Joshua Becker's Blog, page 100

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Never underestimate the importance of removing stuff you don’t need.

Encouragement is important in all areas of life, but especially when trying to live a life different than those around us.

Encouragement provides us with motivation to persevere. It invites us to dream dreams of significance for our lives. And it begs us to work diligently with optimism and promise.

Overcoming the pull of consumerism is a difficult challenge regardless of our stage in life. Simplicity requires encouragement. To that end, I hope you will find motivation in these articles below.

Each post was intentionality chosen to inspire simplicity in your life. For maximum effect, find a quiet moment this weekend and enjoy them with a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

11 Ways Clutter Is Messing With Your Health & Relationships | Mind Body Green by Karen Kingston. Most people have no idea how much their clutter affects them. It is only when you start clearing it out that you realize how much better you feel without it.

Simplifying Childhood May Protect Against Mental Health Issues | Raised Good by Tracy Gillett. Too many choices erodes happiness, robbing kids of the gift of boredom which encourages creativity and self-directed learning. And most importantly “too much” steals precious time.

Americans Basically Agree that Shopping is “A Great Cure for Boredom” | QZ by Marc Bain. “Shopping has become a hugely popular leisure activity that often has nothing to do with need.”

The Secret to Spring Cleaning: Don’t Just Organize Your Stuff – Get Rid Of It | The Guardian by Madeleine Somerville. Our surroundings have an incredible impact on how we feel, and clutter can make us feel depressed—so spring cleaning doesn’t just look good, it feels good.

Think Outside The Subscription Box | Frugaling by Sam Lustgarten. Subscription services know that once they have someone on the trial, they’re more likely to continue using their product and/or try it again at a later date.

Pre-Order The More of Less Today

The hardcover edition is printed. The audio version is recorded. And the e-book files are in place.

In less than 6 weeks, my best book ever, The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own will be released and available in bookstores all around the country (and eventually the world). To say I am excited would be an understatement.

Between now and May 3rd, there is a lot of work to be done: blog posts to be written, interviews to be recorded, and people to be thanked.

But for today, I am announcing The More of Less is officially available for pre-order. Also, I have a special gift for anyone who pre-orders the book: free access to our 12-week Uncluttered Course (an $89 value).

I have a lot to tell you about the book and why I hope you’ll pre-order it today. However, some of you have been reading Becoming Minimalist for a long time and already know that you are going to buy the book. If that’s you, here are the links:

Hardcover: Amazon, B&N, Indie Bound, CBD, BAM, even Wal-Mart.

Digital: Kindle, Nook, iBooks, Kobo.

Audio: Amazon

 

For those of you who want to know more, there are three things I want to share with you about the book:

First, this is the best book I have ever written—and it’s not even close. Many of you have read Simplify and/or Clutterfree with Kids. And I am proud of both. Their Amazon ratings of 4.4+ stars (out of 5) indicate readers enjoy them too. But I’m telling you, The More of Less is 1,000% better than both of them. My editor, Eric Stanford, brought depth and maturity to my words I never could have discovered on my own. I am forever grateful for his hard work on this project.

Second, this is a book about owning less—but it’s more than that. I have practiced and studied and written about owning less faithfully for the last 8 years. This book contains almost everything I have learned about it. It is both inspirational and practical. But this book is about more than owning less. It is about passion and generosity and learning to pursue happiness in more fulfilling places than the acquisition of money or possessions. It’s not just about owning less stuff, it’s about living a bigger life.

Third, pre-ordering the book today is one of the best things you could ever do for me—and I don’t say that flippantly.

1. Your pre-order benefits me. Bookstores watch pre-order campaigns closely. Based on the number of pre-orders, management will make important decisions about how many books to order, which stores to place them in, and where to place them in the physical store. Your pre-order today will help bookstores around the country recognize the interest people have in this topic and this book specifically.

