Arlene Miller's Blog, page 10

Spoonerisms, Knorks, and Fives

Image by ha11ok from PixabayNah! Spoonerisms have nothing to do with knorks and fives — or forks and knives. A spoonerism  is a verbal error in which a speaker accidentally transposes the initial sounds or letters of two or more words, often to humorous effect, for example, ” You have hissed the mystery lesson,” accidentally said instead of what was intended:  “You have missed the history lesson.” Here are a few more:Bunny phone instead of funny boneBelly jeans instead of jelly beansIt is kisstomery to cuss the bridebad salad instead of sad ballad What is the origin of the word spoonerism? William Archibald Spooner (1844 – 1930) was a British clergyman, most notable for his absent-mindedness, and for supposedly mixing up the syllables in a spoken phrase, with unintentionally comic effect. Such phrases became known as spoonerisms, and are often used humorously.  Is spoonerism related to dyslexia? In a study of a group of university students both with and without dyslexia, it was found that participants with dyslexia underperformed their peers in all phonological measures, including spoonerisms. 

What are mondegreens, and are they related to spoonerisms? A mondegreen is the result of  hearing something incorrectly, and thinking it is correct. Often, they happen with music or poetry. We will be talking about mondegreens later this month.

What are eggcorns, and are they related to spoonerisms? Yup. It is a really funny name.  Similar to mondegreens, eggcorns occur when a common phrase is changed to another similar sounding phrase: “for all intensive purposes” instead of “for all intents and purposes”  (pretty much the same as a malapropism).

The term egg corn (later becoming one word — eggcorn) was coined by professor of linguistics Geoffrey Pullum in 2003 in response to an article by Mark Liberman on a group blog for linguists. In his article, Liberman talked about a woman who had used the phrase egg corn for acorn, and he noted that this specific type of substitution lacked a name. Pullum suggested using egg corn itself as a label.

Children’s author Shel Silverstein’s book Runny Rabbit: A Billy Sook is a collection of kids’ poems based on spoonerisms. This one is called “The Kungle Jing”:

“Oh I am the Jing of the Kungle,”

Runny roared to one and all

When he wore his cion’s lostume

To the Walloheen bostume call.

But there he met a leal rion

Who said, “You’d best cake tare,

And do not start believin’

You’re the costume that you wear.”

  Thank you Wikipedia for some of the info.

Read Any Good Books Lately?

Image by Александра from Pixabay

As usual, I have been soaking up the books — because don’t they provide the answer to everything? Songwriting? Music theory? Law of attraction? Manifesting? AI? Chord progressions? I have books on all of those topics from Kindle Unlimited on my Kindle. I get most of my books from the library (I rarely buy books anymore) — both print (and large print LOL) and Kindle. However, when I want some fairly new information on something, I look to Kindle Unlimited. But you really have to be careful in these days of self-publishing, when everyone thinks they can write and publish a book. I look for books with a rating of four stars of more and a decent number of reviews. And if they turn out to be duds, easy to just return them and get something else. There is usually quite a large variety of choices.

But mostly I do read fiction — and mostly newish bestsellers. Here is what I have read lately. As I have told you before, once I read the last page of the book and close it, I rarely remember what it was about even if I really liked it.

The Keeper of Hidden Books by Madeline Martin — I am currently reading this one. It is from 2023 and is another one of the World War II books set in Poland featuring young women. So far, I am really enjoying it. 

Shelter by Harlan Coben — I don’t know where I heard about this one, but I must have heard something because I had to take out an interlibrary loan to find it (I have no idea why; he is a very popular author).  I don’t think I have ever read Coben before, and apparently this was his Young Adult novel debut. I didn’t realize it was Young Adult when I got it, but who cares? It was written in 2011, and I would recommend it. It is a thriller type, which I generally don’t read.

The Storm We Made — This is one of the most anticipated books of this year. It is a historical novel set in World War II Malaysia. It is both a spy story and a love story. Great book.

The Everything Songwriting Book — Well, this is one of my Kindle Unlimited books, as I have been wanting to dig out my old lyrics (from decades and decades ago, when I was a mere child). A very comprehensive book, which made me realize how difficult songwriting is!

Peyton’s Choice by Kimberley Johnson — I read this because Kimberley is an acquaintance of mine. It was written in 2016, and unfortunately, women no longer have the choice that Peyton had. Good book.

Greenwood Encyclopedia of Rock History — Found this one at the library when I was perusing music books. It is a five- or six-volume set. I already read (skimmed) the beginnings of rock and roll through the 50s. I am now reading volume 2, which is my favorite era, the early and mid 60s. I may not read any more of the books, since I am not so into those eras. I guess I could skim them to find out all I don’t know. They are very comprehensive books. Hardcover.

Practical Intuition by Laura Day —  Another of my Kindle Unlimited books, since I am in a intuition, synchronicity, law of attraction, manifestation phase. I remember the book was OK, but even though I recently finished it, I don’t remember a thing!

Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders — Like weird stuff? This book was recommended by a friend who does (so do I). It is a good book but a little hard to read. It is about Abraham Lincoln’s son Willie, who died as a child. It is fiction and the author’s debut novel (2017). The characters are both fictional and invented. The bardo is the state between death and rebirth. Try it. You might like it. 

