, and flashing a little humor.

5. Leave a nice tip. Rare is the waiter or waitress getting wealthy at their job serving food to patrons. Most of the servers I know are working the shift just trying to make the ends meet for themselves and their family. An extra $20 added to their nightly tip will certainly bring some extra holiday cheer—especially during a busy time of the year when they’d rather be home with their family.

6. Buy movie tickets for a family in your neighborhood. Know somebody on your block who has fallen into some difficult financial times? How ’bout putting some movie gift cards in an envelope and leaving it on their doorstep? Time with family is always good. And some holiday entertainment may be just the distraction they need to finally experience a little cheer.

7. Ask your religious friend about the story behind the season. Christians, Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, and other religions all celebrate important dates and remembrances during the month of December. The next time you are at a holiday party, ask your spiritual friend the story behind their religion’s celebration. Almost certainly, their eyes will light up that somebody expressed interest in something so important to them. And whether you choose to believe the story or not, you will become better informed about another culture’s understanding of the season. Win-win.

8. Invite someone over for dinner. For any number of reasons, there are many people alone during the holidays. If you know someone alone this season, open your house to them for a meal. Rather than infringing on your holiday traditions, it may just become one of your favorites.

9. Send a gift of food/coffee. There are countless inexpensive, clutter-free gift ideas that can be shipped nearly anywhere in the world. With minimal expense and just a few mouse clicks, you can easily send an edible gift to show someone your appreciation for them. For example, a good friend just gifted me a membership to Mistobox. Needless to say, its arrival is virtually guaranteed to spread some holiday cheer into my coffee mug.

10. Shovel your neighbor’s driveway. I learned it from my dad years ago. Now granted, with the prevalence of snowblowers nowadays, this early morning surprise may be a little less appreciated than in years past. But if you can bring a little cheer to your neighbor’s face on a cold, snowy morning during the holiday season, your good deed will not go unnoticed—and will likely get mentioned by the recipient as soon as they arrive at work. And when it does, it will sound something like this, “You’ll never guess what my neighbor did for me this morning…”

11. Bring in a warm breakfast for your office. Doughnuts are great. I mean, everybody loves the guy who brings in doughnuts. But to take it even one step further this holiday season, bring in something warm for your officemates to eat. If the timing is right, you can bring in something homemade. But I once had a boss unexpectedly bring in 25 various breakfast sandwiches from McDonalds and place them on the counter for the office staff. Certainly, it cost him a lot more than a dozen doughnuts. But I still talk about those breakfast sandwiches even 5 years later.

12. Go ahead, sing along. Whether in your car, in the office, or in the store, you know the songs. They get played every year. And quite frankly, some of them are pretty darn catchy. So go ahead, sing along when you get the chance. It’ll brighten your mood and almost certainly the mood of the person next to you as well. Even if singing isn’t your strongest talent, you can always hum along. Remember, cheerfulness is contagious.

We probably can’t change the entire world with these simple ideas. But we can still intentionally seek to add life and cheer to the people around us. And as a result, make this season a little more wonderful.

Won’t you join me? So far, I’m 7 out of 12.

Rethink the Bottom Line. Rethink Business.

There is more joy found in owning less than can be found in pursuing more.

This is a mantra I have learned to be true over the past number of years. Deciding intentionally to own fewer possessions has brought great benefit into my life: less cleaning, less debt, less stress, more freedom, more purpose, more opportunity to pursue lasting impact.

Its truth has begun to spill into other aspects of my life. It has brought fullness to my understanding of happiness, generosity, and busyness. It has changed my thoughts on consumerism, technology, and the words I choose.  It has affected how I view work, money, and success.

Owning less is an exercise in freedom that brings significant impact into our work and our business. It can positively impact how we view each of them. In fact, correctly understood, it allows us to entirely rethink business and how we conduct it. When we start to rethink our bottom line, our entire methodology of business and entrepreneurship begins to change—and for the better.

But before we begin to consider some of the benefits of rethinking business, let me cut off a few objections:

First, I am not anti-capitalist (as some may likely infer). I am all for a free-market system that rewards those who work hard. But there are better rewards to pursue than financial gain.
Second, I fully realize the benefit of profitability in business. Profits allow businesses to keep their doors open and employ workers, who in turn, feed their families. I am not against profitability. But profitability alone as the ultimate goal in business is short-sighted.
Third, I understand the responsibility to shareholders and investors. If investors/partners put up resources and own a stake in our business based on certain expectations, we must work to fulfill those expectations. But whether we are an employee, a small business owner, a partner, or a chairman of the board, we can still work to create a new culture in our organization and in our economy.

I have been noticing lately how minimalism (intentionally living with less) can impact our loftiest goals in business. When we become content with less, our lives are open to new pursuits. And as our expenses lessen, we are freed to pursue entrepreneurial passions. After all, if the fear of money can be removed, the greatest obstacle to chasing our dreams can be easily overcome.

