Kristen Lamb's Blog, page 87

Enemies of the Art Part 7–Failure to Focus

There is one failing that will undermine all our efforts, the inability to focus. Years ago, I was on the debate team. I loved debate and spent hours researching, building cases, writing cases, and learning all I could to be prepared.

Most of my nights were spent researching thick dusty law books in the downtown library. Yet, though this information and preparation helped, there was one tactic that worked every time, a mantra I lived by in competition. This move could take out the best cases from the best teams from the best schools.

If you cannot defeat them, distract them.

If I could redirect my opponent into focusing on non-issues and intellectual bunny-trails, then all I had left was to mop up in my final argument. Sounds pretty ruthless, but how did I learn this? By falling victim to it, myself .

Distraction Equals Death

All of us, when we decide to become professional authors, must pass through an apprenticeship phase. This is when we are reading fiction, dissecting craft books, attending conferences, writing, and building our skills. One skill that separates the amateur from the professional is the ability to focus.

Others will try to redirect us down fruitless bunny-trails. They will tell you writing isn’t a real job. They will tempt you with settling for day jobs with steady paychecks and 401Ks. Day jobs are great and so are 401Ks, but they must not be the goal, they must support the goal of being a professional author.

The Importance of Goals

Goals give us a place to focus. They also offer critical information about how to change our approach. My husband is on a military shooting team, and frequently we practice together. Whenever we have a new scope, we have to “sight-in” the rifle.

To do this, we set up paper targets. Fire a couple rounds, see where it hits. Is it high? Low? To the left? The right? By seeing where we are NOT hitting, we can then use that information to adjust.

This past weekend, my husband set up small metal targets so I could practice with the pistol (and I haven’t shot in months). I couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn when normally I am very accurate. At first, I didn’t understand what was going wrong. Then I realized that I always warm up using a paper target.

Though I can see without glasses, I have just enough of a stigmatism that what I “see” isn’t quite true. When I shoot a paper target, I can adjust right or left, high or low. I have enough information to know how my vision is deceiving me.

Yet, with the tiny metal target, I couldn’t see where I was hitting (or, rather not hitting), so it was just a lot of wasted ammo. I was extremely frustrated because I didn’t have enough information to do any better than I was doing (which wasn’t well at all).

Goals help us be able to see where we are hitting, but more importantly, where we are not hitting. We can glean vital information that can get us back on target.

Goals Must Be Specific, Actionable, Accountable and Have Deadlines

Years ago, I took Bob Mayer’s Warrior Writers seminar (the class inspired the name of this blog). Bob, being a former Green Beret is all about goals. He asked us to write down our big writing goal. Being the classic overachiever, I wrote.

I will be a New York Times Best-Selling Author.

Sounds good, right? Um, best-selling author in what? Origami cookbooks? See how broad this target is? There is no focus. No genre. No place. Was I content to “make the list” or did I want to be in the top 20? Top 10? Or even number 1? A goal like that was better than no goal, but…eh, not much. How long did I have to accomplish this? Five years? TWENTY?

Write your big goal, then write as many subgoals as you can, each a step toward that main goal. Put your goals where you can see them. Give them deadlines, then share them with friends who will keep you accountable.

Learn to Ignore the Ants

Ants are all around us. They look like laundry in need of folding, kids who need entertaining, dishes that need to be put away.

Ants always bring friends.

When shooting long-range you have to lie on your belly in the dirt, rock and grass. This is a sign to every fire ant in Texas to build a condo in your boots, but you have to learn to ignore it. Keep looking at the target.

Ignore the bee that is suddenly in love with your hat.

When I first started writing, I believed I needed a quiet, private office with just the right light and the perfect computer to be a productive writer. Now? Life has trained me to be stronger than that. Learn to write with the toddler on your head and the cat who wants to nest on your keyboard.

Can you spot the Attention Whore?

Focus, keep pressing.

View those kids that interrupt you ever three minutes as training. Life will rarely hand us the perfect conditions for premium productivity, so train yourself to work in less-than-ideal situations.

The writer who can focus no matter what else is going on around him is the writer who will succeed long-term. There will always be pets, kids, family, friends, bills, deaths, illness, and drama. We need to learn to work no matter what.

A great way to focus? Get the best information and the most effective methods from experts. Yeah, yeah shameless plug but you have no clue how many experts I had to stalk to make this conference happen. Help me make it worth the restraining orders .

Please check out the new Worldwide WANACon. This conference will equip you to pursue any writing dream with laser focus and expert tactics. This is an affordable, on-line conference with some of the top talent in the industry delivered to you right in the comfort of home. No travel, no pile of extra expenses, ALL AWESOME. We even have AGENT PITCH SESSIONS!

What are your thoughts? Do you find it hard to focus? Do you feel guilty for writing? Do you have methods you use to help you keep your eyes on the prize? Please share!

I LOVE hearing from you…

To prove it and show my love, for the month of February, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less) .

And also, winners have a limited time to claim the prize, because what’s happening is there are actually quite a few people who never claim the critique, so I never know if the spam folder ate it or to look for it and then people miss out. I will also give my corporate e-mail to insure we connect and I will only have a week to return the 20 page edit.

At the end of February I will pick a winner for the monthly prize. Good luck!

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.

Enemy of the Art Part 6—The Land of Good Enough

They don’t even know they’re dead….

Countless people aspire to be successful writers (The Many), but of all of those, only a small percentage will make it (The Few). Why won’t The Many make it? They get side-tracked and wander in circles in The Land of Good Enough. One of the largest problems with The Many? The Many believe in “Safety, first.” They trade short-term thrills for long-term happiness. They are often depressed, overweight, stressed because, on some level, they feel in their souls that they sold out.

And they would be correct.

I’m not judging The Many. I spent over a third of my life among them in the Land of Good Enough. The Land of Good Enough is an easy place to end up. In fact, most of us live there at least a time or two in life.

It’s the breaking free that’s the trick.

The Land of Good Enough is the realm of paycheck-to-paycheck living, dead end jobs that suck away our souls, routine, safety and predictability. It’s a place where we settle when we are too scared to step onto our sacred path and dare to see if we have what it takes to be a real artist.

Most people aren’t even aware they live in The Land of Good Enough. They dull the pain with food, TV, addiction and drama. They need all kinds of artificial stimulation because they have traded authentic passion for the Devil’s shill. It makes me think of a C.S. Lewis quote:

The safest road to Hell is the gradual one—the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.

Of course, when I use the term “Hell” I’m not referring to a fiery inferno where bad people go to be stabbed for all eternity with pitchforks. I am referring to the very real hell many people live in, the hell I barley escaped and that I still must guard against every day. Most of us don’t even realize we’ve landed in hell until we are already there.

