Lyda Morehouse's Blog, page 56

Fan Art Extravaganza

It's been a long time since I've posted my fan art here, so I'm afraid there's a bit of a backlog. First off, I have some "random Renji":



Then, I have several that go along with a piece of collaborative fan fic which I wrote with fellow Bleach aficionado and writer empty_mirrors . Our story picks up shortly after Aizen's betrayal and Ichigo's return to Karakara Town, and Renji has been assigned to the human world under the "care" of Urahara and his fellow outlaws at the shoten. Things go awry, as they say.. You can read what we've posted so far, here: http://archiveofourown.org/series/29688



And, then things get even "worse" for our boy Renji:



Then I had fun imagining newly Vizard!Renji in a moment, I'd like to call, "Surprise, Taicho!"



There are actually a few more, but this is enough for now. Enjoy!

Awake at 3 am Again...

I woke up a couple hours ago with the sensation that I had STUFF TO DO, so I took the time to finally (after almost 12 months and two laptops) update my static webpage: www.lydamorehouse.com. Feel free to check it out, but I'll hit the highlights for you: 1) an ebook version of Archangel Protocol should be coming out from Wizard's Tower Press some time REALLY SOON (Cheryl Morgan suggested it might happen here in December or early next year;) 2) I have a short story that will be appearing in Dybbuk Press's second Biblical anthology KING DAVID AND THE SPIDERS OF MARS called "God Box," which is about among other things golden hemerroids, that is currently on the docket for June of 2013; and 3) if you somehow missed it, I had two releases in August 2012: PRECINCT 13 (Tate's newest from Penguin) and SKY-TINTED WATERS (an anthology edited by Michael Mirriam in which my short story "Tutivillius" appeared about a demon whose job it is to collect words managed in the performance of Mass.)

I feel like such an idiot for having an old page up for so long. Part of the problem is that I haven't had a file transfer program I've felt comfortable with since I killed that last laptop with a frozen turkey. I'm a huge fan of CuteFTP, probably because I'm from the days when we all did our own html coding -- as I'm sure will be very clear, if you visit the site -- and, I didn't want to have to buy a new copy. I tried Filezilla, but we just didn't click. I had to tell Filezilla I just wanted to be friends and ran back to CuteFTP, even though I had to pay for services, as it were. (Wow, that sounds tawdry!)

Anyway, I also emailed a few people I've neglected over the past several months.

This is all part of my "Wake The F*ck Up, Lyda" program. As I've been telling a lot of my local writer colleagues, I've been really struggling with my career these past few months. One of the problems is that I seem to be at the place where I have to kind of start at a square one, or, perhaps more accurately square one and a half. By that I mean, since my editor at Penguin seems to be a dead end, I back at that place I haven't been for nearly a decade and a half... in competition with all the new authors for a spot with a new publisher. This means, I have to probably write a novel to sell it, which I haven't gotten my brain around because since 1999, I've been selling my work on proposal really steadily. I've kind of forgotten how to do this, and, quite honestly, have rested on my laurels for too long.

So... there you go. Currently, I'm still putting my energy into the NaNoWriMo project, SHATTERED MASK. I handed the first chapter out to Wyrdsmiths, so I'm waiting to hear if they think it's something seriously worth persuing. If so, I may actually have to step back and write out a synopsis/plot thing, since I kind of wrote it not knowing where I was going.

But the other bit of good news is that my agent is worried about me. She e-mailed on Friday to let me know she's headed off to a European vacation and that when she comes back we're going to talk on the phone about strategies for the new year and rustling up some writing work. She's got some feelers in at some places and, with any luck, something will hit somewhere. I haven't given up.... though I do feel lately like I'm floundering quite a bit.

Anyway, on Monday I have a lot of fan art to share. I have a bunch of peices I drew in reference to a fic that my friend empty_mirrors and I wrote together, and, last night, in preparation for writing to my pen pal, I drew another fun sketch of my boy Renji.

Okay... it's 3:15 am now. I may try to go back to sleep for a few hours.

