Joshua Becker's Blog, page 120

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

There are many wonderful people pursuing and promoting simplicity. Fortunately, some of them are gifted in communication and choose to encourage and inspire us with their words. I enjoy reading their perspective. I’m sure you will too.

So fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea on this beautiful weekend. Find a quiet moment. And enjoy some encouraging words about finding more simplicity in your life today.

For Many People, Gathering Possessions is Just the Stuff of Life | LA Times by Mary MacVean. The average U.S. household builds up a plethora of stuff, which means that figuring out what to keep and what to discard is no easy matter.

Here’s Proof Buying More Stuff Actually Makes You Miserable | TIME by Martha C. White. Even when materialism is defined in ways generally seen as positive in our society, the result of those goals is corrosive to our well-being.

Master of None | Unfiltered by Brian Gardner. You can only spin so many plates, because at some point they will start to fall.

Millennials Don’t Care About Owning Cars, And Car Makers Can’t Figure Out Why | Fast Company by Darren Ross. This is an article about cars. But it is also an article about our changing views of ownership.

9 Things We Should Get Rid of to Help Our Kids | We Are That Family by Kristen Welch. Because reality is, life doesn’t give us everything we want.

Image: Steve Shinn

Becoming Minimalist 4.0

“Design creates culture.” —Robert L. Peters

Becoming Minimalist is newly designed with version 4.0. If you are reading this post via email, I encourage you to see the new design by clicking here. You will be glad you did.

Before I go any further, I need to thank Brian Gardner for the new theme. Brian is a talented designer who took my ideas, but also encouraged me to consider new ones. I’m excited to have him as Becoming Minimalist’s web designer. And proud to call him friend.

Becoming Minimalist’s previous theme was launched almost four years ago. Since then, there have been a lot of changes. Our readership has grown from 30,000 visitors/month to 350,000 visitors/month. We’ve written books, launched newsletters, and created speaking pages. We’ve added social proof and sharing buttons. In other words, we were long overdue for a change.

Our goal was to create a new website specifically designed to enhance the reader’s experience. To accomplish this:

We incorporated a cleaner, simpler webpage with fewer distractions.
We introduced a wider, easier-to-read font package via Typekit.
We utilized the same color-scheme throughout the entire site.
Our new Genesis framework is more lightweight and secure than our previous theme for a more enjoyable user experience.
We built a mobile-responsive design for tablets and smartphones.
We optimized the design for Retina display.
We accomplished much needed house cleaning on the back-end of the site.

I believe each of the changes will be appreciated by both new and returning visitors.

Indeed, we have made significant changes to the site. And yet, Becoming Minimalist has not lost its unique voice. Our logo and colors remain the same. Our writing voice has not changed. And our passion is as strong today as the day we launched this site.

Becoming Minimalist exists to inspire others to find more life by owning less. And this passion will never change.

I am curious to know your thoughts on the new design. Please, leave them in the comment section below.

And if you get a chance, send Brian Gardner a tweet (@bgardner) thanking him for his hard work.

Is Your Lifestyle Detracting from Your Lifestyle?

“The life we receive is not short but we make it so. We are not ill provided but use what we have wastefully.” ―Seneca

My life looks very different today than it did six years ago. Minimalism was the catalyst. It brought intentionality to my surroundings and my pursuits. And I recommend it to everyone.

But deciding to own less brought more changes to my life than cleaner drawers and closets. It also prompted a new lifestyle that questioned the presence of certain assumptions. As a result, it introduced me to a better way to live centered on more essential pursuits.

Looking back now, I have the benefit of comparison.

I loved watching television. I played hours of video games. I rarely exercised. I drank lots of soda. I ate too much fast food. I slept in late whenever possible. I did all the things I thought I wanted to do.

I was living the dream, or so I thought. But I am beginning to notice how my previous way of life was not improving my life—it was actually detracting from it. The life I was living wasn’t even close to the best one possible. Worse than that, in many ways, it was keeping me from it.

I think this is what makes the unexamined life so dangerous. We often think we are living life to the fullest, but we aren’t. Often times, we are exchanging long-term purpose for short-term pleasure.

When we eat unhealthy, we miss opportunity to fuel our bodies properly.

