Arlene Miller's Blog, page 13
July 7, 2023
Making the Most of Your Empty Nest: How to Fill Your Time with Purpose
Image by Hans Benn from PixabayI am happy to present this guest post by Amber Ramsey, followed by comments from a real empty-nester: The Grammar Diva!Amber is a career woman. She’s fierce, confident, and has the “can do” attitude we all strive for. Like most of us, she started out in the corporate world, but she found that her fire, spirit, and creativity were better suited to the entrepreneurial lifestyle. Amber has been on both sides of the desk, as an employee and the boss, so she has plenty of career advice to share.———————————————
You’ve officially entered the empty-nester phase of your life. This new chapter certainly brings a sense of freedom and excitement, but it’s also normal to feel a little lost after years of focusing on your kids.
Fret not — there’s a myriad of ways to enrich your life while relaxing like never before.
Organize your important documents.
One thing to tackle at the outset of your empty-nester journey is to sort all your essential documents. This includes medical records, estate planning files, and any other important paperwork you might have. Doing so will give you peace of mind while ensuring that everything is in order for the future.
There are many resources available to help you, from online guides to professional organizers. You can also digitize your documents and put all similar files into a single document. By using a PDF file converter, you can turn your Word, Excel, and PowerPoint files into PDFs with a simple drag-and-drop!
Travel somewhere you’ve always wanted to go.
Traveling is always an excellent way to broaden your horizons and experience new things. With your kids out of the house, you now have the freedom to go where you’ve always wanted to go — without worrying about anyone else’s schedule! Whether it’s a cross-country road trip or a European vacation, taking the time to explore new places will certainly add some excitement and fulfillment to your life!
Spend more time with friends.
Your social life may have taken a backseat during your parenting years, but now is the time to reconnect with old friends and make new ones. Whether through a weekly book club or a local class, there are plenty of ways to build your social circle. Spending time with like-minded people can give you the sense of community and camaraderie that you may have been missing.
Make your marriage a priority.
You probably have more time to focus on your relationship with your spouse now that the kids are gone. Take advantage of it! Take this opportunity to go on dates, plan weekend getaways, and reconnect in meaningful ways.
It’s also important to communicate with each other about your hopes and goals for this new phase of your life. Making your marriage a priority can create a strong foundation for the years ahead.
Build a garden.
For many people, gardening is perfect for unwinding and getting in touch with nature. Whether you have a small balcony or a large yard, there are countless options for creating a beautiful garden space.
You can plant herbs and vegetables to use for cooking, produce a colorful flower bed, or build a relaxing seating area. Spending time outdoors and working in your garden can do wonders for your stress levels and overall well-being!
Launch a business.
If you’ve always had an entrepreneurial spirit, now may be the perfect time to launch a company. You could start an Etsy shop selling homemade wares, a consulting business that capitalizes on your years of expertise, or any number of other ideas.
Starting a business can be financially rewarding while also giving you a sense of purpose and fulfillment. And you can take advantage of online courses, networking events, and many other resources designed specifically for entrepreneurs.
Consider forming an LLC for your new business, which yields personal asset protection and limited liability for any debts or obligations arising from your business. An LLC can also provide tax flexibility and credibility (since you’re establishing a separate legal entity). Remember to research and comply with the specific requirements and regulations in your state when forming your LLC, and find a formation service to help.
Conclusion
The empty-nester phase can be a thrilling new chapter full of opportunities. You can make the most of your newfound freedom by keeping your documents organized, traveling more often, prioritizing your marriage, starting a business, and implementing the other tips above.
Remember — this is a time for self-exploration and growth, so don’t be afraid to try new things and pursue your passions. Embrace the season with open arms!
Comments by The Grammar Diva:
Organize my documents: Well, the thing about that is you need to keep it up. I cannot remember when I organized my files, but I know it is time to do it again. They are a mess. I also have several other organizational tasks on my list: Organize my will and trust binder. Put things into my safe box. Organize binders for the two organization of which I am secretary of the board. They have been on my list for a while now. Also, organize my office.
Travel: I have definitely not done enough of that, particularly outside of this country. At this point, I need about a three-month around the world tour for all the places I would like to go!
Time with Friends: Being an introvert I don’t have a thousand friends, and I don’t do a lot of socializing in groups except organizations I belong to — and there are several of those. Although I think I have as many friends here in Florida as I did in California (but not as many acquaintances). ever since Covid, I really got used to staying at home! I got used to socializing on Zoom!
Marriage: Well, I don’t have one of those.
Garden: Not with my brown thumb.
Launch a Business: Check. Did that one. Successfully accomplished!