And that is the scary part.

When I was in sales, I had to pull over every day to throw up. I hated my job THAT much. But become a writer? Are you nuts?

Really? Just, really Kristen. Because puking every day because of stress was so awesome. NOT.

Many of us follow the rules and listen to our teachers and what Madison Avenue tells us and we don’t realize that the landscape is sloping gently downward and the temperature is slowly rising.

In this type of Hell, The Many die even while they’re still breathing. They become the walking dead, those who go through the motions, not yet dead but never really living. They are caffeinated, medicated zombies who have traded safety for their very soul. The Land of Good Enough makes me think of the line from The Sixth Sense:

I see dead people. Walking around like regular people. They don’t see each other. They only see what they want to see. They don’t know they’re dead. All the time. They’re everywhere.

The Many live in a delusion, they don’t know they’re dead. In their minds, they are practical, safe, and normal (and have a great job in sales *head desk*).

Creatives seem to be particularly vulnerable to getting stuck in The Land of Good Enough and that is why it is on my list of Enemies of the Art. We face different hurdles that other professions and I feel our journey from amateur hobbyist to professional is more fraught with danger than any other field. The price is also higher. Yes, many people will settle in The Land of Good Enough, and it is a personal purgatory. But, for Creatives, the Land of Good Enough is far more insidious.

True artists don’t create because we can, but because we must. When we are disconnected from the muse, we die a deeper death than most, and what makes us different is that when we die, we are not the only ones who suffer. The world suffers. The world our unspoken art failed to change.

Embrace the Resistance!

The Land of Good Enough is an easy place to get lost. This is why we must fight. Write goals, revise goals. Have friends that will send in the flying monkeys if we don’t hold to deadlines. Press. Keep pressing and understand the pressing never ever stops. That’s what we sign up for when we strive to be excellent in out craft.

But it’s worth it .

Have you been trapped in The Land of Good Enough? How did you break free? Are you still struggling there? Why are you afraid to step away? I love hearing from you!

Remember to check out the new Worldwide WANACon. This is an affordable, on-line conference with some of the top talent in the industry delivered to you right in the comfort of home. No travel, no pile of extra expenses, ALL AWESOME. We even have AGENT PITCH SESSIONS!

Again, I LOVE hearing from you…

To prove it and show my love, for the month of February, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less) .

And also, winners have a limited time to claim the prize, because what’s happening is there are actually quite a few people who never claim the critique, so I never know if the spam folder ate it or to look for it and then people miss out. I will also give my corporate e-mail to insure we connect and I will only have a week to return the 20 page edit.

At the end of February I will pick a winner for the monthly prize. Good luck!

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.

Feeling Overwhelmed? Social Media Can Make Us Crazy–Part 3

Image via Amber West WANA Commons

When we are ready to tea out our hair, sometimes we need to return to the basics, to the ABCs. One of my all-time favorite books is Brian Tracy’s Eat That Frog! 21 Way to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time. I swear I reread this book at least once a year, and I have mention it several times on this blog. One of the tactics Tracy teaches is the ABCDE approach.

Lists are Not Enough

Lists are great, and if you read yesterday’s post, you know I’m a fan. But lists alone are not good enough. Why? Because most of us are spineless, lazy and will choose the path of least resistance. We can get caught up being “busy” and lose out on being “fruitful.” We should strive to continually be eating our frogs (the ugliest jobs that we dread). Frogs, like elephants, are easier to eat if broken down (and covered in ketchup ).

Without revealing too much of Tracy’s magic (buy the book!), here’s the ABCDE in a nutshell. Prioritize. What is the one thing you can do today that will have the MOST impact on your big goals?

A items are items you need to do or face serious consequences. Writing your 500 words, paying the cable bill before it’s cut off, firing a troublesome employee/contractor.

Yes, we need to sometimes fire people, even as authors. We sometimes have to fire agents, cover designers, formatters, web designers, etc. Just goes with the territory.

B tasks are ones we really need to do, but not while there are As still left to be tended.

C tasks are something we’d like to do, but there are no serious consequences if we don’t get to it.

Stop by friends’ blogs, read and leave comments.

D tasks can and should be delegated.

E can be eliminated.

Tracy takes the ABCDE method further and gives deeper ways of employing it, so again, buy the book. It’s short, an easy read, and it will help you immensely. Whenever I feel my life spinning out of control, I know it is time to brush off my copy, reread and get back to eating frogs with ABCDE Alphabet Soup.

The World Doesn’t Reward Perfectionists; It Rewards Finishers

Always remember that the perfect is the enemy of the good. Perfectionism is a major hindrance in author blogging. Too many of us think that every post needs to be perfect, filled with words of gold that make angels weep. Save that stuff for the paid content. Blogs are free. This isn’t an excuse to be sloppy, but it is permission to be realistic.

The As on the list? Save the nit-picking for those boys. Cs Ds or even Es? We’re wasting valuable time. It’s like polishing the pipes under the sink. Sally forth, there are books to write.

Perfectionism is a lie. It gets us comparing ourselves with others when that isn’t being realistic. I get new bloggers all the time who feel so inferior when they see how I blog, but I’ve been blogging FIVE years. Trust me, in the beginning? Was NOT pretty. Go check my archives and you’ll see.

So back to work! It writes the words or it gets the hose! IT WRITES THE WORDS OR IT GETS THE HOSE! *pets fluffy white dog*

Okay, you can comment and sign up for WANACon, but then back to writing!

I LOVE hearing from you!

***And a reminder! Jay Donovan is teaching a class on Internet Security to keep you SAFE and your information PROTECTED. Also, please check out WANACon, the affordable conference with top talent, and you can attend in your jammies!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of February, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less) .

And also, winners have a limited time to claim the prize, because what’s happening is there are actually quite a few people who never claim the critique, so I never know if the spam folder ate it or to look for it and then people miss out. I will also give my corporate e-mail to insure we connect and I will only have a week to return the 20 page edit.

At the end of February I will pick a winner for the monthly prize. Good luck!

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.

Feeling Overwhelmed? Social Media Can Make Us Crazy–Part 2

Image via Kimber Montague via WANA Commons

Last week, we talked about some causes and fixes for being overwhelmed.  Unrealistic goals and overcommitment are two major offenders. Today, we talk about how to tackle what we have to do.

How Do You Eat An Elephant? One Bite At a Time

One major mistake we make when creating lists of goals or things to do is we frequently make the bite too big. What happens if we do that when eating a steak? We choke. Same with tasks. Look at your goals and then break them into the smallest pieces possible. This makes it far less daunting to tackle and will give you a greater sense of accomplishment.

