Laura Roberts's Blog, page 66

February 9, 2015

Songs that have shaped my love life: Pearl Jam, Better Man

For some reason, I seem to get a lot of great ideas after I hit the gym. Maybe it’s all the endorphins and adrenaline rushing around, maybe it’s just the increased blood flow to my brain, but whatever the case may be, this week I got the bright idea to put together an anthology for Valentine’s Day entitled Everything I Need to Know About Love I Learned From Pop Songs.

Naturally, as Valentine’s Day is less than a week away, this idea is not going to be hitting shelves until February 2016, but I thought it would be interesting to start blogging about some of the pop songs that have shaped my own views of love as I seek out some funny, cynical, and even serious essays from others on the same subject.

So without further ado, here’s the first installment of this series. I feel like it should be called “P is for Pop Songs,” because a ton of the bands that have influenced me have names that start with P. Is this weird, or do you also have a certain letter that seems to pop up a lot in your musical selections?

Anyway, let’s start with Pearl Jam.

Frankly, I can’t stand the band nowadays, but back when I was a young and impressionable teen, there was a boy I liked. And he liked Pearl Jam.

Or, perhaps more correctly, he enjoyed belting out random lyrics from random songs, and the ones I typically recognized were from Pearl Jam.

The ones I remember most clearly were from the song “Better Man,” off of their 1994 album Vitalogy (and yes, I owned this album back in 1994 — it was one of the first I can remember buying). The song’s lyrics are frequently misheard as “Can’t find the butter, ma’am,” which I think are actually superior to the originals, because they’re definitely funnier.

“Better Man” is a pretty dark song. Not at all your typical love song, and not really a pop song in the classic sense of lollipops and rainbows and lovers walking hand in hand.

“Better Man” is about a woman trying to escape a bad — possibly abusive — relationship.

So why is this one of the songs that spring to mind when I think about love?

That’s a very interesting question, and I think the only real link is the fact that I liked this boy, who I shall refer to as Zoltan because he had a similarly unusual name, and Zoltan seemed to like this song very much.

So much so that when we went to an amusement park and rode a rather extreme roller coaster together, instead of screaming like the rest of us, Zoltan belted out the lyrics to “Better Man”!

I wish I had bought a picture of the looks on our faces, captured by the coaster’s camera at the very first drop. My mouth, open in an O-shape, screaming. His mouth, open in an E-shape, shouting Eddie Vedder’s lyrics.

Clearly, nothing good can come of a relationship built on frivolities like trips to an amusement park, nor from boys who are only good when there are parents present.

And let’s not forget his suspicious taste in music.

I certainly needed a Better Man myself. Zoltan was not the one. But we enjoyed a few make-out sessions together, and I learned what bad boys were really like. Wolves in sheep’s clothing, pretending to be upright citizens headed for med school, but secretly cutting class to hang out with girls that enjoy thrills like the leap your heart makes before a corkscrew turn on a fast ride — or a kiss from a boy.

We lasted a week, and it was undoubtedly for the best. My parents disapproved of him. Looking back, they were right. But at the time, I thought of him as a kind of Eddie Vedder himself, a man who spoke of love — even broken love — where others feared to tread.

Sorry, Zoltan, but this song rang true, and this song’s for you. When you can’t find a better man, you’ll turn to pop songs that talk about leaving your lover, even if they’re a bit mumbled and confused like this Pearl Jam opus.

Now it’s your turn

What pop songs make you think about love? How have pop songs influenced your relationships? Tell me a story, and you could be featured in the first volume of Everything I Need to Know About Love I Learned From Pop Songs. Click the link for details on how to submit.

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Published on February 09, 2015 10:00

February 3, 2015

Take Me: 12 Tales of Dark Desire #giveaway

Surrender to desire with 12 books by the hottest names in dark romance, including bestselling authors Pepper Winters, Anna Zaires, and Lynda Chance.

CD Reiss – Spin
Jenika Snow – A Beautiful Prison
Pepper Winters – Destroyed
Skye Warren – Trust in Me
Kendall Ryan – Unravel Me
Anna Zaires & Dima Zales – Twist Me
Shay Savage – Otherwise Alone & Otherwise Occupied
Amber Lin & Shari Slade – Three Nights with a Rock Star
Pam Godwin – Deliver
Lynda Chance – Marco’s Redemption
Gemma James – Torrent

These e-books would cost over $40 if purchased separately. This set will only be available for a limited time.