When we watch too much TV, we miss opportunities to interact with people in the real world.

When we buy more than we need, we miss opportunity to live free and unburdened.

When we neglect to exercise, we miss opportunity to enjoy adventures available to those with physical stamina.

When we stay up late and sleep through the morning, we miss capitalizing on the most productive period of our day.

When we focus too much on vacations or entertainment, we miss opportunity to discover the joys sitting in front of us each day.

When we spend more than we earn, we burden ourselves with the bondage of debt.

When we spend too much money on ourselves, we miss opportunity to find greater joy by being generous to others.

When we choose leisure over work, we miss opportunity to contribute and benefit society with our skills.

When we work too much, we miss opportunity to refuel, recenter, and rest.

Again, with each of the decisions above, we think we are enjoying our lives and living them to the fullest. I sure thought I was enjoying my previous lifestyle. But in reality, we are only trading a better life for a more available, easier accessible one.

So how do we objectively evaluate our lives? How do we gauge if we are sacrificing the important for the urgent? How do we recognize if our choices are detracting from our lifestyle?

Here are 5 steps that have been helpful for me:

1. Embrace humility. We admit that we don’t have all the answers and open our hearts to hearing truth.

2. Seek input. We seek family members, friends, and mentors—people who know us and love us. And we humbly invite them to speak boldly into our lives.

3. Look for the root. We ask ourselves questions—hard questions. Why do we make the decisions we make and live the life we live? Is it because our habits contribute to our best life possible? Or are there others reason present in our thought-process?

4. Experiment. Try living differently for a month, see if it changes your outlook on life. Give up television, sugar, or alcohol. Exercise, write, or leave work at 5 every day for a month. Notice how it impacts your overall well-being. 30 days will provide enough time to see if the change is worthwhile.

5. Learn from others. Successful people are curious people. They possess the humility to learn from others. Identify people living their lives with purpose and goals. Then, study and learn from them.

We all want to live our life to the fullest—to enjoy and accomplish all that we can with all that we have. Let’s work hard to make sure we are making the best decisions with it.

The Habit of Change

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” —Maria Robinson

Recently, I read three articles in the span of six hours that spurred some thinking in my life.

The articles are highly encouraging. Each offers an inspirational message that challenged me to grow. And read together, in succession, the articles offer an important message that change is possible in each of our lives. I hope you are equally encouraged and motivated.

A Taste You Hate? Just Wait | New York Times. An article about food from a restaurant critic. I greatly appreciate the author’s approach to food which is basically this, “Just because you did not like a particular food in the past does not mean you won’t like it today.” He lists numerous examples from his life (broccoli, oysters) and his friends’ lives (sushi, fennel). He challenges us to try again some of the foods we have given up and reminds us that we miss out on wonderful food pleasures when we don’t. As a parent of two young children, I see this all too often around our dinner table.

As an individual, on a larger scale, I have seen this reaction to changes that could emerge in my life as well. Too often, I discard the opportunity for new habits or disciplines to emerge in my life simply because I tried before and don’t think they can ever be accomplished.

9 Easy-To-Steal Habits Of The Super Successful | Fast Company. I have long since given up any need/desire to be rich (life is way better when you don’t care anymore), but I still desire to be successful in meaningful pursuits. For that reason, this article caught my eye. The personal habits mentioned are motivating to me and could be used to create any life you desire. Some of the habits are new (keep promises, learn to tell stories) and some are habits I continue to develop (wake early, ask questions, be honest with yourself). You can click through yourself to read them all.

I want to be as effective as possible during my life. I want to accomplish all that I can with the talents and time I have been given. And developing healthy habits is one important step to get there.

36 Lessons I’ve Learned About Habits | Zen Habits. When it comes to developing and incorporating habits, there is nobody I trust more than Leo Babauta. When he writes, I read. This recent post wonderfully articulates both the how and the why of habit creation. Coincidentally, I discovered it just minutes after reading the article above. Needless to say, I read with great interest.

I was reminded there is a process to habit creation: believe it is possible, make small changes first, understand your motivation, overcome setbacks. There is a process—and it is repeatable.

Our habits shape the lives we live. Because they do, it is important to consider them carefully, give intentionality to those that we choose, and pursue healthy ones.

