Joshua Becker's Blog, page 97

Demystifying Financial Related Stress

Money is, by definition, a tool to expedite trade. At some point in human history, someone decided it was easier to carry metal coins to the market than bartering chickens for textiles. Money was born and agreed upon as an acceptable unit of trade.

By its nature, it retains no moral or immoral attributes. It only makes trading goods more convenient. If I have enough currency to provide for my basic needs, it should not be a source of pain or anxiety in life.

Unfortunately, this is not typically the case. According to a recent study, Nearly three out of four adults reported feeling stressed about money at least some of the time. Despite living in one of the wealthiest nations in the history of the world, money continues to be the top source of stress in American’s lives.

This juxtaposition is fascinating to me. And I think it is important to understand why that is the case.

At the outset, I should mention money is a complicated conversation. There are very few specific realities that can be blindly offered—especially to such a vast and varied community as this one.

We vary in many ways:

Financial Standing: Some of us live with excess, some of us in debt. Debt, by its nature, brings anxiety and worry into our lives. And overcoming stress completely can be difficult until we get out from under it.

 Income: Some earn a living well above our needs, some specifically allocate each penny for budgets to align, and others fall further and further behind.

Socioeconomic Background: Some of us grew up with plenty, others with very little. These backgrounds reflect themselves consistently in our expectations. James Altucher once famously wrote that he felt poor with less than $10 million in the bank, while most of us would never dream of having that much. Our backgrounds greatly influence our expectations.

Cost of Living: Becoming Minimalist readers are scattered all across the globe with various costs of living. Some live in areas where the cost of living  is high (New York City) while others live in places where money can buy much more.

World/Religious Views: Our views of the world and humanity greatly influence our understanding of money. Sometimes these views offer peace, sometimes they bring guilt and shame, while others pile additional stress and anxiety on our lives.

Committed Relationships: There is little shock when people first hear that money is one of the leading factors in divorce rates. When two people with differing personalities and backgrounds come together in the same family, there is almost always some friction. And friction in our most valued relationships naturally results in a level of anxiety.

Consequences from Decisions: Some financial decisions take years and years to overcome. One foolish shopping spree in our twenties may still haunt our credit score today. Even if we are responsible spenders today, we may still be feeling the ill-effects of less-wise choices from our younger self.

Because of these variations, specific thoughts about money are almost impossible and sweeping generalities must be personally evaluated before they can be applied.

But as I consider the evidence, I see  two main reasons that almost 75% of us experience money-related stress: 1) We wish we had more; 2) We spend as if we already have more.   

1. We wish we had more. There are any number of reasons why people want more money—sometimes those reasons are healthy, sometimes they are unhealthy. Certainly, the possession of money is not contrary to a simplified life, but a simplified life is not possible if money possesses you. Those who love money can never be satisfied. They will never own enough. They will always desire more. And those who desire to be rich carry the weight of that burden every day. It will always hold hostage your thoughts, your attitude, and your actions. It results in extra stress. When the love of money is present, freedom is not.

2. We spend as if we already have more. Another significant reason for money-related stress is the propensity of so many to live beyond their means—going into debt by spending more than they earn. Sometimes this is a result of poor management or unexpected emergency expenses, but most of the time it is a result of excessive consumerism.

There aren’t necessarily easy answers for overcoming the reasons above. But at the very least, demystifying and labeling the reasons for our financial anxiety moves us one step closer to overcoming them.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Never underestimate the importance of removing stuff you don’t need.

Encouragement is important in all areas of life, but especially when trying to live a life different than those around us.

Encouragement provides us with motivation to persevere. It invites us to dream dreams of significance for our lives. And it begs us to work diligently with optimism and promise.

Overcoming the pull of consumerism is a difficult challenge regardless of our stage in life. Simplicity requires encouragement. To that end, I hope you will find motivation in these articles below.