Fan Fiction Friday Feels

Right. For obvious reasons, people directed me to both of these:

http://io9.com/5962913/fan-fiction-friday-iron-man-and-captain-america-in-hungry

http://io9.com/5964738/fan-fiction-friday-harry-potter-and-lucius-malfoy-really-have-to-go-in-rain-of-gold?popular=true

I admit, I laughed. It was, however, a guilty sort of laugh, because I'm really not sure I'm okay with what's happening here. There is, in point of fact, a reason that there are warnings posted on slash. Porn is very, very personal. It actually takes a lot of courage to write slash, particularly when things start getting hot-and-heavy, because as a writer you're VERY AWARE of your shortcomings. What if I'm the only person who finds this hot? What if I actually really suck at writing the hot? What if the physics of the hot _don't actually work_? What if I'm showing off my complete and utter lack of knowledge about male/female/trans/other anatomy?? WTF, OMG I'M HITTING "POST"!! (And then you either cower in the corner nervously awaiting comments/kudos or you alternately do that while also hitting "refresh.")

Fic and slash communities are supposed to be safe places for you to try out your kink and maybe, with luck, find people who appreciate it and share your interest. Our community is also very young, which means it ought to be forgiving and supportive.

Now there's a troll in our midst. Someone who is intentionally ripping open sensitive, raw, vulnerable things in a public forum AS ENTERTAINMENT. I have nothing but sympathy for the fan writers who have been targets so far. I only hope that they have good friends, loyal readers, and the number of an excellent therapist.

Something like this would ruin me. Not only does Mr. Brinken poke at the porny bits, he also mercilessly attacks the prose. I would never be able to write again if one of my peices were skewered in this way. Not just porn, but anything, ever. I'd probably be hard pressed to write my grocery list after treatment like this because I'd be thinking, "Oh god, this is probably laughable and stupid."

Reviews are hard on professional writers. Crap like this could kill an amateur. And, yeah, you can point fingers and say, maybe that's a public service, but I say no. I say this isn't cool.

I also want to know if io9/Mr. Brinken are asking for permission before they publish excerpts of these writers' works. When the Pioneer Press did an article on blogs, they called me to ask to make sure it was okay to reprint A SINGLE LINE. I want to know that io9 is doing these writers the same courtesy. I bet not. I bet they feel free because we're a vulnerable community. I bet they don't even consider it for a second because what we write technically violates copyright in a way that makes us feel we have no redress, no rights, no sense that we DESERVE to be treated fairly.

I had long considered io9 as a fan ally. Something like this may very well destroy the fan fic/slash community because why the hell would I want to post my work anywhere io9 could find it?

So much so wrong. I am actually now incoherent with rage.

Monday, OMG

Right, so I started the Monday after a long weekend WITH NO COFFEE. Then, half-way to school, Mason calmly informs me that we've forgotten his backpack.

Argh.

But, things are better now. I decided since Monday decided to SUCK LIKE A HOOVER, I would treat myself to a stop into my favorite coffee place, Claddaugh, and order a five dollar latte, which I almost never do any more. Claddaugh is a lovely place on 7th Street in the sort of outskirts of downtown St. Paul where you get the occasional crazy person who likes to sit in the warm coffeeshop. Today, as I waited for my to-go order, the crazy person in question shouted at random intervals nonsense about California. I couldn't tell what exactly he was talking about, but he didn't seem happy with that particular state of the union. My favorite part? Everyone ignoring him. I asked Mary, the coffee shop owner about him, and she shrugged and say, "Ah, he's harmless," and the guy sitting at the bar and I got into a discussion about how it's kind of nice the way coffee shops deal with the ocassional crazy. This guy was a regular, and people just sort of tuned out the outbursts. If anything, there was almost an air of protectiveness. "Him? Oh, he's OUR crazy." I told the guy at the bar about the time I was at Madison for WisCON and I was up early, as usual, and hanging out at the coffeeshop, Michelangelo's. A crazy guy there liked to randomly stand up and expound on how communists were in charge of the Interstate system and probably we were all going to hell because of it. Same as at Claddaugh. He was clearly enough of a regular that most people glanced up briefly when he started his speech, but then went back to reading their Saturday newspapers or playing Angry Birds on the iPhones.