An excerpt from Three Nights with a Rock Star by Amber Lin and Shari Slade

Hailey forced herself to stand still for his leisurely perusal. Even when he stood and stalked toward her, she managed to hold on to her dignity—whatever dregs she had left after donning these clothes and almost falling on her face. But his smile hit her like a blast of heat, blinding her, scalding her. He looked far too pleased with himself, like a man about to get everything he wanted. And her shaky insides warned she might just give it to him.

“What do you mean?” she asked, proud her voice didn’t quaver too much.

“You want to stay here while we’re in Chicago,” he said. “To stay here for three days, to blend in so that no one questions why you’re here. To ask questions, poke around.”

Yes, that was exactly what she wanted. So why did her nod feel like surrender? As if she’d agreed to his terms before she even knew them. But then maybe she did know what his terms would be. His eyes spoke the words his lips had yet to say. There were volumes of gold-flecked pages filled with all that sensual knowledge. They promised delight and, even better, a hard bite to the exchange. Where the men she had been with were a fresh spring breeze, he stood before her like the calm before the storm, his eyes darkening clouds.

“Can you…” She licked her lips. His gaze tracked the movement, making her feel hunted. “Can you help me?”

His expression softened. Just the slightest degree, but it was enough to slow the hammering of her heart. This was the same kind man she’d met in the lobby. Desire had given him a rough edge, turning his loping gait into a prowl, making his nostrils flare—scenting her. But he was still kind inside.

When he didn’t answer, she searched for whatever strength she might have found. You want… he’d said, listing her terms. Only his terms were left to be stated. A negotiation, then. But even as she thought the words, an image flashed through her mind, a gazelle caught from behind, the vicious beauty of her captor feasting in a National Geographic special.

“What do you want?” she whispered, and somehow the wall was at her back. He was at her front… crowding her… embracing her?

“You,” he snarled. “Under me. Over me. On your knees in front of me. I get full artistic license to your body for three days.”

His words pounded her like hail, leaving dents and then pooling in the hollows left behind. They drowned out the rest of the world and shook the floor. She began to shake too—but her gaze remained locked with his. The shaking was on the inside, fear and a strange longing warring inside her, a battle to the death. She stood frozen, caught in his sights and too terrified to run.

Too curious to walk away.

He stepped back, sending a wash of crisp hotel air over her body. She sucked in a breath and immediately missed the earthy scent of him.

“And you,” he continued conversationally, “will have total access to play Nancy Drew in the hotel. That is, whenever I’m not using you.”

Her body lit up when he said the word using. It imploded on you, spoken with such self-assured possession. What was wrong with her that she wanted to be used? Maybe because she wanted to be free to enjoy sex, to really explore it, for the first time in her tame little life. Maybe because he would be the one using her, and he seemed like he would know just what to do with her.

This was a bad idea. For reasons that weren’t quite coming to her at the moment. But she knew it was bad. If she’d said it once, she’d said it a thousand times to her preschoolers: don’t make decisions when you’re angry. Though she wasn’t angry. She was concerned. And frustrated. And…

God, Chloe, why? After I worked so freaking hard so you could start college, why couldn’t you be more careful?

Okay, she might be angry.

She swallowed. So maybe this weekend could be for her too. She would find the baby’s father, but she’d also find something for herself.

With a deep breath, she struggled for levity. A lopsided tilt of her lips was all she could manage.

“Where do I sign?” she joked.

His grin widened, revealing an even row of white teeth. The Cheshire cat had just such a smile.

“I’m so glad you asked. I have blank copies of my contract in the side table. Right next to the lube.”

Buy Your Copy

Buy the book only at Amazon

About the Authors

To learn more about each of the authors in this anthology, please check out their links below.

Giveaway

The authors are giving away a $25 Amazon/B&N gift card, via Rafflecopter. Don’t forget to follow the rest of the tour and comment; the more you comment, the better your chances of winning! All tour dates can be found here.

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Published on February 03, 2015 01:00

February 2, 2015

Just A Theory: An excerpt + #giveaway by Annie Wood

Just when Martin thinks his life will never go anywhere remotely interesting, he meets an eccentric quantum physicist who gives him the ability to travel to his parallel lives where, in one of them, he runs a successful bed and breakfast with his beautiful wife in Italy.

Only problem is, Martin has no control over any of this.

