Joshua Becker's Blog, page 108

The Investments We Make Into Our Lives

Not every dollar spent is a poor decision. Not every purchase is a bad one. Not every expense is wasted.

In Accounting terms, there is a difference between a sunk cost and an investment. A sunk cost is money wasted, never to be recovered. But an investment is very different. An investment is money spent for the purpose of long-term (or short-term) gain. And while not every investment pays off in the long-run, some rewards are worth the risk.

I have found this to be a helpful distinction as I evaluate my spending and my purchases. Some purchases are worth the expense because they result in short or long-term gain—and I am not just talking about financial returns.

For example, many people will encourage you to invest in a quality bed and mattress. Healthy sleep is important because it provides the foundation and energy for how we spend our days. This seems like wise advice. Buying a quality bed is an investment into my life.

Additionally, I would argue that healthy food, quality running shoes, and opportunities to learn are also smart investments. They may cost a little bit more, but they improve our quality of life providing valuable returns. Some might include travel on the list—I tend to agree so long as experiencing and learning from new cultures accompanies it.

As might be expected, these investments vary from person to person. For me, as a writer, a working computer might be considered an investment. But the tools of a woodworker would be very different—even more a chef or a student or an airline pilot.

Unfortunately, many of the things we are sold these days are not investments. They are merely wasteful expenses—money that can never be recouped. They become a sunk cost as soon as we leave the store.

We are constantly told to upgrade our home size, our transportation, our appearance, or our means of entertainment. We are marketed unhealthy food as convenience and fast fashion as essential to success.

We are subtly convinced by a thousand different voices these purchases will improve our lives. But they rarely do. The happiness wears off almost immediately. And our only return on investment is regret.

Even worse, many of the things we purchase rob us not only of financial resources, they also steal our time and energy and focus. They redirect our attention from things that do matter and place it squarely on things that don’t.

There is another Accounting phrase called the “sunk cost trap.” Essentially, it warns against the tendency of people to irrationally follow through on an activity that is not meeting their expectations simply because of the time and/or money they have already spent on it. If a purchase made in the past is not providing its desired result, it is sunk. And other than the lessons learned, it should not be factored into future investments.

If the possessions you have accumulated over the years have not brought the happiness and fulfillment you desired, it is time to make a change. (tweet that)

Owning less provides more money, more energy, more time, and more opportunity to pursue our greatest passions. It allows us to redirect our finite resources away from sunk costs and place them into sound investments—investments that improve not only our own lives, but the lives of everyone around us.

Your Predisposition is Not Your Future

Tendencies. We all have them.

Some are positive: a sense of humor, a love for animals, or attention to detail, just to name a few. These positive predispositions make us proud. They bring beauty into the world around us.

But personal tendencies can also be negative: we are quick to anger, susceptible to addiction, or harbor a quarrelsome spirit. Most often, we recognize these traits as negative and harmful. They’ve just been a part of us for so long we begin to get used to them.

Even worse, we begin to accept them as inevitable.

These negative tendencies can surface in almost every aspect of life:

Work: We label ourselves as the procrastinator, as disorganized, always late in the morning, or not good with numbers.
Home: We’re not good with the kids or the housework or being a disciplinarian. We’re irritable in the morning or unable to balance a budget.
Relationships: We’re not good at forgiving, being the type that stays in touch, or can never find room in our schedule for someone who needs it.

As I consider these negative personality traits in my own life (and the life of others), I am becoming more and more observant of a damaging thought process present alongside them: the belief that these negative predispositions are “just the way I am.” With an almost defeatist attitude, we attempt to excuse our negative behaviors by appealing to an internal force that makes decisions for us.

If you listen closely, you’ll pick up on it. But don’t waste your time listening for others to say it. Listen for it in your own life—especially when the excuse keeps you from making the changes in your life you desperately desire.

Your predisposition is not your future. Your future is what you choose to become. (tweet that)

I have been challenged recently by The Moral Bucket List, an article from David Brooks in the New York Times. In it, David recounts his own advancements in career success, but the lagging nature of his growth in “generosity of spirit.” He makes the case that “resume building” has come easy to him. “Eulogy building,” on the other hand, has been much more difficult. And yet, it is far more attractive to him.

As a result, he has set out on a personal journey to redefine his life in key areas. In so doing, he provides a roadmap to become the type of man he most admires being around. It’s really good. You should read it.

