Joshua Becker's Blog, page 102

The Stories of Generosity We Ought To Champion

Recently, Mark Zuckerberg publicly announced his decision to give away 99% of his Facebook shares to charity. His decision aligns him with several other significantly wealthy individuals who have decided to do the same: Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Richard Branson, Michael Bloomberg, Ted Turner, and others.

And their decision aligns them with countless wealthy individuals who have done similar things in the past. “A man who dies rich, dies disgraced,” Andrew Carnegie once said while giving away 90% of his personal fortune (almost $14b in today’s dollars).

I think these stories are important and I am glad they make national headlines. Some will try to discredit them or argue ulterior motives, but I don’t care. The more examples of generosity around us the better.

I will admit, however, there is one problem with these headline stories.

They are almost completely unrelatable.

When most people read about billionaires giving away money, their first reaction is typically, “Well that’s easy for them to say… if I had that kind of money, I would be generous too.”

And to an extent, they are right. When you begin talking about net worth in the billions of dollars, things seem to function a bit differently. For example, it was Neil deGrasse Tyson who first conjectured that, comparatively speaking, Bill Gates would have to stumble across $45,000 on the ground to discover the same amount in relation to his net worth that you or I would discover if we found a quarter ($0.25).

Of course, mathematics and emotions can be very different. Just because somebody has a vast amount of wealth, generosity does not necessarily come easy. In fact, some studies would seem to indicate that the more money we own, the more difficult it is to give away.

But nevertheless, “That’s easy for him to say,” is still the most common reaction to news stories similar to the one of Mark Zuckerberg. As a result, even though those stories are shared widely, they often leave us unchanged. How many people do you know went out and made a donation to charity after reading Mark Zuckerberg was giving away 99% of his wealth? Probably the same number as me: zero.

In other words, Mark’s story actually does very little to inspire generosity among a society.

But I think this might change if we start championing different stories.

For the past several years, I have been traveling this country speaking on the benefits of owning less. And I have met some amazing people along the way. Recently, I am being asked more and more often to speak about our new nonprofit organization, The Hope Effect. And whenever I do, something amazing happens… people begin sharing with me their personal stories of generous living.

People are quick to open up about the charities they passionately support. They share with me the experiences they have had volunteering at various organizations here and abroad. Many will come up to me afterwards and explain how and why they chose nonprofit work as their career. It is encouraging, it is amazing, and it is inspiring.

In fact, during an interview a few weeks back, I was asked, “What has been the greatest lesson you have learned starting a nonprofit?” Among the dozens of ideas that came to my mind, I answered with this one, “By far, the greatest thing I have learned over the past year is that there are generous, giving people everywhere you look. I have met so many people who are passionately committed to the care of orphans and other important causes, I almost can’t believe it. Everywhere I go, I meet people making sacrifices so they can live passionately generous lives.”

Unfortunately, nobody is talking about them—at least, they aren’t making national headlines. And I know why: their stories don’t convert to metrics like Mark Zuckerberg’s story.

A column about the adoptive mother in Minneapolis who dedicates two evenings/month serving on a nonprofit board placing orphans in loving homes doesn’t sell many newspapers. The full-time blogger in Nashville who fathers a family of three and makes a $5,000 donation to a cause he believes in doesn’t trend on Twitter. The middle-class family who gives away 10% of their income every week to an organization they trust doesn’t drive much Internet traffic.

But these are the stories that need to be told. Because these are the stories we can see ourselves in. These are the people with whom we can relate. And these are the people that can inspire us the most.

They have sacrificed in order to have time and money to give. And their stories challenge us to do the same. Unfortunately, the stories we need to hear are often the hardest to find.

I think we should try to change that.

During this season of giving, I think it is appropriate for us to recognize the people in our lives that have inspired generosity in us.

When you think of a generous person, who comes to your mind first? In the comment section below, would you draw attention to that certain somebody?

Comment and mention specifically the one person (or the one family) who has inspired you the most to greater generosity? My guess is, when you do, very few will mention celebrities or philanthropists. Instead, we will think of family members, neighbors, co-workers, or members of our faith community.

When you add your comment below, their stories will live on and their example will inspire even more individuals.