After leaving Claddaugh, I came home to discover a request for an interview in my in-box. So I took a few minutes to answer the dozen or so questions and send it back. I got asked that ubiquitous question, "If they ever made a movie of your books, who would you cast...?" Normally, I hate that question because I don't watch enough TV or movies to even have a clue who's the new hottie superstar. But, I now have a defaut answer! J. Michael Tatum. He is, in fact, the only actor I know. True, he's currently best known as the voice of Sebastian in "Black Butler" and for his work in "Ouran Host Club," but, having met him, I can tell you, he'd make a fine Valentine or Sebastian in live-action. So, ta dah! I finally have a decent answer to that question. Granted, it makes me look perhaps a bit like a super-geek to name an Anime voice actor, but to which I say, "And your point...?"

The fun part of this story was that I was feeling brave so I texted J. Michael himself and told him this (through reasons that still somewhat baffle me, we exchanged phone numbers at the end of Gaylaxicon--apparently I didn't give him the impression I thought I did, which was, "Idiot Squeeing Fan Grrl"), and, anyway, instead of getting back, "And you are...?" He wrote back something very sweet which implied that he remembered me, but also made him seem like possibly the NICEST GUY ON EARTH. It's possible that he stared at his phone and thought, "Who the fuck is this?" but then shrugged and decided, "Well, you know, it never hurts to be nice," and then later went to the Googles to try to remember what possessed him to give his real phone number to someone in Minnesota who wasn't Anton... but, hey, it kind of made my day, regardless.

Thus cheered, I was able to make the return run to Mason's school to deliver the all-important backpack with "big mouth" (their planner thingie into which EVERYTHING OF SIGNIFICANCE goes,) and make a trip to the Ramsey County Public Library to begin to return the six thousand books that Mason took out at the beginning of Thanksgiving break. I also had to pay a nearly six dollar fine, because, well, for us, the break started at the beginning of the month and Ramsey County is evil and actually charges their juvenille patrons for overdue books.

In other exciting news, today is also going to be the day that I do something with all the leftover potatoes. You will be happy to know that I've started some potato bread. I'm a big fan of potato bread myself, even though I suspect my family will think much less of it than I do. It still only uses a cup of the stuff, so I will also be making knefla (a German potato/noodle-thing) for diner. That should take care of most of them. Perhaps I will also have to have one last gravy-slathered pile for a late lunch, too.

Whoot. Well, that's probably all the news that's fit to print. I will have to, at some point, write a recap of our Thanksgiving adventures. Suffice to say there was turkey (24 pounds of it), stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, yams, green beans, brussel sprouts, and freshly baked French bread. Our friends the Jackson came so there was Boggle and puzzling and amazingly awesome company for several days. It's been a much quieter, sadder house without them. Thanksgiving might be my favorite holiday because we actually have this lovely tradition of celebrating with the family we chose rather than the family we came from. I have no issues with my family of origin, mind, but it's really quite wonderful to gather people you've known and loved for years... people you picked, your friends... and hang out with them for a giant meal.

And Now for a Brief Bleach Freak Out!

Yesterday Mason and I had a Bleach marathon. We ate our Japanese candy and drank our lychee soda (which had a cool gimmick as part of the package--the carbonation was started when you punched a glass marble [part of the cap] into the bottle. It rolled around and fizzed. Kind of... cool?.... creepy?) The candy was lovely. I can happily report that the Internet LIES, and "Every Burgers" are only shaped like hamburgers; they taste like chocolate cookies (there is a very Japanese funky raspberry-like after taste, but generally very nom-able.) Ice cream flavored KitKats, however, really pretty much nail the ice cream flavoring. Not sure how that worked for me, but Mason loved them.

We have a lot left over, so you're all happy to come over if you're feeling brave.

At any rate, he and I slogged through seven more episodes. We're at 280-something now, I think. The point is we're in the middle of the Fake Kakakura Town battle. Urahara and company have just joined in to face off with Aizen, and it looks like we have to endure another tiny filler arc before returning to the action, which is why we were okay with quitting yesterday.

