Luke Green's Blog, page 5
December 29, 2011
Lucretia Character Profile
World Setting: Bystander
Status: Published
Drivethru: http://rpg.drivethrustuff.com/product...
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0040GJBS2
Birth Name: Unknown
Aliases: Lu (friends), Bystander (Kali), Kimono (Jason)
Age: Unknown, the law puts her at 25, other estimates put her 2-3 years younger
Height: 5'2"
Weight: Between 96 and 125 lbs
Hair: Silver
Eyes: Blue
Complexion: Pale
Ethnicity: Presumed French-Canadian/Japanese
Nationality: American
Home: Seattle, Washington
Occupation: Librarian
Languages: English, Japanese, French, Thai, Arabic, Latin.....many others
Quotes:
"Bardus res magis perturbo quam libri in ventosus dies. Quam operor populus lego illa res?"
"I could lift this car if I had to. Makes me little bit of extra baggage up front about as heavy as crap in comparison."
"If you want a research aide, listen to the research aide. If you don't want an aide, don't ask for one."
"Shimatta! The bank robbery has been over pour...for...forty minutes! How long does it take after a robbery to get a check deposited?!"
"Jurassic Park, Crichton, Michael, check out October 1st, 2035, turned in November twentieth, sans cover and stained with something I do not want to identify!"
"Truth? Like there's only three hundred soldiers in the valley truth? Some truth is deception."
"I am not that usual."
Abilities:
Strength: Can reliably lift in excess of two tons. But gets stronger in cold weather.
Stamina: Extremely durable and heals very fast. Immune to all known diseases and resilient to all known toxins.
Heat Senses: Sees temperature changes, this can overwhelm her normal spectrum vision at times.
Electrical Senses: Can see electricity signals, this also tends to overwhelm her normal vision.
Awareness: She knows you're watching her and how.
And ***SPOILER***
and unprinted ***SPOILER***
***SPOILER***
and lots more ***SPOILER***
Skills:
Manipulation: She's very good at getting people to come to faulty conclusions, at least on the short term.
Thievery: Lu is an exceptional pickpocket, lock pick and is very stealthy.
Librarian/Researcher: Lucretia is surprisingly skilled at doing detailed research.
Weaknesses:
Low Heat Tolerance: Burns easily and suffers both heat exhaustion and heat stroke earlier than average people.
Electrical Reaction: Lu gets a bit giddy and slightly off when in very strong electrical fields.
Alcoholism: Knows, but hasn't admitted it yet, rarely drinks save when there is emotional stress. Binges when she drinks. Commonly has blackouts.
Fighting "skills": Lucretia's fighting ability is such that all things considered, a handful of untrained, unpowered average joes were able to toss her in a garbage compactor.
Vision: Her various senses make reading signs and books difficult at times.
Appearance: Lucretia's ethnicity is hard to identify, most of the time she seems Asian with a touch of Caucasian, but her features seemed to shift subtly to match different appearances. Most people, including Lucretia usually assume it's a trick of the light. If asked, she'll insist she's Japanese/Canadian. Lucretia alters her hair to match whatever outfit she's wearing, but always has two braided forelocks coming down in front of her ears and resting on her chest. She keeps these braids even if they don't really fit the rest of the outfit.
Lucretia always dresses in high-necked, long-sleeved dresses which extend low enough to hide her feet. These dresses are varying quality depending on whether she wears them for work or spare time. Her spare time dresses are of extremely high quality and modeled off of various traditional costumes from around the world ranging from kimonos and hanbok to poodle skirts and Victorian dresses.
She tends to appear ethereal and almost not there right up until she opens her mouth to talk and the coarse nature of her vocabulary and her normally poor grammar crashes that image.
Personality: Lucretia is very acerbic and coarse in speech. She frequently curses or swears and shows little to no shame about her conviction for attempted grand theft and destruction of property. Quite often she will flirt with people around her but states that if you have to touch the other person or show any skin then it's not being done right. She prefers raw food and eats in ways that most would consider unhealthy, taking advantage of her superhuman resilience. Food is not so important to her save that it means she's no longer hunger after eating it.
Lucretia is an intense history buff, primarily in terms of economic and political histories. She prefers reading books in their original language and knows tons of languages. She also has a good interest in modern day spy novels. It is a very bad idea to damage any book that Lucretia feels is her responsibility. She will find ways to get you back for that.
Lu has trouble with leaving dangerous situations alone. If she will involve herself in things that she is afraid might result in someone's death. Usually, she'll try to involve herself in a way that most people don't figure out that she is trying to help. Despite her criminal and homeless background, Lucretia tends to be more conservative politically speaking.
Around younger children, Lucretia's personality shifts fairly sharply to become a lot less coarse and abrasive. She is very kind and protective of children, and tends to be kind and big-sisterly with them.
Background: Lucretia was homeless up until she was arrested for her attempted bank robbery. At the time, the courts ruled that she was nineteen and her current legal age is based on that. There were some concerns that she was actually a minor at the time, and the case is still studied for the arbitrary assignment of age. She spent three years in prison, during which time she earned her Library Science degree and one other and also ended up being part of a research project run by Stannich Research. When prison guards interrupted a vivisection with her as the subject, the research was halted and some of the involved parties were arrested. Lucretia filed a lawsuit against Stannich for an unstated but substantial amount of money and also was granted early parole.
Bystander
Status: Published
Drivethru: http://rpg.drivethrustuff.com/product...
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0040GJBS2
Birth Name: Unknown
Aliases: Lu (friends), Bystander (Kali), Kimono (Jason)
Age: Unknown, the law puts her at 25, other estimates put her 2-3 years younger
Height: 5'2"
Weight: Between 96 and 125 lbs
Hair: Silver
Eyes: Blue
Complexion: Pale
Ethnicity: Presumed French-Canadian/Japanese
Nationality: American
Home: Seattle, Washington
Occupation: Librarian
Languages: English, Japanese, French, Thai, Arabic, Latin.....many others
Quotes:
"Bardus res magis perturbo quam libri in ventosus dies. Quam operor populus lego illa res?"
"I could lift this car if I had to. Makes me little bit of extra baggage up front about as heavy as crap in comparison."
"If you want a research aide, listen to the research aide. If you don't want an aide, don't ask for one."
"Shimatta! The bank robbery has been over pour...for...forty minutes! How long does it take after a robbery to get a check deposited?!"
"Jurassic Park, Crichton, Michael, check out October 1st, 2035, turned in November twentieth, sans cover and stained with something I do not want to identify!"
"Truth? Like there's only three hundred soldiers in the valley truth? Some truth is deception."
"I am not that usual."
Abilities:
Strength: Can reliably lift in excess of two tons. But gets stronger in cold weather.
Stamina: Extremely durable and heals very fast. Immune to all known diseases and resilient to all known toxins.
Heat Senses: Sees temperature changes, this can overwhelm her normal spectrum vision at times.
Electrical Senses: Can see electricity signals, this also tends to overwhelm her normal vision.
Awareness: She knows you're watching her and how.
And ***SPOILER***
and unprinted ***SPOILER***
***SPOILER***
and lots more ***SPOILER***
Skills:
Manipulation: She's very good at getting people to come to faulty conclusions, at least on the short term.
Thievery: Lu is an exceptional pickpocket, lock pick and is very stealthy.
Librarian/Researcher: Lucretia is surprisingly skilled at doing detailed research.
Weaknesses:
Low Heat Tolerance: Burns easily and suffers both heat exhaustion and heat stroke earlier than average people.
Electrical Reaction: Lu gets a bit giddy and slightly off when in very strong electrical fields.
Alcoholism: Knows, but hasn't admitted it yet, rarely drinks save when there is emotional stress. Binges when she drinks. Commonly has blackouts.
Fighting "skills": Lucretia's fighting ability is such that all things considered, a handful of untrained, unpowered average joes were able to toss her in a garbage compactor.
Vision: Her various senses make reading signs and books difficult at times.
