Golda Poretsky's Blog, page 6

Ask Golda! Dealing With Body Shaming at the Doctor’s Office

We’re talking weight stigma at the doctor’s office all week this week. So check out my new Ask Golda vlog post below!

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Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.

Ask Golda! Dealing With Body Shaming at the Doctor’s Office originally appeared on Body Love Wellness (http://www.bodylovewellness.com) on September 26, 2013.

Your Fat Is (Allegedly) Killing You!!!: Weight Stigma And The Dangerous Nocebo Effect

When you work pretty exclusively with plus-sized women, like I do, you hear some harrowing tales of stigma.

To be honest, though, the most horrifying and enraging stories I hear often take place in a doctor’s office.

I’ve noticed that many of my twenty-something clients were told at some point in their lives by some white-coated medical professional that they’d never reach the age of twenty-five or thirty. It seems like the majority of my clients, regardless of age, have been told things like, “Your fat is killing you” and/or “If you don’t lose ___ number of pounds, you WILL get diabetes, heart disease, etc.”

Not only are these statements patently false, but there’s a major argument to be made that the statements themselves are dangerous.

First, Do No Harm? Antifat Bias Is Not Just Anecdotal

Scratch the surface of Internet fat blogs and you will find hundreds and hundreds of accounts of mistreatment and misdiagnosis of fat people by doctors. What you’ll notice from these stories is that the patients’ fat gets the blame for a host of symptoms and diagnoses.

There are many problems with this reality, but one of the main ones is that when the diagnosis is obesity, then the recommended cure is weight loss. Since weight loss itself fails at least 95% of the time, has no permanent health benefits, has its own negative effects, and often has nothing to do with the patient’s problem itself, fat patients are struggling to get the care they need.

All of this would be bad enough in a stigma-free situation, but the doctor-fat-patient relationship is rarely stigma-free. Study after study has shown that doctors and other health professionals tend to view fat patients negatively, commonly believing that they’re lazy, indulgent, and non-compliant solely on the basis of their weight. These beliefs about fat patients affect the exam and diagnosis process. More than two-thirds of fat patients report being stigmatized by a doctor because of their weight. As a result, fatter patients delay preventative screenings and doctors’ visits due to the negative treatment they receive.

The Dangerous Health Effects Of Stigma

It’s scary to think about the misdiagnoses and ill treatment that results from the stigmatization of fat patients, but what about the dangers of stigma itself?

More and more research is showing that the shame and stress of stigma has serious deleterious effects. Researchers have found that the pain of fat stigma is leading to higher incidents of depression, anxiety, and low self esteem among fat people. Perhaps even more important from a public health perspective, there is evidence that many of the diseases that get correlated with obesity (like type 2 diabetes and hypertension) may be correlated with obesity because of the stigma of being fat, not because of the fat itself. In other words, fat isn’t causing your friend’s diabetes, though the stress of the stigma of being fat may be.

Despite this growing evidence, doctors, public health officials, and many, many laypeople continue to promote the “shame is healthy and will make you skinny!” paradigm. Fat and the fear of fat is used to promote everything from drinking less soda to getting kids to be more active. Those aren’t necessarily bad goals, but drinking a lot of soda and not getting much activity isn’t just an issue for fat people. Couching these issues in those terms vilifies fat people as being dangerous to the community, and allows not fat people to assume that all fat people have bad habits.

In terms of public health, we have to ask ourselves if this messaging is helpful or harmful, considering that a large portion of the public is fat, and considering that mental health is an important aspect of health. Is it healthful to demonize a vast segment of the populace based on how they look? I would contend that it isn’t. Unfortunately, this sort of messaging feeds into the ongoing shaming of fat people in the medical environment and elsewhere.

What About The Nocebo Effect In Particular?

Fat activist Marilyn Wann, has been talking about the nocebo effect in relation to fat health for years, but for some reason it finally crystallized for me this month when I was reading Lissa Rankin’s book, Mind Over Medicine. A nocebo is an inherently harmless substance or thing that creates a harmful effect.

Dr. Rankin notes a number of studies where an otherwise harmless placebo created a negative response in a patient when a legitimate medical professional told the patient that the placebo would induce a negative effect. She mentions studies where people thought they were getting chemo but weren’t, and 30% lost their hair. A group of patients were told that a sugar-water solution would make them throw up, and 80% vomited. Three quarters of patients in one study who received an antihistamine placebo got very drowsy from the placebo. Another study examined asthmatics who inhaled a harmless saline solution that they were told contained allergens. The patients felt short of breath, wheezed, and experienced actual bronchoconstriction.

In other words, the power of suggestion is, well, powerful.