But more than that, minimalism also begins to impact how we conduct our business. If we see the benefit of owning less and are content with a simple life because of the joy it offers, our need for an ever-growing bottom line begins to diminish. If we have enough money to meet our needs, we discover new opportunity to evaluate our bottom line. In short, we become freed to pursue other pursuits than financial gain.

And if we begin to rethink our bottom line, we are also freed to rethink how we conduct our entire business. We can begin to experience a more fulfilling way to build it and lead it.

When we begin to rethink our bottom line and value more than ever-increasing profitability, we are freed to:

Pursue passion projects, not just profit projects. When the bottom line goal is measured only in dollars, we are held hostage to profit projects. Sure, there may be some overlap between the jobs/projects we desire to take and those that provide the most revenue. But often times, when forced with the option, a business motivated by profits alone will choose the latter.

Find work/life balance. Once our financial needs are met, we can begin meeting other significant needs in our lives. We can find time for rest. We can find time for serving others. We can close the laptop guilt-free. And we can be the parent our children desire.

Place people over profits. As the importance of our bottom line begins to fade, we can begin caring for other peoples’ bottom lines—particularly our employees. We can pay wages above the industry average. We can offer generous benefits to improve their quality of life (vacation/insurance/family priorities). We can treat others with respect and dignity. And when we do, we attract higher quality employees and retain the most competent. This, in turn, increases our joy of working each day. (Thanks to Bob Moore of Bob’s Red Mill for modeling this for all of us).

Invest in our local community. We can serve and support our local community through our business’s services and money. Likely, we can save some dollars and cut some expenses by shopping around for larger economies of scale. But if we are content with less, we can support our local marketplace and invest in our local community instead. Oh, and we can also buy some t-shirts for the local tee ball team too.

Preserve the environment. Building and functioning in an environmentally-conscious way is not always the most cost-effective—especially in the short-run. But in the long-run, it is always the best choice… even if you are not around to see its impact.

Promote social causes. There are so many wonderful organizations doing amazingly-important work in our world today. They are striving to bring justice, education, water, and opportunity to those who have had it denied to them. Our profits can be such a blessing to them—especially as we begin to realize we don’t need to keep all of them.

Build leaders. There is a well-known saying that goes like this, “There are two secrets to success: 1. Never tell everything you know.” I get it, I really do. I understand the humor. But I also understand that too many people believe it and follow it closely. As a result, knowledge is rarely transferred and leaders are rarely built up. When the only goal is an ever-increasing bottom line, there is less incentive to train, equip, and encourage others. But when the goal of a business can expand beyond mere dollars, the opportunity to train future leaders and bless them in their endeavors grows.

Deliver fairness. There is an important joy and fulfillment found in providing a fair product for a fair price. It is easier to lay our head on the pillow at night knowing we worked diligently to the best of our ability providing honest contribution to those who placed their trust in us.

Embrace honesty/integrity. Those who want to get rich are tempted greatly and often fall into all kinds of foolish things. But contentment offers great peace and allows us to live our lives and lead our businesses with honesty and integrity. May we be reminded today there is more joy found in owning less than can be found in pursuing more. And may we embrace honesty, integrity, and character in all our business dealings because of it.

Now, I’m a realist. I know one article is not going to change the climate of an entire economy. But it certainly has the power to change at least one business. And whether you are an artist, a farmer, or a small retail-business owner, you have the power to bring about a cultural change in your business. I encourage you to do so.

In turn, you will discover a greater joy. And as you begin rethinking your bottom line, may countless others take notice.

Rethink Your Bottom Line. Rethink Your Business.

There is more joy found in owning less than can be found in pursuing more.

This is a mantra I have learned to be true over the past number years. Deciding intentionally to own fewer possessions has brought great benefit into my life: less cleaning, less debt, less stress, more freedom, more purpose, more opportunity to pursue lasting impact.

Its truth has begun to spill into other aspects of my life. It has brought fullness to my understanding of happiness, generosity, and busyness. It has changed my thoughts on consumerism, technology, and the words I choose.  It has affected how I view work, money, and success. In each case, I have found great benefit in removing the pursuit of excessive consumerism.

Owning less is an exercise in freedom that brings significant impact into our lives, our work, and our business. It can positively impact how we view each of them. In fact, correctly understood, it allows us to entirely rethink business and how we conduct it. Because when we start to rethink our bottom line, our entire methodology of business and entrepreneurship begins to change—and for the better.

But before we begin to consider some of the benefits of rethinking business, let me cut off a few objections:

First, I am not anti-capitalist (as some may likely infer). I am all for a free-market system that rewards those who work hard. But there are better rewards to pursue than financial gain.
Second, I fully realize the benefit of profitability in business. Profits allow businesses to keep their doors open and employ workers, who in turn, feed their families. I am not against profitability. But profitability alone as the ultimate goal in business is short-sighted.
Third, I understand the responsibility to shareholders and investors. If investors/partners put up resources and own a stake in our business based on certain expectations, we must work to fulfill those expectations. But whether we are an employee, a small business owner, a partner, or a chairman of the board, we can still work to create a new culture in our organization and in our economy.