Each post was intentionality chosen to inspire simplicity in your life. For maximum effect, find a quiet moment this weekend and enjoy them with a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

Chasing After More When You Already Have Enough | Money Saving Mom by Crystal Paine. While there can be good things with some of those “more’s”, it’s time we stop spending our life chasing after more and really stop and ask ourselves, “When is enough, enough?”

The Power of Altruism | The New York Times by David Brooks. Maybe it’s time to upend classical economics and political science. Maybe it’s time to build institutions that harness people’s natural longing to do good.

Your Salary is Not Your Self-Worth (Why I Gave Myself Permission to Earn Less) | Cait Flanders by Cait Flanders. The numbers don’t mean anything, if they don’t serve a purpose in helping you live the life you want.

New Rule: All Purchases Subject to a 7-Day Mental Quarantine | The New York Times by Carl Richards. Throwing stuff away is only half the battle. You have to stop stuff from coming into the house in the first place.

52 Obtainable Ways to Simplify Your Life | Let Why Lead by Erica Layne. With all the control we do have, why not fill our lives with the things that really matter to us—and let go of the things that don’t?

 

3 Steps to End Closet Chaos

Note: This is a guest post from Courtney Carver of Be More With Less.

Before I simplified my closet, it was a bigger source of stress than I knew.

It wasn’t just the sheer volume of clothing stuffed into a small space, but all the things the clothes represented. Bad purchase decisions stared me down every morning, reminding me of my debt and discontent. There were the clothes that didn’t fit me anymore (my body or my lifestyle) reminding me I didn’t really know who I was, or what I wanted.

Then there were the items I purchased to feel a certain way or to be perceived a different way. It took me awhile to realize it, and even longer to admit it, but I had countless negative emotions tied up in my closet. Facing them every morning wasn’t a positive way to start the day.

If you can relate to my stressful closet scenario, or you are overwhelmed with closet chaos for other reasons, consider this 3 step process to end closet chaos.

1. Discover the true cost.

Remove everything (and I mean all the things) from your closet. Put everything on your bed. Add all clothing, accessories, jewelry, and shoes from other locations of your home too. All of it.

If it’s on your bed, you’ll have incentive to end closet chaos by bedtime.

Next, take a look at what you’ve amassed over the past few years or decades. It helps to see it all in one place. If seeing all of your stuff like this is a complete shock, you’re welcome to move on to step number two.

But if you need more shock value, go a little deeper and try this …

Put a price on each item. Make a list of each item and the actual price you paid for it. If you can’t remember what you spent, estimate. Add up the cost of each item until you have a grand total. Next, estimate your hourly take home pay and divide the total cost of your closet collection with your hourly take home pay.

For example: If you have $2500 worth of items in your closet and you take home $10.00 an hour, divide 2500 by 10 and you’ll find out you worked 250 hours to buy the clothes and other items sitting on your bed. That’s a little more than six 40-hour work weeks. It took a month and a half to earn the items on your bed and that doesn’t count the hours and weekends lost at the mall or online shopping for everything.

Using the example above, ask yourself what you would do if someone handed you $2500 right now. Would you buy all the stuff back or make different decisions with your money? What if you could trade those 250 hours of time for something other than the stuff from your closet? Would you spend the next 6 weeks working to buy back all the stuff, or would you spend the time differently?

Those answers will help you understand the true cost of what you’ve purchased, and the lesson will stick with you when you consider future purchases. At least it did for me.

2.  Put your favorite pieces back in the closet.

Choose the items you wear most frequently and fit you the best and put them back in your closet. Leave the clothes you don’t like and aren’t sure about on the bed. Take a picture of your simplified closet. Each morning when you open your closet, think about how it feels to see more space than stuff. Celebrate the idea that you get to wear your favorite things every day.

3. Box up the rest for a few months.

Take the left over items on your bed and box them up. Put them out of sight. Instead of giving them all away and worrying about not having enough, put a little space and time between you and the excess. See how it feels. Ask yourself if you miss anything. Do you feel lighter? Happier? Less stressed? After 60-90 days, if you haven’t missed anything you boxed up, give it away. Otherwise, revisit the stuff you packed away and make a decision. Let it go, bring it back, or take another 30 days to decide.