June 29, 2023
Shades of Gray
Image by Gerd Altmann from PixabayIf you have an English grammar question, you might look it up in a grammar book or style guide. You might look it up online. And your sources may not all always agree.
English is the only major language without an authority association that makes and keeps the rules. For Russian you have the V.V.Vinogradov Language Institute of the Russian Academy of Sciences. For Spanish you have the Association of Academies of the Spanish Language. For French you have the French Academy. For German you have the Gesellschaft für deutsche Sprache.
The lack of a real authority on the language makes for some interesting debates among English-speaking grammarians.
A brilliant friend and reader of this blog, Bruce Blakeley, has asked me some interesting questions about grammar and has suggested some good blog post topics. His most recent question, was this: If the phrase “other than you and x” refers to a subject, shouldn’t it be “I”, not “me?” For example,“Other than you and I, no one went to the baseball game.”“Other than you and I, only Jim is running for head dog catcher. Bruce continued with more examples: 1. You and I went to the baseball game yesterday. Subjective case.2. Other than you and I, who went to the baseball game yesterday, no one else went. Subjective case. 3. Other than you and I, no one went to the baseball game yesterday. Still Subjective case????Seems that this is a subject of the verb situation regardless of the “other than” phrase. To me, “other than you and I” has nothing to do with the subject. It doesn’t stand in for the subject. “You and I” is not equal to or taking the place of “no one,” in my opinion. My first thought was that “other than” is a preposition and “you and me” were the objects of that preposition. For example, “No one went to the baseball game except you and me,” seems to be the pretty much the same sentence. So I Googled it, of course, and several sources said that “other than” was indeed a preposition.
Bruce also researched it. He found that some sources said “other than” is a preposition and some did not have it listed as one. It means “except,” so I would assume it is a preposition as well.
However, by itself, “other” is not a preposition. And by itself neither is “than.”
I decided to consult another grammarian. I chose Ellen is at the grammar table (her Twitter handle) because she is active on Twitter and runs daily polls on grammar issues She got her Twitter name because she actually chooses places and sits at a table in public answering grammar questions!
Well, I never got as much action on Twitter as with this post and with Ellen posting it. Here are some of the responses we got:
“Me” sounds normal and mundane. “You and I” here feels like an idiom with an extra flavor of solidarity.I’ve always went by the rule that it needs to make sense in the singular, without the “you and” … in this case, I say me. (Editorial note: I’ve always went???)This is tricky because “than” is traditionally a conjunction, not a preposition, which would indicate the subjective “I.” But Merriam-Webster lists “other than” with this meaning as a preposition unto itself, so I would go with the objective “me.”only “me,” can’t see any argument for “I” Other than = except , so ( me ) is correct.I think “me”. “Other than” is a preposition in this sentence.Other than, aside from, beyond, besides, apart from … all act as prepositions for me.Other than you and _____ (I, me), no one cares about pronoun case. (There is always a comedian!)Try it with a different pronoun – “Other than them” is better than “Other than they” for example. “Other than” takes the oblique case for sure.I tried rephrasing the sentence as ‘no one cares… except for you and…’, and then decided it should be ‘me’.With situations like this I usually replace the I/me pronoun with “he” and “him” to gauge which sounds more appropriate (in this case “him”), so I voted “me.”The tip here is to mentally drop the other person and see which pronoun you’d use.The absence of a verb before the comma makes “you and I” more correct. Er, does it?I picked “me” because I wouldn’t say “Other than I, no one cares about pronoun case.”not s sentence construction I would naturally use, to be honestSpeaking, I’d say “I”; it just sounds better to my ear. In writing, I’d just change it to “us.” (There is a new rule!)Here are the results of the Twitter poll:
I – 28.7%
Me – 61.3 %
Either one is OK – 9.2%
I wouldn’t use either one – .8%
Just to be clear, this has nothing to do with “than” taking the subjective case in comparisons:
She likes pizza more than I (like pizza). That is correct.She like pizza more than (she likes) me. Probably not correct.In those cases, you need to supply the implied words.
Oh, American Academy of Language Rules (if you existed), is it “I” or “me”???
June 23, 2023
Next Question, Please . . .
Image by Gordon Johnson from PixabayPeople often ask me grammar questions. They either contact me through my website, or if they know me they post on Facebook or send me a message. And yes, I always answer. Here are some of the questions people ask me.