I have been noticing lately how minimalism (intentionally living with less) can impact our loftiest goals in life and business. When we become content with less, our lives are open to new pursuits. And as our expenses lessen, we are freed to pursue entrepreneurial passions. After all, if the fear of money can be removed, the greatest obstacle to chasing our dreams can be easily overcome.

But more than that, minimalism also begins to impact how we conduct our business. If we can see the benefit of owning less and be content with a simple life because of the joy it offers, our need for an ever-growing bottom line begins to diminish. If we have enough money to meets our needs, we discover new opportunity to evaluate our bottom line. In short, we become freed to pursue other pursuits than financial gain.

And if we can begin to rethink our bottom line, we are also freed to rethink how we conduct our entire business. We can begin to experience a more fulfilling way to build it and lead it.

When we begin to rethink our bottom line and value more than ever-increasing profitability, we are freed to:

Pursue passion projects, not just profit projects. When the bottom line goal is measured only in dollars, we are held hostage to profit projects. Sure, there may be some overlap between the jobs/projects we desire to take and those that provide the most revenue. But often times, when forced with the option, a business motivated by profits alone will choose the latter.

Find work/life balance. Once our financial needs are met, we can begin meeting other significant needs in our lives. We can find time for rest. We can find time for serving others. We can close the laptop guilt-free. And we can be the parent our children desire.

Place people over profits. As the importance of our bottom line begins to fade, we can begin caring for other peoples’ bottom lines—particularly our employees. We can pay wages above the industry average. We can offer generous benefits to improve their quality of life (vacation/insurance/family priorities). We can treat others with respect and dignity. And when we do, we attract higher quality employees and retain the most competent. This, in turn, increases our joy of working each day. (Thanks to Bob Moore of Bob’s Red Mill for modeling this for all of us).

Invest in our local community. We can serve and support our local community through official business services and money. Likely, we can save some dollars and cut some expenses by shopping around for larger economies of scale. But if we are content with less, we can support our local marketplace and invest in our local community instead. Oh, and we can also buy some t-shirts for the local tee ball team too.

Preserve the environment. Building and functioning in an environmentally-conscious way is not always the most cost-effective—especially in the short-run. But in the long-run, it is always the best choice… even if you are not around to see its impact.

Promote social causes. There are so many wonderful organizations doing amazingly-important work in our world today. They are striving to bring justice, education, water, and opportunity to those who have had it denied to them. Our profits can be such a blessing to them—especially as we begin to realize we don’t need to keep all of them.

Build leaders. There is a well-known saying that goes like this, “There are two secrets to success: 1. Never tell everything you know.” I get it, I really do. I understand the humor. But I also understand that too many people believe it and follow it closely. As a result, knowledge is rarely transferred and leaders are rarely built up. When the only goal is an ever-increasing bottom line, there is less incentive to train, equip, and encourage others. But when the goal of a business can expand beyond mere dollars, the opportunity to train future leaders and bless them in their endeavors grows.

Deliver fairness. There is an important joy and fulfillment found in providing a fair product for a fair price. It is easier to lay our head on the pillow at night knowing we worked diligently to the best of our ability providing honest contribution to those who placed their trust in us.

Embrace honesty/integrity. Those who want to get rich are tempted greatly and often fall into all kinds of foolish things. But contentment offers great peace and allows us to live our lives and lead our businesses with honesty and integrity. May we be reminded today there is more joy found in owning less than can be found in pursuing more. And may we embrace honesty, integrity, and character in all our business dealings because of it.

Now, I’m a realist. I know one article is not going to change the climate of an entire economy. But it certainly has the power to change at least one business. And whether you are an artist, a farmer, or a small retail-business owner, you have the power to bring about a cultural change in your business. I encourage you to do so.

In turn, you will discover a greater joy. And as you begin rethinking your bottom line, may countless others take notice.

2014: Your Simplest Year

Throughout the 12 months of 2014, I will be teaming up with 7 of my favorite writers and simple-living advocates to offer A Simple Year: 12 Months of Guided Simplicity. I hope you will join us.

Whether you are just beginning your journey to simplicity or looking for extra inspiration and encouragement, A Simple Year is built to provide you with inspiration and practical application steps to make 2014 your simplest year ever. You can register today for $149.

The Course

Simple Year members will receive a variety of resources specifically designed for the 12-month course. Each month, members will receive articles and information centered on one specific topic complete with homework assignments and practical challenges. The nature of the course allows focus, intentionally, and new habits to be established.

Along with the written content, each month will feature a live component such as a webinar or tele-seminar where each member can personally connect with the author, ask questions, and meet other people simplifying their lives.

Plus, we’ve got a whole bunch of surprises planned throughout the year such as free ebooks, audio recordings, and video messages from the authors.