All three articles read together remind me that our lives are not complete—that as long as we have breath we have opportunity to change and bring about change.

Just because we tried a habit in the past doesn’t mean we can’t try it again. Our stage in life may have changed. Our motivation may have changed. Our experience has grown. Maybe, all we need to do is try again. Whether we are desiring to read more, wake-up earlier, or quit smoking, try again with optimism.

Choose carefully which habits you will invest into developing. Our lives are important and our habits are important. The change for good that our lives offer is significant.

The Freedom of Authenticity (and 7 of My Biggest Flaws)

“Pride must die in you, or nothing of heaven can live in you.” —Andrew Murray

9 months ago, Leo Babauta wrote a blog post titled I Failed. Immediately upon reading it, I wished I had written it. It was good and true and honest. But more importantly, it was freeing—for both the reader and writer.

More recently, I have been moved by the words of Brian Gardner and his continued pleas for authenticity. I read his thoughts on living unfiltered and again, streams of freedom flow in his writing. Sarah Peck also has a similar influence on me.

There is great freedom in authenticity.

One evening last month, while sitting at my dining room table, I suffered a dark moment of depravity. I received good news from a friend on the telephone. He’s a good person—someone I admire and look up to.

Understandably, he began telling me some of the wonderful things that had happened in his career. In a moment where I should have been rejoicing alongside him, I felt jealousy instead. I knew it was wrong for me to react this way, but it was the first emotion that surfaced. And no matter how many times I congratulated him, the bitter feeling of envy would not depart.

A few days later, unable to shake my jealousy, I called a friend and poured out my heart. I expressed my frustration with my weakness and asked for help. She responded, “You just accomplished the most important step: admitting this out loud to a trusted friend. Confess your weakness. The sooner you call it what it is, the sooner you are able to move on from it.”

Again, I was reminded there is great freedom in admitting our weakness.

It removes the artificial walls we have built around us.
It provides the pathway to begin addressing our faults.
It opens the door for accountability from others.
It embraces a life of honesty—with others and with ourselves.
It offers opportunity to connect with others as they see themselves in our weaknesses.
It allows others to love us for who we truly are.
It reminds us we are not alone in our faults. To be human is to be weak.

And yet, as much freedom as there is to be found in authenticity, it is still difficult. Admitting weakness still feels a lot like admitting weakness. But when there are so many advantages to be found in it, perhaps the greatest step is to admit our fear and humbly become transparent anyway.

Allow me to start: I am flawed.

Even more difficult to admit, I struggle with the same flaws over and over again. I know them intimately well and sometimes feel powerless to overcome them.

Seven of My Greatest Flaws

Jealousy. I have struggled with jealousy as long as I can remember. Typically, I blame it on a twin brother who is five inches taller with much broader shoulders. But my jealousy and envy run deeper than mere sibling rivalry. I find myself jealous of the skill and success of other writers. And I am jealous of those who are younger but have accomplished more. Sometimes I find motivation in this envy, but most of the time it is only crippling and burdensome.

Desire for Approval. I seek praise and approval from others—to an unhealthy and damaging degree. This desire keeps my heart and mind focused on myself too much. Often, it inhibits my ability to even be myself. I sometimes write and say things just because I know people want to hear them. And far too often, I withhold strongly held opinions because I know they are unpopular or fear they will not be accepted. There is no freedom when the desire for approval exceeds the desire to be yourself.

Lack of Self-Discipline. I am less self-disciplined than most. I write often about the importance of rising early, turning off distractions, and focused devotion to meditation. I have experienced beauty and joy in each. And yet, I sleep in far too many mornings each week and have played far more Candy Crush on my iPhone than I’d ever care to admit. I waste countless hours each week when I should be working or devoted to more important pursuits (meditation, reading, exercise). I desperately envy those who do not need a deadline to complete a project.

Selfishness. I love generosity. It is important and valuable. It is wonderful to write about, but difficult to practice. Even when it was difficult, I donated 10% of my income to charity, sometimes even more. I am thankful for the financial and the life lessons I have learned from the discipline. But nowadays, money is not tight. I have more liquid assets today than at any point before and my expenses are the lowest they have been in 10 years. And yet, during a stage of life when excessive generosity should be easier than ever, I find myself holding on to more than ever. My selfishness is being revealed during a time of plenty.