“How do I make a name that ends in s possessive? In school, I learned to add just an apostrophe to make possessives of words ending in s.” I spell it the way I pronounce it. For example, I would write James’s that way because I pronounce it that way. I don’t say, “That is James’ toy.” On the other hand, I might say, “That is Miles’ toy, so I would write it that way. But then, I probably would say Miles’s! I recommend adding the apostrophe and the s.“Does the question mark go inside or outside of quotes?” It depends. If the question mark goes with just the part of the sentence in quotes, it goes inside. If it goes with the whole sentence, it goes outside. If both the quote and the sentence are questions, it goes in the default position of inside. Here are some examples: He asked, “Are we there yet?” Did he say, “We are almost there”? Did he ask, “Are we there yet?”“Why would you use an em (long) dash at the end of a sentence?” A long dash is used at the end of a sentence in dialogue when the next person speaking interrupts. It is not used for trailing off at the end of a piece of dialogue. The ellipsis is used for that (…)“My daughter, Audrey, is going to Harvard. That sentence just looks too busy with those commas. Do I need them?” It depends. If you put the commas in, it implies that you have only one daughter; thus you could leave her name out. If you leave out the commas, the sentence implies that you have more than one daughter and you need to identify which daughter you are talking about. Either way, you would never just put in one of the commas. It is all or nothing.Is it “Who have you worked for” or “Whom have you worked for”? It is whom. Grammatically, it is the object of the preposition for, so it is in the objective case. If you don’t want to get into the grammar, answer the question: I worked for him. Him and whom are both objective case. (Who goes with he, not him.)“Are collective nouns singular or plural?” A collective noun is one that represents a group, for example, band, crowd, audience, class. No one will care if you generally use a singular verb with them, but technically, they can be either singular or plural. If you are talking about the group as a whole, it is singular and takes a singular verb; if you are talking about the individuals in the group, it is plural and takes a plural verb: My family are from all over Europe. My family is going on a picnic next weekend. “You must be as weary as I or me?” Put in the missing word, and you have your answer: You must be as weary as I am.“Do you graduate high school or do you graduate from high school?” You graduate from high school.“Explain the difference between everyday and every day.” Everyday is an adjective that describes some noun: We are everyday people. I talk to him every day. “Is it valid to put a comma in the sentence, “He is baking, a cake and some cookies”? Well, we don’t generally put commas after the verb in a sentence. I guess it could be used to indicate we are saying what he is baking as an aside. But there is really no reason to make it an aside. I suppose if you wanted to make it an aside, you could use a dash instead – or even parentheses. Best to just leave out the comma and write it the way it is.“Is it other than you and I or other than you and me?” I would use me. Other than is a preposition, so me is the object of a preposition.“They can now be used as a singular pronoun. Does it then take a singular verb?” No. It always takes a plural verb: they are. When you think about it, the singular you also takes a plural verb (you are). “Why do people say At the end of the day? It has six syllables, whereas ultimately means the same thing and has only four syllables.” Who knows? But it has become quite a common expression. Here is the apparent history: This expression comes from an autobiographical sketch written in 1889 by the scientist Thomas H. Huxley: “The last thing that it would be proper for me to do would be to speak of the work of my life, or to say at the end of the day whether I think I have earned my wages or not.”“What’s with starting sentences with so?” Well, we can now begin sentences with conjunctions, used wisely. If it actually is the result of what the previous sentence said, so can serve as a transition to the next sentence. I wouldn’t use it in formal English. And please don’t use this lazy, meaningless sentence: So, ya.
June 15, 2023
A Toast to Father’s Day
Image by skalekar1992 from PixabayA Little HistoryThe first Father’s Day was celebrated on June 19, 1910. It was founded by Sonora Smart Dodd, and that first celebration was held at the YMCA in Spokane, Washington. Sonora’s father was William Jackson, a Civil War veteran and single parent of six children. After hearing a sermon about Mother’s Day, she told her pastor that fathers should have a similar holiday honoring them.
Father’s Day was not initially a great success. Dodd moved to Chicago to attend school in the 1920s and no longer promoted the holiday. when she returned to Spokane in the 1930s, she started promoting the celebration again. This time she had help from trade groups that would benefit from such a holiday: manufacturers of such things as ties and pipes. In 1938 the Father’s Day Council was formed by the New York Associated Menswear Retailers, and they began to promote the occasion. They met resistance from those who felt they were just trying to replicate the commercial success of Mother’s Day. However, it was not long before Father’s Day was accepted and became a commercial success.
Father’s Day was made a national holiday in 1972 by President Richard Nixon.
Some Quotes“A father is someone you look up to no matter how tall you grow.” – Unknown
“My father always provided me a safe place to land and a hard place from which to launch.” – Chelsea Clinton
“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.” – Jim Valvano
“I’ve said it before, but it’s absolutely true: My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future.” – Liza Minnelli
“My father didn’t tell me how to live. He lived, and let me watch him do it.” – Clarence Budington Kelland
“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.” – Sigmund Freud
“A father carries pictures where his money used to be.” – Steve Martin
“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” – Frederick Douglass
Some JokesI had a great childhood. My father would put me in a tire and roll me down a hill. Those were the good years. My brother, on the other hand, never appreciated such a tiring activity.