At night, when I tuck Mason in to bed, we always have a little chat. He asks, "What would you like to talk about tonight?" and we cover all sorts of topics. Usually I tease him by offering things like, "Chickens!" But, last night, no surprise, the talk turned to Bleach. We'd had to put up with a two episode cleverly disguised filler arc of all of Ichigo's big battles. At some point this triggered a thought for Mason because he said to me, "Is it only Renji and Ichigo whose outfits change during bankai?"

Head. Exploded.

The significance of this tiny detail is actually very HUGE in the world of Bleach. It has to do with how people interact with their magical swords (zanpakuto). There's a lot of discussion about how you level-up. Traditionally, you mediate with your zanpakuto to learn its name (shikai) and then go deeper into your inner world and discover how to work together (bankai.) The fact that both Renji and Ichigo are changed by their swords (and not the other way around) seems really IMPORTANT and indicative of some really deep soul connection. I'm pretty sure, in fact, that Renji's captain is secretly horrified that Renji allows Zabimaru to affect a change in Renji's appearance. This seems almost like a violation of some sacred shinigami thing, but what, exactly, I'm not sure. But, all I know is that I should have noticed. This is, as our vice president might say, a big F*CKING deal.

Why is it that my nine year old son is more brillant about my Anime than I am? He claimed, after I told him how amazing his mind was, that I told him this long ago when we first started watching. I have no memory of that, so I told him it counts as his idea. I'm pretty sure he was just being modest, because I'm not sure he's ever seen me SO EXCITED by an idea before. (He doesn't come to cons with me.)

Also, apparently, there is some juicy information about how Renji's bankai was made waiting for me in the upcoming issues of Jump. Alas, all my friends are reading fan translations, so I'm at least a couple of weeks behind (if not more.) It took me forever to finally see Byakuya's "death" (HA! Still alive you non-believers!) and I only just got to the BIG REVEAL about Ichigo's mother (which I resisted at first, but then I was watching that whole recap of every fight ever and I noticed that Ichigo does seem to have had the ability to suck in reishi, in a way no other Soul Reaper can.... if Kubo-sensei really knew that all along, I might have to decide he's not an irritating moron who makes stuff up on the fly, but ridiculously brilliant.)

I do think, however, that Aizen is the Dr. Doom of Anime. His plans are so convoluted that they almost don't make any sense. (I know, I'll use a Quantum Bullet! No, dude, just shoot Captain America dead.) Aizen needs a Scott Evil to tell him to stop with the plans. Just kill the people and take their stuff. Because I'm still not entirely sure what motivates the guy, despite listening to his villian soliloquy six times at the end of the Rescue arc and now his expanded talks throughout the fight at Fake Karakura Town. Maybe having his rival finally on stage will tease out the truth. I ended up, for instance, kind of digging Tosen's backstory. Kind of goes to my personal theories that the Soul Society is seriously MESSED UP.

And oh? New captain crush? Still in love with Kouryaku, of course, possibly more so since seeing the children's game creepiness of his fight with Coyote Startk, but Komamura... so amazingly noble. Furry fans should be all over him. He's... totally hot.

On that note, I shall sign off.

My Birthday Continued

I turned 45 yesterday. It was a lovely day, except for the crushing headache I had all day. The weather was great and my family (actually my parents via a birthday check) treated me to a day at Barnes & Noble where I bought ALL THE MANGA. The thing I wanted the most was Bakuman #17 and I read it right away. I also picked up BLEACH #25, 27, and 40 (Mason wanted to skip ahead to see the name of Ulquiorra's 2nd release translation, turns out? It's called "second release." One of the many times these things seem cooler in Japanese. Can't imagine the American/English voice actor who had to shout, "Second Release!" and try to make it sound nearly as awesome in Spanish/Japanese.) Then my family spent the rest of the money on other books we'd been looking for, including a new drawing pad for me.

Quite the haul!

Mason and I had wanted to have a Bleach marathon, but my headache didn't cooperate. So today we went to the import store to stock up on Japanese candy for a full day tomorrow of Bleach. Our local mall, Rosedale, has a "Tomodochi.us," wherein we bought:



OMG. THEY HAD EVERY BURGER!!! Yes, hamburger flavor candies. Why would you not love something like this???? Also pictured are Ice Cream flavored KitKats (sorry, Karin, no green tea flavor, I checked.) We also picked up Meiji Gummy Choco (muscat flavor) and Konpeito Sugar Candies (various flavors,) and a Litchi flavored carbonated drink whose brand name I can't actually read.