Here is a list of the topics being covered:

January: Clutter with Joshua Becker (Becoming Minimalist). Motivation and steps to get started removing the clutter in your own home and life.

February: Busyness with Courtney Carver (Be More with Less). A slow down guide for the chronically busy.

March: Travel with Colin Wright (Exile Lifestyle). Recalibrating your life to focus on passions. Packing (for travel or for life).

April: Kitchen with Jules Clancy (Stone Soup). The secret to a clutter-free kitchen.

May: Digital with Tammy Strobel (Rowdy Kittens). How to develop a healthy relationship with technology.

June: Work with Courtney Carver (Be More with Less). Simple ways to enjoy your work and develop a micro-business (even with a full-time job).

July: Money with Joshua Becker (Becoming Minimalist). Rethinking the purpose (and desire) for money.

August: Stay Simple with Brooke McAlary (Slow Your Home). Never-fail techniques to create a simpler home that works for you.

September: Challenge with The Minimalists (The Minimalists). Fall cleaning and decluttering as a team.

October: Food with Jules Clancy (Stone Soup). How to empower yourself to make the best food choices for your body.

November: Relationships with Tammy Strobel (Rowdy Kittens). Self-care and simplicity.

December: Holidays with The Minimalists (The Minimalists). Avoid holiday doorbuster sales and begin offering presence as the best present.

The Opportunity

The cost of A Simple Year: 12 Months of Guided Simplicity is $149 (less than $13/month). The helpful inspiration and interactive nature of the course make it well worth the cost.

Our goal is to help those who desire to make 2014 their simplest year ever. Each of us involved in the course have found great benefit in simplifying our lives and we believe you will too.

The course would make a great holiday gift for yourself or someone you love. Some have signed up for the course to fulfill continuing education requirements. And I believe the course would be helpful and productive for a variety of organizations and/or groups (if you are interested in group rates, please contact asimpleyear@gmail.com).

Registration

Early registration is available today until December 18th. In January, the registration will re-open at $199.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of everything that distracts us from it. It requires a conscience decision. It is a counter-cultural lifestyle that stands against the culture of overconsumption we live in.

The world we live in is not friendly to the pursuit of minimalism. Its tendencies and relentless advertising campaigns call us to acquire more, better, faster, and newer. The journey of finding simplicity requires consistent inspiration.

For that reason, I hope you will make an effort this weekend to find a quiet moment with a cup of coffee or tea and enjoy some of these hand-picked articles to encourage more simplicity in your life.

Why I Decided to Sell Everything I Owned | Relevant Magazine by Allison Vesterfelt. As I rounded the corner toward the end of my twenties, I realized I had a lot of stuff I didn’t need, didn’t want, and was weighing me down. I was feeling sort of stuck.

We Can Still Save Thanksgiving | Boston Globe by G. Jeffrey MacDonald. All it takes is remembering what it’s like to feel satisfied.

So You Need that Smart Cuckoo Clock for Christmas, Do You? | The Guardian by George Monbiot. Is this the western world’s society, spending ridiculous sums of money on conspicuously useless gifts to enhance our social status?

A Serving of Gratitude May Save the Day | New York Times by John Tierney. An insightful, well-researched article on the importance of gratitude with or without the presence of a season to celebrate it.

Eight Things You Can Live Without | Medium by Lindsay Schauer. Want to declutter your life? Start here.

Image: Angelo González

A Lighter, Simpler, More Beautiful Holiday

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Allison Vesterfelt of AllisonVesterfelt.com. 

“When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things – not the great occasions – give off the greatest glow of happiness.” —Bob Hope

I believe it is possible to do less, buy less, cook less, work less and even decorate less and still have a full, happy, satisfying, beautiful holiday season. But in order to get there, and stay there, we’re going to have to focus on a few changes of mindset.

Or, at least I am.

The other day my husband and I were driving to an event together and, out of nowhere, he asked, “Hey, do you realize we’ve never bought each other Christmas presents?”

Honestly, when he asked that question, my heart leapt a little. I knew it was true, but it sounded so harsh to say it outright like that. In fact, I found myself feeling a little embarrassed, thinking of a million excuses for why this was the case…

“We’ve only been married for two Christmases…”

“We’ve been trying to get out of debt…”

“The first Christmas we were together, we were busy planning a wedding…”

But just as I started to let my thoughts get away from me, my husband spoke up again. “Honestly, it doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you.”

The truth is it doesn’t really bother me. But I find myself thinking it does. I find myself worrying what people will think, or what they’ll say if they find out. I find myself thinking about what others are doing for the holidays that I’m not doing; and feeling pressure to make my holiday season look and feel a certain way.

But our decision to forgo Christmas presents (which was mostly out of necessity at the time we made it) has actually opened space for us to have a lighter, simpler, more beautiful Christmas. I’m not against celebrating, or against buying presents. In fact, my husband and I may buy each other presents one day.

But I do believe the common maxim “less is more” applies to the holidays more than it does to just about anything else. And I think each of us will discover a more satisfying holiday if we’ll focus on the following changes in mindset.