Appearance: Lucretia's ethnicity is hard to identify, most of the time she seems Asian with a touch of Caucasian, but her features seemed to shift subtly to match different appearances. Most people, including Lucretia usually assume it's a trick of the light. If asked, she'll insist she's Japanese/Canadian. Lucretia alters her hair to match whatever outfit she's wearing, but always has two braided forelocks coming down in front of her ears and resting on her chest. She keeps these braids even if they don't really fit the rest of the outfit.
Lucretia always dresses in high-necked, long-sleeved dresses which extend low enough to hide her feet. These dresses are varying quality depending on whether she wears them for work or spare time. Her spare time dresses are of extremely high quality and modeled off of various traditional costumes from around the world ranging from kimonos and hanbok to poodle skirts and Victorian dresses.
She tends to appear ethereal and almost not there right up until she opens her mouth to talk and the coarse nature of her vocabulary and her normally poor grammar crashes that image.
Personality: Lucretia is very acerbic and coarse in speech. She frequently curses or swears and shows little to no shame about her conviction for attempted grand theft and destruction of property. Quite often she will flirt with people around her but states that if you have to touch the other person or show any skin then it's not being done right. She prefers raw food and eats in ways that most would consider unhealthy, taking advantage of her superhuman resilience. Food is not so important to her save that it means she's no longer hunger after eating it.
Lucretia is an intense history buff, primarily in terms of economic and political histories. She prefers reading books in their original language and knows tons of languages. She also has a good interest in modern day spy novels. It is a very bad idea to damage any book that Lucretia feels is her responsibility. She will find ways to get you back for that.
Lu has trouble with leaving dangerous situations alone. If she will involve herself in things that she is afraid might result in someone's death. Usually, she'll try to involve herself in a way that most people don't figure out that she is trying to help. Despite her criminal and homeless background, Lucretia tends to be more conservative politically speaking.
Around younger children, Lucretia's personality shifts fairly sharply to become a lot less coarse and abrasive. She is very kind and protective of children, and tends to be kind and big-sisterly with them.
Background: Lucretia was homeless up until she was arrested for her attempted bank robbery. At the time, the courts ruled that she was nineteen and her current legal age is based on that. There were some concerns that she was actually a minor at the time, and the case is still studied for the arbitrary assignment of age. She spent three years in prison, during which time she earned her Library Science degree and one other and also ended up being part of a research project run by Stannich Research. When prison guards interrupted a vivisection with her as the subject, the research was halted and some of the involved parties were arrested. Lucretia filed a lawsuit against Stannich for an unstated but substantial amount of money and also was granted early parole.
Bystander
Understand Repetition
Repetition is an important tool for writing of any sort. The more often a point is repeated, the more important it seems to the reader.
In narration, for the most part, you want to avoid repeating things word for word. You want to repeat a reference to a situation or event, but not a word for word repetition. Some people have a higher or lower tolerance to this. For example, I got irritated at seeing the phrase "like a puppet with its strings cut" twice within fifty pages in one book. Someone else might not notice that at all.
Finding unique ways to describe things each time will usually improve the enjoyment of the story.
There are times, however, when you want to hammer a point into the ground, or when you want to make a deliberate reference to an earlier occurrence. The latter is called an ironic echo and is usually used to either point out that a prediction has come true, or else an event happening at the current point in the story mirrors almost exactly a similar event earlier.
Also, single words and small phrases can be repeated fairly frequently as part of a variety of sentences. These can be representative of the current storyline or arch. Hence the term "arch words" and "arch phrase".
There will be some habits that are yours that end up repeating over and over again. In my case, I make frequent use of the word "however". Such accidental repetitions can be a part of your style, but at the same time they might just imply that you're not paying attention to what you're writing at the time.
In dialogue, an often repeated phrase applied to a particular character is called a "catch phrase" and is used to further define a particular character trait. A good example I've recently seen is Sabre's "...is the enemy." "Extravagance is the enemy," "laziness is the enemy", "hunger is the enemy", so on and so forth. It is used to hammer home the point that she tends to think of things in militant terms.
The key, as with most things, is less about do or don't do it, but to understand what impression will be given dependent on how you choose to use it. It is when you don't think about things that you make mistakes and generate responses that you don't want.
In narration, for the most part, you want to avoid repeating things word for word. You want to repeat a reference to a situation or event, but not a word for word repetition. Some people have a higher or lower tolerance to this. For example, I got irritated at seeing the phrase "like a puppet with its strings cut" twice within fifty pages in one book. Someone else might not notice that at all.
Finding unique ways to describe things each time will usually improve the enjoyment of the story.
There are times, however, when you want to hammer a point into the ground, or when you want to make a deliberate reference to an earlier occurrence. The latter is called an ironic echo and is usually used to either point out that a prediction has come true, or else an event happening at the current point in the story mirrors almost exactly a similar event earlier.
Also, single words and small phrases can be repeated fairly frequently as part of a variety of sentences. These can be representative of the current storyline or arch. Hence the term "arch words" and "arch phrase".
There will be some habits that are yours that end up repeating over and over again. In my case, I make frequent use of the word "however". Such accidental repetitions can be a part of your style, but at the same time they might just imply that you're not paying attention to what you're writing at the time.
In dialogue, an often repeated phrase applied to a particular character is called a "catch phrase" and is used to further define a particular character trait. A good example I've recently seen is Sabre's "...is the enemy." "Extravagance is the enemy," "laziness is the enemy", "hunger is the enemy", so on and so forth. It is used to hammer home the point that she tends to think of things in militant terms.
The key, as with most things, is less about do or don't do it, but to understand what impression will be given dependent on how you choose to use it. It is when you don't think about things that you make mistakes and generate responses that you don't want.
Archetypes and Stereotypes
Most people take a dim view of stereotypes and assume that it is a bad thing to design a character to fit a stereotype or archetype. The assumption is that making use of a stereotype means making cookie-cutter, low dimensional characters or, worse, that you are giving in to unfair perceptions of different groups.
This view operates under the perception that a character can only fit one particular stereotype at a time.
Stereotypes exist because, for one reason or another, at one point in time, they were true. These are an example of inferential thinking. Inference, as adverse deduction, takes into account similar situations or individuals that have existed in the past and looks for common patterns. They then make the guess that those patterns would be true in the situation or individual you are currently looking at.
This is how profiling works.
If you look at most of the stories of love and romance involving the Knights of the Round Table or a samurai, then you will find that the pattern is that most of those stories are tragic in nature. Following that pattern, one can reasonably assume that any love story involving Arthurian knights or samurai will result in a sad ending somehow.
Inference, however, is not one hundred percent accurate. As stated, it operates based on information about similar situations, not the situation that is in front of you currently. It will often be correct, especially if the information leading up to the inference is up to date.
A good example of inferential failure comes from a TV movie where Sherlock Holmes wakes up after being preserved for a hundred years. He tries to prove his skill in deduction (actually inference) by looking around the room and making guesses based on various things he sees around the room. However, his framework of understanding is so far out of date that he is fairly inaccurate and in fact makes a statement that we would consider racially bigoted that was not a cliche in his original time.
Inferences are in essence guidelines for understanding a situation. Profiles again are the same thing, they are a broad range of traits and behaviors that statistically match together. Another comparison is the search areas defined on maps. The more elements you know of, the smaller an area you have to focus on.
In the same case, stereotypes narrow down a character, defining them so that the readers can understand them.
If you have only one stereotype to deal with, you have a huge range of a characters that fit that stereotype and thus the character resembles a large number of other characters. They are bland and boring, not because they are over-defined, but because they are underdefined.
A more unique character fits a large number of stereotypes and with each trope, stereotype and archetype you add, the narrower and more unique the character appears and the more interesting.
In addition, stereotypes give you a guideline to understand what a reader will expect from a specific character, and when you know what the reader expects, you can have an easier time leading them to specific conclusions.