Also, for Bleach fans out there, I did not see ANY Soul Candy. I checked everywhere... perhaps behind the counter? Also, no freeze dried squid covered in chocolate. I got excited when I saw a squid a package of something, but the contents did not seemed to be squid flavored. Perhaps just a mascot...? I also found a lot of flavors of gum, but nothing garunteed to increase my breast size, alas.

My birthday... the gift that keeps giving.

My cookies! Mine!

Hey, I'm writing to you from my old, new computer. Remember the one that kept crashing? Well, I had to send it back to the manufacturer and they swapped out the hard drive and sent it back free of charge. It's still slow and stupid, but it's mine! All mine. Bwah, ha, ha, ha, HA! I can bookmark ALL THE PORN!

Horray!

In other news, I sent off the fanfic proposal to the Loft. I went with just a fanfic 101 class, instead of a "making the switch to pro" for now. Fingers crossed that they take it. If not, I'll try the other idea out on them for next year. Given the amount of interest in this subject I've gotten from adults, I think they'd be missing out on a big market if they passed on it... but who knows?

For sure I'll be teaching SF/F to teens. Now the only Loft proposals I need to put together are for their online classes. I may try to teach another one of those, though I have to confess to finding them much more difficult. I'm a better teacher face-to-face. Dialogue is my strength. My crazy, non-linear energy works much, much better in person than in a static medium like the online.

I'm the band you want to see live. My performances are just that much better. (Ask anyone who's seen me at con.)

My NaNoWriMo status tells me that if I continue at this speed, I should be done by sometime mid-February. Whoever came up with that particular feature on the NaNo stats should be shot because it totally undermines the point of a deadline. I look at that and say, "Oh, February? That's not bad."

On the flip side, I handed the first bit out to Wyrdsmiths and Eleanor really enjoyed the first chapter. She gave me some things to consider in the meantime, and I've been trying to work on that.

In other writing news, Google Docs rocks. I've been having a blast co-authoring some fic with empty_mirrors . It's like MAGIC. You can watch the other person composing real-time even though they live thousands of miles away. I love the future. It's AMAZING.

And kuk sool makes me sweaty. We did a horrible excercise tonight where I thought I was actually going to pass out. Ankle grabs. Not good for the asthma. I don't think I would have represented the 11th Division very well by passing out like the Nelly Queen I am.

NaNo FAIL

I kind of suck at NaNoWriMo. I don't write the right way for competative writing, I think. In fact, I got really mad the other day when I checked in at the site and saw that someone had posted a reminder: Revise Later.

That's probably really good advice on some level. If your problem is never getting to the end of a novel or a short story, just pushing forward is exactly what you should do. But, I actually have a hard time going forward without revision, because, if the change is big enough, everything after that point is effected by it.

I also think that my mistake this year is not having an outline. I'm experimenting writing original fiction this way--without a proposal--and it's taking its toll. I stop to think. I stop because I get stuck.

Well, it's only half way through the month. It ain't over yet.

In other news, I spent a good part of the weekend baking holiday cookies. We like to get a jump on baking because Shawn loves to have cookies in the freezer to pull out for guests. So we invited our nephew Jonathan and his girlfriend Sarah over and we spent the good part of Sunday baking up a storm. We made spritzes and cut-out sugar cookies (with the shapes you decorate with frosting), "black-and-white" (which are cream cheese cookies half dipped in chocolate), and a metric tonne of pizzelles, which are Italian ainse-flavored cookies that you press with a special pizzelle iron. We also tried a new drop cookie that's pumpkin-flavored which were deemed Minnesotan "interesting" (which is to say, yeah, we won't be trying those again soon.) I also discovered a recipie from King Arthur Flour for an easy soft pretzel which the family loved so much that I've already made them twice since. The big complaint about those? Make two batches! Need more!!