Wife: “Honey, look outside, all the bus stop signs on our street have been stolen!”
Husband: “Where do these people get off?!”
Dad: “How much would a new roof cost?”
Sales Rep: “Approximately $5000-7000.”
Dad: “Darn, I was hoping it would be on the house!”
Child: “Dad, can we get a pet dog?”
Dad: “Why don’t you get a pet tree instead?”
Child: “Why would we get a pet tree?”
Dad: “It’s just like a pet dog, but the bark’s quieter.”
There was a sale on TVs over the weekend. There was a 65-inch TV on sale for only $5.00! The salesman said it worked fine but that the volume was just stuck on 10. I bought it immediately. I just couldn’t turn it down.
Some Songs“Papa Was a Rolling Stone”- Temptations
“Papa’s got a Brand New Bag” – James Brown
“Papa Don’t Preach” – Madonna
“Papa, Can You Hear Me” – Barbra Streisand
“Down at Papa Joe’s” – Dixiebells
“My Dad” – Paul Peterson
‘Father and Daughter” – Paul Simon
“Child Is Father of the Man” – Beach Boys
Some TV DadsAl Bundy – Married with Children
Andy Taylor – The Andy Griffith Show
Archie Bunker – All in the Family
Dan Conner – Roseanne
Fred Sanford – Sanford and Son
Herman Munster – The Munsters
Homer Simpson – The Simpsons
Howard Cunningham – Happy Days
Mike Brady – The Brady Bunch
Steven Keaton – Family Ties
Tim Taylor – Home Improvement
Ward Cleaver – Leave It to Beaver
Ozzie Nelson – The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet
Desi Arnaz – I Love Lucy
Jim Anderson – Father Knows Best
Hal – Malcolm in the Middle
Peter Griffin – Family Guy
Danny Williams – Make Room for Daddy
Ben Cartwright – Bonanza
Johnny Rose – Schitt’s Creek
Steve Douglas – My Three Sons
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Important Announcement:Jags Anderson, author and writer of last week’s guest post, is offering all my blog post readers a free Kindle download of his latest novel, Runner.This offer is available from Sunday 18th June through Tuesday 20th June.If you read on Kindle or use the Kindle app on your smartphone or tablet go to https://tinyurl.com/5dpfpw82 (if you buy through amazon.co.uk) or https://tinyurl.com/yzbm37hj (if you buy on amazon.com) where you can ‘buy’ it for free.I hope you enjoy it._________________________________________________________________________________________________
HAPPY FATHER’S DAYJune 9, 2023
Those Lying Numbers
Image by Colin Behrens from PixabayAnother wonderful guest post from Jags Anderson!
Jags Arthurson is the pen name of a Brighton, UK writer. Jags has been a research chemist and company director. He has lived and worked in over 40 countries. His novel, the crime thriller Pagan Justice , is available on Amazon with all proceeds going to charity. His new novel, Runner: A Crime Novel, is available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited. He will be offering the book free to my readers. Stay tuned for more info.
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It was Benjamin Disraeli, the 19th Century British Prime Minister, who is credited with coining the phrase, “There are three types of lies … Lies, damned lies and statistics.” Actually, the mathematical discipline of Statistics is very rigorous and precise, but people will often use (twist?) the results of statistical analysis and other numbers to demonstrate a case they wish to make but that the figures themselves do not support.
This came to mind the other day as I was waiting for the Number 7 bus that would transport me with ease and in comfort to the delights of Brighton Marina when I noticed the sign on the side of the vehicle that proudly boasted that it ran, “Up to every 7 minutes,” and this got me thinking. A quick check on the timetable confirmed my suspicion that, in fact, seven minutes was the shortest time one would have to wait for this diesel-electric, low-energy, environmentally friendly behemoth.
Now, if I promised to do a job, say clean your car, you would rightly ask for an estimate of the cost and I might proclaim, “Up to seven quid, boss.” On that basis, you would give me the work. So how would you feel if, job done, I then held out my hand and demanded a tenner?
“Ten pound!” you would be justified in exclaiming in alarm. “But you said, ‘Up to seven pounds’ so how do you get to ten?” My only defence would be to point you at The Brighton and Hove Bus Company and respond, “Well, that’s what they do.” But I don’t think it would hold water.
So B&H Bus Co. is actually misleading its customers and should repaint the signs on the buses to say, “Down to every 7 minutes” or “At best every 7 minutes,” but I suspect they won’t because it doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.