Practically speaking, I encourage you to be as specific as possible. Who has inspired you to generosity? Why? To what causes were they generous? What sacrifices did you see them make so they could give more? And in what ways did you see them dedicate themselves to others?

Their story may never be published in a major magazine. But today, you can champion it for us—because these are the stories we need to hear.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

There’s more to life than buying stuff.

There are many wonderful people pursuing and promoting simplicity. Fortunately, some of them are gifted in communication and choose to encourage and inspire us with their words. I enjoy reading their unique perspective. I’m sure you will too.

So fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea on this beautiful weekend. Find a quiet moment. And enjoy some encouraging words about finding more simplicity in your life today.

What I Learned Selling (almost) All of My Belongings to Start Over | The Hustle by Marshall Haas. Your home is like a giant inbox that’s been filled with too many material possessions over the years. It’s time to ruthlessly archive and delete.

Even My Furby Knows It: Our Love Affair with Shopping is Over | The Guardian by Zoe Williams. Black Friday was a nonevent, and even children are bored with Christmas tat. Consumerism has finally eaten itself

How We Help Curb the ‘I Want That!’s During the Holidays | The Art of Simple by Tsh Oxenreider. Dreaming isn’t the problem, especially when you’re already grateful for your stash of toys.

Between Decluttering and Minimalism | Simple Family Home by Meryl. As well as being better at knowing what to get rid of, I have discovered that I am better at knowing what I like.

Be Grateful.

3 Steps to a More Peaceful Home in the New Year

Note: This is a guest post from Melissa of Melissa Camara Wilkins.

While watching our kids play, a friend and I noticed how very quickly the little ones took out every toy they could reach. I think the room went from “clean and clear” to “buried up to our ankles in legos, doll clothes, blocks, and trains” in about forty-five seconds.

“And pretty soon there will be even more stuff,” she said. “Just think what this room will look like after the holidays!”

I kind of don’t want to.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Kids will always be kids, and toys will always need tidying up—but not every toy needs space on our shelves. We could probably do some editing, and this is a great time to do it.

As the year comes to an end, we all tend to look back at what worked and what didn’t, and on how we grew and changed over the year. We think about where we’ve been, where we’re going, who we are, and who we want to be.

While we’re doing that, why not reimagine what our homes can be, too? I want my home to be welcoming. I want it to be a place where my family feels comfortable, a place where it’s easy for us to enjoy time together, and a place that helps us each do our own work.

What do you want your home to be? Make plans now to start the new year in a space that feels more peaceful and more purposeful.

1. Reflect on the past year.

As you’re thinking over the year that’s coming to a close, think about how your stuff has served you—or not. Think about whether you own things that have fallen out of use.

Are there things in your house that never got used this last year? Do you have a stockpile of stuff for old hobbies? Are there books on the shelves that haven’t been cracked open even once in the last twelve months?

More importantly: how has your life changed over the last year? How have your priorities shifted? What could be removed to let you focus on what matters most to you, where you are now?

2. Ask better questions.

I used to look around at our stuff and ask questions like, Does this work? Do we like it? Is it any good?

Those were fine questions, but just because a thing is good (or good enough) doesn’t mean I have to own it.

To really figure out what we needed and didn’t, I had to start asking better questions—questions like, Could we live without this? Would we be just as happy without it? If we didn’t have it, could we use something else for the same purpose? Could we borrow one if we needed to?

I realized there were plenty of things in our home that we didn’t dislike, but that we didn’t need or love, either. There was nothing wrong with those things, no particular reason to pass them on—except that someone else could use them better than we would, and we didn’t want to invest any more energy in storing and maintaining them. We found more joy in letting go of those things than we did in having them available “just in case.”

3. Imagine the possibilities.

Look ahead to the new year. Let yourself wonder, what would life be like without this stuff? What if cleaning up wasn’t such a chore? What could I tackle if my workspace were clear? What could my family do together if we didn’t have to spend as much time cleaning and organizing?

How can you rethink your space to help your family do more of what matters to you? How could you make it easier to host family game night, or to read aloud before bed, or to invite friends for dinner? What gets in the way? What can change?