We still have quite a few more cookies that Shawn would like to make, but I think she feels good we've got so many under our belt. But Shawn is one of those people who adores Christmas and loves to pull out all the stops--never mind that we're pagan.

For me, I like the community of baking big batches of things. It's fun to spend hours with family and friends around some project like food, because you spend enough time together to get past some of the awkward of not been super-close friends, you know? It's a bonding thing. Plus, you don't have to just sit and come up with things to say. You can just chat easily while focusing on other things. Works out really well.

I also applied for a job at Sixth Chamber Bookstore. I didn't get it, though I think if I'd been super-excited and less hesitent about working evening shifts, they'd have hired me on the spot. Even with my total lack of experience. The poor guy who owns the place hadn't had a vacation or a day OFF for six months. Since Thursday night when I dropped of my application, I keep mentally trying to make my schedule work so that I could go back and offer myself more sincerely, but the idea of being away from Shawn the one time we have together doesn't appeal. And the bookstore isn't the kind of job to make that loss entirely worth it. Maybe if they paid a zillion dollars and hour and came with health benefits, you know? Still, I'm kind of sad about it. I adore that bookstore and I think the atmosphere there would have suited me well. Both of the people who own it are the kind who talk to customers about books ina very overly-friendly, non-Minnesotan way, which is part of the place's charm, IMHO.

Mason is off now for Intersession until after Thanksgiving. He's super disappointed that there's probably not enough snow to go sledding--though we may try anyway. I heard, however, it's supposed to warm up enough today that our dusting might just melt. We'll have to see. Our family LOVES snow. Yesterday, however, to be fair, Shawn didn't have work and Mason had no school so we could hunker down and have a "pajama day" (where we sit around and play video games and read and do a whole lot of nothing.) We did have to bust out and go to Target, though, because Mason has outgrown his shoes... and sweat pants (which he wears to bed)... and we needed lightbulbs. So we had to make the trip to the store at some point.

I think that's all I know. How was your weekend?

ALL THE FEELS

So with all my extra jittery energy yesterday morning, I did, in fact, spend the wee hours between 2 am and 6 am working up a one-week proposal for writing SF/F for teens. It's called MORE THAN THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE: Writing SF/F and, despite the fact that I was composing it completely on raw nerves, apparently it was exactly what the coordinator of the Loft's teen classes was looking for and she's going to put me on the schedule. I told her when she emailed me with the news, that I'd also really love to propose a couple of other classes, including on one writing fanfic.

So now I've been thinking about what I might like to do with a class on fanfic. My first question to you, the fanfic writer, is this: when you were 15, would you have been more interested in ALL THE FEELS: FanFic 101 or NO MORE KUDOS: Making the Switch from FanFic to Original Fiction? I think that either would fly, so don't try to think in terms of which is more "legit" to teach.

I've been asking people for advice on FB and Twitter, but it occurs to me that LJ is probably the best platform in so many ways. A lot of fic writers live here, after all.

At any rate it's probably only going to be a one-week class, so that's only five days of teaching (I might try two weeks, but...). Anyway, I have a couple of *for sure* topics to cover: how to take critique from strangers/find beta readers, the power of the psuedonym, and some of the basics of writing. Here's the thing, my biggest problem is that I came into fanfic both as a reader and writer AFTER I wrote and sold my first professional novel. That makes my perspective wonky. I knew how to write (at least the basics) and had already struggled with the craft of writing in a way that stressed/fostered the skills especially needed for original fiction. I'd love to know if you've seen any trends/problems that are very specific to having learned to write in someone else's world with characters pre-formed. I can imagine some, have read a few, but I suspect that some of my perspective is... well, too outsider-y, you know? That I come with the wrong set of expectations when I read fic. Because, as my friend naomikritzer said in the comment thread on FB, fanfic is a large part play (and the big draw for me, honestly,) and so it should be judged by different standards perhaps.

Thoughts? Counterpoints? Arguments? Ideas?

In other news, I've been failing NaNoWriMo, somewhat. I've been writing a lot, but I've clearly been playing the game wrong. Yesterday, my word count only went up by 16 words. The problem? I'd done a massive amount of revision and there's no way to record that in the competitive writing that is NaNo. But, I've decided to be a rebel. I'm going to actually just try to have something sellable at the end of the month, and worry less about writing 2,000 words a day on it.

