Michael Kindt's Blog, page 52

The thing about vegetarian cooking is it gets boring.

It’s not me, seriously. I’ve subscribed to Vegetarian Times for years. I own over a dozen vegetarian cookbooks, and am quite skilled in the kitchen. But, frankly, there are only so many iterations.

I am eating fish now cuz they don’t have any feelings, according to Kurt Cobain. Plus, I have a fishing license. You know how James Bond has a license to kill? I’m like that only with fish.

But also chorizo, cuz it’s good.

Also, hamburgers (with bleu cheese and Worcestershire mixed right in), for the same reason. Cuz it’s good.

Fresh veggies are kind of scarce around here. I rarely see an avocado anymore.

Meat, bitches. I may be turning my back on the vegetarianism I have practiced since 2010 or some shit.

Sorry, PETA. As far as I’m concerned, you can eat me.

I worked produce in a supermarket one time for, like, 3 years. I’ll let you in on a little secret.

You know how you guys dig to the bottom for your lettuce head, or how you take your tub of strawberries from the back rather than the front?

Yeah, we were totally hip to that.

“Reverse rotation” is what we practiced.

LOL.

Pancho & Lefty - Willie & MerleFree and clean??

Pancho & Lefty - Willie & Merle

Free and clean??

If you go to Venezuela these days, the hotels are asking you to bring your own toilet paper. LOL.

Is this the final stage of socialism: no toilet paper?

Cotton balls: the dreaded final stage of beer nuts.

How fucking hard is it to make toilet paper?

It really boggles my mind that there are still socialists and communists about. They seem so antiquated, like people who are pro-slavery or pro-powdered wig.

We must give kudos to our Universities for making such insane and unworkable dreck still seem possible and right to tender and bewildered Millennial minds.

You can't let religion dictate your law.

If you do, you’ll end up all backwards and jealous, like a Muslim country.

We are free here. Our women can show their ankles. We can drink.

What always confused me about religion and law was: if you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. I mean, if you are against gay marriage, well, don’t get gay married. If you are opposed to abortion, don’t have one. You can be religious, you just can’t tell everyone to be religious like you.

In a free society, we must not only accept, but defend differences. I think with the internet and trying to be PC and fighting and ass-kissing, we’ve forgotten about the thing that makes America (great?). The thing that makes it, tho.

Donald Trump wants to “make America great again”, but really it’s up to us.

So shut the fuck up and get on it.  

So now North Carolina is suing the Feds, and the Feds are suing North Carolina.

The whole thing seems comical to me. All this fuss over where to take a dump!

Seriously, who cares? And the argument about perverts is ridiculous. Our children are at the mercy of perverts where ever they go, especially if they go to church or school or play sports.

Takin’ a whiz in a Target bathroom with some dude named Karen should be the least of our worries. Jesus.

The GOP hate black people. Repeat after me….

The GOP hate black people. Repeat after me….

I, too, come in female.

I, too, come in female.

Mosquitoes. Jesus H. Christ.

I would avoid Alaska if I were you.

They come in clouds, dark deadly clouds. They can even blot out the sun with their numbers.

I have never seen anything like this in my life, not even in Minnesota.

Cook a hamburger outside on the grill? Ok. Do I get a blood transfusion?

And OFF!, the mosquito spray, they love it. It’s like candy to ‘em.

These mosquitoes do not even give a shit. Punk mosquitoes. ISIS fucking mosquitoes.

Jesus God, I may come back home, driven away by insects.

Wow.

Yogurt based Ranch dressing is absolutely hideous. My God. I feel violated.

Somewhere a food chemist is laughing his ass off. And yes, I sometimes eat salad for breakfast, but I don’t think I’m going to eat anything today. Too traumatized.