An excerpt from Just A Theory

Amazon

About the Author

AuthorPic_Just a Theory Annie Wood is a Hollywood native, lifelong actress and writer. She was the host and co-producer of the nationally syndicated dating game show, BZZZ! She has appeared in many films and television shows and is an award winning playwright. The digital-series she created, wrote and stars in, Karma’s a B*tch, was Best of the Web on Virgin America. Annie is committed to telling stories that have plenty of her two favorite things — humor and heart.

Also, she can juggle oranges for about three seconds and spider monkeys creep her out.

Now you know everything.

Find her online at Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, her Amazon author page or her website, anniewood.com.

Giveaway

Annie will be awarding a $40 Amazon or B&N gift card to a randomly drawn winner via Rafflecopter during the tour. Don’t forget to follow the rest of the tour and comment; the more you comment, the better your chances of winning! All tour dates can be found here.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Published on February 02, 2015 01:00

January 30, 2015

Rookie Season: An excerpt and #giveaway

Talented young ballplayer Clay Love has just been called up from the minors to play major league baseball. Freelance writer and divorcée Rose Lasting, the world’s biggest baseball fan, wasn’t expecting to fall in love when she fell into Clay’s arms, but fall in love she did. Now they are caught up in a whirlwind romance complicated by the paparazzi, Clay’s ex-girlfriend, Rose’s ex-husband, and a stalker who puts Rose’s life in grave danger. Saving her life and catching her attacker takes you on a roller coaster of emotion and intrigue that you won’t soon forget.

Rookie Season is the first book in the Love in the Ballpark Series, by V.K. Robbins. This adult erotic romance tale sizzles with romantic and sexual chemistry, emotion, and suspense. Once you start reading, you won’t be able to put it down.

An excerpt from Rookie Season

MediaKit_BookCover_RookieSeason He shared about missing his mother’s last days because he had been out on the road with his AA team, and how he regretted it. I thought about telling him about my grandfather, but I didn’t. I knew I would cry and there was no way I wanted to cry right then. I did tell him, though, about how my dad left when I was six, and I was raised by my mother and her father, my grandfather.

And we talked about baseball — how it was my first love, how he only really felt comfortable and at home out on the field, how I hadn’t missed a Giants home game in 10 years, how excited he was to finally be playing in the majors.

There was a pause again and we were silently looking at each other. I was thinking how comfortable it was just to be quiet with him, how I didn’t feel like I needed to entertain him… when he leaned forward and kissed me.

It was gentle and tentative at first, then it became more aggressive and forceful. My mind went blank for a moment. I leaned toward him and he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer. His kiss just pulled me in. Any hesitance I’d had about him evaporated, and I knew I’d never be the same.

Buy Links

Amazon / B&N / Kobo / Smashwords

About the Author

AuthorPhoto_RookieSeason Veronica Robbins is a published author of both fiction and nonfiction who has been writing professionally for the last 20 years. In addition to writing fiction and poetry (her first love), she is also an expert grant writer and copy writer. When she’s not writing, she’s watching baseball, enjoying her children, reading, and trying to train her dog, Handsome, who so far has been very successful at training her. You can follow Veronica on Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads, Instagram, Pinterest, Google , or through her blog, A Writer’s Journey.

Giveaway

Veronica will be giving away a $25 Amazon/B&N gift card using the Rafflecopter form below. Don’t forget to follow the rest of the tour and comment; the more you comment, the better your chances of winning! All tour dates can be found here.

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Rafflecopter giveaway

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Published on January 30, 2015 01:00

January 29, 2015

A self-publisher reviews The Self-Publisher’s Ultimate Resource Guide

When I first heard about The Self-Publisher’s Ultimate Resource Guide by Joel Friedlander and Betty Kelly Sargent, I was excited. Joel is well-known in the indie publishing community as The Book Designer, and has been offering readers of his blog great, free resources and commentary for years (if you haven’t been there already, I highly recommend checking it out now). I figured this book would be a collection of many of those resources, along with his typically insightful and honest commentary.

When I first opened up the ebook and discovered it was little more than an index of resources, I was disappointed at first. I think the problem stems from the fact that people are going to misread the title, skipping the word “resource” and focusing in on “guide.”

“Guide” is not really the best word to describe this book, as a guide is more of a step-by-step walkthrough of a process, whereas this is a “resource guide,” aka a big list, or group of related lists. And therein lies this book’s real value.