So I wonder, what are doctors, medical professionals, the media, and public health officials doing when they tell fat people things like, “You’re fat, so you’re going to get diabetes/have a heart attack/die at age ___?” Aside from the fact that they’re often wrong, aside from the fact that (newsflash) thin people get sick and die too, what sort of influence are they having in creating disease? How dangerous are these words, especially when coupled with the legitimacy of a white lab coat?

Next Steps

I would love to direct this section toward the actually dangerous purveyors of the nocebo effect. Unfortunately, I’ve been writing about these issues for over five years and have little hope that anything I say will have an effect on the medical or media establishment. All I can say is that it’s important to look at your biases and make sure you’re not creating disease and reinforcing shame.

So I’m directing this toward my fellow fatties. I hate to put more pressure on you, but I know you’re used to it. I just ask that you take the medical “truths” that you hear with a big grain of salt, especially if a diagnosis is based on little more than “your obesity.” If a doctor tells you your fat is killing you, do your best to get another doctor. If the news has a report on why your fat is killing you, it is completely safe to ignore it. Your fat is not killing you. A diet or bariatric surgery is not going to save you.

And as best you can, don’t swallow the nocebo!

Get great body love tips and more when you subscribe:


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Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.

Your Fat Is (Allegedly) Killing You!!!: Weight Stigma And The Dangerous Nocebo Effect originally appeared on Body Love Wellness (http://www.bodylovewellness.com) on September 23, 2013.

Announcing The HAES® Master Class Anniversary Special!

I can’t believe it’s been a year since I brought together 16 amazing speakers to talk about Health At Every Size at the HAES® Master Class!

In honor of this anniversary, I’m running a very special deal on access to all 16 HAES® Master Class recordings!

Now through midnight Eastern on Sunday, September 22nd, you can get the whole HAES® Master Class for just $47 (more than half off the regular price)!

You don’t need a special code or anything, so check it out and get your 16 recordings now!

Click Here To Get All The Info + Buy Your Ticket!

Announcing The HAES® Master Class Anniversary Special! originally appeared on Body Love Wellness (http://www.bodylovewellness.com) on September 20, 2013.

Ask Golda! How Can I Exercise In A More Body Positive Way?

Hi there!

I’ve decided to do some vlogging! I’m answering questions that people asked me over on my facebook page. I think you’ll really dig it.

Here’s my first video. Be gentle with me. :)

For more support with this topic, check out this post.

Get great body love tips and more when you subscribe:

Name:

Email:

Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.

Ask Golda! How Can I Exercise In A More Body Positive Way? originally appeared on Body Love Wellness (http://www.bodylovewellness.com) on September 16, 2013.

Fall Into Body Love This Fall!

If you’re like I used to be, you’re probably thrilled that the summer is ending. Soon you’ll be able to wear a sweater without being sweaty. No more spending hours trying to figure out what to wear to a pool party.

But it’s not like your body image issues go away in the Fall.

You’re probably still finding yourself:
Struggling to get dressed in the morning
Worrying about your weight and thinking about how you should change it
Thinking of ways to cover up your body and camouflage “problem areas”
Wondering if the new folks you meet will judge you for your body
Asking yourself when your mother will stop nagging you about losing (or gaining) weight

If you relate to this, I hope you’ll join me for my latest, super-affordable coaching program, Fall Into Body Love.

You can get all of the details here! Hurry, because we start next week!

Fall Into Body Love This Fall! originally appeared on Body Love Wellness (http://www.bodylovewellness.com) on September 9, 2013.

Let’s All Put Our Titties Up For Bridget Everett! (Interview)

Bridget Everett (Photo Credit: David Kimelman)

The crowd is energized. The stage is lit up, and Bridget Everett’s back up band, The Tender Moments, is on stage. We’re all waiting for her, and then we hear her big, gorgeous voice over the P.A. system:

“My mind is telling me no!

But my body . . . my body
. . . is telling me yes!”

Bridget comes out on stage wearing a silver sequined tube top and skirt, her big breasts nearly spilling over. She’s larger than life—all big boozy personality and overwhelming star quality. She and her band go right into one of her new songs, “We’re Gonna Fuck Some Shit Up,” and you know you’re along for a great ride.

Those R. Kelly lyrics that she opens with pretty much describe the experience of one of her shows. Your mind is definitely telling you “No.” Did she really just sing that song with her tits out? Did she really just allude to keeping fetuses in jars in her apartment? Did she really just motorboat that dude through the whole chorus of her song, “Titties?” And your body, filled with laughter and joy for her performance, answers a resounding, “Yes!”