At one point in the article, David speaks of the importance of self-defeat—the need to confront our own weaknesses. “External success is achieved through competition with others. But character is built during the confrontation with your own weakness.” He lists helpful examples.

How then, do we accomplish this? How do we confront our own weaknesses? In what ways specifically, can we overcome our own predisposition?

1. Stop making excuses. It is blame, more than anything else, that keeps us from change. Choosing to blame your predisposition and labeling it as unchangeable will never result in positive life-change. It will keep you forever grounded where you are today. Instead, whenever you catch yourself saying, “That’s just the way I am,” replace it with, “That’s something I really need to work on.”

2. Pick your battles. When I was in college, I was encouraged to “focus on my strengths. Find a career that fits your personality and talents.” This is wise advice. There are countless positive predispositions already present in our lives. Leverage them for greater impact. But there still remain changes each of should pursue in life—some are just more important than others. Becoming detail-focused is not important if there are others around you who excel in that area. On the other hand, a generous spirit is difficult to outsource. These inner-battles we must face on our own.

3. Look for a deeper source. Many times, our outward behavior is a result of internal discontent (or disconnect). We don’t overshop because we want cluttered closets and drawers in our home, there is a deeper issue at work. We overshop because we are dissatisfied with the direction of our life (as one possible) example. Is a behavioral tendency in your life you desire to change? Search your heart for a much deeper ailment than the symptom itself.

4. Remind yourself the battle is worth fighting. The effort necessary to live an intentional life focused on becoming the best possible version of ourselves is hard. Always. If it wasn’t, we would have arrived by now. But the results are always worth the effort—not just for yourself, but for everyone around you.

5. Intentionally pursue the opposing behavior. Even for just a short while, cultivate the exact opposite behavior. When I decided I wanted to become an early-riser, I challenged myself to wake up at 5am for 29 days straight. And you know what? It worked. I became an earlier-riser in the morning. Do I still wake up at 5am every day? Nope. If I need to, I can. But even more importantly, waking up at 6:30am every morning became routine.

This strategy can be applied to other changes we want to make. If you struggle with anger on the inside, force yourself to be the nicest person in the room. If you are constantly running late, seek to be the person who arrives first. Even for a short period of time, pursue the exact opposite external trait to make change easier.

6. Find help. It is human nature to try it alone—especially when we must admit personal weakness. But, if you have tried unsuccessfully in the past to bring about a needed change, it might be time to get some help. Sometimes the necessary help is a licensed professional. Other times, it just requires a good friend or mentor. You’ll just never know which one until you give it a try.

Each of us struggle with negative tendencies in our own way. I too often struggle with jealousy, and procrastination, and need for approval, and lack of self-discipline. For you, it may be anger, laziness, or a critical spirit. We all have weaknesses.

But we can all choose to no longer be defined by our predispositions. We can see them, instead, as our greatest opportunity to grow. And choose our own future instead.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

There’s more to life than buying stuff.

There are many wonderful people pursuing and promoting simplicity. Fortunately, some of them are gifted in communication and choose to encourage and inspire us with their words. I enjoy reading their unique perspective. I’m sure you will too.

So fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea on this beautiful weekend. Find a quiet moment. And enjoy some encouraging words about finding more simplicity in your life today.

The Science Of Why You Should Spend Your Money On Experiences | Fast Company by Jay Cassano. You don’t have infinite money. Spend it on stuff that research says makes you happy.

Why I Wear the Exact Same Thing to Work Every Day | Bazaar by Matilda Kahl. An art director on why she leaves the creativity behind when it comes to her professional wardrobe.

The Neurological Pleasures of Fast Fashion | The Atlantic by Marc Bain. Research shows that the brain finds pleasure in the pursuit of inexpensive things, and high-street chains and online retailers sites alike are cashing in.

Simplify—It’s Not Just a Nice Idea | Q Ideas by Nancy Sleeth. “Simplify your life.” “De-clutter.” These are not just trendy self-help phrases, these are Gospel ideas and key to living a sustainable, abundant life.

Stuff it: Millennials Have No Room for Their Parents’ Treasures | Washington Post by Jura Koncius. A seismic shift of stuff is underway in homes all over America.

A Simple, Helpful Guide to Start Your Own Blog

It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to explain how influential blogging has become in my life. Becoming Minimalist was launched on a Monday evening in just a matter of minutes. I didn’t sit down at the computer that evening to start a blog. I just wanted to read and learn more about minimalism and owning less.

But before the evening was over, this blog was born and this post was written. A simple decision, made and executed in a manner of minutes, has changed my life in nearly every imaginable way.