A little reflection and planning now lets you make better choices about which holiday gifts you might purchase to be used in the year to come—and which you might pass on. And paring back ahead of time lets you make space for all the possibility the new year offers.

There’s no rule for which things stay and which things go, or for how many things you can have in your home. There is no right number of toys to keep on the shelves. (And no matter how many there are, they’ll probably all end up on the floor at some point. That’s okay.) You’ll decide what’s best for your family.

Reflecting back and imagining the year ahead just gives us a chance to find a fresh perspective. When you think about which things you need and which get in the way of what’s most important to you, you might just find there really is more joy in having less.

***

Melissa Camara Wilkins writes a beautiful blog for unconventional souls who want to live differently, think differently, and see the world a little differently. You can also follow her on Twitter.

Hope Effect Update and a Birthday Wish

Six weeks ago, on November 1, we announced the creation of a new nonprofit organization called The Hope Effect.

The Hope Effect exists to change orphan care around the world by focusing on new solutions that better mimic the family unit. Rather than building large instutional orphanages with high child-to-adult ratios, we are solving the problem by building smaller homes—each providing a family environment for 6-8 orphans and 2 parents.

Since that announcement, I have had thousands of conversations about the topic of orphan care. The conversations have ranged in focus from people who are just being introduced to the crisis around the world, to people who have specific questions about our plan, to people asking how to get involved in support or volunteering.

The conversations have been amazing. So has the financial support.

And an update on the progress is long overdue. So here are the details:

Financial Update:

In less that 50 days, The Hope Effect has raised over $50,000.

But the news gets even more encouraging:

Over 700 people have contributed, ranging in donation amounts from $1 to $5,000.
130 people have organized peer-to-peer fundraising campaigns.
Over 200 people have joined our $10 Team providing $3,500 in monthly recurring donations.

Progress Update:

Because of your generous support, we have already announced a ground-breaking date for our first home on the campus of La Providencia in Siguatepeque, Honduras.

That’s right—just two months after announcing our initiative, we are already building a home! And assuming no major setbacks in construction, the house should be fully complete by early-summer.

I am thankful for all the help and expertise La Providencia has provided through this phase—the home is being built on their campus and will be operated under their local leadership.

A Birthday Wish:

One reason I wanted to provide a Hope Effect update today is because today, December 11, is my birthday. I turn 41 years old. And I have decided to donate my birthday this year to The Hope Effect.

I already have everything I need. Since becoming minimalist years ago, my definition of need has changed dramatically. In fact, I rarely use the word… and cringe just a little bit when I hear others say it. Looking around my home this morning, I am reminded again that any use of that word in relation to my life is complete foolishness. With food in my kitchen, clean water in my cup, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and a family who supports me, I am not in need. There is truly nothing that I need for my birthday.

But many of the estimated 150 million orphans around the world do have needs. Not only do they need food and shelter and clothing, they need attention and affection and love. They need support from a family. They need to feel cared for and safe and wanted. The Hope Effect is providing that. And I want my birthday to stand for something important.

So I am donating it to orphans around the world.

We either leave this world better, unchanged, or worse off than when we arrived. And my hope is to leave it better for someone who truly needs it.

How You Can Help:

To help me celebrate my birthday, you can donate to my personal Hope Effect page. You can donate $4, $41, $410, or any dollar amount you desire.

I have selected $5,000 as a fundraising goal. Including the money we have already raised, $5,000 will be enough to cover the most significant building costs of our first home. The goal is high, but the need is great.

The opportunity to make a difference is very real and the Becoming Minimalist community is among the most generous on the Internet today. Donate small or donate big. Just please don’t leave this opportunity unchanged.

Maybe the greatest gift you can give somebody is a loving family. Someone you may never meet is waiting to thank you for it.

Donate

7 Ways to Avoid Overspending this Holiday Season

According to a recent Gallup poll, Americans plan to spend an average of $830 on gifts this season.

As the largest gift-giving holiday, the final months of the year account for nearly 20 percent of total annual retail sales for retailers—making it the costliest season of the year for shoppers. This is not surprising.

What is surprising is how much more money we spend during this season than any other. For context, shoppers spent $600 billion during the Christmas season last year. The next highest seasonal total was the “Back to School” shopping season at $72 billion. In other words, on average, Americans spend 9X the amount of money retail shopping during the Christmas season than any other season of the year.

