Arlene Miller's Blog, page 10

Ghosts of New Years Past

Image by Annette Meyer from PixabayThe Best of The Grammar Diva

I began writing this blog at the beginning of 2013 — every week . 

So I have done several New Year posts. I thought I would share with you a collage of a few New Year posts from years past…

What Are YOUR Resolutions?

I think it was last year that I asked my readers and my social media connections to give me their New Year’s resolutions, promising anonymity. Hmm…..I suppose I should be happy that I got very few responses: I must have a very happy, self-satisfied group of friends and readers!

But I did get a few:

Not to feel critical of the writer who makes an error or to think less of him or her, but just to be grateful I am still able to catch the error! (No, that is not my resolution!!)Give up swearing. (No, that isn’t mine either!)Resolving that next year I will make a resolution — and I always do! ( Not mine, I swear!) Not taking everything to heart and thinking everything is a slight. Life is too short (Okay, that’s mine!)Not saying anything at all if I have nothing nice to say. (Mine too)

According to Statista, these were the most common resolutions for 2018:

Eat healthier.Get more exercise.Save more money.Take care of oneself better, e.g., get more sleep.Read more.Make new friends.Learn a new skill.Get a new job.Take up a new hobby.I am not making any New Year’s resolutions. (32% of us)

45% of us usually make resolutions (almost half of us are unhappy??)

38% of us never do.

17% infrequently do.

So how is the success rate? Well, 75% of resolutions make it through the first week, 71% make it through two weeks, 64% make it past a month, and 46% make it through six months. That is higher than I would expect!

Here are some tips on how to make your resolutions more successful: (These ideas generally make anything you plan to do more successful.)

Be specific: Instead of saying “get in shape, ” say “exercise three times a week.”Write the resolutions down.Make a timetable. Establish small goals along the way. Don’t give up. If you eat the whole chocolate cake, don’t give up. Just don’t figure you might as well eat one every day now! (I tend to think like that.)Get support from friends and family —  or whomever you trust has your best interest in mind.

If you are focusing on good health, here are some suggested resolutions  that are easy to accomplish. (from Good Housekeeping.)

Add more citrus to your grocery cart.Eat lots of veggies.Book all your doctor visits for the year. What are you due for?Confide your resolutions to one friend only.Become a plant owner. Plants are calming. Forget multitasking. Do one thing at a time. (Yeah, sure.)Scent your environment. Peppermint gives you energy. Lavender reduces stress.Climb the stairs.Decorate with memorabilia, for example, old family pictures.Sanitize your phone weekly. (good one!)Plan a vacation. At least two a year is healthiest.Practice yoga.Listen to novels while you work out.Volunteer.Delegate more chores.Keep clutter out of the kitchen.Wear workout gear that makes you feel good.Explore new hobbies.Listen to upbeat music.Be sure to take a lunch break.Donate old clothes. Don’t keep those size 4 jeans until you can get into them again!Switch up your exercise routine.Give yourself more compliments.Spend less time glued to your phone.Learn a new skill.Keep up-to-date with current events. (Well, maybe not.)Meditate every day.Go to bed on time.Get some new workout shoes.Write to yourself. And be kind when you do.

 

Where Did New Year’s Resolutions Come From?

Although New Year’s resolutions are most common in the Western Hemisphere, they are found all over the word. 

The ancient Babylonians were apparently the first people to make New Year’s resolutions, about 4,000 years ago. However, for them the year began not in January, but in mid-March when the crops were planted. During a 12-day religious festival known as Akitu, the Babylonians crowned a new king or reaffirmed their loyalty to the reigning king.  They made promises to the gods to pay their debts and return any farm equipment they had borrowed.

The Romans began each year by making promises to the god Janus, for whom the month of January is named. The early Roman calendar consisted of 10 months and 304 days, with each new year beginning at the vernal equinox. It was created by Romulus, the founder of Rome, in the eighth century B.C. Over the centuries, the calendar fell out of sync with the sun, and in 46 B.C. the emperor Julius Caesar consulted with the most prominent astronomers and mathematicians of his time. He introduced the Julian calendar, which closely resembles the calendar that most countries around the world use today.

Caesar instituted January 1 as the first day of the year, partly to honor  Janus, the Roman god of beginnings, whose two faces allowed him to look both back into the past and forward into the future. Romans celebrated the new year by offering sacrifices to Janus, exchanging gifts with one another, decorating their homes with laurel branches, and attending raucous parties.

In the Medieval era, the knights took the “peacock vow” at the end of the Christmas season each year to re-affirm their commitment to chivalry.

This tradition has other religious parallels. In Judaism. on Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement),  the culmination of the Jewish New Year, Jews reflect upon their wrongdoings over the past year and seek forgiveness. And the practice of New Year’s resolutions came, in part, from the Lenten sacrifices of Christians. The concept, regardless of creed, is the annual reflection upon self-improvement.