All this got me thinking of other numbers that businesses and politicians use in order lie to us. I saw an advertisement that said a certain disinfectant would “kill up to 100% more bacteria” than a named competitor’s product. So what percentage more bacteria would it actually need to kill in order to justify this claim? In truth, any number above the competitor’s. If it killed 0.0000000001% more, then it would have met its ‘up to’ promise. In fact, the only way it would break the promise would be if it killed the same (or less) than its competitor or, perversely, if it killed more than twice as many … because it said “up to 100%” not “more than 100%.” Although that, in itself, would be impossible because the ‘named competitor’ claimed to kill ‘99% of all known germs’ so for the ‘up to 100% more’ claim to be exceeded it would have to be capable of killing 198% of germs … pretty impressive!
And it is not alone in this trick as, for example, Duracell promises its batteries last up to 100% longer, and various internet service providers allege their broadband speeds are ‘up to 100% faster.’
Also, as an aside, notice how ‘100% more’ sounds so much bigger than ‘twice.’
Are there any clues that can help us tell when somebody is using numbers to deceive? Let’s start by looking at the accuracy. Does the claim appear to have a suspiciously high degree of precision?
Look at the old classic that “37.4% of all statistics are made up on the spot.” Note that number. Not ‘a lot’ or ‘most’ but an absolutely precise number accurate to the first decimal point so it feels as if it must be true. But, of course, it is not.
Another example can be gleaned from when the anti-communist McCarthy told the United States that there were 57 card carrying members of the Communist Party in the State Department. Were there? It’s highly unlikely, but who could prove it one way or the other? Card carrying members of the Communist Party would have tended not to advertise the fact (did they even actually ‘carry cards’?), and it is now widely accepted that his ‘fact’ was a blatant lie. But because of the precision … not ‘several’ or even ‘about fifty’ but precisely ‘57’ … people felt he must be telling the truth. After all, if anybody could be that accurate they must have knowledge of the facts unknown to the rest of us.
That leads us to the second clue: the credibility of the number. How could anybody even calculate what percentage of statistics is made up? But sales people, in particular, use this sort of trick all the time.
For instance, a certain beauty product promises to make your eyelashes, “twice as luscious.” But can anybody tell me the International Standard measurement of lusciousness? Because I’ve looked and I can’t find one. If one cannot measure ‘lusciousness’ how can anyone suggest any degree of increase? So the claim must be at least suspect, if not totally false.
Even statistics that appear to be superficially accurate can be used to mislead. For instance, the UK Advertising Standards Authority ordered Colgate to stop claiming that, “More than 80% of dentists recommend Colgate” even though this was, in fact, true. The deception here is that the ‘80%’ claim implies that only 20% of dentists would recommend other brands and what the company had failed to reveal was that in their survey they had given dentists a list and allowed them to choose more than one. So, whereas it was true to say that “More than 80% of dentists recommend Colgate,” it was possible that the same number – or even more – would recommend other brands as well!
And a final clue of deception might be the credibility of the claimant. For instance, if it’s made by a politician … well, enough said.
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WE NEED YOU!!!Seeking guest posts! If you have an idea for a guest post, or have already written something, please submit it to me at bigwords101@yahoo.com or through the Contact tab on the website. What should you write about? Anything related to grammar, language, words, books (book reviews accepted), personal stories of interest, etc.June 2, 2023
Just in Case…
Image by ErikaWittlieb from PixabayOne of the most common grammar problems is differentiating between I and me. Grammatically, we call that an issue with pronoun case. There are three cases in the English language: Nominative, possessive, and objective. We use cases only with pronouns, and the possessive case doesn’t pose much of a problem except with misplaced apostrophes (solution: no possessive pronouns have an apostrophe: its, ours, theirs, etc). The nominative and objective cases cause the problems. For the sake of this post, all we will say is that nominative case is used for pronouns that are sentence subjects (or predicate nominatives). Objective case is, unsurprisingly, used for objects, whether they are direct objects, indirect objects, or objects of a preposition. Here are some examples:
We are taking a vacation. (We is the subject.) This is she. (She is a predicate nominative.)I am taking a vacation with him. (Him is the object of the preposition with.)I am following you. (You is the direct object of the verb following.)I am baking her a cake. (Her is the indirect object of the verb baking.)Now, imagine if Latin were not an outdated language, and you had to be aware of not three cases, but five — and those cases were used for nouns. Actually, there are six, but I learned only five. The cases in Latin change the end of the word. You may remember this from your high school Latin class. Oddly, I loved Latin and took five years of it. Here are the Latin cases. We will use the common noun puella (girl) for illustrate:
Nominative – Used for a subject or predicate nominative, just as in English. Puella is the singular; puellae is the plural.Genitive – Used for a possessive noun. Puellae is singular; puellårum is plural.Dative – Used for indirect objects. I gave the girl a gift would be puellae; plural is puellis.Accusative – Used for direct objects. Singular is puellam; plural is puellås.Ablative – Used primarily for objects of prepositions, but you don’t need the preposition. Singular is puellå; plural is puellås.Vocative – Used for what we call direct address (Girl, please comb your hair!). Form is the same as nominative.Locative – Rarely used, but would be a seventh case.NOTE: My little circles should actually be lines to indicate a long vowel sound. I couldn’t figure out how to do the line on my Mac.