Guilt over Physical Possessions. I own more things than I need. I own less than most, but still more than I need. There are books under my bed and tools in my garage that will never be used. There are CDs and DVDs and couches (yes, couches) we intend to sell but haven’t yet. Some of the closets in my home are embarrassingly full. I believe strongly in the benefits of owning and buying less. And I have written often that my practice of minimalism is much less extreme than most. But still, I continue to have this nagging feeling that I am no less qualified to write about this topic than anyone else.

Lack of Empathy. I am less compassionate than I should be. It’s not that I don’t care about the emotional needs of the people around me, it’s that I don’t even think to notice them. As I dig deeper into this fault, I continue to run into my desire for approval from others. I go through my day so focused on being noticed and validated by others, I don’t even shift my focus long enough to notice the pain of others.

Protecting my Image. I suffer through a constant need to protect my image. I rarely express weakness to even my closest friends as I work desperately hard to protect their thoughts about me. I rarely ask for help—to do so would be admit my need for it. Indeed, my pride runs very deep and expresses itself in numerous ways. Perhaps its greatest expression is my desire to pretend that it is well-placed.

Ahh.

There is great freedom in authenticity. I am thankful for those who have gone before and modeled it for me.

In a world where our public image can be meticulously crafted though Instagram and Facebook and Twitter and personal blogs, we must work hard to embrace our authenticity and overcome the fear associated with exposing our faults.

I hope you will join me in doing just that.

Add a comment below expressing 1-2 of your greatest weaknesses. Or join the chat on Twitter by including the hashtag (#iamflawed).

Together, we can experience greater freedom. And encourage others to do the same.

The Freedom of Authenticity (And 7 of My Biggest Flaws)

“Pride must die in you, or nothing of heaven can live in you.” —Andrew Murray

9 months ago, Leo Babauta wrote a blog post titled, I Failed. Immediately upon reading it, I wished I had written it. It was good and true and honest. But more importantly, it was freeing—for both the reader and writer.

More recently, I have been moved by the words of Brian Gardner and his continued pleas for authenticity. I read his thoughts on living unfiltered and again, streams of freedom freely flow in his writing. Sarah Peck also has a similar influence on me.

There is great freedom in authenticity.

One evening last month, while sitting at my dining room table, I suffered a dark moment of depravity. I received good news from a friend on the telephone. He’s a good person—someone I admire and look up to.

Understandably, he began telling me some of the wonderful things that had happened in his career. In a moment where I should have been rejoicing alongside him, I felt jealousy instead. I knew it was wrong for me to react this way, but it was the first emotion that surfaced. And no matter how many times I congratulated him, the bitter feeling of envy would not depart.

A few days later, unable to shake my jealousy, I called a friend and poured out my heart. I expressed my frustration with my weakness and asked for help. She responded, “You just accomplished the most important step: admitting this out loud to a trusted friend. Confess your weakness. The sooner you call it what it is, the sooner you are able to move on from it.”

Again, I was reminded there is great freedom in admitting our weakness.

It removes the artificial walls we have built around us.
It provides the pathway to begin addressing our faults.
It opens the door for accountability from others.
It embraces a life of honesty—with others and with ourselves.
It offers opportunity to connect with others as they see themselves in our weaknesses.
It allows others to love us for who we truly are.
It reminds us we are not alone in our faults. To be human is to be weak.

And yet, as much freedom as there is to be found in authenticity, it is still difficult. Admitting weakness still feels a lot like admitting weakness. But when there are so many advantages to be found in it, perhaps the greatest step is to admit our fear and humbly become transparent anyway.

Allow me to start. I am flawed.

Even more difficult to admit, I struggle with the same flaws over and over again. I know them intimately well and sometimes feel powerless to overcome them.

Seven of My Greatest Flaws

Jealousy. I have struggled with jealousy as long as I can remember. Typically, I blame it on a twin brother who is five inches taller with much broader shoulders. But my jealousy and envy run deeper than mere sibling rivalry. I find myself jealous of the skill and success of other writers. And I am jealous of those who are younger but have accomplished more. Sometimes I find motivation in this envy, but most of the time it is crippling and burdensome.