I wouldn’t change anything about it. In fact, my only regret is that I didn’t start earlier.

I have written countless posts and articles urging others to make blogging a discipline in their life. But I have never offered the steps to make it a reality—until now.

Learning to blog well is a lifelong endeavor. But getting started is quite simple. It requires only a few minutes and a few dollars and I have broken the process into 7 simple, easy-to-understand parts.

A Simple, Helpful Guide to Starting Your Own Blog

1. Establish a Home.

A blog’s home consists of two parts: 1) a domain address and 2) a server.

A domain is your web address (www._______.com). And a server is the computer space you will buy to host your website and all its information.

Don’t worry about this. It’s easier than it sounds—and we’ll walk you through it. Bluehost, the server I use and recommend, has made this step affordable and user-friendly.

Your domain address is an important decision, but don’t get stuck overthinking it. It can be changed in the future if you’d like. But more importantly, whatever name you come up with first is usually the best place to start. Most websites will help you find alternatives if your first choice is already taken.

Using Bluehost for both domain registration and server hosting is the easiest option (the domain registration is free on Bluehost) and it is the server recommended by WordPress, the platform most used for blogging. Bluehost prices are reasonable. Their customer service is always available to help (email, chat, and telephone—I’ve used them all). And their 30-day money back guarantee makes starting an easy choice.

The first step to starting your own blog is to visit Bluehost and register your own domain. Click the “Get Started Now” button and choose a plan. You can select the cheapest plan for $3.95/month (yup, your own website for less than $50/year). But I use the “Plus” package at $6.95/month. It costs a bit more—but it allows unlimited websites, unlimited email addresses, and unlimited website space. I’ve never regretted the few extra dollars.

There are other upgrades available and offered throughout the process, but I don’t think any of them are necessary.

After selecting and registering a domain, install WordPress on your new domain (WordPress is an easy-to-use platform for writing and publishing content).

Installing WordPress on your new domain is as easy as clicking the “Install WordPress” button from your Bluehost Control Panel. It really is as simple as this 3-minute video explains.

Keep in mind that Bluehost is available 24 hours/day to help you with any questions if you have any problems. If you’ve always wanted a blog or website but were too intimidated to get started, please don’t be. It’s never been easier to get started.

2. Craft Your Design.

After registering a domain and installing WordPress, you can log into WordPress and begin blogging—literally, within minutes of reading this post.

Your blog will be loaded with a default theme. A “theme” is the design of your website—and WordPress offers hundreds of them for free. If you don’t love the preloaded theme, more free WordPress themes can be found through the “Appearance” link inside the WordPress Dashboard.

If you want even more customization, you can purchase a “Premium theme for WordPress.” The price of these themes tend to be quite affordable. While I used a free WordPress theme for the first two years of Becoming Minimalist, I currently use a premium theme built on the Genesis framework. Considering the time investment I have made into this website, the professional and customizable features are well worth the investment.

As you do craft the look of your blog, keep the reader’s experience first and foremost in your mind. Make your text large enough to be read easily. Avoid white text on black backgrounds. Keep your content front and center. Limit distractions (ads, links, tabs, sidebars). Display clearly your blog’s name and goal. Write helpful words with your reader in mind. And include an “About Me” page with your picture—readers want to associate a face with the words.

You will probably want to include some images in your post. Flickr offers millions of searchable images under a Creative Commons license— free to use if you include proper attribution.

3. Gather Necessary Tools.

One of the best features of WordPress is the variety of plugins created for the platform. Think of plugins as unique tools built to solve problems or offer opportunities.

Adding plugins to your WordPress site is, again, as easy as clicking an Install button. From inside the WordPress dashboard, the Plugins feature can be easily accessed from the menu on the left. Once inside the plugins area, click “add new” and search for the plugin you would like to install. Once you find it, click the “Install Now” button.

There are literally thousands of plugins to choose from. But, for getting started, here are the only 5 you need:

Akismet. Protect your blog from comment spam.
Share Buttons by GetSocial. Adds Twitter/FB/Pinterest buttons.
Google XML Sitemaps. Enables search engines to find your content.
Jetpack. A WordPress plugin that enables helpful functions (stats).
WP Super Cache. A plugin to help your content load faster.

You may also want to install Google Analytics on your webpage to better track statistics. You can blog without it, but it’ll be nice to have in the future. Here is a brief, 1-minute tutorial on the steps.