2. Your pre-order benefits minimalism. My goal, from the very beginning, was to write a New York Times bestseller. All purchases made before Saturday, May 7 will count towards that goal. Obviously, as an author, I would love the honor of making that list. But equally important, I would love to see a book about owning less on the New York Times bestseller list. Significant interest in minimalism could be generated from it.

3. Your pre-order benefits you—get free access to Uncluttered. Uncluttered is a 12-week online course with videos, interviews, webinars, articles, weekly challenges, accountability, and community strategically packaged for one purpose: to help you declutter your home, own less stuff, and find space to live the life you want. The course sells for $89, but anyone who pre-orders my new book can register for the Spring Edition for free. It is my gift to you—a special thanks for being one of the first to buy the book!

To redeem your gift, pre-order The More of Less (print or ebook) before May 2 through your favorite online retailer. Your purchase is your registration. Visit the Uncluttered Registration page with your receipt and use the number to complete the registration form.

If you need any more convincing, the hardcover edition is currently priced at only $10.58. That’s more than $7 off the cover price (and less expensive than the digital version).

Again, you can find the book everywhere online:

Hardcover: Amazon, B&N, Indie Bound, CBD, Powell’s, Wal-Mart.

Digital: Kindle, Nook, iBooks, Kobo.

Audio: Amazon

 

Whether you buy the book for yourself, a friend, or not at all, know that I am thankful for you. In fact, the dedication in The More of Less is devoted to the Becoming Minimalist community:

Dedicated to the entire Becoming Minimalist community. Your support and encouragement have served as an inspiration to me and made this book possible. May your lives continue to inspire others to live by owning less.

Thank you, thank you, for making all of this possible. May this book change countless lives for the better.

The Benefit of Helping Others

“We rise by lifting others.” —Robert Ingersoll

Last night, I was frustrated and perplexed. Behind the scenes (and sometimes not so behind-the-scenes), the server status for Becoming Minimalist was causing me trouble. I had tried a number of technical solutions, but each of them were unsuccessful in solving the issue.

Finally, on Saturday night, I sent out a tweet looking for some help. An old friend I haven’t talked to in years responded with an idea. He kindly walked me through a 5-10 minute solution. I was unbelievably grateful. He saved me hours of work.

This isn’t the first time I have received help from somebody on Twitter.

I actually started using Twitter years ago. I opened an account late one evening after noticing a bunch of traffic to my website from the social network. I figured if that’s where people were hanging out, maybe I should too.

One of the first people I started following was Chris Guillebeau on a whim after somebody recommended that I follow him. At the time, Chris had an interesting habit. His first tweet every morning was, “Good morning. How can I help today?”

I responded twice—once to draw attention to a blog post that was resonating with people and once to ask for help promoting a new book.

Both times, Chris obliged. And I have never forgotten it. Even to this day, 6 years later, I still remember Chris as the guy who offered and provided so much help to me when I needed it.

Of course, help has come from the non-digital world as well.

Just last month, I had a significant conversation with a friend in Miami about something exciting we are working on for The Hope Effect. The conversation began when she made a simple statement, “I want to know if I can help in any way.” Since then, we have met every two weeks hammering out specific ways her talent can be of assistance to us.

My short encounter yesterday reminded me that my past is chock–full of men and women who have offered to help me in any number of ways—sometimes when I was in desperation and sometimes when I just needed a little encouragement. But almost all of them I remember well. People who help us happen to stick around in our memory (and affections) for quite awhile.

But the benefit of helping others extends beyond the receiver.

The benefit of offering help also extends to the giver.

Four things stand out to me about people who help others. They display initiative, confidence, care, and capacity—all extremely positive characteristics. If you are lacking in any of these characteristics, offering to help somebody else can develop them in your life.

For example, you may think you don’t have any time in your life (capacity) to help others. But that might change once you discover how helpful you can be to someone who needs what you can offer—whether in a small way or a big way. Once you realize the joy you can bring to others by helping, you might find out that you had more time available than you thought.

You may lack confidence in your abilities… until you discover the countless ways you can enrich the lives of another. You may lack initiative in life… until you take the bold step to offer help and realize you had initiative all along.