Despite the tradition’s religious roots, New Year’s resolutions today are a secular practice. Instead of making promises to the gods, most people make resolutions  to themselves and focus purely on self-improvement. 

So Who Makes Resolutions? And Who Keeps Them?

At the end of the Great Depression, about 25% of American adults made New Year’s resolutions. At the beginning of the 21st century, about 40% did. And those who make common resolutions such as weight loss, increased exercising, or quitting smoking are at least ten times more likely to succeed compared with those who do not make resolutions.

Here are the most common reasons for people failing at their New Year’s Resolutions:

Unrealistic goals (35%)Not keeping track of progress (33% )Forgetting all about it (23%) Making too many resolutions (10%)

A 2007 study by Richard Wiseman from the University of Bristol involving 3,000 people showed that 88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail despite the fact that over half of the study’s participants were confident of success at the beginning.

Men achieved their goals more often when they engaged in specific goal setting.Women succeeded  more when they made their goals public and got support from their friends.How Have Resolutions Changed?

Americans’ Resolutions for 1947 – Gallup Poll
1. Improve my disposition, be more understanding, control my temper
2. Improve my character, live a better life
3. Stop smoking, smoke less
4. Save more money
5. Stop drinking, drink less
6. Be more religious, go to church oftener
7. Be more efficient, do a better job
8. Take better care of my health
9. Take greater part in home life
10. Lose (or gain) weight

Americans’ Resolutions for 2014 – University of Scranton

1. Lose weight
2. Getting organized
3. Spend less, save more
4. Enjoy life to the fullest
5. Stay fit and healthy
6. Learn something exciting
7. Quit smoking
8. Help others in their dreams
9. Fall in love
10. Spend more time with family

P.S. Weight loss has obviously become important to us. As a nation, we’re the heaviest we’ve ever been. And along with the extra pounds come physical conditions like diabetes and cardiovascular disease, as well as social stigmas like bullying and weight discrimination. But Abigail Saguy, a sociology and gender studies professor at University of California, Los Angeles, points out that bodies — especially women’s bodies — have always been imbued with some kind of social meaning, and she suspects that people are more interested in enjoying the elevated status of a socially acceptable body than improved health outcomes

The Grammarian’s New Year’s Resolutions – 2016

Well, it has been two years since the last New Year ‘s Resolution Post. And we are probably still trying to lose weight, get to the gym more often, be a better parent or friend or spouse, stop smoking, write that book, start that new business, and on and on.  Well, here are some grammar resolutions for 2016 — and no, they aren’t the same ones as two years ago!

1. I resolve never to correct anyone’s grammar—except in a published book or on TV or radio where the speaker is getting paid money to talk! Don’t correct your friends — even on Facebook — unless they specifically ask.

2. I resolve to form an opinion about the Oxford comma and to feel no guilt whether I want to use it or not. But please, be consistent in your use within the same piece of writing. Either use it or don’t — unless something would be unclear without it — or with it.

3. I resolve to not even think about separating two sentences with a comma unless there is a conjunction (like and, but, or so) present. A comma alone cannot separate two complete sentences. Try a semicolon or a period.

4. I resolve to learn the forms of the darn verb “to lie”: to realize that it is so confusing because lay is the past tense of lie, in addition to being it own present tense verb — and that lain really is a word.

5. I resolve to never use its’,  because someone made it up. With all the confusion between its and it’s, the last thing we need is a third option! By the way, please also avoid on accident. It is by accident — but on purpose. And while we are at it, it’s not a whole nother story; it’s a whole other story. Or another whole story.

6. I resolve to pronounce the word mischievous correctly. The accent is on the first syllable (mis), and the last syllable is pronounced vus, not vius.

7. I resolve to learn how to spell out BBQ, and to realize that there is no Q in it at all (barbecue). And there is no ham in hamburger. . .

8. I resolve to eliminate or limit my use of a lot — and to always use it as two separate words.

9. I resolve not to put an s on toward (British use towards; American English uses toward, although no big deal). Also it is in regard to, not in regards to. And there is no such word as anyways — it is anyway.

10. I resolve to understand that good grammar improves my communication skills and the image I project to others. However, it isn’t everything. And if I can’t figure something out, there is always a good grammar book around –speaking of which . . .

The Grammarian’s New Year’s Resolutions – 2014

Happy New Year to all! Ready to start the diet? Or go to the gym more often? Ready to write that book? Be a more patient driver? Better mother? Harder worker? Got those resolutions forming in your mind? Or have you given up the idea of making the same resolutions every year? Well, I thought you might want to make some of the grammarians’ resolutions for 2014….