Unfortunately, however, when the calendar turns to January, the negative effects of this spending begin to set in: higher than expected credit card statements, tighter finances than imagined, increased stress, and regret over the amount of money spent.

How can we avoid this January stress and regret? What steps can we take to avoid overspending during the holiday season?

Here are 7 ideas:

1. Set a Budget. 

Before the holiday shopping season even begins, decide how much money you want to spend. Think through all the different aspects of holiday shopping: gifts, travel, food, decorations. Divide your budget into the different categories: how much do you desire to spend on gifts? how much will travel cost? how many special events are on your calendar and how much will they cost? If the numbers aren’t lining up, what changes and/or sacrifices do you need to make?

2. Be Aware of Retail Tricks.

If merely creating a budget was the only thing needed to keep us within our spending limits, we’d be all set—not just for the holidays, but for life. Unfortunately, this is rarely the case. Even with budgets firmly established, many of us overspend. One reason this happens is because retail stores are shockingly good at getting us to part with our money.

Loyalty cards, retail credit, decoy pricing, loss leader (think Black Friday), incentives to return to the store, constant sales—all of these represent tricks that retail outlets employ to get us to part with our money. Be on the look-out for them—especially during the holiday season.

3. Limit self-gifting.

One of the most significant holiday trends over recent years is the increase in “self-gifting”—people treating themselves to presents when they are out shopping for others. Nearly 60% of people are now self-gifting according to the National Retail Federation. We will spend, on average, $130 per person buying gifts for ourselves. To avoid overspending this holiday season, limit yourself in this regard.

PS: Be careful when purchasing gift cards, 72% of shoppers also do some shopping for themselves when going to a store or website to purchase a gift card.

4. Cut down on convenience costs.

Some of the most hidden costs of the holiday season are “convenience” expenses. The holiday season throws us out of our usual family rhythms by adding extra responsibilities and activities. As a result, the price we are willing to pay for convenience begins to rise—sometimes, it is just easier to order fast food when running late for an appointment or getting a pizza for the kids if we need to attend the office holiday party.

In addition, all of the time spent shopping often leads to other unnecessary purchases: expensive coffee drinks, pretzels, smoothies, just to name a few. These expenses appear minor. But over the course of a month, because of the “Latte Factor,” they add up quickly.

5. Establish expectations early.

If you decide to cut down on the number of Christmas gifts you will be giving this holiday season, it is important to establish those expectations early. For example, for our kids at Christmas, they receive three gifts from us: one thing they want, one thing they need, and one experience to share with the family. But it wasn’t always this way. When they were younger, before we decided to pursue minimalism, we used to buy them a lot more gifts at Christmas. Therefore, when we decided to make the changes to our gift-giving habits, we took some time to inform them about it.

Similarly, if you intend to take a new gift-giving approach to your extended family, it is helpful to inform them early about your decision and why you decided to make it.

6. Look for shortcuts to make travel cheaper.

For some families, one of the largest expenses of the holiday season is travel—this is certainly true for our family of four as we travel back to the Midwest each Christmas. Being together as a family to celebrate the season is important to us, and it is important to many others as well. And while there are always going to be expenses incurred while traveling, we can still look for ways to limit them: shop around airlines and travel dates, avoid baggage fees by packing light, pack meals for on-the-go, and do your research on hotel costs, just to name a few.

7. Track spending.

One key component to wise financial stewardship is to track your spending on a daily basis. This is true for life, but it is absolutely essential to avoid overspending during the holiday season. If you have set your budget thoughtfully (Tip #1), it is important to pursue due diligence in staying inside it.

Because of the extra shopping during the season, the importance of tracking your spending during the month of December cannot be overstated. And you do not need fancy software or materials to accomplish this step. It can be completed with a simple piece of paper and pen—at the end of each day, just record the items you spent money on that day. And compare it regularly with the budget you created.

Avoiding overspending during the holiday season may not be easy. It certainly requires extra time and effort. But trust me, your January-You will thank you for it.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of everything that distracts us from it. It requires a conscious decision because it is a countercultural lifestyle that stands against the culture of overconsumption that surrounds us.

