Michael Kindt's Blog, page 100

Thirty years ago today, Parental Advisory labels on music albums...

Thirty years ago today, Parental Advisory labels on music albums were invented. Dee Snider, seen here, was called before the U.S. Senate to testify.

Looking back on the whole thing, they probably should’ve warned us about his jeans rather than his lyrics. I mean, lookit those things!

Ouch!

(full story)

Finally A Movie The Whole Family Can Enjoy!

I sometimes miss the big movie, the blockbuster, the one everyone’s talking about. Long now have I lived without tv, which means long now have I lived without previews.

I remember Forrest Gump. It was huge. I saw previews everywhere. Everybody was talking about it. Everybody loved it. This was long ago in the distant past. Bill Clinton, the substitute teacher of presidents, was in the white house, getting intern hummers. It was a liberal time, but not psychotically so.

I resisted Forrest Gump. If everybody’s doing it, why should I? If there’s anything I’ve learned about myself over the years, it’s that I’m oppositional and contrarian. This is why I manage to annoy both liberals and conservatives in my political writings (rantings, truth be told). The black or white people just can’t handle my fifty shades of gray, boyyyy.

Due to enormous societal and peer pressure, I finally broke down and rented it. Back in those days, you actually had to climb into your horse and buggy and clip clop clip clop down to the video rental place. Once there, you borrowed for a small amount of money this little round thingy call a DVD, which stands for “Dude, very dated!”

I fucking loved Forrest Gump. For once the great unwashed masses were right. Holy shit.

These days, I have no idea what’s in theaters. A while back an acquaintance asked me if I was going to see Fast & Furious 7.

“7?” I said. “They’re up to 7? How in God’s name?”

Also, minions. I see minions everywhere: on cakes and t-shirts and the internet, in eventually to be regretted foot and ankle tattoos.

I don’t even know the movie they spawned from, but they are cute. Yellow and cute and various eyed.

I want some minions of my own. I’ve always thought I was minion-having material. How come I don’t have any minions, America? What the fuck?

They would do my bidding, which would be evil, and we would live on a compound, because only evil people live on compounds: meth chemists, cult members, gun nuts, etc. And whenever they left to do my evil bidding, I would rub my hands together and laugh maniacally.

Man, I miss the movies…

It has acne and thinks its parents are stupid.

It has acne and thinks its parents are stupid.

SOTP

SOTP

afterthewaves said about FEMALE PREDATOR: Actually one could argue that this is a good example of...

afterthewaves said about FEMALE PREDATOR: Actually one could argue that this is a good example of the results of patriarchy. Women aren’t viewed as a threat, even when their actions are deplorable. Society won’t allow it, b/c that would mean they’d be equal to men.

SSSSS

Your point is taken and good. However, I disagree with your overall view. The radfems have evilized anything remotely male. They have done this because they are cunts. Think about it: you are saying that easy treatment for women who commit a crime is STILL sexist.

Sorry, I refuse to dance with you down that particular fantasy path.

Men and women are equal, and when a woman commits a crime, she should be as misteated by the authorities as any black person.

At the library yesterday and the place was full of Mormons.

They’re all wearing white button down shirts and black pants. They have nametags on that say they’re “Elder”, as in “Elder” Cody and “Elder” Kyle. They are all 19. Elder to what? Their little sisters back in Utah? All of their little sisters back in Utah are named Brittany/Courtney/Ashley, by the way.

My question is: why are they all here in the library with the homeless people? Have they nowhere else to go? That’s why everyone else is here. Shouldn’t they be out knocking on doors, selling their sad schpeel of total fucking bullshit?

All I can think is, What a buncha shitty ass salesmen.

I used to sell vacuum cleaners door-to-door and you sure as shit wouldn’t catch us killing time in a library with a bunch of homeless people. The library is for people who have given up, who insist it ain’t their fault. It’s for losers waiting around for the government to swoop in and save them from themselves.

These fuckers need to get out there. Refuse to take no for an answer. Tell people, “No, really you have to wear special underwear and believe we’re all gods.”

When I was selling vacuum cleaners, I got a lot of initial No’s. But once I started vacuuming and showed them how filthy their life really was, they were all, “Damn, I had no idea.” One out of every ten BOOM a $1500 sale, $150 of which was mine.

We had financing plans. Do the Mormons have those? I think the sheikh or pope or sky-god or whatever they call their CEO should definitely think about a financing plan. Pay as you go.

A little here, a little there, then one day: HEAVEN!

There is no bad mood that can’t be instantly cured by playing “Queen Bitch” by Bowie.

It’s my happy place song :)

In case anyone is wondering,

my pasta did not quite turn out. Instead of raviolis, what I made were dumplings with Italian stuff in the middle of them. They were very dumpling-like, very unlike pasta, haha.

She said she liked them, but she is a nice person and I suspect she was just being nice.

Next time I serve pasta, I’m buying that shit in the store!

(re:this)

Watching some annoying show about a female predator.

It’s a documentary about a teacher who seduced her male student and they’re all telling us about how her husband was ignoring her, how she came from a bad family, wha, wha, wha.

I wonder, if a 35 year old man had sex with a 16 year old girl, would we wonder about the family he came from? About his wife is ignoring him?

Gimme a fucking break.

So apparently Vladimir Putin got hold of a bad bowl of borscht and has come down with “end of days” diarrhea.

TASS, the Russian news agency, euphemistically describes it as “dysentery-like”.

You never really hear about the gastro-intestinal peculiarities of world leaders. You would never see a headline OBAMA GASSY; MICHELE AND THE GIRLS RETREAT TO EAST WING.

And it’s a damn shame.

I’m no fan of Putin, but I don’t hope he dies. I hope he makes it. “LIVE THROUGH THIS,” Courtney Love would tell him.

I can see Vlad now, nude and covered in sweat, perched on a Kremlin toilet going “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” I can see it now, but I sure as hell don’t want to.