Joshua Becker's Blog, page 104

The Appeal of Generosity

“Generosity is a mark of bravery.” —Sitting Bull

I have a good friend named Mark. A bit older than me, he has three daughters, the youngest of which is 9. Not long ago, over a warm cup of coffee and a muffin, Mark shared with me the story of how their family had just bought a new puppy.

Mark’s youngest daughter has always been good about saving money. Whenever she’d receive money from a birthday, Christmas, or a weekly allowance, she’d put it away in her piggy bank. The bills and the coins began to pile up. And, after years of faithful saving, she had $200 in her little pink bank.

This was, until, she decided she wanted a dog. Mark and his wife were not against the idea of owning a family dog, they both had dogs growing up. And when their daughter noticed a handmade flier at their local coffee shop posted by a farmer looking for loving homes for his new puppies, everything seemed to be lining up perfectly.

On a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon, they drove the entire family out to the farm to get a firsthand look at the new puppies and meet the parents.

Upon arrival, it didn’t take long to notice the small farmhouse and recognize this farmer’s family lived a very frugal lifestyle—almost certainly because they had to. They worked hard with their hands every day, but in an age where more and more land is being accumulated by corporate-driven farming operations, it’s tough to get by as a small, family-owned farm.

After visiting with the farmer and playing with the puppies, they returned home promising to make a decision by the morning. By the time they had pulled out of the dirt driveway, Mark and his wife knew they would be returning tomorrow to bring home a new family member. But first, they had an important life lesson to teach their daughter… the instigator of this huge lifestyle change.

“Dogs are a big responsibility,” Mark told me. “And we wanted to use this opportunity to teach our daughter some life lessons about responsibility, hard work and discipline.”

And so, that evening, they asked their daughter if she was willing to pay for the dog with her own money.

“But the puppies are free,” she replied.

“Yes, I know, ” Mark responded. “But think about all the love and care that farmer and wife have invested into our puppy’s life already providing food and water and a warm home to live in. Not to mention all the time they invested finding loving homes for each of them. And they don’t have much. Don’t you think it would be nice to give them something even though the puppies are free?”

In the back of his mind, Mark knew his daughter’s financial investment would help her realize the responsibility she was undertaking and make her more likely to follow through with the responsibility of caring for the needy puppy.

“I’d like you to go up to your room and think about how much you’d like to offer the farmer as a gift. Then, come tell me. It’s entirely up to you.”

About five minutes later, she came bounding down the steps with a skip.

“I would like to give him $100 for the puppy,” she said with a smile.

Mark was caught a bit off guard by the generous offer. In his mind, he had thought $25 would be a pretty nice gesture. I mean, the puppies were technically free. He never dreamt his perpetual-saver daughter would give up half of her entire net worth for the puppy. She had spent years saving that money.

Not sure how to respond, Mark thought maybe, if she thought about it a little bit longer, she’d change her mind and lower her offer. There are a lot of nice things she could buy with her money… once she remembered that, maybe she’d pick a number closer to what he thought was more than sufficient.

So he responded, “Wow, that is sure a big number. Maybe you should think a little bit longer if you really want to give up that much. Why don’t you go back up to your room and really think through this decision? Take a bit longer than 5 minutes this time. And then, whatever you decide will be our final decision.”

She walked back up the stairs a little slower than she had descended.

Fifteen minutes later, Mark was starting to wonder if she had been distracted by something else and forgotten the entire assignment. But just as he was getting ready to retrieve her, her head popped around the corner as she neared the stairs. The skip had returned to her step.

Mark looked forward to hearing the new decision. The longer he had thought about his daughter giving up half her saved money for the free puppy, the more he looked forward to her returning with a lower number. This dog would cost them plenty of money in the future anyway.

“Well, what did you decide?” He asked as soon as she was within the sound of his voice.

Her response will forever be remembered.

“Well,” she began. “I was thinking about what you said about how much work they have put in already providing a nice home for the puppy. And then, I started looking around my room and thinking about this nice house that we live in and all the nice stuff we have and how the farmer and his wife have so little. And so, dad, I have decided to change how much money I would like to give them for the puppy.”