1. Don’t get too stuck on “the way you’ve done it before.”

If you grew up in a family or neighborhood (like I did) that went all out for Christmas, maybe scaling back for your own holiday celebration makes you feel a little bit like I felt when my husband reminded me we have never bought each other presents—like a failure. Or, like you’re doing it wrong.

I have good news. There is no wrong way to do it!

Try not to get too stuck on the way you’ve always done it before. Instead, focus on the values you want to cultivate in your family or community or home this year, and experiment with creative ways to promote those values. Also, if you’re entering a new season of life (newly independent, newly married, have young children, or have a newly empty nest), what better time to start fresh with a brand new “way?”

If you’ve always been extravagant in the past, you don’t have to “live up” to that version of yourself, or to anyone else. Take a deep breath. You’re not a failure.

2. Focus on experiences over possessions.

One of the reasons my husband and I have never bought Christmas presents for each other is that we are always traveling for the holidays. We live far from all of our extended family, and in order to spend time with family (without breaking the bank) we have had to choose between plane tickets and Christmas presents.

We’ve agreed together that, when it comes buying habits, we will always (not just at Christmas) value experiences over possessions. Possessions are nice, but they rust, rot, get stolen and burn in fires. Experiences can’t be taken from us. They have eternal value.

Consider how you cultivate experiences this year, rather than just buying gifts which will likely end up in the Goodwill pile in a few months or years.

3. Do the best you can with what you have.

This is advice a mentor of mine once gave me about a totally different subject, but I think it applies here, as well. When I was getting ready to go on a date, she would advise me not to go buy brand new clothes, or to feel like I needed to lose 10 pounds before the date, but simply to, “Do the best you can with what you have.”

In other words: be the best version of yourself.

I would give really similar advice when it comes to Christmas. Do the best you can with what you have. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t buy presents, or that having a Christmas tree is a waste. It simply means don’t go into debt over presents or trees. It means decide what you’re going to spend on Christmas—and it doesn’t have to be extravagant—and then do the best you can with what you have.

4. Turn off the TV (or find other ways to avoid being swayed by advertisements).

You’d be surprised how influenced you are by advertisements. Suddenly you begin thinking that everyone has a better Christmas planned than you do. Everyone’s Christmas tree belongs in a department store, and everyone’s husband is buying them diamond earrings, and everyone else is buying their kids new computers.

That’s simply not true, no matter how convincing the ads make it look.

The other thing that’s not true is that families who have these things are automatically happier (like they are in the commercials) than your family, or other families who go without. Presents are nice. But they can’t make you happy.

If you want a truly happy holiday season, you’ll have to find ways to cultivate happiness from the inside.

What tips do you have for creating a lighter, more beautiful life?

***

Allison Vesterfelt blogs at AllisonVesterfelt.com where she inspires and encourages others to live with less. Her book, Packing Light: Thoughts on Living Life with Less Baggage is helpful and compelling. I highly recommend it to you. She is also worth following on Twitter.

Holiday Shopping. We Can Do Better.

“Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store, maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more.” —Dr. Seuss

Over the next few days, Americans will spend nearly $60 billion in retail sales on Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, and Cyber Monday. The average shopper will spend $423 this weekend.

But this weekend only signifies the beginning of the holiday season. All told, the average consumer intends to spend $768 on gifts this holiday season—and this figure does not include other seasonal spending: food, decorations, and other holiday items. When factored in, Americans plan to spend an average of $1,014 this holiday season.

Unfortunately, the entire holiday shopping craze is based on unhealthy foundations. It finds its roots in a society conditioned to act on impulse and solve problems with purchases. It is spurred on by corporations appealing to the aspects of us that are selfish and self-centered. And the short-sighted philosophy fueling the excess is the belief we can find happiness in our purchases. But the premise is wrong.

We recognize it each December as the cycle of holiday spending begins again. We recognize it next month as the conversation inevitably turns to diets, home organization, and debt relief. Even more, if we look close enough, we can notice the foolishness of our thinking next week as our trash bins overflow with the pre-packaged waste of the holiday season.

Happiness simply can not be purchased at a store.

In fact, we can do far better than holiday shopping:

We can be content with our possessions.

We can realize our contentment in life is never found in our outward circumstances. Contentment (and happiness) is found in the decision to recognize the opportunity already exists and choosing to accept it. Deciding to be content with our current level of possessions is one of the most freeing decisions any of us can ever make. And it opens the doorway to countless possibilities.

We can value experiences over possessions.

Removing ourselves from the holiday shopping frenzy does not mean we give up all opportunity to express love through gifts. In fact, there are a number of wonderful gift ideas that could be explored. One of the sweetest is the simple idea to gift experiences rather than products this holiday season. You and the receiver may be pleasantly surprised at its value in a world where mass consumption is commonplace.

We can choose to value relationships over purchases.