There isn’t a right or wrong decision here. The distance you put between you and your stuff will help you decide based on actual wants and needs instead of emotional connection.

For a deeper dive into understanding what enough means to you, consider minimalist fashion challenge Project 333. Dress with 33 items or less for 3 months. You can find the rules here.

Once you end closet chaos, your mornings open up, you spend less, and you will begin to find confidence in who you are instead of what you wear. You can apply this 3-step process to any room in your home, or collection of items you think may be excessive.

Instead of using this process to feel guilty, or upset about what you’ve spent, or how much time you’ve invested in working for things you might not even want now, smile. With these 3 steps, you’ve redefined your purchase process, eliminated stress, and reminded yourself you can choose to own less stuff, spend less money, and reclaim the time and energy you previously devoted to stuff.

Smile, because now you can start really living.

***

Courtney Carver will help you find your way back to love at Be More With Less. You can find her on Facebook too. 

The Link Between Simple Living and Finding Your True Self

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Erica Layne of Let Why Lead.

“Gladys?” I asked as I unlocked her door and stepped inside her dim apartment, a place that instantly transports you back to 1979.

“I’m in bed!” she called.

I walked down the hall and turned the corner to see my 85-year-old neighbor patting down her wispy gray hair.

She rolled her eyes in the direction of her legs and said: “I can’t get out. The paramedics will be here soon. Will you call my daughter?”

She paused and then added, “And bring me a slice of toast?”

I smiled at the way she got right down to the point. Gladys always got right down to the point. I returned to my apartment across the hall and smeared homemade jam on a slice of wheat toast.

As it turns out, that toast was Gladys’ last meal in her apartment; she moved into an assisted living facility after leaving the hospital and passed away not long after.

What Would You Want in Your Last Minutes?

Sometimes I think about that morning and the honor it was to bring my old friend her last meal at home. She seemed to know, in the moment, what not being able to get out of bed meant. She looked around her home with a sense of finality.

But the only things she asked of me? Call her daughter and bring her some toast.

She didn’t ask me to fetch her hair brush or makeup bag. She was well past fussing over her looks.

She didn’t ask me to hand her the newspaper she read every day or to turn on her favorite political talk show.

She didn’t ask me to open the shades so she could take in the view from the windows one last time.

In an apartment full to the brim of the things she’d collected in her 85 years of life, she simply sat and waited.

When it came down to it, nothing meant more than letting her daughter know she was okay and getting some food in her body to give her the energy to get through the morning.

What the Simple Life Does for You

I think, in a way, that this is what the simple life does for anyone who walks it.

But instead of waiting to realize it until you’re 85 and stuck in bed, you can realize it any time you strip away the excess and find the bare essentials taking center stage.

I believe that simple living makes room for self-discovery. Instead of hiding behind the things we’ve amassed and the busy-ness we wear as a badge, we have to confront what we really want of our lives and who we want to be.

The Hard Questions that Simple Living Opens Our Eyes To

It’s not always easy to ask ourselves the hard questions—the kind of questions that I imagine are illuminated in your late days of life but are often squeezed out by more “pressing” things in your 20s, 30s, 40s and more. Questions like…

Do you speak up when it counts?
What do you love to do but never make time for?
In regards to the risks you’re afraid of taking, what do you really have to lose?
What are you proud of?
Do you speak kindly to yourself and others?
Are you living or existing?
What impact do you want to leave on the people you love?

I think that’s why so many of us fear stillness. Because sometimes, being still feels harder than hustling. Scarier.

Quieting the noise, asking ourselves the hard questions, and uncovering the truest version of ourselves sounds infinitely less safe than buying more clothes or putting in more hours at the office.