Keep in mind there are also masculine and feminine nouns in Latin (and many other languages) but we don’t need to worry about that in English.
More that we don’t need to worry about:
English at one time did have noun cases, but those have gone, leaving only pronouns with cases.( Whew!!)Hungarian has around 17 cases, although it depends on the grouping. Some say it is more than 20!Russian has six cases.German has four cases.Finnish has 25 cases.Tsez has at least 36 cases. Tsez is a Northeast Caucasian language with about 15,000 speakers spoken by the Tsez, a Muslim people in the mountainous Tsunta District of southwestern Dagestan in Russia.And we cannot figure out the difference between I and me????
May 26, 2023
And The Women Carry Black Cats
Image by Adina Voicu from PixabayAfter receiving her BA and MA in French from different divisions of Rutgers University, Esther returned there for her doctorate in language education. A multi-published author, she now lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband, Lee. When they’re not traveling—especially to be with family in other parts of the United States and in England—she loves to bake, quilt, and add to her monumental book collection. Her latest book, available on Amazon and in bookstores, is
Rebecca of Salerno: a Novel of Rogue Crusaders, a Jewish Female Physician, and a Murder
,
and her website is
EstherErman.com
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La Plume De Ma Tante
“La plume de ma tante est sur le bureau de mon oncle;
Le papier de mon oncle est sur le bureau de ma tante.”
These French lyrics, popularized in a fun song by Hugo & Luigi in 1959, typify the frequent silliness communicated in language lessons. Such absurd dialogues inspired the Romanian-French writer Eugène Ionesco to write his play The Bald Soprano (La Cantatrice Chauve). Based on my language education experience as both a teacher and a student, I think he was on to something. I see no practical reason for learning how to say “The pen of my aunt is on the desk of my uncle; the paper of my uncle is on the desk of my aunt.”
Grammar, vocabulary, and pronunciation are the basic components of learning to speak, hear, read, and write a new language, as well as to acquire some familiarity with its accompanying culture. In my current efforts to learn Polish, I find myself questioning what makes for effective communication. How might a recent sentence I learned – “I am a machine.” – help me find my way around Poland? What about “Are you selling his dog?” Or the even more potentially problematic: “Why are you raising this man’s daughter?”
Of course, Polish lessons are not the only ones that dabble in the absurd. Here are some other head-scratcher examples culled from various texts: “In April I drink water.” (What do you drink the rest of the year?) “The women are carrying black cats.” (What are the men carrying?) “When I sleep, I do not talk.” (Are you sure?) “My mother writes a book on Tuesday.” (Must be a very short book, or perhaps she’s a very fast writer.) “I eat cheese and cry on the floor.” (Really? Is it limburger?) “The bride is a woman, and the groom is a porcupine.” (And I’m totally stumped on choosing a good wedding gift!) “I eat chocolate cake with mustard.” (Would it be okay if I order dessert for both of us?)
But then, consider a pivotal scene in My Fair Lady: After days of futile frustration for everyone, Eliza delights Professor Higgins and Colonel Pickering when she correctly enunciates “The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain.” This triumph marks the start of her successful transition to speaking proper English – as defined by the professor and the colonel. Actually, the rain in Spain stays mainly in the mountains – but at least Eliza sounds good as she gets it wrong.
Maybe it’s enough for these dialogues to provide successful examples of proper usage without having to make any sense. After all, if politicians are free to use their native language to express the absurd, why should language learners be held to a different standard?
Note from The Grammar Diva: The only sentence I remember well from my years of taking French is, “Where is the library?” Ou est la bibliothèque? That would be useful if I were in France.
May 19, 2023
Moi Aussi
Image by Markus Winkler from PixabayMoi aussi is one of the few French phrases I remember from French class, oh-so-many years ago. It means “me too” in English.
“Me too” has become a common phrase (not to mention a movement and a hashtag #MeToo) in English. You have heard it, and probably said it, a million times. It isn’t a complete sentence, but it generally serves as one.
