Michael Kindt's Blog, page 102

Do you have any advice for a millennial who is inevitably going to become a miserable and alone middle-aged Man?

Nope. Par for the course, bitch. Do you have any advice for a Gen-Xer who’s middle-aged? I’m not alone, not miserable, but wondering.

My advice: only get blowjobs from women who are over 35.

Trust me.

I hope it's a cold, bitter winter (in Ohio especially).

I actually drove thru part of Ohio once. Yeah, I wasn’t impressed. Very flat. I was surprised by the amount of trees, though. Have you been to Kansas? MY GOD. It’s like being on an endless Monopoly board, without the color and the charm. The cardboard replaced by endless, endless endlessness.

There’s like 14 trees in the whole state of Kansas. They got a fence around ‘em. They charge admission.

Anyway, I’m talking Ohio. I just invested in a utility company over there and I’m banking on a cold ass Ohio winter, literally.

“The reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.” –Old Man Winter

For a hill men would kill, why they do not know.

That’s a line from Metallica, For Whom The Bell Tolls

When those satanic bastards brought down the twin towers, I played that song over and over.

I was so pissed.

We were actually attacked! I was ready for war.

Bush, though, delayed. And then attacked the wrong country?

The bastard was in Afghanistan. They have 24 hours to give us Osama bin Laden. After which, no Afghanistan.

Blown the fuck off the map. A gaping hole where it once was. Perhaps a place to put our garbage?

But he attacks Iraq.

Forever I will be perplexed by that.

I won’t think too much about it. Don’t want my head to explode, but what if we had done nothing? What if those monsters had taken down our twin towers and we didn’t do anything? We cleaned up. We moved on.

What would’ve happened, had we done that?

Me and my cousin Ara, getting lit up the other night.Her hubby...

Me and my cousin Ara, getting lit up the other night.

Her hubby and all his buddies were doing a fantasy football draft.

Me and Ara were bemused by it, but also delighted in the voluminous booze and finger foods.

We totally hope that one team that you’re all about totally wins.

Totally.

JO THE WAITER - TUBEWAY ARMY, 1978Gary Numan :)One of my...

JO THE WAITER - TUBEWAY ARMY, 1978

Gary Numan :)

One of my favorite songs…

Gland control.By any means necessary.

Gland control.

By any means necessary.

Some things my chef told me years ago when we were hiring.

Always schedule the interview early in the morning, like at 7 am. Just by doing that you get rid of ten pussies.

Tell them to go into the cooler to find something. Chicken thigh, say. If it’s a well-organized cooler (and chef’s always was), their mind should grasp it. If not: pussy.

Make them cook something basic, sunny side up eggs with a side of toast and hashbrowns. Show them where the raw materials are and stand back

If they fuck it up: no thanks

Chef enforced a dress code, too: black chinos and a button down the front shirt. TUCKED IN.

If a person is willing to come to a job interview at 7 am and actually change their clothes for a job, well, you got something to work with.

He did not tolerate calling in sick either. “No one in their 20s is sick, EVER!”

If you were in your 20s and you called in sick you were fired, unless you actually showed him the tumor.

I fucking hated my chef, but now, in retrospect, I totally love him :)

Ain’t that weird how it works?

I’m a gangster. Grr! I’m mad!

I’m a gangster. Grr! I’m mad!

The vast majority of Christians do not even know, and most likely would reject, the radical pacifism of their Lord.

Most people can point to “Turn the other cheek”, but He also says to offer the other one. He teaches that we are not to resist evil in any form, ever under any circumstance, to accept it all. We are to love our enemies. He goes even further: we are not even to resist lawsuits. If we are sued at law, we are not to fight, and then when we lose, we are to give even more than the judgment against us.

Try and grasp, if only for a moment, the level of nonresistance He is actually teaching here.

“Yeah, whatever,” Christians have been saying about what Jesus actually taught because they don’t have the belly for it and don’t even want to try. It goes against everything rational and “fair” that they’ve ever learned.

Read Matthew chapters 5, 6, and 7 (in an older, real Bible, like the King James).

Your Lord and Savior was a complete radical. Too radical, apparently, even for you.

Christians have been going to war against each other and against non-Christians since day one, but that isn’t a surprise, because Jesus also taught us that His way wasn’t for every one:

“Wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat…Strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.”

Plainly, the radical Christian teaching is not for the mass of humanity, but for the few who can hack it. Therefore, it follows, that there has never been a Christian nation, of any kind–ever.

The true radicalism of Christ has been side-stepped for 2 millennia now and it’s time the bullshit stopped.

You wanna talk religious objections? Well, I got a whole history full, buddy.

You might be hearing from me a little less.

My wifi bill went up and whenever that happens, I cancel it. Then, a few weeks or a month later they call me back and offer it to me for $20 a month again.

I always accept.

It only lasts a year, then shoots up $40 a month again.

We do this every September LOL.

Coffee shops, here I come!