Desire for Approval. I seek praise and approval from others—to an unhealthy and damaging degree. This desire keeps my heart and mind focused on myself too much. Often, it inhibits my ability to even be myself. I sometimes write and say things just because I know people want to hear them. And far too often, I withhold strongly held opinions because I know they are unpopular or fear they will not be accepted. There is no freedom when the desire for approval exceeds the desire to be yourself.

Lack of Self-Discipline. I am less self-disciplined than most. I write often about the importance of rising early, turning off distractions, and focused devotion to meditation. I have experienced beauty and joy in each. And yet, I sleep in far too many mornings each week and have played far more Candy Crush on my iPhone than I’d ever care to admit. I waste countless hours each week when I should be working or devoted to more important pursuits (meditation, reading, exercise). I desperately envy those who do not need a deadline to complete a project.

Selfishness. I love generosity. It is important and valuable. It is wonderful to write about, but difficult to practice. Even when it was difficult, I donated 10% of my income to charity, sometimes even more. I am thankful for the financial and the life lessons I have learned from the discipline. But nowadays, money is not tight. I have more liquid assets today than at any point before and my expenses are the lowest they have been in 10 years. And yet, during a stage of life when excessive generosity should be easier than ever, I find myself holding on to more than ever. My selfishness is being revealed during a time of plenty.

Guilt over Physical Possessions. I own more things than I need. I own less than most, but still more than I need. There are books under my bed and tools in my garage that will never be used. There are CDs and DVDs and couches (yes, couches) we intend to sell but haven’t yet. Some of my closets are embarrassingly full. I believe strongly in the benefits of owning and buying less. And I have written often that my practice of minimalism is much less extreme than most. But still, I continue to have this nagging feeling that I am no less qualified to write about this topic than anyone else.

Lack of Empathy. I am less compassionate than I should be. It’s not that I don’t care about the emotional needs of the people around me, it’s that I don’t even think to notice them. As I dig deeper into this fault, I continue to run into my desire for approval from others. I go through my day so focused on being noticed and validated by others, I don’t even shift my focus long enough to notice the evident pain of others.

Protecting my Image. I suffer through a constant need to protect my image. I rarely express weakness to even my closest friends as I work desperately hard to protect their thoughts about me. I rarely ask for help—to do so would be admit my need for it. Indeed, my pride runs very deep and expresses itself in numerous ways. Perhaps its greatest expression is my desire to pretend that it is well-placed.

Ahh.

There is great freedom in authenticity. I am thankful for those who have gone before and modeled it for me.

In a world where our public image can be meticulously crafted though Instagram and Facebook and Twitter and personal blogs, we must work hard to embrace our authenticity and overcome the fear associated with exposing our faults.

I hope you will join me in doing just that.

Add a comment below expressing 1-2 of your greatest weaknesses. Or join the chat on Twitter by including the hashtag (#iamflawed).

Together, we can experience greater freedom. And encourage others to do the same.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

The simplicity/minimalism movement is among the most friendly, encouraging, and helpful communities you will ever find. There is a genuine understanding that any promotion of simplicity is good for society—and there is little concern about who gets the credit for it.

It is a pleasure to be part of such a wonderful group of people. And I enjoy every opportunity to promote writing that encourages people to live more by owning less. So fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea. Find a quiet moment this weekend. And enjoy some encouraging words to inspire more simplicity in your life today.

The Power of Less | James Clear by James Clear. It’s so much easier to do the right thing when you’re not surrounded by extra things.

Here’s Proof Buying More Stuff Actually Makes You Miserable | TIME by Martha C. White. In a new paper, Knox College psychology professor Tim Kasser shows, through a series of experiments, that when people become more materialistic, their emotional well-being takes a dive.

The Most Underrated Sound in Our Society | Storyline by Joshua Becker. Here is why we should be more intentional about finding silence in our lives.

40 Bags in 40 Days Decluttering Challenge | White House, Black Shutters by Ann Marie Heasley. Fun decluttering project—not too late to start.

Seven Common Challenges Facing Middle-Class Families at Home | UCLA Newsroom. A new book gives an unprecedented look into the middle-class American home.

Appearances: This week, I’ll be joining the Minimalists in Phoenix for their Everything That Remains Tour 2014. Local details here.