Oath and Honor by Liz Cheney — Really good book. Well written and easy to read.

Manifesting — I don’t even know the title of this one, but it was another manifesting book. They are all pretty much the same!

The Human Stain by Philip Roth — This book was recommended to me. I have read Roth, and I thought I may have read this one before, but it didn’t seem familiar at all when I read it. Roth is a great writer. This one is about racism and secrets. It is the third book of three in Roth’s American Trilogy.

 

 

 

Malapropism: Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

A malapropism is the incorrect use of a word in place of a word with a similar sound, either unintentionally or for comedic effect.

For example, if you stop something at its beginning, you have “nipped it in the bud.” However, you may have heard people say “nipped it in the butt.” Or, if someone takes the blame for something they didn’t do, they are a “scapegoat,” not an “escape goat.”

Philosopher Donald Davidson has said that malapropisms show the complex process through which the brain translates thoughts into language.

Malapropisms are sometimes called Dogberryisms.  “Dogberryism” comes from the 1598 Shakespeare play Much Ado About Nothing in which the character Dogberry utters many malapropisms to humorous effect.

The word “malapropism” (and its earlier form, “malaprop”) comes from a character named “Mrs. Malaprop” in Richard Brinsley Sheridan’s 1775 play The Rivals. Mrs. Malaprop frequently misspeaks by using words that do not have the meaning that she intends but which sound similar to words that do. Sheridan chose her name in humorous reference to the word malapropos, an adjective or adverb meaning “poorly placed.” According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the first recorded use of “malapropos” in English is from 1630, and the first person known to have used the word “malaprop” specifically in the sense of “a speech error” is Lord Byron in 1814.

Though Shakespeare was an earlier writer than Sheridan, “malaprop/malapropism” seems an earlier coinage than “Dogberryism.”

Malapropisms tend to maintain the part of speech of the originally intended word.  Likewise, substitutions tend to have the same number of syllables and the same metrical structure – the same pattern of stressed and unstressed syllables – as the intended word or phrase.

Here are some examples of malapropisms from plays, movies, TV, etc.:

The fictional Mrs. Malaprop in Sheridan’s play The Rivals: “Illiterate him quite from your memory” (instead of obliterate), “he is the very pineapple of politeness” (instead of pinnacle), and “she’s as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of the Nile” (instead of alligator).

 

William Shakespeare used them in a number of his plays, almost invariably spoken by comic ill-educated lower-class characters. In Much Ado About Nothing, Constable Dogberry tells Governor Leonato, “Our watch, sir, have indeed comprehended two auspicious persons” (i.e., apprehended two suspicious persons).

 

Malapropism was one of Stan Laurel’s comic mannerisms. In Sons of the Desert, for example, he says that Oliver Hardy is suffering a nervous “shakedown” (rather than breakdown), calls the Exalted Ruler of their group the exhausted ruler, and says that he and Oliver are like “two peas in a pot” (instead of pod).

 

Emily Litella, a fictional character created and performed by American comedian Gilda Radner used malapropisms to entertain viewers on the late-night comedy show Saturday Night Live, including one skit in which she was puzzled over the hubbub surrounding the “plight of Soviet jewelry” instead of Soviet Jewry.

 

Ring Lardner used malapropism extensively for comic effect. For example, in his short story The Young Immigrunts, the four-year-old narrator repeatedly refers to a bride and groom as the “bride and glum.”

 

Archie Bunker, a character in the American TV sitcom All in the Family, used malapropisms frequently: he refers, for example, to “off-the-docks Jews” (Orthodox Jews) and the “Women’s Lubrication Movement” (rather than Liberation). Intending to refer to the medical specialized field of gynecology and to a specialist in that field as a gynecologist, he would mispronounce the words as groinecology and groinecologist. (Oh, those were the days!!)

Here are some unintentional malapropisms from media, sports, etc.:

Australian prime minister Tony Abbott once claimed that no one “is the suppository of all wisdom” (i.e., repository or depository).

 

Bertie Ahern, the Taoiseach of Ireland, warned his country against “upsetting the apple tart” (apple cart) of his country’s economic success.

 

Chicago mayor Richard J. Daley referred to a tandem bicycle as a tantrum bicycle and made mention of “Alcoholics Unanimous” (Alcoholics Anonymous).

 

Hall of Fame baseball player Yogi Berra was well known for corrupting speech, such as “Texas has a lot of electrical votes,” rather than electoral votes. 

 

Texas governor Rick Perry has been known to commonly utter malapropisms; for example, he described states as “lavatories of innovation and democracy” instead of laboratories.

 

World heavyweight champion boxer Mike Tyson, upon being asked about his next plans moments after losing in a world title fight with Lennox Lewis, declared that “I might fade into Bolivian” (oblivion).

 

During the COVID-19 pandemic, a common meme format was introduced where Internet users feigned malapropism by substituting the word “pandemic” with similar sounding words (such as panorama, pandemonium, or panini).

 

United States congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene has used malapropisms in both communications directed at her base as well as when she communicates with the rest of the world, including references to: “peach tree dish” (petri dish), “gazpacho police,” (gestapo), and “fragrantly violated…” (flagrantly), among others.

