Gerald Dean Rice's Blog, page 117

30 Minute Plan - 1

Lemons, strawberries, oranges…

 

Life was a joke.

 

Danton was certain of it now. If the dead rising to feast on the living hadn't been enough, now the brains had found a way to make them smell like fruit.

 

'Scent marking' the head brain had called it. Just trying to recall any of the long explanation as to why the brains had the dogs risk the necks to spray the stuff on packs of ziggies made his head hurt. It was well past us or them time and this was the best they could come up with?

It made Danton want to start his own thirty-minute plan.

 

General Tarver had noticed the ziggies traveled in packs four years ago. He'd reported it back to the brains and finally, two weeks ago Dr. Boyle had slapped a canister in Cargill's hands with the word 'lemon' written with a sharpie on it. They'd given Danton one with 'strawberry' written on it and Tookes one with 'orange'.

 

Their orders were simple enough: walk outside and find the biggest pack of ziggies and spray them down with this stuff.

 

Danton was ready to tell the pretty young brain who'd handed him his to go shove, but he was a soldier. A dog. He obeyed.

 

Slow or not, going outside was risky when ziggy was about. Danton was fast and he hustled until he came in contact with a pack. He'd almost threw down the canister and drew down on them, but no. There had to have been an explanation for this. He just didn't like sticking out his neck before he'd heard it.

 

He waited until the lead one was just within twenty feet then began spraying them. It was a thick red fluid and yep, it did have the strong scent of strawberries. They didn't seem to mind too much, even when he got it in their mouths. Danton circled the pack of ziggies, spraying them until the canister was empty.

 

Then the oddest thing: they turned and shambled away.

 

Danton shook himself out of his stance. He felt dull, like a knife that had been used too many times; he killed so many, destroyed so many more…

 

Had to go help Tookes. The sooner the other dogs were done the sooner they were all done. He jogged over to the intersection Tookes had headed to and spotted him on the ground thirty yards away.

More Reviews

Just got another one in for "Goners".  Wow, keep this up and I might start thinking I've really done something.  Check it out here (don't forget to buy a copy too).  Thanks a lot, Rich.

"In "Goners" Gerald Rice gives us 5 short stories from a fresh new voice in horror. The gem of this collection is the title piece "Goners" a take on the zombie genre that plays more on the humanity of a survivor than the zombie angle (Although don't be worried, there is zombies a plenty and lots of great action), Terence who has done what he needs to do to survive, even created a kind of routine that has kept him alive but when confronted with a visitor from his past he has to decide if he wants to stay within his routine or make the choice to follow up on a notion he has about this visitor and what it means.

Strong writing using good characterization to move the work along.

 

My only complaint is that I wanted more. These 5 stories seemed to just fly by, and that is a testament to the writing, it flows and reads very easy.

 

Give it a chance, you won't be sorry."

Zombie Story

I figure I can kill two birds with one stone.  Sometime next year, more than likely late next year, I'll probably put together a collection of zombie shorts.  I wrote one some years back called Flesh-Eaters Anonymous, but I need to do some work on it.  I also wrote "Goner" earlier this year (available on Kindle in the collection "Goners").  What can I say, zombie are popular and they don't seem to be losing any steam just yet.  I've already thought of 3 stories I'd want to put in it and last night I cranked out 3 pages standing in my kitchen. 

 

But back to the murder of birds.  I always like to keep up my posts on here as close to a daily basis as possible I figure why not write one of them on here?  It won't be the final product, just as the story comes to me.  The edited version may wind up looking completely different.  Come back tomorrow for the first entry.

Motor City Java Cafe

Coming up this Saturday from 4-6.  I'm hoping to see some familiar faces and some new ones.  Finally, I get to meet the Crown.

Thanks, Medusa

Just got a great review for "Goners" on Amazon.  I had to yank it and put it on here.  Thanks, Medusa.  Hope to see you for volume II!

Permuted Press

I just did an interview with Jessica Weiss for Permuted Press.  I don't know when it'll be up, but I'll keep you posted.

Barnes & Noble

I didn't know this, but apparently you can buy TGT on Barnes & Noble's website and on Books-a-Million.

Goners, Vol. II

Yes, there's going to be one and I just got some pretty cool news.  "Mona" from the Harvest Hill anthology will be in it.  I wrote that along with "The Best Night of the Year" only they wanted one story per author.

Something Cool

I'm not saying anything, but I'm just saying.  I'm working on something really cool with some good people and with any luck everyone should know all about it sometime in the middle of next year. 

 

In the past I've shot myself in the foot by saying too much about what I was working on, so no details, but it'll be highly original and really cool.

 

Hope you all stay tuned.

iRenew: A New Spin on an Old Scam

I'm sitting on the couch watching TV with my daugher when I see a commercial for an obvious crap product but they 'proved' its effectiveness by doing a balance test.  That's when you have a person stand like normal and you pull on one arm and then they come unbalanced. 

 

I used to be an independent representative for Quixtar, aka Amway and we had a product that we 'proved' with the exact same method.  Smart Water, which alleged to have specially bonded oxygen molecules, was supposed to refresh in a way no other water could.  I've since found similar types of bottled water at Whole Foods similarly priced, but that's another story. 

 

At our meetings we even had reps who sold the water (and sold us on selling the water) by saying the water had restorative capabilities.  You can't say that it'll have your crippled uncle walking after a swig, but someone's uncle had a taste and he was standing even though he hadn't done that in years (you'd think that uncle would have come in and showed us or someone would have had a video).

 

I don't mean this to be an Amway-bash rant.  It's that test what's got me to thinking about that water.  I can explain how the balance test really works and maybe you can use it as a trick at your next party (or come up with your own miracle product).

 

Have a friend stand as he normally would, feet spread a normal distance.  Pull downward on his arm and he will come unbalanced.  At this point you would give him a 'taste' of the water or slip on a bracelet or whatever your product is.  Then have him assume the same position and pull downward on his arm in the same way.  What's that you say?  He didn't lose his balance this time?  It's a miracle?

 

Not quite.

 

What happened was his body adjusted and was ready to be pulled.  The water didn't do it, the bracelet didn't do it, the part of the brain that controls balance did.