In addition, it allows you to mix concepts that usually aren't seen mixed. When you do that, you force a reader to think harder about a character in order to find the place where those two concepts intersect.
For example, Runya Sulemar from the Greenwater is first introduced in one of the prologues (and thus not posted for view here). I initially describe her in the process of performing a ritual cleansing and establishing her as a lost, young and religious person. I only reveal that she is serpentile from the waist down after establishing her as a holy and faithful person.
In this case, I have presented two stereotypes that normally conflict with each other: snakes and holy knights.
There is a narrow intersection where that works, involving Asian style concepts on the snake: guardianship and wisdom, both of which fit in well with the concepts of the holy warrior. When I later show Runya using stealthy tactics and attacking from silence to eliminate enemies before they notice her, that fits in with the tactics of a snake. As such, even though it is not normal for a paladin-style character to stab someone in the back, it is acceptable for her since she's established as a snake earlier.
Another example, Lucretia from Bystander is superstrong, supertough and with super-reflexes. Normally, that would also mean that she is good in a fight, however, Lucretia is worthless in a fight. I essentially apply to her the stereotype of an untrained street kid who spends most of their time running and talking tough but with no real fighting skills.
Again, two conflicting stereotypes with a very narrow space of intersection.
Take a look at any character sheet on TVtropes.org and you will find that a lot of characters fit a large number of tropes. The more unique the character, the more tropes and stereotypes they fit within.
Despite this, the readership will generally define your characters only on one or two of the most obvious stereotypes, or else insist that they don't fit the normal stereotypes. However, they will still at least subconsciously expect the characters to follow the standard patterns of the connected stereotypes.
This means that if you understand the standard patterns, you can deviate from them at appropriate points to make the readers pay more attention to what is going on.
Bystander
Greenwater Part One: Leaving Home
Greenwater Part 2: Setting the Board
This view operates under the perception that a character can only fit one particular stereotype at a time.
Stereotypes exist because, for one reason or another, at one point in time, they were true. These are an example of inferential thinking. Inference, as adverse deduction, takes into account similar situations or individuals that have existed in the past and looks for common patterns. They then make the guess that those patterns would be true in the situation or individual you are currently looking at.
This is how profiling works.
If you look at most of the stories of love and romance involving the Knights of the Round Table or a samurai, then you will find that the pattern is that most of those stories are tragic in nature. Following that pattern, one can reasonably assume that any love story involving Arthurian knights or samurai will result in a sad ending somehow.
Inference, however, is not one hundred percent accurate. As stated, it operates based on information about similar situations, not the situation that is in front of you currently. It will often be correct, especially if the information leading up to the inference is up to date.
A good example of inferential failure comes from a TV movie where Sherlock Holmes wakes up after being preserved for a hundred years. He tries to prove his skill in deduction (actually inference) by looking around the room and making guesses based on various things he sees around the room. However, his framework of understanding is so far out of date that he is fairly inaccurate and in fact makes a statement that we would consider racially bigoted that was not a cliche in his original time.
Inferences are in essence guidelines for understanding a situation. Profiles again are the same thing, they are a broad range of traits and behaviors that statistically match together. Another comparison is the search areas defined on maps. The more elements you know of, the smaller an area you have to focus on.
In the same case, stereotypes narrow down a character, defining them so that the readers can understand them.
If you have only one stereotype to deal with, you have a huge range of a characters that fit that stereotype and thus the character resembles a large number of other characters. They are bland and boring, not because they are over-defined, but because they are underdefined.
A more unique character fits a large number of stereotypes and with each trope, stereotype and archetype you add, the narrower and more unique the character appears and the more interesting.
In addition, stereotypes give you a guideline to understand what a reader will expect from a specific character, and when you know what the reader expects, you can have an easier time leading them to specific conclusions.
In addition, it allows you to mix concepts that usually aren't seen mixed. When you do that, you force a reader to think harder about a character in order to find the place where those two concepts intersect.
For example, Runya Sulemar from the Greenwater is first introduced in one of the prologues (and thus not posted for view here). I initially describe her in the process of performing a ritual cleansing and establishing her as a lost, young and religious person. I only reveal that she is serpentile from the waist down after establishing her as a holy and faithful person.
In this case, I have presented two stereotypes that normally conflict with each other: snakes and holy knights.
There is a narrow intersection where that works, involving Asian style concepts on the snake: guardianship and wisdom, both of which fit in well with the concepts of the holy warrior. When I later show Runya using stealthy tactics and attacking from silence to eliminate enemies before they notice her, that fits in with the tactics of a snake. As such, even though it is not normal for a paladin-style character to stab someone in the back, it is acceptable for her since she's established as a snake earlier.
Another example, Lucretia from Bystander is superstrong, supertough and with super-reflexes. Normally, that would also mean that she is good in a fight, however, Lucretia is worthless in a fight. I essentially apply to her the stereotype of an untrained street kid who spends most of their time running and talking tough but with no real fighting skills.
Again, two conflicting stereotypes with a very narrow space of intersection.
Take a look at any character sheet on TVtropes.org and you will find that a lot of characters fit a large number of tropes. The more unique the character, the more tropes and stereotypes they fit within.
Despite this, the readership will generally define your characters only on one or two of the most obvious stereotypes, or else insist that they don't fit the normal stereotypes. However, they will still at least subconsciously expect the characters to follow the standard patterns of the connected stereotypes.
This means that if you understand the standard patterns, you can deviate from them at appropriate points to make the readers pay more attention to what is going on.
Bystander
Greenwater Part One: Leaving Home
Greenwater Part 2: Setting the Board
Divine Blood Short Story Project Status
Okay, here's the status page for the Divine Blood Short Story book
Title: undetermined have some ideas
Art: have some portraits coming in from http://hellsama.deviantart.com but no cover
Note: Hellsama has not given me any art and has ceased answering my notes. I'm starting to assume the money paid to this artist is lost.
Focus Characters: Purpose
Gaetana and Damir: How they met, some world history
Issa and Hel: some basic interaction, shopping
Lilitu: Reporting in, getting some medical attention, getting assignment
Minaba: Minaba's fun to write...end purpose
Amber and Karl: School politics stuff, probably have some cameos
Eija, Yooji and Damir: play with that triangle going on
Naiki and Mao: Apologizing to the bullies
Mao: meeting Mao's client finally
Eowyn and Mao: show their attitudes a bit
Deimosu - rivals and the harem
Jason and Minaba: Random hi-jinks fun, maybe have Jason actually turn into a wolf
The Charites: Meet Thalia's sisters, show what Heralds do
Whelan and Darrin: Compare attitudes
Naiki and Yooji: Naiki tries to challenge Yooji
The Tinia Royal Guard: where did they escape to
Deimosu and Eija: exploring that relationship
count:
Eija: 2
Yooji: 2
Deimosu: 2
Damir: 2
Naiki: 2
Minaba: 2
Mao: 3
Eowyn: 1
Amber: 1
Karl: 1
Darrin: 1
Whelan: 1
The Charites: 1
The Tinia: 1
Jason: 1
Issa: 1
Hel: 1
Gaetana: 1
Total stories: 16
Expected story size: 8k to 10k
Expected book size: 128k to 160k
Divine Blood: Semester Start
Title: undetermined have some ideas
Art: have some portraits coming in from http://hellsama.deviantart.com but no cover
Note: Hellsama has not given me any art and has ceased answering my notes. I'm starting to assume the money paid to this artist is lost.