The world we live in is not friendly to the pursuit of minimalism. Its tendencies and relentless advertising campaigns call us to acquire more, better, faster, and newer. The journey of finding simplicity requires consistent inspiration.

For that reason, I hope you will make an effort this weekend to find a quiet moment with a cup of coffee or tea and enjoy some of these hand-picked articles to encourage more simplicity in your life.

46 Ways to Give Experiences Instead of Stuff This Year | Wellness Mama by Katie Spears. We have and consume twice as many material goods than we collectively did 50 years ago, but statistically we are much less happy.

Addicted to Distraction | The New York Times by Tony Schwartz. No obstacle to recovery is greater than the infinite capacity to rationalize our compulsive behaviors.

Why I’m buying nothing for a year—no clothes, no holidays, no coffee | The Guardian by Michelle McGagh. I’m hoping the next year will teach me a thing or two about just how little I need to live on, help me save more and open my eyes to the wonderful free events that happen right under my nose.

Simplifying in Thanksgiving | Creative Holistic Home by Lisa Avellan. My gratitude is for the possessions of my soul, my heart.

Story Hopper: Too Much Stuff | YouTube by Dave Hakkens. Something I should have done a long time ago, getting rid of the useless stuff in my life. Which is actually quite a lot. (3:36)

Health and Fitness, the Minimalist Way

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Nia Shanks of Lift Like a Girl.

Minimalism provides myriad benefits. Less stress. More time. A greater appreciation for the people and events that truly matter in your life.

These same benefits can be experienced when harnessing a minimalist approach to health and fitness.

Today’s society has developed an unhealthy obsession with health and fitness. It’s a billion dollar per year industry and people spend tremendous amounts of money and time on fad diets, gym memberships, and dangerous supplements because media and marketers attempt to persuade us to believe these items are mandatory. We’re told we can’t figure out how to improve our health on our own and that getting healthy is a complicated process.

But it’s not. You can improve your health and quality of life, the minimalist way.

As we approach the new year you’ll undoubtedly be bombarded with messages about cleanses, quick fixes, and gimmicks. Avoid them at all costs and choose instead to embrace the minimalist method for better health.

The Minimalist Guide to Health and Fitness

Follow these bare essentials to improve your health while saving precious time, and even money.

Move your body in a way you enjoy. Traditional “exercise” is not mandatory. Sure, you can join a gym if you’d like but it’s not necessary. You can perform bodyweight workouts at home or use free weights if you’d like to engage in resistance training.

Take advantage of local parks and go hiking, ride a bike, or anything else available in your area. Trying a new hobby is a terrific way to discover new passions and appreciate your body for the wonderful things it can do. You can also perform these activities with the family so everyone can improve their health and spend quality time with each other.

What you do isn’t near as important as doing something consistently. Aim to move your body on a near daily basis for at least 20-30 minutes. Remember the possibilities are endless ranging from bodyweight workouts at home to exploring local parks.

Search your local area and see what you can find to explore.

Eat well, simply. Nutrition can seem complicated as a result of fad diets that come and go every few months, but it needn’t be. Research has proven what matters most: make sure your diet consists mostly of real, minimally processed foods. Eat a variety of fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds, beans and legumes, dairy, eggs, fish and seafood, and meat and poultry. (You can omit the animal products if you’re vegan or vegetarian).

A few other key guidelines are beneficial: make eating fruits and vegetables a high priority, stop eating once you’re satisfied but not stuffed, enjoy your favorite not-super-healthy foods on occasion. This way you can still enjoy events like birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and other occasions that include your favorite foods without unnecessary guilt.

Focus on the lifestyle, not the goals. One of my favorite sayings is the journey is the destination. Even if you have excess weight to lose don’t focus exclusively on that goal. Instead concentrate on the daily journey. Enjoying delicious, satisfying meals with your family and moving your body in an enjoyable way. Do those things consistently and the additional benefits, such as weight loss, will be a tremendous side effect.

Strive to make eating well and moving your body in an enjoyable way part of your daily life. Enjoy the journey and additional results will follow.