1. I resolve never to correct anyone’s grammar—even on Facebook—unless I am asked.  If they want to embarrass themselves, well, that is their business. 

2. I resolve to proofread all my e-mails and texts, and especially to watch out for autocorrect. Last week I texted a G, and it turned into God bless you.

3. I resolve to let no sentence be ended before its time—with either a period, semicolon, or colon—and therefore become a fragment; and to let no sentence continue past its natural life, thus becoming a run on.

4. I resolve to give up my fear of the semicolon. The semicolon is quite harmless and has only a couple of uses. I will not be afraid to use one between two related sentences. However, I will also not confuse the semicolon with its distant cousin, the colon.

5. I resolve to have tolerance for both grammar hawks and grammar doves—hawks insisting on every grammar rule, outdated or not, and doves ready to disregard any  rule in favor of a life of literary chaos. 

6. I resolve never to utter any of the following words or phrases: have went; me and him went; between you and I; irregardless; could of, should of, or would of; haven’t hardly; I could care less; or he and myself.

7. I resolve that I will never put an apostrophe in a plain old plural unless not using the apostrophe would be confusing. This is very rare indeed.

8. I resolve not to misplace my modifiers, thus humiliating myself. While reading by the window, my dog did not jump into my lap because dogs usually don’t read. While walking under the shelves , the box did not fall on my head, because boxes don’t walk under shelves. While howling at the moon, a car did not stop to watch me because cars don’t howl at the moon, although I may.

9. I resolve not to make up words or abuse real words by pronouncing  them incorrectly. These words do not exist: mischevious, nucular, jewlery, and realator.

10. I resolve to understand that good grammar improves my communication skills and the image I project to others. However, it isn’t everything. And when I am thinking about my New Year resolutions,  I will remember that The Golden Rule overrules every grammar rule.

 

Happy 2024, everyone! I will be back “live” next week.

 

 

 

Some Christmas Trivia: Did You Know…

Image by sobima from PixabayMerry Christmas to all who celebrate! 

(Originally Published in December 2021…)

You might think that toys or electronics are the biggest selling items at Christmas, but actually that is not the case: clothing and accessories leads at 74%; food, drink, and wellness at 70%; toys at 64%; electronics at 47%; and kitchen and home goods at 36%.85% of us prefer free shipping to fast shipping.Holiday shopping can account for up to 30% of all retail sales. Men shop just as much as women, but men tend to spend more, with an average spend of over $725 for men and $609 for women in the United States.24% of millennials say they expect shipping in less than 24 hours.60% of U.S. consumers start their Christmas shopping before December. 60% of shoppers in the United States prefer to shop online. 24% of parents said they plan to spend $50 to $100 per child for Christmas gifts. 18% of parents had a budget of $150 to $200 per child, and 17% planned to spend more than $200 per child.Here are the top ten online retailers during the 2021 holiday shopping season, ranked by unique visits to the websites: Amazon, Walmart, eBay, Target, Apple Etsy, Best Buy, Home Depot, Macy’s, Kohl’s.The original title of “The Little Drummer Boy” was “Carol of the Drum.”Gingerbread houses originated in Germany in the 16th century.Candy canes are red and white to represent the purity of Jesus Christ and the blood he shed on the cross.Sherry is the alcohol added to the base of candy truffles.Wassail is made from apple cider, lemons, oranges, cinnamon, cloves, allspice, and nutmeg.The first Christmas tree was lit in Rockefeller Center in 1933.In Australia, people celebrate Christmas by gathering on the beach.Germany started the custom of putting up a Christmas tree.The first Christmas card was sent in 1843  and was designed by John Horsley, an English academic painter, illustrator, and designer.Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was created in 1939 by Robert L. May as an advertising gimmick for Montgomery Ward.Santa was born in 270 AD.Swedish children leave out coffee for Santa in case he is tired after delivering all those gifts!In a day when the Rockettes fo four shows (probably at Radio City Music Hall during the holiday season), they do 650 kicks!Rockettes!

So You Want To Be Santa?

Best of The Grammar Diva – from December 2015Image by Jo Justino from Pixabay

Perhaps you have always wanted to get paid to be Santa. Well, it is a little late to find one of those plum jobs this year, but here is some information you might want to know for next year. 

The pay isn’t great. The going rate for Santa is about $10 or $12 per hour — unless you are a Santa who is hired out for private parties, in which case you might make about $18 per hour. (It is eight years since this post was originally written, so let’s hope the pay has increased a bit!)

Here are some requirements and information for would-be Santas from real Santa want ads. My comments are in italics and parentheses. I have printed the important information in boldface:

1.Real bearded Santa Claus for our mall location (is that a real Santa or a real beard???). Must be able to stay in character and be great with children and families. Provide the full Christmas and Santa experience to guests. Financially rewarding and  incredibly emotionally rewarding! We provide a competitive salary with bonus incentives. All applicants must pass a national background check.