Write AMAZING BLOG and get a BAZILLION followers!

Great goal, but needs to be broken down into about 50 parts..okay, maybe 100. A lot of what I do in my blogging class is help you gather content and building materials and then organize them for the most effective use. Wonderful goal to build a house, but probably a good idea to have a blue-print and buy materials before we start swinging a hammer.

Fail to Plan and Plan to Fail

This was a saying we used a lot when I was in sales. Another was Plan your work and work your plan. Make lots of lists, then break down each goal/chore into manageable bites.

Make Lists
Break each task down
Prioritize the items on the list

A lot of time gets wasted because we are all over the place. I rely a lot on lists. If I know I need to go to the post office, pick up a prescription, buy groceries, and pick up the dry cleaning, then I can plan a route ahead of time that lets me do all of these things in a seamless pass.

As I go to pick up The Spawn, I know that the dry cleaner is on the way, then get The Spawn, then swing by the pharmacy on the way to the store. I know the post office is on the way home if I take a slightly different route.

This can work with social media, too. Get a routine that allows a seamless path through each platform you choose to use. Post blog, tweet, scroll home feed on Facebook and do some likes, shares and comments then back to work. Repeat this 3 times a day and over time, you will be shocked by the results.

Never Underestimate Small Steps

We all want to rush in and do everything at once, but this is a formula to fail. A lot of people think they need to be on every social platform every day all the time. Never underestimate the power of a handful of authentic interactions. People filter out automation and spam. They don’t see it. But kindness, fun and authenticity are always memorable.

The same tactics that can keep our house clean (pick up after ourselves, do the small chores regularly) are the same tactics that can keep our social media platform strong and thriving.

Do you suffer from RDD? Are you recovered? What tactics or tools do you use to keep it real?

I LOVE hearing from you!

***And a reminder! Jay Donovan is teaching a class on Internet Security to keep you SAFE and your information PROTECTED. Also, please check out WANACon, the affordable conference with top talent, and you can attend in your jammies!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of February, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less) .

And also, winners have a limited time to claim the prize, because what’s happening is there are actually quite a few people who never claim the critique, so I never know if the spam folder ate it or to look for it and then people miss out. I will also give my corporate e-mail to insure we connect and I will only have a week to return the 20 page edit.

At the end of February I will pick a winner for the monthly prize. Good luck!

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.

Digital Sheep Get Slaughtered–Being Safe On Social Media

Original image via James Bowe, Flikr Creative Commons.

We live in a wonderful world, an amazing time with infinite possibilities. Writers have more power than ever before in the whole of human history. Many of us are explorers in a New World, charting unknown territories in a realm with no boundaries. This is part of how we are able to offer you the writing conference of the future, WANACon (learn more HERE).

Every new territory comes with the splendors never seen, the resources never tapped, the powers never before harnessed. Yet with new opportunities come new predators eager to take advantage of the naive.

I can’t explain why there are those in this world who will hurt people they’ve never met or steal with no concern to what devastation they might create. But, these crooks are there, they are a real threat, and I’m here today to help you guard against attacks.

Hey, I may be a Lamb, but I’m no sheep .

There are digital sheep, digital wolves, but today I want to train you guys to be digital sheepdogs. We aren’t passive, but we are protective and we are on guard to protect those around us. We are not alone!

[image error]

Mom, I’m happy you’re on FB, but please stop talking to the “nice man from the bank in Nigeria.”

Image courtesy of misteraitch from Flikr Creative Commons.

Hackers and Phishers Use Emotion

One common tactic used by hackers and phishers, is they seek to get us upset. If they can scare us or momentarily panic us, we are far more likely to part with sensitive information without thinking.

Frequently they will tell us our account has been suspended because we have been breaking rules we haven’t broken like friending people we don’t know, or friending too many people or even that we have been reported as spammers. Of course, if we just “enter our password” they will get it sorted straight away. Uh huh.

They want us to think Not me! I follow the rules! This is a mistake! I need to get to the bottom of this RIGHT NOW!

When I see this, I log out then back in and often the message goes away, and then I report them. Facebook or Twitter can’t get these guys if we don’t blow the whistle.

Be a sheepdog. Sheep either get eaten by wolves (hand over password) or they go back to munching grass (playing Farmville). Digital sheepdogs go alert those in charge that wolves are sniffing the perimeter.

If someone is a suspected bot on Twitter, we should block and report them. If they try to phish our account, we need to report them. If we get odd e-mails that seem like phishing on Facebook, we must report it.

Digital Wolves WILL Wear Digital Sheep Clothing

So thieves will try to upset you. This will get you to react and hand over sensitive information. One of the ways they can get this reaction is by posing as an authority. For instance, I had this pop up on my Facebook:

Now, 99% of the time I am multitasking and have a toddler trying to scale the back of my head like the Mt. Shasta. Do you see how EASY it would be to catch me off guard and hack my account? Looks official…but look closer.

See how they tried to embarrass and upset me? These creeps know that most of us are good and decent and follow the rules. We were the kids who would have cried if we were threatened with a visit to the Principal. These trolls use what is good an noble about us to attack us. They will use our respect for authority against us if we let them.

I have also had a pop up appear when I went to get on Tweet Deck. The pop up from “Tweet Deck Security” was there to inform me me that my account had been suspended for suspicious spamming activity, but that they were sure it was all a misunderstanding. If I just typed in my password, they would make sure everything was sorted and my account would be unlocked.

I closed the window, logged out and logged back in. My account was fine. This was an attack.

If They Can’t Bait You with Bosses, They’ll Bait You with Buddies

Another common ploy is to come disguised as our “friends.”

The friend phisher will send a DM (direct message) about rumors about you or a nasty review or wild pictures and a link. The hacker is disguised as a fellow member of the herd. Baaaahhhhhh. Someone is saying baaaaaad things about you.

“I’m your friend so I am discreetly telling you so you can go tell them what for.”

No, they are a phisher, and, if you hit that link, your computer is toast. Malware will be all over you like fleas on sheep.

If you get a DM like this, be a sheepdog. Look out for your peeps. Tell them you are getting strange messages and alert them to change their passwords (Something more than seven digits with a number is a good choice). DM them back, but even if you can’t? No one will mind a, “Hey, I tried to DM you but I can’t. You might want to change your password. Getting weird DMs from you.”

This Also Applies to E-Mail

If you get an e-mail from a friend and there is only a link, DO NOT CLICK. If they write a message that seems out of character, DO NOT CLICK. REPLY ALL and alert everyone on the e-mail that this is likely a phisher and tell the sender to change her password immediately. Put in the subject line Re: THIS IS A PHISHER!!! DO NOT CLICK THE LINK!!!