“Rather than $100, I would like to give them all $200 in my piggy bank.”

—

I have thought about this story countless times since Mark first shared it with me because I think it illustrates such an important life truth:

Generosity is incredibly appealing!

Every study ever completed on the personal effects of generosity tells us the same thing: Being generous is one of the quickest paths to happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction. Generous actions result in reduced stress, increased confidence, better social connection. Generous people are shown to be healthier, happier, and less depressed. They experience a greater sense of self-worth and life fulfillment.

But I’m not sure we need studies to recognize the appeal of generosity. It is written on our hearts.

In a world that constantly promotes happiness in terms of self-centered pursuits, research only confirms what our experiences and hearts have been telling us all along.

Generosity is appealing. And those who give of their time and money and expertise to others never regret it. They discover a better way to live.

Generosity certainly requires courage and bravery. And that is where so many get hung up. But the more we make generosity an intentional pursuit in our lives, the sooner we find the courage to embrace it.

The more we remove ourselves from the ever-increasing speed of the consumeristic treadmill we find ourselves on, the more we are drawn to others-centered living.

You see, the more opportunity we find to walk quietly into our rooms and notice the blessings around us, the more we discover how much we have to offer. And the more time we commit to intentionally noticing the great needs of others, the more drawn we are to meet them.

As a result of intentionally pursuing generosity and taking time to consider the profound benefits of it, we return to the world resolved to give and do more.

My friend’s daughter discovered this to be true. And so will you.

How to Use the Principle of the Tipping Point

In sociology, a tipping point is “a point in time when a group—or a large number of group members—rapidly and dramatically changes its behavior by widely adopting a previously rare practice.” In some circles, it represents the percentage required to change the direction or behavior of a crowd.

Malcolm Gladwell wrote a New York Times bestseller on this entire premise, The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference.

According to Gladwell, the percentage required to change the direction of a crowd is usually much smaller than most of us assume and the notion of tipping points can be used to explain why change often happens quickly and unexpectedly.

In the same way as a virus can spread rapidly through a population, so too can behavioural change, particularly within a group. For instance, a small action by one individual within a crowd can influence the actions of other individuals within the crowd, and so on, until the behaviour becomes widespread. Thus, small, initial changes have the potential to make significant differences overall.

One of the best examples of how a small action can influence the behavior of an entire crowd is this famous YouTube video of one person who single-handedly sparked an entire dance party among strangers. It’s short and pretty good.

Tipping points can often be much smaller than we realize. Some have even made the claim that it takes only 6% to change the entire direction of a crowd (though that statistic appears unsubstantitated by any legitimate research).

In reality, the actual percentage required to change the direction of a crowd is based on any number of significant factors: the change agents involved (how persuasive and reputable are those attempting to change the direction), the focus/intent of the crowd (a meandering protest is easier to persuade than a focused crowd heading to a specific location) and the substance of the change (drawing attention to the need for a hasty evacuation, for example).

But the point is, a small action by one individual within a crowd can often influence the actions of others within the crowd—which holds the potential to influence even more, potentially to the level of reaching a tipping point for the entire crowd. And I think that is important to realize.

I often wonder to myself if minimalism could ever reach the size of critical mass in society. Could the number of people intentionally owning less ever grow to the level of tipping point that causes others to rapidly and dramatically change their behavior even though it is a previously rare practice?

My hope is yes.

This website and others like it continue to grow. Stories get covered. Books are being written. New websites continue to emerge. And films are being made.

Even so, despite the growth, there is significant work to be done. Last month, over 1 million readers visited Becoming Minimalist and the Facebook group has grown to 300,000 people with a weekly reach over 2 million. Those are impressive numbers. But still, to reach even a 6% threshold, in America alone we would need 20 million readers… and that’s still a long way off (plus, there is no assurance that percentage would even have the desired impact).

Which got me wondering… maybe I’m focusing on the wrong crowd.

Maybe the question shouldn’t be, “How can we change an entire society?”