 

During the lead-up to the 2022 U.S. midterm elections, Republican Senate candidate Herschel Walker was mocked online after claiming “this erection is about the people” (election). 

I think that is as good a place to stop as any!

Thank you, Wikipedia and Bruce Blakely!

Remember Math?

Image by Helga from Pixabay

I think it was Barbie who said, “Math is hard.” (That is before she became enlightened.)

If you are just out of school, you probably remember math. For those of us who have been out of school for  a while, math is a distant (good or bad) memory unless we have chosen an occupation where you need it. I never needed it in any job, but I liked math in high school. I got through calculus and did pretty well. But I stayed as far away from the sciences as I could in college. I needed a couple of courses  as requirements so I took nutrition and astronomy. I might have dropped astronomy because I was failing for the first time in my academic life. Who knew it was a difficult math course?  Maybe I got it confused with astrology (LOL)

Thanks to my friend Don Grohman (who is a math and science person and former teacher) for much of the information in this post. (And please excuse the errant quotation marks. I copied and pasted and cannot seem to get rid of them.)

Binomial
This one might ring a bell from the days of algebra class. A binomial is a mathematical expression with two terms connected by a plus or minus sign. It looks something like this: 3×2 + 2y2. The word originates from the terms “bi,” meaning “two,” and “nomos,” meaning “part.” In contrast, a monomial has only one part, while a trinomial has three parts.

Exponent
In math, exponents are also called “powers.” An exponent describes how many times to multiply a number by itself. For example, in the case of 54, the exponent is the numeral 4 — meaning five is multiplied by itself four times. Using a term such as “exponent” is a shorthand in math. Saying “five to the fourth power” or “five with an exponent of four” is a lot quicker than listing out “5 x 5 x 5 x 5 = 625.”

Fractal
This is a geometry term that indicates a complex, never-ending pattern. Everyday, recognizable items such as snowflakes, lightning bolts, plants, leaves, crystals, and tree branches can be fractals. This relatively new mathematical term was coined in the 1970s by Polish mathematician Benoit B. Mandelbrot from the Latin root fractus, which means “broken.”

Hypotenuse
In the 1879 Gilbert & Sullivan opera The Pirates of Penzance, the modern major-general celebrates knowing “many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse” by bursting into song. But what is a hypotenuse? Quite simply, it’s the longest side of a right triangle, which is found directly opposite a right, or 90-degree, angle. The word comes from the Greek terms hupo, which means “under,” and teinein, which means “stretch.”

Integer
An integer is just a whole number; it’s not a fraction or decimal. In other words, 1 is an integer. So are 205, 6,784, and -32. But 6.75 and 8½ are not integers. The word comes from the Latin terms in, meaning “whole,” and tangere, meaning “to touch.” It has similar roots to “integral” and “integrity.”

Polygon
One of the first things children learn about in school is the concept of shapes, and that’s what a polygon is — a figure with at least three straight sides and angles. Simple polygons include triangles, squares, pentagons, and even stars. However, shapes such as circles, hearts, and moons are not polygons because they have curves. The word “polygon” comes from the Greek term polugōnos, meaning “many-angled.”

Quadratic
A quadratic equation involves unknown variables with an exponent no higher than the second power. It looks something like this: ax2 + bx + c = 0. This equation can strike fear into the hearts of beginning algebra students, but learning how to solve this unlocks a world of mathematical power. The basic formula is used across almost every field of engineering, science, and business. The name comes from the Latin word quadraticus, meaning “made square.”

Theorem
While students (and adults) can get lost in a sea of numbers and symbols, math has always involved logic and reasoning, and theorems are the base of that. A theorem is a general proposition that can be proved by a chain of reasoning. Mathematicians use proofs that are previously accepted truths to logically establish that a theorem is correct.

Probably the most famous theorem is the Pythagorean theorem (a2 + b2 = c2), which is at least as old as 500 BCE. In this theorem, “a” and “b” are the lengths of the two legs of a right-angle triangle, and “c” is the length of the hypotenuse. When any two of the values of the theorem are known, the other can be calculated; and many other values can be determined, based on the Pythagorean theorem.

Here are some other “weird” math terms:

Fibonacci sequence
Named after an early Italian mathematician, the Fibonacci sequence is a string of numbers where each number in the sequence is the sum of the two preceding numbers. For example, 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21.

Chaos theory
Chaos theory studies how tiny changes in parts of a system can create enormous differences in the overall behavior of the larger system. The most famous representation is the so-called butterfly effect, which imagines that the flapping of a butterfly’s wings on one continent could trigger a chain of events that lead to a tornado on another continent.

Asymptote
In math, asymptotes can be vertical, horizontal, or slanted lines that graphs can approach, but can never touch. It’s the mathematical equivalent of walking toward a fixed object at a pace that gets gradually slower and slower. Although the object gets closer and closer, the person doing the walking will never actually reach it.

Wiener measure (yes, really)
Size matters in math too. But the Wiener measure, named after American mathematician Norbert Wiener, who died in 1964, is an indication of how likely it is for a continuous function (think of a graph showing daily fluctuations in stock prices) to lie within certain limits.

 

And Three Months Are Over…

Image by Mohamed Hassan from PixabayHappy New Year! May you all have a happy, peaceful, healthy 2024!