Do these things for the right reasons. Most images and messages for health and fitness revolve around aesthetics: all for the sake of improving how you look. But don’t get caught up in that propaganda. Eat well and move your body to discover the amazing things it can do. Getting and staying strong and agile will help ensure you avoid injury, age gracefully, and allow you to continue doing the activities you enjoy, as well as trying new ones.

Losing excess weight can certainly be a benefit to improving your health and fitness habits, but don’t lose sight of the other, perhaps better, benefits you can reap from moving and eating well daily.

Focus on applying those few tips consistently—move your body frequently in ways enjoyable to you, eat well in a simple way, enjoy the journey, and do these things for the right reasons—and you’ll improve your health, fitness, and quality of life, the minimalist way.

***

Nia Shanks blogs at Life Like a Girl where she helps others become the most awesome and strongest version of themselves—no overblown promises or any of that mess, just information you can use to build the body you want. You may also enjoy her health and fitness podcast.

Give Your Christmas to Someone Who Needs It

The statistics are really quite unbelievable.

The average American home has nearly tripled in size over the last 50 years—yet, over 50% of us with two-car garages have room for only one vehicle inside.

Our homes contain more televisions than people. We spend more on shoes, jewelry, and watches ($100 billion) than on higher education. And the average American woman owns 30 outfits, one for every day of the month—in 1930, that figure was nine. Home organization, the service that’s trying to find places for all our clutter, is now an $8 billion industry, growing at a rate of 10 percent each year.

Our living spaces have become filled with possessions of every kind: our countertops are crowded, our closets are stuffed, our bedrooms are filled, and our drawers are overflowing.

And yet, this Black Friday weekend, we will accumulate more.

It is estimated 140 million Americans will go shopping this weekend.

We will spend $50 billion over the next three days. And over the course of the entire holiday season, we will spend $600 billion adding more and more things to our already crowded homes.

Let’s start here: Before buying a whole bunch of stuff for your loved ones this holiday season, maybe you should ask if they even want a whole bunch of stuff. You might be surprised by their response.

But I’d like to challenge your thinking even more and offer you one idea this Christmas season that might be a win-win situation for everyone—while helping you avoid unnecessary gift-clutter in your home.

This money we are spending actually holds within it enormous potential. Consider this: Nearly half the world’s population, 2.8 billion people, survive on less than $2 a day. To put that into perspective, Americans will spend, on average, roughly $400 per person this weekend… in just three days, we will spend more than half the annual income of 2.8 billion individuals.

Which is fine, I think, if we were buying things that actually improved our lives. But, in reality, most of the stuff we buy these days doesn’t.

Meanwhile, the real needs around us are plentiful.

Earlier this year, along with the help of some amazing people, my wife and I founded a nonprofit organization to help bring awareness and better solutions to the orphan crisis around the world.

Worldwide, over 26 million children live without parents—but the problem does not end there.

Decades of research have indicated that traditional, institutional-style orphanages are not solving the problem adequately. In fact, in too many places, they are only continuing the crisis. When children do not receive adequate personal interaction within a loving environment, development is stunted and learning abilities are delayed or lost. Many kids age out of orphanages only to face a future of crime, prostitution, or trafficking.

The Hope Effect is seeking to change orphan care around the world by focusing on solutions that better mimic the family-unit.

And we want you to be part of the solution!

One of the ways we are inviting people to get involved in the orphan crisis is by challenging them to give their Christmas to someone who needs it.

We call it “Homes for the Holidays” and the idea is very simple: Instead of asking for gifts this holiday season, ask for donations that make a difference. Rather than adding to the clutter in your home this holiday season, ask your friends and family to help provide homes for orphans.

It is easy to do. Within just a few minutes, you can create your very own personalized fundraising page and easily share it with your friends and family through e-mail, Facebook, or Twitter.

The opportunity represents a win-win-win situation. You benefit from less holiday gift clutter to store and organize in January. Your friends and family benefit from less-stressful holiday preparations. And, most importantly, orphans around the world will benefit by being raised in a loving family environment.

Our holiday season can be used to solve very real problems around the world.

Already, over 100 hundred people have created fundraising pages. I have created mine and you can create yours today (you know, to catch your family before they buy you a bunch of stuff you don’t need).

With 100% of your friends’ and family’s donations being used directly for orphan care, everyone will feel good about the contribution being made.