Maybe the question should be, “How can I first change my family or my friendship group?” Because, in these cases, the tipping point is more attainable and entirely possible.

Think of it this way, based on the principle of the tipping point, no matter what positive influence you are hoping to have, you don’t need to convince everyone, you begin by convincing one other person.

If your desire is to get your family to eat healthier, you don’t need to convince every member of your family to make the change. You just need to convince one family member. If you have a family of four, and two of them are asking for more vegetables and less processed food around the dinner table, your family is going to begin serving healthier meals.

If you want to see your friends engage in a healthier lifestyle, you don’t need to convince all of them to start going to the gym with you. Instead, just convince one person. When you two begin spending time at the gym in the evenings, there is a good chance one other will choose to join you. And when they do, the others might choose to come along as well. A tipping point has been reached.

If your desire is minimalist (or even clutterfree) living, but you cannot get your partner to align with your desire. Rather than forcing him/her to come along, gently encourage other family members to embrace the lifestyle. Sell your son or daughter on the benefits. Because when two people in the family desire a clutterfree environment, there is a good chance the environment will begin to change.

If you want to inspire the people around to better living, you don’t need a microphone, you only need a conversation. (tweet that)

Allow your example and your story to change the habits of one person. In so doing, your small action within a crowd can influence the actions of other individuals within the crowd. Their action can influence others. And a tipping point within your circle of influence can be reached.

And maybe then, as more and more circles of people embrace minimalist living, a tipping point in our society can be attained.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Never underestimate the importance of removing possessions you don’t need.

Encouragement is important in all areas of life, but especially when trying to live a life different than those around us.

Encouragement provides us with motivation to persevere. It invites us to dream dreams of significance for our lives. And it begs us to work diligently with optimism and promise.

Overcoming the pull of consumerism is a difficult challenge regardless of our stage in life. Simplicity requires encouragement. To that end, I hope you will find motivation in these articles below.

Each post was intentionality chosen to inspire simplicity in your life. For maximum effect, find a quiet moment this weekend and enjoy them with a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

The Purpose of Living Simple | No Sidebar by Melissa Camara Wilkens. Sometimes the best choices take more effort than we had hoped.

Why Ikea Causes So Much Relationship Tension | The Atlantic by Corinne Purtill. In an environment where choosing a coffee table is marketed as an expression of identity, it’s easy to project deeper meaning onto a partner’s opinion.

It’s Time to Say Goodbye to the Wedding Industry’s Most Unnecessarily Extravagant Fantasy | Quartz by Assya Barrette. Material possessions have become a part of our identity. Brands are the new tribal symbols, monetary value the new measure of our self-worth.

5 Productivity Rules You Should Know in Your 20s | Michael Gregory ii by Michael Gregory. When you live inside of a home that could pass off as a thrift store, you’re not at a high performance because that clutter distracts your mind and subconsciously changes your behavior.

How One Family Survived A One-Year ‘No Shopping’ Challenge | Good Morning America with Scott Dannemiller (2:26). A Tennessee family spent one year without buying any new clothes, gadgets, electronics, toys, books or home decor.

Owning Less is Great. Wanting Less is Better.

I love owning less.

I made a decision years ago to intentionally live with fewer possessions. It was born, mainly, out of my growing discontent with the focus of my life’s energy. As the size of my home increased and the number of things stuffed into closets grew, more and more time was spent caring for them.

While cleaning my garage one Saturday morning, I began to realize how much of my life was being stolen by the things that I own. As a result, the things that meant the most to me were being neglected. I immediately began to remove the nonessential.

Since deciding to own less, I’ve experienced countless benefits: more time, more money, more freedom, more energy, less stress, and less distraction.

Owning less provides me the opportunity to pursue my greatest passions. It’s great. And I’ll never go back to my previous lifestyle.

But along the way, I discovered something even better than owning less: Wanting less. 

I’ll explain.

Not long ago, I was visiting a friend at his home down the street. As we were talking, he mentioned how nervous he was about the upcoming weekend. I began to ask why.

“Well,” he said, “we have some new friends coming over for dinner. And I’m a little embarrassed about the size of our house.” He proceeded to tell me the backstory.