When we offer to help someone else, they benefit. But so do we. Because helping others brings out many of the positive characteristics we desire to be true of us.

Why Saying You Want Change is Not Enough

Every Sunday morning, I drive by a park. It’s on the left-hand side of the street with a basketball court, play structure, and large soccer field clearly visible.

During the week, in afternoons and evenings, the park is full of excitement. Parents sit and talk, children play, teenagers ride skateboards, grown men show up to play basketball.

But early on a Sunday morning, the park tells a different story. It is quiet and completely empty—except for one person who, without fail, works out in the field every weekend.

For as long as I can remember, every Sunday when I drive by that park, I see a young man (high school age) exercising in that park, running sprints and working on his football skills with a private coach. Some weeks, I find him running 40-yard sprints while his trainer tracks his time with a stop watch. Other weeks, I find him high-stepping through tires, weaving through cones, or back-peddling quickly to improve his foot speed.

By the time I drive by, he is clearly exhausted. Often times I have seen him complete a drill and walk slowly back to the starting line. He will put his hands on his knees and take a deep breath—the physical pain obvious even from my vantage point. And then, with a heavy sigh, he will put his fingers on the ground, arch his back, wait for the whistle, and push himself again.

I know nothing of this young man. I don’t know his name, his exact age, or where he lives. I only know that he inspires me.

He reminds me that a goal without action is not really a goal at all.

He reminds there is a big difference between saying you want something, and actually working to make it happen.

My son is in 7th grade and loves playing sports. Many of his friends do as well. In fact, they love sports so much that when I ask them what they want to be when they grow up, most will say, “I want to be a professional athlete.” Their response doesn’t surprise me. When I was younger, I said the same thing.

It is a common dream that is tough to outgrow. No doubt, even in high schools all over this country, the dream of becoming a professional athlete remains.

In my mind, I imagine this young man from the park plays on a football team at one of our local high schools. His team is full of other high school students. Many of which would tell you they have a goal: to one day become a professional football player.

There are countless boys who claim they want to play in the NFL… but there is only one I see up early on Sunday morning running sprints until his legs hurt. There is only one working his tail off to make it a reality. And I am inspired because that is the dedication required to become a professional football player. I won’t be surprised if he makes one day.

The whole scene reminds me of a conversation I witnessed shortly after graduating college. A mentor of mine was interacting with a gentleman older than me when the man made this statement, “I want to buy a Corvette.”

My mentor responded to his desire quite frankly, “No you don’t.”

“What do you mean? Of course I do. I’d like to own a Corvette.”

My mentor responded with words I have never forgotten, “No, you don’t really want to buy a Corvette. You see, if you really wanted to buy a Corvette, you could buy a Corvette. You could sell your home and maybe also your business. Then, you would have enough money to buy a Corvette. You say you want to own a Corvette… but if you really wanted to buy a Corvette, you’d be changing your life to do exactly that.”

I learned a valuable lesson that day from my mentor, “Saying you want something is one thing, but actually doing something about it is very different.” We prove what we desire most by our actions, not by our words.

We see this and experience it all the time.

We want to get out of debt, but continue to spend money on unneeded things. We want to get in shape, but never make the changes in our diet or exercise habits to accomplish that. We want to start saving for retirement, but never pursue the answers we need to get started. We desire to start a business or change jobs, but continue to spend our evenings and weekends watching television.

Or how about this one? We desire to live in a clutter-free home, but continue finding reasons why we need to keep all the stuff around us.

In each case, what we say we want is different from what we actually pursue.

Again, saying you want something is one thing, doing something about it is very different. We prove what we desire most by our actions, not by our words.

So let me ask you: What is it you want most? What life change do you desire?

Then, ask yourself this follow-up question: Are you taking the steps necessary to accomplish that goal? Or, are you settling for something else instead?

After all, a goal without a plan is just wishful thinking.