Deep down, we know that listening to the voice inside may lead us down a different path than the one we’re taking, and… change is hard.

Finding Your True Self

But when we do the hard work of self-discovery—the stillness finding and the soul searching—we experience more peace and clarity than we ever felt when we were hustling.

And slowly, over time, the idea of the simple life moves from the head to the heart, until it’s really not about the stuff we fill our homes and lives with but instead about the people and pursuits we fill our hearts with.

And we can sit with our thoughts and a slice of toast…

Just like my neighbor Gladys.

***

Erica Layne writes at Let Why Lead about the freeing power of living by your WHY. Join the community by subscribing to her newsletter or following on Facebook.

Pictures from The More of Less Book Tour (and How You Can Join Us on Tuesday)

Ten days ago, my family and I embarked on a West Coast Book Tour to celebrate the release of The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own. 

Over the course of 17 days, we would visit five states, ten cities (from Phoenix, AZ to Victoria, BC), and meet thousands of people.

The trip has been memorable on both a personal and professional level. My kids have enjoyed the sights and the sounds (and the tastes) of each unique city. And I have enjoyed the opportunity to meet so many of you in person. Your stories have been both encouraging and inspiring to me.

I am more committed than ever to spread the message about the life-giving benefits of owning less.

I know many of you have not been able to attend the events—mostly because you don’t live on the West Coast. For that reason, I want to share a few pictures from the events so you could get a sense of how the movement to own less continues to grow.

And then I’m going to tell you how you can join us in Victoria, BC for the final stop on the tour.

But first, if you could have attended one of the events, it might have looked something like this:

San Diego with Special Guest: Dave Bruno

Kids. Kids have been there!

Los Angeles with Special Guest: Peter Walsh

Chatting with Peter backstage in Los Angeles. It was the first time we had met in person.

San Jose.

Meeting people afterwards is always my favorite part of the evening.

My daughter has been learning photography this summer and has taken all the tour photos. She also likes being in front of the camera :).

Portland with Special Guest: Dana Shultz

Join Us on Tuesday

On Tuesday evening, at 7pm PT, I will be concluding the Book Tour in Victoria, BC where I will be joined by special guests Mike Vardy and Cait Flanders.

Stream of Consciousness, a Victoria-based social enterprise, will be live streaming the event on YouTube.

If you have not been able to attend the tour in person, you can still join us virtually. Here’s the direct link to live stream the event.

 

 

 

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Fill your life with stories to tell, not stuff to show.

The simplicity/minimalism movement is a beautiful community. And I enjoy any opportunity to promote writing that encourages people to live more by owning less.

So fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea. Find a quiet moment this weekend. And enjoy some encouraging words to inspire more simplicity in your life today.

8 Ways Minimalism Can Help Maximize Your Wallet | Forbes by Joshua Becker. Below the surface, minimalism is about something much greater than owning less. It is about re-evaluating our pursuits, our habits and our motivations.

I Had to Learn to Stop Splurging On My Son | The Washington Post by Kristin Vanderhey Shaw. There’s no question that the fact that I made a habit out of buying too many toys for my son is a first-world problem.

Curate Your Life, and the Rest Will Follow | Afford Anything by Paula Pant. Life isn’t about acquiring, it’s about editing.

Decluttering: Practical Steps For Living With Less | Huffington Post by Leigh Campbell. How much ‘stuff’ do you you really need?

Busyness is a Kind of Debt | Raptitude by David Cain. Whatever is normal to us becomes invisible, no matter how counterproductive, and we’ve simply become accustomed to tracking too many ongoing concerns in our heads.

Don’t Wait Till It’s Too Late to Simplify Your Life

Note: This is a guest post from Lisa Avellan of Creative Holistic Home. 

Is it ever too late to simplify your life?

Technically, no. You should start today.

But practically speaking, there will come a time in all of our lives when we stare into the eye of a storm with one hand holding down the fort and the other distracted by the insignificant clutter and demanding tasks because we’ve put off simplifying one day too long.