Focus Characters: Purpose
Gaetana and Damir: How they met, some world history
Issa and Hel: some basic interaction, shopping
Lilitu: Reporting in, getting some medical attention, getting assignment
Minaba: Minaba's fun to write...end purpose
Amber and Karl: School politics stuff, probably have some cameos
Eija, Yooji and Damir: play with that triangle going on
Naiki and Mao: Apologizing to the bullies
Mao: meeting Mao's client finally
Eowyn and Mao: show their attitudes a bit
Deimosu - rivals and the harem
Jason and Minaba: Random hi-jinks fun, maybe have Jason actually turn into a wolf
The Charites: Meet Thalia's sisters, show what Heralds do
Whelan and Darrin: Compare attitudes
Naiki and Yooji: Naiki tries to challenge Yooji
The Tinia Royal Guard: where did they escape to
Deimosu and Eija: exploring that relationship
count:
Eija: 2
Yooji: 2
Deimosu: 2
Damir: 2
Naiki: 2
Minaba: 2
Mao: 3
Eowyn: 1
Amber: 1
Karl: 1
Darrin: 1
Whelan: 1
The Charites: 1
The Tinia: 1
Jason: 1
Issa: 1
Hel: 1
Gaetana: 1
Total stories: 16
Expected story size: 8k to 10k
Expected book size: 128k to 160k
Divine Blood: Semester Start
Haunted Bystander Project Status
Cover art is done: http://fav.me/d3k58ue
Word count plan: 65k-75k words
for planning's sake, using the three-act model in Divine Blood
for consistency's sake, they won't be split into Act I, II and III in the actual print.
Haunted Bystander is Book 2 of Phase 1 in what should be the Bystander saga
Act I 25k words - 6k to 10k chapters
Chapter 1 1.5k written
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Act II 25k words - 6k to 10k chapters
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Act III 25k words - 6k to 10k chapters
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
epilogue
**************************
Note: James P Walker will be showing up as a character in Haunted Bystander thanks to backing the Divine Blood Role-Playing Game Project...I plan to hold to that regardless of whether the plan succeeds.
See here for more information on the Divine Blood RPG project and what you can do to help it: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1...
Bystander
Word count plan: 65k-75k words
for planning's sake, using the three-act model in Divine Blood
for consistency's sake, they won't be split into Act I, II and III in the actual print.
Haunted Bystander is Book 2 of Phase 1 in what should be the Bystander saga
Act I 25k words - 6k to 10k chapters
Chapter 1 1.5k written
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Act II 25k words - 6k to 10k chapters
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Act III 25k words - 6k to 10k chapters
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
epilogue
**************************
Note: James P Walker will be showing up as a character in Haunted Bystander thanks to backing the Divine Blood Role-Playing Game Project...I plan to hold to that regardless of whether the plan succeeds.
See here for more information on the Divine Blood RPG project and what you can do to help it: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1...
Bystander
Greenwater Part 3 Project Status
Okay, this is the status blog for my writing of Greenwater Part 3
5-Pa - Written
5-Pb - Written, pushed to 5-1, needs to be extended to match other chapters
merged 5-pa and 5-pb into 5-1
Chapter 5-1, pushed to 5-2 - Written
Chapter 5-2, pushed to 5-3 - Written
Chapter 5-3, pushed to 5-4 - Written
Chapter 5-4, pushed to 6-1 - started
Chapter 6-p - started
Chapter 6-2, to be started
Chapter 6-3, to be started
Chapter 6-4, to be started
I actually have more of this written than I thought I did.
The cover I plan to use for this is here:
http://fav.me/d143twd
I eventually plan to get all new covers for all four books (including the planned but unwritten fourth), but for now I am using the four pieces of Greenwater art that I already have.
A snippet of the previous prologue which will be expanded to a full chapter is found here:
http://fav.me/d4jmvjv
Greenwater Part One: Leaving Home
Greenwater Part 2: Setting the Board
5-Pa - Written
5-Pb - Written, pushed to 5-1, needs to be extended to match other chapters
merged 5-pa and 5-pb into 5-1
Chapter 5-1, pushed to 5-2 - Written
Chapter 5-2, pushed to 5-3 - Written
Chapter 5-3, pushed to 5-4 - Written
Chapter 5-4, pushed to 6-1 - started
Chapter 6-p - started
Chapter 6-2, to be started
Chapter 6-3, to be started
Chapter 6-4, to be started
I actually have more of this written than I thought I did.
The cover I plan to use for this is here:
http://fav.me/d143twd
I eventually plan to get all new covers for all four books (including the planned but unwritten fourth), but for now I am using the four pieces of Greenwater art that I already have.
A snippet of the previous prologue which will be expanded to a full chapter is found here:
http://fav.me/d4jmvjv
Greenwater Part One: Leaving Home
Greenwater Part 2: Setting the Board
Divine Blood RPG Project Status
The Divine Blood RPG project is to make an RP supplement for people desiring to play in the world of Divine Blood. The status is as follows:
The kickstarter has earned $186/$1000
Go here for the kickstarter: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1...
**************************************************
Chapter 1 Intro:
Welcome to the Party: basic introduction. Finished
Timeline. Partially Finished
Partial List of Influences. Partially Finished.
Truisms of the Divine Blood World: concepts I write with. Finished
Actors on the Stage: summary of main players in the world. Finished
except for Britain, Britain isn't a big enough bad guy to make it in the intro.
Too bad Britain. Yes, I see you there.
As Things Stand: summary of current situation. Finished
*************************************
Nations:
The Free World. Finished
The United States. Finished
Australia. Finished
The North Africa Alliance. Finished
The Cultural Republic of Chinese and Mongolian Peoples.
The "Bad Guys"
The Empire of Myanmar. Expansionist Empire. Finished
Brazil. Leftover Nazis. Finished
Warsaw Pact. Anarchy and nuclear weapons Finished
The Immortal nations
Nirvana. Domain of the Gods Finished
Yomi. Realm of the Demons
The Other Places
Britain and Western Europe
East Asia
Central and South Africa
Central and North America
South America
******************************************
Organizations:
Avalon. Pragmatic Application of Morality
Balor Cult. Cult of Personality with a Demonic serial killer at the center.
Eyes of Ra. Divine Law Enforcement and Intelligence
Faustians. Demonic Deal Makers
Heralds. Messengers from Heaven
House Tinia. A Divine Crime Family
Path of the Golden Dawn. Seekers of Power
Psyche. Supernatural Temp Agency
Shadows. Demonic Spies and Cops
*******************************************
Threats
Ghosts
Nameless Things
Nuclear Weapons
Rogue Gods and Demons
Terrorists
Undead
********************************************
Psychic Powers
Classifications
Manipulative: Control the physical world around you
Metabolic: Control your own body
Sensitive: Extrasensory perception and mind control
Types
Channeling: Trainable, raw use of life force for swift blatant effect.
Shaping: Trainable, careful use of life force for more subtle, long-lasting effect.
Inborn: Specific abilities such as creation or control of fire, acquired by birth only.
Innate: Specific abilities tied to the combination of body, soul and mind.
Akira
Examples:
Death-Seer
Electrokinesis
Firestarter
Shapeshifting
Superstrength
******************************************
Magic:
The borrowing of a God's or Demon's Inborn (but not Innate) powers
Black Magic: Calling upon the Demons and Dark Gods
White Magic: Calling upon the Gods and Holy Demons
******************************************
Nonhumans
Mimics:
Changelings/"Cuckoos". Look human when born, change later
Blends. Human on first glance.
Shapeshifters. Change form.
Hybrids. Clearly non-human features.
Necrotics. Descendants of those that survived the Undead.
Wolfen. Drafted.
Vampyr
Aquatic/"Deep One"
Therianthrope
Gods
Demons
*****************************************
Technology
General Tech-Level
Crystals: Human psychic tools
Familiars: Demonic weapons and equipment
Familiar Companions: Demonic Pets
Runes: Divine weapons and equipment
Rune-Trees: Divine plants
Uprights: Pilotable Giant Robots
*****************************************
Campaigns
Agents and Terrorists Campaign
Battlefield Campaign
Exorcists and Monsters Campaign
Gods and Demons Campaign
Slice of Life Campaign
*****************************************
Systems
to be included in the campaign guide: rules for using Strands of Fate
Character Creation: Drafted.
Individual Powers: Drafted.