It’s no wonder that Bridget’s star has been rising. Time Out Magazine called her one of the funniest people in New York. She’s got a monthly gig at Joe’s Pub, a new album coming out, and she’s been touring more and more. You may have seen her on Two Broke Girls, Sex and The City, or, like I did, on the season finale of Inside Amy Schumer on Comedy Central. (Check out the sketch she’s in at 01:45 here). I loved her in the “Sex Tips” sketch, but I was completely blown away by her “Titties” performance, which closed out the show. Seeing a plus sized woman in a see-through, barely there outfit singing about how you should love whatever kind of titties you may have is, well, kind of my thing.

I just had to know more about her, and I knew that my blog readers and podcast listeners needed to know her too. So I got in touch with Bridget that night on Facebook and made plans to interview her at her apartment in Manhattan. Below is our complete interview (which you can listen to as well, in all of its embarrassing fangirl glory, on my podcast here.) We talked about body image, being a plus sized performer, how she got started in cabaret, acting, and more.

Golda: Can you talk a little bit about how you got your start in cabaret?

Bridget: Yeah, I started when I moved to the city, I came here as a music theater person. But, just based on my age, how I look, my body size, I wasn’t really a chorus girl. But, I came here and I got a job doing children’s theater, and I was like “I just don’t want to do this. This is not me.” So, I started going to karaoke bars. And, actually, I was listening to Kiki and Herb on the road. Do you know Kiki and Herb?

No. Wait. Are they the ones that have been around since the 70′s, Kiki and Herb?

No, that’s Peaches and Herb. Kiki and Herb is a real popular cabaret duo. And I was friends with both of them. We were in Washington, D.C. and went to go watch them and I was singing in a karaoke bar, and Kenny, who was Herb, was like “Oh my God, you can really sing!” and I was like “yeah.” You know, it’s like when you move to New York and somebody’s like, “What do you do?” and you’re like, “Well, I’m a singer” but nobody really believes you until you have like, a resume, or whatever. So, it started there. And then we got hooked up with this guy Jason Eagan at Ars Nova. And, from there, I just started writing stories and singing songs, and Kenny and I would do covers and it sort of just grown from there. It’s taken a long time, but it’s been cool. Every year it just gets a little better.

That’s awesome. So, it’s interesting, you tried to do more of the traditional musical theater thing, but you took that sort of restriction, the fact that people weren’t seeing you as this, and did something even better.

Well, it was out of necessity. I mean the thing is, when I moved to New York, I saw Kiki and Herb, and I saw Mariah Hill, and this drag queen Sweetie, and just like all sorts of different downtown performers, like Dirty Martini, and I was like, “Oh my god, there’s all these people that are writing their own story,” and I could do that too. So, I started with Kenny and I progressed to working with other people through the years, and I’ve learned [that] the more I embrace who I am and what I want to say and how wild I want to go, the better it is. I’m happier, the audience loves it, and I would have been so unfulfilled if I had stuck with theater. It’s not that I don’t love it, it just wasn’t getting to the core.

So, your material. You basically just take stuff from your life story and that’s how you develop it, right?

Yeah, usually it starts with something that happened in my life, and I write more about it. I mean, it used to be completely true, but sometimes, I add stuff because there’s only so much I can remember (I drink a lot of wine). Or someone says “Oh I think this is something in your voice, what could you do with that?” But mostly, I just stick to stories about myself–songs that apply to my life. I used to only do covers, but then when I started a band, one of the guys in the band said “You should be writing more originals.” I want to do an album, my dream is to have my own album, so I was like “let’s do covers. What covers do you want to do?” And it’s like, no, they need to be original. And, so, I just started writing songs. And collaborating with the guys in my band. Some I wrote by myself, some I wrote with them. But, I just did it because I had to. It’s become the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

Me & Bridget

Do you want to talk a little bit about putting your band together and how that all happened?