Gift-giving is an interesting arrangement. We sacrifice our time and money in an effort to put something manufactured into a box for the purpose of showing love to someone else. According to statistics, we will spend over 15 hours in the next 30 days shopping for these gifts. What if we decided to spend that time with our loved ones rather than at a store shopping for them? Consider how sweet our holiday season could become if we chose to invest those 15 hours in real relationship with one another. In today’s world, 60 minutes of fully-devoted listening ears is priceless and far more valuable than anything you can buy anyway.

We can choose to act responsibly.

Rather than adding consumer debt and extra stress to our lives, we can choose to act responsibly this holiday season with our finances. We can intentionally stand up against the cultural pressure to spend money and instead, act mindfully with it. Rather than adding debt this holiday season, perhaps we could choose to pay it down instead. Imagine that.

We can invest our money into social good.

There are desperate needs all around us: internationally, nationally, and locally. While many of us search department store shelves to find the perfect gift for “someone who has everything,” 768 million people do not have access to clean drinking water, and 2.5 billion people live without proper sanitation. But the needs are not always across the water, many are local. Rather than buying scented gift boxes, our money could be used to make this world better and life more tolerable for countless others. It would be wise for us to start recognizing this opportunity.

We can choose to pursue more lasting meaning.

Each new day offers new opportunity to accomplish something new with our lives. We can create rather than consume, we can explore new learning opportunities, or we can bring about lasting change and significance. December does not need to be a month lost to overcommitted schedules and crowded lines at the cash register. We can do better than that. Just like any other month, we can use this one to further pursue meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in our lives. And based on the ads I’ve been seeing this year, those things are still not for sale.

We can remember our world’s resources are limited.

Moses Henry Cass once said, “We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children.” And it rings true in my mind as one of the most significant and thoughtful phrases concerning our responsibility with the natural resources available to us. This holiday season, we ought to keep in mind our world’s resources are indeed limited. And choose to shop (or not shop) responsibly.

We can be a better example for our kids.

Many parents will fret over the possibility that their children will be disappointed on Christmas morning if they don’t receive enough (or just the right) toys. This is too bad because our concern is misplaced. We can teach our children valuable lessons this holiday season. We can teach them about spending within their means. We can teach them about caring for those less fortunate. We can teach them about love and sacrifice and contentment—and how none of those are dependent upon a bank account. This is a valuable season for parents. Let’s not waste it by focusing more on holiday shopping than parenting.

We can remember the reason for our celebration.

For many—including our family—the holiday season has rich roots in religion and spirituality. For others, the season represents family, friends, or giving. But regardless, at its heart, it is a season of celebration. Yet many of us have traded the beautiful reason for the season for the tireless pursuit of the perfect Christmas as exemplified on television and in catalogs. We have tried to buy the perfect Christmas. And as a result, many of us will spend more time looking for parking places than we do creating space to celebrate the very meaning of it.

Now, don’t read me wrong. I’m not proposing we need to avoid all holiday shopping over the coming weeks. I’m only arguing we can do better—much better.

A Helpful Guide to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” —Theodore Roosevelt

I’ve struggled with it most of my life. Typically, I blame it on having a twin brother who is five inches taller with much broader shoulders. But if I was being truly honest, more likely, it is simply a character flaw hidden somewhere deep in my heart.

I’ve lived most of my life comparing myself to others. At first, it was school and sports. But as I got older, I began comparing other metrics: job title, income level, house size, and worldly successes.

I have discovered there is an infinite number of categories upon which we can compare ourselves and an almost infinite number of people to compare ourselves to. Once we begin down that road, we never find an end.

The tendency to compare ourselves to others is as human as any other emotion. Certainly I’m not alone in my experience. But it is a decision that only steals joy from our lives. And it is a habit with numerous shortcomings:

Comparisons are always unfair. We typically compare the worst we know of ourselves to the best we presume about others.
Comparisons, by definition, require metrics. But only a fool belives every good thing can be counted (or measured).
Comparisons rob us of precious time. We each get 86,400 seconds each day. And using even one to compare yourself or your accomplishments to another is one second too many.
You are too unique to compare fairly. Your gifts and talents and successes and contributions and value are entirely unique to you and your purpose in this world. They can never be properly compared to anyone else.
You have nothing to gain, but much to lose. For example: your pride, your dignity, your drive, and your passion.
There is no end to the possible number of comparisons. The habit can never be overcome by attaining success. There will also be something—or someone—else to focus on.
Comparison puts focus on the wrong person. You can control one life—yours. But when we constantly compare ourselves to others, we waste precious energy focusing on other peoples’ lives rather than our own.
Comparisons often result in resentment. Resentment towards others and towards ourselves.
Comparisons deprive us of joy. They add no value, meaning, or fulfillment to our lives. They only distract from it.

Indeed, the negative effects of comparisons are wide and far-reaching. Likely, you have experienced (or are experiencing) many of them first-hand in your life as well.

How then, might we break free from this habit of comparison? Consider, embrace, and proceed forward with the following steps.