Why Everyone Should Climb a Mountain

“It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.” —Edmund Hillary

I did not go on my first hike until my mid-30s. I could blame it on the fact that I grew up on the Great Plains of South Dakota and North Dakota. But mostly, to be honest, I just wasn’t interested. Having never gone, I didn’t see the value and always declined when asked.

I went on my first hike a few years back while living in Vermont. At the urging of my wife, and with my two young kids, we walked a beautiful forest trail on a cool August morning. I carried a small backpack with water and snacks. When we reached the top, we ate lunch together overlooking a perfectly still pond and a scenic Vermont landscape.

And I fell in love with climbing mountains.

A few weeks ago, my 11-year old son, my 61-year old dad, and I hiked Camelback Mountain in Phoenix. Last weekend, I hiked down the Grand Canyon with my son along the South Kaibab Trail. And later this week, my wife and daughter will join us to walk Waterfall Trail in the White Tank Mountains. (There are definitely some benefits of living in Phoenix during the winter).

Now, just to be clear, by no stretch of the imagination would I classify myself as an expert hiker. Most of our hikes last 2 hours. And I have no plans to climb Mount Kilimanjaro or walk the Appalachian Trail. But waking early on a Saturday morning to walk 3-5 miles along a forest trail with lunch in your backpack is a journey I’d recommend for anyone.

It is a healthy physical exercise that creates wonderful memories. It provides opportunity to slow down and disconnect. And given the chance, hiking teaches us important truths about life.

Life Lessons Learned Climbing Mountains:

Many have gone before. Every time I hike, I find myself grateful for those who have gone before and have smoothed a trail for me. And I am reminded, in life, we all stand on the hard work of those who have walked before us.

Many will come after. I am not the last to walk this trail, climb this mountain, or witness these views. While I am thankful for the work of those who have gone before, I also sense an important obligation to those who will come after—to leave the trail, the mountain, and the earth in better condition than I found it.

Not all paths have been traveled. Just for fun, I try to build a rock sculpture somewhere during each hike. I look for unusual places where the balancing rocks will remain undisturbed but still noticed by observant hikers in the future. To accomplish that, I always pick a spot just off the beaten path. Each time, I am reminded there are always new paths to be found in life and new discovers to be made.

Sometimes quiet is the best noise. I love the stillness and calm of an empty trail. It reminds me how much I love hearing no noise at all.

You can travel farther and accomplish more than you think. Uphill trails only leave two choices: reach the top or turn around. Reaching the top only requires the perseverance to keep putting one foot in front of the other. When life gets tough, I try to remember all we can do is put one foot in front of the other and just keep going.

Healthy fuel is important. Hiking spurs intentionality in the food and drink I choose to consume. I eat a healthy breakfast. I bring water, thoughtful snacks, and a light lunch if necessary. I choose healthy fuel so my body will function properly during the hike. Plus, there’s something that just doesn’t feel right about eating artificial foods while being present in the natural world.

Pack light. The weight of physical possessions is clearly felt when they are piled on your back. Wise travelers carry only what is needed for the journey. May it be true of me while packing—and in living.

Choose your steps carefully. While hiking, each step is clearly chosen. I focus intently where my next foot is going to land—sometimes even calculating 2-3 steps in advance. This intentionality helps me avoid unnecessary harm. And I hope the decisions I make with my life’s direction will be made with the same precision and care.

Age is only a number. I’ve seen hikers under the age of 7 and I’ve seen hikers over the age of 70. I am learning more and more that age only represents the number of years you have been alive. It does not serve as a litmus test for opportunity. Those who decide early in life to care for their bodies and not allow age to limit their potential will not be handicapped by it.

If you can climb a mountain, you can do anything. While not technically true, the mantra still goes through my head constantly during a hike. Reaching the top of a mountain (any mountain) is an impressive physical, mental, and emotional accomplishment. And it is motivating. It reminds me I can accomplish important things with my life if I dream big and put in the work.

Go climb a mountain. You’ll love it.

Why Buying Stuff Won’t Make You Happy (and One Thing That Might)

“If you make a habit of buying things you do not need, you will soon be selling things you do.” —Filipino Proverb

Our experiences hint at it. Studies confirm it.

Buying things won’t make us happy.