Yeah. It was super cool. I used to co-host this show called “Our Hit Parade” with Neil Medlyn and Kenny Mellman. We were there for a soundcheck one day, and basically our show . . . if you go on the internet, there’s so many great videos. People cover pop songs in their own voice and their own style. We had all these famous people doing songs from crazy downtown artists to visual artists. It was a really cool night. Anyway, I was there for a soundcheck one day and I had asked Adam from my softball team (Adam is Ad-Rock from Beastie Boys), and I was like “Hey”, and he was like “How you doing?” and I was like “Great. I just booked a show at Joe’s and I’m going to start a band.” Like I was saying earlier, book it and do it. I always book a show and then I figure it out. I have to give myself a deadline. So he was like, “Well, uh . . .” and I was like “What do you mean well, uh?” and he was like “Well, I’m a professional musician.’ So I was like “Are you saying you want to be in my band? Don’t say it if you don’t mean it!” So, he was the first person to join my band, and then I asked my good friend Mike Jackson, who is a great guitarist, Carmine [Covelli], who’s a good friend mine, and then I needed a piano player, so Mike suggested Matt Ray. He’s a pianist for a lot of downtown people, Taylor Mack, and all kinds of people. Adam, Carmine, and I are all on the softball team together. He also plays in Julie Ruin, which is Kathleen Hanna’s band. Kathleen is Adam’s wife, so it’s all sort of this family. The guys have been so encouraging. For instance, the “Titties” song. I just found out that my mom had breast cancer. It was like “Fuck!” So I just started seeing all these different kinds of titties because my brother used to say she had beaver tail tits, and I thought that was really funny. So I was at softball, at Catch Club one day (which is a thing I do with Murray Hill, and Neal Medlyn and Adam were there. (We play catch and do drills. It’s super fun.) And I was out in the field shagging fly balls and I was singing “You got them some some titties/put ‘em in the air” and I go to Adam afterwards and tell him “I have this idea for this song. It’s stupid, right?” and he’s like “Nope. Sounds like a hit. Write it!” and that’s sort of like, what he has done, and the guys in my band are just like “Oh, this is ridiculous! This is awesome!” So, it’s been really cool being around a group of people that embraced the weirdo in me, and the sex maniac, and the crazy thing, and go with it. So, I think our band is becoming successful because it’s the exact voice that I always wanted to have out, and they are helping me spread my wings, so it’s really cool.

That’s amazing! I love, too, that you met these people doing something else that you like.

Yeah, the whole softball team is like, Murray Hill and Neal Medlyn, and all these performers, and this guy from Morningwood, Adam, and there are actors, it’s a really creative group of people, and everybody is always looking for ways to work with each other, which is really cool. There’s video artists and all sorts of stuff, so it’s been the best. One of the guys that plays third base comes and videotapes all my shows for me. It’s a real family, and the reason I went in the first place was because I was going through this depression. The show that I had wasn’t working out the way that I wanted it to. I had a death in the family. I was really depressed. Murray Hill’s like, “Kid, you gotta get out of the house. Come to softball.” It literally changed my life. It sounds silly that I go out and meet these people, and it’s not just that, it’s like everybody wants to do something new, fun, and cool. It’s great. Sometimes there are calls on the field that I don’t agree with but we work it out. We get back on stage together and it’s all fun.

To go back to your song, “Titties,” what’s so funny is that when you go to iTunes, it’s spelled “T*****s”.

My manager called me and said, “You know, iTunes won’t put the word titties on.” I’m like, “Seriously? Titties?” So I said, maybe we’ll call it “Put ‘Em Up” because that’s another thing. But I slept on it and was like, “No, fuck that. C’mon. It’s just tits.” That’s my whole sort of motto: “It’s just tits.” It really is no big deal. I think some people are freaked out by me throwing my body around on stage but I’m like, literally, it’s just tits. And you grew up sucking on one to get what you need and now you’re getting them in a different way.

One of the things that drew me to you was like, here’s this woman, you’re a big woman, and you come out on the stage and you’re wearing these crazy things and you’re so embodied. You’re so into it. How do people react to that? Do you get people who are freaked out?

Occasionally, there will be someone who gets a little freaked out but more often than not, people come up to me afterwards like “Oh my god! I’ve never seen anything like that You make me feel better about me!” That is really incredible. As much as I want the audience to have a good time, the beast that gets unleashed onstage is really just from years of just not being able to figure it out, and singing is the one thing that always meant the most to me. It’s like the love of my life, not to be corny, and for years and years and years I had no outlet to be able to speak in the way that I know how to speak. Even when I’m going to parties sometimes, I get nervous. I can get socially awkward. When I’m on stage, it’s how I feel most comfortable. I don’t even understand why but when I’m on stage I just feel like a beast, like a superhero. I feel very in control. I’m definitely comfortable with my body on a day-to-day basis. I’m proud of who I am and what I am, but on stage it’s just a whole other thing. I don’t even know how to explain. Someone else just takes over.

Is there room for improvisation? It seems like some stuff is just improvised, like you are just in the moment and you’re just like, “OK, I’m going to rip my shirt off or I’m going to do whatever” Is that right? Is some of it improvised?

It’s largely improvised. I definitely have beats that I hit on for all of them, but when I was doing Our Hit Parade, I would just come up with an idea, and I would sit in the bathtub before the show, shave my legs, listen to a song and just be like “Okay, what am I going to talk about?” Then it would just all start to come together. But now, I’m trying to release an album and gearing up towards being on the road more. I want to have it tight, I get really nervous. I have sort of stage fright. As soon as I’m on stage I’m okay, but right beforehand I’m thinking “Why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? Why am I doing this?” But then I go on and it’s always fine. But, yeah, there is a lot of improvisation. I certainly know at some point, “Well, I’m probably going to go out into the audience here, but I don’t know what I’m going to do, or what’s going to happen.” I think people sometimes think the people I bring up on stage or who I mess around with are plants, but it’s never like that. In fact, I stay away from people that I know.

