Michael Kindt's Blog, page 494
July 25, 2011
Charlie Chaplin's full name
It's very weird to almost know something…or to have once known it. Doing a crossword puzzle, that was the clue: Charlie Chaplin's full name. I have done one crossword puzzle in my life, which happened on Sunday and part of today.
I will never do another. What a colossal waste of time.
But I stuck it out on this one and completed it. What was Charlie Chaplin's full name? I used to know it. I used to know what his full name was. Don't ask me why or how, but I DID.
Not anymore, though. Now all I know is that I knew it at one time. Very odd, to catch yourself in the middle of forgetting something. Those particular brain cells that held Charlie Chaplin's full name are gone, and I am aware that they're gone. Other brain cells are aware of the death of still other brain cells. Knowledge has been transformed from actual knowledge to simply knowledge that once existed.
So what happened? Did I burn through those particular brain cells at a Dead show or something? Not likely. I was never much of a hippie. I have been in the midst of several brutal mosh pits, though. Perhaps someone's leather studded bracelet whacked me up side the head and POOF! Charlie Chaplin's full name vanished from the inventory of completely useless shit I know.
I didn't want to go to the computer. It felt like cheating. Instead, I sat there in my chair like a vast fucking loser and tried to conjure, summon, bring forth Charlie Chaplin's full name from the ruins that are my mind.
To no avail.
I pieced it together by completing other clues, and when I saw it, CHARLESSPENCERCHAPLIN, I didn't recognize it at all.
I used to know it, though, goddamn it.
July 24, 2011
What type of cancer does your more have? (if you don't mind me asking.) My mom is on chemo too, and she's almost completely bald as well. And she likes it, too, haha.
She has lung cancer. Lifelong smoker of cigarettes. No ribbons for that, heh.
Hello. Didja miss me? I missed you.
Got drunk, like LOTS. A girl got sick in my car. It stinks now. I was smoking pipe in this giant beer garden and it was called "ostentatious". I like that. I am fucking ostentatious, bitches. I lost my keys (that had my house key on it!). And my snus. I crawled in through the window to give you this report. Crazy times. Seen old cousins not seen in years. Saw my mom, and my uncle Spud. I ate a burger! Jeez. Someone bought me a shot and I refused it and then they took issue and wanted to kick my ass. Sorry. I don't do hard liquor. One must maintain. There's a reason I made it passed 27.
Anyhoo, my mom is doing well. She's balder than me now because of the chemo, but she's totally down with it, saying that if she makes it she's going to keep her head bald. "It's so much quicker in the shower," she says. As a bald guy, I couldn't agree more.
Fun times had by all, as far as I can see. Fuckin A.
July 22, 2011
Take the Skinheads Bowling ~ Camper Van Beethoven
Take the Skinheads Bowling ~ Camper Van Beethoven
I'm leaving. Goodbye.
Going to Gold Discovery Days. Drunk till Sunday. Smalltownboyapalooza!
Bachmann: Turn Her Over; Drive!No phrase is more American than...
Bachmann: Turn Her Over; Drive!
No phrase is more American than 'There oughta be a law', not even 'Will that be Large, Extra Large, or Super Duper?' Americans have always been rule-happy, especially from about 1980 on. Every year there are more laws, ordinances, regulations, mandates, edicts, precepts, and requirements that we, the "free" people, must follow. Or else.
This rule fetish affects everyone, even me, the brilliant, bald-headed columnist you hate to love. Right now in fact, as I sit here innocently typing, I am in violation of one law, as well as a stipulation in my apartment lease. It's cool, though. I was alive before both.
Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann likes rules, too. As a Republican and darling of the certifiable Tea Party, it should come as no surprise. "When fascism comes to America," said Sinclair Lewis, "it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross."
One of the more hilarious things Bachmann wants to outlaw is pornography. She signed the promise a couple of weeks ago in order to secure the endorsement of Bob Vander Plaats, an influential Iowa activist and failed gubernatorial candidate. Vander Plaats wants all candidates to sign this promise before he bestows upon them, like Zeus from Olympus, his blessing. So far, the glassy-eyed Bachmann has been the only one crazy enough to do it.
When he's not busy demanding that pornography be banned, Vander Plaats is busy demanding that homosexuality be banned, and when he's not busy doing that, he's busy demanding that Sharia Law (read: Islam) be banned. There sure are a lot of people and things Vander Plaats wants banned. Hitler only had the Jews.
The pledge Bachmann signed also claims that black families were better off as slaves than during the Obama administration, which is simply not true during this enlightened age of corporate feudalism and debt serfdom. Apparently, like most committed Tea Partiers, she's a bit dyslexic and thinks it's 1102.
Michele Bachmann is a goldmine of contradiction and lunacy, making the rest of the whack jobs in the Tea Party look almost normal. She opposes big government, except when she's raking in hundreds of thousands in federal farm subsidies. She's so efficient at motherhood that she raised 23 foster kids in a single seven year period, no doubt with all the love and precision of a science fiction robot.
Unfortunately for Vander Plaats, Bachmann and other anti-liberty types, pornography can never be banned. It's just too sexy.
I'm joking. It's actually all the same and pretty boring, but, like the ban on drugs, it will be an instant, complete, and utter failure. Imagine if we turned pornographers into billionaires with their own private armies like we did the drug lords! We'd really have to lock up our women then.
No, the anti-liberty types are just going to have to go home, slip in the Leave It To Beaver DVD, take off their pants, and fantasize about a time in America that never was.
source/other articles: CaglePost/Michael Kindt :: Facebook
Spring break girl roughly fucking in bathroom gradeunderneath the stairs or near the...
Spring break girl roughly fucking in bathroom grade
underneath the stairs or near the lights
She's young and bosom and ass and camera and spam
floating myriad tastes your way in monthly fees never paid
Dark hair she has and dyed no doubt and fake tits
with plastic soul and broken heart and nothing
Objectified while you stroke your cock
subjectified and alone, always
July 21, 2011
"From that fateful day when stinking bits of slime first...
"From that fateful day when stinking bits of slime first crawled from the sea and shouted to the cold stars 'I AM MAN!' our greatest dread has always been the knowledge of our own mortality. But tonight we shall hurl the gauntlet of science into the frightful face of death itself. Tonight we shall ascend into the heavens. We shall mock the earthquake, we shall command the thunders, and penetrate into the very womb of impervious nature herself."
~ Dr. Frederick Frahnkensteen
What brought on the sudden desire to rule an empire of pencil-subjects?
I've always liked pencils, never much liked pens. In 2011, good pencils don't really exist (unless they're artist pencils). Standard Chinese shit these days made with crappy composite wood, shitty graphite.
I thought: "Wouldn't it be ridiculous if I just started collecting regular pencils?"
Yes! So I did.
Those Venus Velvets are from World War 2. Six bucks.
:)