More of a “Self-Publishers Resource Directory,” this book is stuffed with fantastic resources for self-publishers. There’s tons of information here, and it will take a reader days (if not weeks, or even months) to sift through it all. Basically, I’d describe it as the Yellow Pages of everything you’ll need as a self-publisher. It’s also similar to the Writers Market brand of directories, but aimed specifically at self-publishing resources, thereby making it a must-have for anyone in search of service providers – from cover design to layout and formatting to PR once your book is ready to launch. It’s a comprehensive list of things you’ll need whether you’re publishing a print book, ebook, or combination thereof.

The way the authors have split up different self-publishing tasks into Prepare, Publish, and Promote is a natural way to help readers keep the many areas of self-publishing under control, and provides a good overall structure for the guide.

That being said, there are still some things that need to be tweaked in order to make this resource guide the best it can be.

As several other Amazon reviews have noted, there is not enough in the way of detail concerning how and why the service providers listed were chosen. Are they award-winners in their field? Long-time experts? Friends of the authors? There’s no explanation as to the criteria that Joel and Betty have used in order to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak, and that was my biggest frustration with this book. They say that they have vetted all of these resources, but how did they do so? I would definitely like a more in-depth explanation of this in the preface, because I think a guide like this demands a certain level of transparency. Did the service providers included pay a fee to appear in this book, or is this a free listing? Have they been in business for a certain number of years to demonstrate their superiority? Explaining the criteria for inclusion is key, especially for readers who are new to the world of self-publishing and do not want to be taken for a ride by unscrupulous providers.

Pricing is also missing, and even if some services are not easy to price in flat fees (editing, for instance, can vary widely from one project to another, depending on multiple parameters), it would be helpful to have some kind of dollar sign rating to indicate a scale of affordability. (Let’s face it: we’re indie authors, and the deciding factor is almost always going to come down to price!) Something along the lines of the typical restaurant guidebook’s use of $ for least expensive to $$$$ for most expensive would be perfect.

I would also suggest including the number of years each company has been in business, or simply a founding date for each company, in order to help readers find more experienced providers, and/or justify more expensive services and products on offer.

Overall, I found the comprehensive nature of this book to be its main selling point, offering an overview of everything a successful self-publisher will need to invest in throughout the publication process. With the addition of the authors’ criteria for inclusion of different service providers, I think this could be the definitive self-publishing resource guide, and I look forward to reading that addition in the future.

If you’re a self-publisher looking for service providers, this book is an excellent resource, and well worth the $7.99 pricetag.

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Published on January 29, 2015 10:00

January 26, 2015

How the Kindle in 30 Challenge inspired my new series

This month has been fairly quiet for me, writing wise, as I’ve been working on setting my goals for writing and publishing this year.

One of my writing resolutions for 2015 includes writing more nonfiction books, as I know these tend to sell better than fiction, so I’ve been taking a class taught by Kristen Eckstein, aka The Book Ninja.

If you know anything at all about me, you know that I am a sucker for ninjas – both real and imaginary. Kristen has been publishing books for years, both in print and ebook formats, so she’s got plenty of ninja skills to share. I’ve been taking her Kindle in 30 Challenge, and as a result I’ve been developing some ideas for a couple of series that I plan to write.

What I’m currently working on is my first series, which I’ve dubbed the Sexy Self-Help series. These titles are aimed at helping people overcome problems with their love lives, covering all kinds of issues surrounding relationships with a humorous tone and plenty of actionable tips. For instance, some of the titles I’ve come up with include:

BDSM on a Budget
Missionary No More: Sexual Positions Set to Thrill
Kink for Couples: Exploring Fetishes and Fantasies With Your Lover
No More F*ing Weirdos: Online Dating for People Who Are Sick of Drama, Delusions, and Douchebags

I’ve decided to re-release my book, How to Suck Better, as the first title in this series, and will be adding more material to this quick-and-dirty guide soon. I’ll also be adding an oral sex book for guys, to cover all the bases, but I’m still brainstorming titles for that one.

If you want to dive right into this series, I’ve recently released the second book, Play With Me: Sex Toys from A to Z, which is currently available on Amazon for just 99¢. Go grab it before I bump up the price!

Finally, if you’ve got any other ideas you’d like to see me turn into a book in the Sexy Self-Help series, please let me know. You can email me to ask me any questions you’ve got about love, relationships, sex, finding a date, or anything else that relates to those general topics, and I’ll write a book about it. How cool is that?

Looking forward to hearing from you soon!