Really? Wow. It’s more fun with someone you don’t know, right? You don’t know anything about them. You don’t know where it’s going to go.

Until somebody shanks me, it’s fun.

It seems like it’s a pretty okay crowd at Joe’s Pub. Right? No one’s going to shank you there.

Yeah. Usually, anywhere like I’m opening for Amy, her crowds are always really cool. So I’m fortunate.

How did you end up working with Amy?

She says that we’ve known each other for years . . . I think we have. But she said she came up to me on the street one time and was like, “Oh I love your stuff” and I was a bitch to her. But we reconnected a few years ago at the Montreal Comedy Festival. They have that big comic festival called “Just For Laughs” and we just sort of stayed in contact and I really enjoy her company and I thinks she’s super cool. She wrote me a while ago and said “Hey, I’m gonna go do some shows in Atlanta, do you want to come?” and I said “Yeah, sure.” I thought it would just be that. Fun, hanging out, doing some shoes. I’d open for her. From there, it progressed. I did a lot of other dates with her and she put me in her show and she really looks out for her friends and is very generous, and she is like “I want people to see you,” so she had me sing my song on her show, which is really great. I closed this season, which is incredible. It’s very generous of her. I’m really grateful.

You were so funny in that skit too!

Oh, thanks!

Backstage after the show. From left: Leslie Medlik, Bridget, and me.

Do you want to do more acting?

Yeah, I love acting, but I’m horrible at auditioning and that’s another reason why I do a stage show because I have the job. If I book it and Bridget Everett is supposed to be there then I’ve got to show up. But I have had some acting jobs and it’s mostly people just giving me something because they know what I can do. But if I go into a room to audition, literally I have diarrhea for like four hours beforehand.

Oh gosh. I can only imagine. That’s gotta be so nerve-wracking. So, I brought up the “Titties” song because to me it’s this really body-positive song. In the work I do (Health At Every Size, Body Acceptance, Fat Acceptance, all that stuff) one of the concepts is body diversity. Like there is a diversity of bodies in the world and wherever you are in that spectrum, that’s perfect, you don’t have to do anything else. One of the things I like about the “Titties” song is that the lyrics are you got these kind of titties, put ‘em up, these kind . . .

I honestly wasn’t trying to write any sort of body positive anthem or whatever. I think whenever you set out to make a message, its going to be difficult to do it. You know what I mean? It was sort of a happy accident. But, like I mentioned before, my mom had breast cancer. She’s fine, but it just made me think of how we would always joke about her—all of our different bodies. My sister had a B-Cup and a C-Cup, like two different sizes boobs, and I think I have great tits. My mom’s had dropped and we’d called her “beaver tail tits.” I think I love the individuality of what people’s bodies look like. There’s so many different [bodies]. It was always just fun in my house. My mom always made me feel like I was beautiful because of what I looked like, not in spite of what I looked like, you know what I mean?

Yes! That’s a big deal!

I feel like that was important and I love the message of “Titties,” you know, I think that there is a specialness and uniqueness in every different style of them. I really do. I think it’s really funny, almost, how there’s so many different shapes and sizes. It’s fantastic. And it also gives me an excuse to motorboat people.

That’s great. It’s funny, too, because we only, at least in the media, see this one sort of body type. I think that’s why it’s so exciting for people who only see that stuff to see people with different bodies doing really cool stuff, whatever it is. Talk to me about body confidence. It sounds like onstage you’re really just go into it. You’re really in your body. Do you have any advice for people who want to be more body confident or who what to be more in their body, whatever kind they have?

Well, not really, because as confident as I am onstage, and confident as I am most days, I’m still human and I have moments, I think that’s everybody. I think it’s probably difficult for some people to love the skin they’re in and I don’t know what you say to somebody to change their mind about that. I hope that sometime,if somebody sees me onstage, stripping down to almost nothing, they will see that it’s just a body and hopefully that can give somebody some comfort somewhere. People write me sometimes and ask me that, and I don’t know what to say really. All I can say is that my body is not perfect in the way that you would see on the cover of, what’s that magazine? Maxim, or some shit like that. But, there’s plenty of people that see this [her body] and think it’s great, you know? And there are plenty of people who would see you walking down the street and think you’re great, and so on and so forth, if that matters to you. But ultimately, it has to be what you think about yourself. I oftentimes accentuate the positive. I know what I like about my body and my looks and my personality, and I lead with those. But, it’s tough. It’s not easy for anybody.