A Practical Guide to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Take note of the foolish (and harmful) nature of comparison.

Take a good look at the list above. Take notice of comparison’s harmful effects in your life. And find priority to intentionally remove it from the inside-out.

Become intimately aware of your own successes.

Whether you are a writer, musician, doctor, landscaper, mother, or student, you have a unique perspective backed by unique experiences and unique gifts. You have the capacity to love, serve, and contribute. You have everything you need to accomplish good in your little section of the world. With that opportunity squarely in front of you, become intimately aware of your past successes. And find motivation in them to pursue more.

Pursue the greater things in life.

Some of the greatest treasures in this world are hidden from sight: love, humility, empathy, selflessness, generosity. Among these higher pursuits, there is no measurement. Desire them above everything else and remove yourself entirely from society’s definition of success.

Compete less. Appreciate more.

There may be times when competition is appropriate, but life is not one of them. We have all been thrown together at this exact moment on this exact planet. And the sooner we stop competing against others to “win,” the faster we can start working together to figure it out. The first and most important step in overcoming the habit of competition is to routinely appreciate and compliment the contribution of others.

Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude.

Gratitude always forces us to recognize the good things we already have in our world.

Remind yourself nobody is perfect.

While focusing on the negatives is rarely as helpful as focusing on the positivies, there is important space to be found remembering that nobody is perfect and nobody is living a painless life. Triumph requires an obstacle to be overcome. And everybody is suffering through their own, whether you are close enough to know it or not.

Take a walk.

Next time you find yourself comparing yourself to others, get up and change your surroundings. Go for a walk—even if only to the other side of the room. Allow the change in your surroundings to prompt change in your thinking.

Find inspiration without comparison.

Comparing our lives with others is foolish. But finding inspiration and learning from others is entirely wise. Work hard to learn the difference.

Humbly ask questions of the people you admire or read biographies as inspiration. But if comparison is a consistent tendency in your life, notice which attitudes prompt positive change and which result in negative influence.

If you need to compare, compare with yourself.

We ought to strive to be the best possible versions of ourselves—not only for our own selves, but for the benefit and contribution we can offer to others. Work hard to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Commit to growing a little bit each day. And learn to celebrate the little advancements you are making without comparing them to others.

With so many negative effects inherent in comparison, it is a shame we ever take part in it. But the struggle is real for most of us. Fortunately, it does not need to be. And the freedom found in comparing less is entirely worth the effort.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

I’m not sure of the weather in your area, but here in Phoenix we are experiencing a rare Fall rainstorm with cool temps and 36+ consecutive hours of rainfall. The weather outside will force us to slow down just a bit and enjoy some later mornings this weekend. I don’t know if your forecast will do the same. But if it does, you may enjoy a quiet moment with a cup of coffee or tea and some of these hand-picked articles to inspire simplicity in your life.

There are many wonderful people pursuing and promoting simplicity. And it’s a privilege to help support them and encourage others at the same time.

The Necessary Art of Subtraction | Zen Habits by Leo Babauta. Continual addition isn’t sustainable or desirable.

Packing Light and Unloading the Excess Baggage in Your Life | Brian Gardner by Brian Gardner. I’m a firm believer that far too often we miss calls in our life because we’re too busy, or because we simply have too many things on our plate.

Costs and Benefits of Awareness | The Minimalists by Ryan Nicodemus. Whenever we make radical changes—diet, exercise, career, etc.—we shine a spotlight on our flaws.

If You Shop on Thanksgiving, You are Part of the Problem | The Matt Walsh Blog by Matt Walsh. Honest, challenging, and humble. I appreciate this article very much.

The Gift of Not Giving A Thing | Yummy Mummy Club by Christella Morris. To spend some time with a family member or friend would mean so much more to them than another toy this holiday season.

Image: nevil zaveri

12 Helpful, Practical Steps to Unclutter Your Book Collection

Recently, my wife and I presented at a Simplicity/Decluttering Workshop. We were excited to have 100+ people from every stage of life show up for our 90-minute conversation. It was wonderful in every regard. Special thanks to Journey Church in Gretna, NE for being our hosts. If you are interested in doing the same, you can find more information here.

As part of the workshop, Kim and I wanted to offer practical help in common problem areas (clothes, sentimental items, kids’ stuff, and books). And as part of the preparation, I asked Twitter for some help in addressing the specific topic of decluttering book collections.

I asked a simple question, “Have you significantly reduced/minimized your book collection? If so, what was the most important step or decision you made in the process?”

Responses began flooding in almost immediately (they are, after all, a pretty sharp crew). The answers I received were experienced, helpful, and taken as a whole, quite comprehensive. In fact, the responses were so good, I decided to organize them and pass them on to a larger audience.

So then, if your book collection has become too cluttered, you’ll find help here. If you ever feel burdened by your books, you’ll find inspiration. Or if you are just looking to create some extra space in your home or office, you’ll find plenty of practical steps here to get you started uncluttering your book collection and finding more space in your home and life.