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Published on January 26, 2015 10:00

January 19, 2015

Literary mayhem unleashed: Best of Black Heart now online

What have I been up to for the past few weeks, instead of writing scintillating blog posts?

An excellent question, dear reader!

This is what I’ve been working on:

My online lit mag hit a big milestone in 2014 — 10 years of continuous publication! Since that’s pretty much amazing, I decided to finally put together a Best of Black Heart compilation of my favorite pieces of short fiction, poetry, and literary nonfiction from the past decade to celebrate.

You can currently grab a digital copy on the Black Heart website here for just $2.99.

For those of you who are more into print, I’m working on wrangling the interior to the appropriate specs, so a paperback version should be ready in a few weeks.

If, by some strange happenstance, you have never read Black Heart before, this would be the perfect place to start. I refer to our particular brand of writing as “literary mayhem,” as we embrace the weird and the wonderful. So check it out!

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Published on January 19, 2015 10:00

January 12, 2015

Calling all #erotica authors: Let’s write a book together!

Do you write erotica? Have you published a book (or several)? Want to work together to help cross-promote each other’s work?

Awesome!

Here’s my idea: We should build an erotic anthology together.

D.C. Thome and I are currently in the process of putting together an anthology of sexy snippets from established and up-and-coming (or cumming!) authors. We’re looking for excerpts from your published books that are about 2,000 words long, that can be republished in a sampler with pieces from approximately 10 authors total.

Think box set, without the box.

If you’ve got a book you’d like to excerpt for this (as-yet-untitled) project, please send us:

A link to your book on Amazon (or anywhere else where copies are sold);
A couple of sentences about what makes a story sexy, or what makes a sexy story great;
Your (100-word) bio; and
Any social media links you’d like us to include

We’re most easily contacted through this contact form, and we’ll be in touch shortly.

P.S. If your book has been traditionally published (as opposed to self-published), please be sure to contact your publisher before you email us about participating, as we are not lawyers, nor do we play them on TV. We are not looking to wrangle with rights issues, etc., so come prepped with a sign-off from them if necessary. Thanks!

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Published on January 12, 2015 10:00

January 1, 2015

The 7 Best Exercises for Lazy Writers

New Year, new you. This motto has been flying around social media for the past week or so, and since it’s New Year’s Day, I trust most of you are trying to pin down some resolutions that make sense, yes?

Guess what the number one annual resolution is?

If you said “to lose weight,” give yourself a cookie! (But only a virtual one if you want to actually lose weight this year.)

As a writer who spends most of her day with her butt planted firmly in an office chair, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that exercise is typically not high on my list of priorities. However, given the fact that sitting down all day apparently takes years off your life, I’ve been trying to figure out how to work in some daily activity that’ll get me moving beyond the worn carpet trail from my desk to my kitchen and back again.

Since you’re probably equally gung-ho to get in on this action, I give you my Top 7 Exercises for Lazy Writers. Put on your peppiest dance remix and let’s feel the burn!

7. Yoga

“yoga” image by Flickr user Lyn Tally

I myself hate yoga, but lots of writerly types swear by it. As it involves lots of stretching, focusing on your breathing, and mindfulness, it works best for those who like to take a leisurely approach to life. With minimal equipment required (i.e. a roll-up mat), a shit-ton of free how-to videos, and your closet full of yoga pants that have never been worn to an actual yoga class, you’re good to go – right after you check out this Yoga for Writers infographic. Om.

6. Jumping Rope

If you’re doubly cool, you can double dutch. (image by Flickr user John St John)

I bought a jump rope at my local pharmacy for $5. That’s how cheap this activity is. You can jump rope inside or outside, and take the rope with you wherever you go, so there’s no excuse not to do it even if you’re on the road. It’s also super simple: swing the rope, and jump over it. Repeat until tired. According to Fitness magazine, jumping rope for just 10 minutes burns 135 calories, so hop to it!

5. The Prison Workout

Not THAT kind of prison workout, LiLo! (“Lindsay Lohan Prison Workout” image by Flickr user Rob Tom)

The aptly named Prison Workout is designed to be performed within the confines of a prison cell, which means that a) you won’t need any expensive gear, and b) you have absolutely no excuses for not working out, because no matter how small your apartment is, it’s definitely bigger than a prison cell! The idea is to push, pull and lift your own body weight in order to get into top shape, so you’ll be doing pushups, pull-ups, squats, lunges, dips, jumping jacks and – everyone’s favorite – burpees. Although this workout is typically preferred by men (and, indeed, I found an article about it in Men’s Fitness, lauded by none other than Machete himself, Danny Trejo), ladies can also benefit from these straightforward exercises without worrying about “bulking up.”