***

Next week, we will open registration for the Spring edition of Uncluttered. Uncluttered is a 12-week online course designed to help you declutter your home, own less stuff, and find the life you want. This Spring, we will be offering the course (an $89 value) for free to anyone who pre-orders my new book, The More of Less. If you are looking for extra motivation in your minimalist journey, this course is perfect for you. Sign up today to receive email updates about registration right here: Uncluttered.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Fill your life with stories to tell, not stuff to show.

The simplicity/minimalism movement is a beautiful community. It is friendly, encouraging, and helpful. There is a genuine understanding that any promotion of simplicity is good for society—and there is little concern over who gets the credit.

It is a pleasure to be part of such a wonderful group of people. And I enjoy every opportunity to promote writing that encourages people to live more by owning less.

So fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea. Find a quiet moment this weekend. And enjoy some encouraging words to inspire more simplicity in your life today.

A Heart Filled With Love, Not Stuff | The New York Times by Jenny Qi. “I am finally detaching from my relics and moving toward a life that feels like my own.”

Opt Out: A Simplicity Manifesto | Zen Habits by Leo Babauta. Our lives become filled, even controlled, by the things we think we need to do. We think we can’t live without these things, but actually, we can.

Why I Don’t Want Stuff | Sivers by Derek Sivers. “I haven’t received anything for Christmas or my birthday in almost 20 years.”

The Average American Today Is Richer than John D. Rockefeller | FEE by Donald J. Boudreaux. She is incalculably richer, in fact.

5 “Secrets” to Living the Good Life | Goins, Writer by Jeff Goins. If you want to live a good life, you have to explore uncomfortable questions like, “Why am I doing this?” and, “Just because I can do this, should I?”

Clean Your House. Build a Home.

Late last year, we founded and launched a nonprofit organization called The Hope Effect.

From the very beginning, we have dreamed big dreams for this company. Our mission is to “change orphan care around the world by focusing on solutions that better mimic the family.”

Decades worth of research indicate traditional, institutional-style orphanages with large child to adult ratios are failing those they desire to help. When children do not receive adequate personal interaction within a loving environment, development is stunted and learning abilities are delayed or lost. Kids are “aging out” behind in almost every stage of human development.

To foster better solutions for orphaned children, we are building smaller housing units—providing individual homes for 2 parents and 8 orphans. In this way, children receive the love and attention and affection they would in a family and are provided an example of how a family functions for when they start their own.

On November 1, 2015, The Hope Effect was launched.

To say the public’s response to our work has been positive would be an understatement. In less than four months:

We have raised over $110,000 from 1,000 different supporters.
We have fully funded and broken ground on our first project: a family-style home on the campus of La Providencia in Honduras.
In partnership with KZ Architecture, we have started architectural design for future construction.
We have begun the process of finding personnel and researching land options for the construction of our first full-fledged orphan-care campus.

We have accomplished quite a lot in just our first 15 weeks. But there is much left to do!

So this Spring, we invite you to partner with us to change how the world cares for orphans by hosting a garage sale.

The concept is very simple: Commit to clearing the excess clutter from your home. Then, host a garage sale. Using the flyers and posters that we provide, promote your sale in your local community. Using your personalized campaign page, donate 100% (or a portion) of the proceeds to The Hope Effect.

Our goal is to host 250 garage sales this Spring. Tell us you are participating by following this link and clicking the “Become a Fundraiser” button. Your excess can become provision for a child in need.

If buying stuff hasn’t made you happy, maybe selling it will. (tweet that)

—

Or, you can participate/contribute in other ways:

By committing at least $10 per month, you can join our $10 Team of 250+ recurring donors.
Whether selling things or not, you can always make a one-time donation.
We depend on private donors and corporate sponsors to cover our administrative costs so that 100% of donations can be used directly for orphan care. If you would like to support our work in this way, you can do so here.
Follow the Hope Effect on Facebook and Twitter.

Small acts, when multiplied by thousands of people, can transform the world. Thank you for providing yours.