I want a chocolate ice cream cone. Me too. But is it grammatically correct? Shouldn’t it be I also or I too? And should there be a comma before too?
Sometimes it should be I also or I too –– grammatically speaking. How do you know when to use which? The rule is the same as in some comparisons; you have to supply the missing (assumed) words:
She likes pizza more than me. She likes pizza more than she likes me? Well, probably not. But if she did, it would be correct to use me.
She likes pizza more than me. She likes pizza more than I like pizza? That is probably what is meant. So, She likes pizza more than I do would be correct.
Now let’s look at me too.
I want a chocolate ice cream cone. Me too – Me wants one too? Or I want one too, or I want one also? In this case, me too is fine to use colloquially, but it isn’t grammatically correct. The correct response is I too or I want one also, etc.
She invited me for dinner tomorrow night. Me too – She invited me too. In this case, me too is correct.
Now, what about the comma? Is there a comma before too or also?
Here is the current ruling on that one:
I, too, want a chocolate ice cream cone.I want a chocolate ice cream cone too.No comma is needed before too at the end of a sentence.
So do the French call the Me Too Movement Moi Aussi? Maybe some do, but the more common name for it in France is #BalanceTonPorc, meaning out your pig.
The “me too” movement was begun in 2006 by survivor and New York women’s activist Tarana Burke. She wanted to support women who were victims of sexual abuse and to let them know they were not alone.
Time Magazine named Burke Person of the Year in 2017.
Actors Ashley Judd and Rose McGowan came forward in 2017 to speak about Harvey Weinstein and abuse in Hollywood. Alyssa Milano joined in the cause.
Here are some statistics:
Nationwide, 81% of women and 43% of men reported experiencing some form of sexual harassment or assault, according to a 2018 study conducted by the University of California and the non-profit Stop Street Harassment.Sexual abuse often leads to substance use, suicide, psychiatric disorders such as PTSD, and other negative outcomes.After Milano’s tweet using the hashtag #metoo to raise awareness of the movement, Twitter users posted the hashtag almost a million times within two days. The movement spilled over to Facebook where about 4.7 million users shared 12 million posts in fewer than 24 hours. 53% of women ages 30 to 49 say they support the movement, which is not statistically different from the 47% of men that age who say the same. Some 48% of 50- to 64-year-old women say they support the #MeToo movement – greater than the 36% share of men in this age group who say the same.About one-in-five adults overall (21%) say they have not heard of the #MeToo movement. This share is greater among Black and Hispanic adults.Today, the phrase #MeToo is still a sign of solidarity for victims of sexual harassment and assault.
May 12, 2023
Home Is Where Your Heart Is
Image by from PixabayI returned from a week-long vacation in California a couple of days ago. (My jet lag is part of the reason I am writing this particular post, which required little or no research!) I try to get to California, where I moved from (to Florida) a few years ago, at least a couple of times a year to see my son, who still lives there. I also have many friends and acquaintances there, having lived in California for 26 years.
Petaluma, California, is a lovely town. Part of Wine Country, it has a population of at least 60,000, but still has a small-town feel. There is a downtown, which is missing from where I live in Florida. Although traffic is an issue everywhere, nothing is like the traffic in Florida. I noticed that the drivers in Petaluma did not feel the need to drive 90 miles an hour, and the traffic lights were not five-minutes long, as they seem to be here in Florida.
When I lived in California, I would think nothing of taking myself out to lunch (usually Chinese) along with a book to read. I have never done so in Florida and would not feel comfortable doing so. I don’t know why. In some ways, it just doesn’t feel like home.
But Florida is home because my daughter, son-on-law, and five-month old granddaughter live here, ten minutes away. And that is the only reason I am here, although I do love the climate. When I left for my week in California, it was in the low- to mid-80s in Florida and absolutely perfect. California was unusually cold and cloudy for May. No shorts needed! It was in the 50s, warming up to the low 60s for my last couple of days there. Funny, but I left Boston to move to a warm climate, and although northern California is not the tropics, it was a warm climate compared to Boston. Since I have arrived back in Florida, it has been in the 90s.
I did notice that I began to miss my villa in Florida a few days into my trip. So which is home? California or Florida? If home is where the heart is, then they are both my home. California has my son and many friends and acquaintances from my life there: tap dance teaching, writing. Florida has my daughter and granddaughter and a few new friends in addition to my oldest and best friend, who has lived in Florida for many years. She is four hours by car, but that is a lot closer than I was in California, five hours by plane!