My three-month hiatus from The Grammar Diva Blog is over. What was I doing? Where am I now? What is next?

What Was I Doing?

Please keep in mind that this blog has now been going for 13 years! Every week —  with the exception of a few times off and some guest posts — makes about 500 posts that I have written. 

I was at the end of a big self-improvement (mostly physical) program that took up about two thirds of the year. (No, I did not get a face lift!! But I did lose at least 25 pounds.)I couldn’t think of anything more to write about grammar. The posts you seem to like most are the ones with some grammar instruction. It was the holidays, and I had some family here from Canada from mid October to mid November.My darling granddaughter was in the hospital with RSV for her first birthday in early December.  She is OK now.I was reading a lot and steadily increasing my coffee intake (much of it decaf). Last spring I went off coffee completely for three months. Forget that! But now I am probably drinking too much coffee and not enough water.  It seems that all I want to do is read,drink coffee, and shop, both online (Amazon mostly) and in stores. I have become rather complacent because my books (mostly my workbook) fortunately continue to sell.

Where Am I Now?

I was hoping that my ambition would return after the first of the year, which is now.  I have some projects in mind. Maybe I have too many projects, and that is why I am stuck.I have a romance novel that I could finish. It needs more research, some additions, and some restructuring. I am ambivalent about it, so if it is not going to sell, why bother?I have been planning to write a business writing book for years. I have collected some research materials, but haven’t done any research yet. I have decided that if I do it, it will be a workbook. Workbooks are popular.I have another idea for a book that I am interested in doing. It will be require a lot of research and is about one of my other passions: music. Should I do it? I ask myself.I want to continue fooling around with the piano until I can play with a rock and roll band! I was practicing several months ago and then stopped. I need to get going on that.I used to write song lyrics (and some melodies) when I was a preteen and teen. I still have them, and I want to look at them and see if I can rework some of them and compose the music as well.I have thought that maybe I should find a way to make more money, for example, doing that online grammar course I have been thinking about for so long. Or coaching writers….or students. 

What Is Next for the Blog?

I have been thinking for a while that I am out of ideas. I have taught pretty much everything about grammar that I know over these 13 years, sometimes two or three times. I have done other types of posts as well. So I have several thoughts concerning the blog:

I have considered doing it monthly instead of weekly, so I might have an easier time coming up with ideas.I have considered getting more guest posts (I need your help!!)I have considered writing things that don’t relate so much to grammar (no politics or religion, I promise).I have considered more variety: One guest post a month, one Best Of post a month, one original grammar-related post a month, one post with links to interesting articles a month.My daughter and granddaughter got me this program called Storyworth for Christmas. You get a prompt every week, and then you write. At the end of the year, they create a book for you with all our stories. Maybe some of them will relate to things in this blog. I did the first one, and some of it would apply here. Or maybe you could give me a writing prompt, and I will write a blog post from te prompt. Maybe more posts about writing in general. Maybe more feedback from you.

So, as you see, I would love some feedback: ideas, guest posts, what you like, what you want to see, etc. Just put them in the comments. Thank you.

It’s good to be back live!

Ghosts of New Years Past

Image by Annette Meyer from PixabayThe Best of The Grammar Diva

I began writing this blog at the beginning of 2013 — every week . 

So I have done several New Year posts. I thought I would share with you a collage of a few New Year posts from years past…

What Are YOUR Resolutions?

I think it was last year that I asked my readers and my social media connections to give me their New Year’s resolutions, promising anonymity. Hmm…..I suppose I should be happy that I got very few responses: I must have a very happy, self-satisfied group of friends and readers!

But I did get a few:

Not to feel critical of the writer who makes an error or to think less of him or her, but just to be grateful I am still able to catch the error! (No, that is not my resolution!!)Give up swearing. (No, that isn’t mine either!)Resolving that next year I will make a resolution — and I always do! ( Not mine, I swear!) Not taking everything to heart and thinking everything is a slight. Life is too short (Okay, that’s mine!)Not saying anything at all if I have nothing nice to say. (Mine too)

According to Statista, these were the most common resolutions for 2018:

Eat healthier.Get more exercise.Save more money.Take care of oneself better, e.g., get more sleep.Read more.Make new friends.Learn a new skill.Get a new job.Take up a new hobby.I am not making any New Year’s resolutions. (32% of us)

45% of us usually make resolutions (almost half of us are unhappy??)

38% of us never do.

17% infrequently do.

So how is the success rate? Well, 75% of resolutions make it through the first week, 71% make it through two weeks, 64% make it past a month, and 46% make it through six months. That is higher than I would expect!

Here are some tips on how to make your resolutions more successful: (These ideas generally make anything you plan to do more successful.)

Be specific: Instead of saying “get in shape, ” say “exercise three times a week.”Write the resolutions down.Make a timetable. Establish small goals along the way. Don’t give up. If you eat the whole chocolate cake, don’t give up. Just don’t figure you might as well eat one every day now! (I tend to think like that.)Get support from friends and family —  or whomever you trust has your best interest in mind.

If you are focusing on good health, here are some suggested resolutions  that are easy to accomplish. (from Good Housekeeping.)