Our goal is to have 300 people by the end of week gift their holiday season to someone who needs it. Doesn’t that sound so much more rewarding than receiving unneeded gifts this year?

If so, join me and sign up here today: Help provide Homes for the Holidays.

#ReclaimThanksgiving

Only in America do we wait in line and trample each other for sale items one day after giving thanks for what we already have.

It started out simple enough. In fact, it makes a lot of sense when you take it at face value.

Since 1940, the Thanksgiving holiday has been celebrated in the US on the fourth Thursday of November. Of course, the holiday pre-dates our current calendar designation by hundreds of years. The first nationwide celebration of Thanksgiving was established by our first president, George Washington when he proclaimed Thanksgiving to be, “a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favours of Almighty God.”

After the Thanksgiving holiday, we begin looking forward to the next: Christmas. Given the fact that exchanging gifts on Christmas dates back to the 4th Century, it makes perfect sense that the holiday shopping season would begin at this point. Indeed, it always has. Even the Macy’s Day Parade, which began in the 1920’s, was originally made up of store employees marching to Macy’s flagship store on 34th Street dressed in vibrant costumes.

For a very long time, the Friday after Thanksgiving has marked the beginning of the Christmas season—and rightfully so I might add.

Sometime in the 1980’s, we began referring to this day as Black Friday. The most common rumor surrounding the name is that the day after Thanksgiving is the first day of the year that retail stores make an actual profit and their Accounting books turn from “red” to “black.” This, of course, could not be further from the truth, and has been confirmed as myth from almost every reputable historical source.

The true history is that the term “Black Friday” was originally used as a negative designation of the Friday after Thanksgiving, when, in Philadelphia, unruly fans would descend upon the city, its merchants, and its police force for the annual Army-Navy football game.

Sometime in the late 1980’s, however, the term Black Friday was usurped by retail stores nationwide and turned into something that reflected positively, rather than negatively, on them and their customers.

Again, this makes perfect sense. Retail stores are more than welcome to celebrate the beginning of the holiday shopping season with discounted prices on their items. If I owned a retail outlet, I would probably do the same.

However, at some point during my lifetime, things began to change. Black Friday became more than a day to celebrate the beginning of the holiday shopping season. Black Friday became an event in and of itself.

At first, it was a plethora of advertisements that would arrive on our doorstep Thanksgiving morning. It wasn’t all that long ago I can remember rushing to get the paper so I could begin thumbing through the sales for the following day. Little did I realize at the time how those ads were affecting me—a day originally set aside for giving thanks was quickly becoming a day focused on all the things I didn’t have.

Somewhere around that time, stores began going to extraordinary lengths to attract shoppers. A simple discount on their goods was no longer sufficient. To prepare for the day, national retail chains would begin planning months in advance to secure the hottest consumer products and offer a limited amount to the first customers at a net loss. They may lose a little money on the item, but the offer would lure customers into their store on that important day. Camping out in front of stores and trampling other shoppers suddenly became a thing.

Stores began opening at 6am on the day after Thanksgiving. And for most of my lifetime, this was the story of Black Friday.

But things began to change in the late 2000’s. At first, stores began competing for shoppers by opening earlier and earlier on Black Friday. Looking back, it appears almost inevitable. Doors opened at 5:00am and then 4:00am. And once the ball got rolling, there was nothing in place to stop it.

This was taken to a new extreme in 2011, when several retailers opened at midnight for the first time.

In 2012, stores took the unprecedented step of opening on Thanksgiving Day (8:00pm).

By 2014, stores began opening their doors at 5:00pm on Thursday. This year, some stores will open at 3:00pm on Thanksgiving Day.

And just when you thought we had reached a new low in our society, Verizon renames the day before Thanksgiving: Thanksgetting—as a means to promote its holiday deals and lure shoppers.

With each encroachment, the Thanksgiving holiday gets squeezed a little bit more.

A day previously set aside for giving thanks has been hijacked by retailers hoping to earn a dollar. (tweet that)

But Thanksgiving is important. Giving thanks calls us to recognize and celebrate the good in our lives. And in a society that works so hard to distract us from our blessings, the importance of giving thanks cannot be overstated.