Recently, he and his wife had met some new friends. And last weekend, they went to their house for dinner.

“Joshua, it was huge,” he remarked, “and beautiful and every room had gorgeous furniture in it. It was one of the nicest homes I’ve ever been in!”

But now, this coming weekend, their friends would be coming over to their home for the first time. And last weekend’s experience has left my friend self-conscious about the size of his home.

I went about my friendly-duty of assuring him he had nothing to worry about. Things would be just fine. His house was plenty big. And the feeling you get when you enter a home is far more important than square footage or the make of the furniture.

All the while, I felt a bit of sadness for him. What a crummy way to live… constantly scanning the possessions of others and comparing them to your own. There is no joy to be found in that approach to life. It will always lead to discontent and envy.

But soon after, I began to analyze the emotions and feelings I had experienced during his telling of the story. We had moved into a smaller home years ago and I couldn’t be happier with it—the benefits of a smaller home are fantastic. I don’t even want a bigger house anymore. I drive past them all the time and think to myself, “I’m sure glad I don’t have to take care of that big thing!”

As my friend was sharing his story, I began to reflect on how much my life has changed and how unattractive the constant pursuit of material possessions has become to me. Not only do I own less, I want less. And this is a wonderful place to be.

Because I don’t want to own more than I already have, I am freed from the constant comparing of my stuff to others. I am no longer bound to the incessant pursuit of more money and more stuff. I have found contentment in the things that I own. I have discovered more room for generosity. And I have begun to bend my pursuits towards things that matter.

Indeed, owning less is great, but wanting less is even better.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Fill your life with stories to tell, not stuff to show.

The simplicity/minimalism movement is a beautiful community. It is friendly, encouraging, and helpful. There is a genuine understanding that any promotion of simplicity is good for society—and there is little concern over who gets the credit.

It is a pleasure to be part of such a wonderful group of people. And I enjoy every opportunity to promote writing that encourages people to live more by owning less.

So fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea. Find a quiet moment this weekend. And enjoy some encouraging words to inspire more simplicity in your life today.

Every Thing You Own is a Relationship You’re In | Raptitude by David Cain. Much of this process is about deciding who you are and who you’re not going to be.

Getting Rid of Clutter | Paul Wilson by Paul Wilson. Clutter is the enemy of efficiency.

Why Depriving Your Kids of Toys is a Great Idea | The Guardian by Madeleine Somerville. It’s not just science that recommends you say yes to less; your wallet and the natural world outside your door agree.

People who donate to charity are much happier — and healthier | NY Post by Reuters. Giving is not just “heartwarming,” it may be literally good for our hearts as well.

Rethinking Work | New York Times by Barry Schwartz. Work that is adequately compensated is an important social good. But so is work that is worth doing.

A Season to Gather Happiness

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Rachel Macy Stafford of Hands Free Mama.

There are certain times of year when unrealistic pressures and unnecessary comparisons creep into my mind. This is one of those times. I just came off what I like to call a Live Better/Love More Summer.

With two surgeries, I had to let go of a lot. I let my children do more for themselves. I didn’t concern myself with what other people were doing and embraced what felt right for my family. I let go of the need for my home, my physique, and my life to look a certain way. I stopped trying to control the outcome and simply let things unfold. For several joyful weeks, I was able to push away the superficial and hold the significant right in my hands.

But I feel a change in the air.

As I walked home from the morning bus stop the other day, my mind raced with work deadlines, school supply lists, and practice schedules. To add to my discomfort, I noticed a few porches adorned with potted orange mums and festive autumn décor. Suddenly the triumph I felt for peeling the wet stack of advertisements off my driveway drastically diminished.

As fall approaches, back-to-school busyness ramps up, activities and duties increase, and value is placed on what is urgent, rather than on what’s important. Getting distracted from what truly matters is an easy thing to do in this high-resolution, high-standard, high-pressured, picture-perfect world we live in.