Add more citrus to your grocery cart.Eat lots of veggies.Book all your doctor visits for the year. What are you due for?Confide your resolutions to one friend only.Become a plant owner. Plants are calming. Forget multitasking. Do one thing at a time. (Yeah, sure.)Scent your environment. Peppermint gives you energy. Lavender reduces stress.Climb the stairs.Decorate with memorabilia, for example, old family pictures.Sanitize your phone weekly. (good one!)Plan a vacation. At least two a year is healthiest.Practice yoga.Listen to novels while you work out.Volunteer.Delegate more chores.Keep clutter out of the kitchen.Wear workout gear that makes you feel good.Explore new hobbies.Listen to upbeat music.Be sure to take a lunch break.Donate old clothes. Don’t keep those size 4 jeans until you can get into them again!Switch up your exercise routine.Give yourself more compliments.Spend less time glued to your phone.Learn a new skill.Keep up-to-date with current events. (Well, maybe not.)Meditate every day.Go to bed on time.Get some new workout shoes.Write to yourself. And be kind when you do.

 

Where Did New Year’s Resolutions Come From?

Although New Year’s resolutions are most common in the Western Hemisphere, they are found all over the word. 

The ancient Babylonians were apparently the first people to make New Year’s resolutions, about 4,000 years ago. However, for them the year began not in January, but in mid-March when the crops were planted. During a 12-day religious festival known as Akitu, the Babylonians crowned a new king or reaffirmed their loyalty to the reigning king.  They made promises to the gods to pay their debts and return any farm equipment they had borrowed.

The Romans began each year by making promises to the god Janus, for whom the month of January is named. The early Roman calendar consisted of 10 months and 304 days, with each new year beginning at the vernal equinox. It was created by Romulus, the founder of Rome, in the eighth century B.C. Over the centuries, the calendar fell out of sync with the sun, and in 46 B.C. the emperor Julius Caesar consulted with the most prominent astronomers and mathematicians of his time. He introduced the Julian calendar, which closely resembles the calendar that most countries around the world use today.

Caesar instituted January 1 as the first day of the year, partly to honor  Janus, the Roman god of beginnings, whose two faces allowed him to look both back into the past and forward into the future. Romans celebrated the new year by offering sacrifices to Janus, exchanging gifts with one another, decorating their homes with laurel branches, and attending raucous parties.

In the Medieval era, the knights took the “peacock vow” at the end of the Christmas season each year to re-affirm their commitment to chivalry.

This tradition has other religious parallels. In Judaism. on Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement),  the culmination of the Jewish New Year, Jews reflect upon their wrongdoings over the past year and seek forgiveness. And the practice of New Year’s resolutions came, in part, from the Lenten sacrifices of Christians. The concept, regardless of creed, is the annual reflection upon self-improvement.

Despite the tradition’s religious roots, New Year’s resolutions today are a secular practice. Instead of making promises to the gods, most people make resolutions  to themselves and focus purely on self-improvement. 

So Who Makes Resolutions? And Who Keeps Them?

At the end of the Great Depression, about 25% of American adults made New Year’s resolutions. At the beginning of the 21st century, about 40% did. And those who make common resolutions such as weight loss, increased exercising, or quitting smoking are at least ten times more likely to succeed compared with those who do not make resolutions.

Here are the most common reasons for people failing at their New Year’s Resolutions:

Unrealistic goals (35%)Not keeping track of progress (33% )Forgetting all about it (23%) Making too many resolutions (10%)

A 2007 study by Richard Wiseman from the University of Bristol involving 3,000 people showed that 88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail despite the fact that over half of the study’s participants were confident of success at the beginning.

Men achieved their goals more often when they engaged in specific goal setting.Women succeeded  more when they made their goals public and got support from their friends.How Have Resolutions Changed?

Americans’ Resolutions for 1947 – Gallup Poll
1. Improve my disposition, be more understanding, control my temper
2. Improve my character, live a better life
3. Stop smoking, smoke less
4. Save more money
5. Stop drinking, drink less
6. Be more religious, go to church oftener
7. Be more efficient, do a better job
8. Take better care of my health
9. Take greater part in home life
10. Lose (or gain) weight

Americans’ Resolutions for 2014 – University of Scranton

1. Lose weight
2. Getting organized
3. Spend less, save more
4. Enjoy life to the fullest
5. Stay fit and healthy
6. Learn something exciting
7. Quit smoking
8. Help others in their dreams
9. Fall in love
10. Spend more time with family

P.S. Weight loss has obviously become important to us. As a nation, we’re the heaviest we’ve ever been. And along with the extra pounds come physical conditions like diabetes and cardiovascular disease, as well as social stigmas like bullying and weight discrimination. But Abigail Saguy, a sociology and gender studies professor at University of California, Los Angeles, points out that bodies — especially women’s bodies — have always been imbued with some kind of social meaning, and she suspects that people are more interested in enjoying the elevated status of a socially acceptable body than improved health outcomes

The Grammarian’s New Year’s Resolutions – 2016

Well, it has been two years since the last New Year ‘s Resolution Post. And we are probably still trying to lose weight, get to the gym more often, be a better parent or friend or spouse, stop smoking, write that book, start that new business, and on and on.  Well, here are some grammar resolutions for 2016 — and no, they aren’t the same ones as two years ago!