The pursuit and purchase of physical possessions will never fully satisfy our desire for happiness. It may result in temporary joy for some, but the happiness found in buying a new item rarely lasts longer than a few days. Researchers even have a phrase for this temporary fulfillment: retail therapy.

There are many reasons buying stuff won’t make us happy.

9 Reasons Buying Stuff Won’t Make You Happy

They all begin to fade. All possessions are temporary by nature. They look shiny and new in the store. But immediately, as soon as the package is opened, they begin to perish, spoil, or fade.

There is always something new right around the corner. New models, new styles, new improvements, and new features. From clothes and cars to kitchen gadgets and technology, our world moves forward. And planned obsolescence makes sure our most recent purchase will be out of use sooner rather than later.

Each purchase adds extra worry to our lives. Every physical item we bring into our lives represents one more thing that can be broken, scratched, or stolen.

Possessions require maintenance. The things we own require time, energy, and focus. They need to be cleaned, organized, managed, and maintained. And as a result, they often distract us from the things that truly do bring us lasting happiness.

Our purchases cost us more than we realize. In stores, products are measured in dollars and cents. But as Henry David Thoreau once said, “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” We don’t buy things with money, we buy them with hours from our lives.

We discover other people aren’t all that impressed. Subconsciously (and sometimes even consciously), we expect our newest purchases will impress other people. They will notice our new car, computer, jacket, or shoes. But most of the time, they are less impressed than we think. Instead, most of them are too busy trying to impress you with their newest purchase.

Someone else always has more. The search for happiness in possessions is always short-lived because it is based on faulty reasoning that buckles under its own weight. If happiness is found in buying stuff, those with more will always be happier. The game can never be won.

Shopping does not quench our desire for contentment. Contentment is never found in the purchase of more stuff. Our overflowing closets and drawers stand as proof. No matter how much we get, it’s never enough.

Experiences make us happier than possessions. All research points to the fact there are far more effective way to find happiness: enjoying life-changing experiences, for example.

And 1 Thing that Might

Adyashanti, the American-born spiritual teacher, offers a theory as to why the acquisition of new possessions provides only a temporal feeling of happiness. He explains it this way:

When we make a purchase and/or get what we want, we are temporarily happy and fulfilled. But the reason for happiness is not because we got what we wanted, but because for a brief period of time, we stopped wanting, and thus we experience peace and happiness.

On the topic of buying stuff, his thoughts are helpful. And I have repeated his theory dozens of times in private conversations. Of course, the natural conclusion of this thinking is to limit our desires and wants—to find peace and happiness by not wanting.

But for me, this conclusion falls short.

The goal of minimalism is not to remove desire entirely from my life. Instead, the goal of minimalism is to redirect my desires.

There are valuable pursuits available to us: love, justice, faith, compassion, contribution, redemption, just to name a few. These should be pursued with great fervor. But far too often, we trade the pursuit of lasting fulfillment for temporary happiness. We can do better. We can dream bigger.

Redirect your desires toward lasting pursuits. Find happiness there.

Because you will never find the right things looking in the wrong places. (tweet that)

9 Stress-Reducing Truths About Money

“Money won’t make you happy, but everybody wants to find out for themselves.” —Zig Ziglar

According to a recent survey, 71% of Americans identify money as a significant cause of stress in their lives. Of course, America is not alone in this regard.

Looking inside the numbers, we get a glimpse as to why the percentage is so high: 76% of households live paycheck-to-paycheck and credit card debt continues to grow. No doubt, these statistics contribute to the problem.

But money-related stress is not entirely a matter of simple dollars and numbers. When 71% of respondents cite money as a cause, the problem clearly extends across socio-economonic classes. Money-related stress is not just about a shortage of dollars. It is more than that.

Instead, the stress stems from the way we think about and interact with money and the solution is not as simple as “just add more.” This may mask the symptoms temporarily, but the anxiety always returns.

Instead, the solution may be as simple (and as difficult) as changing the way we think about money entirely.

If you struggle with financial-related stress, begin thinking different about money by adopting a few of these stress-reducing thoughts. They have each worked for me.