With each new season, we are bombarded with images and messages that imply our home, children, and lives would be so much better if we buy into what they’re selling. We are led to believe that foliage trimmed doors, succulent pumpkin recipes, designer boots paired with skinny jeans, and award-winning tailgate parties are the ingredients of a happy life.

But that is not truth.

When I feel myself succumbing to societal pressure and ideals, I think back to the red leaf. One year ago, something caught my eye as I walked past my bedroom window. It was a vibrant red leaf gently drifting down from a tree of green. Despite the duties and deadlines hanging over my head, I walked outside and picked up that red leaf. I thought about pinning it to my shirt as a reminder, but I didn’t need to. That red leaf got its point across. That red leaf was much more than an ordinary leaf; it was a day in my life. And quantities were limited.

Whether it be a frantic Monday or a soul-draining Wednesday, I want to see each day as a leaf drifting down, down, down. It might not be a vibrant red leaf that takes my breath away, but it’s a leaf that will never be on my tree of life again. I want to make it count by investing in what matters and not letting my moments of joy and connection get lost in the excess.

I’ve decided that this fall will not be about gathering more stuff. I am not going to add additional stress to my life or fill counters and closets with more unneeded items. Instead, I am going to gather happiness—happiness to sustain me this winter … happiness to sustain me when I encounter life’s difficult trials … happiness to sustain me in my ripe old age.

Along my Hands Free journey, I’ve discovered eight ways to let happiness into the sacred spaces of my day and life. I will be practicing as many as I can this season, and I’d love for you to join me.

8 Ways to Gather Happiness:

1. Use the phrase, “I’ll wait for you,” or “We have time.” Such offerings only cost a few minutes but have the potential to bring instant peace to any situation.

2. Accept one invitation that will make someone else happier.

Yes, you can throw a penny in the fountain.

Yes, we can read one more book.

Yes, we should have a date night! Let’s get the calendar. 

Then notice the joy YES brings; that joy is yours for the taking.

3. Decline one request that will result in greater happiness.

No, that doesn’t work for me right now.

I wish I could, but I can’t.

It’s no for today, but please ask me another time. 

Feel the relief NO brings. Commend yourself for guarding your time and energy.

4. Be a Silver-Lining Spotter. 

In the midst of a challenging moment, find the bright side:

Well, at least we didn’t miss the whole thing.

Well, it could be raining too.

Well, at least we had a few minutes to talk while we waited for the doctor. 

Added bonus: This positive practice teaches your loved ones to be Silver-Lining Spotters too.

5. Believe in the power of one. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the tasks or duties ahead of you, remind yourself that you do not have to do them all at once. Just start with one. Get into the habit of asking: What matters most right now?

6. Use meaningful measurements of success. Resist the urge to let society define success by achievements, awards, monetary value, or public recognition. Consider attributes like courage, effort, honesty, patience, determination, risk-taking, and compassion when evaluating yourself or your loved ones. Make a point to acknowledge your beginning point and frequently celebrate your progress.

7. Provide breathing room. Remind yourself that you and your loved ones need time to pause each day. Don’t let guilt or pressure fool you into thinking do-nothing moments are a waste of time. Say to yourself: “This is my breathing room. This is fuel for my soul. This pause will help me be more creative … more productive … more joyful … more present.”

8. Fulfill true needs rather than superficial needs. In the flurry and frenzy of our busy lives, our most critical needs often get buried beneath extraneous needs and immediate needs. But the needs that keep our spirits alive, strengthen bonds, and build promising futures are the needs that must not be forgotten. He needs love. She needs love. You need love. And we have the power to fulfill that need.

This fall will be far from perfect. I’m sure I’ll lose my way a time or three. But I can’t help but believe placing value on what matters now will reflect in my children’s lives later—particularly in the way they connect, create, and cultivate family traditions.

Part of me hopes that one crisp fall night, my daughters will call their children to the back porch where a big fat pumpkin will sit waiting to be carved. As everyone ponders what expression the pumpkin should have, my older daughter will say, “I think the pumpkin should be happy. Mom always said fall was about gathering as much happiness as you can.” Perhaps my younger daughter will then refer to the fall of 2015. We didn’t grow brilliant orange mums that season, but we grew our hearts by collecting red leaves and warm hugs.