1. I resolve never to correct anyone’s grammar—except in a published book or on TV or radio where the speaker is getting paid money to talk! Don’t correct your friends — even on Facebook — unless they specifically ask.

2. I resolve to form an opinion about the Oxford comma and to feel no guilt whether I want to use it or not. But please, be consistent in your use within the same piece of writing. Either use it or don’t — unless something would be unclear without it — or with it.

3. I resolve to not even think about separating two sentences with a comma unless there is a conjunction (like and, but, or so) present. A comma alone cannot separate two complete sentences. Try a semicolon or a period.

4. I resolve to learn the forms of the darn verb “to lie”: to realize that it is so confusing because lay is the past tense of lie, in addition to being it own present tense verb — and that lain really is a word.

5. I resolve to never use its’,  because someone made it up. With all the confusion between its and it’s, the last thing we need is a third option! By the way, please also avoid on accident. It is by accident — but on purpose. And while we are at it, it’s not a whole nother story; it’s a whole other story. Or another whole story.

6. I resolve to pronounce the word mischievous correctly. The accent is on the first syllable (mis), and the last syllable is pronounced vus, not vius.

7. I resolve to learn how to spell out BBQ, and to realize that there is no Q in it at all (barbecue). And there is no ham in hamburger. . .

8. I resolve to eliminate or limit my use of a lot — and to always use it as two separate words.

9. I resolve not to put an s on toward (British use towards; American English uses toward, although no big deal). Also it is in regard to, not in regards to. And there is no such word as anyways — it is anyway.

10. I resolve to understand that good grammar improves my communication skills and the image I project to others. However, it isn’t everything. And if I can’t figure something out, there is always a good grammar book around –speaking of which . . .

The Grammarian’s New Year’s Resolutions – 2014

Happy New Year to all! Ready to start the diet? Or go to the gym more often? Ready to write that book? Be a more patient driver? Better mother? Harder worker? Got those resolutions forming in your mind? Or have you given up the idea of making the same resolutions every year? Well, I thought you might want to make some of the grammarians’ resolutions for 2014….

1. I resolve never to correct anyone’s grammar—even on Facebook—unless I am asked.  If they want to embarrass themselves, well, that is their business. 

2. I resolve to proofread all my e-mails and texts, and especially to watch out for autocorrect. Last week I texted a G, and it turned into God bless you.

3. I resolve to let no sentence be ended before its time—with either a period, semicolon, or colon—and therefore become a fragment; and to let no sentence continue past its natural life, thus becoming a run on.

4. I resolve to give up my fear of the semicolon. The semicolon is quite harmless and has only a couple of uses. I will not be afraid to use one between two related sentences. However, I will also not confuse the semicolon with its distant cousin, the colon.

5. I resolve to have tolerance for both grammar hawks and grammar doves—hawks insisting on every grammar rule, outdated or not, and doves ready to disregard any  rule in favor of a life of literary chaos. 

6. I resolve never to utter any of the following words or phrases: have went; me and him went; between you and I; irregardless; could of, should of, or would of; haven’t hardly; I could care less; or he and myself.

7. I resolve that I will never put an apostrophe in a plain old plural unless not using the apostrophe would be confusing. This is very rare indeed.

8. I resolve not to misplace my modifiers, thus humiliating myself. While reading by the window, my dog did not jump into my lap because dogs usually don’t read. While walking under the shelves , the box did not fall on my head, because boxes don’t walk under shelves. While howling at the moon, a car did not stop to watch me because cars don’t howl at the moon, although I may.

9. I resolve not to make up words or abuse real words by pronouncing  them incorrectly. These words do not exist: mischevious, nucular, jewlery, and realator.

10. I resolve to understand that good grammar improves my communication skills and the image I project to others. However, it isn’t everything. And when I am thinking about my New Year resolutions,  I will remember that The Golden Rule overrules every grammar rule.

 

Happy 2024, everyone! I will be back “live” next week.

 

 

 

Some Christmas Trivia: Did You Know…

Image by sobima from PixabayMerry Christmas to all who celebrate! 

(Originally Published in December 2021…)

You might think that toys or electronics are the biggest selling items at Christmas, but actually that is not the case: clothing and accessories leads at 74%; food, drink, and wellness at 70%; toys at 64%; electronics at 47%; and kitchen and home goods at 36%.85% of us prefer free shipping to fast shipping.Holiday shopping can account for up to 30% of all retail sales. Men shop just as much as women, but men tend to spend more, with an average spend of over $725 for men and $609 for women in the United States.24% of millennials say they expect shipping in less than 24 hours.60% of U.S. consumers start their Christmas shopping before December. 60% of shoppers in the United States prefer to shop online. 24% of parents said they plan to spend $50 to $100 per child for Christmas gifts. 18% of parents had a budget of $150 to $200 per child, and 17% planned to spend more than $200 per child.Here are the top ten online retailers during the 2021 holiday shopping season, ranked by unique visits to the websites: Amazon, Walmart, eBay, Target, Apple Etsy, Best Buy, Home Depot, Macy’s, Kohl’s.The original title of “The Little Drummer Boy” was “Carol of the Drum.”Gingerbread houses originated in Germany in the 16th century.Candy canes are red and white to represent the purity of Jesus Christ and the blood he shed on the cross.Sherry is the alcohol added to the base of candy truffles.Wassail is made from apple cider, lemons, oranges, cinnamon, cloves, allspice, and nutmeg.The first Christmas tree was lit in Rockefeller Center in 1933.In Australia, people celebrate Christmas by gathering on the beach.Germany started the custom of putting up a Christmas tree.The first Christmas card was sent in 1843  and was designed by John Horsley, an English academic painter, illustrator, and designer.Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was created in 1939 by Robert L. May as an advertising gimmick for Montgomery Ward.Santa was born in 270 AD.Swedish children leave out coffee for Santa in case he is tired after delivering all those gifts!In a day when the Rockettes fo four shows (probably at Radio City Music Hall during the holiday season), they do 650 kicks!Rockettes!