Gratitude matters. It breeds contentment, helps us overcome selfishness, and encourages generosity. Grateful people are happier, healthier, and experience greater life satisfaction. Gratitude reminds us that what we have is enough and we have been provided for already.

At some point, it seems, we need to make a statement. We need to rise up and reclaim Thanksgiving. We need to reclaim it in our hearts and we need to reclaim it in our society.

That time is now! And who better to lead that charge than us?

Will you commit with me to not allow retail outlets to encroach on your holiday and distract you from gratitude? Will you commit to focus on the blessings in your life and celebrate your provisions from the previous year? Will you be vigilant about not allowing consumerism to creep into your Thanksgiving celebration?

If so, tell us on Facebook and Twitter how you intend to overcome consumerism and reclaim Thanksgiving this Thursday. Tell us about your holiday traditions or plans. Or simply express your gratitude by sharing with the world what you are thankful for this year.

With each tweet or status update, include the hashtag: #ReclaimThanksgiving.

With each individual participant, we will remind more and more people of the importance of gratitude. And we will take a stand against the retailers who continue to trample on it.

#ReclaimThanksgiving on Twitter | #ReclaimThanksgiving on Facebook

But What Do You Want to be Thanked For?

Gratitude is important. Gratitude causes us to no longer desire a different life. Instead, it invites us to make the most of the one life we already have.

It calls us to recognize and celebrate the good. And in a society that works so hard to distract us from our blessings, the importance of gratitude cannot be overstated.

This is an important week as we set aside an entire day specifically for thanksgiving. May each of us make the most of it as we celebrate our blessings and thank those who have made it possible.

But this year, I have been challenged by a new question. What if, rather than just asking, “What do I have to be thankful for?” we also began asking, “What do I want to be thanked for?”

I first heard the question posed by a good friend of mine during a conversation we were having about important life decisions. He phrased it this way, “I just keep asking, ‘At the end of my life, what do I want to be thanked for?’” He then began listing some of the things he wishes his family would be able to say to him and about him.

I immediately found his question to be highly profound and uniquely clarifying. It is worth taking the time to arrive at an answer:

At the end of your life, what do you want to be thanked for?

The question calls us to make specific decisions about legacy and values—and it challenges our assumptions that our lives will unintentionally arrive at them. It causes us to align our practice with our principles. And that is what makes it so important.

Also, since our conversation weeks ago, I have discovered the question has almost limitless potential.

What if I changed the question just slightly? What if, rather than “At the end of my life, what do I want to be thanked for?” I asked myself, “At the end of this week, what do I want to be thanked for?” Or even more specific, “By the end of the day, what do I want my co-workers/spouse/children to thank me for?”

This question could influence my life on an almost hour-by-hour basis.

For example, I have a friend who is a local highway patrolman in the Phoenix area. He once told me that his goal with every traffic stop is to receive a thank-you from the driver of the vehicle by the end of the conversation. “Look,” he said, “nobody is ever happy about being pulled over. But I’ve found that most people, if you treat them with respect and kindness, will take notice. And you’d be surprised how many end our interaction by saying, ‘Thank you officer’. That’s always my goal.”

What if that became our desire as well? What if we entered every interaction with another human being asking ourselves, “At the end of this conversation, what do I want them to thank me for?”

Almost always, I think, we would arrive at the answers of:

I want to be thanked for being loving and attentive.
I want to be thanked for being encouraging and a positive influence in their day.
I want to be thanked for making a small difference in their life.

How might those motivations go on to affect the expression on our face, the words that we choose, or the attention that we give? It would be profound.

Again, there are countless opportunities to apply this thinking. I’d like to offer one more:

At the end of Thanksgiving day, what do you want your family to  thank you for?

Then, ask yourself: What atmosphere do I need to create for that happen? What conversation do I need to have? Or what good can I offer that somebody closest to me needs the most this Thanksgiving weekend? The question could prove to be impactful, regardless of your family dynamic.

This Thursday, express as much gratitude as possible. But take some time in the midst of your thanksgiving to ask yourself more than, “What do I have to be thankful for?” Ask yourself, also, “What do I want to be thanked for?”

And then, go make it a reality.