Either the sender will come back and verify he really did send just a link; it was for a dancing squirrel and he hit “send” before he typed a message OR he can change his password and keep hackers from getting in any deeper.

If a friend e-mails for help because she is stranded (and you are unsure if this is really the person), feel free to e-mail back and tell the friend to call you. Since you are friends, then she should have your number.

DO NOT Forward on Cutesy E-Mails

Ever get those messages with a picture of an angel and you have to send to 25 friends in the next ten minutes if you want a miracle…but if you don’t forward the message the note promises that you will be hit with some form of bad luck? DO NOT PASS THESE ON. Hackers use these types of messages to get a hold of addresses.

How else could that cousin in Uganda who wants to will you a million dollars find you?

If you do get some really cute story in your e-mail and you REALLY want to pass it on, just copy and paste into a new e-mail. Hackers already don’t work for a living. Why make their life on Easy Street easy?

Play Games at Your Own Risk

There are all kinds of games on Facebook. We can join causes or keep up with high school peeps, but often it requires granting permission to an application to have access to our information. Not all of this is nefarious, since if I am an application that wants to connect alumni, I need that information.

But these applications are gateways for hackers and phishers, too. I don’t play games like Farmville for that reason (frankly, it’s also because I don’t have time). But any of those games are a risk, so be alert and don’t just grant access to anyone. I rarely join ANYTHING that wants access to my account information, even if it will make life easier.

We have to do the cost-benefit analysis. Sure we can have fun, or an ease of access….but we can also grant fun and ease of access to thieves.

Don’t Use Tweet Validation Services and DO NOT FOLLOW People Who do

I don’t like any service that directs people to an outside page. Anything that directs us off Twitter is vulnerable and can be hijacked. We could be redirected to a copycat site that is there to capture information.

We don’t need validation services. It is not THAT hard to unfollow bots. If someone follows us then they spam us, it takes two clicks to report and block them.

If I follow someone and I get A DM that I need to click a link to prove I’m a real person? I move on. That is a good way to get hacked. And, since I don’t like people making me vulnerable to attack, I just make it my policy to not open any of YOU to attack.

It’s being a good TweepDog.

So to sum up:

1. Never give information to any unconfirmed source.

2. If a message upsets you, calm down before giving any information. Thieves want us reactive. Remain CALM AND PROACTIVE.

3. Never click on any outside link. Ignore validation services. There are plenty of people who won’t make you jump through hoops and open you up to viruses who will befriend you.

4. USB drives are classic tools for getting malware through a firewall. If you don’t trust where a drive came from, don’t insert it into your computer.

5. Always report any attempts to gain access to your information or accounts.

6. Keep an eye out for friends, family and members of your network. Alert them if it seems their account has been compromised.

7. Do NOT use any outside validation services. This opens those in your network to hackers.

Social media is, above all else, SOCIAL. It is far easier to relax and have a good time if we aren’t having our bank accounts emptied. Remember, they call those people con artists for a reason. They will be cunning, clever and quick…but we can be educated and work together.

Please post this blog to your networks, send it to friends and family so they know how to stay safer. The more educated we all are, the safer we are. Together we are stronger.

I hope you enjoyed these tips, but I do have to say that Internet security is not my specialty, but WANA International has someone who is an expert on the subject. Jay Donovan, founder of Tech Surgeons is offering a course on Internet Privacy and Security. This is a valuable class for all of us, but especially valuable for writers who are worried that what they write might cost them a day job (I.e. those who write political or religious works or genres like erotica). While I generally recommend to avoid pen names, sometimes they are a must. Jay can teach you how to maintain that privacy without going nuts.

Have you ever been hacked or phished? What did you do? How did it make you feel? I know I don’t know everything, so what are some tips YOU guys would recommend? I know there are some computer geniuses in my following. Help us out. What are some more ways we can stay safe? How can we better look out for one another?

I LOVE hearing from you!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of February, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less) .

And also, winners have a limited time to claim the prize, because what’s happening is there are actually quite a few people who never claim the critique, so I never know if the spam folder ate it or to look for it and then people miss out. I will also give my corporate e-mail to insure we connect and I will only have a week to return the 20 page edit.

At the end of February I will pick a winner for the monthly prize. Good luck!

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.

And Now for Something Completely Different! Redefining the Writing Conference

Today, I can finally announce some very exciting news. We are holding the very first Worldwide WANACon. The Digital Age has completely altered the publishing world, and writers need to be equipped. Changes are coming faster than anyone can keep up, so we no longer have the luxury of waiting a few months or a year for a standard writing conference. With new opportunities come new challenges, and new predators.

An educated writer is a successful writer.

Which publishing option is the best for you?  How do you decide between a traditional versus a non-traditional career? Can you have both? Do you need an agent even if you are self-publishing? What do you look for in a publishing contract? What are the latest advances in e-book technology? How do you include multi-media? Who do you go to for e-book and print formatting? How can you make your book stand apart? How can your book rival the quality of the major publishing houses? How do you build an author platform and keep your sanity?

These days, there are many roads to Rome (being published). The territory is new and exciting, but equally frightening.

Why is WANACon Different?

The Conference is Global

WANA Con is an on-line writing conference powered by the latest technology. This means, no matter where you are in the world, you can attend a conference with tier one talent. A global marketplace is emerging in the Digital Age. Frequently, foreign writers have a disadvantage.

Publishing has historically been based out of NYC, thus many countries don’t have the same number of conferences, or the conferences are economically or geographically prohibitive for many writers to attend. Now, geography and money are no longer a limitation.

The Conference Experience

WANA digital classrooms are based off a system originally designed for homeschooling children, so the technology was created to be user-friendly and offer an enjoyable experience. For those folks who are technology challenged? WANACon makes it simple, and we have a team of tech support on hand should any problems arise.

Learn all you need to know about craft, social media and the industry from the comfort of home and in your pajamas (more on this later). Even pitch agents!

Our goal is to eventually hold these conferences quarterly so that you can rest assured that you’re armed with the best information and opportunities to help you succeed in a marketplace where discoverability is nothing short of a nightmare.

Travel

These days, travel is not only expensive, it’s arduous. With WANACon? No arriving an hour and a half early to leave time for TSA to do a body cavity search because you forgot your lotion was 3 ounces instead of 2.5. No stuffing everything you need to bring in two small bags because, if you check luggage it’s a) $25 (each way) b) might not arrive with you to your destination.

No hotel fees or money to eat at overpriced restaurants. No flight delays that leave you stranded. This past November alone, I racked up a whopping TWENTY-FIVE hours sitting in airports because of weather or mechanical delays.