Parents, Stop Getting Mad at Your Kids for Wanting Stuff at Target

“My kids have too much stuff.”

It is a complaint I have heard from parents countless times. And it’s certainly not a complaint entirely unwarranted.

The statistics would seem to back up the argument:

British research found that the average 10-year-old owns 238 toys but plays with just 12 daily (The Telegraph).
3.1% of the world’s children live in America, but they own 40% of the toys consumed globally (UCLA).
In the United States, we spend $371 per child annually on toys. In the UK, the dollar amount is closer to $450 (World Atlas).

So I get it, our kids have stuff. Probably too much. But I think, as parents, we too often put the blame for this reality on the wrong person.

Our kids do have lots of toys and clothes and video games and crafts. But let’s remember, they aren’t the ones with the steady paychecks and they didn’t organize their last birthday party.

If there are too many toys in your playroom, you put them there—or, at the very least, you allowed them to stay.

Even worse, often times, our kids are simply following our lead. When the average American home contains 300,000 items, how upset can we really get that our kids own 238 toys? And when 33% of us can’t fit both cars in our double-garages, how unreasonable is it to assume our child will fill their art and craft drawer to overflowing?

In a society that encourages consumerism at every turn, what else should we expect? Our children are only following our lead.

But this is not just a societal issue, it’s a personal one as well.

I sometimes wonder what the three most common words are in American homes. Is it “I love you?” Or, is it…

“It’s on sale!”
“I want that!”
“Watch this ad.”
Or “Let’s go shopping!”

Haven’t we all witnessed (and/or experienced) the parent who gets upset with their child at the store?

A weary mother or father pushes their child around a store while the boy or girl almost obligatorily reaches for items on the shelves—asking, and then demanding, this or that.

After repeated answers of “No,” the frustration begins to grow. Finally, the parent puts their foot down in the situation. And the child responds with their own expression of frustration and anger. It’s certainly not a rare occurrence.

A wise parent once told me, “It’s a good sign to see a child throwing a fit in a store. Usually it means the parent is being the responsible one and not just giving in to every desire of the child.” And I agree, boundaries are helpful for children.

In fact, children who do not learn boundaries become adults who do not define them.

But I would like to argue today, that as parents, maybe we are getting mad at the wrong person. Rather than pointing out the unbecoming nature of our child’s behavior, maybe we should start looking at the fingers pointing back at us.

Almost certainly, our child did not drive to Target on their own. Our kids are in the store because we took them there—usually because we wanted (or “needed”) to buy something for ourselves or our family. And this is what you do in a store, isn’t it? You grab things off the shelf, you put them in your cart, and then you take them home.

No wonder our kids ask us to buy them stuff at the store… they’ve seen us buy things for ourselves a thousand times before.

Granted, there are legitimate reasons to go shopping. I’m not arguing against all consumption.

But we ought to remember that our children are watching us closely. Whether we like it or not, they are soaking up values from us as parents about how to live, how to work, how to achieve significance… and how to spend money. And if we are constantly desiring things we don’t need, why would we expect anything else from our kids?

Maybe we should stop getting mad at them for wanting things at Target… and start questioning if we really needed to be there in the first place.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

There’s more to life than buying stuff.

There are many wonderful people pursuing and promoting simplicity. Fortunately, some of them are gifted in communication and choose to encourage and inspire us with their words. I enjoy reading their unique perspective. I’m sure you will too.

So fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea on this beautiful weekend. Find a quiet moment. And enjoy some encouraging words about finding more simplicity in your life today.

You Weren’t Born to Pay Off Debt and Die | Blonde on a Budget by Cait Flanders. You might get 85 years on this planet. Don’t spend 65 paying off a lifestyle you can’t afford.

Why More and More Means Less | The Undercover Economist by Tim Harford. Status quo bias means that most of your stuff stays because you can’t think of a good reason to get rid of it.