4. Define Your Success.

People start blogs for any number of different reasons. Some people hope to make extra money, craft a new career, or create passive income. Others blog to distinguish themselves in their career field.

But not everybody has professional reasons. Some writers are simply looking for a creative outlet. Others are looking for an online journal, a place to express their thoughts, or just want to share baby pictures with their grandparents on the other side of world. Each of these are worthy goals.

Every blogger gets to choose their definition of success—and each blogger gets to act accordingly.

Your definition of success can always change. Becoming Minimalist was initially created as an online record of our journey into owning less. As a community began to be established, it became a place where I found encouragement and inspiration to keep going. Eventually, it became a website dedicated to the intentional promotion of minimalism. With each passing definition of success, my specific approach to blogging changed.

As you begin blogging, articulate your intended purpose in your own mind—because your definition of success should be based upon it.

5. Be Consistent.

I have found many benefits to blogging. It has made me a better writer, a better thinker, and has motivated me to live a more intentional life. I would recommend it to anyone.

However, blogging can be difficult at times. At the very least, it requires the discipline to sit down and write on a consistent basis. I realize not everybody enjoys writing. And if you hate it, blogging is probably not the best creative outlet for you.

But even for those who do enjoy writing, blogging requires consistency. Growing a community requires you to remain present and engaged. Showing up on a regular basis does not mean you need to blog every day. But it does require you to show up consistently.

It is this consistency that forces many of the benefits listed above. You can only become a better writer if you sit down to write. And the best way to add intentionality in your life is to sit down and record the things you are observing.

Consistency benefits the community. But equally important, it benefits the writer. I stand as proof.

6. Connect with Others.

Your writing has value and carries potential to influence and change lives.

It is important, therefore, to connect your writing with potential readers. If you are not on social media, I would encourage you to do so. Share your posts with your friends on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and elsewhere.

Each of the social media sites (Google+ included) offers a unique approach to connecting with readers and utilizes a slightly different language. Become active on 1-2 of them and learn best how to use them. Here is how I use each.

Take time to find other bloggers who are producing similar content. Connect with them via Twitter or email introducing yourself and your goals. Include links on your site that help readers discover more people writing on similar topics. Links make the Internet work—and they are the best way to get noticed in a busy, noisy world.

If you want people to subscribe to your blog and receive posts via email, you will need to set that up. Most bloggers consider an email list the most important thing you can do online. Again, software has made this relatively easy. I use MailChimp and recommend it.

7. Grow with Your Blog.

Your website will change. I know mine has. You will discover other writers and find new blogging strategies. You will find new tools and new opportunities to share your content. As your site begins to grow, you may choose to invest more time and money into it.

If your experience is anything like mine, these opportunities will come from any number of sources. Each stage of growth will arrive when you most need it.

But in the end, your blog will grow… and so will you.

***

Note: I am a Bluehost affiliate which means the company has graciously offered me a small commission every time someone signs up via one of my links. This does not influence my recommendation. I have used Bluehost from the very beginning and continue to do so today.

What We Consume Determines The Lives We Live

For most of my life, I gave little thought to the food that I ate. Whether for a meal or a late night snack, if I liked the taste, I’d eat it. This was the extent of meal planning.

Minimalism actually made me a healthier eater. It brought intentionality into my life in ways I never imagined—health, exercise, and diet included. Recently, I gave up sugar. I doubt the discipline will last a lifetime, but it’s been a helpful experiment just to see what life is like without it and how my body responds.

And my body will respond. It always does. Everything we place into our body has an effect on it—either positive or negative.

What we consume always determines the lives that we live.

We can see this, most easily, with the food that we eat.

But this is a principle with further reaching application than the food we eat. This is a truth that rings true with almost everything we choose to consume: books, music, television, websites, just to name a few.

Think about it. If you choose to read books and listen to podcasts primarily about business and productivity, your mind is going to sharpen its focus on those things. You will begin to see the world in this way and act accordingly.

If you choose to receive your news every evening from the Drudge Report or Fox News, you will arrive at a much different view of the world (and political parties) than someone who consumes their news exclusively from MSNBC. Equally so, if The Daily Show is your only source of world news, your worldview will become defined by it.

Even the music we listen to shapes our minds and our hearts. It carries dramatic influence on the focus of our mind throughout the day.

I think this is important. What we choose to consume determines the direction of our lives. We know this to be true concerning food so we adjust our diet and meal plans.