Ha!

Also, I'm going to have to take some time to update you all on my continuing saga of the fish obsession. Loki's tank? It's totally posion! I tried putting a 12 cent feeder fish in it and it was dead within four hours!! Creepy! I'm going to have to stip that tank to the bone and try to restart. The other tank, the thirty gallon one I tried to give a vague sort of Japanese garden look to is doing well. I have two white mountain minnows in there conditioning it and they seem happy as... well, not clams, but some other appropriately happy fish-type thing. My plan with that tank is to have, as Mason calls it, a "bait ball" of minnows. The tank could hold as many as seventeen, so I'm going to slowly built toward that.

Okay, that's all the news for now. Must run. Have a lot of outside work I need to get done!

It's 2 am... Do You Know Who Your President Is?

Seen the Samuel L. Jackson video, "Wake the F*ck Up!"?

Well, I did.

I woke the f*ck up just now, quite literally, in a cold sweat. My stomach was in such a knot, I actually felt vomit at the back of my throat. When I went to bed, there was no clear winner for US President, and I fell asleep to begin with only because I'd only allowed to look at the results once yesterday. Unfortunately, that was when Romney was in the lead and... well, I honestly just decided to shut down and hide until it was all over.

All I can say?

OH THANK GOD!

And, fingers crossed, here in Minnesota both ammendments appear to have been defeated and, if God(dess) truly loves us, Bachmann will lose her seat in the recount. But, OMG, I'll take Batshit Bachmann if I can have all the rest.

It's probably hard to express how sick I've felt all day today. For reasons having entirely to do with the marriage proposal, this election felt very, very personal to me. My state was attempting to legalize discrimination -- they wanted to change the state constitution of Minnesota so that it was okay to NEVER, EVER recognize a marriage other than the heteronormative ones.

And it's been far, far too close.

My god there are a lot of haters out there. And they hate *me.* But it seems as though we may have taken back our state senate as well, and, again, if that turns out to be true, and we really have defeated this amendment, there is a small glimmer of hope that eventually the state ban on gay marriage could be overturned in my lifetime (and possibly even within some decent amount of time, like say five years.) In which case, I invite you all to our wedding. I never planned on marrying Shawn. I'm so old school that I never (in Shawn's words) felt we needed to "ape the patriarchy." And, my thought is, after twenty-six years, if it "ain't broke, don't fix it." Some of the automatic rights would be phenomenal, but Shawn and I have done our legal best to do what we can with the system as it exists today. But Mason has asked us to do it if such a thing should ever become legal. It's important to him that his non-traditional family not be quite so damn non-traditional any more. He wants to be able to say, "Yeah, my moms are married. Just like your mom and dad." (Though, the heck? Plenty of "normal" kids can't say their parents are still married, or ever married....) But, the point is, we promised to get married for Mason. Let's hope this is one step toward that goal.

Ugh, I could still puke at the thought. It hasn't made quite as bit a stink as the marriage amendment here, but the voter ID ammendment, also on the ballot in Minnestoa, was, most certainly, defeated. I was worried that with all the focus on marriage equality that this one might slip by people's attention. Minnesota has historically had some of the best voter turn out in the nation. That would have changed, and given some of the margins by which we've won (and lost) some seats, every single vote counts here. Think: Al Franken. Pray: Michele Bachamann.

I'm not sure I'm going to be able to go back to bed, despite what appears to be good news all around. I have a bunch of projects that could use the extra hours of my attention and I may just give up and give in to writing my proposals for the Loft classes I might like to teach, as well as getting a jump start on today's NaNoWriMo count. There's also my Captain America in space proposal that's been languishing while I geared up for NaNo, and I chatted with my agent yesterday about sending some of my previously rejected Tate proposals elsewhere and now I'm charged with dusting those off and seeing if any of them are worth doing that with.

That's plenty to keep me busy until the family wakes up at 6 am. Plus, from what I gather from my Facebook feed, all y'all have been up this whole time. We might as well ALL be crispy and exhausted when the work day starts, eh?