Let us gather as much happiness as we can to sustain us in the days and years ahead. (tweet that)

***

Rachel Macy Stafford is the NYT bestselling author of HANDS FREE MAMA and founder of  www.handsfreemama.com .

Rachel’s just released book, HANDS FREE LIFE, is an inspiring guide to living an intentional life. Through truthful story-telling and life-giving Habit Builders, Rachel shows us how to live with more love, more presence, and more grace. HANDS FREE LIFE goes on sale today. For more inspiration, join the Hands Free Revolution on Facebook.

7 Daily Habits for a Clutter-Free Home

Several years ago, we made a life-changing decision. We decided to remove all the possessions from our home that we didn’t need.

Over the course of 9 months, we removed 50% of our stuff. And over the course of a few years, we removed 60-70% of our things and moved into a smaller home.

I discovered almost immediately that the less stuff you own, the more organized and clutterfree your home becomes. Go figure.

We would soon discover 21 benefits of owning less and decide that we’d never go back to our old lives of mindless consumption.

In addition to a significant purge that cleared the space for clutterfree living, we developed simple habits to keep our home clutterfree. They were not obtrusive or burdensome in anyway. Just the opposite, in fact. Practiced daily, they take only a few minutes to complete. But together, they leave our home in a perpetual state of clutterfree (or at least, close to it).

Here are the habits I most recommend: 7 Daily Habits for a Clutter-Free Home.

1. Handle physical mail immediately. Too often, mail is only relocated from the mailbox to our countertop—where it often sits or begins to collect. But the fact is, most mail can be processed in very little time if we make it a habit. Immediately discard junk mail (or use Paper Karma to eliminate it completely) and process the rest. Mail that requires processing but can’t be handled right away can easily be placed in a manilla To-Do Folder out of sight.

2. Clean dishes after meals. I used to hate washing dishes—especially right after preparing and eating a meal. But things changed when I read this story. Now, I view cleaning dishes as just the last step of the family dinner. Washing dishes (or filling the dishwasher) immediately takes less time (they wash easier when food has not dried). And the kitchen is clean all evening.

3. Make your bed each morning. Messes attract messes. One of the easiest places to see this is the bedroom. Your bed is the centerpiece of the room and when it is made, it sets environment and the culture. But when it is left undone, clutter begins to accumulate around it. The first, best step when cleaning a bedroom is to make the bed. And the first, best step for clutterfree living is to do it first thing in the morning (or find a spouse who does).

4. Store things off the kitchen counter. Messes attract messes and clutter attracts clutter. The better we get at storing clutter out of sight, the less likely it is to accumulate. The kitchen counter is a good example. When countertops become an acceptable place to store things, more things begin to collect there. But a clean countertop communicates calm and order, promotes opportunity for its intended use, and is probably easier than you think.

5. Return items nightly. When we minimized our possessions, we found tidying up to be easier. Every item has a purpose and every item has a home. At the end of the day, items are returned. This is a daily habit I have worked hard to incorporate in my life and my kids’ lives. One reason is because it allows every morning to begin fresh, new, and clutterfree.

6. Complete 1-2 minute jobs immediately. Clutter is often a result of procrastination—decisions put off or small jobs left unfinished. Counteract this procrastination in your home with a simple rule: If a job can be completed in less than 2 minutes, do it now. Take the garbage out, scrub the pot, return the remote control, or place your dirty clothes in the hamper. Every time you see a task all the way to completion, a source of clutter is avoided.

7. Minimize overfilled spaces right away. Clutter often reveals itself as too many things in too small a place: too many clothes in a drawer, too many linens in a closet, too many toiletries in a bathroom cabinet, or too many items on a shelf. When this occurs, as it often does, minimize the overfilled space right away by removing everything no longer needed. Don’t put it off. It will take longer than 2 minutes, but usually no more than 15. Staying ahead of clutter is the best way to defeat it altogether.

Each of these daily habits are routine in our home and help to keep it clutterfree all week long. Certainly, owning less helps make them possible.