It’s pretty helpful to have people hear that, too, that someone who seems so body confident onstage maybe has their moments, you know what I mean? So, it sounds like part of it is that you are just really enjoying what you are doing now and that helps with body confidence. Because you’re so into it, that the other stuff is just like, “Who cares?”

My friend, Neal Medlyn, performed years ago, and he came out in just a sweater. No panties, nothing. And I’m just like, “This is awesome! This is what I’ve been looking for!” You know, when I was little, my mom would walk around naked all the time, and she’s a big girl and whatever, and I just thought it was fantastic. I grew up in a locker room because I was a swimmer, and there were all different kinds of bodies and different kinds of people and you see all different kinds of shapes. I think the human body is really cool and there is something pretty spectacular about everybody.

Where do you get your costumes, your clothes? Are those just things you pick out, or are they made for you?

My friend Larry Krone, who is a visual artist, he makes it. It’s called “The House of Larreon.” As a big girl, I would always look for stuff to wear, and I would go to Macy’s, to the big girl floor, and to the urban thing, and I bought a lot of the House of Dereon ([by] Tina Knowles, Beyonce’s mom) . So Larry started making me things and called it the House of Larreon, and that’s all I wear. So, we get together, and I’ll buy some fabric and I’ll say, “Oh, I just got this, so you’ll have it.” He’ll just call me like “Oh no! I’ve done it again!” We just have the best time. He’ll model the things and send them to me. He’s also done wonders for my confidence, you know? He’s always like “Oh! This is gonna look so great on you!” He’s just part of that community of friends that I have. Everybody makes each other feel so good and it doesn’t feel like bullshit. It feels really real. We’re all excited to be working with each other. You can’t help but feel great. Like, when I wear his stuff that’s one of a kind and it’s unique and cool, and we have this thing called The Pussy Dress, and we have one called The Titty Dress. And they’re just meant to show things. Because we think it’s funny and cool. So we just make the things that we want to see. He’s great. I love him.

What’s your favorite karaoke bar? Do you still go, or are you done with that now?

No, I love karaoke! I just went to Sing Sing recently for my friend Julie Klausner’s birthday, that was fun. But the place we used to go is right around the corner from her, it’s called “The Parlor.” It’s like this Scottish bar, and they had two karaoke nights and I don’t know how or why that ended up being the karaoke hotspot for years, but we went there like every Sunday for about five years. It was really fun. I had parties there, all sorts of people came and I just loved it! I haven’t been in a while because I’ve been pretty busy, but I was just walking by there the other day and thought “I have to go to The Parlor and do some karaoke!” Karaoke is fun!

It really is!

A lot of people think it’s sad but I think it’s fun.

Where can people find you, if they want to find you?

I’m on Twitter, Facebook, and I have a Tumblr. But in the future, I have my monthly gig at Joe’s Pub. I’m right now trying to write a new show for them. I got a grant from them. It’s an NEA grant that goes to the public theater through Joe’s Pub. It’s called “New York Voices.” So they commissioned a series from three New York artists to do something. I’m working on that with some friends, mainly Scott Wittman and I’m also working with Marc Shaiman and Adam, from my band. To try to come up with some new material. Hopefully, I can. And just playing various shows, wherever they’ll take me. There are some cool things coming up that I’m really excited about.

Do you know when your album is coming out? Are you still working on that?

It’s pretty much done. I think October 1st we’re gonna release it, and we will release a couple singles in the meantime. “Titties” is online. We’re releasing this other song called “What I Gotta Do,” which is, I think—if there is one hit off the album, then that’s the hit. But I released “Titties” because it was coming out on Amy’s show and I wanted to have people have a place to . . . if they wanted to put their hands on it, they could. But I love “Titties” too. I like to write songs that you can listen to with the top down. You know what I mean?

Yeah! I love songs that are funny and great at the same time! Songs that are a little funny but that you can really groove to.

It’s funny because a lot of people are like “How would you describe your act?” I’m like “Uch!” Cabaret feels like sort of a dated thing, even though I feel like there’s a total evolution of cabaret happening, that’s been happening for some years now. But, I’m also like “well, it’s funny music.” Not like somebody doing three chords and really simple rhymes and like, corny. Ours are more like songs and club bangers. So, I think we’re an interesting hybrid that, well, I’m sure it exists somewhere, but not really in my life.

Well, this great! I had sort of a joke question for you which was–do you need a back-up singer? I have a lot of availability! That’s my dream!

Nice! I love it!

I think people who listen to my podcast will just love you! So, I’m excited!