But for some reason, we are less vigilant when it comes to the other influences we allow into our lives. It is wise for us to pause often and review the influences we are allowing into our mind and our body. Let this serve as a warning.

But this post is not just a warning. It is also an invitation.

We can also use this truth to our advantage and use it to bring about the positive changes we desire to make in our lives.

Are you trying to get healthier? Intentionally consume books and articles that encourage you to do so. Lots of them.

Are you trying to become a better parent or spouse? Surround yourself with people who are trying to accomplish the same.

Are you trying to become more successful in a specific line of work? Absorb as much as you can about the topic.

More specifically, Becoming Minimalist is a community of people who are dedicated to finding more life by owning less stuff. But this approach to life is countercultural. Our society seems built and supported by the complete opposite approach. If we are not intentional concerning the influences we allow into our lives, we make the journey even more difficult.

Are you struggling to conquer the clutter in your home or overcome consumerism in your life? Choose carefully what you surround yourself with. Put down the sales catalogs and the glamour magazines. Mute commercials or turn off television altogether. Read more and more websites dedicated to owning less (I recommend Zen Habits, The Minimalists, Be More with Less, Frugaling, The Art of Simple, Slow Your Home, or No Sidebar). As you do, you will find the changes become more and more natural.

The changes we desire to make in life become increasingly possible when we change the influences around us. What we consume always determines what we become—whether for the good or the bad.

See the Good in Everyone

Recently, I visited Stockholm on behalf of Camino Magazine. Camino is Sweden’s largest sustainable living magazine. They were wonderful hosts organizing speaking opportunities at their own Sustainability Conference and local businesses.

I found the city to be beautiful. And the people even more.

In the middle of the week, there was a short break in our speaking schedule and we were invited by one of our hosts on a tour of some local museums. We quickly agreed.

Our host’s friend, Stina, accompanied us on our tour. And, at one point after lunch, she told us her story:

Stina once worked in the film and media industry in Sweden. But recently, she has found a new passion—baking. This is where the story gets amazing because her bakery is anything but ordinary.

Stina had begun to notice a surfacing problem in Stockholm: high school students who did not fit the typical mold in Sweden were falling through the cracks, dropping out of school—sometimes by choice, sometimes not. Because of the high priority placed on education in Sweden, these students were left with few options and frustrated parents.

Stina decided to act and did something almost nobody would ever think to do. She built a wood-oven in her home and (even more significantly) she invited over a number of high school drop-outs to bake bread. Today, 18 months later, she hosts some of society’s most at-risk teenagers in her home 5 days/week where they bake goods for a local cafe.

Even Stina’s neighbor has gotten involved building a mobile cart to help deliver goods around town.

As anyone would do after hearing the amazing story, we inquired about this bakery and were thrilled to receive a tour. (pictured above is the bakery with one student and one volunteer—I’ll let you guess which is which).

Stina will be the first to tell you it has not always been easy. There have been difficult times as trust needed to be built. But she can talk for hours about how this little bakery has touched and changed the lives of forgotten teenagers in Sweden.

It all started with one simple decision: Stina decided to believe in the good of people. Even when others thought hope was lost, Stina saw beauty.

She found good and potential and opportunity where others saw none. For the remainder of her life, Stina will be called blessed. And her positive influence will be extended to future generations through the lives she believed and invested in.

Depending on your fluency in Swedish, you can read more about the bakery.

***

A version of this story originally appeared in the March 11 edition of the Becoming Minimalist Newsletter. I just wanted to share it here as well.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of everything that distracts us from it. It requires a conscious decision because it is a countercultural lifestyle that stands against the culture of overconsumption that surrounds us.

The world we live in is not friendly to the pursuit of minimalism. Its tendencies and relentless advertising campaigns call us to acquire more, better, faster, and newer. The journey of finding simplicity requires consistent inspiration.

For that reason, I hope you will make an effort this weekend to find a quiet moment with a cup of coffee or tea and enjoy some of these hand-picked articles to encourage more simplicity in your life.

Ownership Isn’t Real, We Rent This Life | Frugaling by Sam Lustgarten. We are simply temporary custodians—holders—of physical objects that we lug around.

I Achieved the American Dream—and It Was Awful | Yahoo by Darlena Cunha. I’m still suffering from that old American Dream.

The Anti-Bucket List | Zen Habits by Leo Babauta. Life isn’t a big todo list. The most amazing things are right in front of us, right where we are.

Minimalist Living: When a Lot Less Is More | TIME by Josh Sanburn. A lifestyle of owning just the essentials has a small but passionate following among millennials.