—————————–

2. Actors to portray Santa Claus at a local store. We will provide a custom-made Santa suit; you must bring the jolly appearance and experience for the part. You must be customer-service orientated and truly enjoy working with children. You must possess a true care and concern for fulfilling the Christmas dream for thousands of children.

Previous experience as Santa
Possess a jolly personality and laugh
Must be able to attend training classes 
Ability to meet a high volume of children
Must be able to pass a drug test
Must pass a background check

—————————-
3. Santa Claus to engage patrons into conversation. Meet and greet customers interested in communicating and taking photographic picture with Santa Claus. (Is there another kind of photo?)

Duties and Responsibilities:
Regularly communicates with patrons as they approach to talk and/or prepare for photos.
In a jovial manner engages customers in conversation for purposes of relaxing children to take photo (picture) with Santa (in case you don’t know that a photo IS a picture!).
High degree of professionalism, both visually and verbally, which exceeds customer expectations at all times when speaking to customers (adults and children).
Adheres to uniform standards by wearing Santa Claus costume at all times when greeting and meeting customers.  
Exercises tact, good manners, and courtesy when interacting and assisting customers and fellow associates.
Job requires long hours in sedentary position, and lifting of children to place upon lap while communicating and/or preparing for photographic picture. (Photographic picture? Do they mean pornographic??)
Performs other related duties as assigned. (Cleaning the bathrooms??)

———————————
4. Historic Hotel  is now hiring for a part-time Santa Claus.

POSITION SUMMARY:
Meet and greet children and their families dining at the Sunday Musical brunch.

SKILLS REQUIRED TO PERFORM ESSENTIAL DUTIES:

Strong customer service orientation
Strong listening skills and patience
Ability to deal well with people in a professional and courteous manner
Excellent phone skills (Are we calling Santa too?)
Proficiency in Open Table software (making dinner reservations?)

QUALIFICATIONS:
Must be 18 years of age or older. Must have a high school diploma or equivalent. Must be able to communicate effectively, both verbally and written, in English. Proficiency in Open Table is a must. Excellent hospitality skills. Self-motivated with excellent organizational skills and attention to detail. Ability to work a flexible schedule including extended hours, weekends and holidays.

PHYSICAL REQUIREMENTS:
Applicants must have the physical capability to lift, push or pull at least 30-50 pounds. Also, applicants must have the ability to use abdominal and back muscles and be able to stand for the duration of the shift. Must also have the ability to make fast, simple, repeated movements of the fingers, hands, and wrists, and to reach and stretch, bend, kneel and squat. (Is Santa going to dance?)

There will be a pre-employment drug screen, physical, and a nationwide criminal background check. Previous employment will be verified and references will be thoroughly checked.
Competitive wages based on experience and great work environment. Experience: Professional Santa Claus for 1 year

———————————–

5. Mall seeking an outgoing, jolly individual(s) to be Santa Claus for the 2015 Holiday Season! No Experience Necessary and Santa Suit Provided.

———————————–

6. This is a sales position for Santa Claus photos with children.
Employee will be required to show photos to parents, help them choose, make the sale and print the photos.

Applicant should be:

Friendly, reliable and have basic computer skills (iMac).
Salary: $12.00 /hour

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If you read this blog regularly, you know I have a fondness for phobias. They are entertaining and unusual. Here are some phobias that, if you have them,  might ruin your holiday season: 

fear of alcohol – methyphobia

fear of anything new – neophobia

fear of the color red – erythrophobia

fear of church – ecclesiophobia

fear of cooking  – mageirocophobia

fear of dolls – pediophobia

fear of eating – phagophobia

fear of food – cibophobia

fear of holy things – hagiophobia

fear of home – ecophobia

fear of ice or frost – pagophobia

fear of kissing – philemaphobia (watch the mistletoe!)

fear of laughter – geliophobia

fear of light – photophobia

fear of memories – mnemophobia

fear of religion – theophobia

fear of snow – chionophobia

Happy Holidays from The Grammar Diva!

A Little Holiday Music

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from PixabayBest of the Grammar Diva…

Many, many songs have been written about the holidays. And obviously many of them have the word Christmas in the title. A few even have Chanukah in the title.  Kwanzaa? Maybe.  Here is a list of just a few of those songs. Do you know who sang these songs — and in some cases made them hits? Of course, there are some songs recorded by more than one person, so you might have an answer that I don’t have.  Some of these will be easy. Others not so much. Try your hand at this….

Who sang/played/made these songs hits?