Power Packages: to be done
Example characters: to be done
**********************************
**********************************
Kickstarter rewards available:
$3 Electronic Copy of the Game upon release unlimited available
$3 Electronic Copy of the Novel upon funding unlimited available
$5 Choose name for a Burmese conventional military vehicle: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a Burmese upright/mecha: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a Brazilian conventional military vehicle: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a Brazilian upright/mecha: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a Warsaw conventional military vehicle: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a Warsaw upright/mecha: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a US conventional military vehicle: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a US upright/mecha: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a Australian conventional military vehicle: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a Australian upright/mecha: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a CRCMP/Free China conventional military vehicle: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a CRCMP/Free China upright/mecha: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a NAA/Egypt conventional military vehicle: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a NAA/Egypt upright/mecha: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose a non-human race to be included: 8 of 10 available
$5 Choose a name and personality for a "Precious Puppy" unlimited available
$5 Be someone who dies in a future Divine Blood novel 10 of 10 available
$10 Choose an Arthurian code name for one of Avalon's "Seats" 3 of 3 available
$10 Choose the power associated with one of Psyche's secretaries 3 of 3 available
$20 A copy of any book I've previously published unlimited available
$20 Be a character in Haunted Bystander Sold Out
$20 Hardcopy of the game after the playtesting is done unlimited available
$30 Be a faculty member in Bravura Academy 2 of 3 available
$50 Be first-wave gamemaster in the playtest 3 of 3 available
$80 my services as a ghost writer on a short story of your ideas 3 of 3 available
$2000 my services as a ghost writer on a novel of your ideas (prior contracts take precedence) 1 of 1 availableDivine Blood: Semester Start
The kickstarter has earned $186/$1000
Go here for the kickstarter: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1...
**************************************************
Chapter 1 Intro:
Welcome to the Party: basic introduction. Finished
Timeline. Partially Finished
Partial List of Influences. Partially Finished.
Truisms of the Divine Blood World: concepts I write with. Finished
Actors on the Stage: summary of main players in the world. Finished
except for Britain, Britain isn't a big enough bad guy to make it in the intro.
Too bad Britain. Yes, I see you there.
As Things Stand: summary of current situation. Finished
*************************************
Nations:
The Free World. Finished
The United States. Finished
Australia. Finished
The North Africa Alliance. Finished
The Cultural Republic of Chinese and Mongolian Peoples.
The "Bad Guys"
The Empire of Myanmar. Expansionist Empire. Finished
Brazil. Leftover Nazis. Finished
Warsaw Pact. Anarchy and nuclear weapons Finished
The Immortal nations
Nirvana. Domain of the Gods Finished
Yomi. Realm of the Demons
The Other Places
Britain and Western Europe
East Asia
Central and South Africa
Central and North America
South America
******************************************
Organizations:
Avalon. Pragmatic Application of Morality
Balor Cult. Cult of Personality with a Demonic serial killer at the center.
Eyes of Ra. Divine Law Enforcement and Intelligence
Faustians. Demonic Deal Makers
Heralds. Messengers from Heaven
House Tinia. A Divine Crime Family
Path of the Golden Dawn. Seekers of Power
Psyche. Supernatural Temp Agency
Shadows. Demonic Spies and Cops
*******************************************
Threats
Ghosts
Nameless Things
Nuclear Weapons
Rogue Gods and Demons
Terrorists
Undead
********************************************
Psychic Powers
Classifications
Manipulative: Control the physical world around you
Metabolic: Control your own body
Sensitive: Extrasensory perception and mind control
Types
Channeling: Trainable, raw use of life force for swift blatant effect.
Shaping: Trainable, careful use of life force for more subtle, long-lasting effect.
Inborn: Specific abilities such as creation or control of fire, acquired by birth only.
Innate: Specific abilities tied to the combination of body, soul and mind.
Akira
Examples:
Death-Seer
Electrokinesis
Firestarter
Shapeshifting
Superstrength
******************************************
Magic:
The borrowing of a God's or Demon's Inborn (but not Innate) powers
Black Magic: Calling upon the Demons and Dark Gods
White Magic: Calling upon the Gods and Holy Demons
******************************************
Nonhumans
Mimics:
Changelings/"Cuckoos". Look human when born, change later
Blends. Human on first glance.
Shapeshifters. Change form.
Hybrids. Clearly non-human features.
Necrotics. Descendants of those that survived the Undead.
Wolfen. Drafted.
Vampyr
Aquatic/"Deep One"
Therianthrope
Gods
Demons
*****************************************
Technology
General Tech-Level
Crystals: Human psychic tools
Familiars: Demonic weapons and equipment
Familiar Companions: Demonic Pets
Runes: Divine weapons and equipment
Rune-Trees: Divine plants
Uprights: Pilotable Giant Robots
*****************************************
Campaigns
Agents and Terrorists Campaign
Battlefield Campaign
Exorcists and Monsters Campaign
Gods and Demons Campaign
Slice of Life Campaign
*****************************************
Systems
to be included in the campaign guide: rules for using Strands of Fate
Character Creation: Drafted.
Individual Powers: Drafted.
Power Packages: to be done
Example characters: to be done
**********************************
**********************************
Kickstarter rewards available:
$3 Electronic Copy of the Game upon release unlimited available
$3 Electronic Copy of the Novel upon funding unlimited available
$5 Choose name for a Burmese conventional military vehicle: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a Burmese upright/mecha: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a Brazilian conventional military vehicle: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a Brazilian upright/mecha: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a Warsaw conventional military vehicle: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a Warsaw upright/mecha: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a US conventional military vehicle: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a US upright/mecha: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a Australian conventional military vehicle: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a Australian upright/mecha: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a CRCMP/Free China conventional military vehicle: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a CRCMP/Free China upright/mecha: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a NAA/Egypt conventional military vehicle: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose name for a NAA/Egypt upright/mecha: 5 of 5 available
$5 Choose a non-human race to be included: 8 of 10 available
$5 Choose a name and personality for a "Precious Puppy" unlimited available
$5 Be someone who dies in a future Divine Blood novel 10 of 10 available
$10 Choose an Arthurian code name for one of Avalon's "Seats" 3 of 3 available
$10 Choose the power associated with one of Psyche's secretaries 3 of 3 available
$20 A copy of any book I've previously published unlimited available
$20 Be a character in Haunted Bystander Sold Out
$20 Hardcopy of the game after the playtesting is done unlimited available
$30 Be a faculty member in Bravura Academy 2 of 3 available
$50 Be first-wave gamemaster in the playtest 3 of 3 available
$80 my services as a ghost writer on a short story of your ideas 3 of 3 available
$2000 my services as a ghost writer on a novel of your ideas (prior contracts take precedence) 1 of 1 availableDivine Blood: Semester Start
Follow the rules until you make them
Writing is one of those things where there are numerous rules put out by a variety of different people. Some of the rules sound very specific, others are very broad. Depending on which authors or editors whose advice you read, they can even be contradictory. When you start out, you don't know any of these rules except some basic ideas of sequencing and he said/she said. As you progress, you learn more and more rules to follow.
Follow those rules until you can make them.
That sounds rather strange, and I'm aware of that, but it really is the case and the reasoning is very simple. It is very analogous to the instructions to little kids to "color within the lines."
The rules from the writers that come before you are basically simplified versions of procedures and advice those other writers have discovered for themselves.
When you first start out, you don't have much understanding of why you should. As far as you know, it's just an arbitrary rule that was put into place for no particular reason. This causes a very high temptation for to see the rules as a meaningless limitation that exists because the people that made them only accept a narrow-minded view of what is and is not "good" literature. You'll feel very tempted to say that a particular choice is not a mistake but really a function of your style.
However, those rules do exist for reasons and simply breaking them for the sake of breaking them is not a function of style unless you understand the reason the rule exists to begin with.
Most writing rules have to do with the impression given most readers when you break or follow a rule.
For example "never begin the sentence with 'And'" which is something I sometimes do a little bit too much.
Most of the time, if you see "and" starting a sentence it has an amateurish feel to it. Basically, it seems as if you forgot to say something and so are now trying to shoehorn the statement in. A number of readers will get annoyed or turned off by this.