It’s that moment when suddenly the world stops you in your tracks and reminds you how little you control. The world hasn’t stopped though and now you have to manage a crisis while managing the consequences of overconsumption, overwhelmed homes and calendars, and the important buried under the immediate and you realize you’re spread too thin.

When the Simple Life Matters Most

Until recently I believed simplifying my life by owning (and wanting) less and being intentional with my priorities was the purpose of my new minimalist lifestyle—that the immediate benefits of less distraction and more margin for what I truly love was the sole purpose.

That was until our family was halted by an all too common storm: cancer. Again. The eye of this storm has fixed itself in our lives indefinitely while permanently burning a hole through normal and routine and safe. It is changing the pattern of life, forever.

When the winds are fierce and the howl is deafening and the rains drench deep to the soul, where fear devastates our happy go lucky existence, simple becomes our breath. Simple is our heartbeat.

Because in the face of cancer there is no margin for distraction or comparison or retail therapy—there is only breath and heartbeat. Life yesterday was normal and today it’s threatened. The lens of life, unaided by fancy electronic gadgets and fashion forward wardrobes, now focuses on the absolutes: Love. Family. Health. Hope.

More Does Not Equal Prepared

When we travel with our young daughters, I am often preoccupied with preparing their carry-on bags with enough snacks and activities to keep them distracted, quiet, and manageable for the duration of the flight. I brainstorm every possible need they may have to ensure I can provide something to appease their fickle desires and inevitably I overwhelm everyone with the overstuffed luggage.

I prepare with the mentality that more will fix everything.

Our lives are full of messages that what we need is more. More money, more clothes, more stamps in our passports, larger homes, more toys…the list goes on. Yet, the message of more hasn’t fulfilled its promise.

More does not equal prepared, but it can equal distracted and overwhelmed and fragile.  Buried underneath the weight of debt or clutter or busyness we sacrifice our readiness to take on life’s most ominous forecasts.

A prepared life is unrestricted by possessions and activity. It’s free from the unnecessary for the purpose of intentional readiness.

Simple living is more than creating space and joy in your life; it’s also preparation for life’s inevitable storms that require our full attention. It’s removing the side show of distractions and unnecessary fluff which steals our ability to handle the important and necessary with clarity.

The More of Simplicity

Cancer diagnoses, devastating earthquakes in developing counties, or wildfires and hurricanes are not so subtle reminders that he with the most toys does not win. Our physical possessions are quickly discarded when disaster strikes.

Staring in the face of eternity we know soul deep that our hope is not found in our stuff.

The simple life cultivates hope; it prepares us to see and feel limitless hope. It shows up when doctor appointments don’t have to compete with unfulfilling activities on the calendar. Hope shines when a debt-free lifestyle softens the blow of the pending hospital bills. Hope floats as family and friends rally around not in pity but in support and love because of the relationships nurtured with intention.

The more of simplicity is hope!

And hope is mighty powerful in the face of the unknown. Hope is contagious and abundant when we value a life of simple joys, purposeful community, and authenticity.

Better Late Than Never

It’s never too late for hope. And hope is brewing even in the darkest storm. The storm—the frightening diagnosis or the middle of the night phone call or the bad day on the stock exchange—it may be the warning siren to summon us into a simple life, offering us the opportunity to adjust our focus as we ride out the storm.

The simple life presents us with purpose and resolve and we no longer have to gather up our wits and fight with our reserves. We can fight with everything within and be present in the moment—to give ourselves fully to the storm and let go of the insignificant for the sake of the most important.

Maybe it’s never too late to simplify, but one thing I am more sure of now is that the simple life is more than owning less and less to do.

It’s also putting what’s most important first and crafting a life of margin in preparation for the unknown and inevitable complications of this broken world.

Don’t wait till the storm makes landfall. Simplify now and weather it out with hope and clarity and peace.