Merry Christmas DarlingRockin’ Around the Christmas TreeAll I Want for Christmas Is YouChristmas in DixieThe Chanukah SongWhite ChristmasIt’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like ChristmasBlue ChristmasWonderful ChristmastimeMr. Hankey the Christmas PooLast ChristmasChristmastime Is HereChristmas in HollisLast ChristmasThe Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to You)Thank God It’s ChristmasHappy Kwanzaa_______(Christmas Don’t Be Late)All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front TeethHappy Xmas (War Is Over)Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)The Hanukkah WaltzI Won’t Be Home for ChristmasHanukkah DanceFelix Navidad

 

Scroll down for the answers . . .

 

 

Merry Christmas Darling – The CarpentersRockin’ Around the Christmas Tree – Brenda LeeAll I Want for Christmas Is You – Mariah Carey/Lady Antebellum/Vince Vance/Michael BubleChristmas in Dixie – AlabamaThe Chanukah Song – Adam SandlerWhite Christmas – Bing CrosbyIt’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas – Johnny Mathis/Michael BubleBlue Christmas – Elvis PresleyWonderful Christmastime – Paul McCartney and WingsMr. Hankey the Christmas Poo – South Park gangLast Christmas – Taylor Swift/Ariana Grande/Carly Rae JepsonChristmastime Is Here – Vince GuaraldiChristmas in Hollis – Run DMZLast Christmas – WhamThe Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to You) – Nat King ColeThank God It’s Christmas – QueenHappy Kwanzaa – Teddy Prendergast_______(Christmas Don’t Be Late) – The Chipmunks featuring AlvinAll I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth – Spike JonesHappy Xmas (War Is Over) – John Lennon and Yoko OnoChristmas (Baby Please Come Home) – Darlene LoveThe Hanukkah Waltz – Bela Fleck and the FlecktonesI Won’t Be Home for Christmas – Blink-182Hanukkah Dance – Woody GuthrieFelix Navidad – Jose FelicianoWishing You and Yours a Wonderful Holiday Season!  

 

11 Reasons Why Books Make Great Gifts!

The Best of The Grammar Divaoriginally published on December 11, 2014

 

The holidays are upon us, and once again you are stumped. What do you get someone who apparently has everything? Or at least has the money to buy everything? What do you buy someone you don’t know so well? Books, that’s what! Why? Here are some great reasons:

Books are easy to get. You can get them in a store or online and you can have them delivered anywhere. You can even mail them book rate and save some money.Books are easy to wrap! No weird shapes! That helps people who wrap the way I do! They also fit nicely in gift bags.Books come in a huge variety of prices from the very inexpensive on up.You can buy books for any age recipient, from an infant to a senior — and you can generally tell, or find out, the ages the book was intended for.You can buy books for any gender of recipient.Everyone is interested in something, and there is always a book for that “something.” If you don’t know what that something is, there are always bestsellers that interest most everyone.Books keep on giving. If you like a book, you can then share it with someone else, who can then share it with someone else. Then, you can donate it.Books are entertaining. Books can take you into a new world — if even for just a little while.Books are very portable. Especially ebooks. They travel well and fill time well.Books are educational!

Shameless Promotion Section: Let’s focus on #10 for a minute. I’ll  bet you can think of someone — a student, a teacher, a recent graduate, a job seeker, a professional, someone for whom English is a second language, someone who writes frequently for their job, someone interested in words and language — who might really appreciate a grammar book. Not a thick, boring tome that reminds you of English class decades ago. . . . but a small, easy-to-read, light-hearted book that concentrates only on the mistakes that most people make when writing and speaking. Could someone you know (or maybe even you) use a book like that? Let’s see grammar books fit our other 9 reasons:

(1) Yes, they are easy to get. Amazon has them, as well as all other online book retailers (and this website). (2) Nice rectangles, they will be easy to wrap and inexpensive to send. (3) None cost more than $25 (4) They are intended for anyone from about 10 to 110, (5)Any gender! (6) Everyone needs good grammar, and (7) shares a great grammar book or donates it to a lucky school! (8)— They are as entertaining as a grammar book can be, while still giving you good information. (9) They are easy to carry, either in paperback or on your favorite reader. (10) And of course, they’re educational!

 11. Oh, I almost forgot #11! You can make a really nice Christmas tree out of books!

 

Nyms and More Nyms!

 

Best of The Grammar Diva…Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay

A few weeks ago, we talked about contronyms.   Contronyms are words that mean two opposite things, for example, sanction, which can mean to allow or to boycott. We all know about antonyms (opposites), synonyms (same meaning), and homonyms (sound the same), but there are many other words that end in -nym. We will talk about a few of them today.