The Power of Buying Less by Buying Better | The Atlantic by Elizabeth Cline. According to a recent survey commissioned by the British charity Barnardo’s, a majority of women’s garments are worn a mere seven times before being pushed to the back of the closet or tossed into the garbage.

The Challenge of Getting Rid of Stuff | The Simple Dollar by Trent Hamm. Every single step that I take in terms of understanding why I spend money and how I can spend that money more effectively in terms of making the best life possible is a victory.

Millennials: It’s Time to Toss Your Childhood Junk | The Star by Katrina Clarke. As baby boomers age and dream of downsizing, their grown kids return home to clean out the basement.

Why Millennials are Trending Toward Minimalism

If you pay much attention to the world of retail sales, you will notice a trend: worry.

You will certainly find short-term worry about not enough people buying enough stuff—but that worry has always existed. In a society that bases its measures of success in terms of home prices, market values, and GDP, there will always be a need to prompt citizens to buy more and more.

But beyond the short-term unease, there is a long-term anxiety clouding the retail market. This long-term worry is far more significant and can be summarized in one sentence: Millennials don’t want to buy stuff.

Business publications have been covering the story for years: Fast Company, Fortune, TIME, The Atlantic, Bloomberg, The Wall Street Journal, even Goldman Sachs.

Recently, in a radio interview for a station in Montreal, I was asked if I thought the desire to downsize was age-related. In the mind of the interviewer, it seemed to make sense that the older one got, the more they recognized the emptiness of material possessions and the need to minimize.

I assured the interviewer this was not always the case. In fact, from everything I can tell, the desire to minimize and declutter stretches across each of the generations. It is growing among the Silent Generation, the Baby Boomer Generation, Generation X, and the Millennials. In my new book, The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own, I highlight each of the unique forces drawing people of every age to minimalism.

But for the sake of this post, let’s consider some of the reasons Millennials are refusing to partake in the retail game as the rules are currently constructed and why retail giants are worried about it:

Technology and Mobility: The Millennials are the first generation born after the technological revolution. The world feels smaller to them than previous generations and they are intimately connected to one other—regardless of geography. Coffee shops have become the new office, collaboration has become the new competition, and mobility has become the new stability. And, as many Millennials will tell you, it is difficult to live a mobile lifestyle with a house full of stuff.

The Sharing Economy: Technology has ushered in a new connectedness with one another. Additionally, it has provided a platform on which access can take precedence of ownership. With the touch of a thumb, we can now borrow someone else’s home, bike, car, book, music, unused stuff, or countless other possessions. Ownership has never been less necessary.

Environmental Concerns: The Millennial generation is the most environmentally conscious of all age groups and this influences their buying habits significantly.

Living Preferences: The Wall Street Journal once reported 88% of Millennials desire to live in an urban setting and that one-third of the generation is willing to pay more because of it. Over the past several decades, retailers have banked on the growth of suburbia—bigger and bigger homes, further away from town-centers, fostering isolation, individualism, and personal ownership. As younger generations migrate toward smaller dwellings in walkable communities with shared amenities, consumer consumption will continue to slow.

Experiences > Possessions: As I have argued in the past, minimalism is not the end of spending. Even when minimalist principles are adopted on a large scale, the transfer of money will still take place—money will just be spent on different things than physical possessions (you can read more here: A New Minimalist Economy). The Millennial generation is proving this to be true, spending less on possessions, but more on wellness, food, drink, and experiences.

Debt/Unemployment: Certainly, significant economic trends have brought with it new shopping habits. The Millennial Generation has graduated college and entered the workforce in the middle of the Great Recession. In fact, most economic studies would indicate this generation is entering one of the worst working environments in modern history burdened with more student loans than ever.

Corporate Mistrust: Economic forces (housing bubble, student debt, shrinking of the middle class) and generational preferences (the environment, social justice) have resulted in a generation distrusting of large corporations and “the 1%” who run them. According to one study, 75% said that it’s important that a company gives back to society instead of just making a profit. While it would be interesting to know how previous generations would have answered the same question, one thing is for certain: the Millennial Generation is acting on this belief and choosing smaller, local retailers for their purchasing needs because of it.