***

Lisa Avellan blogs at Creative Holistic Home where she inspires and equips others to live with intention. You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter.

The More of Less Book Tour—West Coast Edition

Today, I am embarking on a West Coast Tour (10 cities) to promote my new book, The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own (Barnes and Noble | Amazon).

I’ll be excited to have my family with me. And a number of special guests joining me along the way as well.

Each event will provide opportunity for me to share the story behind the book and engage with many of you. There will also be plenty of time for questions, conversation, photos, and signings.

Admission to the book tour is free. And each event lasts 90 minutes.

If you live out West, grab a friend and a ticket. I look forward to saying hi to each of you in-person.

Tour Dates

May 09. Phoenix, AZ with Asha Dornfest.

June 13. Tucson, AZ (tickets)

June 17. San Diego, CA with Dave Bruno (tickets)

June 18. Los Angeles, CA with Peter Walsh (tickets)

June 20. San Jose, CA (tickets)

June 21. San Francisco, CA (Vine Conference) *registration req’d

June 23. Sacramento, CA (tickets)

June 25. Portland, OR with Dana Shultz (tickets)

June 27. Seattle, WA (tickets)

June 28. Victoria, BC with Cait Flanders and Mike Vardy (tickets)

Over 1,000 people have already RSVP’d. While not required, these responses are helpful as we prepare for each event.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

There’s more to life than buying stuff.

There are many wonderful people pursuing and promoting simplicity. Fortunately, some of them are gifted in communication and choose to encourage and inspire us with their words. I enjoy reading their unique perspective. I’m sure you will too.

So fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea on this beautiful weekend. Find a quiet moment. And enjoy some encouraging words about finding more simplicity in your life today.

Study: People Who Value Time Over Money Are Happier | Vox by Brian Resnick. People want both more time and more money. But unfortunately, there is rarely an opportunity to simultaneously gain in both.

My Year of Buying Nothing – Six Months In | The Guardian by Michelle McGagh. I felt isolated and lonely and I wondered daily whether I’d made a huge mistake in setting myself the challenge – but then something amazing happened.

5 Simple Steps to Getting Rid of the Junk in Your House | Dr. Oz by Tehrene Firman. It seems like everyone and their neighbor is kicking their junk to the curb, cleaning out every nook and cranny to get rid of the things they don’t really need.

What Makes A Good Life? Lessons From The Longest Study On Happiness | TEDxBeaconStreet by Robert Waldinger (12:46). As the director of a 75-year-old study on adult development, Waldinger has unprecedented access to data on true happiness and satisfaction.

—

A Simple Year. For the last four years, Courtney Carver has been helping people simplify their lives through a year-long program called A Simple Year. To try something new in 2016, she has decided to open registration mid-year. A Simple Year focuses on a wide variety of topics: clutter, diet, mindfulness, gratitude, just to name a few. The registration price for the program is $240. So it’s not for everyone. But if you want help simplifying your life in a comprehensive way, I do recommend it.

The Art of Being Easily Fascinated

Note: This is a guest post from Joel at Joel Zaslofsky . 

“The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

Who comes to mind when you think of someone who’s easily amused?

For me, it’s Stew – a great friend I met in college and still admire. Just about anything you say can be worth a genuine chuckle or hearty belly laugh to him.

As you might imagine, people love Stew. He constantly boosts self-confidence… and he can explain some mysteries of the universe (he’s a physicist after all).

Now, who’s the first person you think about that’s easily frustrated?

I’m imagining another friend of mine, we’ll call him Gary. Gary has a different approach to life than Stew. Gary quickly gets frustrated when things don’t work out the way he wants them to—at work, in sports, or in relationships. I still think Gary’s a great guy… there are just some things that really get him fuming. 

Here’s one more question: Between Stew and Gary, who would you rather spend time with?

Probably Stew, right? People who seem to constantly find joy in us and the world around us are almost always more enjoyable to be with.

For that reason, early in my life, I made a conscious decision to live “easily-fascinated.”