Talk about a beating. Those of you with physical limitations or disabilities? This conference is ideal.

Cost

Regular conferences, while wonderful, have a disadvantage. Even if the conference fee is reasonable, the extra stuff adds up quickly. Gas money, flights, airport and hotel parking, rental cars, luggage fees, and hotels can make even the least expensive conference rival the price of a vacation.

Even if I am only gone a couple of days, the cost of airport parking is minimum $60. When I taught at RT in 2011, I was out almost $3000 between air fare, hotel, rental car, parking, airport parking and food. Thrillerfest 2012 was over $2,000. RWA National 2012 was almost $1000 and I was presenting. The only reason RWA National wasn’t over $2000 was because I stayed with a friend. Even local conferences can get pricey very quickly.

This is not a reason to avoid traditional conferences, but WANA is here to supplement those conferences, because with price tags like these, most of us can’t afford to do more than one or two a year and the paradigm is shifting so rapidly, you could get left behind. WANA is stepping in to help.

WANACon is There for ALL Writers

We have craft classes and agent pitches. We have industry professionals from all kids of publishing to help guide you in your career.

The Talent

This conference is simply bursting with AWESOME. You guys have no idea how many people I had to stalk  to um, talk to to get a conference schedule full of this much talent. I’d love to highlight everyone on this post, but I can’t. You can just hop over to the conference schedule.

A Sample Taste

J.E. Fishman is a former acquisitions editor for Doubleday and was the founder of his own literary agency. He’s now joined our ranks as an AUTHOR! This man of many talents will be teaching 9 Steps on the Journey to Quality.

Susan Spann is an attorney who specializes in copyright and intellectual property law. She is also a traditionally published author with St. Martin’s Press (The Shinobi Mysteries). Susan will be teaching Contracts & Copyrights: Understanding Your Publishing Deal and Law for the Lone Wolf: Tour of Publishing Law and Business.

New Your Times Best-Selling Author Allison Brennan  will be teaching how to craft legendary, memorable, frightening villains to make your fiction page-turning fabulous.

Jared Kuritz, Managing Partner of Strategies PR (one of the top PR firms and literary development agencies in the country) and Director of the La Jolla Writers Conference will be teaching Publishing 101: Understanding Your Publishing Options and Platform Building and Book Marketing.

Also, WANA is all about MORE. We have…

Not ONE, but TWO Keynote Speakers

DAY ONE—Best-Selling Author Candace Havens. Her bio is so impressive, I recommend just clicking the link. Candy is one of the most generous, talented people in the world of publishing and she will change your life. LITERALLY. Candy is presenting a talk called Dream Big. I promise after you listen to Candy, you will feel like you can fly.

***But, don’t try to. If you jump off a building WANA cannot be held liable. You really can’t fly, but your writing career CAN.

DAY TWO—New York Times Best-Selling/USA Today Best-Selling Author Shirley Jump is presenting our second keynote presentation Using Rejection to Fuel Writing Success. Again, this gal’s bio is SO impressive, I recommend you just go to her site. Shirley is an amazing person, gifted author and one of the best instructors in the business.

Check out our full conference schedule.

WANACon Slices! It Dices! All This and STILL MORE!

Not only will you have TWO days of some of the best instructors in the industry, but you can also attend an agent pitch as well. Yes, you can get an AGENT at WANACon.

WANA Socialize? Of Course You Do!

No conference is complete without parties. WANACon will have THREE social events. The first is the Thursday before the conference officially begins from 8 p.m. EST to 10 p.m. EST. This  first social event is to help meet fellow attendees and instructors, but mainly to give you a taste of what our digital classrooms will be like and to head off any problems that might arise, before the conference.

WANA is dedicated to making this a fabulous experience. Attend classes, learn, pitch, be inspired, then make new friends…all FROM HOME.

Surprise Pajama Sunday

Worldwide WANACon runs from Thursday, February 21 to Sunday February 24. The conference itself is Friday the 22nd and Saturday the 23rd, but WANA has added Surprise Pajama Sunday from 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. EST. I will be presenting Rise of the Machines; Human Authors in a Digital World. And there are other goodies too, but can’t tell you yet or um, it isn’t a SURPRISE.

SPS is a not only a bonus for attendees, but it’s also a chance to win a year’s worth of WANA International classes (up to Gold Level) for only $10 a class. Take as many classes as you want for $10 a piece (the $10 pays for the admin and technology). And, you are encouraged to attend in PJs. More on this on another post.

Registration

Again, here is where you can view the full conference schedule.

Sign up for BOTH DAYS of WANACon for a mere $125 (this includes ALL the parties and Surprise Pajama Sunday). Register HERE.

If you can only do one day? No problem! Registration is $75. Register HERE for DAY ONE or HERE for DAY TWO.

Ready to get an agent? Sign up for Agent Pitch Sessions HERE.

As WANA Mama I have gone out of my way to provide writers with all the tools for success.

A Place to Learn

This blog and WANA International.

A Place to Connect

Connect, network and make lifelong friendships at WANATribe. There is also #MyWANA on Twitter and the We Are Not Alone Facebook Page.

A Place That’s Safe

Need images you can use without fear of being sued? Choose from almost seven thousand beautiful images at WANA Commons.

Now?

A Place to GROW

The final touch to prepare you for your magnificent writing future? Worldwide WANACon!

WANA stands for WE ARE NOT ALONE and we are committed to preparing writers for the new publishing paradigm. Come learn, laugh and enjoy the WANA love. This conference is easy, affordable and convenient, but seats are limited so sign up today.

I so look forward to seeing you!

How Eminem Makes Me a Better Writer

I grew up in a nightmare. Yes, we were that family. Drama, fights, threats, suicide attempts, break ups, make ups, then wash, rinse, repeat. I’m not that person anymore and we are no longer that family. We’re healthy. We love, laugh and there’s never a raised voice. We value peace, and peace is wonderful in life.

In fiction, it’s death.

As an artist, sometimes my domestication scares me.

I listen to all kinds of music. I have everything from Pavarotti to Coltrane to Ozzy to Eminem on my iPod. I think that’s because real music, great music is easy to recognize whether its in the form of an aria, a riff or a rap. When I was on Whitbey Island someone mentioned how poetry has really suffered in modern years, but I disagree. I think its changed forms if we are willing to be open-minded. I believe rap is a modern reinvention of poetry and no, it isn’t flowery and enlightened. It’s ugly, dark, and often offensive.

But so is life.

Art isn’t always supposed to be pretty. It’s to challenge us, make us think, shove us out of our comfort zones and challenge what we believe.