It distracts from your story when people are turned off by a word choice or grammar issue. When the reader stops looking at your story and starts looking at the technique and grammar instead, you have a problem.
He walked to the store. And then he bought the milk. And then it rained. And then he got lost.
However, "and" can sometimes be used with a sentence in order to give an impression of an after thought or frustration. The same sequence above, with some basic flavoring text can be made acceptable.
The young man walked to the store to buy the milk. And, joy of joys, it started raining while he was in the story. And that, of course, made him get lost on the way home. And that was the start of a very bad day.
And now it sounds like the narrator is irritated and rolling their eyes and shaking their head in frustration. The implication that something was forgotten is still there, but you are now making use of it for the narrator's character rather than actually suffering from it. Though this example would still need polishing to be really acceptable.
Also note that the "and" above gives the beginning of that paragraph the character of a sweeping conclusion to a sequence.
As I said, the temptation is to not follow the rules because you don't understand them and it feels restrictive. However, the truth of the matter is that you follow the rules BECAUSE you don't understand them.
Once you understand the rules, for the most part you'll find yourself following them because, lo and behold, most of the time they work better. However, at about this time, you will start discovering truisms that you never were told before. As you come to understand the rules, you will start to see more rules. This is basically what happens as your sense for reader response becomes more attuned.
You start making your own rules.
Once you've gotten to this stage, you'll know that the rules of writing put out by most people are basically advice that's true probably 90% of the time, to throw out an arbitrarily chosen statistic.
And when you come to know that, you'll come to know when the rule can be broken without breaking your story.
Note that the above "and" beginning the sentence gives that the character of a private aside to the reader, as if the narrator leaned over and whispered something on the sly.
Follow those rules until you can make them.
That sounds rather strange, and I'm aware of that, but it really is the case and the reasoning is very simple. It is very analogous to the instructions to little kids to "color within the lines."
The rules from the writers that come before you are basically simplified versions of procedures and advice those other writers have discovered for themselves.
When you first start out, you don't have much understanding of why you should. As far as you know, it's just an arbitrary rule that was put into place for no particular reason. This causes a very high temptation for to see the rules as a meaningless limitation that exists because the people that made them only accept a narrow-minded view of what is and is not "good" literature. You'll feel very tempted to say that a particular choice is not a mistake but really a function of your style.
However, those rules do exist for reasons and simply breaking them for the sake of breaking them is not a function of style unless you understand the reason the rule exists to begin with.
Most writing rules have to do with the impression given most readers when you break or follow a rule.
For example "never begin the sentence with 'And'" which is something I sometimes do a little bit too much.
Most of the time, if you see "and" starting a sentence it has an amateurish feel to it. Basically, it seems as if you forgot to say something and so are now trying to shoehorn the statement in. A number of readers will get annoyed or turned off by this.
It distracts from your story when people are turned off by a word choice or grammar issue. When the reader stops looking at your story and starts looking at the technique and grammar instead, you have a problem.
He walked to the store. And then he bought the milk. And then it rained. And then he got lost.
However, "and" can sometimes be used with a sentence in order to give an impression of an after thought or frustration. The same sequence above, with some basic flavoring text can be made acceptable.
The young man walked to the store to buy the milk. And, joy of joys, it started raining while he was in the story. And that, of course, made him get lost on the way home. And that was the start of a very bad day.
And now it sounds like the narrator is irritated and rolling their eyes and shaking their head in frustration. The implication that something was forgotten is still there, but you are now making use of it for the narrator's character rather than actually suffering from it. Though this example would still need polishing to be really acceptable.
Also note that the "and" above gives the beginning of that paragraph the character of a sweeping conclusion to a sequence.
As I said, the temptation is to not follow the rules because you don't understand them and it feels restrictive. However, the truth of the matter is that you follow the rules BECAUSE you don't understand them.
Once you understand the rules, for the most part you'll find yourself following them because, lo and behold, most of the time they work better. However, at about this time, you will start discovering truisms that you never were told before. As you come to understand the rules, you will start to see more rules. This is basically what happens as your sense for reader response becomes more attuned.
You start making your own rules.
Once you've gotten to this stage, you'll know that the rules of writing put out by most people are basically advice that's true probably 90% of the time, to throw out an arbitrarily chosen statistic.
And when you come to know that, you'll come to know when the rule can be broken without breaking your story.
Note that the above "and" beginning the sentence gives that the character of a private aside to the reader, as if the narrator leaned over and whispered something on the sly.
Three Paragraphs of Fiction - Dialogue
The third sort of paragraph necessary to writing fiction is dialogue.
Dialogue is a strange and fragile thing. Except in a few instances, it can't quite stand on its own. There needs to be a little bit of action or dsecription in order to at the very least identify who is speaking. However, too much of either will bury the voice of the character under the voice of the narrator.
Human speech in reality is a cluttered, impromptu and often imprecise. We speak in half-sentences. We walk over each other's words and complete each other's thoughts, sometimes incorrectly.
Compare the dialogue in a TV drama with the dialogue on something akin to the Jerry Springer Show. Or a documentary to a cinematic movie.
The professional actors speak slower than we do naturally and enunciate clearer. They appear to interrupt each other, but in reality, those interruptions are carefully practiced to make sure the character being interrupted gets out the point that the story needs her to. Even people that stutter do so in a way that makes it more or less clear as to what they are trying to say.
In real life, people speak much faster and are often muttering or otherwise speaking unclearly. Interruptions run over the other speaker carelessly or purposefully and often make it hard to understand either person. Accents and speech impediments are much more apparent and problematic.
It is pretty much the same in writing. In some cases an author will want to phonetically write out the dialect or accent of a character, but except in cases where the author wants to make the character's meaning unreadable, the actually accent is toned down so that the words are understandable. In most cases, the accent is only described in the narrative.
Even if two characters are talking over each other, their words are clearly written out for the reader, or at least as much as the writer feels they need to know. In the story, the character's might have trouble understanding each other in the clutter of sounds, but the reader is spared that.
Also, in some cases, dialogue seems to take no time at all to happen. If an author wants a particular point to be made in the middle of a scene, even if something time-dependent is happening during the speech, the author essentially hits a pause button so that the story-relevant points can be made between the characters.
Dialogue falls between action and description on rhythm and overlaps with both of them. In some cases dialogue is short, single syyllable exclamations. In other cases, they're long, slow and sonorous lectures or monologues.
Dialogue is not really separated on anything uniform except where the person speaking changes. When a speaker changes, the paragraph changes and that is almost always a given. If you put two separate characters speaking on the same line of a page, then the readers will get somewhat confused as to who is saying what. If that is your intention, then fine. However, it will stop the pace of reading for many people and make them stop and try to figure out what is going on.
However, when you have one particular character speaking for a long time, you might want to break up their dialogue before someone else takes over speaking.
If you want to show case someone who rambles on and on without pausing for breath except rarely, then you are likely to only separate out dialogue when that speaker is stopped in their speech, or else the narrative lets them run on without highlighting specific words any longer.
If you want to address the urgency of a situation, you will tend to stop most of your dialogue with short single sentences and sometimes not even that much. This emphasizes that the characters are too busy to both form and express complex thoughts.
For my part, I like to separate the paragraphs at the point I envision a character taking a breath, if I have one person taling for an extended time. I will break up the monologue with descriptive and action paragraphs to show the speakers expression or small gestures as he talks, and spread out the dialogue between those paragraphs.
If you feel that the narrative voice needs to have more than half a sentence that is basically just an identifier for who is talking and their tone of voice, then I usually try to split that off into a new paragraph and come back to the dialogue afterwards.
Think of the narrative as another character, even if it is third person. You don't want two characters speaking at the same time in the same paragraph. It confuses the reader and muddles a lot of the personality of the speaking character.