Why You’re Buying Things You Don’t Need (And How to Stop!) | Fulfillment Daily by Daisy Grewal. This is some interesting research.

If You Wouldn’t Do It for Free, Don’t Do It For Money

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

Recently, I have been thinking through a new approach to money.

I am still working it through in my mind, and I’m a bit hesitant to write about it here. But I think this community can help add perspective.

My new, guiding philosophy towards work and income is this, “If I wouldn’t do it for free, I won’t do it for money.”

I realize, in many ways, this is an idealistic view of the world. But I am starting to wonder if this approach is more available to us than we think.

Still, it feels to me, at times, this statement comes from a place of privilege. And I will readily admit that. I grew up in a middle-class family that provided stability, support, and opportunity. I do not have unpaid medical bills on my desk from an unexpected surgery. I am not a single parent trying to raise my kids despite a deadbeat spouse. Nor was my position downsized due to unexpected corporate layoffs during the last recession.

I am fortunate to work a job I love and live in a country that provides me the freedom to do so. This is not something I take for granted.

I realize there are circumstances (sometimes caused by others) when we are called to selflessly sacrifice for our family. And I recognize there are certain seasons of life when we may be required to do work that we do not enjoy simply because there are people counting upon us to do so.

I just wonder if those situations are less common than we think.

18 months ago, I transitioned into promoting minimalism as my full-time job. And I am grateful for each passing month that I continue to do so (if you’d like to know more about how we accomplish that, you can find detailed information here). Somewhere along the way, I made a conscious decision that I would only pursue projects that I wanted to pursue. If I wouldn’t do it for free, I wouldn’t do it for money.

Probably, most significantly, is my approach to speaking. Despite an ever-increasing schedule, I continue to not charge a fee for my presentations—asking only for travel and accommodations to be covered. Most public speakers tell me I am crazy and that goes against every rule in the book.

“Set a fee,” they tell me. “Nobody will take you seriously if you don’t. A set fee allows you to offer a ‘discount’ to help close the deal with a potential client.”

But I see it very differently. Because I do not have a speaking fee, I can never be bought. I am never obligated to speak or attend an event just because somebody is willing to pay the price. Instead, each request is considered and weighed individually. Is it a good opportunity to promote minimalism? Is it an organization I believe in? Is the opportunity worth the investment? And while financial compensation is typically offered (or requested for long-term commitments), it is never the deciding factor. If I wouldn’t do it for free, I won’t do it for money.

I have adopted this approach to speaking, but also to every project I choose to pursue.

Our time should not be governed by the amount of money promised, but by the desires of our heart. (tweet that)

As I continue to pursue this approach, I have identified some specific thoughts towards life that must be present in the person who adopts it.

1. Hard work is not to be feared. If the inherent joy found in work is not appreciated in somebody’s life, this approach will always crumble. We must appreciate work for the sake of work, not just for the financial compensation that arises from it. There is something to be appreciated about working hard. We were designed to enjoy the process. We find fulfillment in it. It is satisfying to lie in bed at night with a tired body that has been both active and productive.

2. Work is not always enjoyable. With any job, there are aspects of work that are frustrating and difficult—even with the greatest dream job in the world. I am not encouraging anyone to relinquish perseverance or to refuse pushing through the difficult parts of work. For example, I love writing, but the process can be very difficult at times. I am able to persevere because the work results in something I am proud to have produced. Even though I would do it for free, I know there will be difficult moments along the way.

3. Life pursuits can not be purely selfish. Those who believe they will find enjoyment entertaining only selfish desires will never survive under this approach to work. Ultimately, we must see our lives and work as opportunity for contribution—an opportunity to offer our talents and skills to a community of people who need them. If you are entirely self-seeking in your approach to life and only enjoy pursuits that benefit your own self, this approach to doing what you love will only suffice in the short-term. Lounging each day on the beach for the rest of your life is not the answer.

4. This approach rings more true for those willing to live with less. Because I have adopted a philosophy that says, “I will only do it for money if I would do it free,” I have turned down several, significant money-making opportunities. But I don’t mind because I have learned to enjoy less. As a result, my needs and views of money have changed dramatically over the past 6 years. I am certainly not against being compensated for work, but pursuing riches is no longer a driving goal of mine. I don’t need the money and I don’t want the money. Instead, I want to live a deliberate life that focuses on my strengths and passions and invites others to rethink the role of possessions in their life.