Now I’ll be blunt. There is a lot of rap music that’s junk (but that isn’t exclusive to rap). But, beneath a lot of the profanity-laden misogynistic drivel we see some amazing pieces of urban artistry, and I believe they have a lot to teach us if we’ll be open enough to listen. To me, Eminem’s songs strike at the heart of the urban plight, and whether we love him or hate him, his music is powerful.

I only like a handful of Eminem’s songs, but the few I like? I can never listen to enough. They make me emotional every time. Perhaps it’s a tether back to that old life. I don’t know. It permits me to remember what it felt like to be out of control and have no real answers. It puts me back in tune with the craziness that births the best stories.

It would be madness to live my current life this way, but as an artist I DO need to remember the crushing weight of a string of bad choices. The fear it ignites. The panic. The dread that makes you chew off your own leg to escape instead of looking for a key. I have to feel that again for my voice and my characters to be authentic.

So here’s a list of what Eminem has taught me (and I will use some lyrics from my favorite songs Love the Way You Lie and Lose Yourself):

Life is Messy

Good fiction involves a push and pull of a lot of agendas. There are no clean answers, no choices that don’t have consequences. Sometimes there isn’t a right answer, and a protagonist has to merely look for the rightest answer and be brave enough to face what follows (which is what transforms him into a hero).

I can’t tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like

and right now there’s a steel knife in my windpipe

I can’t breathe but I still fight while I can fight

As long as the wrong feels right it’s like I’m in flight.

High off of love, drunk from my hate

It’s like I’m huffin’ paint and I love it the more I suffer

I suffocate and right before I’m about to drown, she resuscitates me

She *&^%$ hates me, and I love it

Wait, where you going? I’m leaving you. No you ain’t.

Come back, we’re running right back, here we go again.

It’s so insane, ’cause when it’s good it’s goin’ great

I’m Superman with the wind at his back, she’s Lois Lane.

But when it’s bad it’s awful.

I feel so ashamed. (Love the Way You Lie)

In these lyrics we see the push and pull, the tug of feelings of wanting to do what’s right yet always seeming to choose the wrong path. Our characters need to do the same thing. Don’t get me wrong, we don’t need characters that are too dumb to live, but at the same time, if they always say the right things and make the right choices, we can’t relate. We can’t root for them to do better.

Great characters are deeply flawed, but they become heroes because, in spite of the odds, they rise above those flaws and finally DO change. Great characters need (forgivable) flaws.

In Joy Luck Club each of the women suffer from fear; fear of standing up to abuse, fear of wanting, fear of disapproval and this fear generates the story tension.

In The Divine secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood  Vivi (the antagonist)’s childhood is filled with abuse from her crazy Catholic mother who’s jealous of the attention her husband gives Vivi. Vivi also loses her true love in war when she’s only a teen. This fear of being vulnerable later divides her relationship with her daughter, Sidda(protagonist), and it fuels her abusive behavior. She tries to be a good mom and wife, the opposite of her nutso mother, but her fear of being hurt just propels her into another bad choice and another. Can this be repaired?

Great Fiction is Birthed from Poor Choices

Now I know we said things, did things that we didn’t mean

And we fall back into the same patterns, the same routine

But your temper’s just as bad as mine is, you’re same as me

But when it comes to love you’re just as blinded.

Baby please come back, it wasn’t you, Baby it was me

Maybe our relationship isn’t as crazy as it seems.

Maybe that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano

All I know is I love you too much to walk away (Love the Way You Lie).

This is the heart of the story, realizing love is there, it’s worth staying, but can it survive before the couple destructs? They have to grow, they must grow or they’re trapped. The conflict arises because no one is making good, sane or healthy choices and that is the beating heart of strong fiction.

Look at your characters. Are they too self-actualized? Too sane? Too level-headed? A lot of the page-turning conflict will be generated by personal agendas and baggage. Dig in to that place that scares you, and that’s where the great stories hide.

What are your character’s secrets? How do those secrets prevent good choices? How does pain from the past make decisions in the present so hard?

In Sworn to Silence the protagonist committed a horrible crime when she was young. Years later, she is the Chief of Police. Her secret keeps her from being able to be forthright in the investigation of a possible serial killer. Her failure to disclose only stalls the investigation as the body count rises, but if she confesses what she did, she could go to jail. The secret tinges her perception and leads her away from the actual killer. Guilt is driving her, not strong investigative instincts.

Great Stories Require High Stakes

Another of my favorite Eminem songs is Lose Yourself. This song is so rich because we feel the pressure to succeed because we know the price of failure.

Mom I love but this trailer’s got to go

I cannot grow old in Salem’s Lot, so here I go, it’s my shot

Feet fail me not, this might be the only opportunity I got.

We know that he feels trapped. He can’t pay the bills and provide for the family. He’s in a trailer and on food stamps and all he knows is there is ONE way of this hell, out of this generational curse. One ticket for him and his family or it’s death, prison or minimum wage slavery. The stakes rise and so does the pressure.

What happens if your protagonist fails? What are the stakes? In Winter’s Bone Ree Dolly’s father cooks meth. When he fails to show up for his court date, the family stands to lose their home and land and be forced out on the street. Ree must find her father, alive or dead to save her mentally ill mother and two young siblings.

Remember, the higher the stakes, the better the story.

Here is the video to Love the Way You Lie (caution: adult situations and language)

What are your thoughts? What songs do you use to remind you of emotions you need for your art? Do you feel song is a powerful tool for writing? I never listen to music while writing. I like quiet. But I DO listen to music as preparation. What about you? Do you also have a weird variety of songs in your collection? What music inspires you?

I love hearing from you!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of February, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less) .

And also, winners have a limited time to claim the prize, because what’s happening is there are actually quite a few people who never claim the critique, so I never know if the spam folder ate it or to look for it and then people miss out. I will also give my corporate e-mail to insure we connect and I will only have a week to return the 20 page edit.

At the end of February I will pick a winner for the monthly prize. Good luck!

January’s WINNER is Yesenia Vargas. Please send your 5000 word Word document to kristen @ wana intl dot com or your query letter or synopsis (limit 750 words). Congratulations!

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.

Enemies of the Art Part 5–Fatigue

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Image of “Patches” via LaurieSanders60 WANA Commons

We have already discussed four enemies of the art–Approval Addiction, Psychic Vampires, F.E.A.R, and pride. What I find so fascinating is how all of these enemies seem to link together, forming a net that can ensnare us, trapping our muse and strangling her. When we are addicted to approval, we are far more likely to tolerate Psychic Vampires. Psychic Vampires feed off drama, conflict and misery and one of their favorite weapons is F.E.A.R. These types of people love using fear. Why? Because as humans we are wired to combat fear, and Psychic Vampires use this to their advantage.