There is one more factor that I think is quite significant. There is growing evidence that the Millennial Generation is “delaying adulthood.” At least, they are delaying adulthood as defined by economists (getting married, buying homes and cars, having children). Researchers point out that marriage is important to Millennials, they just want to do it later—the same with parenthood.

It remains to be seen whether the economic conditions of their upbringing have shaped Millennials to be minimal by nature or whether future economic growth and rites of passage will cause them to slip into the same excess of ownership that previous generations have fallen into.

But I am hopeful for the Millennial Generation. At the very least, they have examples to learn from. For example, both their parents and their grandparents continue to live beyond their means in crippling debt.

Millennials appear to be a generation hard-wired for minimalism.

I hope the trend continues.

Every Positive Change Starts With These Two Words

This past week, I repeatedly noticed an article being passed around by my parent friends. The column is from the New York Times and titled, “When Children Say ‘I Can’t,’ but They Can, and Adults Know It.”

It’s good, short, and helpful—I recommend it. The article offers ideas for parents to identify “faked incompetence” in their children and provides strategies to overcome it.

Faked incompetence is one of those pesky little behaviors in children that can become significant drawbacks in their potential as adults. I’ve always worked hard to push against it in my children’s lives (particularly for my daughter). So I was anxious to read the column and pass it along.

One day after reading the parenting article, I received an email from a woman I had never meant. Specifically, she was asking for advice on how to get out of debt.

In her email, she made this telling statement, “My husband thinks debt is inevitable and not a choice. He thinks it is the only way to survive and he can’t see a way out.”

I assured her, “There are millions of families who live without massive consumer debt. We are one of them. It is entirely possible and you can absolutely do it.”

As I typed out the words, I recalled the article I had read the previous day. False incompetence is not just a child-problem, it is an adult-problem. And we see it all around us in the statements we hear from others and tell ourselves:

I can’t live debt-free.
I can’t quit smoking.
I can’t cook.
I wish I could spend more time with my kids, but I just can’t.
I can’t find a different job.
I can’t save for retirement.
I can’t declutter my home.
I can’t, I can’t, I can’t…

If you think you can’t, you won’t. If you’ve already resigned yourself to defeat, you’ll never experience victory.

But this false incompetence can be defeated as quickly as it can be learned. The first and most important step in making any positive change in your life is to believe it is possible. Because without that belief, there is no first step.

Every positive change you desire for your life starts with two words.

Replace “I can’t,” with “I can.”

You can live debt-free. You can quit smoking. You can learn to cook. You can become a better parent. You can, you can, you can!

Consider as an example, living clutter-free.

Most of us know it is entirely possible to live in a clutter-free environment. We see others live a simpler, clutter-free life and desire it for ourselves. Some have even taken significant steps to realize it.

But others of you are not so sure. Your house has been cluttered for so long, you have almost given up all hope of ever living any other way.

For you, the first step to living in a clutter-free home is to take heart and simply believe it is possible. Realize you will never get there if you do not resolve in your mind that you can accomplish it. Find hope in the example of others. And then, take one small step forward. Replace “I can’t” with ” I can.”

Often times in our world, people search for quick-fixes or hidden knowledge. As if those who have accomplished something have more information than they are sharing. And while this may be the case in some highly-competitive industries, I have not seen this to be true in the simplicity movement. Most of us genuinely desire others to find the same freedom and joy living simply that we have experienced. And we don’t hold anything back.

But if there is one secret formula to living simple and clutter-free that I have noticed, it is this: we all believed it was possible. We knew the path might be difficult and time-consuming at times. But we knew victory could be found and clutter could be conquered. It was true for me. And it can be true for you.

I’ll say that again, it can be true of you.

Faked and/or false incompetence is not just a childhood behavior that parents need to identify and address. It is a people-problem that keeps many of us from implementing the positive life changes we desire.

As adults, we need to identify and overcome it ourselves.