9 Stress-Reducing Truths About Money

1. You need less than you think. Most of the things we think we can’t live without are considered luxuries to most of the world—or even our grandparents. Think: cell phones, microwaves, cars, matching shoes, larger closets, just to name a few. The commercialization of our society has worked hard to stir discontent in our hearts. They have won. They have caused us to redefine their factory-produced items as legitimate needs. And have caused great stress in our lives because of it. Meanwhile, there are wonderful benefits for those who choose to own less.

2. Money won’t make you happy. It is simply an illusion that money will bring you happiness—study after study confirms it, so does experience. Some of the most joyful people I know are far from wealthy and some of the wealthiest people I know are far from joy. Now, certainly, there is a measure of stability and security that arises from having our most basic financial needs met. But we need so much less than we think we need. And the sooner we stop assuming more money will make us happy tomorrow, the sooner we can start finding happiness today.

3. Money is not the greatest goal of your work. Financial compensation does not succeed as a long-term motivator and the association between salary and job satisfaction is routinely shown to be very weak. In other words, a larger paycheck will not improve your satisfaction at work. There is a significant amount of work-related stress that can be removed by simply deciding to be content with your pay (assuming it is fair). Don’t work for the paycheck alone. Work for the sake of contribution and benefit to others. This approach is idealistic, but it is also fulfilling and stress-reducing.

4. Wealth has its own troubles. There are troubles associated with poverty, few of us would debate that fact. But there are also troubles associated with wealth. Unfortunately, we give little thought to them. As a result, we think the presence of money is always good, always a blessing. And we desire it. But money brings troubles of its own: it clouds moral judgement, it distorts empathy, it promotes pride and arrogance, it can become an addiction. Fears of the wealthy include isolation, anxiety, and raising well-adjusted children. In other words, if you are thinking money will solve your troubles, you are mistaken. And once we change our thinking on this, we can stop searching for answers in the wrong places.

5. The desire for riches robs us of life. We have heard the love of money is the root of all evil. But often times, the mere desire for more of it robs us of life as well. The desire for money consumes our time, wastes our energy, compromises our values, and limits our potential. It is wise to remove its desire from our affections. This would reduce our stress. But even better, it would allow true life-giving pursuits to emerge.

6. Boundaries are life-giving. Orson Welles once said, “The enemy of art is the absence of limitations.” I agree. And the enemy of life is the absence of boundaries. Whether they be social, financial, or moral, boundaries provide structure and a framework for life. They promote discovery, invention, and ingenuity. Boundaries motivate us to discover happiness in our present circumstance. This is one reason a personal spending plan (budget) is such a helpful tool—the financial boundary forms a helpful framework for life. It allows us to recognize we don’t have to spend more money than we earn to be happy. There is no joy in living beyond your means—only stress. Live within the boundaries of your income. And find more life because of it.

7. There is joy in giving money away. Generosity has wonderful benefits. Generous people are happier, healthier, more admired, more satisfied with life, and have deeper relationships with others. Their lives are filled with less stress. It is important to change our thinking on this topic. One of the most stress-reducing things you can ever do with your money is give some of it away. And generosity is completely achievable today regardless of our current situation.

8. The security found in money/possessions is fleeting at best. Too many of us believe security can be adequately found in possessions. As a result, many of us pursue and collect large stockpiles of possessions in the name of security or happiness. We work long hours to purchase them. We build bigger houses to store them. We spend large amounts of energy maintaining them. The burden of accumulating and maintaining slowly becomes the main focus of our lives. Meanwhile, we lose community, freedom, happiness, and passion. We exchange some of the most basic elements of life for mere possessions. Our search for security and life and joy is essential to being human—we just need to start looking for it in the right places.

9. Money, at its core, is only a tool. At its heart, money is nothing more than a tool to expedite trade. It saves us from making our own clothes, tools, and furniture. Because of money, I spend my days doing what I love and am good at. In exchange, I receive money to trade with someone else who uses their giftedness to create something different than me. That’s it. That is its purpose. And if we have enough to meet our needs, we shouldn’t live in stress trying desperately to acquire more.

Stress has some terrible affects on our bodies. It results in irratability, fatigue, and nervousness. Unfortunately, money consistently ranks as one of the greatest causes of it. But that doesn’t need to be true of us.

Let’s change the way we think about it. And start to enjoy our lives a little more instead.