When we are upset, our brains default to limbic mode—fight or flight. Unfortunately, we can’t operate in the primal brain and the higher thinking centers at the same time. This means that, in the reptile brain, we are prone to making dumb decisions. If a Psychic Vampire can keep us rattled, frightened and upset, we are far more likely to give in, to let them have their way because we are just trying to escape. The really bad part about this limbic mode is it’s great for fight or flight, but creativity can’t dwell there.

This is one of the major reasons that we must clean house and remove toxic people if we want to be successful.

It seems so easy, doesn’t it? When I write this here in black and white, it makes sense. If it is so simple, why don’t we do it? Pride often makes us prone to think we can handle more than is healthy. We aren’t being honest that we need rest, because we want others to see us as strong, or more put-together than we really are.

Another reason for this poor judgement (and far more common)? Plain and simple. We’re tired. Rest is critical for so many things. When we rest, we can calm down. When we can calm down, we gain clarity. When we gain clarity, it’s easier to recognize then remove toxic people. When we rest, we can start to see our agendas more clearly.

Am I doing this for me, or to PLEASE/APPEASE someone else?

Give Ourselves Permission to Rest

In our Western culture we are all go, go, go, go, GO! AND GO FASTER! Vacations are frowned upon. We feel like we need to be productive every waking hour, yet this is a LIE.

Busy work and productivity aren’t the same thing. A hamster can run in his tiny wheel all day long and get nowhere. So can we. We can be so tired we fail to discern the urgent from the important. Everyone wants everything instantly and we need to set firm boundaries.

I’ve had people who just pushed and pushed and pushed to get what they wanted immediately. You know what I had to learn to say?

I AM NOT McDonalds. I have no MAKE-YOU-HAPPY MEALS and no drive-thru.

We have to be firm and be in charge our our own agendas. People can learn to wait. In fact, it might be good for them.

Understand Your Brain

The human mind is essentially a dual-processing unit. It’s always taking in information, sorting, making connections even when we are working on other things. The only way the mind can truly work its magic is if we back off the throttle. Some of the greatest inventions in human history didn’t come while in the lab, sitting at the piano, or hunched over a typewriter. The ideas came during a nap, on a walk or in a warm, relaxing shower. The body and mind could relax enough for the AHA! moment.

It isn’t Goofing Off; It’s WORK

For writers, reading is essential. So is watching movies, traveling, going for a walk or even attending a party and joining in (or eavesdropping) on conversations. This is all the “data” we feed into our brain, the ingredients we give it to mix together to create the magic. Don’t berate yourself for watching a movie or playing with your kids. Great writers LIVE LIFE and that’s why their characters sound like people…NOT characters.

What are your thoughts? Are you chronically overworked? Do you have a hard time just resting? Does it make you feel lazy? Is it hard for you to simply play? Have you overcome these feelings? How did you repair your distorted relationship with rest? What ways do you employ to ensure you are rested?

I love hearing from you!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of February, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less) .

And also, winners have a limited time to claim the prize, because what’s happening is there are actually quite a few people who never claim the critique, so I never know if the spam folder ate it or to look for it and then people miss out. I will also give my corporate e-mail to insure we connect and I will only have a week to return the 20 page edit.

At the end of February I will pick a winner for the monthly prize. Good luck!

January’s WINNER will be announced Monday.

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.

Enemies of the Art Part 4—Pride

Image via Catie Rhodes WANA Commons

Pride is most frequently a malaise of the insecure. I suffered terribly with a pride problem for many years. On the outside, I looked like I knew it all, that I had all the right answers, but really? I didn’t know my butt from a hole in the ground, and I was terrified other people would realize this if I asked questions or admitted I didn’t know everything.

Of course, the consequence of being prideful is we aren’t teachable. Those who aren’t teachable won’t grow. Things that fail to grow long enough eventually DIE.

When I began to write fiction, I didn’t want to read craft books because I was afraid other people would think I didn’t know how to write. My first conferences? I was more focused on getting an agent than I was from learning from other more seasoned and experienced people in the industry. I should have been attending classes to teach me better ways to plot or methods to make my characters more dimensional, but I was too busy lining up to learn how to land an agent or a three-book deal.

Looking back? Yeah, I kinda want a DeLorean so I can go back in time and kick my own @$$ for being a prideful idiot.

There is No Shame in NOT Knowing

Just because we have command of our native language does not automatically mean we possess the skills necessary to write a novel. Think of it this way. Unless we are mute, we all have a voice, but just because we can “sing” doesn’t mean we can SING.

No one would fault a singer for taking voice lessons. No one would fault an actor for taking acting lessons. Yet, when it comes to writing, there is this societal assumption that, because we are literate, we have everything we need to become rock star novelists.

A Hint: The masters of our craft are always learning. NYTBSAs still read craft books, attend lectures, and read authors they feel are stronger in some area where they want to learn.

Want to know who doesn’t?

Insecure amateurs.

Mentors are Vital

Part of the reason I started the warriorwriters blog, was to honor my first real mentor Bob Mayer. His classes (and books) were the first time my head was crow-barred out of my derriere. And, when I finally saw LIGHT, I was grateful and a tad…mortified.

Life is short and we only have so much time to learn what we need to be successful. Mentors help shorten this learning curve tremendously. Mentors can guide us, give advice, point us to the right resources and books.

I’ve made mentors out of many people I’ve never met and perhaps never will meet—Seth Godin, Penelope Trunk, the Bloggess, and Steve Tobak to name a few. I read their blogs, their books, listen to their lectures and see what I can apply to come up higher, to do better. TED is an excellent resource.

I couldn’t do any of this when I thought I knew everything.

Two Paths to Humility

There are two paths to humility. One is The Easy Method. We submit willingly and admit we need help. Easy. Yeah.

Uh-huh.

But that would have been too “easy” for me. I needed The Meat Tenderizer Method, which is where life and failure beat the hell out of you long enough that you, the soft, bloodied mess, finally tap out and realize you maybe don’t know as much as you think you do.

One of the reasons I gave up having an on-line writing workshop is that I spent too much time arguing with people who couldn’t take correction. I simply didn’t have the energy to write 2,000 word dissertations 3 times a day about why all books need a core antagonist, why flashbacks every other paragraph were bad, and why having the cast of Ben Hur in the first 10 pages of a novel was a flawed plan. I was exhausted working with students who knew everything (and probably got a dose of how it had been working with me all those years).

Remember, minds are like parachutes. They work best when open.

Humility will take us farther faster. When we’re humble, we’re open to mentors, to learning new things, to trying other ways. I see a lot of writers who rush out to publish before they are ready instead of listening to the 42 people who told them the book wasn’t yet marketable and needed work.