12 Helpful, Practical Steps to Unclutter Your Book Collection
1. Decide to do it.

After all, just like everything else, it always starts with the decision to get started.

@joshua_becker Most important: deciding to do it. Here's my story: http://t.co/0KB1CmV72u

— heather andrews (@wildsheepchase) November 11, 2013

2. Realize books do not define you.

Books add value. They contribute to who you are. But they do not define who you are.

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@joshua_becker also accepting that the books on my shelf (or lack of) don’t define me as a person.

— Hannah (@becomewhour) November 10, 2013

class=”twitter-tweet”>@joshua_becker Realizing my book collection did not define me as a person. Also admitting I was prob. not going to read most of them again.

— MicheleStitches (@MicheleStitches) November 10, 2013

3. Remove scarcity thinking.

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@joshua_becker letting go of the “what if I need this in the future?” scarcity mindset– i.e. self-trust! Over 200 books sold/gone so far.

— Hannah (@becomewhour) November 10, 2013

4. Determine to make room for the new.

An optimistic point of view is advantageous in every endeavor.

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@joshua_becker Removing books I’ve already read, makes room for books I have yet to read!

— Brian Knoblauch (@GLMotorSports) November 11, 2013

class=”twitter-tweet”>@joshua_becker My goal is to keep reading and learning, so I would usually choose new books anyway. — Jessica S. (@jessicaschreyer) November 11, 2013

5. Go digital.

The free Amazon Kindle App is available for almost every electronic device. There is no need to own an actual Kindle to use it.

Switching to kindle RT @joshua_becker: Have you significantly reduced/… your book collection? If so, what was the most important step..

— Foreign Geek (@ForeignGeek) November 12, 2013

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@joshua_becker Anything available on Kindle went. I only kept OOP or coffee table books.

— Tina Lender (@TinaLender) November 10, 2013

6. Give yourself permission to keep your favorites.

Less is different than none. Identify your favorite books and keep them close. Find freedom in knowing all decisions are coming from you and nobody is forcing them on you.

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@joshua_becker went from ~400 to 80 or so. Picked absolute favs to keep 1st. Let go of anything I owned for at least a year but never read.

— Adam Bouse (@adambouse) November 11, 2013

7. Set up reasonable boundaries for your collection.

Boundaries help us quickly delineate the “most important” from the “somewhat important.” They are helpful in countless other pursuits—use them to your advantage. Choose one and give it a try. You can always adjust later.

class=”twitter-tweet”> @joshua_becker I read a lot – iPad and hard copy – but keep very few. I have one bookcase and give away the rest. pic.twitter.com/8qs0ylhSPY — Sarah Labelle (@labelle_sarah) November 10, 2013

8. Remove unused or outdated reference books.

While the Internet may never entirely replace reference books for your line of work or personal preference, it can almost certainly prove to be an efficient replacement for many of your reference books (starting with a dictionary and thesaurus). 

class=”twitter-tweet”> @joshua_becker (1) Will I read this again? (2) If it’s a reference book, do I actually use it or just go online? — Christy King (@SimpleWhiteRab) November 10, 2013

class=”twitter-tweet” data-conversation=”none” lang=”en”>@joshua_becker I ask how often I reference each book, how much info it contains, and if the book/info is available at the library/online. — Roman (@RomanAngeloS) November 12, 2013

class=”twitter-tweet”> @joshua_becker just 2 shelves left. My deciding factor: had I re-read/referred back in the last year or thought I would in the year to come — Thaddaeus Moody (@Thaddaeus_Moody) November 11, 2013

9. Remind yourself books are not the memory.

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@joshua_becker Deciding to give away all the novels I read. “The book itself is not the memory.”

— Ezzentie (@Ezzentie) November 11, 2013

10. Give away books you do not intend to read again.

This step was, by far, the most common response to the question.

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@joshua_becker yes. 1) made list of books to give away. 2) posted list on FB & Twitter. 3) Gave them away.

— Andrew Tatum (@andrewtatum) November 10, 2013

class=”twitter-tweet”>@joshua_becker I had to make peace with the idea that I don’t really read books more than once anymore. After that it was easy to pare down.

— Adie Lashley (@adielashley) November 10, 2013

11. Think of forwarding good books as an act of love.

I really do love this mindset and hope people find it helpful.

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@joshua_becker Keeping a book that I didn’t cherish or regularly pick up & re-read meant I was keeping it from someone else. Share the love!

— Maggie Olson (@maggiebolson) November 11, 2013

12. If all else fails, choose to lend them out.

A proper bookkeeping system will be helpful if you are ever in the need to find the book again.

class=”twitter-tweet”>@joshua_becker I read it, then I lend or give it away.

— Rodrigo Afonseca (@rodrigoafonseca) November 11, 2013

For further reading, I recommend Breaking The Sentimental Attachment To Books.

And in closing, are there any important steps or decisions you would like to add that others might find helpful?