So You Want To Be Santa?

Best of The Grammar Diva – from December 2015Image by Jo Justino from Pixabay

Perhaps you have always wanted to get paid to be Santa. Well, it is a little late to find one of those plum jobs this year, but here is some information you might want to know for next year. 

The pay isn’t great. The going rate for Santa is about $10 or $12 per hour — unless you are a Santa who is hired out for private parties, in which case you might make about $18 per hour. (It is eight years since this post was originally written, so let’s hope the pay has increased a bit!)

Here are some requirements and information for would-be Santas from real Santa want ads. My comments are in italics and parentheses. I have printed the important information in boldface:

1.Real bearded Santa Claus for our mall location (is that a real Santa or a real beard???). Must be able to stay in character and be great with children and families. Provide the full Christmas and Santa experience to guests. Financially rewarding and  incredibly emotionally rewarding! We provide a competitive salary with bonus incentives. All applicants must pass a national background check.

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2. Actors to portray Santa Claus at a local store. We will provide a custom-made Santa suit; you must bring the jolly appearance and experience for the part. You must be customer-service orientated and truly enjoy working with children. You must possess a true care and concern for fulfilling the Christmas dream for thousands of children.

Previous experience as Santa
Possess a jolly personality and laugh
Must be able to attend training classes 
Ability to meet a high volume of children
Must be able to pass a drug test
Must pass a background check

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3. Santa Claus to engage patrons into conversation. Meet and greet customers interested in communicating and taking photographic picture with Santa Claus. (Is there another kind of photo?)

Duties and Responsibilities:
Regularly communicates with patrons as they approach to talk and/or prepare for photos.
In a jovial manner engages customers in conversation for purposes of relaxing children to take photo (picture) with Santa (in case you don’t know that a photo IS a picture!).
High degree of professionalism, both visually and verbally, which exceeds customer expectations at all times when speaking to customers (adults and children).
Adheres to uniform standards by wearing Santa Claus costume at all times when greeting and meeting customers.  
Exercises tact, good manners, and courtesy when interacting and assisting customers and fellow associates.
Job requires long hours in sedentary position, and lifting of children to place upon lap while communicating and/or preparing for photographic picture. (Photographic picture? Do they mean pornographic??)
Performs other related duties as assigned. (Cleaning the bathrooms??)

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4. Historic Hotel  is now hiring for a part-time Santa Claus.

POSITION SUMMARY:
Meet and greet children and their families dining at the Sunday Musical brunch.

SKILLS REQUIRED TO PERFORM ESSENTIAL DUTIES:

Strong customer service orientation
Strong listening skills and patience
Ability to deal well with people in a professional and courteous manner
Excellent phone skills (Are we calling Santa too?)
Proficiency in Open Table software (making dinner reservations?)

QUALIFICATIONS:
Must be 18 years of age or older. Must have a high school diploma or equivalent. Must be able to communicate effectively, both verbally and written, in English. Proficiency in Open Table is a must. Excellent hospitality skills. Self-motivated with excellent organizational skills and attention to detail. Ability to work a flexible schedule including extended hours, weekends and holidays.

PHYSICAL REQUIREMENTS:
Applicants must have the physical capability to lift, push or pull at least 30-50 pounds. Also, applicants must have the ability to use abdominal and back muscles and be able to stand for the duration of the shift. Must also have the ability to make fast, simple, repeated movements of the fingers, hands, and wrists, and to reach and stretch, bend, kneel and squat. (Is Santa going to dance?)

There will be a pre-employment drug screen, physical, and a nationwide criminal background check. Previous employment will be verified and references will be thoroughly checked.
Competitive wages based on experience and great work environment. Experience: Professional Santa Claus for 1 year

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5. Mall seeking an outgoing, jolly individual(s) to be Santa Claus for the 2015 Holiday Season! No Experience Necessary and Santa Suit Provided.

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6. This is a sales position for Santa Claus photos with children.
Employee will be required to show photos to parents, help them choose, make the sale and print the photos.

Applicant should be:

Friendly, reliable and have basic computer skills (iMac).
Salary: $12.00 /hour

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If you read this blog regularly, you know I have a fondness for phobias. They are entertaining and unusual. Here are some phobias that, if you have them,  might ruin your holiday season: 

fear of alcohol – methyphobia

fear of anything new – neophobia

fear of the color red – erythrophobia

fear of church – ecclesiophobia

fear of cooking  – mageirocophobia

fear of dolls – pediophobia

fear of eating – phagophobia

fear of food – cibophobia

fear of holy things – hagiophobia

fear of home – ecophobia

fear of ice or frost – pagophobia

fear of kissing – philemaphobia (watch the mistletoe!)

fear of laughter – geliophobia

fear of light – photophobia

fear of memories – mnemophobia

fear of religion – theophobia

fear of snow – chionophobia

Happy Holidays from The Grammar Diva!