4. Treadmill Desk

“DIY Treadmill Desk” image by Flickr user Heather

I personally think the treadmill desk is a stupid fad, but for some of my writer pals, this exercise is just the right speed. The main drawback to using a treadmill desk is – you guessed it – procuring a treadmill. Luckily, lots of people tend to get ‘em for Christmas and have already gotten pissed off with the damn things by New Year’s, so you can probably find an inexpensive one on Craigslist right about now. If you’ve got a couple thousand bucks burning a hole in your pocket, you can buy a treadmill desk ready-made, but if you’re like most writers, you’ll need to DIY that shit. Here’s how to do it for under $20.

3. Stationary Biking

The only thing cooler than biking is blending up an awesome smoothie WHILE biking. (image via Flickr user Eddy Milfort)

The only thing cooler than biking on the beach is blending up an awesome smoothie at the same time. (image via Flickr user Eddy Milfort)

I love biking, but unfortunately I don’t have a bike in my life right now. So although it’s nowhere near as exhilarating as feeling the wind whipping your face as you careen down a sweet, smooth trail alongside the beach, hitting the stationary bike at my gym does the trick when I want to burn some calories, stat. According to Get-Fit Guy, stationary biking can burn anywhere from 500 to 1,000 calories per hour, depending on the intensity you choose. The only drawback? You’ve gotta get on the upright bike, not that lazy-ass recumbent bike we writers love to use while simultaneously getting some reading done. Bummer!

2. Under-Desk Pedaling

Image via DeskCycle

Wanna burn calories while you read, write or just plain surf the ‘net? The under-desk exercise bike – aka a recumbent bicycle without the bulk – is the lazy writer’s exercise you want. At $159, the DeskCycle is the most highly recommended (though pricy) version on the market, but if you want to give it a whirl for less, I’ve seen assorted brands available for as little as $30 on Amazon.

1. Walking

Hell, you don't even need to have clothes on to walk... (

Hell, you don’t even need to have clothes on to go for a walk. (“Beach walk” image by Flickr user Nicu Buculei)

“Walking?” You’re saying. Yes, motherfucker, walking. It’s the perfect exercise for the lazy writer. It’s free, it’s easy, you don’t need anything special to do it, you can do it anywhere – even inside your own house, if you’re truly lazy – and unless both of your legs are broken or you’re physically paralyzed, there’s no excuse not to do it. The ideal walking regimen aims for 10,000 steps per day. You can do it all at once, or break it up throughout the day. All you have to do is hit 10k – just like your word count. Hey-o!

In case you need a whole book devoted to the subject of walking 10k steps per day, check out S.J. Scott’s 10,000 Steps Blueprint.

(S)EXTRA CREDIT: SEX

An unusually enlightened sentiment from your friendly neighborhood dollar store (image by Flickr user Simon)

Guys and gals, I write erotica. Obviously sex is my #1 exercise, lazy writer or not! You can get all acrobatic about it, like those Kama Sutra nerds, or you can just get your cardio burn on with a quickie every morning. Start applying those sex toys for a marathon session and you’re burning at least 144 calories per half hour (or so Woman’s Day claims). You know this is what you really wanna do with that newly toned bod of yours in 2015, so why wait? Get back in bed and start huffing and puffing until you blow your lover’s mind.

What’s your favorite lazy writer exercise?

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Published on January 01, 2015 08:00

December 30, 2014

#Top10Tuesday: Best ways for writers and book lovers to ring in the New Year

I’m not a huge fan of staying up late in a drunken haze, singing “Auld Lang Syne” (who is this old man Lang with a sign, anyway?), watching a disco ball drop in Times Square and kissing strangers in the cold, so the typical North American New Year’s Eve traditions don’t really resonate with me.

That’s why I decided to make a list of the Top 10 Ways For Writers and Book Lovers to Ring in the New Year. These also work if you’re a bit socially phobic, or simply need a few ways to spice up your annual routine of watching When Harry Met Sally for the 949th time.

So without further ado, onward to the ideas!