We did alright, right?

Yeah, we did great!

Hopefully, you agree! Follow Bridget at @bridgeteverett on Twitter to keep up to date on her shows!

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Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.

(Listen to this post here, or subscribe on itunes.)

Let’s All Put Our Titties Up For Bridget Everett! (Interview) originally appeared on Body Love Wellness (http://www.bodylovewellness.com) on September 3, 2013.

I’ll Just Be Here, Hanging Out in My BreastNest (Review)

I was really excited when Susan, the developer of the BreastNest, contacted me about doing a review. After all, I’d seen Marianne Kirby’s post about it and it looked really comfy.

As someone who works from home 90% of the time, I’m lucky that I don’t have to wear a bra for much of my day. That being said, the BreastNest kind of feels like not wearing a bra while giving a bit of support and preventing underboob sweatiness (a/k/a the scourge of the the big-breasted and braless).

One of the nice things about the unstructured feel of the BreastNest is that it doesn’t negatively affect your blood and lymph circulation the way my favorite bra probably does.

To be totally honest, I probably wouldn’t wear the Breastnest on its own outside of the house or even under clothes, because I feel like it makes my breasts look extra droopy. However, I think it might look better on someone who is larger than a DD and/or has perkier boobs. Or, perhaps, on someone who doesn’t care about having droopy boobs in public, in which case I completely respect your choice and you should definitely go for it!

It is, however, completely and totally awesome for working from home. I pretty much don’t feel like wearing anything else right now!

To get a break on your own BreastNest, use the code “golda” and get $4 off your order!

(Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a BreastNest for free from the company in consideration for publication of a review.)
Get great body love tips and more when you subscribe:

Name:

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Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.

I’ll Just Be Here, Hanging Out in My BreastNest (Review) originally appeared on Body Love Wellness (http://www.bodylovewellness.com) on September 1, 2013.

Body Positive Performances!

Hi there!

I’ve been seeing more and more fat positive and body positive performance pieces lately.

Some of these have been circuiting the Internetz for a while, but I thought I’d share them with you to give you a bit of inspiration this week.

Here are a few of my favorites in no particular order. Please post some of your favorites below!

Megan Falley — “Fat Girl”

Sonya Renee — “The Body Is Not An Apology”

Sarah Goshman — “Invisible”

Katie Makkai — “Pretty”

Get great body love tips and more when you subscribe:

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Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.

(Listen to this post here, or subscribe on itunes.)

Body Positive Performances! originally appeared on Body Love Wellness (http://www.bodylovewellness.com) on August 19, 2013.

Vacation Time!

Image credit: appalachianviews / 123RF Stock Photo

Hi, my dear!

If you’re seeing this, I’m already on my way to a little Jersey Shore vacation. (Poofing out my bangs as we speak.)

Though I won’t posting as much to my blog and elsewhere, you don’t have to be Body-Love-Wellness-less.

We can stay in touch in a few ways!

For Silly Vacation Pics Of Fatkinis and the Atlantic Ocean — Follow me on Instagram (some stuff will also be on Facebook and/or Twitter)!

For Bloggy Support — Check out my 101′s in the sidebar over here.

For More In Depth Support — Schedule a free Body Love Breakthrough session for when I’m back!

I’ll be back before you know it!

xo,

Golda

Vacation Time! originally appeared on Body Love Wellness (http://www.bodylovewellness.com) on August 12, 2013.

If I Stop Dieting, Will I Gain Weight?

One of the most common questions I get from prospective clients is this:

“If I stop dieting and practice Health At Every Size (or intuitive eating) will I gain weight?”

Here’s the answer I pretty much always give:

“I don’t know if you’ll gain weight. Some of my clients gain weight. Some stay the same. Some lose weight. But I do know you will feel much happier and more at peace with your body.”

Maybe unsurprisingly, not everyone is too keen on my answer.

In fact, plenty of people decide not to work with me then and there.

I’ve learned over time that the folks who like that answer are often people who are already open to the idea of Health At Every Size. They’re so sick of dieting and hating their bodies that they’ve realized that feeling happier and at peace is really what they’re looking for.

But let’s talk about the weight thing.

It’s the 800-pound (or so) gorilla in the proverbial Internet room.

The Science Of Weight

Honestly, this is the stuff I’m not so good at. If you’re really interested in the science of weight, I urge you to read Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight.

The last time that I really studied general biology, I was in eighth grade.

And I remember sitting there and learning that your body does this amazing thing: When you restrict calories, it thinks that you’re experiencing a famine, so it slows your metabolism and makes you get more efficient at storing fat.