When I visit California, I stay in a motel. A good friend invites me, but has too many dogs and cats for my allergies. My son lives with my ex-husband, so I can’t stay there! I have found a nice motel that is walking distance to a coffee shop and a Trader Joe’s. And the room has a microwave and fridge for storing leftovers from my many restaurant visits! And it is very clean, unlike the fancy Sheraton I stayed at once, where they cleared the rooms every few days. It was during the pandemic, but I stayed in the motel during the pandemic too, and it is cleaned every day.
Because I stay in a motel and don’t want to hang around a motel room, I schedule my time with friends in advance, so I know just what I am doing, and so I keep busy. I was very busy (and very full) during this trip. Usually, I have time to take a tap class when I am there, but no time this time. Here was my schedule:
Wednesday: Plane lands at 9:45 a.m. in San Francisco. Pick up rental car and have lunch on the way to Petaluma with a friend. Dinner with my son.
Thursday: Lunch with another friend and a walk around town and dinner with my son.
Friday: Coffee with a friend, lunch with another friend, happy hour with a group of teacher friends, and dinner with a writer friend.
Saturday: The reason I went to California at this particular time. The Bay Area Independent Publishing Association, of which I have been a member since 2010, has met via Zoom since the pandemic. Actually, I was on their board when I moved to Florida, so they set up a computer where I could sort of see the meeting. This was before Covid. Once Covid appeared, the group met on Zoom once a month, and I could continue going to the meetings. Well, they continue to meet on Zoom, but planned an in-person meeting and luncheon for last Saturday. I came in from Florida and someone else from Massachusetts. The president of the club came down from Portland, Oregon. It was a hybrid meeting, so you could attend on Zoom. I was looking forward to seeing some of the people who had joined since Covid in person, since I had met them only on Zoom. Unfortunately, many of them still came to the meeting on Zoom. Oh well. After the lunch I went about 40 miles north to my friend’s mother-in-law’s birthday party.
Sunday: Coffee with an ex, brunch with a friend, the symphony with a friend, and dinner with my son.
Monday: Lunch with a group of writing friends. Stopped in to see my son, who was working.
Tuesday: Coffee with a friend, lunch with another friend, and stopped by to say goodbye for now to my son. Got my flight at 10:35 p.m., which landed in Florida at 6:45 a.m. So tired!
I also managed to stop by and see a friend who owns a women’s clothing boutique downtown and my tax guy!
I am still tired, but now I know where home is. Florida……and California.
May 1, 2023
Capitalization in Titles: The Best of the Grammar Diva
Headings, chapter titles, book titles, movie titles……these titles all require proper capitalization. Which words are capitalized in a title, anyway? Or, which words are not?
Here are some rules to help you:
1. The first and last words of a title are always capitalized, no matter what they are.
2. The articles a, and, and the are not capitalized unless they are the first or last words of a title.
3. The conjunctions for, and, nor, but, or, yet, or so are not capitalized unless they are the first or last words of a title. However, sometimes for, yet, and so can be other parts of speech. For can also be a preposition, but you don’t have to worry about that because little prepositions are not capitalized either! However, yet and so can also be adverbs, and adverbs are capitalized in a title. Here are some examples of yet and so:
I am so tired. (So is an adverb.)
I am tired, so I will take a nap. (So is a conjunction here; it is connecting two clauses.)
Are we there yet? (Yet is an adverb here.)
I am tired, yet I can’t sleep. (Yet is a conjunction here, a connecting word.)
You probably won’t have to worry about yet and so too much in titles. My guess is usually they will be adverbs in a title, unless your title is really long. So capitalize them.
4. Small prepositions of four or fewer letters (with four letters you have a choice of whether or not to capitalize) are not capitalized.
Common short prepositions: to, for, by, in, out, up, down, at, with, past, over.
Common longer prepositions (capitalize these): above, below, beyond, between, among, along, beneath, under.
NOTE: Although in is a preposition, if and it and is are NOT! These words need to be capitalized! If is a conjunction, it is a pronoun, and is is a verb.
Here are some titles that are capitalized correctly:
Tender Is the Night
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?
Joy to the World
Somewhere over the Rainbow (or Over)
Woe Is I
The Best Little Grammar Book Ever!
Correct Me If I’m Wrong
Algebra Is Tough, yet Fun!
I that last title, yet is used as a conjunction, or connecting word, so it isn’t capitalized. It looks kind of funny to me. If all words except one in a longish title are capitalized, and it looks odd to you, you can capitalize all the words. In a title, ’tis better to capitalize a word when in doubt, than not capitalize one that should be capitalized.
Special Note: Is, Are, Was, Were, Be: These words are all verbs and thus very important and always capitalized in a title. If you don’t capitalize these, the grammar police will be out looking for you!