5. This approach does not necessarily require a new job. I think, at first reading, this sounds as if I am urging everybody to quit their soul-crushing day job and try to monetize their passion. But that could not be further from the truth. Instead, I would push people to reconsider their views on their current employment. I have a friend who works at a bank providing agricultural loans to local farmers. He’s really good at it. He helps farmers think deeper about their budgeting and their business plan for success. Then, he equips each of them with the resources they need to plant seed in the spring and bring in the harvest in the fall. This, I believe, is important work. And while some days, he probably wishes he could leave it all behind and golf every day instead, maybe, in actuality, if he looked a little bit deeper, he would realize that he really does enjoy his job. It is fulfilling for him to help farmers succeed at what they do. Maybe, he would do this for free if given the chance. And just maybe this ideal is a little bit closer to reality than he originally thought.

Ultimately, I offer this philosophy not as a presciption for your life, but as a description of mine. Our seasons of life differ. But I still hope it has spurred new thoughts in yours.

I would be grateful if you could help round out my thinking in the comment section below. Is this an approach to life that everyone should seek to adopt?

Have you adopted this philosophy in your own life? How has it worked? What have you learned? Or, are you in a season of life when this is just not possible? Do you forsee any long-term obstacles to this approach?

I am anxious to add your experience to my perspective. And I plan to be actively engaging with your thoughts over the next several days.

9 Easy Ways to Become Unsatisfied with Life

We all want to know at the end that our lives counted for something—that we can rest satisfied and fulfilled at the path we chose to walk. I think that is probably the reason why this article (Top Five Regrets of the Dying) continues to be one of the most viral posts on the Internet.

Nobody wants to reach the end of their life and experience regret. Instead, we desire to experience satisfaction with the one life we’ve been given. We desire to live a story that is worth being retold.

Unfortunately, our world has made it too easy to experience the opposite. Our society has championed pursuits that often fade. We spend our lives pursuing them, but have little to show at the very end. And too many, in this scenario, experience regret at the lives they chose to live.

Rarely is the easy path the wisest path. And just because a pursuit has become common to those around us does not mean it results in a desired end. Consider these 9 common ways to become unsatisfied with life:

Focus entirely on yourself. The size of our universe shrinks considerably when we place ourselves at the center. And the people who are most focused on themselves are the least satisfied in life. On the other hand, those who see their life as an opportunity to bring joy to others quickly find it themselves.

Treat money as the goal. Personal wealth is promoted and encouraged at every turn in our society—as if becoming rich is the ultimate goal any of us could achieve. I am certainly not against working hard and being compensated for your talents. But I am against viewing money as the goal of our life… or even the goal of the day in front of us. Too often, we pursue it at the expense of more satisfying things.

Make pleasure your chief concern. Related to the pursuit of money, our greatest contributions are often sacrificed because we pursue pleasure instead (or comfort and luxury which are closely related). We sacrifice long-term resources in order to experience short-term pleasure. Certainly there could be a strong argument made that a satisfying life is a pleasurable one, but we are too quick to settle for short-term, temporal pleasure rather than one that results from a life lived with purpose and intention.

Blame everybody else. Blame is far too prevalent in our world. We blame our parents, our spouses, our employers, our teachers, our government, our upbringing, our environment, and our financial condition (just to name a few). We blame others for our faults and our unhappiness. And every time we do, we lose. Because the decision to blame others for our shortcomings will always keep us from making the changes in our lives that are so desperately needed.

Be defined by your negative circumstances. Jack Kornfield once said, “Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” This is an important truth and an important promise. Our lives are not ultimately defined by the negative circumstances that happened in our past. They may have affected the trajectory of our lives, but they do not write the final chapter. We hold the pen.

Hide your true self. There is little to be gained in living a life of inauthenticity. Not only is it unfair to those around us, it is also unfair to us. Those who live openly and honestly, recognizing and admitting their weaknesses and faults inspire others to do the same. And in the end, all that is gained is true and honest and strangely satisfying.

Allow pride to guide you. Pride is far more subtle an influence on our life than we realize. And it is often a byproduct of success—success in almost any endeavor. But pride always steers us incorrectly. It refuses the opportunity to learn from others and be influenced by them. It keeps us in bondage to the limited vantage point of our experience.

Miss the journey for the destination. Ursula K. LeGuin said it like this, “It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” Too often, we live our lives from destination to destination. We look back and mark the significant accomplishments as the milestones that define our lives: a graduation, a new job, a move, or overcoming a tragedy. But life is not lived exclusively in these destinations. In fact, it is far more often lived in the pathways between them. Appreciate the joy in the journey rather than always hurrying to the next destination.