A Little Holiday Music

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from PixabayBest of the Grammar Diva…

Many, many songs have been written about the holidays. And obviously many of them have the word Christmas in the title. A few even have Chanukah in the title.  Kwanzaa? Maybe.  Here is a list of just a few of those songs. Do you know who sang these songs — and in some cases made them hits? Of course, there are some songs recorded by more than one person, so you might have an answer that I don’t have.  Some of these will be easy. Others not so much. Try your hand at this….

Who sang/played/made these songs hits?

Merry Christmas DarlingRockin’ Around the Christmas TreeAll I Want for Christmas Is YouChristmas in DixieThe Chanukah SongWhite ChristmasIt’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like ChristmasBlue ChristmasWonderful ChristmastimeMr. Hankey the Christmas PooLast ChristmasChristmastime Is HereChristmas in HollisLast ChristmasThe Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to You)Thank God It’s ChristmasHappy Kwanzaa_______(Christmas Don’t Be Late)All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front TeethHappy Xmas (War Is Over)Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)The Hanukkah WaltzI Won’t Be Home for ChristmasHanukkah DanceFelix Navidad

 

Scroll down for the answers . . .

 

 

Merry Christmas Darling – The CarpentersRockin’ Around the Christmas Tree – Brenda LeeAll I Want for Christmas Is You – Mariah Carey/Lady Antebellum/Vince Vance/Michael BubleChristmas in Dixie – AlabamaThe Chanukah Song – Adam SandlerWhite Christmas – Bing CrosbyIt’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas – Johnny Mathis/Michael BubleBlue Christmas – Elvis PresleyWonderful Christmastime – Paul McCartney and WingsMr. Hankey the Christmas Poo – South Park gangLast Christmas – Taylor Swift/Ariana Grande/Carly Rae JepsonChristmastime Is Here – Vince GuaraldiChristmas in Hollis – Run DMZLast Christmas – WhamThe Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to You) – Nat King ColeThank God It’s Christmas – QueenHappy Kwanzaa – Teddy Prendergast_______(Christmas Don’t Be Late) – The Chipmunks featuring AlvinAll I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth – Spike JonesHappy Xmas (War Is Over) – John Lennon and Yoko OnoChristmas (Baby Please Come Home) – Darlene LoveThe Hanukkah Waltz – Bela Fleck and the FlecktonesI Won’t Be Home for Christmas – Blink-182Hanukkah Dance – Woody GuthrieFelix Navidad – Jose FelicianoWishing You and Yours a Wonderful Holiday Season!  

 

11 Reasons Why Books Make Great Gifts!

The Best of The Grammar Divaoriginally published on December 11, 2014

 

The holidays are upon us, and once again you are stumped. What do you get someone who apparently has everything? Or at least has the money to buy everything? What do you buy someone you don’t know so well? Books, that’s what! Why? Here are some great reasons:

Books are easy to get. You can get them in a store or online and you can have them delivered anywhere. You can even mail them book rate and save some money.Books are easy to wrap! No weird shapes! That helps people who wrap the way I do! They also fit nicely in gift bags.Books come in a huge variety of prices from the very inexpensive on up.You can buy books for any age recipient, from an infant to a senior — and you can generally tell, or find out, the ages the book was intended for.You can buy books for any gender of recipient.Everyone is interested in something, and there is always a book for that “something.” If you don’t know what that something is, there are always bestsellers that interest most everyone.Books keep on giving. If you like a book, you can then share it with someone else, who can then share it with someone else. Then, you can donate it.Books are entertaining. Books can take you into a new world — if even for just a little while.Books are very portable. Especially ebooks. They travel well and fill time well.Books are educational!

Shameless Promotion Section: Let’s focus on #10 for a minute. I’ll  bet you can think of someone — a student, a teacher, a recent graduate, a job seeker, a professional, someone for whom English is a second language, someone who writes frequently for their job, someone interested in words and language — who might really appreciate a grammar book. Not a thick, boring tome that reminds you of English class decades ago. . . . but a small, easy-to-read, light-hearted book that concentrates only on the mistakes that most people make when writing and speaking. Could someone you know (or maybe even you) use a book like that? Let’s see grammar books fit our other 9 reasons:

(1) Yes, they are easy to get. Amazon has them, as well as all other online book retailers (and this website). (2) Nice rectangles, they will be easy to wrap and inexpensive to send. (3) None cost more than $25 (4) They are intended for anyone from about 10 to 110, (5)Any gender! (6) Everyone needs good grammar, and (7) shares a great grammar book or donates it to a lucky school! (8)— They are as entertaining as a grammar book can be, while still giving you good information. (9) They are easy to carry, either in paperback or on your favorite reader. (10) And of course, they’re educational!

 11. Oh, I almost forgot #11! You can make a really nice Christmas tree out of books!