That is what I meant by dialogue being fragile. If you try to combine it with too much of the narrative, then the words of the character are lost. Even if the reader knows what they are, they're buried under the Narrator's accompanying explanation. Separating out the narration from the dialogue lets the reader "chunk" the information of one paragraph and keep it separate from the rest.
Dialogue is very useful in a story as it lets the author give information and make points without relying on the narrator's voice to do it all. There are certainly stories that are told entirely by the narrator, with no real specific dialogue, but dialogue allows the personality of the character to shine through.
Word choice and grammar structure are very important tools to defining the way a character thinks.
Think of the malapropisms in Shakespeare plays were a foolish character will use long and impressive sounding words, but do so in such a way that they quite clearly have no understanding of what the words mean or how they are supposed to be used. Or think of the worldly wise cowboy in Westerns who express complex thoughts and philosophies with simple, small words carefully chosen. Or the nerd who uses impressively technical jargon and describes things very exactly or precisely.
Providing the reader with information and glimpses at the speaker's personality, those are the main purposes for dialogue in a story.
Dialogue is a strange and fragile thing. Except in a few instances, it can't quite stand on its own. There needs to be a little bit of action or dsecription in order to at the very least identify who is speaking. However, too much of either will bury the voice of the character under the voice of the narrator.
Human speech in reality is a cluttered, impromptu and often imprecise. We speak in half-sentences. We walk over each other's words and complete each other's thoughts, sometimes incorrectly.
Compare the dialogue in a TV drama with the dialogue on something akin to the Jerry Springer Show. Or a documentary to a cinematic movie.
The professional actors speak slower than we do naturally and enunciate clearer. They appear to interrupt each other, but in reality, those interruptions are carefully practiced to make sure the character being interrupted gets out the point that the story needs her to. Even people that stutter do so in a way that makes it more or less clear as to what they are trying to say.
In real life, people speak much faster and are often muttering or otherwise speaking unclearly. Interruptions run over the other speaker carelessly or purposefully and often make it hard to understand either person. Accents and speech impediments are much more apparent and problematic.
It is pretty much the same in writing. In some cases an author will want to phonetically write out the dialect or accent of a character, but except in cases where the author wants to make the character's meaning unreadable, the actually accent is toned down so that the words are understandable. In most cases, the accent is only described in the narrative.
Even if two characters are talking over each other, their words are clearly written out for the reader, or at least as much as the writer feels they need to know. In the story, the character's might have trouble understanding each other in the clutter of sounds, but the reader is spared that.
Also, in some cases, dialogue seems to take no time at all to happen. If an author wants a particular point to be made in the middle of a scene, even if something time-dependent is happening during the speech, the author essentially hits a pause button so that the story-relevant points can be made between the characters.
Dialogue falls between action and description on rhythm and overlaps with both of them. In some cases dialogue is short, single syyllable exclamations. In other cases, they're long, slow and sonorous lectures or monologues.
Dialogue is not really separated on anything uniform except where the person speaking changes. When a speaker changes, the paragraph changes and that is almost always a given. If you put two separate characters speaking on the same line of a page, then the readers will get somewhat confused as to who is saying what. If that is your intention, then fine. However, it will stop the pace of reading for many people and make them stop and try to figure out what is going on.
However, when you have one particular character speaking for a long time, you might want to break up their dialogue before someone else takes over speaking.
If you want to show case someone who rambles on and on without pausing for breath except rarely, then you are likely to only separate out dialogue when that speaker is stopped in their speech, or else the narrative lets them run on without highlighting specific words any longer.
If you want to address the urgency of a situation, you will tend to stop most of your dialogue with short single sentences and sometimes not even that much. This emphasizes that the characters are too busy to both form and express complex thoughts.
For my part, I like to separate the paragraphs at the point I envision a character taking a breath, if I have one person taling for an extended time. I will break up the monologue with descriptive and action paragraphs to show the speakers expression or small gestures as he talks, and spread out the dialogue between those paragraphs.
If you feel that the narrative voice needs to have more than half a sentence that is basically just an identifier for who is talking and their tone of voice, then I usually try to split that off into a new paragraph and come back to the dialogue afterwards.
Think of the narrative as another character, even if it is third person. You don't want two characters speaking at the same time in the same paragraph. It confuses the reader and muddles a lot of the personality of the speaking character.
That is what I meant by dialogue being fragile. If you try to combine it with too much of the narrative, then the words of the character are lost. Even if the reader knows what they are, they're buried under the Narrator's accompanying explanation. Separating out the narration from the dialogue lets the reader "chunk" the information of one paragraph and keep it separate from the rest.
Dialogue is very useful in a story as it lets the author give information and make points without relying on the narrator's voice to do it all. There are certainly stories that are told entirely by the narrator, with no real specific dialogue, but dialogue allows the personality of the character to shine through.
Word choice and grammar structure are very important tools to defining the way a character thinks.
Think of the malapropisms in Shakespeare plays were a foolish character will use long and impressive sounding words, but do so in such a way that they quite clearly have no understanding of what the words mean or how they are supposed to be used. Or think of the worldly wise cowboy in Westerns who express complex thoughts and philosophies with simple, small words carefully chosen. Or the nerd who uses impressively technical jargon and describes things very exactly or precisely.
Providing the reader with information and glimpses at the speaker's personality, those are the main purposes for dialogue in a story.
Characters have many names
In the course of a story you are going to refer to each character several times, however, you do not want to be repeated "Luke said" or "Luke wrote" or "Luke did whatever" over and over again. The repetition of the name would get grating on the reader and it has the character of an inexpert speaker.
Think about how people talk in real life. When we encounter someone that simply repeats the name over and over again when labeling who is doing what, we get irritated at hearing "Luke", or whatever name is being used, incessantly. It becomes like a drum beat where we can mark the time by the use of that name.
Some times you want to give that impression of the same word repeated over and over again as it can add to tension in some cases. However, used too often and it simply becomes annoying.
English has a built in solution for this problem in the form of pronouns, but even in that case, you've switched from one distinctive beating sound to two. Instead of beating the same drum over and over, you're now switching between two drums, or, more likely, you'll beat one drum frequently and occasionally switch over to the other at dramatic points.
In that case the drum beat sounds like "Luke he he he he he Luke he he he he he Luke he he he he he..." and so on.
The solution is simply: you need to give the characters, especially important characters, more than the one name.
By this, I don't simply mean to give the same character a bunch of given names, but that each character should have several short descriptive phrases that specifically meant to indicate them.
These names can come from different combinations of their given name, based on occupation, descriptive phrases, titles, nicknames given to them by other characters or anything else.
Let's look at Lucretia from Bystander. The following phrases are used to describe Lucretia in the first book, though in some cases only once or twice.
Lucretia, Lu, parolee peak, silver-haired peak, silver-haired young woman, librarian, ex-con, bystander, Kimono, young peak, older peak and the hostess.
In addition, her variety of names give me some quick ways to remind my readers of parts of her character in the course of the story. This reminder can be either appropriate or inappropriate to the situation.
For example, I might want to suddenly remind the reader in the middle of a sequence that Lucretia's day job is that of a librarian. If I use this while she's fighting or running for her life in some sort of fight or crisis, then it instantly places the image of her shelving books on top of the current scene. That's a somewhat disjointed image that makes for a bit of amusement on the part of the reader.
Of course, the action-librarian has become something of a common trope of late, so it doesn't any longer have the sort of impact it used to.
Occupational names have some problem when you are dealing with characters who share occupations. Looking back at Bystander again, I often use "the mercenary" to describe Robles, Kali and their underlings. However, names have to be exclusive to a particular character within the scene. If I call Jason "the mercenary" then I cannot also use that term for anybody else in the same scene or else I risk confusing identities.
In Bystander's case, I simply shift to other titles. Kali or Robles can both become "ex-goddess", Sightseer is the "sniper" and Isaiah is the "drone master". When Kali and Robles are in the same scene, then I could have refered to them as the "templar goddess" and the "ascended goddess" respectively, however, the need did not present itself, so that might come later.