Metonym –A word, phrase, place, or expression used as a substitute for something. For example, when we say Washington, we often mean the United States government:

There is a lot going on in Washington these days.I quit that job because there was too much going on around the water cooler. (Water cooler implies some place where there is gossip.)That looks like a Beverly Hills house to me. (fancy house such as you would see in Beverly Hills).Is the Pentagon planning something? (refers generally to the Department of Defense).

Metonyms do resemble metaphors. Metaphors are more based on similarity; metonyms are based on association.

Toponym – A toponym is simply the name of a place: Boston, Foggy River. However, there are different types of toponyms. Here are some of them. 

Descriptive – The Rocky Mountains,  Grass ValleyAssociative – Mall Road (there is a mall on the street)Incident –  Battle RiverCommemorative – St. LouisManufactured – Ytic (city spelled backwards)Mistaken – West Indies (historic errors)Shifted – Athens, Texas ; New England; Rome, New York (names taken from elsewhere)

Eponym – An eponym is a person (real or fictional) for which something or someplace is named. Here are some examples.

Walt Disney – DisneylandAchilles – Achilles heelAdonis – a handsome maleJonas Salk – Salk vaccineCharles Boycott – boycottRobert Bunsen – Bunsen burnerChristian Doppler – the Doppler effectJ. William Fulbright  – Fulbright scholarshipDr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde – Jekyll and Hyde personality (or split personality

Those last ones are fun and there are “zillions” of them!

 

 

 

Some Real Turkeys for Thanksgiving

 

Best of the Grammar Diva

I thought for turkey week, I would write a blog with some real grammar turkeys! Hope you get a chuckle or two…

Image by Miriam Verheyden from PixabaySome of My Favorite Goofs

Ambiguous modifier: Visiting relatives can be boring.

Misplaced modifier: For sale: Beautiful oak desk— perfect for student with large drawers

Shouldn’t there be a comma somewhere?  I just love to bake children.

Misplaced modifier: While still in diapers, my mother remarried.

Ambiguous modifier: He heard about the wedding in the men’s room.

Misplaced modifier: Wanted: A room by two gentlemen 30 feet long and 20 feet wide.

 

 Some Real Newspaper Headlines

4-H Girls Win Prizes for Fat Calves

Big Ugly Woman Wins Beauty Pageant (Newspaper in town of Big Ugly, WV)

Body Search Reveals $4,000 in Crack (from the Jackson Citizen-Patriot, Michigan)

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy (from the Louisville Courier Journal)

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case 

Eye Drops off Shelf 

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors 

Include your Children When Baking Cookies

A Little More Humor…

Butcher’s sign: Try our sausages. None like them.
A tailor’s guarantee: If the smallest hole appears after six months’ wear, we will make another absolutely free.
Lost: A small pony belonging to a young lady with a silver mane and tail.
Barber’s sign: Hair cut while you wait.
Lost: Wallet belonging to a young man made of calf skin

How About These?

It takes many ingredients to make Burger King great, but the secret ingredient is our people. (Yuck)
Slow Children Crossing
Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
“Elephants Please Stay In Your Car.”  (Warning at a safari park).

 And Some Easy-to-Understand Jargon! These guidelines are written in a matter-of-fact style that eschews jargon, the obscure and the insular. They are intended for use by the novice and the experienced alike. [From the United Kingdom Evaluation Society ‘Guidelines for good practice in evaluation’]This is a genuine ground floor opportunity to shape a front line field force operating in a matrix structure. [As stated on the ‘Take a Fresh Look at Wales’ website]The cause of the fire was due to a malicious ignition incident that was fortunately contained to the function and meeting room area of the hotel. [News statement about a fire at a hotel]Its clear lines and minimalist design provide it with an unmistakable look. It is daring, and different. So that your writing instrument not only carries your message, but lives it. [Promotional literature for … pens]Where the policy is divided into a number of distinct arrangements (‘Arrangements’) where benefits are capable of being taken from on Arrangement or group of Arrangements separately from other Arrangements, then this policy amendment will not apply to any Arrangements in respect of which the relevant policy proceeds have already been applied to provide benefits. The policy amendment will apply to all other Arrangements under the policy. [Policy amendment, Norwich Union]

And here is one that truly appeared in the newspaper; it was intended as a brief description of a Peter Ustinov documentary:

“Highlights of his global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demigod and a dildo collector”. (This quote is obviously British, since the period is after the quotations! And look what can happen if you leave out the Oxford comma!)

 

“Lay” and “Lie” Revisited

Image by ErikaWittlieb from PixabayThe Best of the Grammar DivaOriginally posted June 15, 2013

Lay and lie are two of the most confusing verbs in the language. Hopefully, after reading this blog post, you will finally be confident about the difference.

Let’s start here:

I read the books.

I play Monopoly.

He buys a shirt.