Over the years, I’ve seen this decision pay out countless dividends in my life and the people around me. Just as Stew makes others feel self-confident, I’ve tried to do the same. And personally, because of that decision, I am more generous, more grateful, and more valuable to others.

If you’re like most people, you’ve never even heard the term “easily-fascinated,” much less ever considered how the approach to life might benefit you. 

Fascinated with Life

Many folks I know are like me, deeply and regularly grateful for their lives. But have you ever wondered where that bubbling spring of gratitude comes from? It often springs from noticing the miraculous all around us.

For starters, consider your existence.

According to this fascinating infographic from Dr. Ali Binazir, the odds that you were uniquely born to your parents at this time (given everything we know about human interaction and reproduction) are basically 1 in 400 quadrillion. Talk about all the stars aligning just right! The series of events that had to unfold for you to even exist are the very definition of a miracle.

I mean, isn’t that fascinating?!

And that’s just the beginning. What about that light switch on the wall next to you? How amazing is it that you can touch a tiny button and the entire room instantly fills with light?! Or clean water flows from your faucet every time you turn it on?! Or planes filled with people are flying over your head right now?! I mean think about… for just a moment… how amazing is the world around us?

And that’s just the manmade stuff! What about giant trees that grow from seeds? Humongous balls of gas (or rock) floating in place in the Universe? Or the wonderful, refreshing flavor of a strawberry? It’s almost too much to behold when you think about it!

Isn’t it too bad that so often we don’t?

Of course, the opportunity of being easily-fascinated extends far beyond the material things around us. This all-too-rare attribute can quickly spread to better appreciate the people around us too.

Because practically speaking, fascination represents a desire to connect, a willingness to embrace discomfort, and the motivation to learn how things like relationships (or physics) work.

We can more meaningfully connect with people when we become absorbed in who they are, why they do what they do, and how they go about their lives. When we get fascinated with others, we become generous with our time, our attentiveness, and become intensely intrigued with how we can help others.

We display our fascination in both conversation and learning.

Being easily fascinated is an important key to increase generosity and embrace your authentic self. But how do we begin to embrace it?

4 Steps to Brighten Life’s Luster

These steps aren’t sequential or in order of importance. So just experiment with one first and move on to another if you get curious:

1. Be fully present in conversation. The first rule of fascination is that it only happens when you pay attention. So put your active listening ears on and ignore the digital or social buzz around you.

I can almost guarantee the person or people you’re talking to are more likely to be awe-worthy than the Internet in your pocket or those other people over there.

2. Embrace your inner multipotentialite. Owning my identity as a multipotentialite (someone with a diversity of interests, passions, and skills) gives me permission to let curiosity blossom into fascination. For example, I allow myself to marvel at (and then experiment with) all the various ways to run my podcasting workflow.

Emilie Wapnick, explains more about this concept in her popular TED Talk that’s been eye-opening for millions of people.

3. Practice saying “How does that work?” and “Tell me more.” This is a rather simple trick. All you do after someone is done talking is either say “How does that work?!” or “Tell me more!” and then let the person keep talking. Your job is to grab on to something intriguing until your series of questions lead to fascination.

4. Experience an idea like it’s the first time. For example: remember your school days when you learned that our bodies are made up of these things called molecules and that those molecules had these things called protons, neutrons, or electrons in them? And that there are quadrillions of these things in and around you at any given moment?

Holy smokes! Wait a minute. How does that work?

It’s Your Turn

It only takes a moment to decide to be present. It costs nothing to embrace fascination and yet it means everything to a friend or loved one to hear “Tell me more about that.”

We’d all benefit from a little more wonder.

***

Joel Zaslofsky is the multi-passionate podcaster behind the popular Smart and Simple Matters show and gives away his best resources at JoelZaslofsky.com. He would also love to help you have simplicity your way, at your speed, and with your people through SimpleREV Local – a movement at the crossroads of simple-living and community-building.