Want a cleaner home? Own less stuff. It works every time. (tweet that)

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

There’s more to life than buying stuff.

There are many wonderful people pursuing and promoting simplicity. Fortunately, some of them are gifted in communication and choose to encourage and inspire us with their words. I enjoy reading their unique perspective. I’m sure you will too.

So fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea on this beautiful weekend. Find a quiet moment. And enjoy some encouraging words about finding more simplicity in your life today.

7 Eye-Opening Lessons I Learned From Buying Nothing New For 200 Days | CE by Assya Barrette. “My 200 days was not only an optional experience in sustainable living and minimalism. It was a necessary and transformative journey.”

Life’s Pursuit | Zen Pencils by Gavin Aung Than. Have you taken control over your life into your own hands?

How One German Millennial Chose to Live on Trains Rather than Pay Rent | Washington Post by Rick Noack. “I want to inspire people to question their habits and the things they consider to be normal.”

Overrated vs. Underrated: Common Beliefs We Get Wrong | James Clear by James Clear. As a society, we often overvalue unimportant things and undervalue the ideas and strategies that make a real difference.

Someday | The Minimalists by Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus. Just because something is urgent doesn’t mean it’s worthwhile.

Influence. You Already Have It.

“You don’t have to be a ‘person of influence’ to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they’ve taught me.” —Scott Adams

Our lives matter. This is indeed life-giving news to each of us.

We all want to live lives of significance—lives that make a difference in the world around us. We were designed to live for something greater than ourselves. And each of us were born with an ingrained desire to accomplish that.

As a result, our world cares deeply about influence. We pay for it, fight for it, and study how to get more of it. Our world measures it, ranks it, and ascribes it to people for foolish reasons. But in our constant struggle to attain influence, we often miss out on one very important truth:

We already have it! Each of us is already an influencer of others.

To live is to influence. Whenever and wherever our lives interact with others (at home, at work, on-line, or in our community), we have influence. We change lives. We affect people every single day with the words we say, the looks on our face, the actions we choose, and the decisions we make.

It would be wise for us to stop always asking how to acquire more and instead, start asking what to do with the influence we already have.

The interactions we have in this world offer both a great and challenging opportunity. They can be positive or negative. They can add value to the lives of others or they can take value away. Our opportunity for influence can become an important agent for change or it can further cement the status quo. It can make our world a better place to be or a crummier place to endure. There are no neutral contributors in this world.

Every day, whether we interact with 5 people, 50 people, or 500, our lives matter and produce a ripple effect that extends far beyond us. Let’s model integrity, celebrate growth, encourage strength, and push for positive change.

If we’re not doing well with the influence we already have, why do we think the world would benefit if we had more? (tweet that)

An Ambitious Year. And What to Expect Next at Becoming Minimalist.

On December 31, I met my friend Jeff Slobotski for coffee at Scooter’s in Omaha, NE. It was a cold morning, but the coffee was warm.

When I ordered, the barista initiated our conversation, “So,” she asked, “Are you ready for the new year?” The question should not have been unexpected—it was New Year’s Eve after all.

And yet, for some reason, I felt ill-equipped to answer. “I don’t know,” I replied, “I guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

As I sat down across the table from Jeff, we began to catch up. If I’m lucky, I see him twice/year. If I’m not, it’s only once. There’s always much to share between us—what has happened since we last talked and what projects we are working on for the future.

It was in that moment, as I was still thinking through the simple question asked at the counter, I first made this observation, “This is, by far, the most ambitious list of goals I have ever had entering a new year.”

Those who know me well, both online and off, know I have been very focused these past 7 months. But until now, I have said very little on this platform. Mostly because this website is not about me primarily, it is about us as a community and everyone else who believes their life is too valuable to waste chasing material possessions.

Also, I must admit, I have shared very little publicly because there are some things that need to be in place before an announcement can be made. But maybe now, halfway through August, is the right time.

Here is what I have been working on this past year and what to expect next at Becoming Minimalist. Each update contains some personal information, but also facets that involve all of us. Because, quite frankly, I don’t think any of this succeeds without you.