Carry more than you need. Every excess is added burden to our lives. And yet we continue to pursue and accumulate more than we need—more house, more car, more clothes, more dishes. Owning less means less cleaning, less burden, less anxiety, and less stress each and every day. It provides the space and opportunity to pursue the things in life that matter—the very items that bring lasting satisfaction to our lives.

Only a fool believes the wide road is necessarily the right road. Finding a life of lasting satisfaction and fulfillment is rarely found looking in the same places as everyone else. It requires an entirely different story to be written.

9 Common Ways to Become Unsatisfied with Life

We all want to know at the end that our lives counted for something—that we can rest satisfied and fulfilled at the path we chose to walk. I think that is probably the reason why this article (Top Five Regrets of the Dying) continues to be one of the most viral posts on the Internet.

Nobody wants to reach the end of their life and experience regret. Instead, we desire to experience satisfaction with the one life we’ve been given. We desire to live a story that is worth being retold.

Unfortunately, our world has made it too easy to experience the opposite. Our society has championed pursuits that often fade. We spend our lives pursuing them, but have little to show at the very end. And too many, in this scenario, experience regret at the lives they chose to live.

Rarely is the easy path the wisest path. And just because a pursuit has become common to those around us does not mean it results in a desired end. Consider these 9 common ways to become unsatisfied with life:

Focus entirely on yourself. The size of our universe shrinks considerably when we place ourselves at the center. And the people who are most focused on themselves are the least satisfied in life. On the other hand, those who see their life as an opportunity to bring joy to others quickly find it themselves.

Treat money as the goal. Personal wealth is promoted and encouraged at every turn in our society—as if becoming rich is the ultimate goal any of us could achieve. I am certainly not against working hard and being compensated for your talents. But I am against viewing money as the goal of our life… or even the goal of the day in front of us. Too often, we pursue it at the expense of more satisfying things.

Make pleasure your chief concern. Related to the pursuit of money, our greatest contributions are often sacrificed because we pursue pleasure instead (or comfort and luxury which are closely related). We sacrifice long-term resources in order to experience short-term pleasure. Certainly there could be a strong argument made that a satisfying life is a pleasurable one, but we are too quick to settle for short-term, temporal pleasure rather than one that results from a life lived with purpose and intention.

Blame everybody else. Blame is far too prevalent in our world. We blame our parents, our spouses, our employers, our teachers, our government, our upbringing, our environment, and our financial condition (just to name a few). We blame others for our faults and our unhappiness. And every time we do, we lose. Because the decision to blame others for our shortcomings will always keep us from making the changes in our lives that are so desperately needed.

Be defined by your negative circumstances. Jack Kornfield once said, “Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” This is an important truth and an important promise. Our lives are not ultimately defined by the negative circumstances that happened in our past. They may have affected the trajectory of our lives, but they do not write the final chapter. We hold the pen.

Hide your true self. There is little to be gained in living a life of inauthenticity. Not only is it unfair to those around us, it is also unfair to us. Those who live openly and honestly, recognizing and admitting their weaknesses and faults inspire others to do the same. And in the end, all that is gained is true and honest and strangely satisfying.

Allow pride to guide you. Pride is far more subtle an influence on our life than we realize. And it is often a byproduct of success—success in almost any endeavor. But pride always steers us incorrectly. It refuses the opportunity to learn from others and be influenced by them. It keeps us in bondage to the limited vantage point of our experience.

Miss the journey for the destination. Ursula K. LeGuin said it like this, “It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.” Too often, we live our lives from destination to destination. We look back and mark the significant accomplishments as the milestones that define our lives: a graduation, a new job, a move, or overcoming a tragedy. But life is not lived exclusively in these destinations. In fact, it is far more often lived in the pathways between them. Appreciate the joy in the journey rather than always hurrying to the next destination.

Carry more than you need. Every excess is added burden to our lives. And yet we continue to pursue and accumulate more than we need—more house, more car, more clothes, more dishes. Owning less means less cleaning, less burden, less anxiety, and less stress each and every day. It provides the space and opportunity to pursue the things in life that matter—the very items that bring lasting satisfaction to our lives.

Only a fool believes the wide road is necessarily the right road. Finding a life of lasting satisfaction and fulfillment is rarely found looking in the same places as everyone else. It requires an entirely different story to be written.