When they then get the one-star reviews, they want to report the reviewers instead of realizing, they published before the book was ready, before THEY were ready. This author all too often fails to see the real problem and markets more and spams tweets more and pays big bucks for SEO gurus to improve their web site because it couldn’t possibly be they don’t know how to write novels.

Again. Easy Way or Meat Tenderizer Way? We all have a choice. But take it from the person with meat tenderizer scars on her forehead. Easy Way is easier. Shocking, but true. The writing community is VERY generous. James Scott Bell, Candy Havens, Les Edgerton, Shirley Jump are all heroes of mine and they are so kind, thoughtful and liberal with praise and guidance. Please seek them out (they are all instructors at WANA International). Remember that true artists are always learning and looking for ways to grow stronger.

What are your thoughts? Do you have meat tenderizer scars, too? Or were you smart and quickly took the easy way? Who are some mentors who’ve helped you? How did you grow? What was your experience?

I love hearing from you!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of January, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less) .

And also, winners have a limited time to claim the prize, because what’s happening is there are actually quite a few people who never claim the critique, so I never know if the spam folder ate it or to look for it and then people miss out. I will also give my corporate e-mail to insure we connect and I will only have a week to return the 20 page edit.

At the end of January I will pick a winner for the monthly prize. Good luck!

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.

Enemies of the Art Part 5—Pride

Image via Catie Rhodes WANA Commons

Pride is most frequently a malaise of the insecure. I suffered terribly with a pride problem for many years. On the outside, I looked like I knew it all, that I had all the right answers, but really? I didn’t know my butt from a hole in the ground, and I was terrified other people would realize this if I asked questions or admitted I didn’t know everything.

Of course, the consequence of being prideful is we aren’t teachable. Those who aren’t teachable won’t grow. Things that fail to grow long enough eventually DIE.

When I began to write fiction, I didn’t want to read craft books because I was afraid other people would think I didn’t know how to write. My first conferences? I was more focused on getting an agent than I was from learning from other more seasoned and experienced people in the industry. I should have been attending classes to teach me better ways to plot or methods to make my characters more dimensional, but I was too busy lining up to learn how to land an agent or a three-book deal.

Looking back? Yeah, I kinda want a DeLorean so I can go back in time and kick my own @$$ for being a prideful idiot.

There is No Shame in NOT Knowing

Just because we have command of our native language does not automatically mean we possess the skills necessary to write a novel. Think of it this way. Unless we are mute, we all have a voice, but just because we can “sing” doesn’t mean we can SING.

No one would fault a singer for taking voice lessons. No one would fault an actor for taking acting lessons. Yet, when it comes to writing, there is this societal assumption that, because we are literate, we have everything we need to become rock star novelists.

A Hint: The masters of our craft are always learning. NYTBSAs still read craft books, attend lectures, and read authors they feel are stronger in some area where they want to learn.

Want to know who doesn’t?

Insecure amateurs.

Mentors are Vital

Part of the reason I started the warriorwriters blog, was to honor my first real mentor Bob Mayer. His classes (and books) were the first time my head was crow-barred out of my derriere. And, when I finally saw LIGHT, I was grateful and a tad…mortified.

Life is short and we only have so much time to learn what we need to be successful. Mentors help shorten this learning curve tremendously. Mentors can guide us, give advice, point us to the right resources and books.

I’ve made mentors out of many people I’ve never met and perhaps never will meet—Seth Godin, Penelope Trunk, the Bloggess, and Steve Tobak to name a few. I read their blogs, their books, listen to their lectures and see what I can apply to come up higher, to do better. TED is an excellent resource.

I couldn’t do any of this when I thought I knew everything.

Two Paths to Humility

There are two paths to humility. One is The Easy Method. We submit willingly and admit we need help. Easy. Yeah.

Uh-huh.

But that would have been too “easy” for me. I needed The Meat Tenderizer Method, which is where life and failure beat the hell out of you long enough that you, the soft, bloodied mess, finally tap out and realize you maybe don’t know as much as you think you do.

One of the reasons I gave up having an on-line writing workshop is that I spent too much time arguing with people who couldn’t take correction. I simply didn’t have the energy to write 2,000 word dissertations 3 times a day about why all books need a core antagonist, why flashbacks every other paragraph were bad, and why having the cast of Ben Hur in the first 10 pages of a novel was a flawed plan. I was exhausted working with students who knew everything (and probably got a dose of how it had been working with me all those years).

Remember, minds are like parachutes. They work best when open.

Humility will take us farther faster. When we’re humble, we’re open to mentors, to learning new things, to trying other ways. I see a lot of writers who rush out to publish before they are ready instead of listening to the 42 people who told them the book wasn’t yet marketable and needed work.

When they then get the one-star reviews, they want to report the reviewers instead of realizing, they published before the book was ready, before THEY were ready. This author all too often fails to see the real problem and markets more and spams tweets more and pays big bucks for SEO gurus to improve their web site because it couldn’t possibly be they don’t know how to write novels.

Again. Easy Way or Meat Tenderizer Way? We all have a choice. But take it from the person with meat tenderizer scars on her forehead. Easy Way is easier. Shocking, but true. The writing community is VERY generous. James Scott Bell, Candy Havens, Les Edgerton, Shirley Jump are all heroes of mine and they are so kind, thoughtful and liberal with praise and guidance. Please seek them out (they are all instructors at WANA International). Remember that true artists are always learning and looking for ways to grow stronger.

What are your thoughts? Do you have meat tenderizer scars, too? Or were you smart and quickly took the easy way? Who are some mentors who’ve helped you? How did you grow? What was your experience?

I love hearing from you!

To prove it and show my love, for the month of January, everyone who leaves a comment I will put your name in a hat. If you comment and link back to my blog on your blog, you get your name in the hat twice. If you leave a comment, and link back to my blog, and mention my book We Are Not Alone in your blog…you get your name in the hat THREE times. What do you win? The unvarnished truth from yours truly.

I will pick a winner once a month and it will be a critique of the first 20 pages of your novel, or your query letter, or your synopsis (5 pages or less) .

And also, winners have a limited time to claim the prize, because what’s happening is there are actually quite a few people who never claim the critique, so I never know if the spam folder ate it or to look for it and then people miss out. I will also give my corporate e-mail to insure we connect and I will only have a week to return the 20 page edit.

At the end of January I will pick a winner for the monthly prize. Good luck!

I also hope you pick up copies of my best-selling books We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer . And both are recommended by the hottest agents and biggest authors in the biz. My methods teach you how to make building your author platform FUN. Build a platform and still have time left to write great books.