A Full-Length Book. Last year, I signed a two-book contract with WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of Random House. The first book is going through final edits and will be released in May, 2016. My goal for this book is to “introduce minimalism to the masses” on a larger scale than ever before. In fact, my hope is to put the book on the New York Times bestseller list.

The book argues for owning less, offers practical thoughts on implementing it in your home, and calls the reader to dream big dreams for their life. This book has been a significant undertaking, but I could not be more pleased with it. It shares more about my personal journey into minimalism (the good and the bad) than I have ever shared before and I look forward to telling you more about it in the coming months. I think you are going to find value in it.

A Non-Profit Organization. Our publisher was very generous with their offer—more generous than my modest family needs. I outlined exactly one year ago how Becoming Minimalist supports us, and very few things have changed since writing that post. As a result of our financial needs already being met, my wife and I decided to use the book proceeds to launch a nonprofit organization.

Because the plight of the orphan has always been near to our hearts, we will be launching a new organization this Fall to re-think and re-invent orphan care around the world. The details will be announced right here on November 1. It is a significant undertaking. But I am excited to see firsthand what a community of people who have decided not to buy worthless possessions can accomplish with their money and lives.

Speaking. I am thrilled to see the interest for minimalist living continue to grow. Over the past year, I have spoken to physicians, financial agents, law firms, and highway patrol departments. I have traveled to Stockholm, Boston, Las Vegas, and neighboring communities here in Phoenix. I have spoken at conferences for Senior Move Managers, Sustainable Living Advocates, Simple-Living Enthusiasts, Aspiring Writers, and Young Mothers (just to name a few).

Currently, I receive more requests than I can fulfill. I feel bad turning down opportunities to share this message, but appearing at all of them is no longer possible. However, I work hard to accept as many requests as possible. If the message of owning less would benefit your event or organization, you can request me as a speaker here. Also, you can find my upcoming appearance schedule on the same page. For example, in the next few months, I will be speaking at conferences in Nashville, Minneapolis, and Chicago. If you’re close, join us.

A Do-It-Yourself Program. I am working diligently to create a short, 3-month at-home course to help people make minimalism more of a reality in their lives. Minimalism means different things to different people. But one constant that unites us is the fact that intentionally owning less is a countercultural lifestyle—and people are looking for inspiration, encouragement, and help because of it. This program will provide all of them.

The program will be completed and launched in conjunction with the book as a means to help people move beyond words on a page. But, in order to do it right, I will be offering a pilot course this January before the book releases. You can expect an announcement with details in the month of December.

Social Media Changes. Our social media accounts continue to grow. Our Facebook group is nearing 300,000 people and Twitter followers now exceed 30,000. Over the coming months, I am committed to expanding my reach in two places:

Pinterest. Some of the material on Becoming Minimalist does very well on Pinterest and I recognize it as a valuable platform to reach others. I will continue to be more intentional about using it.
Joshua Becker Facebook page. Because the Becoming Minimalist Facebook page is devoted entirely to the idea of owning less, I post very few personal updates on it. However, as my pursuits evolve, some of you are interested in receiving more general updates (nonprofit news, speaking engagements, special announcements, personal meet-ups, etc). If that is you, you can now follow Joshua Becker, Author on Facebook. This will allow me to keep the two accounts distinct.

Email Changes. Roughly 50,000 people receive Becoming Minimalist posts via email. To date, these emails have been automatically generated by Google Feedburner, a service that is free but offers limited control over appearance—I am reminded regularly by those who receive the emails.

Over the past 6 months, I have been testing a new email delivery system that provides greater flexibility in display, appearance, and control. As a result, the emails are far more consistent with the look and feel of the actual Becoming Minimalist webpage. Over the coming months, I will be transitioning everybody over to the new system. If you are already receiving these emails, you won’t need to do anything on your end. You’re going to love it.

If you do not receive Becoming Minimalist posts via email, you can sign up here:

As I mentioned, it’s been a focused year and there are exciting days ahead. I look forward to seeing what the future has in store for all of us.

I’ll be hanging around the comment section today answering any questions you might have.