Michael Kindt's Blog, page 50

It’s weird how much I know about “The Simpsons” without ever having seen even one episode.

All my knowledge has come from crossword puzzles. If you are doing today’s LA Times puzzle, 63 down is “Apu”.

Sinatra - It Was A Very Good Year

Sinatra - It Was A Very Good Year

The older I get, the more brilliant Sinatra becomes. So, like,...

The older I get, the more brilliant Sinatra becomes. So, like, blow me. Go listen to Creedence Clearwater Revival without laughing or something.

When my dad ran out us, he didn't leave me nothing. Certainly not gravel in my guts or spit in my eye.

That’s what A Boy Named Sue’s dad left him. Also a worn out picture that his mother had and an empty bottle of booze.

When I go to Oregon, how do I approach this man? He paid Mom hardly a dime in child support. He cheated on her when I was 5 and she threw him the fuck out and he didn’t pay dime one. Then, in my late 30s, he reconnects. Wants to put me in his will. He spoke of lawyers and getting documents notarized.

I blew it all off. I probably have more money than he does.

I’m going to Portland, he lives in Klamath Falls. Do I even stop by? He’s looking at 70 now.

As we all will be, if we are lucky.

I do indeed enjoy getting a rise out of Tumblr proprietary, liberal to a fault.

Me, I have some Conservative views. So guess what? I’m fucking a kitten in the ass!

Like, right now.

It’s so hot.

We evil backward retarded conservatives. What are you gonna do, huh?

Besides lose, I mean?

John F. Kennedy put a man on the moon. Obama put a man in the ladies’room.We work with what we...

John F. Kennedy put a man on the moon. Obama put a man in the ladies’

room.

We work with what we got.

People think my political views are "wrong", especially regarding Trump.

First of all, you know nothing real about me. For all you know, I could be an overweight black woman living in Philly.

Second of all, Trump is WINNING. People were flabbergasted on Tumblr that I had the balls to suggest he hadn’t made a political mistake. (See previous post and comments).

He’s fucking WINNING. He beat every Republican challenger and now he’s beating Hillary.

What is really interesting about this election cycle is the rebellion of the Republican ranks–against it’s own right-wing religious ass-kissing agenda, and against liberalism, who snorts and snickers at us as if we were rubes and rednecks and idiots.

I think something has truly been stirred up here and Trump will be the next president. Look out.

But it’s whatever. We all reap what we sow.

Quite disappointed in Trump's turning down of a debate with Uncle Bernie.

It would’ve been a stellar moment for both of them. I would classify this as the first political mistake Trump has made so far as he marches to the White House.

Debating with a socialist is like debating with a toddler (It’s MINE MINE MINE….No, it isn’t. Sorry, you have to work for it. Clean up your room first). What the fuck is he afraid of? Jeez. Hopefully he’s not listening to advisors now. Who is he? A shill like Hillary. An icon as opposed to a real person?

Donald, don’t listen to them. You can rip Bernie a new one!

Haha.

Once upon a time, there was a husband and wife.

Like many husbands and wives, they had kids. In their case, they had four kids, four whole entire kids.

Three of their kids had light brown hair and green or hazel eyes, while one, the youngest, had black hair and very dark eyes. This youngest child was also much shorter than the others.

Long had the husband suspected that the youngest child was not his, but he hoped against hope and said nothing to his wife.

One day, like most Americans, the husband got cancer and within a few months he was on his death bed in a hospice. His wife was at his side, holding his hand. With a weak voice, the husband finally asked, “Honey, is little Juan, Jr. really mine?”

“Oh, yes, Kyle my dear,” the wife said. “I would never cheat on you.”

“Really?”

“I swear on everything that is holy: that boy is yours.”

Comforted, the husband passed away a few hours later. The wife was saddened, but also relieved.

Thank God he didn’t ask about the other three, she thought.

Bought a chunk of stock in a real estate company today.

So if you live in a mid- to upper-scale apartment complex in Denver, Phoenix, Indianapolis, or Atlanta, you might be giving a small portion of your rent to me in the form of dividends.

I formally thank you.

I would also like to extend a big macro-economic thank you to the Millennial generation, who appear to be delaying home buying more and longer than any generation previous–unless, of course, you are still living with your parents.

In that case, I would like to say grow the hell up. What is wrong with you?