Also note which names each character uses for each other.
Lucretia calls most people by their last names if she knows it. However, she often calls Robles "Sergeant" the way the others do and she calls Novac "the Old Man", also like the other mercenaries do. She calls Sightseer by his given first name, "Eldon" however. All three of these exceptions are indicative of how she feels about the characters. Robles and Novac are rather parental figures, while she wants to be closer to Sightseer.
Also note that most of the people who are friendly with Lucretia end up calling her "Lu" rather than Lucretia. The villains refer to her by names meant to objectify her such as "bystander" and "Kimono".
Of more note is the exchange between Kali and Robles when the latter reveals her presence to the former. Kali refers to Robles by her codename, "Tlazolteotl", while Robles calls Kali by her rank and family name, "Sergeant Jasthi."
This shows that Kali has become more than a little unhinged by what she has been facing since becoming a goddess and has started to associate with the implications of the codename and abandoning her old name. Robles, meanwhile, is still firmly grounded in reality and her normal, birth identity. There use of the others' unprefered names shows an attempt by each to impose their paradigm of thought on the other.
Kali is identifying Robles as a goddess, a mythical figure, while Robles is reminding Kali that they're just people.
Note that the more important a character, the more names and labels that they are likely to have. However, also note that the number of names increases when you have the same character being described from multiple different perspectives.
Lucretia is not only the main character of the story, she is the title character. The world revolves around her from a literary point of view, other things are going on in the world, but the story focuses on the things that affect her.
Bystander shows the perspectives of several different people and how they view her. She is described alternately by herself, Robles, Grant, Sightseer, Novac, Kali, Jason, Isaiah, Det Assaf and Det Park. Since each of these characters sees her slightly different, they each use different terms when referring to her and thus a multitude of names are born.
By comparison, the Greenwater novels are mostly told from the perspectives of Tennel Grimbeck and Runya Sulemar. In addition, the world is much less centered on these two than it is that they are somewhat placed at the center of it. As a result, the other characters, when they get their perspectives, are not so focused on the two main characters. As such, both characters have fewer names than Lucretia due to this more focused perspective in the story.
In the end, a simple drum beat pattern is okay for a short story with few characters, but the longer and more complex the story, the more notes you want to play with. You might end up with enough names where it is a better analogy to compare to a piano or xylophone, but do remember, that there is one name that you want to use for every scene that a character appears in.
Their given name. The name that most completely defines them in the terms of the story.
There are some reasons not to use a given name. If you want to conceal the identity of a person in a scene for a time, then it is a good idea not to use their names until you want them revealed. However, you'll want to have some clues as to who they are, and giving hints of a descriptive name is good for that.
Bystander
Greenwater Part One: Leaving Home
Greenwater Part 2: Setting the Board
Think about how people talk in real life. When we encounter someone that simply repeats the name over and over again when labeling who is doing what, we get irritated at hearing "Luke", or whatever name is being used, incessantly. It becomes like a drum beat where we can mark the time by the use of that name.
Some times you want to give that impression of the same word repeated over and over again as it can add to tension in some cases. However, used too often and it simply becomes annoying.
English has a built in solution for this problem in the form of pronouns, but even in that case, you've switched from one distinctive beating sound to two. Instead of beating the same drum over and over, you're now switching between two drums, or, more likely, you'll beat one drum frequently and occasionally switch over to the other at dramatic points.
In that case the drum beat sounds like "Luke he he he he he Luke he he he he he Luke he he he he he..." and so on.
The solution is simply: you need to give the characters, especially important characters, more than the one name.
By this, I don't simply mean to give the same character a bunch of given names, but that each character should have several short descriptive phrases that specifically meant to indicate them.
These names can come from different combinations of their given name, based on occupation, descriptive phrases, titles, nicknames given to them by other characters or anything else.
Let's look at Lucretia from Bystander. The following phrases are used to describe Lucretia in the first book, though in some cases only once or twice.
Lucretia, Lu, parolee peak, silver-haired peak, silver-haired young woman, librarian, ex-con, bystander, Kimono, young peak, older peak and the hostess.
In addition, her variety of names give me some quick ways to remind my readers of parts of her character in the course of the story. This reminder can be either appropriate or inappropriate to the situation.
For example, I might want to suddenly remind the reader in the middle of a sequence that Lucretia's day job is that of a librarian. If I use this while she's fighting or running for her life in some sort of fight or crisis, then it instantly places the image of her shelving books on top of the current scene. That's a somewhat disjointed image that makes for a bit of amusement on the part of the reader.
Of course, the action-librarian has become something of a common trope of late, so it doesn't any longer have the sort of impact it used to.
Occupational names have some problem when you are dealing with characters who share occupations. Looking back at Bystander again, I often use "the mercenary" to describe Robles, Kali and their underlings. However, names have to be exclusive to a particular character within the scene. If I call Jason "the mercenary" then I cannot also use that term for anybody else in the same scene or else I risk confusing identities.
In Bystander's case, I simply shift to other titles. Kali or Robles can both become "ex-goddess", Sightseer is the "sniper" and Isaiah is the "drone master". When Kali and Robles are in the same scene, then I could have refered to them as the "templar goddess" and the "ascended goddess" respectively, however, the need did not present itself, so that might come later.
Also note which names each character uses for each other.
Lucretia calls most people by their last names if she knows it. However, she often calls Robles "Sergeant" the way the others do and she calls Novac "the Old Man", also like the other mercenaries do. She calls Sightseer by his given first name, "Eldon" however. All three of these exceptions are indicative of how she feels about the characters. Robles and Novac are rather parental figures, while she wants to be closer to Sightseer.
Also note that most of the people who are friendly with Lucretia end up calling her "Lu" rather than Lucretia. The villains refer to her by names meant to objectify her such as "bystander" and "Kimono".
Of more note is the exchange between Kali and Robles when the latter reveals her presence to the former. Kali refers to Robles by her codename, "Tlazolteotl", while Robles calls Kali by her rank and family name, "Sergeant Jasthi."
This shows that Kali has become more than a little unhinged by what she has been facing since becoming a goddess and has started to associate with the implications of the codename and abandoning her old name. Robles, meanwhile, is still firmly grounded in reality and her normal, birth identity. There use of the others' unprefered names shows an attempt by each to impose their paradigm of thought on the other.
Kali is identifying Robles as a goddess, a mythical figure, while Robles is reminding Kali that they're just people.
Note that the more important a character, the more names and labels that they are likely to have. However, also note that the number of names increases when you have the same character being described from multiple different perspectives.
Lucretia is not only the main character of the story, she is the title character. The world revolves around her from a literary point of view, other things are going on in the world, but the story focuses on the things that affect her.
Bystander shows the perspectives of several different people and how they view her. She is described alternately by herself, Robles, Grant, Sightseer, Novac, Kali, Jason, Isaiah, Det Assaf and Det Park. Since each of these characters sees her slightly different, they each use different terms when referring to her and thus a multitude of names are born.
By comparison, the Greenwater novels are mostly told from the perspectives of Tennel Grimbeck and Runya Sulemar. In addition, the world is much less centered on these two than it is that they are somewhat placed at the center of it. As a result, the other characters, when they get their perspectives, are not so focused on the two main characters. As such, both characters have fewer names than Lucretia due to this more focused perspective in the story.
In the end, a simple drum beat pattern is okay for a short story with few characters, but the longer and more complex the story, the more notes you want to play with. You might end up with enough names where it is a better analogy to compare to a piano or xylophone, but do remember, that there is one name that you want to use for every scene that a character appears in.
Their given name. The name that most completely defines them in the terms of the story.
There are some reasons not to use a given name. If you want to conceal the identity of a person in a scene for a time, then it is a good idea not to use their names until you want them revealed. However, you'll want to have some clues as to who they are, and giving hints of a descriptive name is good for that.
Bystander
Greenwater Part One: Leaving Home
Greenwater Part 2: Setting the Board