I remember learning this and feeling the cognitive dissonance. I thought, “Why did my doctor put me on a 1200 calorie diet if it’ll just make me more efficient at storing fat?”

That question never got answered.

But that really does happen. And the more you diet, the better you get at storing fat, the more attracted you get to higher fat/ higher calorie food, and the more your internal thermostat gets messed up. As this happens, your natural set point range (the range of weights that your body tries to maintain) gets higher and higher.

The only way out of this pattern is to stop dieting. This often involves relearning how to listen to your hunger and fullness signals and much more.

My Life In Fat 1981-2007

For most of my life, I was told and believed that I had to be hyper vigilant against weight gain.

According to doctors and pretty much everyone else in my life, if I didn’t diet constantly my weight would just go up and up.

This “reality” was reinforced by my own experience.

As a constant dieter, I was constantly in the process of losing and regaining weight.

And since I always began to regain weight even while sticking to whatever diet I was on at the moment, I saw that as proof that I had to restrict more and more.

Like at least 95% of dieters, I gained back whatever I’d lose within 5 years (often, it was much faster).

I would lose some weight on my doctor prescribed mix of calorie counting and shakes, or Overeaters’ Anonymous, or Weight Watchers, or Atkins. I would think that the diet that I was on at the moment was the answer and if I just stuck to it I would keep losing weight and become gloriously thin.

But then, the inevitable would happen. While faithfully sticking to the diet, the weight loss would stop and, soon after, the weight gain would begin.

Like at least 83% of dieters, I would often gain back more than I had initially lost. Disgusted, I would start a new diet.

I always took this weight gain as a sign that there was something wrong with me.

I always took it as a sign that I needed to diet more.

When I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2000, medical professionals further confirmed to me that PCOS would cause weight gain and I had to diet to stave it off.

So here’s something that all of those experts were wrong about:

The only thing that ever stabilized my weight was not dieting.

My Life In Fat 2007 to Present

In 2007 I made the decision to stop dieting once and for all.

It was one of the toughest – and yet easiest – decisions I had ever made in my life.

It was tough because of my internalized societal beliefs about how I should look and how I should eat. But it was easy because I was so fed up with dieting that I couldn’t conceive of going on another one.

At the time, I was a size 16 or so – still relatively thin for me. I still hadn’t gained back all of the weight from my last diet. Even though I understood that I’d probably gain more weight back and understood that this was not the death sentence I had been taught it was, I still secretly hoped I would magically stay at that size.

I remember being at the NAAFA convention in 2009 and being back at my starting weight for my last diet (around a size 18/20). I no longer hated my body and felt sort of silly that when I was last at that weight, I was so desperate to change my body.

My weight continued to rise until around the end of 2010.

The weird thing was that as I went up in dress sizes, I somehow stopped worrying about it.

Click to tweet: Check out the real deal
on stopping dieting, HAES, and weight gain from @bodylovewellnes.

I really trusted my body. I trusted that it was doing what it needed to do.

Toward the end of 2010, at a size 26 or so (and around 35 pounds higher than the starting weight of my last diet) the weight gain just stopped.

And it stayed the same until this Spring, when, totally inexplicably, my body changed again and I went down a size or two.

Now, mind you: during this whole process, I’ve just been doing the same thing. I’ve been practicing intuitive eating, eating what I want to. Sometimes exercising more, sometimes less.

I relinquished control to my body, and my body met me in the middle.

Being essentially the same size for about three years has been amazing. Being able to wear clothes that I wore three summers ago is an absolute revelation. It’s an experience that I had never had until now.

Of course, this is my experience. For over six years I’ve been doing this experiment called “not dieting” after twenty four years of an experiment called “dieting“.

I wanted to share my experience with you because, as you can see, it took years for my weight to stabilize post-dieting. As I mentioned at the top of this post, I don’t assume that my experience will be like yours. But I think it’s important for non-dieting folks to share the reality of their stories and experiences with not dieting.

I don’t know what size I’ll be next year or the year after. That may seem scary, but in truth, dieters don’t know what size they’ll be either.

So for now, I choose body peace, body love, and homeostasis. Because that, unlike weight, is something that I can actually control.

Has fear of weight gain affected your decisions around Health At Every Size and/or intuitive eating? Have you switched to HAES and noticed changes in your weight? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below!

Get great body love tips and more when you subscribe:

Name:

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Golda is a certified holistic health counselor and founder of Body Love Wellness, a program designed for plus-sized women who are fed up with dieting and want support to stop obsessing about food and weight. To learn more about Golda and her work, click here.

(Listen to this post here, or subscribe on itunes.)

If I Stop Dieting, Will I Gain Weight? originally appeared on Body Love Wellness (http://www.bodylovewellness.com) on August 6, 2013.