10. Attend a reading by one of your favorite authors

Okay, so most bookstores and libraries actually tend not to schedule events on New Year’s Eve for reasons I can’t entirely fathom, but guess what? There’s this awesome little thing called The Internet, and it’s full of videos and recordings by all of your favorite authors! Whether you prefer genre or literary fiction, there’s sure to be something out there to suit your fancy. All it takes is a bit of Googling. Or you can enjoy the video above, which has lots of interesting info about Margaret Atwood, who recently celebrated her 75th birthday.

9. Throw a literary-themed party and dress up as your favorite author
book-cupcakes

Bookish cupcakes image shamelessly stolen from Pinterest

If you’re the host, be sure to include a bookish cake – or cupcakes like the ones pictured above – to get everyone into the proper spirit of bookish mayhem. I would also encourage cross-dressing, so the guys can show up as their favorite female authors and the gals can get all hoity-toity with them as their favorite macho male authors.

8. Write your resolutions in a nice new notebook

Typo mini notebook

Breaking in new notebooks is one of my favorite New Year’s traditions. Get a pretty one and stop giving a shit about how bad your handwriting is already!

7. Brainstorm a new book

Brainstorming image by Flickr user Crispin Blackall

A writer’s work is never done — not even on New Year’s Eve! Take advantage of all the positive energy and fresh new pages in that notebook to brainstorm ideas for a new book to be written in 2015.

Here’s a prompt I made up that’s sure to inspire:

A writer, brainstorming her latest novel on New Year’s Eve, is invited at the last minute to a New Year’s Eve party thrown by her secret crush… will she finally find love as they’re thrown together in a remote cabin during a freak snowstorm?!

6. Imitate Hemingway: Write drunk (edit sober)

Write-Drunk-Edit-Sober

Never written drunk before? You’ve been missing out! And what better time to give it a whirl than on New Year’s Eve – a celebration dedicated to champagne kisses and letting go of your inhibitions? Silence your inner editor with some booze, and let your creative mind howl at the moon. Put on some jazz and try Kerouac’s automatic writing method. Experiment on the page. Just don’t get so drunk that you’re too busy worshipping the porcelain god to hold a pen.

6. Build a bonfire

“Moonlit firepit” image by Flickr user Martin von Ottersen

No, you’re not going to burn books (you are a book lover, aren’t you?) – you’re going to toss the old year’s regrets and misfortunes into the flames. Write down everything that bummed you out or pissed you off about 2014, then toss that old news into the fire and let it all go. (This is, incidentally, also a great way to let go of past relationships or any other negative energy that’s been plaguing you, and can be done any time, not just for New Year’s Eve.)

5. Hit the beach

“Light and Love” image by Flickr user Nathan Rupert

Alternately, if you live in a part of the world where it’s not currently snowing, dump your 2014 regrets into the sea. You can write them in the sand at the edge of the beach, then watch the tides slowly erase them for a truly eco-conscious way to start the New Year off right.

4. Fuck it, Dude, let’s go bowling

the_big_lebowski

This is actually one of my favorite ways to spend New Year’s Eve (as detailed on my blog Shoestring Austin), because it’s both cheap and fun. Booze, bar food, a little exercise and friendly competition – what’s not to like? It may not be particularly bookish (unless, of course, you decided to dress up like characters from your favorite book), but it sure is a good time.

3. Typewriter tip tip tip

“Remington Typewriter” image by Flickr user Tim Hamilton

Step one: Find a typewriter (try your local Craigslist).

Step two: Bust it out at a party so that everyone can write you some groovy New Year’s wishes, resolutions, or drunken messages.

Step three: Typecast it on your blog the next day as a reminder of your pals’ incriminating remarks creativity.

2. Start a book club

That’s right: when you’re out partying, rope all your drunk friends into joining your new book club! To make sure they actually follow through on their booze-fueled promise, let them each pick one title to share with the group once they’ve sobered up.

1. Read your favorite book again – or start a brand new one – in bed

Thanks to fellow writer Jessica McHugh (who, by the way, has a brand new website, mailing list and forthcoming vlog), I realized I’ve rung in the past two New Year’s by reading her books. I’m going for the threepeat this year, as I (unbelievably) still haven’t read my signed copy of The Green Kangaroos. What better way to start off a brand new year than by reading some dystopian fiction? Hey, if you start off in the darkest place there is, your year is pretty much guaranteed to get better from there, am I right?

So tell me, what are your favorite ways to ring in the New Year?

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Published on December 30, 2014 10:00

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