Look at the bolded words in the above sentences. They all receive the action of the verb. What do I read? Books. What do I play? Monopoly. What does he buy? A shirt. These words are all nouns (things) and are called direct objects.

Now look at these sentences:

I read all the time.

I play in the park.

He buys with a credit card.

What do I read? What do I play? What does he buy? These sentences don’t give the answer. They may answer the question where? (in the park), when? (all the time), or how? (with a credit card), but there is no noun (or pronoun) that answers what ? (or whom). In other words, those sentences, although they use the exact same verbs, have no direct objects.

Verbs that have direct objects are called transitive  verbs. Verbs that have no direct object are called intransitive verbs. Obviously, from the examples, the same verbs can be either, depending upon how they are used in the sentence. Some verbs, however, are usually transitive, and others are usually intransitive.

What on earth does this have to do with lay and lie?

Here we go: Lay is a transitive verb. Lie is an intransitive verb. Simply put, you must lay something.

Here are some examples of lay used correctly:

I lay my blanket on the sand. (lay a blanket)Please  l ay your books  on the table. (lay books)I am  laying my pen  here, so I don’t forget it. (laying my pen)

Here are some examples of lie used correctly:

I  lie  on the sand to get a tan.The books  are lying  on the table.My pen  is lying  on the desk.

*Notice that lay and lie have nothing to do with whether you are talking about people or objects. Objects can lie as well as people!

But wait! We have talked about only the present tense. The past tense is where things get complicated.

First, let’s talk about the verb lay, which is pretty simple.

Today, I am  laying  my blanket on the sand. (Present tense –  lay or laying ).Yesterday, I  laid  my blanket on the sand. (Past tense –  laid or was laying )Every day this week, I  have laid  my blanket on the sand.  (Past participle form, used with  have  or  had  –  have laid or  have been laying )

Now, let’s talk about lie, which is a little weirder:

Today, I am  lying  on the sand. (NOT laying – present tense –  lie or lying )Yesterday, I lay on the sand. (Yup! The past tense of  lie  is  lay . They did it to confuse us!  Lay or was lying )Every day this week, I  have lain  on the sand. (Past participle form, used with  have  or  had . Yes, lain is a word!  Have lain or have been lying)

Here is the verb LAY, completely conjugated, all six tenses:

Present:  lay  or  laying Past: laid or was layingFuture:  will lay  or  will be laying  Present Perfect:  have laid  or  have been laying Past Perfect:  had laid  or  had been laying Future Perfect:  will have laid  or  will have been laying

And here is the verb LIE, completely conjugated, all six tenses:

Present:  lie  or  lying Past:  lay  or  was lying Future:  will lie  or  will be lying Present Perfect:  have lain  or  have been lying Past Perfect:  had lain  or  had been lying Future Perfect:  will have lain  or  will have been lying

There! I hope this post has cleared up some of your confusion about lie and lay. As always, I welcome any questions  or comments. Now, I think I need another cup of coffee! Happy weekend!

 

For Instants….

Best of the Grammar Diva

When I taught seventh grade English, I used to give my students a Word of the Day. When we finished five or ten words, we would have a

Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

vocabulary quiz. The students needed to know the spelling, the part of speech, the definition, how to use the word in a sentence, and any related words we talked about that were different parts of speech taken from that word. I went pretty much alphabetically, and I always assigned the following words for the same quiz:

Instant

Instance

Incident

Incidence

Yes, it was very confusing. First of all, the plural of some of the words sounds the same as the singular of another: instants sounds the same as instance. Incidents sounds the same as incidence. Since instant is usually an adjective, it isn’t often used as a plural, but it can be used as a noun:

These cups of coffee are all made from ground beans, but these others are all instants.

Second of all, instance, incident, and incidence have similar meanings. Instant is a little different and most people know that it means “a moment, or a short span of time.”

Instance, which sounds like the plural of instant, doesn’t have much to do with instant. It means “a case or occurrence of anything, or an example put forth as proof”:

He often lies to his parents, but in this instance he was telling the truth.

An incident is simply something that happens, often negative; an individual occurrence or event:

There was an incident outside the restaurant last night, and the police were called.

After several incidents at school, she was suspended.

Instance is close to incident in meaning: 

After the third instance of her being insubordinate at school, she was suspended. 

The plural of incident sounds the same as the singular incidence. Incidence means “the rate or range of occurrence of something, especially of something unwanted”:

Since the new stop sign was placed on my street, the incidence of accidents has decreased. 

The incidence of crimes has increased in that neighborhood since the unemployment rate has risen.

Your vocabulary test will be on Wednesday. (Just kidding!)

Grammar Diva News  (from 2018)

November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). The first time I entered this contest of writing 50,000 words (about 250 pages) in the thirty days of November was in 2011, when I wrote my novel, now called Birds of a Feather, a light and entertaining book about four college girls in Boston during the 1980s. A few years ago, I attempted to write one of the sequels I had planned for that novel during NaNoWriMo. I started, but then lost a couple of days’ work on my computer (Poof! You know how that happens!) and was unable to recreate what I lost. I never have (yet) written those sequels. I have been wanting to write a book about my dating adventures for several years or more. Friends have also encouraged me to write it, so I am using this NaNoWriMo to finally do it. Yes, I know, it is supposed to be a novel, but a memoir is close enough in my book. So, it is day number 2 and I am on my way to write at Starbucks. Don’t worry. I am changing all the names and other identifying details in my book to protect the innocent (and guilty). Here is the mockup cover I did and the preliminary title. I do plan to publish the book at some point, but I think it is going to need a lot of work after the November first draft!

And please don’t forget about my grammar books! And reviews are always greatly appreciated, especially of my punctuation book, To Comma or Not to Comma.

 

 

 

Boo! It’s Time for Candy!

 

Best of the Grammar Diva!

I don’t know about you, but when I think of Halloween, I don’t think about pumpkins and goblins —

Image by M. Harris from Pixabay

I think about candy.  And when I got too old to go out with a pillowcase and get my own candy, I stole from my kids’ candy bags (didn’t you????). I loved candy more than they did – I probably still do. I would just take a piece at a time, hoping they wouldn’t notice.

What is your favorite candy? Of course I love chocolate, mostly dark chocolate. Nothing is better than dark-chocolate-covered creams, especially orange and raspberry, and maybe lemon. I also love Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (even though mostly they are milk chocolate) and Junior Mints. Right now I don’t eat candy, but when I do, my favorites are basically sugar: candy corn, Good and Plenty, and jelly beans. Yeah, I know: you either love candy corn or you hate it, and it seems that most people hate it, but I could eat it by the bag.

Whether or not you have bought any candy for trick-or-treaters yet, I thought you might be amused and intrigued by some dandy, candy trivia:

Favorite Halloween Candy – Depends on the state you live in. Candy corn is the favorite in Alabama, so perhaps I should move there! But Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Milky Way, and M&Ms are popular everywhere.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups – This candy was named after its originator, Harry Burnett Reese.

Candy Corn  – The Goelitz brand of candy corn has been around since 1898. It was originally called “chicken feed,” which I am sure some people would prefer to call it now. In 2001 the company changed its name to Jelly Belly. By the way, the Jelly Belly factory is in California. They have a wonderful tour with lots of samples, and they sell bags of irregular (rejected) jelly beans for cheap — they are called Belly Flops. By the way, an opened bag of candy corn can last for three to six months. In my house it can stay for only minutes before it is gone, but I know many people would say it doesn’t matter how fresh or stale it is, it tastes the same. 

Candy Cigarettes –  I don’t think these have been around for a long time, but they were around when I was a kid.  However, North Dakota banned these candies from 1953 to 1969 because they thought the candy would encourage kids to smoke cigarettes. 

Tootsie Rolls – Every day 64 million Tootsie Rolls are made.

Tootsie Roll Pops – It takes a licking machine 364-411 licks to get to the chocolate center of a Tootsie Roll Pop. But it takes a human only 144-252 licks. I am assuming the machines are for quality assurance!

Snickers – This candy bar was named after Franklin Mars’ deceased racehorse. The horse was raised at the family farm in Tennessee; the farm was called The Milky Way.

Cotton Candy – This candy was created by a dentist (!), William Morrison, along with confectioner John C. Wharton. It was originally called Fairy Floss until the name was changed to cotton candy in the 1920s. 

M&Ms – The two Ms stand for Forrest Mars and Bruce Murrie, who developed and financed them.

Image by Richard Manship from Pixabay

Junior Mints – This candy was named after the Broadway play Junior Miss, which ran from 1941 to 1943. 

Three Musketeers – This candy bar was so named because originally it featured pieces of chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry candy. However, during World War II, vanilla and strawberry were hard to find, so they went with just chocolate.

Peeps – (Yuck) – Before automation, it would take 27 hours to make a Peep. It now takes 6 minutes, and 5.5 million of them are made in their Pennsylvania factory every day. (Does all candy come from Pennsylvania? Hershey does.)

White Chocolate – Doesn’t even taste like chocolate to me. And why? Because it isn’t really chocolate and contains no cocoa solids at all.

Care for Some Wine? – Wine experts recommending pairing the following candies and wines: Whoppers with Cabernet, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups with Sherry, and  Hershey Kisses with Zinfandel.

How Much Candy Is Too Much? –  According to the American Chemical Society, eating 262 fun-size Halloween candy bars would poison a 180-pound person.

Happy Halloween! Eat some candy for me!